


Not My Bias - An Im Jaebeom (JB) Fanfic

by Jb2ndMom



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Ballroom Dancing, Bedside Hand-Holding, Break Dancing, Break Up, Dancing, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fire Show, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gentle Kissing, Getting Back Together, Hamilton References, Heartbreak, Hurricanes & Typhoons, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kissing, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Menstruation, Musical References, Musicals, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Sleepovers, Slow Romance, Song Lyrics, Soulmates, Stranded, Teacher-Student Relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 204,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jb2ndMom/pseuds/Jb2ndMom
Summary: Jaebeom is a perfectionist who has a decent English vocabulary but refuses to speak to anyone, as he knows his accent and skills are not perfect. He is challenged to by the CEO of JYP Entertainment to go to the States for specialty English Language immersion training. There he encounters the daughter of the main trainer, who likes all of GOT7 with the exception of him.Sparks fly from the beginning as barbed comments are exchanged. Jaebeom is intrigued by the girl who isn't interested in him. As they work together their relationship takes many interesting turns, including accidental "romantic" moments. Does he ever become her bias or is he forever relegated to the friendzone?This is a completed fanfic.





	1. Cat's Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction, so please be understanding.
> 
> I started this on July 21, 2017 and originally shared it as it was being written in the Im Jaebum (JB) Amino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any applicable trigger warnings will be noted at the beginning of any chapter where they are relevant.

 

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom was looking down at the rings in his hands. They were beautiful and intricately designed personally by him. The letters inscribed on the inside were clearly meaningful to him and a unique show of his love for the girl he was talking about.

Each ring actually consisted of two rings interlocked one with the other, just like he wanted his relationship with her to be. I was thankful he wasn't looking at me yet, as I never could keep my emotions from showing loud and clear on my face. Even if that weren't the case, that stubborn tear that had broken free and was slowly trailing down my cheek would be a dead giveaway.

I convinced myself that the reason I was so upset was because he had just told me that when he introduced me to the other members for the first time, he would not be telling them I was his best friend after all. At those words, I had felt like I had been kicked in the gut. My chest felt tight and was aching, like someone had sprayed it with ice water, and that was even before he started going on about confessing to someone he hadn't even mention once in the past six months since we first met.

╔═══════ ≪ ༺༻ ≫ ═══════╗

**Six Months Ago**

╚═══════ ≪ ༺༻ ≫ ═══════╝

I really hated my mom. She knew I didn't like meeting new people or letting them into my "space." She especially knew that I detested having people stay at our house. I am a very private person and hate changes, especially when it comes to meeting strangers. I might talk to someone after I've known them for a while...like maybe six or eight years.

She had done something like this in the past and it had been an unmitigated disaster. But this time she had gone to an entirely new level. Not only was some stranger going to stay with us for six long weeks, she made me go by myself to pick him up at the airport. I seriously considered ditching him and heading to the bookstore or library for the solitude I longed for, but my conscience held my feet in place near the baggage claim. While I waited, I reflected on that prior "house guest."

The first time Mom forced a long-term house guest on us, it was a guy named Greg. He was a college student who was going through a rough patch. He'd moved to the area several months back and had no family nearby. He had contacted her via Facebook asking if he could stay for a bit, as he was transferring from the dorms in the local community college to the four year college and was between dorms. She thought it would be for the weekend, but he was still camped out in the play room three months later. Guess he forgot to mention that he hadn't yet applied to the University much less sat for the ACT.

The smell was awful, as Greg seemed to have an aversion to bathing and doing laundry. Things were tense, to say the least, and really turned south when he took to teasing me relentlessly. The day he left, I celebrated, but not until after my brother threw out the brown underwear he had left behind which had been wedged alongside the sofa bed and we'd doused the room with disinfectant. I mean seriously?!?!? What was my mom thinking having another 20 something year-old guy stay at the house?

My reminiscing about the house guest from hell was interrupted by the announcement that the flight from Seoul had arrived. It was too late to turn and run. How was I going to endure the 2 ½ hour drive home from Miami with this stranger? I mean, seriously, Mom!!! If the traffic in Miami wasn't bad enough, she had me set to drive it with a passenger I didn't know and who couldn't even speak English!

 

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆JB⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Park Jin Young, the CEO of JYPE, had called me into his office. He sounded very excited, but that wasn't anything unusually.

"Jaebeom-ah, you are going on a secret mission as leader, so pack for a six-week stay in a warm climate. I rearranged your schedule and made up a story, so we can surprise the others later on."

"Going where?" I asked, not liking the sound of this at all.

"It's time you get over that perfectionism of yours and learn how to really speak English. Yeah, I know you have a pretty good grasp of the language and your vocabulary is actually quite extensive, but it does no one any good if you refuse to open your mouth and say anything because you're concerned you wouldn't say it 'just right' or they won't understand you because of your accent. Well, no more excuses, as I've found a solution."

My mind raced at what he was telling me. I would be gone for six weeks. Starting when?

"Oh and your flight leaves in six hours, so get packing and say nothing to the others. I'll take care of that."

...and I was going to have intensive English lessons! I actually liked that idea, but the short notice, coupled with the time I would be gone, had me a bit on edge. He sure knew how to rattle me.

"Here's your ticket. You'll be flying into Miami and will be picked up there. You'll be staying with the instructor, so you'll get 24/7 English immersion. She's a specialist in something called "cognitive retraining". This is right up your alley. She is going to help you "hear" the sounds that are different in English versus in Korean and will help you master an American pronunciation. I guess some would call it accent elimination, but she said it would be more correct to call it accent addition. Oh, I should add that you won't be staying in Miami. There will be about a 3 hour drive from the airport, so dress comfortably."

JYP nim continued, "I'll text you the name and number of the trainer as well as a description of the person picking you up at the airport. I've already sent her your number. Oh, and one last thing, she is an Ahgase!"

My hand phone notification sounded and I looked down to see, "Trainer: TJ, 239-555-4307. To be picked up by, her assistant Sharay. Sharay has medium length blonde hair and will probably be wearing a camouflage army jacket and jeans."

I thought to myself, "That doesn't help a lot. How's blonde hair and an army jacket any help at all in finding one person in a sea of faces?"

Before I could ask any further questions, I was ushered out of the office by a driver to go pack and get ready for the airport.

 

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

The crowd around the conveyor belt was shoulder to shoulder. "How am I supposed to spot him in this mess?" I thought, when I noticed a flash of red to my left. Sure enough standing a little to the side, scanning the throng, was a tall, broad shouldered young man wearing a red Ventements oversized hoodie.

Though he had on a snapback and, like many of the other passengers, a face mask, I immediately knew it was JB; the one I was supposed to pick up, after all my mom adored him and never shut up about how he was the best of all of GOT7. Sure I love GOT7, but I would have rather been there to pick up any other member than JB.

I slowly walked towards him. I was way outside my comfort-zone here. My instincts told me to run, but I was rooted to the spot. I was torn between my reluctance to meet strangers, especially this stranger, and the compelling need to look at his face and get closer to him. His face won out and as I approached, our eyes met.

In a thick accent, but a soft and deep voice, I heard him say as he came very close, so only I could hear, "It would have been easier to find you if I had been told you had the most beautiful green eyes."

I mean, seriously?! What am I supposed to say to THAT!?!?!?!? I muttered, "감사합니다" hoping my pronunciation was somewhat plausible, and that my facial expression would not show the emotions that were surging through me. I guess I did an adequate job with the greeting, because I could tell that even under the mask he was gracing me with a wide smile, since his eyes all but disappeared and made double moon-shape slits in their place.

 

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆JB⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I couldn't figure this girl out. I had just committed a serious "zero filter" comment and she just responded with a formal "Hello', in a passable Korean accent at that, reached down and grabbed one of my bags and under her breathe mutter something about, "How could you tell with your eyes closed!" I nearly choked.

I wanted to laugh out loud. No one had been brave enough to say that to my face before. Not even the members. Not even Jackson. Not even JYP, though I'm sure they all thought it at one time or another. When she said it, her eyes flashed with a hint of yellow, so I could tell it was a comeback to mitigate her shock at my comment and not a racially disparaging remark. I'd have to watch it with this one. She was feisty and apparently not the Ahgase.

I was a little concerned that she would think I was some pervert or something. I mean, who starts a conversation with a stranger like that? We hadn't even exchanged names or anything, but before these thoughts could translate into words or actions, or maybe something like an apology, she asked if I was ready to leave or if I needed a drink of water or a bite to eat since the drive would be about 2 or 3 hours depending upon traffic. Was she subtly suggesting I might need a bathroom break or did she really think I might be hungry or thirsty?

"I'm good," was all of could manage before she jumped in and said that she would be helping with my training and that the lessons began here and now.

"I can tell that your English is not nearly as basic as you have let on to your fans, so I'll just proceed. If there's anything you don't understand, just jump in and tell me. I'll slow down and explain then. Okay?"

Wow she caught on fast and figured out my guilty secret in no time. Looks like I wasn't going to get to coast at all. She was going to force me to get over my perfectionism, and apparently she was wasting no time about it.

She began, "First of all, we need to get a few things straight. I WILL be correcting you each and every time you make a mistake, because you'll only reinforce bad habits if I let it slide even once. Practice doesn't make perfect unless practiced perfectly, because practice makes permanent. Secondly, my two pet peeves are when people mix up the usage of good and well, and when they use 'I' when they should use 'me', and vice versa."

I didn't understand everything, but I got the gist of it and assumed my use of the word 'good' had been incorrect. Turns out I was on the right track, as she began explaining the difference between an adjective and an adverb, noting that the grammatically correct response should have been, "I'm doing well." Never thought I would meet someone who was as much of a stickler for grammar and pronunciation as I was. Seems like I was going to get a taste of my own medicine. All of a sudden, I regretted being too harsh with Mark, Jackson, and Bambam. Well, maybe not Jackson.

As we headed toward the parking garage without another word, I noted that this girl was comfortable with the silence; something I was glad for, as I hated small talk when I was tired and the flight had been a long one. Approaching the car, I noticed that the license plates read "IGOT7." This time I couldn't keep from chuckling.

Rolling her eyes, the girl noted, "My mom wanted "DEFSOUL," but you're not on my bias list, so she had to compromise."

I was floored and didn't even know how to begin to answer to that. It did make me more comfortable though, as I'd been a touch concerned that I had implied interest earlier with that comment about her eyes. Yeah, those eyes that were a beautiful green which I could now see contained flecks of yellow. Like a cat. I like cats. Concentrate. I had to be careful. The last time I approached a stray, I was seriously scratched...then I adopted her.

 

 

 

 


	2. Swamped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traffic, car trouble, and beef jerky!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also read this story on Wattpad, where there are some photographs included as part of the storyline to help you visualize some of the elements. https://www.wattpad.com/story/151430407-not-my-bias-an-im-jaebeom-jb-fanfic

 

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

JB wasn't anything like I thought he would be.

It was warm outside, so before he loaded his luggage in the truck, JB stripped off his red hoodie revealing a rather form fitting long-sleeved T-shirt that showed his broad back and muscles that rippled, as he struggled to fit all his luggage in the car. Okay, it was loose around his torso, but those shoulders were so large they were straining the fabric. Down the back of the shirt were the words, "Are you ready." My short answer was NO.

As I watched him load his suitcases, I decided it wasn't an unpleasant sight, but convinced myself it was no comparison to my favorite anime character who topped my bias list: Makoto Tachibana from "Free," to be precise. Still, it made me wonder why he always hid behind super oversized clothing. 'Ha, like I was one to talk, since I did the very same thing,' I thought to myself, as I glanced down at the military jacket I wore.

JB was tall; tall enough that he had to move the passenger seat back so he could stretch out his legs. He also seemed to think something was very amusing. I assumed it was me and that ticked me off a bit. I hate being judged.

"The traffic in Miami is a bear," I informed him, "so don't speak to me while I try to find my way out of town."

I know I was being a little abrupt. Okay, maybe more than a little, but I was still ticked off at my mother for sending me on this errand, and he was in the line of fire so was getting the brunt of my attitude. I didn't really care, as I wasn't out to impress anyway. Not to mention, I was secretly scared to death of driving in Miami and, when I'm afraid, I tend to lash out at anything and everything as a way to pretend I'm doing fine.

As we started off, I heard JB say, "By the way, I'm Jaebeom. What was your name again? Shara? Or is it pronounced a different way?"

I must have snorted at his attempt to say my name. "Sharay," I corrected him. "Like 'car' but starting with the /sh/ sound and /ay/ like in the song 'Hey'. Nice try though. Everyone butchers it. We'll be working on pronunciation later, so just do our best for now." I lapsed back into silence, as we exited the parking garage.

I had already planned my protest. When my mom tasked me with this chauffeur duty I took all the GOT7 CDs out of the car and replaced them with Super Junior, Astro, Henry, Billy Joel, and Michael Jackson.

"There's a case in the back filled with CD's," I told him. "Alligator Alley has lousy radio reception, so if you want any tunes those will have to do unless you want to be anti-social and put in your headphones." I was in full on B-atch mode.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **JB** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

The weather was warm, so I stripped off my hoodie and was glad to see that, in my haste to get ready, I had worn one of my favorite T-shirts that showed off my back and shoulder muscles. For a moment I mused that it was a pity that it wasn't form fitting across my torso, but given the heat, maybe it was just as well. Why did I care about that when this girl didn't seem exactly enamored with the task of driving me, or me in general for that matter?

Mostly because of the heat, but partly for show, I stopped midway through the loading process to push up my sleeves to bare my forearms. Even as I made a show of flexing my muscles, I thought it was a bit refreshing to have someone feel comfortable enough to treat me how they really felt rather than being on pins and needles trying to impress me at every turn. I wondered if I could change that, even if just a bit.

I took a while getting my suite cases in the trunk. Maybe I had over packed after all. Maybe I just wanted to see if I could get a rise out of Sharay by flexing my muscles. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

Getting into the car I found that, underneath the abrupt presentation, this girl was rather concerned about driving in the Miami traffic. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and decided that part of her attitude was due to that.

Looking through the CDs she had in the case behind her seat, I noticed no GOT7 albums but plenty of extra space. Funny that, as the case looked like it was accustomed to be filled to capacity. I wondered if there was a story behind that as I selected Michael Jackson's Thriller CD. At least we had MJ in common.

"What exactly is an Alligator Alley?" I managed to ask.

"Oh, the highway that runs from Miami to the west where we are going. It passes through the Everglades, which is a wetland and swamp filled with alligators. We don't want to break down there or run out of gas, as walking to the next rest stop can be a distance and is not exactly the wisest choice after dark. Given that it is near rush hour, we may not make it home before nightfall," she informed.

Again, I could tell there was a little strain in her voice. Was she joking about the alligators or was she serious? I wasn't sure if she was messing with me or really concerned about alligators. Maybe it was just the Miami traffic that had her rattled. I really didn't want to get up close and personal with an alligator.

After placing MJ in the CD player, we lapsed in to a strangely comfortable silence between us. After a bit, I really wanted to sing along but didn't want to distract her from the driving. She was right. This town was a zoo. Almost as bad as Seoul. I relaxed a bit and forgot about the alligators for a while.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

We finally made it out of Miami, but not before I had to back track a couple of times. I hate GPS systems, but looking at a map while maneuvering through the various overpasses, toll roads and such was not really an option, and JB wasn't really in a position to act as navigator.

Though I'm sure he noticed I became turned around a few times, he didn't make any snide remarks about my driving and remained quiet in the seat next to me. He also seemed amicable when I pulled into a Chick-Fil-A and suggested we take a break and stretch our legs before heading onto the Alley.

"You like iced coffee, right?" I asked, to which JB replied he did. "Then I'll order you a Frosted Coffee. It's coffee blended with soft-serve vanilla ice cream. It's my mom's favorite. Actually, she's beyond addicted to them."

"One large Frosted Coffee and one small Chocolate Shake, no cherry and no whipped cream on the shake, please," I said to the person behind the counter.

After ordering, we sat down to enjoy our drinks. Looking around, I noticed people staring at us. I guess it couldn't be helped. JB was a very striking individual. He hadn't put his hoodie back on after loading the car and his shoulder width and obvious muscles were just screaming "Look at ME!" Guess I had my answer to my earlier question about why he wore oversized close all the time.

When JB moved, his back muscles strained the fabric of his T-shirt and every girl and women in the place had their eyes trained on him with wary lust. The piercings and eye shadowing, combined with his physique, made him look like a bad boy, but as he tried his first Frosted Coffee, his grin spread into a wide smile. The pleasure showing on his face made him looked more like one of the little boys I watched over in my church childcare on Sundays. His eye smiles made his whole face light up and, along with his slight over-bite, his appearance magically changed from that chic and sexy leader of GOT7, to a boy any mom would love to have their daughter bring home.

Scanning the room, I saw every female noticed the change and appreciate both presentations. One guy sitting across from us was clearly agitated that his girlfriend was checking out JB. I guess his ego couldn't handle it, as he proceeded to make some comment in an overly loud voice about "Girly boys in makeup with jewelry," and something about "Damn foreigners."

Anger just welled up in me. I hate it when people judge others based on appearances. People do it with me all the time. Often I am accused of being shy or stand-offish. I am neither. I'm, well, cautious. I had experience with people who violated my trust in the past. I just didn't like opening up until I knew it was safe to do so, but having been in that position myself I was quick to rise to the defense of others who were being judged, whether I liked them or not. As I stood to confront this jerk, JB reached over and placed his hand on my arm and quietly said, "Don't. It's okay."

Settling back in my seat, "I'm sorry he's like that," poured out of my mouth. I was embarrassed that there were people in my country who were so judgmental and rude just because someone was from a different place.

"괜찮아," he responded and I was surprised that all those Korean dramas I overheard my mother watch actually resulted in my understanding him.

I settled back down in my seat and we finished our drinks in silence before heading off again.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **JB** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

I was quite chuffed when Sharay went to my defense at the Chick-Fil-A. Maybe it was just her sense of justice, or something, but I was pleased she cared enough to try rising to my defense. Obviously, this wasn't the first time I had heard such comments. It was par for the course regardless of the country. It even happened in Korea, so I was able to brush it off without a thought.

I was expecting Alligator Alley would appear more dangerous. Nothing could be as bland and benign as the straight, flat road that ran ahead of us with no apparent end. The road was flanked by tall marshland grass on either side.

I could make out a fence between the road and the wetlands, and assumed this was to help separate those alligators from the motorists. I saw no alligators, but there were some road signs that suggested all was not as serene as it looked. I could only hope the fence would do the job if needed.

I glanced over periodically at Sharay, and saw that now we were out of Miami traffic, she had calmed down significantly and was relaxing into the music. I really wanted to sing along with Michael Jackson, but held back as I remembered her admonishment about not disturbing her while driving. I also had a sneaky suspicion that I would also get a pronunciation check if I sang anything the wrong way.

To pass the time and stop myself from sneaking a glance at her eyes, I closed my own, still remembering her comment about them from earlier. It made me smile, probably broader than I had intended, as from my left I heard, "Is something funny or do you have gas?"

"No, no gas or you wouldn't have asked," I quipped. "I was recalling your comment about my eyes earlier and, well, it made me smile."

Crickets.

Had I offended her? I shifted so I was facing towards her and in full stealth mode, using my 'are they closed or not eyes' to my advantaged, I occasionally snuck a peek to see what she was up to. After several minutes, her relaxed posture had returned. When Sharay asked, "Do you need me to turn the air on more?" I decided to pretend to sleep. I really wanted to see what, if anything, she would do if she thought I was asleep.

I was not disappointed. About 15 minutes later she started to sing along with MJ, in what started off as a sweet, untrained but in tune voice. When she noticed I was 'sleeping' through it, she picked up the volume and really started to enjoy herself.

With my chauffeur serenading me and the fatigue from the trip and time change catching up to me, I finally nodded off for real, only to wake up to some rather choice words coming from Sharay, as the car swerved violently to the right and in the direction of the swamp and alligators.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

"Crap-ola!...$%%&&$#!&@€@! Flat tire!" I yelled more to myself that to anyone else. I had been singing along with Super Junior and cruising down the road. JB was softly, okay, not so softly, snoring in the passenger seat, when the front right tire blew and caused the car to violently jerk to the right and towards the soft shoulder of the road.

I had only just given up and stopped worrying about whether JB was able to hear me singing. I had figured that I was just going to be myself. It would be too exhausting, after all, to be anything but myself over the six weeks he would be here. No time like the present to start. If he was going to be weirded out, better get it started now. Guess the swearing would really clinch things one way or another.

JB started from his sleep as the car came to a shuddering stop on the side of the road, swamp grass so close it brushed against his window, as it had been too wet for the road-side maintenance crews to mow.

"Are you okay?" he inquired calmly. He seemed more concerned about me than anything else. I guess I hadn't paid that much attention to him during all my time following GOT7, unlike my mom who would have a better idea of what was 'normal' for him, since he wasn't my bias so wasn't on my radar. I was pleasantly surprised by his approach to our predicament. Maybe he just didn't realize yet that we had a pretty big problem.

The flat was on the side closest to any potential alligators that might breach the fencing, it was dark, the spare tire was underneath all of his luggage in the trunk, and if that wasn't enough, my stupid cell showed no signal to speak of. So much for calling the "Road Warriors" or AAA. Not good. Not good at all. Hope this guy was more than just a pretty face!

Although JB struggled to get the words out, I understood his goal. "Can we flag down one of the other people driving past to see if they could call for roadside assistance when they get to a place where there is a signal?" he inquired. It sounded like a better plan than I had, so I got out of the car.

It took JB a bit more effort to exit the car. He reclined his seat completely so he could climb into the back and out the driver's side from the back. It was an awkward effort, as he was so tall and lanky, but it seemed infinitely safer than braving the water-logged swampy side or getting personal with the gearshift had he tried to exit from the driver seat.

Together we found the mag flashlight my mom always keeps in the car and tried using it to signal down a driver now that it was getting dusk. The first three or four vehicles passed without even slowing down or changing lanes. I then remembered to pop the hood as a signal of car trouble.

For ten minutes we had no luck, and I was getting a bit concerned as the evening light was waning.

"Maybe you should show a leg and attract attention that way," JB suggested with a wink. He had to all but scrunch up his whole face to make it look like a wink so you could even tell one eye was actually closed and not just a slit. He looked rather comical and it broke down the remaining barriers I had set up in an instant.

"Yeah right! I don't think so. Maybe you could try, pretty boy. Flash your leg of something!" I was full on laughing now.

Without so much as a moment's hesitation, JB stuck one leg out, hiked up his pant leg and gave it his best try. I swear the first few cars that passed by actually sped up at the sight of him. I was rolling with laughter as he increased his antics. I was quite sure what he was doing was counterproductive when, surprisingly, a trucker stopped almost immediately thereafter. JB threw me a 'see I got the looks' grin.

"Looks like you need a bit more help than I can give since you're so close to the edge of the road, and it is so soft and wet from the rains. You're lucky you stopped when you did. Give me a bit and I'll drive ahead and call for some help. Could take a few hours. Want me to call anyone and let them know where you are so they don't worry?"

After giving him my mom's number so he could set her mind at ease, "Fred the Trucker" took off, with a reminder to get back in the car and watch out for "dem gators", leaving me alone again with JB, stranded on the side of the road. Why did this have all the makings of a bad KDrama!?

Laughing at JB's efforts to flag someone down had helped relax me a bit, and I was glad of that, but I was still rattled by the Miami traffic, the blown tire, and now I was starving. Talk about sensory overload.

Instead of getting back into the front seats, we settled into the back, as it was easier for JB to get in and out from there, and we weren't sure how long it would take before assistance arrived.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **JB** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

I can't believe I took the bait and actually stuck my leg out to try and get someone to pull over and help us, but it was well worth the effort. Not only did a trucker stop, but I got the best reaction from Sharay. She let out the loudest, deepest belly laugh. She threw her head back and guffawed, mouth opened wide. I could only think that she and Youngjae would get along really well.

At least this girl didn't seem worried about making an impression on me by being all shy and coy like others usually did. Strange thing though; this openness was even more appealing. She had a 'This is me, like it or lump it' attitude.

Watching the tail lights of "Fred the Trucker" disappear in the distance, it seemed like a good time to return to the car's interior and wait it out. As we got in, both our stomachs grumbled in sync.

"I have some emergency snacks we can share," I heard Sharay say as she began digging around in the pockets of her army jacket. She emerged with an assortment items. There were old Twizzlers, a Ziploc bag of cashew nuts, a packet of Skittles, and a bag of Teriyaki beef jerky. She also pulled out two bottles of water from a small zippered cooler. My first meal in the States!

It soon became clear that there wasn't near enough food for the two of us, as we got to the last piece of beef jerky. We were both eyeing it with intent, when Sharay suggested we play Rock, Paper, Scissors for it.

"가위 바위 보," I called and while I was playing, she lunged for the last piece. "Hey!" I yelled as I made a dash for it, tickling her in the hope that it would get her to drop the jerky. She didn't drop it, but instead got most of it in her mouth while squealing and squirming.

I couldn't resist the temptation. I leaned forward, pinning her against the door and the back seat, and looking her right in the eye moved in and snagged the bit of beef jerky sticking out of her mouth. As I did this, I could feel a ghost of her lips brushing mine.

I pulled back quickly, not in full triumph, because the glare she gave me stung a bit. I wasn't sure what made her angrier; taking the beef jerky or the breach of her personal space. Either way, I had some extra beef jerky and felt some guilty pleasure that maybe I had rattled her a bit as a man. I brushed off the fact that I was a bit shaken as well. We lapsed into silence again, but this time it was a bit strained.

After finishing all the snacks and waters, we settled in for what could be a long wait. I'd suggested rolling the windows down because it was hot, having turned off the engine and the AC. Sharay rolled her eyes at me and said, "Only if you want to be a meal to all the mosquitoes in the Everglades." But, she leaned over the driver seat in front of her, put the car in neutral, making sure the handbrake was on, before starting the engine just long enough that we could roll down the windows a bit for a cross breeze.

She'd been right. Within moments the mosquitoes were zooming in the windows and we were swatting at them. The decision to roll them up was made easier by a rumble of thunder and a crack of lightening. Without a moment's hesitation, Sharay all but jumped to the front and reversed the order to shut the windows, not a moment before the sky opened and a deluge of rain came down.

By this time we were really overheated. The temperature must have been well over 90F (25C) and now the humidity had lurched from 90%, which had been bad enough, to 100%. I was already feeling the heat, as it was way warmer than summers in Korea. Apparently, even Sharay was feeling the heat as she peeled off her Army jacket. I wasn't ready for that.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

I was hot! Usually I could handle the heat. After all, I wore my Army jacket year round and barely broke into a sweat. But this heat was different. It was super sticky and with the windows up and no AC on, the air was still. I figure that since it was getting pretty dark out that I could safely remove my jacket to cool off without feeling too expose.

I struggled to get out of my jacket, as it was sticking to me like glue from the sweat. Underneath I wore a sports bra and a simple tank top. Yeah, the tank top had a camo pattern as well, but I was told the green went well with my eyes. I placed my jacket on the back of the seat in front of me.

JB was trying to get comfortable in the overly small back seat. His legs were just plain too long. "Let me sit crisscross so you can stretch out," I offered, as I kicked off my tennis shoes and tucked my feet underneath me on the seat.

"Are you sure? That looks like it would be uncomfortable," JB noted, but he nonetheless kicked off his shoes and stretched his legs out in front of me.

"Naw. I can sleep just about any place and in any position. Once I'm out, I'm dead to the world," I responded, as I settled into the corner of the back seat against the window. "Get some sleep yourself. Aren't you exhausted from the time difference and travel? You seem to have passed out pretty quickly earlier and hardly got a chance to sleep. My mom plans on starting work with you tomorrow, so I suggest you rest when you can."

Without waiting for a response, and JB didn't offer one, I closed my eyes. In the silence behind closed eyes, the one thing I wanted to forget about unwittingly sprang to mind. I could still feel the sensation of JB's breath against my face and the heat of his mouth near mine, and could see that devilish twinkle in his eye as he snagged the beef jerky from my mouth.

Snap! I needed to focus on something else, and that something else was sleep. Fortunately, I had been way over stimulated and after the little bit of food combined with the heat, I was fading fast.

 

 


	3. When Lightening Strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Compromising sleeping arrangements, big goofy dogs (if you count Yugyeom too), and fried chicken!

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **JB** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

When Sharay said she could sleep anywhere, she meant it. Within no time at all she was sound asleep.

I, on the other hand, was having trouble getting comfortable. Though I was stripped down to a T-shirt, I was still hot because of the long sleeves. I toyed with the idea of taking that off too, when I realized at least the shirt soaked up some of the sweat. For some reason, looking at the blonde girl curled up in the corner, all I could think of was that I was thankful that my deodorant was working well.

Struggling to get comfortable, my mind kept jumping back to thoughts of beef jerky. What had I been thinking? As I looked over at Sharay I could barely make her out in the dark. There were no street lights on this stretch of the road. The only illumination was provided by the headlights of the occasional passing car. As the car lights flashed by periodically, or a crash of lightening illuminated the sky, I could make out her blonde hair, pulled back in a loose French braid. I smiled at the fact that she had felt comfortable enough with me to remove her jacket.

She wore a sports bra under a sleeveless tank top. It was simple and quite revealing, though without pretense. It was clearly not intended to be seen by anyone, certainly not me. It wasn't for show or attention. The sports bra, rather than some fancy push-up lacy thing, was both practical for this heat and in a strange way very appealing.

In the flashes of light as they passed I could get a faint glimpse of her curves. She was slender, had a noticeably tiny waist and a curve to her hip. Her stomach was flat and her shoulders and arms relatively toned. Looking at her legs curled up under her, it dawned on me that she was rather leggy too. Her jeans were loose fitting and hinted at muscles used to running.

After about 10 minutes, I really needed to shift position, but there was really nowhere to go unless Sharay moved as well. I gently prodded my chauffeur. "Sharay?" I asked. Nothing. "Can we shift positions a bit?" Still nothing.

I sat up and maneuvered my left leg so it was positioned along the backrest of the seat with my foot up against Sharay. Seeing that she didn't stir, I continued repositioning us until, eventually, I was sitting up, back against the door, with my legs bent but mostly stretched out across the back seat with Sharay between my legs. Her head rested against my shoulder and her body against mine. Amazingly, she hadn't woken once to my repositioning her.

I was more comfortable now with my legs stretched out and I thought maybe she looked more comfortable as well. I instinctively wrapped my arms around Sharay. Just as I registered what I had done and moved to release her, she repositioned herself in her sleep. Sharay turned slightly to her right side, draped her left leg over my right thigh, and grabbed onto my right arm with both hands.

Letting out a deep sigh, I started questioning the wisdom and the motive behind my change in sleeping positions.

As I lay there with this girl up against me, I realized how at peace I was. It felt so right. I did have a brief moment of concern when I thought of her reaction at waking to this arrangement, but decide to just enjoy the sensation of having her next to me like this for the time being. Though I struggled to remain awake, amazed at how comfortable I was in this rather precarious situation, fatigue finally won and I drifted off to sleep.

Bright yellow and orange flashing lights streamed though the rear window. I felt groggy and sluggish. I momentarily forgot where I was. Looking down at the girl in my arms, I snapped out of my sleepy stupor quickly.

I had mere moments before the rescue personnel began banging on the window. In that short time span, I took in the sight somehow knowing I would be hard pressed to get this close to her again anytime soon, if ever, after she figured out I had moved her.

Though the color of the lights and the strobe was distracting, I was able to see Sharay's face up close for the first time. With no makeup on, I could tell her skin was basically flawless. Her lips were slightly parted, her breathing heavy. Her eyelashes were really long, though being a blonde, the tips were bleached out and from a distance didn't look nearly as long as they actually where. I could feel her hands gentle embracing my arm and her leg pinning mine down. She smelled of apples and vanilla. It mixed well with my spice cologne, like apple pie and ice cream. Though it was still blistering hot, goosebumps broke out all over me and I felt a chill of excitement. Damn. This was bad. This was really bad.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

"Sharay! Sharay! The rescue service is here", I heard a voice call to me, as I was gently being shaken from my sleep. I sat up with a start and noticed that I had been leaning up against JB and was positioned between his legs! God what had I been thinking? I know I sleep soundly, but still...how could I have... I was even holding onto his arm and my leg was draped over him.

Thankfully, the yellow light was distorting colors, so the red that was surely flaming across my cheeks wouldn't be so evident. JB didn't seem the least bit flustered by the position of our bodies. He casually helped me sit up and moved his left leg to the floor board. We both scrambled to get our shoes on before the Road Ranger crew tapped on the window.

"We got a call from a trucker that you guys had a tire blow. Sorry, we couldn't get here earlier. There was a power line down a ways back and we had to wait for the crew to move it."

Fortunately, the rain had stopped, so we were able to get JB's luggage from the back and give the crew access to the spare tire. They had to block off the right lane and move our car far enough from the swampy soaked side of the road in order to be able to safely jack up the vehicle and make the repair. In less than 20 minutes, we were roadworthy again and heading back on our way home.

Both of us were quiet as we drove off. With no one else there, I was acutely aware of JB. I was toying with the idea of apologizing for getting so personal during my sleep, but just as I was opening my mouth to speak, JB chimed in, "About the sleeping arrangement. Can we just forget about that and assume it was nothing more than a need to get comfortable?"

I was relieved that, from his tone, he didn't seem offended. He spoke rather quietly. Like he was a little embarrassed about it, but then again so was I. I merely nodded, keeping my eyes looking forward, not daring to glance his way. For some reason I had a yearning for cinnamon apples and vanilla ice cream.

Still a little awkward from what happened while sleeping, I suggested we listened to music. For the next half hour, both of us acted like we were in a Karaoke Bar singing at the top of our lungs to Michael Jackson and Super Junior. Since my Korean sucked and his mastery of English pronunciation was less than perfect, we just laughed when the other made a mistake. He almost choked at one point when he said that I said a rude word by mistake and that he would just have to teach me some Korean. I wasn't sure when he planned on doing that time wise, but I was strangely open to the idea.

Finally, I was able to get a cell signal. I pulled over and called my mom to reassure her we were alright. I expected we would get home in another hour and a half, and let her know we both really needed showers, a change of clothing, and food in a bad way.

To include JB, I reported that, "Mom's made bulgogi and Jasmine rice. She said something about knowing you don't like Western food that much, so will indoctrinate you slowly."

"What does that 'indoc...' word mean?" he asked.

"It means we are going to force you to eat Western food so you learn to like it! It's not the only thing you will have to experience. Jinyoung is going to love me! I'm going to make you read Harry Potter to build up your vocabulary and conversation skills."

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw JB flinch and stiffen. Did he really hate Western food that much or was it Harry Potter? To soften things a bit, I added, "Learning a language with exposure to movies, books, and interactions with others will make you most fluent in speaking, reading, and understanding what others are saying. We start tomorrow night when you'll meet my best friends. They know you're coming, but are sworn to secrecy. They can be trusted to keep your being here confidential. I don't trust many people, but I would trust these people with my life. We get together at least every Friday night, watch anime, Dr. Who, music videos, and play board games."

"So hanging out with these people will be part of my training too?" I was asked.

"Sure. How else will you learn colloquial – common – expressions? You're going to get an earful from my brother, Daniel, as well. Mom says he's a lot like Jackson. He's a little chatter box and has no off switch. If you like Minecraft, you'll be his new best friend!"

"So what are the names of your friends?" JB inquired. "It will help me if learn them before we meet. Also, tell me a little about them too, would you?"

Though I am usually rather quiet, ask me about my friends or favorite fandoms, and if I'm in the right mood, I become a totally different person. I launched into talking about my friends.

"My best friends are a group of misfits, like me. They accept me for who I am. All my weirdness, quirkiness, and all. They understand sarcasm is my second language. They never judge me. We call ourselves the 'Chus'. It sounds like the word 'chews', like in eating, but spelled differently. It's kind of short hand. It comes from asking 'what are you doing' quickly. When you say it fast, it sounds like 'What chews doing?' Get it?"

JB nodded. He really did understand way more English than he ever let on. It would be interesting to see him progress and gain as much confidence with English as he has with music and dancing.

Crossing his arms and turning slightly towards me in his seat, JB prompted, "Keep going. Tell me their names and something about them. I hate being unprepared."

For the next half hour or so I regaled him with stories of my friends. I told him about Lori, her 6 month old son Mickey, and her husband Donny. I described Hailey, as a cinnamon bun, all sweetness and goodness. I explained she recently graduated and was attending college to become a nurse since she could no longer do gymnastics competitively due to an injury.

Then there was Marie, who would soon be moving to a different state to start university on a full ride scholarship because of her gymnastics. Marie joined the group through her association with Hailey when they were in the same gymnastics team. I explained that my friends were of all ages and that the two youngest, Sally and Emily were like little sisters to me and just entering high school.

I offered that we all shared the love of many different fandoms and enjoyed writing fanfiction and drawing, with the hope of creating out own webtoon in the near future.

Finally, I told him about Nate. I thought for sure he and Nate would get along well, but JB looked a little tense as I began describing my friend who was working as a manager for McDonalds to help pay his way through college. He wanted to be a Psychiatrist.

I described Nate to him as having light brown hair that was usually died jet black, dark blue, or some other funky color. He was skinny, tall, and lanky, and was a musician. I also revealed that he twirled fire to music and that we had been instant friends from the moment we met two years ago. We'd both been in the same college English class, though we'd been merely sophomores in high school. The professor was the instructor from hell and we bonded over our mutual fear of him. The difference was that I could write and I pulled an A in the class, while Nate, who was dyslexic, struggled to get a C.

"Oh, and Hailey and Nate are dating," I added.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **JB** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

I was glad Sharay didn't say anything about the sleeping position. Maybe she thought she had initiated it while she was out? I wasn't going to correct her if that was her assumption. Best not to go there. Let it be and move on.

Singing in the car not only passed the time, but I found her voice to be rather pleasant. Her Korean wasn't nearly as good as I initially thought it would be, but that just gave me an excuse to offer to teach her. I was sure she would figure out that I had ulterior motives, but she seemed oblivious to my machinations.

She was very glad to finally talk with her mom. From what I could gather, they were very close. Although I didn't want this time alone with Sharay to end just yet, the thought of a hot shower and food upon arrival sounded pretty great. I smiled at the thought of Korean food, but wasn't so sure about this indoctrination into Western food. I guess I'd just have to deal with it.

When Sharay mentioned Jinyoung was going to love her, my temper flashed before I could quickly get it under control. I had forgotten that she'd said she liked all the members, and that I was the only one not on her bias list. Why did I feel jealous because of that? I was here to learn English. Nothing more. Still the thought of her liking Jinyoung and the others more than me, and worse them liking her back, didn't settle well.

When she started talking about her friends the 'Chus', she became very animated. I was looking forward to meeting them all, until she started talking about Nate. Damn. That same feeling that I had when she mentioned Jinyoung surged through me again. I barely heard what she was saying about him. Something about hair color, music, fire spinning, and bad at English. I was determined to be better than him at the English, as I was sure I was better at music and had no plans to twirl fire anytime soon. Maybe Bboying would be a viable substitute.

"Oh, and Hailey and Nate are dating," I heard her say. YES!!!!! Maybe this Nate and I would get along; after all we had a common interest in music. God I was fickle.

I really needed to focus on my job here. Learn English fluently, speak with an American accent, be able to communicate in most any situation, and avoid the pitfalls of slang that had tripped us up in the past. I didn't need a girl on my mind or in my life. Not only was I busy with our schedule, which left no time for dating anyone, she was five years younger than I was and didn't even have me on her bias list.

Maybe I needed rest. Maybe I was still off kilter because of JYP sending me here with little to no notice. Maybe that was all this was and nothing more. I'm sure with the hours of English training I was going to get here a day, plus keeping up with 4-5 additional hours of singing and dance practice, I would have no time to even flirt with the idea of this girl. Maybe.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

"Sorry about the rough beginning," my mom was saying to JB. "I've set you up in Daniel's room and you'll have the adjoining bathroom to yourself. I've placed fresh towels in there for you. Why don't you clean up and get into something comfortable. Dinner will be ready as soon as you are."

 

As JB bowed his head in greeting, our Great Dane, Lunk, came barreling up to him and planted a soft, albeit wet, kiss right on his face while having all four feet still firmly planted on the ground. The look of surprise on JB's face was priceless. I must say though, for a cat person, he seemed quite comfortable with this 160 pound mass of puppy that instantly saw this Asian giant as his new best friend.

"What's his name? He reminds me of Yugyeom!"

My brother Daniel was going to be sleeping on the hide-a-bed sofa in the play room while JB would be staying in his room. The play room had French doors and my mom reasoned that JB needed the privacy more than Daniel did. Fortunately, my brother was easy going and flexible. I saw him help JB get his suitcases into his room and offer to show how the shower worked. I grabbed some clean clothes and dashed into my parent's bathroom to shower without a word. I really needed to clean off in a bad way.

As I was walking to the bathroom, I hear my mom call out, "Both of you get your dirty laundry in the wash when you are done. If you leave them, they will stink up the whole house."

Finishing my shower, I climbed into my favorite sweat pants and oversized sweat shirt and came out to the kitchen. As usual, I brushed my hair but didn't bother blow drying it.

I came out into the kitchen just as JB was arriving as well. His hair was also wet and he too was wearing sweat pants and a baggy sweatshirt. As we moved closer to one another, I could smell a hint of spice, and that thought of apples and cinnamon came to mind again. Had that been his scent that made me think of that earlier?

"You guys dress the same way," Daniel noted. "Better watch your sweatshirts JB or Sharay will likely snag them."

"Oh shut up," I responded. "I have no intention of stealing his clothes."

At this, JB spoke up and offered, "She can if she wants. I don't mind. Also, would you all mind calling me Jaebeom. JB is my stage name and, though I'll answer to it, my friends call me by my given name."

Whoa. I had been thinking of him as JB this whole time. It was going to take some work to shift my thinking. In a way, thinking of him as a friend rather than as the leader of GOT7 was a little less intimidating, or was it. At least I hadn't called him JB at any point. Actually, I hadn't called him anything. Okay. Jaebeom it is. I'd have to remember that, especially when introducing him to the Chus.

Just then my dad walked in the door. "Hey everyone. Sorry I'm late." Turning to JB – no – Jaebeom, he said, "Welcome. Make yourself at home. I hear you had an adventure on the alley. I'm Sam by the way."

Dinner was uneventful. Guess mom's bugolgi and rice were good, as Jaebeom ate quite a bit. He took the time to show us how to properly use chopstick and thanked us for making him feel so welcome. For dessert we had some ice cream and mom explained the training schedule to him.

"Tomorrow I'll let you sleep in. When I test your auditory processing skills, specifically with English sounds, I want you at your best. I can make anyone look stupid if they're sleep deprived or hungry. Sharay likes to make fried chicken for breakfast. Will that work for you or do you have other preferences? We didn't get a chance to cover those types of things with your CEO."

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

Walking in the front door of Sharay's house I was greeted by her mom (TJ), brother Daniel, and a very humongous dog. If I hadn't needed a bath already, I would have after the particularly wet kiss I got on my face from the gentle giant of a puppy. For some reason he reminded me so much of Yugyeom, and that made me more comfortable with him than I usually am with dogs.

I was thankful for Daniel letting me use his room and helping me with my luggage. It was a good thing TJ suggested he show me how to use the shower, as the controls were different from anything I had seen before.

As I headed off to clean up, I noticed Sharay grab some clothes from her room and go in the other direction to clean up. She was back in silent mode again, barely acknowledging my presence.

The shower felt great. I let the hot water pour down me and I stalled for a bit working out the kinks in my back. I could only imagine how knotted up I would have felt had I not shifted sleeping positions in the car. That got me to thinking about Sharay. I turned the water temperature down a bit cooler and quickly shifted my focus to scrubbing off the sweat and washing my hair.

As I walked into the dining area, Sharay was coming out of the master bedroom. I smiled to myself, as I noted we both had wet hair and oversized sweat shirts and sweat pants. Seriously? Someone who wouldn't complain about my casual attire! I smiled inwardly to myself only to snap out of my thoughts when I heard Daniel warn me that his sister might steal my shirts if I wasn't careful. Hmm. That would not be unwelcome. I could almost imagine how she would look.

At the point Daniel called me JB, I reflected that Sharay had never once said my name. I wanted to make sure that there was as little distance between us as possible, so I responded to his comment about my shirts and my name by saying, "She can if she wants. I don't mind. Also, would you all mind calling me Jaebeom. JB is my stage name and, though I'll answer to it, my friends call me by my given name."

As if on cue, Lunk, let out a deep WOOF and the front door opened. In walked a man who I presumed was Sharay's father. He gave his wife a kiss, shoving the dog aside who was trying to get some extra attention, and greeted me warmly.

Sam was in his late 50's with salt and pepper hair. I had briefly been told that he was a physician so wondered if he worked at a hospital given how late it was for him to only be returning home at this time. I guess I would learn more as the days passed.

Dinner was great. The Jasmine rice was cooked perfectly and the bulgoli was delicious. I hadn't realized just how hungry I had been, though I wouldn't pass up that beef jerky experience for anything.

TJ went over the schedule for the next day and suggested we all get some rest. It was going on midnight and we would be starting at about 10am. We all said our goodnights and I headed to Daniel's room, but not before TJ told me what I could expect for breakfast.

Fried chicken for breakfast! I thought I was in heaven when I heard those words. If this was exposing me to Western food, I thought I could handle it. And this was Sharay's preferred food! How perfect was that.

Before turning in, I sent a quick text to JYP letting him know I arrived safely. I also sent a quick one to Jinyoung following up the note I had hastily left on the refrigerator in the dorm.

_"Jinyoung-ah. Sorry about not getting with you before leaving. You know how JYP is when he gets a plan. Can't get into details. He swore me to secrecy. You know how he likes messing with us like this. My phone will be off most of the time, so if you need to reach me, try texting. No promises on how long it will take me to get back with you. I'm going to be slammed with work. Tell the others to behave while I'm gone or I will get them when I return, assuming you haven't murdered them in the meantime. 재범_

As I lay in bed reflecting on the past 24 hours, my mind went to the girl with the green eyes. I sighed deeply. I was definitely reading too much into everything. So what if she liked over-sized sweat shirts and fried chicken. That didn't mean this was some omen or anything. I was just tired and, well, being a guy. I'd probably see things, and her, in a different light come morning.

 

 


	4. Blue Cookies and Tatoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intensive English training begins. Jaebeom learns about personal space and meets the Chus. He also discovers the joy of blue chocolate chip cookies. He's threaten and given advice by one of the Chus that may prove to be invaluable.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

I was so tired I fell straight to sleep after dinner. My dreams were chaotic though as I swirled through marsh grass and smell the sweet scent of cinnamon.

I woke up at about 9am to Lunk asking to be let out and started making some oven fried chicken. There was some left over rice too that I thought Jaebeom (yes I got it right this time) would like.

"That smells great!" I heard from just over my shoulder and I nearly jumped through the roof.

"What the...You scared me to death. Don't creep up on me like that."

Jaebeom just smiled in apology and leaned in closer sniffing the chicken. At least I thought he was sniffing the chicken until he said, "Apples and vanilla go well with cinnamon," and turned around and left me just standing there with my mouth open. He had to be messing with me.

After eating and getting ready, we all headed to my dad's office. We explained to Jaebeom that Dad/Sam is an M.D. who works with people who have been severely injured and are in pain. As such, many can't make it into the office in the morning, so he works later in the day and has tons of paperwork to catch up on after the day is done. We also let him know that training would take place in that office. I would be working with him on vocabulary, communication skills, and things like that when I wasn't doing school. My mom would be covering the retraining of his brain to hear the sounds in the English language. Both of us would be addressing spelling, sentence structure, and other "fun" stuff like that.

Daniel had the easy job. He just had to do the school work Mom prepared for him. Since we home school, we school year round but do a lighter schedule in the summer. Since Daniel was just going into 8th grade, he usually was able to crank through all his work quickly and regularly finished in about 4 hours. After that, he was able to then play on Minecraft to his heart's content. As he was already ahead in studies for his age, and read like a maniac, he was given this leeway.

Our days would be long while training Jaebeom, so we brought Lunk with us to the office as well. He loved going to the office, as there were a few patients who gave him all kinds of loving. Leaving him home alone for 8 hours would have been too much for him to bear. We'd done this often enough in the past that he was familiar with the routine.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

Four hours into this testing and I was exhausted. I hadn't worked this hard in ages. My brain felt like my body had during my trainee days. I was frustrated as well, as I knew there were sounds I just couldn't hear clearly. It was like I was listening to the world through water and mud. Trying to grasp the pronunciation was even more of a challenge. My tongue and lips just didn't want to cooperate. I hoped this stage wouldn't last long.

"Don't worry," TJ said as if reading my mind. "In a couple of days you'll wonder why things were ever a challenge. When it comes to your mouth, the brain tells the muscles what to do, just like when you are learning a new dance routine. We'll work one piece at a time and then start putting them all together. It'll go fairly fast. I have confidence, not only in you, but because I have done this with numerous other people as well and it always works. Tomorrow will be a half day, and Sharay will work with you on vocab, conversation, and reading after the formal training session."

We found out that I struggled hearing individual sounds and pronouncing almost everything. I was extra horrible with the sounds /v/, /a/, /z/, /x/, /th/, /sh/, and anything with the /r/ or /l/ sounds in it. I was amazed that there was so much to learn when it came to the placement of my tongue, the shape of my lips, and other nuances necessary to make the words not sound like I had a thick Korean accent.

TJ had me use a mirror to see my mouth placement, a Q-tip to rub against my gums so I could focus the expulsion of air when making certain sounds, and a phone like device fashioned from some PVC plumbing pipe so I could hear my own voice without background interference or distortion. It was a variation of the ear pieces we use for hearing our voices when signing.

We finally took a lunch break, and started right back up again. After about four hours of evaluation we launched right in with the actual retraining of my brain. Everything we did once the training sessions began required keeping a beat to a metronome. I was required to react and respond on beat every other second. TJ was relentless. Everything about the process made sense. I just needed to work it. I could see the correlation to dance practice and really appreciated what we had gone through as trainees. They had used a similar approach; they just didn't know they were training our brains in addition to our bodies and voices.

At least I could keep a beat, or so I thought. When I had to try something unfamiliar and keep a beat at the same time, I seemed to only be able to do one thing or the other. Who knew something that seemed so easy could be so difficult. I knew I had to take this approach back and have it used for teaching foreign trainees how to speak Korean. It would just need to be modified. Maybe Sharay would help with this.

By 4pm I was exhausted and all of us, except for Sam who had more paperwork to complete, left for home. The Chus were expected at 6:30 and we needed to grab a bite to eat and Sharay said something about baking.

"Go lie down for a bit until dinner," TJ told me."You worked really hard and your brain needs a rest."

I didn't need to be told twice. Between the work and the time change, I was wiped out. I think I fell asleep while I was in the process of lying down. In any event, I was sound asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke to the most delicious smell ever. I quickly freshened up and proceeded to the kitchen. TJ was just setting the table with the help of Daniel. Sharay was in the kitchen doing something by the stove while softly singing Japanese to something I recognized. Wait! Japanese? I didn't know she spoke Japanese!

"You speak Japanese?" I asked. But got no response, so I tapped her on the shoulder thinking maybe she hadn't heard me.

Sharay's reaction was different than I had expected. I thought I might startle her, like I had this morning when I spoke to her when she was making the chicken, but instead she turned around and gave me a look like she was ready to kill. What had I done?

"Sorry," I murmured, retreating a bit. "I didn't mean to make you angry. I was just trying to get your attention. Umm. Yeah right. I didn't know you speak Japanese."

By this point I was floundering. I wasn't sure how someone could make me feel both so comfortable and so off balance all at the same time.

"I'm not angry and I don't...speak Japanese that is. I'm just singing what I hear," she said quickly, tapping her headphones, and turning back around to finish what she was doing, but not before I saw her face relax a bit and turn a bit pink.

Daniel pulled me aside and in a whisper said, "Don't mind my sister. She's like that. If you touch her when she can't see you or hear you coming, her brain sometimes registers even a gentle tap as something way more forceful. It's like her brain amplifies the signal. Don't take it personally. Just approach her from the front and you'll be fine. It's called sensory defensiveness. The opposite is sensory seeking. You may know people like that. They always have to touch things and never give you personal space. It's like their signals are dampened. They're the opposite side of the same coin."

I had to remember this about her, and that last bit brought Jackson to mind and made me reflect on how I often responded to him. Things to ponder. Seems like I might learn more here than just English.

Dinner was a gastronomical delight. Maybe they were easing me into Western cooking. TJ had made some meatloaf with BBQ sauce on it. I could taste the garlic, onions and black pepper in the meat. There was something else, but I would have to ask about it at another time when I wasn't busy shoving food in my mouth. That training had made me hungry.

The BBQ sauce was sweet and spicy. We had baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, and cheese. I discovered that Sharay had been steaming broccoli in garlic water when I had approached her before. It was delicious. Steamed just the right amount of time in the garlic water made is taste sweet.

After eating, Daniel got up and began clearing the table. Everyone seemed to have a plan and so I stood to help out, not quite sure what to do.

"Though we have a dishwasher," Daniel offered, "we wash them by hand, as it is faster." He continued, "I dry and put away while Sharay washes."

"This would be a good chance for you to do an activity called rapid naming rapid recognition," chimed in TJ. "Everything can be a learning experience and we can determine what vocabulary you need to add to your repertoire. Just say any words you know in English for the items you touch or deal with. Like bowl, plate, cabinet, and so on."

TJ addressed her daughter, "Sharay, keep tabs of the words he doesn't know, tell him what they are as you go along, and add those to your vocab list for him. Okay?"

I turned to Sharay and asked, "Can I help by writing the words down so we know what they are?"

She laughed at me instead and said, "You're not getting out of helping that easily. Pick up a dish towel and help Daniel dry. He's such a slow poke on a good day, and I get slowed down waiting."

I was a little confused about how she was going to know what words to add if we didn't keep a list as we went along, when Daniel provided the answer.

"She has a gifted memory. Doesn't forget a thing. Watch out though. She holds grudges forever since she never forgets a single infraction."

I shelved that bit of information and grabbed a dish towel. I didn't want to add to the list of things she would hold against me, since I realized that I had already racked up quite a number.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

I nearly jumped out of my skin. The tap on my shoulder felt like I was being thumped by a sledge hammer. Turning, thinking it was Daniel; I fixed Jaebeom with a murderous glare. Oops. I quickly spun around hoping he hadn't seen my expression. How embarrassing. I reflected that I really needed to work on controlling my anger, even with my brother. This guy was going to think I was the worst person ever. I pretended not to hear what Daniel told him, but was secretively happy that he explained my reaction in such a casual way that it didn't make me sound like the freak I often believed I was.

Dinner was peaceful, and it seemed that Jaebeom enjoyed the meal. I didn't have the heart to tell him that this was probably not really Western food since my mom grew up all over the world and developed her own sense of cooking based on a compilation of all her experiences. Never mind. It wasn't Korean food, so it was broadening his palate one way or the other. No sense pointing this out.

During dishes, I learned that Jaebeom's receptive vocabulary was way stronger than his expressive vocabulary. He was very forthright about telling me when he didn't know a word, when he understood it because of the context but couldn't have come up with it on his own, and when he was familiar with something. I kept a mental note of these things and decided I needed to jot them down later on so I could better monitor his progress; but for now I could just use my memory.

Where I was thankful to Daniel earlier for explaining the whole sensory defensiveness thing, I sure wished he would shut up when he told Jaebeom I kept grudges. I did NOT. Okay. So I did. But he still should have kept his mouth shut. I hated it when private stuff about me was shared with people.

"And you just added one more thing to the list of things I hold against you, Daniel! Stop sharing things about me!" I yelled at him. I did laugh as I said this realizing that I was just proving his point and had been caught.

With the dishes done in double time thanks to Jaebeom, I set about milling some wheat to make some chocolate chip cookies. "What's that?" Jaebeom asked me, looking at the wheat and the machine I had pulled down from the cabinet.

"Oh, I'm milling some flour," I told him. "I want to bake some cookies and they taste better when you make everything from scratch. Way better than with processed flour at any rate. Do you like chocolate chip cookies?"

Amazingly, Jaebeom was helpful in the kitchen. I asked for help retrieving things from the fridge and the cabinet, and the process went smoothly. Usually I kick everyone out of the kitchen while I'm baking, as they tend to get under foot. He seemed to know how to keep out of my way and would quickly and smoothly shift in anticipation of my movements. I marveled at this and chalked it up to his dancing skills.

At 6:30pm there was a loud bang at the door which set Lunk off into fits of woofing. Without waiting for anyone to open the door, Hailey barged in.

"Hey! I'm Hailey," she said as she came in, dodged a wet kiss from Lunk, and made her way into the kitchen and offered her hand to Jaebeom.

"You must be JB," she smiled with her cherub like face, showing him her infectious grin.

"He prefers Jaebeom," I corrected her.

Everyone loved Hailey. She was a ball of sunshine, always cheerful, and her laugh was contagious. I was thankful that she wasn't shy with strangers, unlike me. Also since her mom was from Hungary, she wasn't a stranger to foreigners or people who didn't speak English, or at least didn't speak it well. Her mom still had a strong Hungarian accent after having lived here for years.

"Hello, Hailey," Jaebeom responded. "Sharay told me a little about you. I would have recognized you instantly from her description."

Hailey thumped me on the shoulder, but since I saw it coming, I barely reacted unlike before with the tap Jaebeom had given me. I think he noticed the difference in my response. Seems he was listening and understood what Daniel had told him. Smart boy.

"What have you been telling him?" she demanded.

"Just that you're a little cinnamon bun," I replied.

"Oh. That's okay then. By the way Marie called and she won't be able to make it tonight. She has a gymnastics meet this coming week. I'm not sure how much time she'll have to come down from St. Pete over the summer between competitions and getting ready to head out of state for college. She did promise she'd make it down at least once before heading off though. Maybe we can Snapchat or Skype with her a bit later."

I could only nod, because before we could continue our conversation the door flew open and in came Sally and her little brother Alex. Alex, who was a year younger than Daniel, mumbled "Hi" and darted off to the playroom. He and Daniel had a Minecraft activity planned for the night. As the door was closing it opened again and Lori entered with her little boy Mickey.

This was when things got a little crazy. Lunk, was beside himself. His favorite little person had arrived. He squeaked and wriggled. Drool and spit was flying everywhere, and his tail was wagging so hard that if one were to stand next to it you would surely get a bruise. Oh and that was the dog. The baby had the same reaction, except for the tail part. It was a total love fest.

It took a few minutes for things to settle down and in the meantime Lori and Jaebeom had exchanged greetings. We learned Danny wasn't going to make it until later, and maybe not even then, as he was delayed with work. Just as I heard this, my phone pinged and I got a message that read, "Can't make it tonight. See you in church tomorrow. You need to introduce me to JB then. I can't believe I'm missing tonight. I am so fan-girling over the chance to meet JB!!!! My mom is killing me by not letting me come, but we have my grandparent over tonight. Em."

I shot a quick text back letting her know he prefers to be called Jaebeom, and that we would see her at service tomorrow night.

I looked up from my phone to let everyone know Emily wouldn't make it either. I left out the fangirl part. Maybe it was just as well she couldn't make it. Sally was already giggling and turning funny colors every time she looked at Jaebeom. She barely managed to say "Hello" without flapping her arms and giggling hysterically when he introduced himself to her. It was going to be a long night.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

I didn't realize how many common words I understood but couldn't come up with on my own. I still couldn't figure out how Sharay was going to keep track of all the vocabulary, but decided to trust that TJ knew her daughter or would have made plans to have them written down.

Helping Sharay in the kitchen was fun. She was a wiz when it came to baking. She never once stopped to consult a recipe and deftly milled the wheat, cracked eggs, measure, stirred, and beat the ingredients.

"So what color would you like your cookies?" she inquired.

"Color?" I questioned.

"Sure. If you're going to have homemade cookies you might as well have some fun and make them a little more interesting. Just so you know, some colors do come out better than others."

I was pleasantly surprised that she offered me the option to decide, and when I suggest' "How about blue?" she graced me with a smile.

"Okay Percy. Blue it is!" she said before explaining that in "Percy Jackson'' his mom made him blue food all the time.

As the cookies were in the oven there was another loud bang at the door and this short round cherub looking girl burst in. She was a bundle of energy and virtually barreled through the house, past Lunk, and introduced herself to me.

Hailey was a cinnamon bun. It was an apropos description of her. I was happy to have Sharay clarify what she should call me. That made it easier on me, as I was not as comfortable speaking up in front of others as I had been with Sharay.

Before long, more people were coming in. There was Lori and her baby, and Sally and her brother. The brother quickly headed off to find Daniel, so I didn't really catch his name. He hadn't been mentioned on the drive from the airport, so it flew past me during introductions.

The interaction between baby Mickey and Lunk was hysterical. I was surprised at how calm Lori was when that huge creature approached her infant. I was instantly reminded of the interactions between Yugyeom and Bambam before Bammy hit his growth spurt.

Sally was apparently one of the younger ones and, based on her reaction when I introduced myself, I judged her to be a bit boy crazy. I was relieved when I learned that the other teen wouldn't make it. One would probably be enough. Good thing Sharay had warned me she could react like this.

As the oven buzzer sounded, Sharay hopped up and returned to the kitchen. I followed to help out and get a look at how these cookies turned out. I couldn't wait to taste them. The smell was beyond description. And they really were blue!

As we approached the kitchen, I heard Sally whisper something to Lori. Lori in turn chirped. "Sally wants to know if JB has a girlfriend!" to which Sally thumped her and turned red.

I responded playfully, "Anyone who bakes me blue cookies has the job, if she wants it."

"Not likely," the resident patisserie responded.

"You're not on her bias list'" Lori and Hailey said in unison, followed by much laughter. It was a matter of fact statement, but it stung to hear it. Sharay merely nodded in agreement. How many times had I been reminded of this fact now? I was losing track.

I shrugged it off as best I could and, only because of a loud WOOF, noticed that a tall lanky guy had arrived. He had apparently shown up during this exchange, as he looked at me with pity in his eyes.

Nate was not as tall as I was. Well he was about my height, but his posture was even worse than mine, so I appeared taller at any rate. He was as skinny as Mark, but his shoulders weren't quite as broad. As described by Sharay, he had ear piercings and blue black hair. Hailey immediately jumped up and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Nate was quiet and observant of his surroundings. I was curious if he picked up that my tone from earlier wasn't all jest. I wondered if there was more in common between him and Mark other than just their build. If so, I would have to be on my guard, as Mark was always the one who could read me. The only one who could pick up on my nonverbal cues faster was Jinyoung.

Introductions were made again with his arrival. The TV was turned on and some show was tuned in through the computer, but no one seemed to pay attention to it, but rather, a relaxed camaraderie played out before me.

Sharay had left the kitchen after transferring the cookies to a platter and informed everyone they were ready. After being told to help myself, I found out that I had a new addiction that was even better than strawberry milk. I'd have to be careful or I would pack on the pounds. Maybe I would go for a run in the morning, since I hadn't exercised in the last few days. This thought crossed my mind as I helped myself to a third blue chocolate chip cookie.

Nate had gone over to the keyboard located on the wall next to the front door and had begun to tinker around a bit. I cautiously approached, not wanting to come across too brazen.

"Can I join you?" I asked. "Sharay told me you were a musician. Maybe we can have some fun collaborating a bit."

"I'd like that, though I'm not a professional like you," Nate responded.

I found his humility belied his skill, as we began messing around with some riffs. After some time, we had the start of a melody going and we decided to take a break for some more cookies, but not before I asked for some paper and wrote out a few notes so we wouldn't forget out progress.

"So if we come up with something while I'm here, can I use it on the next album if I give you credit?" I asked.

"Seriously?" Nate responded. "That would be awesome. You should have Sharay help you with the lyrics though. I suck at that and she's great. It could be your first all English song."

I liked that idea. I really liked that idea. On so many levels.

Nate said he would get with me later in the week when my training schedule was a little more settle, so we could coordinate some time to get together again. I was excited to think that I would get some composing done too while I was here.

He also said that we needed to make the most of my time here and suggested that we had to have a least one beach day, a chance to go do some paint ball, archery, and some fire spinning. He wanted some tips on b-boying from me. He even mentioned that TJ used to be a windsurfing instructor and he had been hinting at getting her to teach him how to windsurf and my presence might just make it happen. I told him I was game for anything, but my priority was learning English. I was also very clear that I would just defer to watching him fire spin and not try it. I think JYP would kill me if he knew I even thought about doing something like that, much less actually try it. In any case I was really excited by the prospect of interesting things to do.

Somewhere along the way, bean bag chairs had been moved from the play room to the living room. I found myself on one next to Sharay who was playing with baby Mickey. Her countenance was totally different with him. She was relaxed and comfortable. I could see that though she gently guided him, she let him take the lead for the most part. She allowed him to explore and experiment with his surroundings. She was just there to keep him out of danger and encourage him when he couldn't immediately master a task. She didn't speak in baby talk either, but her tone and intonation were encouraging. At one point, he became fascinated with the necklace she was wearing and kept crawling up and grabbing at it.

I was apparently mesmerized by her interactions with Mickey when I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Nate. Damn. Had he noticed?

"Yes?" I asked.

"Come in the kitchen and let's make some popcorn," Nate prompted. Apparently he had something to tell me and didn't want to say it is front of the others.

Lamely, knowing I had probably been caught by Nate gawking at Sharay, I excused myself from the rest of the Chus and followed him to the kitchen. Fortunately, Sharay was so engrossed in playing with Mickey, I think she hadn't noticed me. That was both good and bad.

With the TV going, and the hum of the microwave, Nate seemed pretty confident that our conversation would be inaudible by those in the living room.

"Do you have any tattoos?" he asked bluntly.

What a strange way to start a conversation. It was so out of the blue. Looking down I saw the black treble clef and base clef tattoos that he displayed by holding out his arms and turning his wrists upwards.

"No. Not yet. I had been thinking about it. Why?" I responded.

"Well. Don't. Not if you want any chance with her. This is the fasted way to guarantee getting friend-zoned for life."

I was confused. I thought Nate was dating Hailey, yet the look on his face showed something like loss and regret.

I decided not to play dumb and deny that I was interested. "How....? I mean...exactly why...?" I couldn't seem to find the right words to express what I wanted to say. Fortunately Nate seemed to understand.

"If you ask Sam you'll get a huge lecture about tattoos creating micro scars that impact the fascia. I know these are technical terms. Sorry about that. Basically, it can decrease motion and healing of your body in the long run and over time. There's a more technical explanation than that. Ask Sam. He's dead set against tattoos because of the work he does. He sees patients with tattoos having way more problems that those who don't."

Nate continued, "Shortly before meeting Sharay I decided to get these tattoos. My mom had okayed it for my seventeenth birthday. I even designed them myself. I was headstrong and determined that I knew better. Despite a half hour lecture by Sam, and Sharay clearly showing contempt for tattoos, four months later I still went and got them. To this day she slaps them every time she sees me. Did you catch when she did that? It's been the same every time for over a year now."

I briefly recalled some interaction when they first approached one another but had been baffled by it. I'd thought maybe it was some kind of strange variation of a hi-five or fist bump.

The look on Nate's face was one of resignation. "Don't get me wrong, I was friend-zoned long before that. I think that I decided on the tattoos as my way of fooling myself into thinking I was the one who was rejecting her. Truth be told, I never had a chance. You however....." He trailed off.

I was torn. Torn between wanting more information and keeping my interest for Sharay at merely a suspicion on his part. Finally, I decided that since he probably already knew I was intrigued by her, I went for fulfilling my need for how to best navigate the waters.

"Okay. So no tattoos. But I'm not on her bias list," I offered weakly.

"Don't worry about that. Just focus on the key things she values the most. Loyalty, integrity, trustworthiness, humor, children, good work ethic, love of the Lord, love of learning, love of reading, and proper grammar." He laughed as he said the last three and acknowledged, "I blew it on those last three long before the tattoos. You, however, have an excuse for bad English grammar, for the time being. Don't blow it off. Oh and if you treat her badly in any way, make her cry or anything, you will have to answer to me as well as all the other Chus."

I merely nodded my head in appreciation. I wasn't sure what else to do or say. He basically was telling me to go after a girl he obviously cared for, maybe even considered as for a potential girlfriend at one time, and threatened me all in one go. At least I seemed to have an ally of sorts.

 

 


	5. Popcorn and Back Hugs

 

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

I had no idea what Nate and Jaebeom were talking about so intently in the kitchen. Maybe music? Maybe paintball, B-boying or fire spinning. That's what they had been talking about by the keyboard. Never mind. I knew they were getting along, so I turned my attention back to Mickey who was busy drooling on my necklace.

Jaebeom showed up and sat down next to me and reached for the baby while handing me the bowl of popcorn. Mickey happily went to him and immediately decided that the triple star earring dangling from Jaebeom's lobes looked like a nice toy. Catching on quickly, Jaebeom showed the little one his rings instead.

Haha that was a mistake. In moments Mickey had engulfed Jaebeom's rings and fingers in his gummy slobbery mouth and was busy sucking on them.

"I've never seen him do that before," I commented.

"That's because you hate wearing rings," Sally quipped. To Jaebeom she noted, "He does that to me all the time. You better take them off later and wash them well. His spit is like glue. You may even need to soak them or use some grease to get them off if you let it dry!" Apparently the novelty of me had worn off as she was not tittering when she said this. I was thankful of that, to say the least.

"Sharay, you'll have to wear a ring when you get married," chimed in Lori, "and give your own babies something to play with."

"Get married? Maybe, if I find the right guy. Babies? Definitely yes, if I'm married. Or I'll just adopt. Rings? Never!" I cried. "I refuse to wear a ring, at least on my finger. If I ever marry, the poor unfortunate soul will have to deal with me having the ring on a necklace instead of my hand."

At this Hailey jumped up and changed the computer setting to "The Little Mermaid" and Ursula's song about 'pour unfortunate souls' and we all launched into a bad rendition of the Sea Witch, followed by a Chu all-time favorite: Mulan's 'I'll Make a Man Out of You'."

 

I was thinking we had probably freaked out Jaebeom by this point, but when I looked over, he was laughing along with our singing and didn't seem to mind the baby sucking on his rings at all. I decided right then and there that he passed the Chu test of acceptability, though I didn't tell him and didn't plan to.

 

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

It was late by the time everyone had left. We had eaten all the cookies, gone through tons of popcorn, had spent the rest of the evening basically doing Karaoke. I was glad about that, as it was something I was comfortable with.

Sam came home during all the festivities, ate dinner, and he and TJ had called it a night. When Sally and Alex left to go home, they took Daniel with them for the night. Apparently, Sharay's church had services on Saturday evening as well as Sunday mornings, and we were going there in the afternoon after some additional training for me. Since Sally and Alex also attended the same church, Daniel was staying with them until then. They had planned some activity for the morning instead of Daniel getting stuck at the office while I was being trained. He really was an easy going and flexible kid.

Once everyone had left, Sharay started cleaning up all the plates and cups left scattered about by her friends. I moved the beanbag chairs into the playroom, grabbed a few remaining cups from over by the keyboard, and followed her to the kitchen.

With her back to me, she sighed as she looked at the mound of dishes which including the mixing bowls and cookie sheets.

"We can get this cleaned up in no time," I said grabbing a dish cloth and readying myself to the left of the sink. I was awarded with a smile and a thanks.

Sharay went to turn on some music while we worked. I asked if I could pick something out and she acquiesced. I plugged my phone into the speakers and scrolled through some options before settling on something I had recently composed.

I returned to the kitchen just as the song began and, since it was just the instrumental, I added the vocals. Sharay began washing as I sang and dried. Her head was tipped down to look at what she was doing, but I could see she was bobbing slightly to the music and had a small smile on her face. If she had looked up right then she would have seen me wearing one of the goofiest grins ever. I was positive she could hear the smile in my voice anyway.

After everything was cleaned up, I thought it best to head to bed so said a quick thank you again for the cookies and fun time. I received a quiet nod in return.

Reluctantly, I headed to Daniel's room, closed the door and readied myself for bed. After getting dressed for bed in shorts and a T-shirt, I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I noted that the house was silent and assumed everyone was asleep, including Sharay.

I found I was a bit thirsty from the popcorn but had forgotten to fill up the bottle of water for the side of my bed. I opened the door that lead directly into the dining room and headed to the kitchen. In the dim glow of computer light, I saw Sharay sitting in the big armchair by the front window. She was furiously typing something. Not wanting to disturb her, but afraid that she would be startled again, I called out, "Need any water? I was just filling up my water bottle."

She looked up, shook her head "No. Thanks anyway," and continued to type.

I approached her after filling up my water. I didn't walk quietly, as I wanted her to be aware of my presence. I also made sure to approach her from the front so she was more likely to see me in her peripheral vision.

"What're you working on?" I asked, still several feet away.

She looked up. Smiled, went back to typing and responded, "The words you need to work on from earlier. I thought I would down load them to paper so I didn't have to keep them stored in my memory overnight. Besides, you need the list too and so does my mom. Tomorrow we start building your word bank and flashcards. I expect you to master 45 new words a day. Minimum."

I was taken aback. She helped cook dinner, did the dishes, worked with me on vocabulary, baked cookies - blue cookies- entertained her friends, cleaned up after them, and still had the energy to work on my training items for tomorrow!

I thought about offering to help then thought better of it. I would probably just be in the way. Besides, these were words I didn't know. SMH. How would I help her with that?

"Well goodnight," I offered, trailing off.

As I turned to go, I heard her quietly call my name, "Jaebeom?"

I turned back. "Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" I asked, as I couldn't figure out why on earth she was thanking me. I should have been the one thanking her.

"For helping with the dishes, and the baking, and telling me the cookies were good. Usually everyone just eats and runs. I know they like my baking because there is rarely anything left, but it's been a while since anyone beside my family have actually said anything. I'm not complaining, but it was nice to have someone pitch in and clean up."

I was stunned. I did a quick rewind of the night and realized she was right. It was as though they just knew she would do all the work and expected it. I was glad I had told her the cookies were delicious rather than merely scarfing them down. I was also thankful I had offered to help out in the kitchen and with the clean up, realizing that she never asked me to help and probably wouldn't have.

At every turn this girl surprised me. Sometimes she seemed tough and formidable. Other times, like with baby Mickey and when it came to asking others for help, she was a total pushover.

I smiled at her and came over to the chair she was in. As I slowly and deliberately swung around behind her, she followed my movements. "Good," I thought to myself, "maybe she won't be startled."

I reached over the chair and gave her a gentle back hug and said quietly into her ear, "Your welcome. Just so you know, the pleasure was all mine. Don't stay up too much longer or I'll feel guilty if you're tired tomorrow."

With that, since I didn't trust myself, I let her go and bolted back to my room but not before first quickly and gently stroking her head and hair.

Closing the door, I rested against it and let out a deep sigh. I made a mental check list. I obviously had some strikes against me, but there were some positives.

**_In the negative column_ :**

_* She had to pick me up at the airport_

_* She got mad at me about the beef jerky/invasion of privacy (maybe double negative)_

_* I made her mad/scared by speaking to her and tapping her when she didn't expect it._

_* And the big one - I was not on her bias list (maybe another double negative)_

**_ Things in my favor: _ **

_* She was willing to stand up for me at the Chick-Fil-A_

_* I was not friend-zoned (yet)._

_* I had no tattoos (dodged that one)_

_* Got bonus points for helping with clean up_

_* Also got bonus points for complimenting her baking_

_* I had figured out how to give her a back hug without rejection_

_* I was able to pat/stroke her head without upsetting her_

The one thing that could go in both columns, depending upon whether she found out the truth or not, was the sleeping arrangement in the car - maybe she thinks she did it. What happens if she finds out it was me? Probably death by green-eyed laser beams.

As I crawled into bed, I realized a lot had happened over the past 30 hours. Tomorrow would be day two of my official training and I was looking forward to seeing what was in store.

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

Mom and Dad had already gone to bed, Daniel left with Alex and Sally, and the other Chus had left as well. Jaebeom stood up and looked at me as I was surveying the damage that was inevitable after a night with the Chus.

Clean up usually took a good hour, if I could get motivated; longer, if I procrastinated. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed a few plates and cups and headed into the kitchen. Much to my surprise, Jaebeom walked over to the keyboard and grabbed the glass and plate Nate had deposited there and a few other items strewn around the room and followed me to the kitchen.

Without a word, Jaebeom just followed along, scraping plates and setting them up on the side of the sink and offered, "We can get this cleaned up in no time," as he snagged a dish towel from the oven handle.

I went to set up some music to make the work go faster and Jaebeom asked if he could select something. Since he was being so helpful, I resisted the urge to remain in control and nodded my head giving him the go ahead. He set up his phone to play through the speakers. The music was purely instrumental, which I like, but then he started to sing.

When Jaebeom sang, he didn't belt it out. I could tell he was holding back to avoid disturbing my parents. His voice was still strong and clear. I wish I understood what the words meant, but for the time being I just enjoyed the moment. I could see what my mom found so appealing about his singing now. I guess I had been too distracted by the other members to focus on him. Besides, I tended to resist when people pushed me and I felt like my mom was shoving "JB" down my throat. I hated to admit it to myself that I may have to relent a bit and admit he was pretty perfect. After all, he was helping me with clean up and basically serenading me in the process. Not to mention how he loved on Mickey and the way he and Lunk got along. When dogs and babies like a person it realy means they are "good people."

We made short order of the cleanup and Jaebeom headed to bed. I quickly switched into a T-shirt and sweats for bed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and returned to the living room. I grabbed the laptop and sat down in an armchair to crank out the vocabulary words Jaebeom covered this evening that still needed work. In addition to the kitchen vocab, I included some from the evening's conversation that I wanted to double check with him. I selected those I thought were very colloquial or ones where I thought he may have looked a little quizzical.

I had all the lights out and, except from the glow from the laptop, it was dark. Besides the clicking of the keys on the keyboard, there was no noise, until I heard the door to Daniel's room open. I turned towards the sound and saw Jaebeom's silhouette in the moonlight.

Apparently, he had come out to get water and even offered to get me some. Wow! That was thoughtful. I declined, as I already had some by my side, and returned to the task at hand. I expected him to return straight away to his room after filling up his bottle, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw him approach and ask what I was working on.

I explained and set out my plan for enriching his vocabulary at a breakneck pace. He nodded after a while and said goodnight. As he was turning all I could think to do was call out to him.

"Jaebeom?" I questioned to get his attention once more. "Thanks," I offered when he asked what I needed.

This was so unlike me. I didn't usually initiate conversations that are personal, so when he wanted to know what I was thanking him for - he seemed quite baffled - I stumbled over my words and ended up spewing out a bunch of stuff about helping me out and all. I said I appreciated him saying he liked the cookies. What the heck was I doing? I stopped myself before adding that I really liked the solo concert. That would have been, well, a little too revealing. I'd gone far enough. Farther than I'd intended.

He paused ever so slightly and, just as I thought he would continue on to his room, he did a 180 and advanced towards me. Turning slowly he modified his vector so he came up more from behind me than to my side.

I wasn't expecting what he did next. He reach from behind, after making it clear to me that he would be drawing near (boy he was a fast learner), and gave me a gentle back hug, while quietly and softly near my ear he uttered, "Your welcome. Just so you know, the pleasure was all mine. Don't stay up too much longer or I'll feel guilty if you're tired tomorrow. "

He held me for the briefest of moments and then released me and turned to go, but not before giving me a pat, more like a stroke, to my head. He didn't say another word, and neither did I, as I didn't trust my voice not to break. He just turned and left to his room, closing the door behind himself.

I'm not sure how long it took me to get my wits about me again. Shaking the cobwebs, and thoughts of Jaebeom, from my head I pressed on and within another 15 minutes finished up the task at hand.

Shutting down the computer, I crept to my room in total darkness but for a little ambient light from the street lamp and moon pouring through my bedroom window. As I crawled into bed, I mulled over the evenings events. By the time I drifted off to sleep, it must have been half an hour after Jaebeom had gone to bed. Funny thing is, I could still feel his arms across me and the warmth of him against the side of my face as he spoke, brief though it had been.

I knew that I needed to focus on the task at hand - teaching him English as best we could in the six weeks he would be here. I vowed to be ruthless so that he could achieve the impossible in the limited time he had. For some reason, I felt compelled to see him exceed every expectation and demonstrate he was the best leader ever. As for my part in the process, I was bound and determined to give it, give him, my all.

 


	6. Running Partners

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

I woke at about 8am and walked into the kitchen only to spot Sam in the living room doing some stretches. He was dressed in shorts, a T-shirt, and tennis shoes.

“Are you off for a run?” I asked.

“I wish.” He responded. “I tend to walk these days as my knees aren’t what they used to be. You’re welcome to join me if you like. If you want a running partner, you’ll need to see if Sharay is game. Anytime Daniel’s here, he will always jump at the chance to go for a run, just be warned, he talks the entire time and never shuts up.

Sam chuckled as he made this last comment about his son. It was said with love and affection, and no sign of belittling the kid. I admired that, as I regularly struggled with Jackson’s incessant talking and often came across as overly critical which would lead to him feeling bad about himself.

“I’d love a running partner.” I glanced towards the closed door of Sharay’s room. “I just don’t know how rested she is. She was up later than I was working on my vocabulary list and I don’t know when she finally turned in.”

“There’s only one thing to do then,“ Sam said inclining his head towards his daughter’s room. “Rap on the door and poke your head in and ask her.”

I raised my eyebrows questioning the wisdom of this, but did as indicated.

KNOCK.KNOCK. KNOCK. No response. I looked back at Sam and he gave me a smile and a nod.

Opening the door, I could see Sharay sprawled out on her bed. She was sound asleep. Remembering how she was in the car I doubted calling her name or knocking on the door would accomplish much, but I called out, “Sharay? Want to go for a run?”

Nothing. Why was I not surprised? I turned as if to leave and caught Sam’s eye.

”Young man, you will have to be more assertive than that with my daughter. She sleeps like the dead and is strong-willed when awake. Being tentative will get you nowhere at best and potentially run over at worst. Go gently shake her and see if she stirs. Use your instincts. Imagine you are waking a hibernating bear.” At that he chortled, mostly to himself, at the picture. “Be gentle, but firm. Let’s see what you’ve got,” he challenged me.

Her father said this with a twinkle in his eye and a smile playing on his lips. I wasn’t sure if I was being set up or if he was trying to help. As I turned back and looked at Sharay, I made a decision and moved into the room, leaving the door ajar to avoid Sam suspecting I had ulterior motives.

Sharay?” I asked up close. Nothing. I bent over, not getting too close and repeated my question. The girl stirred ever so slightly. “Sharay? Would you be willing to go for a run with me? I don’t want to get lost in the neighborhood and really need to run so I can enjoy more of those fantastic blue cookies you bake.”

She stirred again. This time there was some vocalization. I doubt it was really anything in particular, but I was encouraged to continue.

”If you and your mom keep feeding me so well I’ll be a butterball in no time if I don’t get some exercise. 제발?” I implored. “Will you go for a run with me?”

Slowly, very slowly, Sharay opened her eyes. She had left the blinds to her window open last night and, though the view was blocked by a purple flowering Bougainville, sunlight streamed in and flashed off her green eyes. She blinked a few times as if trying to wake and get her bearings.

“What? What were you asking?” she croaked, her voice still not fully functioning.

She cleared her throat, rubbed her eyes and then she stretched. The girl stretched in a way I’ve only ever seen a cat stretch. It was slow, deliberate, and done in a way that showed she was feeling every muscle and tendon in her body wake from slumber.

Like Nora, when stretching, she was so focused on her motions that she was completely ignoring me. She locked her elbows and joined her hands together, stretching her shoulder muscles, taking her through a full range of motion to work out the kinks. I had this humorous thought that if I she had claws they would be out and kneading the air. She gave one final arch to her back, rolled her neck around, and cracked the knuckles in her hands by placing them against the side of her face in a very unladylike manner. I stifled my laughter.

“Would you be willing to go for a run with me? Your cookies are so good that I ate too many and have to burn off some calories. Until I know the area, I’m hesitating going on my own.” I tried giving her my best pathetic lost puppy look to invoke some sympathy. Instead she just laughed at me.

“Jaebeom, you are such a liar!” she blurted out.

“What did I lie about,” I asked, thinking that maybe I had pushed it a little bit too far by suggesting I would get lost when I could always bring my cell phone with me.

“You always claim that you are no good at aegyo! You are an expert. Pathetic?  True. But who could resist that face? Give me a minute to get ready and I’ll go with you. I could use a run too, after all six hours of driving the other day, about three hours stuck cramped in the car, and no exercise yesterday either, my body is screaming for some activity too. Besides it will help with your training. We can work on so vocabulary while we run too. Also, once we get to the office my mom will probably have you doing a lot of work on a mini trampoline, so it would probably be a good idea to warm up your muscles and have you stretch out and do some floor exercise beforehand.”

I just stood there staring at her. She was already talking about training! I wasn’t sure yet where a mini trampoline fit in here, but I guess I would be finding out.

“Would you mind? I need to get dressed!” she verbally prodded me to leave the room. So I turned and retreated to the living room, closing the door behind me.

“Well, you handled that admirably,” Sam said, as he stood up from having completed a set of pushups. “You can start out walking with me to stretch a bit and when you two are ready you can take off. Hope you’re fast. She’s pretty good.”

[II was beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into.

 

༺ ¤○•°  **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I heard and recognized Jaebeom’s voice asking me to go for a run. I was still quite tired and was struggling to overcome sleep paralysis.

Stretching slowly, I was able to wake up my body, though I knew the moment I spoke I sounded as groggy as I felt. I really needed to get some exercise and I hated running on my own. Since Daniel was gone I guess I had a new running partner for the day.

Once Jaebeom left the room I put on my running shorts, sports bra, loose Nimbus 2000 T-shirt, socks and running shoes. I then proceeded to my parent’s bathroom where I used the restroom, washed my face, and brushed my teeth.

I had mostly been wearing my hair in a Dutch braid since meeting Jaebeom, but decided that was too hot against my neck for running, so I took it down and put it up in a plain pony tail at the back of my head. This kept my hair off the nape of my neck and since, even in a pony tail, it was long enough to reach the bottom of my sports bra, I felt this was the best approach.

I’m fast at getting ready in the morning, once I actually get put of bed that is, so I was done in about five minutes. I headed to the kitchen to fill up a water bottle and grabbed two protein bars. I shoved one at Jaebeom stating, “I don’t want you to bonk*, so eat up. There is no way I am giving you a piggy back ride home if you crash from lack of food.” Turning, I perched on a bar stool to choke down my bar and gulp some water. Jaebeom followed my lead and did the same. When we were finished, we topped off our water bottles and were ready to head out.

We started off walking with my dad and kept with him for about two-quarters of a mile before starting into a slow jog. We had decided that three miles would be a good start, since we had been inactive for a while and didn’t want to overdo things. After a bit we picked up speed and began a proper run.

Jaebeom had strength in his legs, though they didn’t look any longer than mine. It occurred to me that his torso was definitely lengthier than mine, while I was all legs. Okay I didn’t have a short torso, but his seemed extra long by comparison. Probably why he was able to do body rolls so well and had torso strength for all that b-boying.

After several minutes of running, Jaebeom asked if we were going to work on some vocab as we ran and, with that, I started his first official vocabulary session using the rhythm of our running, rather that the metronome, to keep the pace of our work going.

I found running with Jaebeom to be great. By contrast, Daniel talked the WHOLE time and it was usually limited to Minecraft. Also he regularly petered out somewhere before I was ready to quit and he would just stop dead in his tracks and start walking home. Jaebeom was able to keep pace with me the whole way. Several times we check the comfort of the speed with each other and adjusted accordingly.

When we were half a mile from home, we slowed to a jog and then to a walk. I thought I could get used to this routine very easily and smiled to myself as I thought about that. Just as quickly though, I remember this was only for six weeks, so my smile faded.

“Are you hurting?” I heard Jaebeom ask. I looked over at the tall muscular Asian man walking beside me. He had a look of genuine concern on his face. “Do you need a piggyback ride the rest of the way? Are you okay?”

At that I burst out laughing. “A piggyback? What do you think this is a Kdrama?” I paused and looked at him, concern still etched on his face.

“Thanks for your concern. I’m physically fine. I was just thinking that it was nice to have someone to run with and I jumped the gun and, instead of just enjoying the moment, I remembered that you would only be here for six weeks. Actually, less than that now.”

I looked ahead, instead of at him, and just kept walking towards home. A sense of sadness crept up on me, but I pushed it down. I stole a glance at Jaebeom and, I don’t know if it was my imagination or not, but he looked a little wistful too.

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

Our run was exhilarating. We started off slowly, but in no time at all we pulled away from Sam into a slow jog then stretched out our stride into a full run. Sharay drilled vocabulary words into me while we ran and I found I could run automatically and just focus on the words. The time passed rapidly and before long we were on our return leg of the run, slowing down for a cool off.

As we had been running, I noticed Sharay’s long strides. She had well defined leg muscles, almost alike a dancers but not as bulky and, well.....I better not even think about her butt muscles. I hadn’t dared to look, though I had a pretty good imagination. As I thought that, I had to shake my head. Focus.

I turned and looked at her face. She was slightly flushed from the exertion and sweat was trickling down her temples. The nape of her neck and above her neckline was glistening too. As she was running, her pony tail swung from side to side like a pendulum. The pace we kept seemed to be perfect for both of us, for which I was glad, as I had been concerned I would slow her down. I was always a little self-conscious about my legs. They were disproportionately shorter than my torso and tended to be a touch on the bowlegged side. This girl’s legs seemed to go on forever and they were as straight as an arrow. I almost wished I had worn sweat pants, however, in this heat that would have just been insane. Just then, I noticed a small smile creep across Sharay’s face. I couldn’t help but hope I had played a part in putting it there but, just as quickly, the smile faded into a sullen expression I couldn’t read.

“Are you hurting?” I immediately had all these horrible thoughts come to mind. Did she sprain her ankle, bonk, or what? “Do you need a piggyback ride the rest of the way? Are you okay?”

Her response threw me for a loop. I wasn’t expecting her to laugh it off at first, and I certainly wasn’t expecting her following comment that she enjoyed running with me. When she mentioned the short length of time I would be here, we both lapsed into silence for the remainder of the trip home.

Once at home, we both stretched out a bit before heading in to shower and then off to training with TJ.

 

༺ ¤○•°  **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

Jaebeom was improving fast. Mom had me sit in on the session, since she was no longer testing, so I could be aware of his areas of strength and weakness. She wanted me to focus on the weak areas of pronunciation and select a larger quantity of words with the sounds he found more difficult.

The beginning part of auditory training was always a struggle for students, but Jaebeom had some advantages and some additional disadvantages. He clearly had an ear for sounds and was progressing rapidly in identifying the sounds, as well as blending and segmenting them. He was still struggling with making the correct pronunciation for many of them, but Mom was taking it slowly and not allowing any error at all.

By 3pm, when we wrapped things up to go get my grandmother, he had master the pronunciation of a several new sounds. With 48 sounds in the English language it was a start. Things were going to start moving fast from here on out. As my mom says, “Practice makes permanent, so you better practice perfectly!”

Jaebeom was in for a treat. My grandma was a hoot. She was a prim and proper English lady, and at the ripe old age of 88, she looked and acted way younger than her years. She lived in a high rise condo overlooking the Caloosahatchee River. She was one of the reasons we attended church on Saturday instead of Sunday. Church began at 4:30pm and she and my mom always went out for dinner together afterwards.

After service, we “collected” Daniel and headed home with Dad, while Mom and Grandma went for their weekly mother daughter dinner date.

Dad decided that instead of cooking tonight we would head to Moe’s for Mexican food. Time to introduce Jaebeom to the world of tacos, burritos, chips and salsa.

“Welcome to Moe’s” they yelled as we entered the place. Jaebeom was a little startled but swiftly fell into step with the rest of us. After ordering, we sat and ate. We were all pretty hungry. The only one who took forever to eat was Daniel, as he had to regale us with stories of Sarge and Sadie, Alex’s German Shepherd. That boy can’t remember to do anything when he’s talking. He’d die of starvation rather than stop talking. Jaebeom, like me, focused on the food.

After finishing up, we headed home. Since Star Trek didn’t come on until 9pm, and that was two hour off, Dad launched into an explanation of the sermon so Jaebeom could get the finer points he missed and Daniel, who was in a different service, could also benefit from the message. I noted a couple dozen more vocabulary words to add to Jaebeom’s every growing list.

With an hour to go before Star Trek, I thought we would introduce Jaebeom to “Doctor Who.

Though I adore the. 10th Doctor, AKA David Tennant who also played Barty Crouch Jr. in the Harry Potter movies, I thought better of starting with him, as he spoke very rapidly, which was much more difficult to understand thanany of the other’s who portrayed the various incarnations.

So, I decided to begin him with the sixth Doctor from the original series, as his speech pattern was more crisp and clear and he had an American companion. This approach would definitely not clash with the accent coaching he was getting nor add confusion. We were a long way off from regional dialects and variations. I needed to stick with “broadcaster” speech for not. In any case, I was bound and determined to inculcate a love of my fandoms in Jaebeom. This would include Harry Potter too!

 

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

Tacos are my new favorite food! Just saying. Dinner was great. I was amazed at how Daniel could talk incessantly about Mindcraft. I would definitely have to find some time to play with him. He was a sweet and funny kid who really just rolled with me coming in and taking over his space for a month and a half. He had an easy going nature, was quick to laugh, and could be very animated, throwing his whole body into his conversation.

Daniel spoke as much with his body language as he did his words. In this he really did seem a lot like Jackson, though I found Daniel to have more self confidence and didn’t seem too concerned about what others thought of him. He knew who he was and that seemed sufficient for him to have an aura of intellectual poise and fortitude.

I learned that Daniel did some acting and modeling. I wasn’t the least bit surprised, as he had killer blue eyes and full lips. When he smiled his whole face lit up. He was on the thin side, but reminded me of Bambam just before his growth spurt. I wouldn’t be surprised if he sprouted 10cm while I was here. He was also a clothes horse like Bammy. I also thought that JYP would snatch him up in an instant if they ever met. Food for thought.

I found it funny that being away from the members, I spent a good bit of time thinking about them, and the characteristics and traits which made them special to me and integral members of GOT7. If one were missing the whole would not be the same. It was easier to see how we each added special skills, traits, and personality quirks to make our group what it was when I was distanced from them. I resolved to Facetime with them tonight and check in.

My exposure to Star Trek and Doctor Who was interesting to say the least. Though I enjoyed the shows, I was fascinated by watching Sharay more than anything. She was a true fangirl and it was fun to watch. Daniel said that after I watched the 6th and 10th Doctors, he wanted me to experience the 9th Doctor. Apparently, he liked Christopher Eccleston the best. I guess I would have to see a fair bit and decide who I liked most.

“Are we able to go for a run again tomorrow?” I asked Sharay.

“Sure, but I have to be back and showered by 9am as I am serving in the newborns to one-year olds at church tomorrow. Daniel? Want to join us?”

“Naw. I promised Dad I would help him clean the pool and do some work around the house tomorrow. Maybe Monday?” Daniel responded after looking up from the computer he was working on at the dining room table.

“That’ll work,” I said. And almost as an afterthought addressing Sharay I queried, “Can I go back with you to church? I really want to hear worship songs and the message again, especially now that Sam helped explain some things I missed earlier.”

“I’m okay with that. So how about we plan on heading out around 7:30am?” I heard my new running partner confirm our schedule for the morning.

By this time, TJ had returned from her evening with her mom and had been watching some of the shows with us. “You've worked really hard so far, Jaebeom. Tomorrow, let’s have a bit of a break. We’ll do a few hours later in the afternoon. After church, how about you guys head to the beach for a bit. You can’t come to Florida and not go to the beach. Just make it educational and focus on vocabulary that you see around you.”

I was going to get to see the beach! I was up for that. Sharay suggested we wear our bathing suits under our church attire, so we could get in some swimming or at least wade in the water if we heated up to much. I was game for that.

Again I found the evening time was very enjoyable. Conversation with the family was relaxing, though regularly animated. Finally, Daniel excused himself and headed off to sleep as did TJ and Sam. I found myself alone with Sharay in the living room.

Looking over at her, I reflected on my earlier decision of the day that I really needed to focus on my language studies and stop focusing on Sharay. First things first. I needed to seriously back away from any skinship. I had nearly lost myself last night with that simple back hug. I knew I couldn’t trust myself. Given that I didn’t really know this girl that well, I knew my response to her was primarily hormonal and I would just have to control that. I didn’t want to hurt her by my actions, especially if they were just delayed pubescent responses. I had basically been locked up in the world of KPOP since my teens and this was my first taste of unsupervised, by JYP at any rate, freedom. I needed to step up my game as the leader of GOT7 and act accordingly.

“See you in the morning,” I offered and, without looking back or offering any form of physical contact, I headed to my room.

I decided I really needed to Facetime with Jinyoung and the boys. They would help settle my mind and help me get back on track. I needed that right now.

“Hey! How’re things going?” I asked.

“What the heck Jaebeom? You leave and it’s over 72 hours before you contact us beside some cryptic message you left on the fridge and a short text to me,” the member I had known longest chided me. “What are you up to? Where are you? Come on spill it. I’ll keep it a secret. JYP will never know,” Jinyoung cajoled.

“Sorry. No can do. It is so big you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself. Also I won’t be able to tell you for several months after completing the task. Those were my instructions. But it sure is good to hear you voice and see your face even if on screen only.” I felt distant, not just because of our location, but because I couldn’t share with him what I was doing. I also couldn’t ask his advice and opinion about the emotions I was feeling either since they were all intertwined.

I asked if any of the other members were there. I really wanted to be distracted and I knew that hearing what they had been up to would at least provide a temporary diversion.

“Hey Jackson!” Jinyoung called to someone off to his side. “It’s that creep who calls himself our leader. Seems he’s deemed fit to give us minions a call.”

“Yo!” Jackson shouted as his face filled the entire view. “This secret better be really good or we’re going beat you for disappearing like that.”

“It is. I promise. You’re gonna love it. Trust me,” I assured him.

Bambam and Yugyeom’s voices could be heard in the background and finally they made an appearance. “Jaebeom-hyung, Eomma is being mean to us, "they whined in unison.  "We need you back to act as a buffer,” cried Bambam, as my JJ Project partner lashed out and thumped both him and the giant 막내 as if to prove his point.

I needed this. All my pent up emotions washed away and I began laughing. They each shared stories from the past few days, and though they tried to pry information from me, the only thing I shared was that I had enjoyed some time off that allowed me to go to a church service and get in a few runs. I did ask any of them if they had ever had the pleasure of eating homemade blue chocolate chip cookies. They were all jealous that I had experienced such a unique treat.

Since it was noon their time, with the 13 hour time difference, they all had to leave for various commitments, leaving only Mark to talk with at the end.

“So,” he started “what’s really going on?” the American asked.

“I told you I can’t talk about it.”

“Not the project. You’re an emotional bundle of nerves. A real wreck. Something is up. You seemed happy when the guys were chatting with you, but every now and again I got a glimpse of something flash across your face. What’s bothering you Jaebeom?” the ever perceptive elder asked me.

As if on cue, I could feel my face fall and my spirits lag. “Think I’m finally going through male adolescence,” I said laughing, half hoping he would think I was jesting and half hoping he would offer some advice. Of the guys, Mark and Jackson were the ones who had some experience with girls, but Mark would keep my comments to himself, so he was relatively safe to share with.

“So it involves a girl,” Mark stated more than questioned.

“Sort of. It’s supposed to be for business, but I keep saying and doing things. Well she five years younger and …” I trailed off not knowing what I was saying or what I was looking for.

“Jaebeom. You have a good head on your shoulders or we wouldn’t have voted you leader. You are wise beyond your years and can figure this out. I trust you will be able to get through this. If you can put some distance between the two of you and focus on whatever the business is, wait and see if over time the emotions are real or just an overactive libido. You'll make sense of it out. You always do.”

“Yeah,” I offered more in resignation than with any conviction. “That’s what I planned to do. I just feel as though…” I trailed off not really knowing what I felt or believed.

“Call me any time you need to chat. Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers right away. Some things take time. Hey, sorry I couldn’t be much help.”

“Mark, you’re a great help. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. I’m glad none of the others are as perceptive as you.”

“Don’t fool yourself. I’m sure Jinyoung picked up on it, and he’ll probably pepper me with questions later knowing we had some one on one time. Don’t worry though; I know how to play the silent card. When I do that, he usually fills in the blanks without my having to confirm anything. Again, call if you need to chat. Okay?”

“Yeah, catch you later, Mark.”

I ended the communication and turned to get some sleep.

* In endurance sports such as cycling and running, hitting the wall or bonking is a condition of sudden fatigue and loss of energy which is caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles. Milder instances can be remedied by brief rest and the ingestion of food or drinks containing carbohydrates. It is best to avoid the situation by ingesting sufficient easily accessible carbs in advance of exercise.

 


	7. Mentor, Music, and the Beach

 

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

I was looking forward to another run with Jaebeom, and was secretly glad that Daniel wouldn’t be joining us. When Jaebeom asked to go to church again and plans were made for a beach trip, I found myself happy at the prospect of getting to know him better. Although he threw me off with his physical approach when least expected, I found his presence strangely calming.

After everyone went to bed and it was just the two of us, I had hoped for further conversation, but instead, he abruptly stood up, said goodnight and left for his room without any further comment or action. I was left standing wondering if I had offended him in some way and wondered if tomorrow would be as enjoyable as I had hoped.

In the morning Jaebeom and I headed out for our run. My concern that things would be different hadn’t been unfounded. Though he was as friendly and personable as ever, I detected a wall had been put up. Well, two could play the same game and I withdrew into my own protective shell, limiting my conversation and interaction to his training.

As I ran, I felt a dull pain in the pit of my stomach. II wasn’t sure why I was feeling this way, but I was sure it had something directly to do with the man keeping pace alongside me.

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

Sleep was difficult. I wrestled with my feelings and the decision I had made earlier, finally drifting off in to a rather fitful sleep. In my dreams Urslua was singing to me, calling me a poor unfortunate soul. Sharay was also in my dreams and I heard a voice softly singing “I’m going to make a man out of you” as I saw her figure turn away from me and walk from view.

I woke, dressed and headed out to join Sharay for a run. Determined not to be in too much contact with her, I grabbed a protein bar for myself and tossed her one, which she caught with ease. As we started out I was quiet. She began introducing some words that would be applicable for the beach, feeling out which ones I knew and which were unfamiliar.

Though the run felt good, the work was fruitful; I was saddened that the banter from yesterday wasn’t there. Though I had put a wall up to set myself boundaries, I felt that after a bit my wall was fortified on the other side by a wall constructed by Sharay. Even if I dropped my guard, I was sure there would still be a barrier that hadn’t been there before. Towards the end of the run we lapsed into silence, both deep in our own thoughts. I wondered what she was thinking about and realized I didn’t know her well enough to know or even guess. I halfheartedly hoped she was thinking about me, though I reflected that the playful banter we had between us and the skinship had almost exclusively been initiated by me. The only exception had been when she had curled up against me in the car, but that was unwittingly done on her part.

Heading to church I decided to focus on the sermon and the music. Maybe I would find some answers there. Sharay would be in with the babies and it wasn’t like I could go in and help anyway, as they had a screening process to safeguard the kids. So when we arrived at church she headed one way and I the other.

The music did have a calming effect on me and, with Sam’s further explanations last night, I did get more out of the message. When service ended, I headed to the area where Sharay was serving. She had noted that since many of the leaders had children in her care, she was often the last to leave awaiting the pickup of her little charges.

I stood where Sharay couldn’t see me, but I could view her interaction with the children. Apparently, she had been shifted to a room with two-year olds because of a greater number of children in that age group today. I watched as she was fed soggy gold fish crackers by one little boy and how she soothed the tears of a little girl who had lost her toy to a more aggressive child who had snatched it from her arms. I was mesmerized by how she was so spontaneous and naturally affectionate with the little ones. She was going to make a fabulous mom some day.

Snap. There is was again. I needed to think about her in terms of language training only. This was a going to be more of a challenge than I thought.

Finally, all the little ones had been returned to their respective parents, so I entered the room to help her tidy up. Instead of the welcome I had received for my offer after the Chus left, this time I was rebuked and told to just go wait outside. She planned on doing it all herself. I was stunned. Had she picked up on the fact that I’d placed a barrier up and had chosen to do the same?

As I walked out to the entry are of the church feeling rather dejected, I sat down in a char to wait. A younger man, maybe three years my senior, with blond hair came up and asked if I was alright. Looking up at him I just shook my head.

“Can I join you for a bit?” he asked, sitting without really waiting for a response. “I’m Rick the Worship Pastor here,” he continued. “I noticed you came last night as well as today, though last night you seemed to be with a family who regularly attend and today you were on your own. Is everything okay? You look a bit…” he trailed off like he didn’t want to put words in my mouth, but wanted to offer me the opportunity to open up.

“I’m Jaebeom and I’m here for six-weeks to work on my English. I’m from Korea,” I offered not reveling anything too personal. “That family from last night is helping me. I’m a little off kilter, that’s all. I came back today with the daughter as she serves with the babies. I really enjoyed the music last night and I wanted to experience it again. I also wanted to hear the message again to see if I could get more out of it.”

“Well glad you came, and hope your language work goes well. But, not meaning to be too personal, it seemed deeper than that. Care to talk about it?”

I turned to the young man who looked at me with concern and without even a hint of judgment. Why did I feel I could open up to him when I had been so guarded with Mark last night? “You’re right.” I offered. “Something is bothering me but I think I just have to deal with it.”

“Look, here’s my card. Give me a call if you ever want to talk. In the meantime let me pray with you for some peace and clarity,” he again offered without really giving me a choice. His words poured over me like a song of comfort as he spoke to God asking Him to help me as I sorted through what was troubling me and when he finished he cocked his head to the side, as if he were listening to someone speak to him, and stated, “You’re a singer aren’t you.”

It was a statement, not a question. It was as though he had been told what I did. I weakly nodded and said I was the leader of a group.

“Well then you’ll have to come by if you have any free time and hang with us. I’d love to hear some of your music. Maybe we could talk again then if things haven’t settled down. Call me if you’re free. I’ll make the time,” Though I knew he was prodding me to meet with him and open up, I didn’t feel boxed in. I felt like I had been offered a safety net.

In response I blurted out, “GOT7. My group is GOT7 and some of my own compositions can be found on Sound Cloud under the name Defsoul. I just might take you up on that offer.”

“I hope you do, and in the meantime I’ll check out your music. Is there anything by your group GOT7 available on YouTube?”

I smiled and said, “Yeah. There’re a few things.”

Just at this time, Sharay appeared so I got up, thanked him, and turned to leave with her for the beach.

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

I was asked to help out with the two-year olds today because they had so many show up. Though I loved the babies, I welcomed the high energy and antics of the two’s, especially today. I needed something to distract me a bit and keep my mind from wondering if I had done anything to offend Jaebeom. And distract me they did. They were like little Tasmanian Devils or whirling dervishes, making me run and dash about to keep them out of trouble and from hurting one another. They truly were a great distraction right up until the very end when I spotted Jaebeom watching me. Fortunately, he didn’t hang around long. Maybe ignoring him had done the trick when he offered to help clean up. Stupid me. I should have accepted the assistance as the room was a disaster and it took me way longer to tidy up that I expected.

When I was done, I proceeded to the café area to spot Jaebeom with head bowed in prayer with Pastor Rick. I wondered what that was all about but wasn’t going to ask or pry. I hated it when people poked their nose in my private business, so I wasn’t about to do it with anyone else, especially someone who seemed to have gone from hot to cold overnight.

I slowly arrived as they transitioned to talking about music. I stifled a giggle when I head Rick ask if GOT7 had anything on YouTube. He was going to be in for a surprise when he searched. I wished I could be a fly on the wall when that happened. The thought made me chuckle internally.

The drive to the beach was uneventful. Since it was summer and there were no winter visitors, the traffic wasn’t bad and the parking was easy to find. Fortunately, the weather report showed that there wouldn’t be any afternoon rain until later on, so we parked and headed to the water’s edge with towels under arm, a cooler filled with water, snacks that I had prepared after Jaebeom went to sleep last night, and a sun umbrella to provide some respite from the blazing heat.

Both of us had worn our swim suits under the clothes, so we peeled off the outer layer. As usually, I wore a one piece swimsuit designed for swimmers. I liked the higher neckline and the racer back as it allowed for freedom while playing in the waves without having to worry about straps coming loose or top revealing too much. I had never been one for bikinis and my fair skin could do without extra exposure to potential burns. I could tan, but like my father, it took a good like while. My brother and mom, however, seemed to be able to get a golden tan from sitting in the shade.

Jaebeom had on surfer shorts and a t-shirt. He looked rather pale and likely to burn as well. I was glad that I brought the spray on sunscreen, as I would rather die than ask for help rubbing some on my back and there is no way I was going to rub sun lotion on a guy, especially not, Mister “I’m giving you the cold shoulder treatment.”

Silently, I offered him the spray too. As he took it, I could see why some people thought his personality was cold and scary. The look on his face was quite fierce. I missed the guy who had been open and charming, even if a bit too in my face.

After setting up the umbrella, we decided to take a walk down the shore. I reasoned that there would be tons of things we could see and cover in the way of vocabulary. We started basically doing a “See it – Say it” game. I would point to something and if he knew what it was he was say it.

Regularly, I had to tweak his pronunciation. Things he didn’t know, I told him. I made a mental note to add those he didn’t know or pronounced incorrectly to his word list. As we continued down the beach I would double back on previously covered words to help reinforce the vocabulary and increase retention. This approach was far better than using a dictionary and going from an object or action to the English word would accomplish fluency the fastest and best way. As a last resort, we would look up the work in a dictionary or in an online app, but we didn’t want him translating from Korean to English, as that was very inefficient and the goal was for him to think in English.

We had gone a ways down the beach, spotting conk shells, starfish, sand dollars and other creatures, when I stopped to toss a Frisbee back to some guy. After he caught it, the guy asked if I wanted to play some more, but before I could respond, Jaebeom took my arm and turned me towards him and suggested we get on one of the boats they had for rent and get out further in the water. I was glad he gave me an out, as I thought that Frisbee guy was acting a bit creepy. Also, I was fine with doing something different, but I countered by suggesting we rent a sail boat or cat and head out on our own.

I don’t know if it was my imagination or not, but it seemed like Jaebeom was trying to defrost a bit from the cool persona he had up since last night. I’d have to see how things went. I hoped he wouldn’t flip back and forth as I’d get emotional whiplash if that happened.

A little ways up the beach, we finally found a place that had Sunfish sailboats for rent, and after a quick demonstration that I knew how to rig and control the craft, we took off out into the water.

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

This was going to be harder than I thought. The drive to the beach was in total silence. I could feel the chill in the air and wasn’t sure if I was the one causing it or her. Maybe a little of both?

Finally arriving at the water’s edge, I helped set up our towels and proceeded to strip down to my swim trunks and T-shirt. Glancing to my side, I noticed Sharay peel off her shirt only to reveal a black one-piece Speedo. I was partially disappointed and partially relieved. When my eye caught the guy behind her undressing her in his mind, I was furious and could only glare at him to get him to avert his eyes. As I turned from him, I saw Sharay looking at me with trepidation. Had she thought that look was directed at her? I hope not.

I had forgotten to bring sunscreen, but fortunately Sharay was a seasoned beach goer and had some with her. Again I struggled between relief that it was the spray-on kind and the thought of how it would feel to have her rub lotion onto my back or to touch her skin. Fortunately, before that thought could really take root, we headed off down the beach in search of vocabulary. That’s enough to dampen any lustful thoughts that threatened to surface.

My new least favorite word to pronounce is ‘seashell.’ Enough said. I was working on so many words and after several exposures was doing better. Sharay was tuned into the lesson and I was trying to focus on that as well, but I was finding that while a bikini would leave little to the imagination, this one piece suit made my thoughts run wild. I felt like such a pervert and kept taking trips into the water to cool off. Fortunately the heat of the day justified the dips into the water without raining any suspicion of a more nefarious reason.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, as I wasn’t the only one noticing her sleek trim athletic form. I was on the verge of punching one guy who tossed a Frisbee in her direction only to ask her to throw it back to him and for him to try an engage her in further interaction. I grabbed her arm and spun her in my directly. I hoped I wasn’t too forceful, but since she didn’t cry out I figured I did okay.

“Let’s get on one of those boats for a bit. They’re giving rides”

“We could do that, but it is a bit passive just sitting there while someone else drives the boat. How about we rent a sailboat?” I was asked.

“We could do that, but I don’t know a thing about sailing,” I replied.

Not surprisingly, Sharay offered, “Well, I do and I can teach you some words about sailing and nomenclature of a boat, though it probably won’t come up that often at a fan meet or in conversations you would have with anyone during your work.”

I found I really needed some happy ground between desperately trying to get closer to this girl and keeping her at arm’s length. Because I didn’t know what my intentions really were, I challenged, “If it’s something we can talk about together, then I think it is vocabulary worth learning. I don’t even know most of the words dealing with sailing and boats in Korean. It would be interesting to know words on a subject in English that I don’t in Korean. Maybe you can demonstrate how to sail, so I can learn a little bit about that as well.”

I hoped I had hit a sweet spot that would help defrost the air around us without setting me off on a tangent. Much to my relief, she responded with a smile and headed off in search of boat rentals. The boats we were looking at were small two-person crafts. She spent about five minutes with the rental staff demonstrating that she could handle the boat and soon we were off into the water and away from all the people.

Once we were about 500 meters off shore, and away from the people, Sharay began explaining the physics behind sailing. Everything was clearly explained from the wind direction, to the use of the rudder. As she taught how things worked, she introduced me to the new world of nautical terms. I learned about the bow, and stern, Starboard and Port (including the fact that Port came from Port Out Starboard Home from the time of the English colonization of India when that side of the ship was the preferred side during travel), the keel and the hull. I even had a close encounter with the boom when I learned the importance of ducking during a tack! I ended up in the drink and Sharay had to backtrack to collect me. She finally hauled me back on board.

Drenched, stunned, and a bit bedraggled, I finally let my guard down and decided I needed to just be myself. So, being stronger and bigger than her, I wrestled with Sharay for just a bit until I flipped her out of the boat. I was surprised how little effort it took to knock her overboard too, and given that she wasn’t complaining, thought possibly she had allowed me to do it. Bounding back in the boat without any help from me, she let loose with that deep belly laugh of hers and wrapped her arms around me from behind and playfully hit me on the chest.

It was at that moment I realized the truth I had been searching for. I really did like this girl. She was bright, feisty, self-confident, though insecure in some areas. She was mature yet youthful, she dressed how she liked and wasn’t likely to succumb to peer pressure. She was gentle and kind with children and animals, loyal and patient, with a hot streak and a bit of a temper. She was fairly athletic, talented in many things, and open to challenges. She was beautiful inside and out. From her figure to her eyes and hair, yet she seemed oblivious to her own charms.

Above all, Sharay seemed to be able to roll with everything I threw at her, and fight back when necessary. She could encourage me to be better, inspire me to go outside my comfort zone, all without making me feel belittled. In fact she made me feel empowered and like I could succeed at anything. She acknowledged my actions and efforts and, in turn she, appreciated when I did the same for her. I wasn’t just physically attracted to her. It was way deeper than that. I was emotionally drawn to her; intellectually drawn to her. So much so, that I knew I could pull back and give her time and space until the day I hoped she would reciprocate my feelings.

 

 


	8. Fire and Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom has a chance to perform as well as show off his Bboy skills, but will he try fire spinning to prove himself to Sharay in front of an apparent rival?

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Monday and Tuesday were basically clones of each other. I started the day with a run with Sharay, followed by a shower, then we headed to the office where TJ and Sharay alternated in training me. When in the office, I also practiced my spelling and writing using a yellow highlighter with the regular lights off and only a black light on. This trick caused the letters to glow and all but burn the image into my brain.

Daniel stayed in the room next door working on math and reading, which was his light schedule over the summer, then he played on Minecraft or watched YouTube videos. Lunk went with us to the office and often times during a break I would stop in to give the big puppy a cuddle or to spend 10 minutes with Daniel watching some YouTuber or listening to him brag about a recent victory in a game. I could imagine him and Youngjae getting along with their mutual love of gaming.

After seven hours of formal training, I devoted time in the later afternoon to working on some dance routines or composing at the keyboard in the living room back at the house. In the evening I was subjected to Harry Potter. Sharay was right. Jinyoung was going to love her. I reluctantly admitted to myself that the series was enjoyable. We had the books on tape playing while Sharay and I sat side by side with the book in hand and I followed along. After every chapter she had me read the story out loud, focusing on my pronunciation as well as intonation and inflection. Words I didn't know were looked up and added to the word list. She asked me questions about the characters and events, forcing me to describe, using my own words, what I had read and understood. This approach was really helping me with my reading comprehension as well as ability to join in and participate in conversations.

That evening time though, side by side on the couch, soon became my favorite time of the day. Sharay sat to my left, saying something about the left ear being on the auditory dominant side so, if she corrected me, I would get a better input. Though I hadn't attempted any overt skinship since the weekend, feeling the warmth from her body against my left side was sufficient to appease my need for contact. I had reached a compromise when it came to this girl that I could live with for the time being.

Wednesday started off the same as the preceding days, but in the evening I headed to church with Sharay and Daniel for their youth group sermon and small group. The place was a mad house. There must have been over 400 kids from middle school to college there. As I signed in using Sharay's address and cell number for contact, I was thankful that I could put down that I was attending university, albeit in a Korean university and via distance learning.

Much like the service on Saturday evening and Sunday morning, the Wednesday youth event began with worship music and progressed to a sermon. Afterwards we broke up into small groups. Since I was new, I followed Sharay to her group. She had explained that they started out co-ed and then spit into guys and girls for discussion, and then wrapped up as a joint group again. I was not, however, prepared for what awaited me.

As we walked into the room, Sharay introduced me to her leaders. As people came in, additional introductions were made. There was one girl who came up and all but rubbed herself against me under the guise that she was passing by and there wasn't enough room. I nearly fell over. I mean this was a church group wasn't it. What the heck? I tried backing away, but her advances were quite aggressive and the way she spoke was very suggestive that she would like more from me than casual contact. Sharay was standing nearby taking in the whole scene.

I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with such things on many occasions, so when she reached to place her hands on my chest, I was ready. I intercepted her in mid attempt, and while hold her hands at a safe distance, I quietly, but firmly, informed her, "Look, you're not my type. I prefer the chase rather than being the prey. You need to learn that demure girls are more attractive to most guys. If you act slutty you will be treated as a slut. Conversely, if you act classy, you will be treated with class. Treat yourself with respect and you will be respected. Got it?"

As I asked the final question, more as a rhetorical one, I gently but firmly shifted her away from me and headed back towards where Sharay had been standing. As I was walking there, one of the leaders pulled me aside. Apparently, she had heard what I said and thanked me for how I had addressed the situation.

I was told, "Alyssa still hasn't accepted Jesus as her savior yet, so she still really struggles with a lot of things. Your approach was both firm and gave her something to think about." Inclining my head to show I appreciated her feedback, I turned again to where Sharay was, only to see that she had sitting down on a couch and was doodling in her ever present sketch pad.

As I moved to join her, the door flew open and a tall blonde youth sauntered into the room. His presence seemed to draw the attention of most of the people in the room. Guys called out to him as though he were a leader of sorts and girls started to shift and preen a bit, especially Alyssa.

"Hey Rhett. How's it going?" called a few individuals. He responded with first bumps, hi-fives and words of acknowledgment. His smile was genuine and infectious.

Rhett scanned the room. Spotting me his eyes stopped for the briefest of moments as though he were sizing me up and then his scanning continued, until his eyes fell upon the back of Sharay's bent head. Upon seeing her, his body language shifted and his face brightened even more. Reaching over from behind her, he bent down and stretched out his arms until his hands touched the sides of her sketch pad. He didn't take it, but instead lingered there looming over her pretty much in a back hug, like I had done the other night when she had been typing.

The urge to rush him was very strong, but I balled my fists and waited to see what would happen; pretty sure that Sharay would be startled and would lash out at him. I was confused by her response. She didn't flinch or anything. What the heck? She merely, nudged his hands away and said hello.

As if encouraged, Rhett patted and stroked her head. Unlike my quick and hasty pat, his was lingering and repeated. As he did this, he commented, "Been to the beach?"

Sharay gently swatted away his hand, almost as if a gesture of affection rather than annoyance, and remarked, "How could you tell?"

"I pay attention to your hair. Always have since I first saw you and you had that pink wig on. Your natural hair is so much softer than any wig and I can see that it's been sun streaked. Also there's a little pink to your scalp, so I know it's not just you blushing because of me."

At that I was ready to launch myself at him, but a hand gently restrained me. Looking over, I saw Sally with another girl. Sally shook her head from side to side and said, "Don't worry. He might have a different plan, but Sharay sees him as a brother figure. Nothing more. He's not even on her radar."

The tension that had built up released a little, but when I looked over again, I saw Rhett train his eyes on me as if in challenge. Crap. He'd noticed my response and I had trigged a competitive spirit in him. As if to prove his status with Sharay, he vaulted over the back of the couch and plopped himself down in "my" position on the right side of her draping his arm along the back of the seat, not quite across her shoulder, but near enough to show his intent. He again looked my way and smiled with a challenging grin.

Sally still had her hand on my arm grounding me in place, so I didn't immediately move in his direction, but heard him ask, "So what are you drawing this time? Anything for me?"

Looking up, Sharay noticed that though he was asking her the question, his eyes were trained on me. She glanced between the two of us, trying to process what was going on, but in her naivety couldn't fathom that a battle was raging.

I released myself from Sally's grip and was heading towards the couch, when the door opened and the pastor I had met on Sunday came in. He immediately spotted me and called out to me. "JB!"

I was startled as everyone here knew me as Jaebeom, and I was sure that's how I had introduced myself that day. I concluded that he must have checked out GOT7 on YouTube and saw I was more frequently referred to as JB there, and it was easier for foreigners to remember that than my given name. I nodded acknowledgment and we moved towards one other which placed us right in front of Sharay and Rhett.

Rhett had swung around when it dawned on him who was being called. And looked back and forth between me and the pastor, wondering what the encounter was all about. I was sure he was hoping I was in trouble for something, but it was too obvious from the cheerful tone of the greeting that it was nothing of the sort. Inwardly I smiled at his confusion.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

If Jaebeom though Saturday and Sunday at our church was different, he was in for a real treat when it came to youth group on Wednesday. The place was packed. The sanctuary held about 500 seats and a vast majority were filled. After the main service, about three quarters of the people left. Those who remained headed off to small groups where we first began just as a social mix of ages and genders.

Entering the portable building where we congregated for our social time, I was quickly separated from Jaebeom by a girl brushing between us. I wasn't surprised to see that it was Alyssa, as I had spotted her checking out Jaebeom during the service. Though she had been coming to youth group for about a year, I swear she was here more for boy shopping that God, but that was her deal and I didn't care what her agenda was, but now that she seemed to have her sights trained on Jaebeom I was taking it a bit more personally.

Not only did she barge between us, she did so facing him and all but rubbing her chest against him as she made to pass. She also stopped to make sure the contact was noticed. I saw her look up into his eyes with a coquettish expression and move to place her hands on his chest. My stomach began to churn as I saw Jaebeom grab her hands.

For a split second I thought he would hold her hands to him. Instead, he gently but swiftly held her hands away from contacting him and in a quiet steady voice halted her advances with a few carefully chosen words that told her he wasn't interested and that she should have more respect for herself. It was kind, but firm, and gave her some very good advice on how to proceed with a relationship.

Letting out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding, I quickly moved to the couch, where I often sat during the social time, and pulled out my sketch pad to draw. I figured Jaebeom could handle himself, so went about my usual routine. I wasn't exactly a social butterfly, so this time was rather awkward for me. I preferred the discussion time, as it was more structured. I really didn't care to hear about who was dating whom and other such things, as I had nothing to add to those conversations and felt uncomfortable when exposed to other people talking about things that I believed should remain between the parties.

I heard the door open behind me and cries of "Hey Rhett" and braced myself for the weekly mauling that usually followed.

╔═══════ ≪ ༺༻ ≫ ═══════╗

**FLASHBACK –Sharay**

╚═══════ ≪ ༺༻ ≫ ═══════╝

I wasn't sure why Rhett felt compelled to talk to me every week. He had done so though since the first day he started coming a little less than a year ago. That day I had decided to be a little more strange than normal and wore a pink cosplay wig to group. I was also wearing my Army jacket and a RWBY T-shirt.

Rhett entered the room. He was difficult to miss. Tall, like about 185cm, with blond hair and fairly well built. If that wasn't enough to draw people's attention to him, the buzz of all the girls who flocked to him would have. As usual, I stayed where I was on the couch drawing. To my surprise, he walked up to me and said, "Cool shirt. I like RWBY. Shame about Monty. I still miss him." I looked up at that and saw he had his hand out. "I'm Rhett. And you are?"

"Sharay," I said reaching out my hand. "Rhett like in 'Good Mythical Morning'?"

"Exactly! Surprised you would know that. Sha're like in 'Stargate', right?"

"Yes, but spelled differently."

The following week I decided to go with yet a different look and had on a black short haired wig and ball cap. I still had on my Army jacket, so when Rhett arrived, he spotted me and came up again. That in and of itself was unusual. People frequently thought I was a little weird and antisocial so, after first introductions, rarely approached me again unless the situation dictated it. Since I had different hair, I was doubly surprised that he recognized me.

"So do you die your hair all the time or is that a wig?" he inquired. He didn't sound judgmental; merely curious.

"Wig," was all I said and returned to what I had been doing, not engaging him any further.

"What're you working on?" he asked, not dropping the conversation as he sat down peering at my work. I hated people getting into my space and looking at my drawings, especially when they weren't completed. I jerked back and he caught the hint and retreated a safe distance. "Sorry, didn't mean to come across pushy."

That night the group discussion centered around the issue of tattoos. Though I have no problem with them aesthetically speaking, when I was called upon to give my position, I explained the deal with micro scars and why they could be a problem. I think it went over the head of most people, so I lapsed into silence for the rest of the discussion.

The third time Rhett showed up for youth group I wasn't wearing a hat or a wig. Rhett approached me again, this time offering, "I like this look the best," while reaching out and stroking my head.

What was up with this guy? Did he like messing with me? I mean no one usually approached me twice, much less three times, especially when I said little if anything to encourage them to get to know me. From that day on though, it became a Wednesday ritual for him to comment on my drawings and pat my head. Made me feel a bit like a pet or something.

Several months later, the topic of tattoos came up again, but this time I remained silent. I had said my peace before.

"So I really want a tattoo. Who here draws and is willing to sketch something for me?" someone inquired.

"She draws," piped in Rhett. I looked up to see who he was talking about only to see all eyes were on me.

"If you bring Henna powder I'll doing something for you with that, but I won't provide art work for a permanent tattoo," I offered, feeling like I had been put on the spot.

Over the following weeks, a few people took me up on my offer, but I asked ask Rhett never to volunteer me for anything ever again. It was way outside my comfort zone.

╔═══════ ≪ ༺༻ ≫ ═══════╗

**END OF FLASHBACK**

╚═══════ ≪ ༺༻ ≫ ═══════╝

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

As usual, I found my head being petted and my space being invaded by the oversized Rhett. Imagine a golden lab and you'll have a pretty good idea of his look and personality: big, friendly, and blond. For some reason this time he was a little more personal than in the past. He made a comment about my hair being sun bleached and then proceeded to hurdle the couch and lean in to see what I was working on.

At that moment I looked up at his face, preparing to ask him to back off a bit, only to see his eye trained elsewhere. There were meeting the eyes of Jaebeom across the room. Though Jaebeom's eyes were their usual slits, the look was clearly intense and threatening. Coupled with a jutting of his chin, I instantly picked up that something about Rhett had clearly triggered him. I just wasn't sure what it was.

Before I could analyze the situation any further, the tension palpable in the room even to other people, the door burst open and Pastor Rick breezed in looking excited. Scanning the room quickly, his eyes finding Jaebeom, he cried out in pleasure, "JB!"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The tension in my jaw gave way to pleasure at seeing the slightly older man. As I walked towards him, he met me half way.

"I was hoping you would make it tonight. I had my spies looking out for you and just got a call telling me you had been spotted, so I came rushing over. You never called and I had no way of reaching you," he offered by way of explanation.

Extending my hand in a greeting, I returned his smile and waited to see if he would continue. I doubted he would bring up our prior conversation, as that had been confidential so I wasn't exactly sure of his purpose, but hoped it may have something to do with music. My suspicions were proven right when he continued, "I love your music. Your voice is so soulful, strong, and clear. I was hoping you could join the worship team while you were here."

By this time, everyone was looking at us and listening in on the discussion. My eyes darted to Sharay, who was smiling brightly and giving me a small nod, indicating approval. I wasn't so quick to jump at the prospect though. I had a few details to consider.

"Exactly what would that entail in the way of time? And how about practice time?" Before answering these I added, "I noticed that the bass player didn't sit with his family during service, would I not be able to sit with..." here I paused a moment pointedly looking at Sharay and making sure Rhett noticed, "...my family?"

"Well, the worship team is responsible for either Saturday or Sunday, also during service we usually hang out in the green room and watch from there, but you're welcome to sit with you family if you would prefer. Since I know your family..." here he nodded in the direction of Sharay, "...comes on Saturday, that might be the best day for you to participate. We usually have the same team work both services on Saturday and, as you have seen, we open with three songs and wrap up with a reprisal at the end during offering."

Seeing that I had followed what he was saying up to this point, Rick continued, "I know you are here working and have a very busy schedule, but given your skills and professionalism, I think we could get by with two one hour sessions with the rest of the team sometime during the week. That should be more than enough, as long as you had the lyrics down and go over the music in advance. I'd love to highlight you as lead singer for at least one song, preferable two, each week." Rick's enthusiasm was contagious and hard to resist, but I pressed with a few additional questions.

"Would it be impossible to do the full first service and just the first three songs of the second service and head out from there? I don't want to inconvenience everyone else I will be here with or the worship team either."

"I think we can easily work around that. We just wouldn't have the song or songs you sing as the wrap up song. Anything else to cover?" he concluded.

"I'd need to make a couple of quick calls. Could you give me a few moments?" I asked, knowing that though Sharay had basically given me the go ahead, I still needed to clear the schedule with TJ and get approval from JYP as well. I was itching to get on stage and perform though and, since I thought I would be six weeks without that option, I was hoping this would pan out.

"Take your time. I'll wait." Rick offered. He appeared to understand that I needed to reach out to my agency and those I was working with here.

I turned towards Sharay and in three strong steps walked until I was in front of her. Holding my hand out to pull her up from the couch, I said, "Come with me a minute."

Sharay, placed her drawing pad in her backpack and reached for my hand. I smiled in satisfaction, as I saw Rhett choking at this interaction. Without releasing Sharay's hand, I walked out over to the side of the room with her in tow.

The first thing I did was ask Sharay for verbal confirmation that this would be acceptable to her. She was on board with it and said it would also help with my training and, as an added bonus, would help with that indoctrination I had planned of her grandmother. One down. Two to go.

After getting Sharay's assent, I placed a call to TJ. I confirmed we could modify my training schedule to free me up a couple of hours during the week for practice and could incorporate the song lyrics into the training regimen. If possible after youth group on Wednesday and starting at 3pm on Saturday would be most convenient, but she seemed flexible about that. I was assured that Sam and the kids could wait through the second worship set without it being a problem. My final call was through to JYP.

I help my breath as I dialed JYP knowing that it would be 6am for him. As the phone rang, I thought of all the reason he would possible come up with to say no, as well as tons of reasons why he should say yes.

"여보세요," answered JYP on the third ring.

"Hey," I offered in Korean. "I needed to check in with you on something and hope you can find a way to say yes."

"I'm listening. What's up?"

I explained the situation, including the fact that the service was streamed live, and resisted the urge to beg for permission.

"Well," JYP hesitated. "How's the training going?" at which point he launched into a tirade of English that I recognized instantly was laden with a stronger Korean pronunciation that I had ever identified in his speech before.

With a bit more confidence than I probably should have had at that point, I responded as clearly as I could in English, "I think I'm improving really rapidly. I've been spending about 7 hours in formal training daily and every other waking moment seems to be used for additional exposure of some type or another. I definitely feel more confident about speaking English and listening to others speak no longer sounds like I have mud in my ears. I've also been getting in a run daily, as well as some time for dance practice and composing."

Silence. No sound from the other end. I checked to make sure I hadn't lost the signal, but the phone showed we were still connected. "형?" I asked. "Are you still there?"

"Jaebeom," he finally said, switching back to Korean. "If they think this won't detract from your training, then I trust them, and I always trust you to know what is best. I assume they will keep your identity a secret? I am totally floored by the progress you have made. It hasn't even been a week and your speech is so clear. I was hoping you would improve a bit, but I'm speechless. Can't wait to hear how you are doing after six weeks. This is going to be a real challenge to keep secret. I want to run out and tell everyone right now. Give me the link to the live stream. I want to follow it and see how you are doing. Anything else comes up, give me a call."

We said our goodbyes and I turned to Rick and gave him the thumbs up. His smile broadened and he asked, "How about we do one of the songs from last week right now? You remember the lyrics or not? Can you play keyboard or guitar by any chance?"

"Is it okay to do that here? Won't it disturb everyone?" I asked, looking around the room.

"Don't see why not. It is worship music after all," he grinned at me.

Nodding I offered, "I'm better at key board, but do you have any sheet music?"

He pulled a few sheets from his back pocket a little sheepishly, since he had obviously planned the whole thing. "Sure do. I came prepared, as I was sure our conversation last week was a God thing," he offered by way of explanation, while heading over to the mini sound stage in the room we were in.

"Great. Give me a moment," I said, taking the sheet music from him and looking through it briefly. Two minutes was enough to get the gist of what I needed to know to fake it, after which I walked over to the keyboard. Rick had made all the other set up changes necessary and handed me a microphone stand so I could adjust it to where it worked best for me. As he was standing near me, I did comment, "We need to keep my identity a secret or my company will pull me from this and my training immediately. I wouldn't want anything to compromise that." Rick nodded his understanding of my need for anonymity.

"Anyone play drums who could accompany us?" the young worship pastor threw out to the room that was now abuzz. As there were no takers, we proceeded with a rough jam session with just guitar and keyboard.

Prior to beginning, I childishly looked over to Rhett and gave him a challenging look and a nod at the drums. I was delighted to see him back down instantly by breaking eye contact, though he did walk over to stand by Sharay as we began.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I wasn't that surprised that Rick sought out Jaebeom. I mean who wouldn't want to work with someone as talented as he was? I was, however, shocked that Jaebeom looked to me for approval. I mean who was I to say no when it came to him and music? Then he took it a step further and called my mom to make sure it wouldn't interfere with his training. Really, he could have insisted, but he was being so considerate. His call to JYP was a little more understandable given that the service was live-casted and he could have been found out.

I could make out a bit of what was said in Korean, and then Jaebeom launched into fairly passable English. Apparently he had been asked to demonstrate improvement with his English, which was the real purpose for him being here. I would say his improvement was very noticeable given that he had really had less than a week of training. Apparently JYP felt the same way and ultimately gave his approval.

I was curious to see how things would proceed, as Rick seemed to want a jam session right now and I knew Jaebeom knew the words of the songs from last week as we had used them in our training. But, I was wondering about how he was going to jump in and play the keyboard with only looking at the sheet music for a couple of minutes. That, I was looking forward to.

Sally and Emily stood next to me, both knowing Jaebeom's real identity, fairly humming in fangirl anticipation. Rhett stood to my right after having followed me from the couch. He and Jaebeom had exchanged a few glances, though I still wasn't sure what that was all about. Best I could tell, they hadn't met before or even spoken.

As the music began, a quite settle in the room. Jaebeom and Rick's voices went together well. They seemed to instantly be able to harmonize as the song progressed. With merely unspoken glances they worked out who would take the lead on different sections of the song. The result was amazing and came across as though they had jammed together before and practiced this song for hours.

Before proceeding to a second song, the regular small group leaders volunteered that they would suspend the intended activities to allow for a special worship set. This allowed Rick and Jaebeom to play the three songs from the week before.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

It was great being on stage, even if was a really small one and I wasn't playing one of our songs. The music was beautiful and Rick was super talented. Within minutes, we were playing and singing in sync. He must have listened to a ton of our songs, as he knew which parts would best suit my voice. Though I had to focus a bit more on the keyboard, I was able to look up from time to time to see how everyone was responding. I was rewarded with a smile from Sharay the first time I did this. After that, I was more aware that the young people in the room were focus less on Rick and me and more on the worship. That was new to me and strangely gratifying.

As we finished the three songs I knew, we wrapped things up. Rick handed me a thumb drive and explained that it contained the sheet music as well as sound files for the songs we would be covering this weekend, as well as the subsequent weeks. He explained that they were set out in groups of three by date. I was also told I would only need to focus on vocal, and no keyboard.

We then spent a few moments chatting about the best time to meet up. He had no problem with meeting after youth group on Wednesdays from now on and thought an additional hour and a half prior to service would be sufficient. Since I didn't know two of the songs for the upcoming week he wrapped up the night by playing and singing them for me so I could get a feel for them. He suggested that this week we might want to meet at 2pm and get in a double session before service. I agreed, thinking that TJ would have no problem with that arrangement.

As we wrapped up, I turned to rejoin Sharay and Sally. I ground my teeth a little when I noticed Rhett was standing there too. Taking a deep breath, I extended my hand and introduced myself. "Hello, I'm Jaebeom, Sharay's friend." I just couldn't resist the dig.

"Rhett. So am I," he responded.

At that moment Sharay's phone notification sounded and she peered down to see what it said. Smiling she looked at me and offered in an excited voice, "Nate's going to the boardwalk on the beach this Friday to do some fire spinning and wants to know if we can meet him there!"

She looked at me expectantly. I really wanted to see Nate spin fire and understood her enthusiastic announcement of the invitation. I just wished she hadn't done it in earshot of Rhett, as he perked up and commented, "Wow that sounds interesting. Can I come along too?"

"I don't see why not," Sharay replied. "It will be over by the DQ and they are starting around 7pm. They wait until the sun starts waning as the effect is more amazing in the dark."

She might not have seen a reason why not, but I sure did. Grrr. I hoped he wouldn't make it. Sally, in the meantime had to beg off going as she was performing in a play that evening. I was just glad Rhett wouldn't be going there in the same car as us.

Just about this time, Daniel showed up, so we made our way to the car. In the parking lot, Rhett waved goodbye and shouted, "See you Friday!"

Sharay turned to her brother and didn't notice the glare I was given. But then again, she also missed the way I had tilted my head to the side and scrutinized Rhett as he departed. Daniel, however, caught the whole thing and laughed at me.

"What's so funny?" Sharay inquired.

"Nothing. Nothing," Daniel and I responded in unison.

Sharay looked at us, unconvinced, but let it go nonetheless. I was still thinking that Friday would be fun, but for Rhett also being there.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom playing worship music was a whole different story from JB of GOT7. If any of the Ahgase could see him they would see him at a whole new level of perfection. After he got into it a bit, you could tell his mind and heart were on the music and the worship. I have to say there is nothing more attractive than a man who sings worship songs and prays. I've seem Jaebeom do both now and felt so much closer to him as a result. I would never tell him, or anyone else for that matter, as it seemed a little sacrilegious. But, he was far sexier singing worship songs than any gyrating or body rolls he could ever do. I felt privileged to have this experience, since I knew hardly anyone else (if anyone at all) ever would.

After they sang the three songs from the last service, Rick played the two new songs for the upcoming one so Jaebeom would have a feel for where he was going with them. They also spent a few minutes coordinating their practice schedules. While they were going about that, Sally and I stood and chatted with Rhett for a bit longer, waiting for Jaebeom to wrap up and our little brothers to arrive from their small groups.

I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but there was a weird vibe between Jaebeom and Rhett. The looks they exchanged were anything but friendly and I wasn't sure what started it. I thought I might inquire, but before I could press the issue, my phone sounded that I had a text.

Looking down, I saw that Nate had arranged for the night off from work on Friday and would be down by the beach with his fire spinning and fire breathing friends. Yes, some did breathe fire. Nate was crazy, but not that stupid.

Although I had seen numerous videos and photos of Nate spinning fire, I had yet to have the chance to experience it in person. I was so excited, as I knew Jaebeom was interested in it too, that I just blurted out, "Nate's going to the boardwalk on the beach this Friday to do some fire spinning and wants to know if we can meet him there."

Not remembering that Sally and Rhett were there, I found that Jaebeom and I weren't the only ones interested. Sally, however was disappointed as she couldn't make it. Rhett kind of invited himself along. Well, it's not like I own the beach and boardwalk, so I guess it was okay, after all, I had known him for the better part of a year now and had only see and spoken to him in church. It's not like I was inviting him to become a Chu or anything.

As we were leaving to our car, I heard Daniel laughing at Jaebeom. Turning to find out what it was all about, they both tried to act all innocent. Something was definitely up, but they were like little co-conspirators and wouldn't rat each other out.

We had a late dinner, as usual on Wednesdays, and Daniel headed off to sleep. Jaebeom and I sat on the couch with the laptop going over the song files he had been given by Rick. Sitting there, I felt like I knew what angels sounded like when they sang in heaven as the words were majestic and Jaebeom's voice was surreal.

As we wrapped up the first stage of his music prep for Saturday, including me noting words he needed to learn and work on to improve his pronunciation, I got up from the couch and placed the computer on the video cabinet. Turning back around, I found myself face to face with Jaebeom. He had been standing fairly closely behind me but was crouching down so his face was level with mine. He was looking intently in my eyes and asked, "So is there anything you need to share with me about this Rhett guy?"

"Wh-what?" I stumbled. Blast. I sounded like I was trying to deny something, when I was merely caught off guard by the question.

"Oh," Jaebeom uttered in a deflated tone. "Well, goodnight then."

He turned to go to his room. I reached out to his shoulder, but stopped before actually touching him, letting my hand drop.

"I think everyone was blessed by your voice tonight." I offered, at which he stopped in his progress towards his room.

He stayed still without turning and said in a voice that seemed thick with emotion, "I don't care how others felt. I only care if you felt blessed." Without waiting for a response, he continued to his room.

I was left standing there, not quite sure what to make of all this.

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

Running in the morning with Sharay was usually a relaxing thing, however, today she begged off saying she had a few things to complete around the house, so instead my morning running partner was Daniel. As we took off, I realized this spry kid could quite literally run circles around me. More than once I had to get him to slow down, either that or he ran ahead and then doubled back to run forward with me again.

Sharay had been right. Daniel chatted the entire time. Most of it centered around Minecraft, but as I was feeling extra tired and slowed to a walk half a mile earlier than normal on the return leg of the run, Daniel showed he was a deep thinker and aware of the people and things going on around him.

"What's up with you and Rhett?" he asked. But before I could reply, he added, "You know he's not even on my sister's radar, don'tcha?"

"That's what Sally told me last night, but I'm not on her radar either," I responded gloomily.

"I wouldn't rush to judgment about that if I were you. She takes a while to get to know someone and open up to them. You've been here just a little over a week and have made inroads that people who have known her for years still haven't reached. Just don't pressure her. She doesn't like being put on the spot. Whatever you do, never, I mean ever, call her out on emotions in a public setting. She's very private and any positive feelings she may have would get thrown out in a heartbeat. Understand?"

I grunted assent, so he continued without pausing, "I like you hyung. I don't want to see you screw anything up. I can tell you like my sister and she is totally oblivious. Rhett's been hanging around her during youth group for a while now and she is clueless that he likes her. Now that you're here, don't be surprised if he makes a move. I bet he'll try something tomorrow night and I kinda hope it will backfire. Although I really would like to see Nate spin fire, I'll make some excuse to stay home so you and Sharay can have a chance to talk regardless of whether Rhett tries something or not. Okay?"

Looking down at Daniel, I realized he was wise beyond his years. I reached out and ruffled his hair and challenged him to a race to the house now that we were merely a couple of houses away.

Without so much as blinking, he turned and sprinted towards home. Home. I was starting to think of it that way. I sighed deeply and charged after Daniel knowing it was a futile effort.

And so the day progressed as previous training days had. My vocabulary was growing by leaps and bounds. The nuances of English grammar were getting to be less and less mysterious to me and I was finding that Korean had far fewer words for different things and emotions than English. By midday I decided it was time to start teaching Sharay Korean. She would probably master it in nothing flat with that scary memory of hers and I planned on broaching the subject this evening after dinner.

"After we finish this chapter," I said as inclining my head towards the large Harry Potter book resting on my lap, "I think it's time you start learning some 한글." I stated it as a fact, as I didn't want to give the impression that there was a choice. And so began Sharay's foray into learning my native language.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Friday evening was fast approaching and, much to my surprise, my little brother decided not to join us for a night at the beach watching Nate spin fire. So, Jaebeom and I headed off alone. Hailey was going to meet us there, and Nate would already be setting up. I assumed Rhett would find us there since I hadn't exchanged numbers with him. I hated talking on the phone on a good day, so very few people did have my number. Nate, Hailey, Sally, and Jazzy knew that texting me would be preferred so rarely, if ever, actually called.

Arriving at the beach we found it busier than the last time we were there. Nightlife was teeming, as the oppressive heat let off a bit when the sun started to dip. The sun began to set lighting the sky with splashes of pinks, oranges, blues, and purples.

In the open area in front of the Dairy Queen, Nate and his friends had set up their gear. Nearby some others had spread out a huge sheet of linoleum and were b-boying. I could see Jaebeom's eyes shining at the prospect of joining them later on. Off to the side I saw Rhett approaching. Jaebeom saw him too and, unless light from the setting sun was playing tricks, he was all but glowering at the blond.

The music for the fire spinning was intense and heavy with bass. The rhythm with which Nate maneuvered the pole with blazing ends was hypnotic. Jaebeom was mesmerized by the power and skill he exhibited.

┌──────── ∘°◈°∘ ────────┐

[Nathan Fire Spinning](https://www.facebook.com/nathan.l.christy/videos/10205468484142912)

└──────── °∘ ◈ ∘° ────────┘

**YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE TO CLICK ON THE LINK AND WATCH THIS!!!!**

*Some swearing a towards the very end

"Yugyeom, would love this," he breathed as a particularly intricate maneuver was accomplished. "Never tell him about this or my job will become a nightmare."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

"So what did you think?" Nate asked me.

"Fantastic!" I responded like the 9th Doctor who, like Daniel, had fast become my favorite. Sharay laughed as she was the only one who was quick enough to get the reference.

"Time for you to show your stuff now," Nate challenged me, inclining his head towards those who were b-boying. I didn't need much encouragement. Rhett was duly impressed with Nate, but Nate was with Hailey so his admiration was without restraint. As I took determined steps towards those who were breaking, I could see him getting a bit agitated. Up until this point I hadn't really acknowledged his existence here, now I shouldered my way past him and started engaging those on the parameter of the dance area.

Those who were b-boying would point and call out to others in the crowd as their energy lagged. It was like passing the baton in a relay. The guy who was up just before me was incredible. I was a little concerned since I hadn't warmed up, much less danced much in the last week and a half, but when he called in my general direction, I jumped right in.

Almost immediately, I lost myself in the rhythm and started doing some basic moves, increasing the complexity as I went along. I alternated between power moves reminiscent of some of the martial arts tricking usually done by Jackson and Mark, toprock, downrock, freezes, some donkey kicks, and wrapping up with a kick (one-handed handstand) for a final impression.

As I headed off the dance floor I could see Sharay smiling at me. Then, from next to her, I spotted Rhett who was leaving her side and was walking towards me, blocking her from my view. He clasped by hand, pulling me close to him so we could speak over the volume of the music.

"I know who you are JB," he whispered. "GOT7's leader," he stated as if it was something dirty. "Don't worry, I won't let anyone know your secret as Sharay wouldn't like that, and I'm not about to do anything that would make her upset. I just wanted you to know that I knew."

I looked at him wondering what he was up to, when he added, "You think you have an edge because you are a singer, dancer, and member of a KPOP group. Well let me tell you. What you think is your strength is actually your weakness and my strength."

I wasn't following what he was trying to say, so I said, "Meaning what exactly?"

"You're schedule is hectic, you travel all the time, you're loved by thousands, no make that probably tens of thousands of girls, you live 7,000 mile away with a 13 hour time difference, and in less than five weeks you will be gone." He said these last words slowly and with emphasis. "Sharay is a private person and she's very innocent and naïve when it comes to guys, she's not going to like being at the front of attention or in competition with a gazillion girls. She'll constantly be wondering what you are doing and who you are doing it with. I, on the other hand, will be here by her side. I am patient and steady. You...you will lose," he said with a sneer, and with that he broke his grip on my hand and turned back to Sharay.

As I watched him approach Sharay, I found I couldn't move my feet. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. What he had said was the truth. Who would want a relationship with someone who wasn't around? Heck I didn't like being in the spotlight a lot of the time, and I signed up for this. I could only imagine someone as introverted as Sharay dealing with it. An though I regularly had trouble finding the time to eat and sleep properly, much less date, the impression that i was always surrounded by tons of adoring females was there and could rattle just about anyone, especially if they were on the other side of the world. At that moment, I couldn't see my chances as great. In fact they looked pretty hopeless.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in posting this. I'll get back to posting daily. I ran into some computer gremlins!


	9. Water Bottles and Black Dresses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharay takes care of Jaebeom after he gets burned, then he returns the favor and proves he's boyfriend material in a big way. An insider tip by Daniel cause some problems for Sharay who has to wear something she hates and for Jaebeom who he decides he doesn't want others to see her that way afterall.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was rooted to my spot as I watched Rhett approach Sharay. Though I wasn't right next to them, he spoke loudly enough that I could hear the conversation. It was as if he wanted me to.

"Sharay," he was saying to her, "I've known you for about 10 months now and even though I can't spin fire, sing well, or dance, I want you to know that I have liked you from the moment I first saw you. That first day, I spotted you even before small groups. You were in the sanctuary and I was drawn to you from the start. I know you're a little shy so I was taking my time getting to know you and letting you become accustomed to me being around, but I want you to know straight out that I like you. I'm not going anywhere. Not in five weeks, five months, or five year. My schedule allows me to spend time with you, and I'm not being hounded by a ton of girls." These comments were a pointed jabs at me, I was sure.

Rhett continued, "Two days ago I had planned on asking you out, but my plans were sidetracked. I hope you will give me a chance and go out with me sometime."

As he spoke, Sharay listened. I ran through what he was saying and it finally dawned on me that that he hadn't been right with his assessment. Just then I heard someone shout, "Heads up! - Look out!"

As if in slow motion I saw what was going on. I moved with lightening speed towards Sharay, grabbing her and spinning her around so that I could cover and shield her body with mine, as the errant pole ablaze on both ends came hurtling in her direction.

I was peripherally aware that Rhett had backed up to a safe location, and to my side Nate was making a valiant attempt to grab the pole or at least divert it so it would be less of a direct impact on my body which was currently in the line of fire. Literally in the line of fire.

I was so focused on the girl I was enveloping, that the heat and pain to my exposed left upper arm didn't immediately register. The blazing pole land to my side and away from me, thanks to Nate's swift deflecting of it, so I slowly unwrapped myself from around Sharay to survey her body and confirm she was alright.

"괜찮아," I enquired, and she nodded her head. She was shaken but not singed.

"And you?" she asked, but immediately saw that I wasn't. The patch on my arm where I had been grazed by the flame was already an angry red.

I learned something new. Sharay was excellent in an emergency. She whipped out her cell phone and dialed Sam. "Dad, Jaebeom was burned. Someone lost control and he intercepted the danger so I wouldn't be hit. His arm is all red and it looks pretty nasty. What should I do to give him immediate attention and is there anything you can do to help when we get home?"

While Sharay was having this conversation with Sam, I could hear the more seasoned fire spinners raising Cane at the young guy who had exceeded his level of expertise and who had taken upon himself to do a trick he was ill prepared to handle. Rhett was standing back saying nothing.

After her conversation with Sam, Sharay told me to stay put and dashed off into the Dairy Queen. As I watched her go accomplish whatever Sam had sent her to do, I began to feel the searing pain in my arm. Apparently the nerve endings were finally catching up with the insult caused to my skin.

Chancing a glance at my arm to assess the damage, I became aware of Rhett approaching me. "I could have protected her," he claimed.

"Well you didn't," I replied, not even giving him a glance, but still evaluating what was up with my arm. "In fact, you backed away to protect yourself."

"Are you implying that I'm a coward?"

"No. I'm not implying it at all. I'm stating it as a fact. You backed up well before I reached Sharay." I was getting more and more irritated at him as the seconds ticked past.

"You just had to jump in so she couldn't respond to my asking her out," he stated in an accusatory tone and to deflect from my accusation that he had abandoned Sharay in a dangerous situation. He was in full on self defense mode.

"Don't try to pull that one on me. I had nothing to do with the accident. To suggest otherwise is stretching things, but while we're on the subject of what you were saying to Sharay - you have her all wrong," I countered.

"What do you mean?" Rhett commented, not grasping where I was going.

"For one, Sharay isn't shy; she's cautious. Also what you said to me earlier and were spouting off to her is just BS. Distance and location doesn't mean a thing when it comes to friendship. You've been around her for, what, 10 months and you don't know a thing about her. I might only have known her for eight days, three hours, and if I could look at my watch I could tell you the minutes as well, but I known her. We actually have spent more minutes together talking than you have spend in here presence in almost a year. Sharay wouldn't forget a friend just because she didn't see them regularly. She's loyal, and friendship means something very precious to her. She wouldn't just junk it because of an inconvenience. Your yammering on about me leaving in five weeks and not seeing her again and girls who surround me is just false rhetoric."

I was on a role because the pain was getting intense and I wanted to lash out at Rhett to distract me from it. "You presume way too much. I have the ability and desire to call her all the time, visit from time to time, and if you really understood my schedule and the restriction of my lifestyle, would know that girls rarely, if ever, factor into the equation – on any level.

I continued, "I am loyal to my friends and am just as selective as she is about who I let into my inner cycle and will do everything in my power to protect, nurture, and advance that kind of relationship. Point blank. You are out of line and I will not have my friendship with her, and its viability, defined by you or anyone but Sharay herself. In five weeks I may not be near her physically, but she is here and here..., " at that I touched my heart and my head, "...and that is as close as you can get. Time and distance can't cause of riff." By this point I was fairly yelling at him, my jaw tense and jutting out in the way the rest of the members who emulate to tease me about my temper.

A sharp pain flashed up my arm, so I chanced a glance to see if Sharay was coming back anytime, hoping she would have something to help decrease the extreme discomfort I was feeling. I intended to search for her, only to see her standing in front of me and behind Rhett.

I wondered how much of the conversation she had heard when she spoke up and unceremoniously dismissed Rhett by saying, "You need to leave now. I need to see to my friend and you're in the way." Remind me to never piss of this girl. Her eyes were like daggers and the tenor of her voice showed that she was barely restraining what she really wanted to say to him.

Turning from Rhett to me, Sharay's eyes softened as she surveyed my arm and gently placed a bag of ice on the affected area while noting, "Dad said this would numb the pain for now. He's heading to the office to grab a few things to bring home that will help. He'll meet use there about the time we pull in. Let's go."

Sharay acted as if Rhett didn't exist. I think he was finding himself in a place that was far worse than the friend-zone and I felt a bit bad for the guy – almost. Sharay thanked Nate for minimizing the damage and said goodnight to him and Hailey before guiding me towards our car. I hadn't realized until I began to walk that I was a bit wobbly. Apparently, I was reacting to the enormity of what could have happened to Sharay along with the physical pain of the burn. Sharay anticipated this and offered her support to steady me.

I didn't bother to give Rhett even a backwards glance. No sense rubbing it in. He lost and it was all his own doing. I couldn't gloat though, as I hadn't yet won this girl's heart. There was hope, however, as I was sure I had won her friendship and for now that was enough for me. I knew that would never be forsaken.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I couldn't believe Rhett. He really didn't get that friendship was not about proximity, but rather loyalty and communication. I'd never once thought of him as boyfriend material, but now I was convinced he wouldn't even be a viable friend. His attempt to undermine my friendship with Jaebeom was evident by the bits of conversation I picked up. Had he really tried to convince Jaebeom that I was so shallow that I would not be his friend after he left in five weeks or that Jaebeom was that petty?

My mind was trying to grasp what had been said. Did Rhett think I was so narrow-minded and jealous that I would assume the worse of Jaebeom and the people, especially girls, in his life? Also, who was I to complain if he did have other girls in his life? It's not like I was his girlfriend or had any claim on him. Seriously? I also was highly miffed that he called me shy. He was so wrong about that and yet tried to claim that he had known me longer so knew me better! What was that? Jaebeom had figured me out in no time and, truth be told, we had actually spent more actual time with one another over the past week plus, than I had ever spend with Rhett – ever would spend with him.

Turning to Jaebeom as we walked towards the car, I offered, "Thanks for sacrificing your body to protect me. I'm really sorry you are injured. You know you didn't have to do that, right?"

"Yes. I really had to" he replied. "After all, what are friends for? Besides I just got singed a bit and, between you and Sam, I'm sure to be patched up in no time at all." He gave me a lopsided grin, and one of those crunched up face winks of his, to try and drive home that he was doing fine. I had to smile at this as he looked so darn cute when he did that, and truth be told he looked rather sexy too. I knew, however, that his bravado was a façade as his face contorted in pain right afterwards.

Arriving home, we pulled in right after my dad who had retrieved his cold laser and Synaptic machine from the office. Dad first cleaned and sterilized the wound. Sitting Jaebeom in a chair in his room, Dad set about healing his arm. First, the cold laser device was set up to shine on his arm where he was burned. The two laser probes were clipped into stands so their beams could be trained where most effective, covering as much of the damaged area on his arm as possible. Fortunately, Jaebeom's injury looked to be a 2nd degree burn rather that a 3rd degree one, so hopefully would heal quickly

As the laser was set to emit cold healing light to the damaged tissue, Dad also placed four pads in a square around the reddened area and arranged the electrical connections for each so that the current from the Synaptic machine would pass across the wound in a crisscross pattern. Hooking up these pads to the device, the settings were adjusted so that the nerve endings which had been damage could be, in lay person's terminology, "retrained" as they had become overly sensitive. In short order, Jaebeom acknowledged that the pain had subsided with these ministrations.

Dad cautioned that it would take a while to "recalibrate" the pain receptors, as they were currently hyperactive. This meant Jaebeom had to stay up for a few hours and adjust the machine's input using a hand held device that had a slide bar on it. Knowing it would be boring to work the device, the inclination to fall asleep would be strong now that the stress situation, and pain of the burn was under control, I offered to sit with him and keep him awake.

I was so thankful for Jaebeom saving me from injury, the least I could do was help with his treatment. With the laser working on the damaged tissue and the Synaptic addressing the over excited nerves, I gave him a choice of things to do. Surprisingly, he asked me to read "Bloody Jack: Being An Account of the Curious Adventures of Mary 'Jacky' Faber, Ship's Boy," a historical novel by L.A. Meyer, centered on an orphaned girl in London in the early 19th century. His only additional request was that I do voices for the characters. I was more than happy to oblige, as I both loved the storyline and messing around with accents and voice depictions. Apparently, Jaebeom appreciated my efforts and laughed regularly at the antics of the characters.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was amazed that the pain subsided while using the Synaptic device. I trusted Sam's promise of complete healing between that and the laser would come to pass. Settling in for a long night of therapy, I had the pleasure of being regaled with the antics of Jacky Faber as she disguised herself as a boy to escape the devastating poverty of an orphan child in London during the early 19th century. Sharay's use of voices and accents really brought the story to life and made me appreciate that her skills were on par with the expert actors who voiced the recordings for Harry Potter and other books we had been working with.

It was tedious working the hand-held synaptic device, so the entertainment provided by Sharay helped keep me on task. After an hour or more of reading, I could tell Sharay was getting tired and her voice was giving out. Daniel, TJ, and Sam had already turned in for the night, so there was no one to spell her in keeping me alert. Feeling badly that she was fighting to stay awake, I suggested she lay on my bed for a bit and close her eyes to rest a while.

I think the shock of almost being smacked and burned by a flaming rod, my getting injured, and her disappointment in Rhett, and the amount of reading she had done finally caught up to her. Almost as soon as her head hit my pillow, she was out like a light. I stayed up an additional three hours ministering to my wound, but my attention was on the sleeping girl who was resting on my bed. At 4am, I unhooked the electrical connections from the pads on my arm from the Synaptic machine, turned off the laser, and found that there was very little residual discomfort to the burned area.

Careful not to bump my injured arm, I scooped Sharay up in my arms and carried her to her own bed. Placing her down, I admired her ability to sleep so soundly. I untied her shoes before pulling her covers up over her body, and gently leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. Though I longed for more, I was not one to take advantage. Besides, when and if I were ever afforded the chance to kiss her, I wanted her full assent and mutual involvement in the intimacy. With one last look, I retreated to my own bed.

Crawling into my bed, I reflected on the day's events and decided all things being equal I wouldn't change a thing, burn and all. I had solidified my relationship with Sharay and dispensed of any potential competition from Rhett all in one fell swoop. As I slid into sleep I was acutely aware that my pillow was now scented with the vanilla and apple scent from Sharay's hair and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I awoke Saturday and skipped my run as I slept a little too late. I readied myself in time to be dropped off at church by TJ on her way to picking up her mother, but got in no cognitive training or language study. Fortunately, the searing pain on my arm had subsided to a tolerable level of discomfort. I knew additional therapy would be in order tonight after church, but was able to practice with Rick and the rest of the worship team and focus on signing during the service without any trouble.

After church, Sam set me back up with the two machines, but this time in the living room so we could all enjoy some time together after dinner. Sharay and I later transitioned back into our regular routine of night time reading after everyone else went to sleep, and Sunday followed the same pattern of the prior week.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I was so glad Dad knew how to heal burns. I recall him telling me about the time Mom seriously burned her hand on a hot muffler, so when I placed the initial call to him, I was confident he would set Jaebeom up so he could heal fast and decrease his pain. Nonetheless, I felt somewhat responsible that he was injured. After all, had he not tried to protect me, he would never have been hurt. As such, I was more than happy to entertain him with some thrown together voice acting while reading him a story.

After an hour or so my voice started giving out on me and Jaebeom suggested I rest for a moment. I really had only intended to close my eyes for a moment, only to awaken the next morning in my own bed without any recollection of how I got there or how my shoes found themselves neatly placed at the side of my bed. Either I had taken to sleep walk or Jaebeom had carried me to bed. I wasn't sure how I felt about either of those options.

Arriving at church without Jaebeom, I awaited his singing. For some reason, I felt the desire to raise my hands in praise for the first time ever. Maybe it was his angelic voice and the feeling he put into the song, but I was almost moved to tears and that was a very rare occurrence as I hated the feeling of being out of control. Within moments of him singing, my grandmother was a converted IGOT7!

Before my parents went to bed on Sunday, we were informed they would both be gone the following day so I was going to be in charge of Jaebeom's training Monday. As I got ready for bed, I jotted down a few ideas.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Monday I awoke to a very quiet house, TJ, Sam, and Daniel having all left in the early hours. I padded out to the kitchen for something to drink only to spot Sharay curled up in a ball on the couch moaning in half sleep.

"Are you okay?" I asked, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

Incoherent groans emitted from her form as she shifted positions. "Give me a minute, will ya?" she offered, not looking like a minute would be near enough time.

"Can I get you anything? Do you need a doctor?" I pried a bit further, concerned as she was grabbing her stomach and all but writhing in pain. All I could think of was appendicitis.

Finally, Sharay stumbled to her feet, hastily threw on some shoes and edged her way to the front door mumbling something about being right back.

"You're not going anywhere young lady!" I informed her, and with very little effort turned her back towards the couch where she flopped with a groan. "Just where did you think you were heading in your condition?"

"Family Dollar," she said referring to the store around the corner.

"If you need something, tell me and I'll go get it," I offered.

Sharay looked up at me with a mixture of horror and mirth. "You're going to go to the store and buy tampons for me?!" I think through the pain she was trying to figure out if she should be embarrassed or if she should laugh at the thought of me doing that shopping for her.

"I have no problem with that," I stated more confidently than I felt and headed for the door.

"Wait!" she called after me. "It might help if you know what to get."

Looking back at here, it dawned on me I had started for the door without a clue what was involved in the purchase. "Enlighten me then."

"Go to my parent's bathroom. There's an empty box on the cabinet by the toilet. I need a box of those, please," she said turning a pretty shade of pink and handing me the $10 bill clutched in her hand.

I quickly did a side trip to the bathroom before heading out to the store, snapped a photo of the box so I could get the right brand and size and left the house. As I walked to the store, I figured I finally was well past the casual friend stage with this particular purchase under my belt. Whether she admitted it or not, this was boyfriend material right here. That or older brother extraordinaire. I was shooting for the former.

Walking into the Family Dollar I set out to find the right tampons. I surreptitiously doubled check the picture before settling on a particular box and headed to the register where the cashier gave me a gentle smile and a raised eyebrow. I confidently smiled like I did this kind of thing all the time and departed for home.

It took Sharay a couple of hours, a hot shower, some Magnesium, and both Tylenol and Motrin before she began to feel better. She seemed a bit embarrassed, so I decided not to tease her. This girl was persistent. You could tell she was in agony for a good bit of the time, yet even though we started our training a bit later than usual, we still accomplished a fair bit of work.

By after late afternoon, Sharay was double up again. This time I couldn't just sit idly by while she suffered. I darted off to the Family Dollar again and purchased a water bottle that had a fuzzy grey hippo cover with little hearts on the cheeks. I had hoped to get her one that was her favorite color, yellow, but since they didn't have any, I settle for this as it was the cutest.

Returning home I found Sharay had fallen into a fitful sleep. I filled up the water bottle with warm water and eased it under her shirt to rest against her stomach. I was relieved to see her face relax and show signs of relief after about 15 minutes. I sat on the floor near the couch so I could check on her frequently. I reheated the water and repositioned the bottle twice more before she stirred.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

If I hadn't been in so much discomfort that I felt nauseous, I would have been mortified by the fact that I had not planned for my period and resorted to having Jaebeom go and purchase tampons for me. As it was, I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I was just thankful for his offer and decided I would address the humiliation when I was feeling better.

I was able to rally for about three hours of training and then succumbed to the pain once again. I was really beyond caring how pathetic I looked by this point and was peripherally aware of his ministrations with a water bottle. Had I wanted to, I couldn't have prevented him from adjusting my shirt and sweat pants to position it on my abdomen. As it was, it was a blessed comfort and I only wished I could have been able to articulate my appreciation as that was a greater emotion than humiliation by that point.

"I'm sorry," I was finally able to murmur rather meekly, discovering that he had even cooked up some ramen for the two of us.

"Why are you sorry?" he offered. "It's not like you did it on purpose or had any control over it. I'm just glad I was here to help. I'd hate to think about you left alone like that."

Smiling at me with concern, Jaebeom served the ramen to me on a tray, while I pulled myself to a sit on the couch. I had the fleeting thought that he would make someone a great boyfriend and husband and quickly pushed that vision away knowing that such thinking was asking for heartache and disappointment. I was thankful that I usually only suffered like this for one or two days at the most.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Wednesday approached quickly, and I had the new songs for Sunday under my belt and was looking forward to the practice session with Rick after youth group. In the back of my mind I wondered if Rhett would be present and how that interaction would unfold. I had to snicker thinking how he would have handled the whole tampon situation and figured he would have melted into a juvenile heap at the prospect. This gave me some comfort even though it was at his expense.

After service, during the social time, we headed to the portable building. Sure enough Rhett showed up, but he wouldn't make eye contact with me and all but ignored Sharay. I almost told him to man up and admit his mistake, but decided to let him deal with it himself. After all, I was personally glad he was distancing himself from Sharay, as it would be one less thing I would have concern about after I returned to Korea.

Friday was a great night with the Chu's at Sharay's. During our conversation I discovered that during the school year Sharay and Daniel went to a ballroom dancing class on Thursdays and that once a month they had a dance on Saturday evening where friends could attend. Though they were off for the summer, the instructor was hosting a dance the upcoming Saturday. Plans were made for all of us to attend.

Somehow or other, as the evening progressed, we got into a game of truth or dare and at one point it was Sharay's turn and she chose dare. Since it was my turn to assign her task, I dared her to let me select her dress for the dance and do her makeup. Though she informed me that she only had one suitable dress, her brother ratted her out and informed us that she had several but only chose to wear the one.

Daniel gave me a nudge and whispered it was an early Christmas present from him to me and also mentioned that he wouldn't be attending as he had made plans to spend the evening playing on line with some of his friends. He winked at me while saying this. Have I mentioned how I love that kid?

Before the night was out, Hailey raided Sharay's closet and dragged out four different evening dresses. One was a classic little black dress but with a flared skirt that came to about mid thigh. A second dress was a beautiful green that highlighted Sharay's green eyes while a third was a blue dress that was nice but nothing special. The final dress though, was the one I wanted to see her in.

It was a black floor length gown with one shoulder that was bare and a single strap on the other side. It was designed to be form fitting, with a kick pleat that ran from floor to mid thigh, just to the left of center. From the right strapless side across the top to the single shoulder strap and down the full length of the gown, the dress was enhanced by a stream of small silver shimmery like jewels imbedded into the material. I could already imagine Sharay's athletically toned body in this.

In addition to the dress I was going to do her makeup. Though I loved her fresh face and makeup free approach, I wondered what she would look like with a touch of mascara, some strategically placed eye shadow, and a hit of lip color. This would probably be my one and only chance. I was going to make the most of it.

I don't think I really focused on much of the rest of the evening in anticipation of the dance following service the next night. We would have to hustle after the service as we would have to return home, get made up and dressed, and even then we would be running a bit late.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I was very glad not to have to interact with Rhett on Wednesday as I was inclined to give him a piece of my mind now that I wasn't distracted by an injured friend. He also didn't ask what we were up to over the weekend, which was just as well as there was no way he would ever be invited to join the Chu's; not for even one night.

Speaking of the Chu's we had an anime night on Friday, but somewhere over the course of the evening Daniel shifted the focus to a game of truth or dare. I was suspicious that he was up to something when he also mentioned the dance on Saturday- the dance he had no plans to attend. When I was my turn and Jaebeom was the one asking me truth or dare, I was a little worried about what he might ask me in the way of truth so opted for dare, not realizing the danger I was placing myself in.

I was overconfident thinking a dare would be less problematic that truth, but I was sorely mistaken as he launched into some makeover mission for the following night's dance. To my horror, that little rat brother of mine let it be known that I had several viable dresses. I thought by makeover I might have to put on some makeup, but Jaebeom had a different interpretation. He was convinced that he was going to be my makeup artist and stylist. With Hailey raiding my closet, and him choosing that full-length form-fitting black dress that was beyond revealing, I was really dreading the dance.

After church on Saturday, we rushed home. Jaebeom said he would do my makeup first as he needed to do a bit of experimentation. He'd done his own prior to church, but knew I wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

Who knew a guy could have so much make up or be such an expert with it! Guess it goes with being an idol. Since I didn't see that side of him often, it was a bit disarming.

I was not exactly comfortable having him do my mascara and eye shadow, but I have to say, other than being in such close proximity to his face, which made it a little challenging to breath regularly, he was gentle and moved swiftly so it didn't take all that long. I reluctantly admitted that whatever magic he had done with my eyes made the color of them stand out even more than usual. When he went to put on my lipstick, I about had a heart attack as he was so close I could breathe in his breath.

Once he was done, I quickly left to get into the hated slinky black dress and Jaebeom went to put on a suit. Knowing he would be done long before me, he offered to wait for me in the car so he could get the AC running and allow us to decrease the amount of time we would be tardy.

As I exited the house and walked towards the car, Jaebeom was standing by the passenger door waiting to let me in. He looked every bit the Kpop idol with his red suit and black shirt. His eyes were heavily shadowed, so I guess he had added a touch more after finishing with me since it was more obvious than what he had on during church. He looked every bit the edgy bad boy.

Jaebeom looked up with a sly grin already in place, when I noticed his smile falter. I wasn't sure what I had done wrong, but assumed he was dissatisfied with the dress. I tipped my head, ashamed and not wanting him to see how disappointed I was that I hadn't met his expectations.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Applying makeup to Sharay's face was an effort in self control. Being that close and touching her face to steady my hand as I drew on the eyeliner was nerve-wracking. I was sure she would be able to hear the pounding of my heart given our close proximity, but she seemed, thankfully, oblivious.

Her lashes were incredibly long and a touch of mascara allowed their length to show, whereas without it the blond tips made them look an average length. The eye shadow I selected made the green of her eyes just glow like flashes of light. I was having my doubts about the wisdom of highlighting the features that were usually only noticeable by the few who were afforded the luxury of being physically close to her. I was feeling a little possessive and mildly reluctant to share with others the beauty I knew her to be. But, in for a penny, so I pressed on.

Putting on her lipstick about undid me as I had to focus without succumbing to the urge to kiss her. Having her lips slightly parted so I could properly apply the color, I was close enough to share her breath and about lost it. By this time, I was sure she aware of my rather unsuccessful efforts to control my breathing. It was with a mixture half gladness I was done and a desire to draw things out that I finished. Once done, I rapidly excused myself, dressed in a suit, applied a bit more eyeshade to my own eyes, and headed out to the car to start the engine and the AC.

I threw the car in neutral and made sure the handbrake was engaged. Getting out I walked over to the passenger side to make sure the seat was far enough back for Sharay's long legs. I felt it only appropriate to hold the door for her so remained there waiting for her. As I heard the front door open and the click of her heels signaling her approach, I couldn't help but smile. Looking up though, my smile faltered. It took everything I had not to drop my jaw on the floor and drool.

Sharay had been smiling but just as our eyes met, she dropped her gaze and her forward progress slowed. I forced my feet to move in her direction, gently reaching out as I neared her with my left hand. I tilted her chin, tipping her head up, so her eyes met mine. She looked fearful, and I couldn't fathom why.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," she managed.

"For what?" I really had no clue why she would be sorry. I was truly baffled by her response.

"For not meeting your expectation. I guess the dress looks better on the hanger," she offered. "Isn't that why you stopped smiling?"

At this, I threw back my head and laughed in relief. I had been worried over nothing. To think she thought I was disappointed, when nothing could be further from the truth.

"Whatever are you talking about? You look drop dead gorgeous. In fact, I was so stunned I can barely think straight. Can I just take in how you look for a moment and then send you in to change into the black dress with the loose flowing skirt? I don't think I want anyone else to see you this way. I kind of want to keep the way you look right now just for my eyes only."

I was sure my eyes were sparkling as I said this, since I couldn't stop grinning like a fool.

"Excuse me?" she asked incredulously.

I may have tipped my hand a bit too much, so I offered, "Why don't you change into the dress you usually wear to the dances. I'm sure you'll be more comfortable that way. I'll wait here for you."

I didn't need to ask twice. Sharay turned on her heels and bolted back into the house to change. While I waited for her, I crouched down trying to regain my composure and control over my body. I had a feeling tonight was going to be a challenge. I was already struggling with the idea of holding her close during a dance. What had I gotten myself into?

As I closed my eyes, the memory of the way that dressed hugged her body and left nothing to the imagination was as close to self-induced torture as one can get. I shook my head to try and dislodge the vision. I was seriously reconsidering the wisdom of Daniel's prodding from the night before and my blind faith in following his promptings.

 

 


	10. Ice Cream, Aegyo, and Zippers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharay pulls back as she has concerns about how she would be able to be a part of Leader JB's world.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I wasn't sure whether to believe Jaebeom's words or my own insecurities about that black dress, but in the end I didn't care as long as I didn't have to wear it. I turned on my heels and dashed for the house and quickly donned my standard black dress, asking my mom to zip me up, just before darting back out to the car.

Jaebeom was squatting down with his eyes closed. His forehead was furrowed and he clearly looked perturbed. As I approached, he looked up, gave me a wistful smile, and then stood to his full height.

"Just as beautiful, but you look more comfortable," he commented, before opening the car door for me.

I got in and reached for the seat belt, only to find that he already had it in hand and was stretching across me to fasten it. As usual, when he caught me off guard with his proximity, I felt my heart thud a bit faster and louder than normal. Part of me wished he would stop doing things like that as it made me think about him as a man, which I knew was a place I should never go. Another part of me longed for the moments when he initiated some skinship.

After hooking me up, he retreated to the driver's seat and we headed out to the dance. The drive started out with both of us being quiet. I never minded those times, as I felt comfortable just being in Jaebeom's presence. I hoped he felt the same about me.

"So, are there any girls like Alyssa that I should know of before we get there," Jaebeom finally asked.

"Not really sure," was my reply. "Most of them have danced with these same guys for years and, though I haven't seen any craziness, thus far they haven't been exposed to anyone quite like you."

"What exactly does _that_ mean?" he pushed for an explanation.

"Well you do look every bit like JB of GOT7 tonight and not my friend Jaebeom. It's different. It's like you have several personalities and this one is way more intense. I wouldn't be surprised if it causes a bit of a stir," was all I could offer before I shut my mouth.

"Is it good or bad?" he asked, sounding a bit concerned.

I think I might have waited a bit too long to respond. How was I going to tell him that I felt comfortable with Jaebeom, but very intimidated and off kilter when I saw the leader of GOT7 emerge. "Like I said. It's different," I meekly offered up, not really addressing his question.

"Oh," was his noncommittal response, and we continued in silence for a little bit after that.

I finally broke the tension by telling him, "Our instructor, Ms Karen, has a rule that since there are always more guys than girls that the guys have to dance with all the girls."

"Wait!" I was nearly put through the front windshield as Jaebeom braked overly hard. "I'm not going to be dancing with just you?"

"It's probably just as well. Most of the others have being doing ballroom dance way longer than I have and will help you with the steps. I would be of little assistance anyway."

At this Jaebeom laughed. "You think I don't know how to ballroom dance? Did you really forget what I do for a living? It's not all b-boying and hip hop you know." He continued with fake indignation. "You know I have been professionally trained as a dancer. Heck, we even had to learn ballet, but if you tell anyone that I'll have to kill you! I think the only idols who will admit to doing ballet are Kai and Donghae, but they are such strong dancers that they can pull it off and not lose their man card."

Imagining Jaebeom doing ballet was something that had never crossed my mind and without warning the giggle I was suppressing surfaced with a guffaw and a snort.

"What's so funny?" he charged.

"Oh I was just envisioning you and the other members wearing tights and tutus." I was full on laughing at this point, with tears of mirth probably messing up the makeup job Jaebeom had done on my eyes. I finally regained control, somewhat at any rate, and could hear Jaebeom grunting in indignation.

"Well," he offered, "I'll just have to see about changing the rules. Is there anything I could possibly use to convince Ms. Karen to change her mind when it comes to whom I dance with?"

I thought for a little while and finally settled on sharing that she was a perfectionist and very competitive. At that I could see him smile brightly and nod his head.

"I've a plan."

I was wondering what the plan would be when I remembered something. "Jaebeom, there's this one guy there, Tim. He's a bit of a creepazoide. It's not just with me, but if he asks me to dance, please rescue me from a second round. He'll be easy to spot as he will probably come right up and introduce himself when we arrive. He thinks he's like the official greeter or something. He's a bit of a suck up. Just, whatever you do, don't comment on the cape, black trench coat, or the fedora. If you do that, he'll think you like it and will be glued to you the rest of the night."

"A cape _and_ a trench coat?" Jaebeom asked in disbelief.

"Yep. Oh and the girl he was courting just dumped him, so he is on the lookout for a new victim, I mean future bride. He's the kind of guy who gives home schoolers a bad reputation, if you know what I mean." I offered this while shaking my head sadly.

"What exactly is courting?" Jaebeom asked, unfamiliar with the old-fashioned term.

"It's kind of like dating, but with the intent to get married from the get go. In Tim's case he takes it a bit far. I think that's what scared his girlfriend away. She was actually really sweet. They were together for about three months. In his mind it was four months as it took a month from when he asked her parents if he could court her before he got around to letting her know that's what he was doing," I chortled at the thought.

"He spoke to the parents even before seeing if the girl even liked him? That's a little unusual isn't it? I mean, getting parental permission is common in Korea, but usually the guy and girl at least know there is a common interest first. He wouldn't, like, ask your parents' permission to court you first would he?" asked a rather concerned Jaebeom.

"I'd like to be a fly on the wall if he tried that. My parents would just laugh him out of the house. They know him and how I feel about him. He used to come to anime night, though he was never a Chu. He sort of invited himself. It was awkward to say the least, as he really didn't understand half of what was going on. As for asking to court me, I don't think he ever would because sarcasm is my second language and he doesn't understand it and he knows that much. Also, my parents would never push me into a relationship, ever. They may try to dissuade me, but they would never push."

I got the impression Jaebeom was giving what I said some thought, when he continued, "So are you more likely to date someone or be courted?

"Neither actually. I think both have their flaws. I don't see the point of dating until I'm ready to get married. My friends who date, like Hailey and Nate, always tell me about the struggles with keeping an appropriate distance romantically. Since neither are ready to marry, it seems they are asking for trouble or frustration or both. Courting seems too pretentious. Though I'm not ready to marry now, I can see myself married someday. I look at my parents and see how they are and want something like that. They're each other's best friend. They met in college after hanging out with each other in a group for a few years. They never really 'dated'; they just changed the dynamics of their relationship over time. That seems more natural to me."

Again there was silence from Jaebeom for a while, then he offered, "Marrying your best friend sounds like a really great idea. I could go for that."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As Sharay approached the car, I hoped I had been able to get myself calmed down, in more ways than one. I stood to greet her and realized that even this dress made her shine. Who was I kidding, my heart fluttered and I was wrecked just being near her when she wore oversized T-shirts, an Army jacket and baggy sweats, her figure was just less in my face with those clothes. Truth be told, though I found her physically attractive, it was more than that.

I'm not sure why I lingered as she slid into the passenger seat. Maybe I liked to torture myself. What other reason could there be to reach across her and fasten her seat belt. It's not like she was incapable of doing it herself.

The drive to the dance was peppered with interesting conversation. From Sharay saying that I was like two different people: Jaebeom and JB. People had implied that to me before, but since I wasn't her bias as JB, I wasn't keen on playing that role around her. I was none too pleased to learn that I couldn't just dance with her tonight, and upon learning a little about the instructor's personality, vowed to find a way around her rule that the guys had to dance with all the girls. This might take the leadership skills of JB!

As Sharay questioned my ballroom dancing skills, and outright laughed at the thought of me in tights and a tutu, the conversations shifted to Tim. I was already annoyed that there was yet another guy in her life that had been hanging out with her for a while, even though it was clear that she had no interest in him. I was determined to be her knight in shining armor by keeping him at bay. I was wondering if she was pulling my leg about the cape, trench coat, and fedora, but given her straight face, gathered she really meant it.

The part of the conversation I really focused in on was her thoughts about dating and courting. Though I wasn't familiar with courting as a term, I was able to glean that Sharay was not ready to marry and, as such not inclined to date or court at this time. That was a bit disappointing to me, but I reasoned that meant if she wasn't showing interest in me, it may have more to do with timing than not liking me.

When she shifted to talking about her folks, I saw where I needed to focus my attention. She wanted to marry her best friend and have a naturally progressing relationship. Okay. Best friend goals would be my focus from now on. I was going to make sure no one could be a better best friend than I could be.

Arriving at the dance, we found we were a few songs late for the start. Sharay and I approached Ms. Karen to offer our apologies for being late. She spotted Sharay first and immediately honed in on her makeup.

"Wow! Sharay you wore makeup! It looks really nice. Not too much, but it really enhances your features. I didn't know you knew how to apply it, much less do such a great job," exclaimed Ms. Karen, a petite and rather fierce looking lady. She was in her late forties with dark brown hair that was pulled back severely from her face.

"I didn't do it," clarified Sharay about the makeup. "So this is a one and only time it will ever happen. Jaebeom did it for me."

At that she indicated me, so I reached out to shake Ms Karen's hand. I gave her a polite bow and offered, "Good evening. I'm Im Jaebeom. I'm visiting from Korea for a few weeks. Thank you for affording me the chance to attend your dance."

Ms. Karen raised her eyebrows and then furrowed them as if trying to recall something, then her face lit up and she pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through it for a quick moment. "Ah ha! You're from this group right?" She held up her phone to show me the YouTube link to a live rendition of "Q" that focused on me.

I was quite taken aback. I was trying to figure out how she even knew about GOT7 when she supplied the answer, "TJ sent this to me a few months back thinking it would make a great song for the kids to dance to. She also sent me one called "Swing" by Super Junior and "Something" by TVXQ."

I nodded, but offered, "My being here is a bit of a secret, as I am studying English as a surprise for my fans and band mates. You're a professional; I trust you understand the sensitivity of the situation."

I was setting the stage to manipulate her in to letting me dance only with Sharay, but she was very sharp and immediately responded, "Confidentiality will be no problem, but what is it you want? I know you're buttering me up for something."

"Ah. That makes things easier," I offered. "No need to beat around the bush then. Since I am only here for a few weeks, I would really like to spend as much as my time as I can with Sharay, and though I appreciate your rule for guys dancing with all the girls here, I wish to only dance with her and one other person."

"One other person? And who would that be?" Karen asked again with that raised eyebrow that I would discover was a trademark for her.

"Why you, of course! I figure a little bartering would be appropriate under the circumstances. How about if I dance adequately well with you, you in turn will grant my wish to dance with only Sharay for the remainder of the evening."

"You sound very confident for someone so young who doesn't, if I don't miss my bet, dance ballroom on a regular basis," Karen quipped, but I could tell her interest was piqued.

"How about I sweeten the deal and offer to dance something I regularly do at the end of the evening as well? Of course, everyone would have to be sworn to keep it a secret and not take photos or video," I said reeling her in.

"Deal," she said, so I wasted no time and offered her my hand and we stepped onto the dance floor.

Fortunately for me, Daniel had told me which five main dances took place during this type of evening and before turning in last night, I'd gone online and done a quick review of some of the steps. I was confident in my skills, but the perfectionist in me wanted to make sure. I was glad I did, as that was when I thought I would merely be dancing with Sharay and before I had to create this elaborate plan to woo the instructor with my dancing prowess to avoid being farmed out to each of the many girls present this evening.

Thankfully, JYP was a stickler for foundational skills, hence the ballet and ballroom lessons. With last night's review, I was able to add in a little razzle-dazzle to sweeten the pot and cinch the deal with Karen. By the time the song was over, she was glowing with pleasure and gave me a curt nod, gestured towards Sharay with her hand, and walked off the dance floor.

I made a quick beeline to Sharay and offered her my hand. She looked at me with what I hoped with glowing admiration, took my hand and we proceeded to tackle a rumba.

Sharay was light on her feet and was easy to lead. She smiled and laughed as we covered the dance floor. After several songs, we took a quick break.

"You are full of surprises Mr. Im," she offered. "You took me through some steps that were way more intricate that I have ever tried before, yet the way you led me made me feel like I knew what I was doing. I knew you were an excellent dancer, but I have a whole new appreciation for all the training you've been through and your inherent skills."

I was caught off guard by Sharay's blunt compliment and thrilled that I could exceed her expectations at least in this area. I went to compliment her on her dancing, which was fluid, a rarity when dancing with someone for the first time, when we were interrupted abruptly by a tall, thin strawberry-blond.

"Hello. I don't think we've met before. I'm Timothy. Sharay calls me Tim, but she's the only one."

Inwardly I cringed. He actually thought that being called Tim was an endearment, when I could tell from how Sharay said his name it was more of a dis than anything else.

"Jaebeom," I offered as an introduction without elaboration.

"You know that you're supposed to dance with all the girls. I'm sure Sharay explained the protocol to you. You've danced with her for five songs now, so it's time to switch partners," Tim tried to sound authoritative, but came across as though his favorite toy had been misappropriated, and made to grab Sharay's hand.

"Those rules don't apply to me," I interjected, as I grabbed his hand and forcefully extricated Sharay from his grip. With a wink, which I knew would rattle him, I followed up by adding, "I'm the exception. Ask Karen if you don't believe me."

With that I held out my hand, not wanting Sharay to think I was forcing her to do anything against her will like Tim had done. She smiled up at me and reached for me and we spent the rest of the evening alternating between dancing and standing to watch others move on the dance floor.

As the night's event drew to a close, Karen gave me a nod and beckoned me to come to her. Time to fulfill my other part of the bargain. I was a touch concerned that Tim would not comply with any request to keep my being here a secret, but then was reassured by the thought that he probably didn't have any friends to tell it to anyway and relaxed into the idea of performing.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I had danced with some good dancers before, at least I had thought they were good, but compared to Jaebeom they were all clods. No wonder Ms. Karen had acquiesced to his request. He surely had impressed her with his trip around the dance floor with her. The way he handled Tim was with deft swiftness. There was zero doubt as to who was in control.

Dancing with Jaebeom made me feel like I knew more than I did. He effortlessly guided me with his left arm and a slight, but confident pressure on my lower back with his right hand. He turned me and maneuvered me with smooth confidence. For a fleeting moment my mind drifted to how he would be as a lover, knowing what he wanted and taking me to places I never even dreamed of. I was thankful that, as this thought sprung to my mind, he was already on his way to talk with Karen about the final dance he had promised.

"Okay everyone listen up. You know how I am about following my rules and what happens if you dare break them" She continued without pause, expecting assent rather than asking for it. "You are instructed to keep what is about to happen a complete secret. You may tell your parents, but inform them first that they are under the same moratorium not to tell anyone else. No friends, no social media, no videos, no photos, no anything will be allowed."

With that she turned to Jaebeom, who had hooked up his iPod to the sound system. "Shall I do the introductions?" she offered, to which she received a nod of ascent.

"This is Im Jaebeom. He is visiting Sharay's family for English studies," Karen began. "Many of you, no doubt saw him on the dance floor. I am sorry to say that only Sharay and I had the pleasure of dancing with him, as he is a flawless professional and you would have really known what it was to dance ballroom had you experienced dancing with him. Anyway, I digress. He not only knows how to dance ballroom, he is a professional dancer and singer and has kindly offered to dance for us this evening. The caveat is that it must be a secret that he was here, so before he begins, if you don't think you can comply, you may leave now."

Karen paused to see if anyone was moving towards the door. When there were no takers, she continued, "He is here undercover, if you will, as he is the leader of the Kpop group GOT7. His stage name is JB. I hope you give him your attention now as he affords us the opportunity of seeing him perform." As she began applauding, she threatened as an afterthought, "And if you break confidence you know I will come after you."

Everyone in the room knew that looks could be deceiving. Though Karen was a petite lady, she was fierce and not to be defied. As she offered her last warning like a full blown promise of death at her hands if anyone shared about Jaebeom being here, the music began.

Jaebeom had selected "If You Do" as his song choice. The strength of his movements, the footwork, his facial expressions, and voice caused more than a dozen girls, and no less than a few boys, to fall for him on the spot. Though I had seen him in concert and at a fan meeting before, both times had been in the nosebleed section, so I had never had the opportunity of seeing his dancing up close like this. Though I had heard him sing in the kitchen and about the house, there was a difference between that and this performance. That seemed personal, while this was really for everyone in the room. I reflected that had I seen him this up close and personal in concert, JB may very well have been on my bias list with all the others of GOT7, but now that could never happen since he was Jaebeom to me and not JB the idol.

Finishing up, "JB" was given a deafening applause and the group swarmed him to get a bit closer to this idol in their midst. I held back watching the scene unfold before me and realized this was just a microcosm of what his world was really like and felt rather distant and removed from him in that moment. I wondered how it would be possible to keep our friendship when he was no longer right here, but engrossed in the busy schedule that usually overtook his days and nights. Though I was saddened by the thought, due to selfish reasons, I also recognized really for the first time that this was not just a part of who Jaebeom was, but was actually more who he was than the guy who ran with me in the morning, read books in the evening, and was learning English.

As I pondered these things, I realized that performing gave him oxygen. He really shined and came to life when dancing and singing for an audience, regardless of the size. To remove that aspect of him would be to kill him and who he really was and would deny so many the pleasure of what he could offer them. Wistfully, I thought it was a good thing that I hadn't acknowledged the feelings I knew where struggling to break out when I was with him, and resolved to keep any thoughts and emotions in check, as they would surely cause me nothing but heartache.

After a few minutes, Jaebeom extricated himself from those surrounding him, begging off offers to have coffee, exchange numbers, and myriad other attempts to extend their time and connection with him.

"Sharay's parents are expecting us home shortly, so thank you all for your kindness. It was great meeting you." Giving a knowing nod to Karen who returned his smile with a silent applause, Jaebeom turned to leave, but not before spotting Tim, to whom he quietly commented so no one else could hear, "Lose the cape and scrap the trench coat, but keep the hat, unless you want everyone to laugh at you behind your back." He gave Tim a genuine smile and patted him on the back indicating that he was not being mean but trying to offer a little brotherly advice. With that, he took my hand in his and led me towards the door.

As we got outside, I extricated my hand from his and turned to Jaebeom. I wasn't sure what to say, so I erred on the side of silence and continued to the car. Like a gentleman he opened the door for me, but before he could reach for the seat belt, I told him. "I can manage thanks." I felt the need to push him away, as if that would help if I did it now on my terms rather than having it happen against my will in a few short weeks.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Dancing with Sharay afforded me more skinship than I would have dared dream to have otherwise. Though I knew that I was more advanced a dancer, she was smooth and rhythmic in her steps and followed my lead with ease. I felt as though we two moved as one without misstep. For a split second, I imagined leading this innocent girl through her first kiss, gently coaxing her response to my mouth and encouraging her body to respond to mine, and envisioned that the feeling of being one would be even more pronounced as we shared breath and passion.

I was reluctant to admit that the evening was coming to an end, but I intended to fulfill my promise to Karen and when the logistics of the situation were addressed, I launched into dancing and singing to "If You Do." As was normal when I performed, I gave my all and focused on the audience as a whole, but found pretty quickly that I was really only dancing for a single person in the room and wondered if I would ever be able to perform the same without thinking she was listening or watching, even if online or from far off seats in a giant auditorium where I was deprived of the chance to see her response.

After finishing up, I found myself in a familiar situation where I was swarmed by the audience. Peripherally I was aware that Sharay had retreated to the far edges of the group. I couldn't discern what she was thinking by the expression on her face, but hoped it was something positive. As we departed, I decided to be a big brother to Tim. God only knows he needed some help, and anything I could offer in a few moments, wouldn't make a big enough impact to make him a rival, so I offered a quiet recommendation to ditch the "Sword Art Online" and flasher look. To soften the blow I acknowledged that the hat would be a viable accessory, after all who was I to comment about hats when I wore bucket caps on a regular basis?

As I took Sharay's hand, I was feeling really great, but the bottom dropped out when we exited the building. She withdrew her hand from mine and I could feel her pull back emotionally as well. I was a little shell shocked, coming down off the high of the night, and it really stung when she rebuked me for helping her with her seat belt. I didn't want to end the night like this. Daniel had already warned that Sharay held grudges and I wasn't sure what I had done wrong, but I didn't want whatever it was to take root.

"We need to talk," I stated, not offering room for discussion. So before she could say anything and prior to pulling out of the parking lot, I got out my phone. "TJ, we're leaving the dance right now, but I was wondering if it would be a problem if Sharay and I stayed out a bit longer. Maybe catch a coffee or ice cream?"

TJ was definitely the cool mom who had no trouble giving us the go ahead. Much like JYP, she was flexible as long as she was kept in the loop. I felt that was really important, after all I was a man and Sharay her precious daughter. Though I now knew they wouldn't advocate for me, I certainly didn't want to give them cause to worry by showing up home after the expected time of return. That was a sure fire way to engender a parent's wrath.

We drove in silence. I didn't want to start our talk until I could really formulate my thoughts and focus on Sharay's response and body language. Sharay, apparently, wasn't inclined to offer anything without it being pried out of her, so no words had been exchanged by the time we arrived at the Cold Stone Creamery.

We parked and entered the ice cream store. I prompted Sharay to order and I followed suit. She got a double scoop with chocolate and coffee ice cream, while I selected Strawberry and French Vanilla. Once our order was served, we headed outside. There was a slight breeze and the air was not too hot thanks to earlier rains relieving the heat somewhat. There were several other couples at the adjacent tables and I smiled to myself as I thought of us as a couple, but remembered the wall she had put up and was brought back down to earth with a thud.

"Yours looks good," I offered, inclining my head at her ice cream.

She glanced up and nodded.

"Is it good?" I pushed, hoping for a taste.

"Yes," she vocalized.

I took a deep breath and proceeded to do the one thing I hated and dreaded the most in all of the world – aegyo! "Is it _reeeaaaly_ good?" I said while pulling out all the stops. Damn what I wouldn't do for this girl. I was pouting, making silly lips motions, and changing my voice to sound cute by increasing the pitch.

"Yes," she offered, unaffected by my efforts thus far, as she continued eating.

I had to crank things up a notch. If aegyo wouldn't work to crack the wall, I would have to go for chic and sexy. I switched tactics before she could look away, biting my lower lip and giving her an intense look filled with lust. Okay, this I didn't have to fake, so I hoped it would be more genuine and effective. I then opened my mouth a hair, allowing my tongue to show slightly, and inclined my head towards her spoon while raising my eyebrows giving a clear, but unspoken, question "Can I have a bite?"

"If you want to try some, I'll go get you a spoon," was the cold response I got in return, so I ratcheted things up another notch and reached across. I dragged both the spoon and her hand towards my mouth and slowly and sensually placed the ice cream in my mouth, taking the opportunity to run my tongue briefly along my bottom lip.

Well the wall dropped and she yelled, "What the....?"

"Oh so she speaks," I retorted. "Good. Now would you kindly explain to me what horrible thing I did earlier to offend you so that you would shut me out like I was Tim or Rhett?"

I took a deep breath, as I waited to hear her response. Anything would be better than silence. At least I would know what was bothering her, but before she spoke, two guys who had obviously had too much to drink rounded the corner and spotted us, or more specifically the long-legged blonde sitting with me in a sexy black dress.

"Hey sweetheart," one of them began. "Wanna join two real men and have some fun rather than pretty boy here with the makeup?"

Before I could respond, Sharay was up and giving them a piece of her mind. I recalled from the drive from Miami, when the tire blew, that Sharay had a very colorful array of swear words in her arsenal and she let rip a few choice ones. The result was that the two guys swiftly departed the area, but not before I had joined her on my feet in case they didn't back down. Watching them retreat, I realized that Sharay's attire was like a flame to a moth, so I removed my jacket and gently placed it around her shoulders.

As we sat back down, I returned to my prior train of thought. "Since the end of the dance, you have been a bit distant. Like you put up a wall. Did I do anything wrong?"

I could tell her first instinct was to deny it, but instead she said, "No. Of course you did nothing wrong. You're great."

"If I'm so great why the cold shoulder then? I really don't like this and won't back down until you give me a decent explanation, so spill it," I insisted.

Sharay looked at her hands resting in her lap, obviously trying to formulate a response that would satisfy me. I reached for her hands. "Please. 제발," I implored.

"Remember earlier when I said that you seemed like two different people? Jaebeom and JB?" she prompted.

"Yeah," I responded in a noncommittal tone.

"Well tonight I got to see JB up close and personal, and, well..," she paused turning a little pink.

"I'm on your bias list now and you're being shy?" I asked hopefully, but suspicious that nothing could be farther from the truth.

"Heck no! You can never be on my bias list," Sharay responded emphatically.

"Ouch. That hurts." I paused a moment and added, "Well if that's not it, what's up? Because something is definitely bothering you." I noted that she hadn't pushed my hand from hers, which I took as a hopeful sign.

"I guess I'm a little focused on the here and now. I see you as a friend, a really good friend, but tonight I realized that this friendship has no place in your world and after you leave here, well, you're going to be really busy and I thought it would hurt less if I stopped being your friend before you had to stop being mine." The volume of her voice dipped to almost a whisper as she finished.

I stared at her in disbelief. She was afraid I wouldn't want or be able to be her friend when I left, yet nothing could be farther from the truth. I was the one afraid she wouldn't want to be friends with me when I returned and had to focus on being JB.

I slowly released her hands and placed mine on her shoulders, angling her body so she would be right in front of me. "Look at me!" I demanded in a soft voice laced with pain, and she raised her head and met my gaze.

"Your friendship is too important to me for something like work or distance or anything else to get in the way. Didn't you say those very things to Rhett a little over a week ago? What's changed? I haven't. You haven't. Will it be easy? Probably not, but can we do this? I have no doubts at all. Remember when you stayed home and I went for run with Daniel, well your dad was with us at the beginning and he told me about how when he and your mom were dating he was in Arizona while she was stationed with the Air Force in Nevada. Their friendship, their relationship grew over those two years, even though they were apart, even though your mom was busy and your dad was finishing up his Biomedical Electrical Engineering degree. It grew because they worked on their communication. Come on. You know this. They even got married while they were living in different states. If they can do that, we can keep working on our friendship too. Don't you think?"

Since there was no response from Sharay, I pressed on, "If being two states apart wasn't difficult enough, come on, they already did what we are looking at. Your dad was here in the States and your mom went to Korea for a year. They even had it tougher, as they didn't have email access, much less Skype, Snap Chat, or cell phones. Please. Don't look for problems. Let's look for solutions." And with that I wrapped my arms around her and drew Sharay to me for a hug that I hoped would squeeze out any fears, doubts, or insecurities, and would convey my sincerity. I wasn't going to give up this friendship without a fight and knew that if she was fighting alongside of me, nothing could stop us or come between.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom is definitely the king of aegyo, but his chic and sexy look is beyond dangerous. I wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish, but I knew it was more than getting a bit of my ice cream. If nothing else, I will say he is very persistent. I wasn't sure what to say when he outright asked what was bugging me. The fact that he noticed I had tried to erect a wall and cared to figure it out, was almost more than I could bear. How was I ever going to handle losing him as a friend?

I was partially thankful for the drunkards who approached, as I was able to vent some of my frustrations on them, but they didn't stick around long, and Jaebeom continued wheedling an answer from me. When he placed his jacket around my shoulders and I could smell the musky scent of him coming from it, my resolve was shattered. Feeling the warmth of his jacket, knowing it was a byproduct of the heat from his body having worn the jacket mere moments before, I felt very vulnerable. The thought of his body wrapping around mine was almost more that I could handle.

Jaebeom continued to press me for a reason, and when he pushed for me to give a justification, I finally broke down and shared what was on my mind. I hated the idea of getting hurt and for some crazy moment there had been thinking that if I distanced myself from him it wouldn't be so bad. What a fool I was. The past half hour, pushing him away had made my heart ache and I felt fatigued from the effort it took to deny how much his friendship meant to me. I did continue to refuse any acknowledgement, even to myself, that it was anything more than that, reasoning that if it didn't have a name it could be more readily ignored.

It was when he threw my own words back at me and the story of my mom and dad overcoming the trials of a long distance relationship that my resolve to keep him at arm's length really began to wane. All by doubts, concerns and "what if's" evaporated when he drew me in for the most gentle of hugs. Holding me close and exuding courage so that I could breathe it in and make it my own, was more than I had hoped for. It was like his hug was holding all my broken pieces together.

I felt like I had been holding my breath since we had left the dance studio, and when I let out a sigh, the tears began to flow. Once they started, I couldn't seem to control them, which was so uncharacteristic of me, as I rarely, if ever cried.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I could hear her sobs, and the tension Sharay had been holding released and overflowed. I didn't let go until she could breathe without a hitch, and even then I was reluctant to pull away. Her tears tore at my very soul.

Finally, I moved back just enough to look her in the face. Moving my hands to her face, I gently used my thumbs to wipe away her tears, then I slowly bent down and kissed her forehead.

"I promise we can not only keep our friendship, but that it will grow. If that's what we want, nothing can get in the way." And with that, I held her to me again, but this time I could feel that we both had hope. I believed she wanted to be my friend and I knew I needed to become her best friend over time in order to fulfill my dream and hers of marrying our best friend. I would just have to be patient and take things one step at a time.

I don't know how long we stayed there like that, but we finally departed for home. Pulling up to the house, I noticed all the lights were out, so it must have been late. I was inwardly thankful that TJ and Sam trusted me enough that they could sleep when their daughter was out with me.

I told Sharay to wait a minute, and I went into my room to get some makeup wipes for her, knowing she had no such items at her disposal.

"You want to clean that mascara and all off your eyes so you don't get an infection or wake up looking like a raccoon," I cautioned, before turning to my room yet again.

"Jaebeom, thanks. Thanks for everything," she managed before I had turned. I offered an encouraging smile and turned again to go, not daring to stay longer as I wanted more from this girl than she was ready to give.

"Um, wait!" she called out again. As I turned I saw she had a grimace on her face.

"What's wrong?"

Looking a little flustered, she motioned to the back of her dress. I shrugged my shoulders not understanding.

"I can't unzip this stupid thing on my own. Could you please help?" she asked in a tiny voice.

I had to laugh. I tried not to be loud, but my laughter was both at her discomfort in requiring such personal assistance and at the thought of unzipping her dress.

"Turn around," I instructed and she complied. Placing one hand at the top of the dress to steady the material, with several of my fingertips resting on her skin, I drew the zipper down revealing the black lacy bra strap that was underneath. As my hand worked the zipper, I lightly brushed her bared back upon the descent, causing goose bumps to spring up on her at my touch. I smiled at the thought that her body responded to me, even if her mind and heart had yet to catch up with the physical response.

As if on autopilot, my hands went to her shoulders and then I wrapped my arms around her in a back hug. I hesitated a moment longer than I should have before letting go.

"Goodnight," I said, my voice thick with emotion and longing.

"Goodnight and thanks," she replied as she headed towards her room clutching the front of her dress and without turning around to look at me. As she departed I could see the pale of her skin in between the open V of the black dress and the horizontal strap of the black bra. Sleep was definitely going to come rough tonight I acknowledged to myself, as I swiftly retreated to my room once her door closed.


	11. "Keep Your Back to the Wind!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom learns windsurfing and asks Sharay to be his sounding board and confidant.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Sleep eluded me for several hours. Since my mind was running sixty miles an hour, I figured I would make the most of the time and grabbed my lap top and started jotting down objectives as they came to mind. I would have to reorder them based on priority later, but I didn't want to forget anything.

Things I want to accomplish in the next three weeks in addition to my English training, dance practice, and basic composition efforts:

· Teach Sharay the basics of Korean

· Find out more about how TJ and Sam kept their relationship going while apart

· Reassure Sharay our friendship was not limited to the weeks I was here

· Collaboration on at least one song with Nate

· Learn how to windsurf from TJ

· Paintball with the Chu's

· Play some more games with Daniel

I also started a few notes on how to teach Sharay Korean:

· Begin with Hangul writing

· Sentence structure

· Honorifics

· Present tense

· Past tense

· Future tense

· Vocabulary goals per day

I started watching a YouTube video on windsurfing and quickly shut it off, knowing that if TJ's method for instructing English was anything to go by, her windsurfing instructions would be dramatically different as well and I was probably wasting my time.

By 2 am I was getting a little tired, but chanced catching one of the guys between schedules. I was fortunate and Jinyoung answered.

"Hyung!" he said as he answered the snap chat. "We have really missed you. How are things going?"

He asked this last part as if he suspected something. I assume he'd tried getting Mark to talk but had been unsuccessful.

"I'm doing great. What are you all up to today? I didn't check your schedule before calling though like I should have."

"Jackson is working on a project in Hong Kong, Bambam is visiting his mom for a couple of days and Yugyeom has gone with him. Youngjae has been visiting the dorm a lot as his mom is still 'visiting' them and it's driving him crazy. Mark and I have been working on a new project we hope to pass buy you when you get back. I was picked for another drama and we start the script reading tonight. I'm the lead this time. We're pre-filming it all and should have it completed shortly after you get back, so we can work on our comeback without too much interruption other than a few events to help promote it. Have you been doing any composing at all? I feel so out of the loop not knowing what you're up to."

"Wow really? Another drama?" I deflected from his attempted to get information from me. "That's fabulous Jinyoung-ah. I'm so proud of you," I said quite thrilled at his news but saddened that I wasn't aware what had been going on in his life. "I'm sorry I've been lousy about keeping in touch with you all. I promise I'll do better," I offered, thinking this could be a practice run for trying to keep in touch with Sharay when I returned to Korea.

"Well, we have missed you, but you're busy and we get that. Frankly, what I miss the most is your leadership skills. There have been a few times when we could have benefited from you being here. Youngjae and Yugyeom really went at it once and I'm still not sure they resolved it. Also, I really would like your input on some songs we've all written for the comeback. I'd rather not have JYP dictate how things should go without you being here to advocate for us. You know how he can be sometimes."

I could hear Jinyoung's voice sounded a bit tired. Though he was basically my right hand man when it came to leading the group, he preferred the supporting role rather than being the primary. He was like my lieutenant who followed instructions and made sure others did as well. Jackson was a natural leader and regularly challenged me. Though I had no trouble with that, it irritated Jinyoung, as Jackson never was very good about picking up on non-verbal cues to back off. When Jinyoung-ah became tense like that, he would tend to lash out with verbal barbs and hurt Jackson's feelings or target Yugyeom. With me, a look seemed to be enough to get things more or less under control.

"Sorry I left you with a leadership mess," I offered weakly. "Would it help to promise that I'll be even a better leader by the time I get back?"

"No," scoffed Jinyoung, while laughing at how petty he had sounded with his complaints to me. "I really shouldn't complain since you deal with this 24/7 and I've only dealt with it for less than 3 weeks. Now leaving me cleaning up the kitty litter for three cats – for that you owe me big time!"

"Look," I offered by way of compromise, "call me anytime you need my help. I may not be able to pick up straight away, but if you text me and let me know when you'll be available I'll try to get back with you as soon as I can. And thanks for taking care of my fur-friends. It means a lot knowing I can trust them to you."

"I'd love to call, but JYP warned us not to bother you. Whatever it is you're doing, he seems to think it's a really big deal. The other day when we saw him we could tell he was bursting with excitement and it was taking all his willpower to not share what was going on." Jinyoung took a breath and continued. "Thanks for calling. I needed that. You've recharged me and I can go forward a bit more because of it."

"If that's the case then I'll make sure to call a little more often, okay?"

Jinyoung smiled at me through the video cam and said, "I'll hold you to that." Then he paused. "Hey, last time we all spoke it was a bit crazy, but I sense you were bothered by something." He let the statement hang in the air like a question. He really did earn the nickname of 엄마. Here he was struggling with leadership issues and he was still taking time out to check on me.

"I was a little flustered at the time. You know, with this mission and all. But I'm over that now and everything is going well." I was able to offer this last bit with confidence now. I wasn't sure how things would progress, but I was positive that Sharay saw me as a friend and that the rest was a matter of timing. I wasn't going to worry about the future when I was focusing on the present.

Though Jinyoung wasn't exactly sure what I was talking about, he nodded and said, "If you say so."

"I do," I quipped and then said, "Gotta go. I'm sure you're busy too."

As if not wanting to break off contact just yet, Jinyoung asked, "Is it night time where you are? Looks like you are in a bedroom and it's dark there."

"Trade secret," was all I would say, before wishing him a good day and the best of luck on his drama and with the rest of the members.

After signing off with Jinyoung, it dawned on me that so much had happened in their day to day lives in just a couple of weeks. How much would change when I returned and how was I supposed to keep Sharay in the loop so it didn't feel like a lifetime had passed when we got back together?

As I had these thoughts, I realized that this problem I was facing was one every male in Korea endured when they went to serve the country. Being away from loved ones was something that my father had experienced too. I vowed to ask him about it when we next spoke. Maybe the challenge of being apart was more common than I had thought.

I set my alarm to go off early enough that I might be able to snatch a few minutes alone with Sam. After that, I finally laid my head on my pillow and willed myself to sleep. I had a lot to accomplish tomorrow. As I drifted off, I could feel the ghost of Sharay dancing in my arms. My mind flashed to the memory her figure in that skin tight evening gown, the look on her face as she talked about when I left, wiping the tears from her eyes, and the vision of unzipping her dress. All in all, these were not bad things to have on my mind as I slept.

My alarm went off long before I was ready for it to. I stumbled out of bed, quickly doused my face with cold water and brushed my teeth in an effort to wake up my brain. I then made my way to the dining room hoping to corner Sam before anyone else was up.

As luck would have it, Sam was futzing in the kitchen making breakfast while reading a medical journal.

"You're up early for someone who came home so late," Sam offered as a factual statement without any judgment or condemnation.

"Yeah. I had a few things I wanted to ask you, if you have the time," I ventured.

Raising his eyebrows and smiling to encourage me to continue, Sam inquired, "Want some breakfast to go with the consultation?"

As we ate, I started off by telling Sam about my conversation with Sharay last night and her concern that we would have trouble keeping our friendship going once I left. I made it clear that I thought there would be no problem but requested his advice on how to actually execute that since he and TJ had gone through a long-distance relationship several times, both before and after their marriage.

"The key is communication," he offered. "Not just the good stuff that's happening, but the basic mundane, day to day stuff, as well as the troubles." He continued by way of explanation, "You don't want to set things up so that the other person only sees perfection, but they need to know reality as well. You don't want false high expectations. Conversely, you don't want to always complain."

Right about this time, TJ joined us and asked what we were talking about. "Long distance relationships," offered Sam, who like Mark wasn't given to talking a lot unless he was telling a story.

"Oh?" TJ prompted. "You're not messing with him though?" she asked Sam.

"No. I'm not that mean. I told him to make sure to share the good, the bad, and the ugly to avoid false expectations of perfection."

"That's a good start. What about sharing when you used to send me the recordings of shows you were watching on TV along with your commentaries, oh and Jaebeom. Sam's mom used to send me a batch of peanut butter cookies every so often when I was stationed on that remote tour in Korea for a year. Those little things showing I was being thought about really helped, especially the things that required a little thought and planning," TJ offered.

Sam smiled at me and laughed saying, "Perfect. You can ask Sharay to send you blue chocolate chip cookies. That's bound to help. But in all seriousness, you'll have it a little easier than we did, as you can just send links to things you are both watching and can even watch them at the same time."

"With the 13 hour time difference, I can probably watch the live stream of the Saturday service most weeks. Though I won't be there, I could at least feel like I am. Do you think that would make a difference?" I asked.

"Now that you have an idea, maybe working out the details with our daughter would be best," TJ noted as she nodded towards Sharay's room and her daughter who had appeared in the doorway.

"What's all the noise about?" Sharay asked as she came into the kitchen, looked at the oven fried chicken on my plate and followed it by asking, "Did you make me any?"

"I wasn't sure when you would be up, but I made two for you just in case," I smiled at her in triumph and pointed to the plate on the countertop next to the stove top. I was rewarded with a big smile and a spontaneous hug on her way past me to the chicken. That took me off guard, but in a good way.

I glanced over to see the expressions on Sam and TJ's faces. I was hoping they weren't too upset, but I saw Sam nodding his head and TJ had an expression that was directed at her daughter and it looked like a "I told you so" expression. Not sure what that was about, but since she wasn't giving me a dirty look, I took it as a good sign.

"So since I cooked you chicken, when I go back to Korea will you send me some of your cookies from time to time?" I ventured, like someone jumping into the deep end feet first.

Sharay just stared at me and then finally asked, "Where's that coming from?"

"Well your mom was just saying how when she was stationed in Korea she got cookies from her mother-in-law and I was thinking instead of just wondering how we could keep in touch, that it would be good to think of some specifics."

"And so you thought me baking cookies for you would do the trick, did you?" Sharay asked. "Anything else?" I could tell she was trying to sound indignant, but was holding back a smile.

"Well, even though I can't be there physically, I was thinking I could watch the Saturday services live on line," I offered, but as I said it I wondered if that would have the same significance to her as it did to me.

"Would you record your voice worshiping and send it to me?" she asked in a small voice. "It would really help me feel like you were there."

To think that was what she wanted to feel my presence, just touched me deeply. "Each and every time. And if I can't make it, I'll watch it later and still record the worship and send you the file. I'd also like to go over the message with you like we have thus far."

I looked up and noticed that Sam and TJ were making a strategic retreat to give us some space to talk. I nodded in response and continued talking to Sharay. "Can you help me set up an email account to use for a Facebook account? I'd like to set one up so we can use it for private messaging and Skyping so it doesn't cost us an arm and a leg in text messages or Facetime chats with our cells. I can't use my information as it could be traceable if someone really put their mind to it."

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I could still feel the hot traces left by Jaebeom's fingers on my back. The places of where his fingers had graced my skin still tingled. I sighed heavily, as I knew I was losing the battle to keep him in the friend zone of my heart. I just had to make sure I kept it to myself. I couldn't risk him knowing how I felt, as I was sure it would make him run the other way. He just didn't need that, as he had plenty of fangirls who felt that way towards him already. I was sure it would just complicate his life and make him feel obligated or responsible somehow.

Sleep was a little difficult to come by and my dreams were filled with visions of missed phone calls and communication glitches. I woke wondering how Jaebeom would be able to keep his promise and whether I was setting myself up for heartache relying on his assurances. As I slowly shook the cobwebs from my head, I heard voices coming for the dining room and recognized Jaebeom's voice even before that of my parents.

Joining them, I could smell the oven baked chicken I had been making for Jaebeom just about every morning. After inquiring what they were all talking about, I asked in jest if Jaebeom had made some chicken for me, and to my joy and surprise he had. Before I could even get my brain to click in, I had run up and given him a hug in thanks.

Just as quickly as I hugged him, I released him and ran to the food trying to detract from the impropriety of my actions. I'd hoped he wouldn't read too much into it but would see it only as our mutual love of chicken.

As I grabbed my food, I was shocked to find that the discussion they had been having was about long distance communication. I didn't think Jaebeom would be so proactive about it, but when he asked if I would bake him cookies, well I just had to smile to myself. I didn't think about him having an actual address where I could send something tangible. I had wondered if I would ever have an actual way to reach him other than maybe via phone due to security and all to protect the group from fans and too much mail clutter.

When he also offered to watch the Saturday service via live feed, I almost choked with emotion. I mean you can't get much more personal than that and he'd thought of it on his own. Because I'd been spoiled by hearing him sing each week, I went out on a limb and asked for the impossible. I wanted him to record his singing of the worship songs.

I about fell over when he agreed without any hesitation and he even went further and talked about discussing the sermon later on. As my parents left the room, we launched into discussion about setting up a special Facebook account for him so we could communicate without the expense of long distance cell and text costs. This seemed rather surreal. I mean who was I to be so fortunate to have a friend who would do so much to keep in touch from so far away; especially someone who had such a busy schedule and who was so popular. I had friends who lived near me who didn't do as much.

Setting up an email and Facebook account for him was a fun thing. Since we used my information I got to choose his user name so I made his email Michincatlady@gmail.com. I originally wanted crazy cat lady but, since that was taken, I added in a Romanization of 미친 instead. We had a good laugh about that and he felt for sure his identity would never be discovered even by the most diligent sasaeng (사생팬) or even anti-fans out there.

We spent a while making sure that his Facebook account was not visible on my friends list or searchable on the internet. He ended up friending me and Nate, with the understanding that the settings would be such that his posts wouldn't show up on the feed or be visible to others. Though it took a while, it was reassuring that he was willing to go to such lengths, and several weeks in advance of his departure, to make sure this were worked out and set up.

After arranging the means for communication, we set to work on his English training for the day, but not before Jaebeom offered, "I hope this reassures you that I really meant what I said last night. Also, only a few people know the real me. You're one of them and you may even know me better than just about any of the others. JB is just one of my roles and a job. I'm still always me underneath all that. That'll never change. Understand?" As he offered this last bit, he leaned in and placed his forehead against mine. All I could think was that line from the old show, "Lost in Space" that I watched when I was on an old TV series kick – "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

So I'm officially the crazy cat lady in Sharay's mind. I'm not sure how to take that, but am excited that we have a means to communicate in place now so it is settled long before I leave. As an added bonus, I was able to friend Nate on Facebook which would allow us to collaborate long distance as well. I hoped that this morning's efforts would reassure Sharay that I really intended to keep my promise to do everything in my power to keep our friendship alive even at a distance.

I emphasized that she knew the real me and that JB was just a role and a job I did sometimes. I wanted her to know that she was one of the few around whom I could show my real self. Believing I had conveyed that adequately, I felt like I could check off a few important things from my list. Now to tackle some of the others.

"TJ, is there a time we can head to the beach and you can teach me how to windsurf?" I asked during a session break.

"I think that could be arranged. It's been a while since Sharay has gone and Daniel is finally tall enough and strong enough to learn as well. How about tomorrow, if the weather forecast is decent? We don't want it too windy, but it is just as miserable if there is no wind at all," TJ offered.

I was looking forward to the chance to give this sport a try, but I had a few other things I wanted to fit in as well, so I added, "Is it possible for us to set aside enough time for me to go do some paintball with the Chu's as well? I'm not exactly sure how much time is involved and all, but I really want to give that a try."

"Talk with Sharay about setting that up and just let me know and we'll work around it. You need some down time every now and again, so it shouldn't be a problem working it in the schedule," I was informed. TJ was the kind of person who tried to find a way to say "Yes" to a request rather than always looking at the difficulty of something. I was definitely going to have to remember to adopt some of her approach when dealing with the other guys when I returned to Korean.

That evening TJ broke out some of her old windsurfing instruction books and covered some of the theory behind the sport. Windsurfing involved a board and a sail. The main difference between it and sailing was that, with windsurfing, the sail was not fixed, but rather was connected to the board with a universal joint that allowed the mast to tip forwards and backwards and swivel. Also, you stood on a windsurfer, while with a sail boat you sat. I was thankful for the sailing time with Sharay as many of the terms crossed over to windsurfing. How fortunate was that?

Sam shared a humorous story about his efforts to learn windsurfing years ago. He regaled us with his seemingly hopeless efforts to stay away from the only boat on the lake, and the numerous times he dropped the sail and mast onto the heads of the poor people trying to fish from the boat. When he warned me that the key was to keep your back to the wind, TJ reminded him that telling someone was no help if they didn't listen She said this as she jabbed him in the side and laughed at the recall of his falling in repeatedly, as he constantly found himself with the sail between him and the wind and was pitched backwards into the water with every gust.

"So there I was falling into the water, as I heard TJ's voice finally reaching me across the lake. 'KEEP YOUR BACK TO THE WIND!' she was crying, but it was always a little too late," Sam offered by way of explanation.

"You just needed to look to see which way the wind was blowing," TJ teased him.

"Wind is invisible," he reminded her.

"Not if you look at the water, Sam. I kept telling you that. In any case, Jaebeom, just remember to keep your back to the wind," TJ summed up.

Monday morning, the weather was proclaimed to be perfect for windsurfing lessons by TJ, so we took the two boards and the sails from the garage and loaded them on the top of their larger vehicle, and with that, TJ, Daniel, Sharay, and I headed to the beach.

Once we got there, TJ explained that the most important thing of all was balance, so she placed the boards in the water for Daniel and me to work with, since we were the students. She had us get on the boards and stand on them without even the dagger board (also known as the center board) in it or the sail connected. I found out the dagger board was a removable equivalent to the keel of a boat. For about 20 minutes, Daniel and I tried standing on the wobbly boards and walk around on them and turn. I really think I spent more time in the water than on the board itself and Daniel wasn't fairing any better.

Not 20 feet from us was a windsurfing rental place. The instructor there had offered his two students a few minutes instruction on the sand and then put them and their fully rigged boards in the water. As they attempted to pull up the sail they fell in as much, if not more, than we did, regularly ending up with the sail on their heads to boot.

After a break, which included some water, food, and a reapplication of sun screen, a slightly less waterlogged Daniel and I were instructed to try again, but this time with the dagger boards in place. As we were getting ready to head back into the water, the instructor from the "official" windsurfing rental place came over and started talking smack with TJ.

"You know, they're never going to learn that way," he gloated. "Windsurfing isn't something just anyone can teach, especially not someone your age."

I could see TJ bristle and shift her feet in the sand, willing herself not to strike this insolent fool. Instead she offered, "How about a small bet? My two students will be able to windsurf within two hours and yours will still be struggling to stand on the board?"

The cocky young sun-tanned beach boy looked at her wondering what was the catch. "How much do you want to bet?" he offered, all but licking his lips in delight.

"How about a couple hundred dollars?" TJ proposed.

The surfer dude looked at her as though he had just made easy money and shook on it. Running off to yell at his students to motivate them, TJ slowly turned to us and shook her head. "Some people never learn," was all she said before turning back to us and inclining her head that we should reenter the water with the dagger board in place this time.

The difference in the stability was quite noticeable and both Daniel and I managed to stand and turn on the board with less frequent unintended trips into the water. After a short amount of time, TJ called us to return to shore again.

This time, TJ and Sharay had rigged the sails for both boards. Daniel's mom worked with him and Sharay came to assist me. We were informed that the key, as was mentioned the night before, was to keep your back to the wind. TJ had apparently requested Sam make a platform for dry land simulation training when Sharay first learned several years before. The bottom of the platform was rigged so that it was elevated from the sand on a stand and it could turn around freely, just like a board would on the water. It also had a hole in it where the mast could be attached. We were told to stand on the platform placing our feet equal distances on either side of the mast step (the bottom part of the mast that had the universal joint which connected into the board) and use the uphaul line to slowly pull the sail up off the ground.

TJ demonstrated what we were to do first. She emphasized that we needed to keep a straight line between our knees, hips, and shoulders in order to prevent strain on our lower backs. She cautioned me that it would be very injurious, given my prior disc injury, to bend at the hips when windsurfing. I took this cautionary note seriously and pushed my hips forward like in a hip thrust, just as instructed. I felt a bit perverse, but I wasn't going to argue with the expert.

                                

The set up of the sail was interesting as it slid over the mast in a pocket. At about shoulder height, there was a wishbone shaped boom connected to the mast and the sail was stretched out so the corner of its triangular shape was connected to the other end of the boom, allowing for the sail to be stretched taut. This resulted in a curved boom on either side of the sail, as opposed to a single boom like on the little Sunfish Sharay and I had sailed.

                                                          

 

 

[Rick McClain Nautical Sailing Terms and Nomenclature](http://www.photographers1.com/Sailing/NauticalTerms&Nomenclature.html) shows all the parts of a windsurfing rig.

The uphaul line did just that; it allowed us to haul up the sail. It was tethered near the mast foot for easy reach when on the board and hung relatively loosely along the mast and was connected to the section of the boom where it was attached to the mast. The technique was to grab the line near the board and then pull on the rope, lifting up the sail with the stress being on the point near the boom.

TJ instructed that we both try just standing on the simulator and try lifting the sail from the sand. First we had to stand with our feet at equal distances on either side of the lowered mast, then grabbing the uphaul line had to try raising the sail. As I lifted the sail, the wind caught in its folds and tried to move it and turn the platform on which I was standing. The practice on the board allowed me to adjust my stance to compensate for the moving platform. I have to admit that it still looked way easier when TJ demonstrated it that when I tried it.

                                                             

"This is where you need to be mindful about keeping your back to the wind. If needed, shift and move your feet because of the direction of the wind. There will be times when the sail is facing directly into the wind. When that happens, just lift the sail slightly out of the water so it catches a little wind. Let the clew (the corner piece of the sail to which the far end of the boom is attached) drag in the water, and slowly turn the board around until your back is to the wind again. Just don't forget that you should shift your stance as the occasion dictates.

After several attempts, Daniel and I mastered raising the sail without being catapulted off the simulation platform. Sharay then helped me with direct instructions on where to proceed from there.

"Hold onto the uphaul line and gently swing the sail a little from left to right so you can feel how the board responds under your feet," I was told. "If you don't move it at all the sail will naturally be at 90 degrees with the board and won't catch any wind. It will just flutter. Now, you have to imagine that the simulator is the board. As you know, it has a bow and a stern. So let's pretend that the bow is to your right. Which side of the board are you on?" I was asked.

Given the current wind direction the correct response was "starboard," so I offered that.

"Great," she replied. "So you will note that the boom curves out on both the left and right sides of the sail in front of you and connects at the clew with the outhaul line. You want to use the left curved portion of the boom when you are on the starboard side. Now all the traditional windsurfing instructions will teach you a different way, but my mom learned a cool little trick that I am going to share with you that will prevent wrist injury and decrease the chances of you being placed off balance as you transfer your hands from the uphaul line to the boom. Ready?"

At this, Sharay proceeded to give me a demonstration. As she stood on the simulator, holding the uphaul line with the sail off the ground, she reached to the left section of the boom with her left hand. "Doing this, you now have the sail being held by both the uphaul line and the boom. Transfer the weight of the sail from the hand holding the uphaul line to only the left hand holding the boom. Then shift you feet slightly to the stern of the board. Now, release the uphaul line from you right hand and move your right hand over your left one which is on the boom, and grab on to the boom with it, just to the side of you left hand. At this point you will have both hands on the boom fairly close to the mast with the left hand on the underside and the right hand crossed over the top. Understood?"

I acknowledged that I did with a nod of my head. "Moving on then," she said, as she saw I was following. "Now shift the weight of the sail from your left hand, which is closest to the mast, to your right hand, which is about a hands width from the mast. Got it? Okay. Doing this you automatically tilt the mast a touch to the bow, so you aren't torquing your wrists or throwing yourself off balance, Now, let your left hand go free and reach out and grab the boom about 1 ½ shoulder's width from your right hand and 'sheet in' by pulling the boom towards your body. Just don't pull it too hard or too fast or you may fall backwards if the wind is not as strong as your pulling is. And remember to bend your knees and keep those hips up – so you don't put strain on your lower back."

I tried replicating what I had been told and, with a few minor adjustments by Sharay, I had the basic gist of what I was doing.

"Now try it in reverse," she commanded. "Grab the right side of the boom with your right hand, cross over with your left and sheet in with the right, changing the hand with which you are carrying the weight of the sail as previously instructed. Great job! I think you have a handle on it. Practice both of those a few more time until you feel more at ease. Remember to shift you feet so you aren't off balance and watch out that you don't place too much strain on your back. If you ever feel off kilter, just maintain your hold of the boom with the hand closest to the mast and release the other one. When you stop sheeting in, all the wind will go out of the sail."

After about 10 more tries on each side, I felt relatively confident that I could fake this, but TJ came over and made me try the whole process once more, beginning with hauling up the sail. She even made me do it a couple of times with the sail facing upwind. Though that was a bit trickier, I now understood what was meant by allowing the wind to slowly turn the board.

"Okay, let's cover the basics of steering," Sharay offered. "You can go in any direction EXCEPT you cannot go more that about 30 degrees into the wind. That's the "no go" zone. If you try heading straight into the wind, it will come from the back of the sail and unceremoniously dump you into the drink. If you need to go in the direction of the wind, you will have to tack, which is a fancy way of saying alternating back and forth in a zigzag pattern to make any headway. Remember I explained this when we were sailing?"

                                                                      

"Actually," I offered, "it is really helpful that we covered all those sailing terms before or I would be lost about now. And, yes, I remember what you meant by tacking."

"Great. Now to steer, it is a matter of tipping the mast forwards towards the bow or back towards the stern. As you tip the mast and sail towards the bow, you will note that your body weight shifts towards the bow. This places more weight there and less on the stern. As the wind pushes against the sail, the board will pivot because of the weigh change, and will cause the bow to turn going in the direction of the wind. Got it? Tipping forward makes you go with the wind."

                                                    

Sharay continued, "Conversely, if you tip the mast and sail towards the stern, your body weight shifts back and allows the board to pivot into the wind. The fastest speeds are reached when you are traveling approximately 90 degree to the direction of the wind – with the wind coming right at your back. To maintain that position, the boom will be roughly parallel with the water and the mast will be somewhat upright, maybe slightly rear of plumb. Now I want you to try first simulating going with the wind and then into the wind. Lastly, I want you to try holding the sail so you can run at right angles with the wind."

After a little practice, I had the basics down. Following this, I was taught a very basic maneuver that would allow me to return from whence I came as well as to tack.

Finally, I returned to the water with the board, dagger board in place, and told to spend a few minutes reacquainting myself with balance on the water. When Sharay felt I had regained my "sea legs", she brought the sail out and fit it into the mast step. Pulling myself to a crouch with my feet on either side of the mast, I grabbed the uphaul line and slowly stood to a stand. I could appreciate the increased stability the sail gave me and the weight of the sail also provided a counter balance I could use. I bent my knees slightly, remembered to keep that straight line between my knees, hips and shoulders, with my pelvis thrust out a touch, and began to pull up the sail with the uphaul line.

As the sail emerge, the added balance it had provided when in the water disappeared. Since I had been practicing without the sail to beginning with, I quickly adapted to the change. Using the outside hand first and cross over maneuver I had been shown, followed by sheeting in the sail with the boom, and slight movement of my feet, I found myself sailing forward in a fairly decent replica of a beginning windsurfer.

I traveled about 300 feet and then unceremoniously fell! It was a start. I repeated the process, after maneuvering the board so I could return from whence I had come. Daniel was following in my footsteps, but had taken off in the opposite direction so we'd keep out of one another's way.

Not far from where we launched, the windsurfing school students were still floundering in the water, frustrated and exhausted. As I approached my initial spot, I could see TJ walking confidently towards the now deflated jock who had belittled her but an hour ago. Even from where I was, I could tell he was chagrined and probably didn't have the money on hand to make good on his bet.

After a few runs back and forth, I was in need of a rest and so was Daniel. As we headed towards the beach for a break, Sharay and TJ swapped out with us and took off without a glance back.

                                                                                  

Face obscured for privacy

Watching Sharay and TJ windsurf was a thing of beauty. I mean, seriously the difference in their stance compared with mine was huge. They all but relaxed into it, using their body weight rather than muscles to control the sail and the wind.

After a short while, TJ returned and suggested I join Sharay on the water. I took off after her, but knew that by comparison I looked ungainly and klutzy.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

The idea of teaching Jaebeom something he didn't know, but that I excelled at, was appealing. I guess I didn't think teaching English was on a par with this. Fortunately, he was very fit and had great body awareness from all his dancing. His expert hip thrusts would also come in handy! With my mom's teaching techniques, even my gangly brother was able to master the skills as they were introduced.

When Mom was challenged by the instructor of the windsurfing school a bit down the shore from us, I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Looks like we would be a couple hundred better off before the day was over!

Jaebeom and Daniel picked up the skills relatively easily since mom added each step in a way they could build upon the previous one. I had to laugh though at the first stage when they both spent more time in the water than out of it. Jaebeom did progress a little faster thanks to his physical strength, balance, and ability to see the flow of movements a little better. Nonetheless, they both succeeded in getting underway long before either student from the windsurfing school.

Mom had so much fun walking over and demanding payment from the idiot who basically had called her old. I wonder how much more humiliated he would be if he knew she was pushing 55 rather than the 45 that she looked.

Though Daniel didn't do too badly, he tired out pretty quickly. Because he was done for the day, I took his board while he went to rest on the shore. Mom and I had a short run for about 15 minutes, then she traded off with Jaebeom. I slowed to wait for him to join me. From out on the water, I was able to offer some additional pointers to improve his stance as well as giving him some finer points.

"When the wind is a bit stronger," I offered, "you want to not only move your feet towards the stern, but towards the rail of the board that is windward, away from center. Also, remember that if you keep your elbows just slightly bend you can straighten out your arms or bend them more to adjust for the wind. If your elbows are locked you can only pull in by bending them, but you are limited if the wind strengthens as you will be at your full extension already."

We must have been out on the water for at least an hour, traveling back and forth parallel with the shore. Thankfully the wind was blowing directly onshore making for a great day for a beginner. I could tell Jaebeom was fatiguing a bit, so suggested that we drop our sails one on top of the other and basically anchor ourselves in place with the drag of the rig limiting our drift.

Sitting out on the water atop our boards, Jaebeom and I had the time to just sit and talk. I think the conversation was the most in depth we had had yet, which was saying something as we had covered a number of heady topics. On this day, I was introduced to the world of JB, leader of GOT7.

"Being the leader and a member of GOT7 is both the best thing and the hardest thing I could ever imagine. I'm enough of a control freak that following anyone else would have driven me nuts, but as leader I find it lonely sometimes. There are decisions I have to make that I must make on my own. If I consult any of the others, then I run the risk of looking like I am playing favorites. If I ask one for advice regarding how to handle another member, then there will be a concern that someday I may breach their confidence too. That could lead to everyone keeping secrets from me that could impact the viability of the group.

Taking a deep breath, I added, "So, I struggle with balancing being their friend, their father, their leader, and, in the case of Mark, his junior. I love having fun and horsing around with the guys, and I do this from time to time, but I have to be careful that I don't undermine my position as leader. Too much goofing off has resulted in them thinking they can get away with more and it takes longer to reign them in."

I listened quietly, allowing him to unburden himself. It's not like I had the wisdom and experience to offer anything anyways, so I quietly sat there as his sounding board, hoping that some way, somehow it would be of help.

Jaebeom continued, "I've longed for someone in whom I could confide. Someone who had the ability to listen like Mark, the book smarts of Jinyoung, the adventuresome nature of Bambam, a youthful optimism like Yugyeom, the loyalty of Jackson, and the sunny disposition of Youngjae. Each of them has a characteristic and trait that exceeds what I offer in those areas and I regularly yearn for the added boost that could be provided by each in various situations. Instead, I am left to hoping I make the best decisions. I often second guess myself or delay too long, worrying that I'm not making the correct choice."

Pausing for a moment and avoiding my eyes, he noted, "You. You have those traits and more. You complement me. Looking on from the outside you're able to be objective." Looking up, his eyes pleading, Jaebeom asked, "Would you be my sounding board? My confidant? The one I could lean on a bit when the load is too heavy to bear? When self doubts and fears plague me? The one who can pour fuel on my flame when I have a great idea and the one who can pour water on it when I'm heading in the wrong direction? The one who can cheer my successes and commiserate with my failures without judgment?"

Jaebeom paused, swinging his feet that hung from the board in the water, brushing his legs against my mine as if craving some physical touch. Some reassurance.

In response, I silently slid into the water and crossed the few feet between us and hauled myself up next to him. Sitting next to him, I placed my right hand on his left that was resting by his side. We must have stayed like that for over 20 minutes, when he finally turned to me and said, "See. You knew exactly what I needed."

"But I didn't do anything," was my confused observation.

"Yes. You did. You did everything just right. I can breathe now. I've been worried about what's been going on in my absence. Pondering the fires I would have to put out when I got home was causing me to vibrate any time I had a down moment. You have the ability to ground me. You help me in ways I can't even describe," Jaebeom offered as if that somehow made everything clear.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Windsurfing was exhilarating, but as we stopped to rest, I felt the burden of all that I was as the leader of GOT7. I was dreading what awaited me in the way of responsibilities; while at the same moment knew that I wasn't able to evade my duties for much longer. I felt the pressure of it all bearing down on me. Sitting across me with just a stretch of water separating us, sat the girl who I knew would complete me.

Sharay slipped into the water and pulled herself up to sit next to me on my board, gently covering my hand with hers. Without a word, she gave be strength. It was like she was amplifying what was already in me, making me better than I could be on my own. The same, but just ...more. Sharay was my perfect help mate, not taking me over or demanding action, but helping me to see the actions I needed to make with a calmness and clarity that had eluded me before.

As this realization set it, I became peripherally aware that the wind was picking up. Sharay had caught on to the changes a moment ahead of me, due to her experience on the water.

"We have to head back - right now," she was saying with some urgency, as her eyes scanned the horizon. "It smells like a real heavy rain is coming." Nothing looked out of the ordinary, but her sailing sense was telling her not to chance it and I deferred to her expertise on the matter.

Before she jumped into the water to go to her own board, I reached out and gave her a hug. Probably not the best idea since she was clothed only in the skin tight Speedo from the other day, but I didn't want to miss making it really clear that I appreciated all she did for me during the past, almost, half hour, not to mention my expected need to lean on her again in the future.

I held Sharay close for a moment and reluctantly released her, remembering the urgency with which she said we needed to return to shore. As I did, I was just thankful that I was wearing loose fitting surfer shorts. I sighed heavily realizing my self induced predicament a split second too late and quickly slid into the water for a moment claiming, "Wow I didn't realize how hot it was sitting there," before getting back on the board to head back to shore.


	12. A Storm is Coming

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I could feel a change in the air pressure and noticed subtle hints on the water that the wind was picking up. In fact, unlike before when the direction had been fairly steady, the windy was now beginning to come in minor gusts and burst.

"Jaebeom, be careful as the wind is changing speed and direction. Take it slowly and you'll do just fine. Remember that if the wind increases in strength and it is too much for you, just let go of your sheet hand and just keep the hand closest to the mast on the boom."

Fortunately, Jaebeom seemed to have a really good feel for how to compensate for the gusts of wind and didn't pull back too much only to find that the wind had died down a bit. Had he not compensated, he would have spent a good deal of time in the water.

Though we were only a couple hundred yards off shore, it still took us a good 20 minutes to return to where my mom and brother were. Jaebeom did fall in a couple of times and once was catapulted from the board when the wind increased for a moment unexpectedly. His board continued forward quite a ways, and with the tide it was moving farther from him even still, so I swung around and towed him on the back of my board by having him lay with his upper torso on the stern and his feet dragging in the water behind until we caught up with his board and rig.

As we got to shore, my mom came to help him exit from the water. I did a beach landing, having pulled up my centerboard as I neared the shore. That wasn't something Jaebeom was quite ready for yet. As I hauled by board and rig ashore, I noticed that Mom and Daniel had packed everything up and had taken it all to the car already. As usual, my mom was one step ahead of everyone else.

"Jaebeom, your phone was ringing a number of times and I also heard you get a number of messages. Not long ago I got a call too. It was Mr. Park. He was trying to get hold of you and when he couldn't get through, he called me," my mom informed him.

Jaebeom looked worried. Apparently that was unlike JYP to call that many times, much less to call someone else to make sure he got the word. We exchanged glances.

"There's been a change of plans. Why don't you call him while Sharay, Daniel, and I get the boards and rigs ready for loading up on the Excursion?" she suggested in a way that gave no room for discussion.

"I'm sure he can wait a bit while I help," Jaebeom offered.

"No. Call him. You need to hear this from him now. We have a lot to do and not much time to get it done. Just say 네 and do it," was the instruction he received.

Jaebeom was noticeably dragging his feet about calling his boss, but still responded, "네 어머니" and took out his phone to place his call. I figured it must be important since it was 3 am in Korea and apparently waiting until a normal time wasn't an option.

"Mom? What's going on?" I asked as we folded up the sails after removing them from their masts. "Jaebeom looks very agitated," I noted as I looked to see him carrying on a very animated phone conversation just far enough away that I couldn't make out what was being said. Even if I had been able to understand Korean, the speed was seriously rushed and I realized that Jaebeom had been speaking more clearly when instructing me than he was now, which was his usual relaxed almost mumbled speech pattern.

"A special event has come up and Mr. Park doesn't want to let on that Jaebeom has been here, so instead of them going ahead without him, he has to catch a flight back in the morning so he can join up with the others and give the impression that he has been there all along," she offered.

Tomorrow morning! But..." I couldn't formulate my thoughts. Jaebeom was leaving. I suddenly felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me. It was bad enough when I thought about him leaving in three weeks, but this was too sudden. I couldn't get my brain to latch onto what it meant.

"He'll be back on Monday. He's just going long enough to put in an appearance and hang around for a few days to throw off the paparazzi and the netizens. Mr. Park said because he's breaking up Jaebeom's training schedule that he will add an extra week to the end so the full training can be completed. Apparently Jinyoung will still be filming his drama during that week so they can do without Jaebeom an extra week without it impacting their comeback preparation too much," my mom offered, seeing the pained expression on my face.

By the time Jaebeom was done with his conversation, we had the boards and rigs ready to be brought to the car. In silence we all loaded everything up. Jaebeom did not look too happy, but I knew he would open up to me when he was ready. He needed time to work through this news.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Getting back to shore was fatiguing to say the least. The slight increase in wind strength, irregularity of the gusts, and shifting wind direction made it way more challenging to windsurf. At one point a really strong gust of wind caught the sail and pivoted it around catapulting me into the water. Whoever said water wasn't solid, never hit it going at the speed I was when I landed. It felt like concrete. Thankfully Sharay gave me a lift on the back of her board to where mine had drifted. I probably would have enjoyed the view more if I hadn't been so exhausted.

Finally landing on the beach, I could see that TJ and Daniel had packed up everything else and were ready to head for home. I was all set to help break down the rig when I learned that JYP had been calling and wanted me to return his call now.

TJ wouldn't back down and let me help, but insisted I call JYP immediately even though it was 3 am for him. I was dragging my heels when she instructed me to just say 네 and do it.

"네 어머니, I offered with complete respect. I was sure she smiled at being called that. I hoped so.

"여보세요," I heard JYP answer in a very awake and alert voice. That couldn't be good, because it meant he really was waiting for my call.

I proceeded in Korean, "Hello. Sorry I missed your calls. I gather you heard I was out on the water windsurfing?"

"Yes. Thanks for calling back though. I already spoke with TJ and she knows what's going on. I've sent you an email that you need to open up when you get back to their house. Open it and print the ticket and your itinerary. You're heading back here tomorrow morning."

"What?" I all but yelled. ""but I'm not done with the training yet. Why are you cutting things short," I said jumping the gun.

"It wasn't my intention, but you guys won a special award that's being presented this Friday. You need to be here for that. Your absence would tip off people that you've been out of the country and I really want to keep what you have been doing under wraps. Don't worry though. I really believe what you're doing there is of the utmost importance, so I've arrange for you to return next Monday and we're going to tack on an extra week at the end so you get the full six weeks. Okay?"

By this time I was breathing hard. I was in fight mode, but fortunately kept my mouth shut long enough to learn that it was only a week's interruption in the process and I would still have a full six weeks here. Nonetheless, I was stilled caught off kilter and irked that I had to leave in the morning. All I could think was that I was glad Sharay and I had already set up email and Facebook options for communication.

After getting the gist of what the plan was going forward, I helped TJ, Sharay, and Daniel load the boards and all onto the car. Sharay and I were both quiet. For her that wasn't unusual, but there was a heaviness in the air.

"We're stopping by Sam's office. I need to get the dog from him and pick up a couple of things. You got a bit too much sun Jaebeom, and I need to treat that so you aren't uncomfortable during your flight. Also with all the different muscle groups you used today, we need to make sure you don't stiffen up. Last thing you need is to be immobile for 18 or so hours on a plane and tighten up just before you have a performance," TJ was saying as we headed over the bridge departing Fort Myers Beach.

I was checking my email and saw that my flight departed from the local Fort Myers Airport Tuesday at 7:24 am on American Airlines flight 1012. I had a two hour layover in Dallas Fort Worth before catching Korean Air flight 5032 at 11:15 am arriving at the Inchon airport at 3:15 pm on Wednesday. What a pain that a little over 19 hours of travel would appear to take 32 hours. I hated losing a day. At least I would get it back on the return trip.

I was pleased to see that I didn't have to go through Miami. I really didn't want Sharay, or TJ for that matter, having to drive four to five hours just because of my commitments. I was wondering how I would get to the airport in the morning and decided I would hail a cab.

Having decided this, I began mentally packing my shoulder pack and formulating a plan to decrease being spotted during the trip. I had been instructed only to bring what I needed for the trip to decrease any indication that I had been away for a lengthy time-frame. I had a two hour layover in Dallas, which would be just enough time to check into the international terminal. I decided that flying solo would be to my advantage as we rarely traveled solo to the States, so I would stand out less. I had declined JPY's offer to have a manager meet me at Dallas, as I was sure that would call undue attention. I felt that if I skipped any of my usual airport attire I would be more likely to limit discovery.

"TJ, how do I schedule a taxi for the morning?" I inquired.

"Taxi?" she asked. "Seriously? The airport is but a few minutes from the house. We'll drop you off. Not to worry." And with that she effectively shut down my plan to avoid inconveniencing what I considered to be my American family.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom barely said a word from the time he finished his call with JYP until we arrived at home. I swear I could actually hear the wheels turning in his brain. I was wondering what he was thinking, but resolved to give him his space instead of interfering.

"Jaebeom and Sharay. Shower now. Daniel and I can wait." My mom turned to address Jaebeom, "After you've showered you can begin packing. We need to do something about that sunburn you have too. So leave your shirt off until we treat you."

"What sunburn?" Jaebeom responded. He couldn't see that his shoulders where a touch red, as was his face. Worst of all, right below his bathing suit line he was bright red courtesy of the water dragging down his trunks just a hair every time he pulled from the water to the board after each of his falls. Apparently, he hadn't applied adequate sunscreen there or it had worn off with the contact from his suit. Left treated, that would prove very uncomfortable during his travel.

"Forget the sunburn, Mom, he's going to be aching from all that windsurfing. What's your plan?"

"The reason I stopped at your dad's was because I wanted to get the laser. Jaebeom, that and the pulsed magnetic field mat will help with the sunburn. The mat will also help with the muscles, especially if we have you take a load of di Magnesium Malate. You've worked some muscles in a way you aren't accustomed and there will be some lactic acid break down. Being immobile in a plane is a bad thing following that, so we need to help detox you a bit. Once the burn is minimized, Sharay," she turned to address me, "use the Avazzia to work the back protocol to loosen up those muscles and apply some Voltaran Gel."

Turning back to Jaebeom she stated, "I wouldn't want you dancing in a day or two if those muscles are too tight. That would put too much pressure on your spine and could result in a reinjury or extra stress on your disks. Now hop to it you two."

Obviously, though Jaebeom's English had improved dramatically, it didn't necessarily include medical terms or treatment protocols and devices. Fortunately, he seemed confident that whatever Mom had in mind was going to be beneficial. Since we didn't have a massage table at home, the mat was usually placed on the floor. I'd just been volunteered to do the back protocol, as Mom was still plagued by pain from a prior knee injury when she knelt for too long. I wasn't sure how I felt, or how Jaebeom would feel for that matter, having me massage and use a medical device on his bare back. I hopped off to the shower reasoning that I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

Since I knew Jaebeom would take longer since he not only had to shower, but also needed to organize, and pack, I dashed to the kitchen as soon as I dressed and began making a special batch of cookies for him to take on his trip. I figured he could share them with the other boys upon arrival, if there were any left that is. I decided to make them blue again, just for fun.

Standing in the kitchen with the oven preheating and the mixer on, I didn't hear Jaebeom approach.

"What're you doing?" he asked looking over my shoulder. I about jumped out of my skin. I was not as startled by his silent arrival as I was the feel of his bare torso against my arm as he brushed against me to look at the contents of the mixing bowl.

"Cookies, " I offered. "I thought I'd make you and the boys some cookies."

Leaning against me even more fully, Jaebeom placed one arm around my shoulders as if to steady himself while he stretched across and dipped his finger in the mixture to take a taste. "And what makes you think I want to share you, your cookies that is, with them?"

With that he gave me a wink, and pulled back while licking his lips. Damn him always throwing me off like that. I swear he was playing with me like I was some smitten fangirl. I didn't appreciate it and made it known by elbowing him a little harder than necessary in the ribs, saying, "Back off or you get none!"

He obediently moved back, but kept that smirky grin on his face the whole time. Ha! Just you wait Jaebeom.

"Go to the counter and grab that large bottle. Yes that one," I said as he made his way for the bottle I indicated. "Now get a spoon, and with the scooper inside, place two ¼ teaspoons on your spoon. Place the powder on your tongue and swallow it with a glass of water."

"Yack! Damn! Sharay that stuff taste like the bottom of a fish tank," he complained.

"That would be because you're magnesium deficient. Take another scoop. Magnesium is, for lack of a more technical term, something the body uses to transport toxins from the body out through the liver. The mat is going to detox you some more, but you already have low levels," I offered by way of explanation.

"How do you know my levels are low?" he skeptically noted, with one eyebrow raised.

"Di Mag always tastes nasty when your levels are low. When you're at therapeutic levels it tastes a little bitter and chalky, but not bad. Take another ¼ teaspoon please and then go lay on the mat in the living room."

"Daniel?" I called. "Would you please set up Jaebeom on the mat? Start with sensitive, 10, and then 25 setting levels for eight minutes each to begin with. I'll be over to take over soon and set up the laser while he's going through those levels."

"Jaebeom, grab a pillow and lay on your stomach so I can laser your back. I just want to get these cookies in the oven first. This is basically the same drill as the fire burn, but this is from the sun. We don't need the Synaptic this time as we aren't dealing with nerve problems. Also you don't have to worry too much about your chest. You had added shading from the sail so it didn't get as much exposure. We can't laser your face, though, as it is too dangerous to use it that close to your eyes. We'll just have to hope that mat does a sufficient enough job. Oh, wait, here. Rub a little of this on your face. It should help," I finished up handing him a little bottle labeled "Bye Bye Burns" that contained coconut oil and several other holistic components.

It didn't take long to get the cookies in the oven. Going into the living room, I positioned the laser and its two probes in the stand and directed the light to shine on his shoulders first. I would have to take this in stages and I wasn't yet prepared to deal with his lower back/upper glutes. In fact, I wasn't sure if I ever would be.

I alternated between resetting the mat and the position of the laser while keeping an eye on the cookies. Given the bake time, I had about 3 levels on the mat before the cookies were done and on the rack cooling off.

I had procrastinated long enough and now had to work on his back muscles using the Avazzia device. This device helped recalibrate the electrical energy of the tissue to help heal any damage or out of sync components. It always sounded like mumbo jumbo, but worked wonders on trigger points, tight muscles and other aches and pains.

The device was a small hand held machine that you could calibrate for intensity and function. From the device there was a hand held tool with a metal two prong end with round metal balls. These balls were stationary and didn't roll, but you could slide them across the skin and make an electrical contact. It was interesting as the contact seemed "sticky" in areas where there was a need for healing.

Kneeling down next to Jaebeom, I showed him the metal prong wand and explained what I would be doing. I needed to work down either side of his spine, across his shoulders and up his neck, and *CRING* across the sacrum. I don't know if it was just my imagination, but I could swear he laughed when he offered to pull his shorts down more to make the task easier for me. I am sure he enjoyed tormenting me in this way, but I wasn't exactly sure why.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Coming out of the shower, I went straight to packing the few things I would need for my trip. I grabbed my vocabulary notebook, phone charger, passport, laptop and other necessities, including a change of underclothes. I made a quick check list of toiletries I would need to leave out until after showering in the morning. Much of it I could leave here, as I had duplicates at home. I just needed enough for the trip.

I then set out some clothes for the next day, paying careful attention to have something comfortable but neither too showy or from my traditional airport attire. No red hoodie, Snoop Dogg shirt, or bucket cap. I would bring a snapback, sunglasses, and for my arrival in Seoul, a face mask. I opted to pack a plain black hoodie for Seoul as well, one that wasn't super over-sized either.

I dressed in some shorts and, as instructed by TJ, left off my shirt. I could feel the skin was tight across my upper back from the sun, and I could sense the heat emanating from the area on my lower back where my waist band rode. I sure hoped this protocol TJ prepared would do the trick, but quickly dismissed any doubts given the successful treatment of my burn, my improved English skills, as well as my new found windsurfing abilities.

Walking into the kitchen, I spotted Sharay busily mixing up something. My nose twitched as I detected the sweet scent of the dough for her chocolate chip cookies. "Was she baking me cookies?" I hoped as I approached her from behind.

I reached Sharay's side and leaned in to confirm my suspicions about cookies. When I pressed against her bare arm, I thought she was going to jump out of her skin. Though I had hoped she had finally become accustomed to me approaching her like that without evoking a flight or fright response from her, I was actually glad she was distracted or she would have probably noticed my own response. I hadn't expected the full body goose bumps at the touch of my exposed chest directly against her smooth arm. To steady myself, I leaned even more fully into her and tried to pass off my action as some game or jest.

Sharay was having none of it. Frankly I was a little disappointed that she seemed immune to my advances and flirting. Any other girl would probably be in a puddle by my actions, not to mention my winking at her and licking of my lips as I tasted the dough. I was seriously torn. On one had I wished she would see and accept my actions for what they were. On the other hand, I was glad she thought I was just messing with her, as I feared rejection. I still hadn't figured out how to get over that whole "you're not my bias" bit and I certainly didn't want to lose her as a friend by driving her away.

No matter what she said though, I wasn't sharing those cookies with anyone. Especially not the guys. My excuse was that they would ask too many questions. At least that was my story and I was going to stick with it.

Following Sharay's instructions, I choked down the white powdery di Magnesium Malate. Foul stuff. I wasn't too sure she wasn't messing with me to get even. Then I went into the living room to lie down on the mat, and Daniel started it up for me. After getting the cookies in the oven, Sharay came in and set up the laser and periodically reset the mat.

I was dozing off when the timer for the cookies went off. I was vaguely aware that Sharay was removing them from the oven and finalizing her baking. I could tell she was adjusting the lasers one last time and then woke fully when she knelt beside me. Turning, I saw she had a device in her hand with a metal extension wand. She explained what it was for and how she was going to work on my back. When she mentioned she would also have to work on my sacrum, I offered to pull my short further down to make it easier. The look she gave me was one of complete horror. Not the reaction I was hoping for, but then I'm not sure what I expected.

Sharay must have worked on my back for over half an hour. The whole time I could feel the sticky "pull" of the device in some parts and the smooth travel of it across my skin in other areas. Finally she stood up and went into her parents' room and returned with a towel.

In a very professional and noncommittal way, she informed me she was going to place the towel so she could work on my sacrum while preserving my modesty. Heck. What modesty. I was only grateful that I was lying on my stomach at this point as the feel of the electrical probe was about more than I could tolerate. The work she did on my lower back release some discomfort that I hadn't even known was there. As I was thinking that I could really get used to being treated like this, TJ came into the room.

"Here," she said, tossing a tube of a NASAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory with diclofenac) to Sharay. Make sure you rub it in really well. It looks like the burn has calmed down quite a bit, but I'm concerned about his muscles tightening with that long trip ahead." At that TJ headed into the kitchen and began preparing dinner.

If I had thought the previous skinship with Sharay was intense, it was nothing compared to having her hands directly on my back rubbing in a pain relieving cream. She began at my neck and shoulders. Her touch was both firm yet soothing. As she worked her way down my back and sides, I could sense she had done this a number of times before, and a feeling of jealously welled up in me, thinking of her touching other male patients in the same way.

"So you help your dad at the office with treatments, right?" I asked guardedly approaching the subject.

"From time to time I do the Avazzia neck protocols, set up the laser and mat, and I've even run the decompression table protocols under supervision. I have done limited acupuncture on my mom when she gets trigger points as well.

Hmm. Seems like I was the only one whose lower back she had worked on. So far, so good.

"Well you seem to have a real skill at working in that cream," I probed further. "It really feels great." Though I had received many a massage in my life, this was the best because of the one giving it. Who knew that could have such an impact on the efficacy.

"Humph!' she responded. "That's what my mom says when I put it on her back. It's not my favorite thing to do," she added. "I only do it when absolutely necessary and my dad won't be home in time to help her out."

Bingo! Other than her mom, I was the only one she'd rubbed cream into. While I was pleased about that, I was a little depressed by the comment that it wasn't her favorite thing to do. Right as of this moment, it was my favorite thing to have done to me and I wished she felt the same on the giving end.

As she worked her magic on my lower spine, I had to concentrate to not moan in pleasure at her touch, as well as the release if brought to my tight back muscles, but I didn't want TJ, who was in earshot in the kitchen, to the get the wrong idea. Or more precisely, the right idea about how I felt about her daughter's ministrations. I'm sure there were a couple of times when I couldn't help but press into the mat below me as an instinctive response to the heat I was feeling. I just hoped it wasn't noticeable or would seem more like I was just moving a bit, nothing more. It was criminal how she made me feel, especially since it would be another month before she was no longer a minor.

Long before I wanted this contact to end, Sharay ceased the massage and announced that I should stay put for four more minutes and when the mat control beeped, I should get up and get a shirt on for dinner. All I could hope for was that four minutes would be enough, as getting up modestly was definitely a problem at this moment!

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Rubbing cream into Jaebeom's back took concentration. I had to imagine it was my mom. But that was a little more than impossible to do successfully. His shoulders were broad and his back muscles well defined. His skin was clear and smooth. As I worked the muscles to try and release the tension in them, I could tell that Jaebeom was appreciating the massage. Secretly, I imagined it was because I was doing the massaging, though I knew it was because his muscles were tense and in need of the rub down to relax them. Having seen a few of the GOT7 reality shows, I knew he had probably received numerous massages from people far more skilled and my sad efforts were probably a poor facsimile. The really tough part came as I had to move down his back.

He had the cutest mole located on the lower left side of his back. Though it was clearly visible, it was smooth to the touch and I fought the urge to linger there longer than necessary. It was a bit of a losing battle, but I reasoned that since it was toward the side of his back, he probably gave those muscles a good workout today and they need a touch more attention.

Now, working his lower back and the sacrum area just above his glutes - that was a real challenge. I could feel the color and heat in my cheeks rise. I was only glad he was face down and couldn't see me. Seriously, this was some special kind of torture. I mean it was seriously wrong, as I had to fight the urge to touch his skin and muscles for my pleasure when I was supposed to be helping him as a would-be medical assistant. The thoughts I struggled to keep at bay were so inappropriate on so many levels.

A few times, Jaebeom seemed to squirm under my touch. I could only hope I hadn't massaged too hard or, God forbid, given him any reason to know these thoughts that were running through my head.

I was part relieved to be done and part reluctant to finish, but as I saw the mat had only four minutes left on the cycle it was on, I decided this was a good place to stop. I wanted to escape and collect myself before he got up, so requiring him to finish out the cycle seemed to serve a very convenient purpose.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Dinner was delightful as always, and Sharay and I fell into our regular evening routine of doing the dishes. We had long since dispensed with having Daniel help, as he just slowed us down. We then took our regular spot on the couch for some evening reading. In an effort to be as organized as possible, I had already contacted Rick to inform him I would not be available this weekend to sing during service, but would be back the following weekend and would serve as previously scheduled, so I had not other pressing responsibilities.

After reading, TJ told Sharay to drive me to the airport in the morning since she had another commitment. I was a touch curious about that since TJ wasn't a morning person, but she didn't elaborate on it, and I didn't pry, as I was more than happy with the arrangement. Sharay merely nodded that she would do it and confirmed that we needed to depart at about 5 am to be there close to the recommended time of two hours before departure.

Given that we had had a long and busy day, everyone made to go to bed early in light of my "O-dark-thirty" departure. Sam clasped my hand and congratulated me on the award we were going to be receiving and hoped our performance at the ceremony went well. Daniel gave me a big hug and said, "Safe flight, 형," before heading to bed.

TJ double checked my back and declared my sunburn adequately resolved that it wouldn't cause me problems and reminded me to take more di Magnesium Malate before I left in the morning to avoid stiffness. She also gave me two small spray bottles to keep be from getting sick from germs on the flight and in crowded places. One was "Olive Leaf Nasal Spray" and the other the companion throat spray, both by Seagate Products. I thanked her whole heartily, as airborne infections from travel and crowds plagued all of GOT7 on a regular basis. I had high expectations of their efficacy given all the other remedies provided thus far.

Sharay stayed up a bit longer packaging up the cookies she had made me. I was finishing up a few things I needed to ready in my room, but had left my door ajar.

"Jaebeom?" she queried as she approached my door. "I have your cookies ready."

I opened the door the rest of the way to see her standing just outside with a container filled with freshly baked blue chocolate chip cookies. If I hadn't already fallen for her, this would have been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I mean offering to be my confidant, giving me a massage, and cookies all in one day! I felt truly blessed that she called herself my friend and only hoped that I would be the lucky one to win her heart some day.

I couldn't help myself. I relieved her of the cookies by placing them on the nearby table and pulled her in for a bear hug. "Thanks," I said in a husky voice that didn't sound like mine. "Thanks seems so inadequate though. I wish there was a better way to let you know how I feel. You've done so much for me today. You've listened to me lament about leadership issues, healed my sunburn, massaged out my sore muscles, and baked me cookies. I don't think anyone has a better friend than I have in you."

I tighten my hug and just melted against her. This time, it was without any hint of pent up sexual tension. It went beyond that. It was a sense of joy and peace knowing she was willing to be there for me. In response to my hug, I felt her relax against me and wrap her arms around me too.

"I'm glad your back muscles and burn are feeling better," she started. "As for being your confidant. You don't need to thank me. It's not like I'm really skilled or qualified. I should be thanking you for trusting me enough to share. Even if I can't really be of any help, I hope you at least know that I'll keep your confidence."

I had to smile at that. She had no clue how invaluable, how irreplaceable, she had become to me in such a short time. "I'm going to miss you, you know. When JYP said I had to go back tomorrow, I thought he meant permanently and I about lost it with him on the phone. I was barely able to wrap my mind about leaving in three weeks, but to be given no notice..." My voice trailed off as my words became thick with emotion.

Sharay just nodded and rested her head against my chest. I imagined her breathing in my scent as if she wanted to keep it in her memory while I was gone, but I knew I was only projecting as I inhaled the sweet smell of apples and vanilla that floated from her freshly washed hair. Reluctantly, I pulled back and gave her a tender kiss on the forehead.

"I'll see you in the morning then? We'll leave at 5am, right? And I'll be back next week, okay?"

Again she nodded, but followed it with, "I'm so proud of you and the boys for earning, and being recognized for, this award. You all deserve it and, though I'll miss you, I'm glad you'll be able to be there with them during this celebration." And with that she stood on her tip toes and gave be a peck on my nose. As she turned to leave, I about fell over in shock. That's exactly what I did to my cats when I kissed them goodbye.

Though I was excited about the award ceremony, I was reluctantly to leave Sharay. I thought it would take a while to get to sleep, but the windsurfing really had taken more out of me that I had imagined, so I nodded off almost immediately, only to awaken to my alarm at 4 am. I really wanted to get in a shower and shave before I left.

Jumping out of the shower I could smell the fried chicken. Amazingly enough, Sharay had awoken and made some chicken and some Jasmine rice. I thought I had died and gone to heaven, as I had convinced myself there wouldn't be time this morning for breakfast at all. Though it was a hasty meal, given our need to depart at 5 am, I felt revived by the food and the care that had gone in to preparing it.

Everyone else in the household was still asleep, including that big loveable puppy Lunk, so we left in silence, arriving at the airport in less than five minutes.

Sharay pulled up to the departure gate drop off and I got out. Since I only had a small carry-on, I was able to check in outside with the airlines and get my boarding pass without a hitch. Though I had wanted Sharay to come in with me, she showed greater wisdom and restraint, and declined by saying it wouldn't be wise to be seen at an airport together, "just in case."

As such, I got back in the car and we drove around to the parking garage. We entered and Sharay drove up to the second level near the entrance ramp that crossed right over to the departure area and the security entrance to the gates. I retrieved my bag from the back seat, checked to make sure I had everything I needed, and turned to face her as she sat in the driver's seat of the car.

"My flight comes back a little after 4 pm on Monday next week," I said, stating the obvious as she had a printed copy of my itinerary at the house. "Should I take a taxi..." I let the question hang in the air hoping she would say she would pick me up.

"Sharay's taxi at your service," she said. "I'll be here. Just call when you get in as I'll be waiting in the cell phone lot until you say you're coming through the gate, okay?"

I smiled and nodded before turning and opening the car door. I closed the door and rounded the car to head towards the terminal with my back to Sharay. I got about ten steps away when I heard a car door slam, but continued, thinking it was some other vehicle, but came to an abrupt halt when I felt soft arms wrap around my waist in a hug.

Resting her head against my back, Sharay whispered in a barely audible voice, "Be safe. I'm going to miss you. You may not be my bias, but you're my best friend."

Before I could react, she had released me, and raced back to her car. With a wave of her hand she drove off leaving me standing in the parking lot at an utter loss of for words. Finally, regaining my senses and awareness of time passage, I headed towards the terminal and my flight back to Korea I walked briskly forward with a bit more of a spring in my step than I had had just moments before. I wasn't her bias, but I was her best friend. I could live with that....for now.

 


	13. Twin CATS and Twisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble threatens from many areas - hurricanes. observant fangirl, and other things to name a few.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was rooted to the spot where Sharay left me. I watched her drive off and felt a hollow pit in my stomach. Finally realizing that time was passing, I took off for the terminal, but this time with a bit more of a bounce to my step. I was her best friend!

I breezed through security and found a Starbucks where I could grab a coffee. Sitting down near my departure gate, I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my photos. Daniel had taken some photos of Sharay and me windsurfing with my phone, including a few close ups of Sharay as she approached the shore.

I sat there smiling at how thoughtful and scary smart that kid was. Daniel had been able to unlock my phone after only a few tries. He probably would have done it on the first go, but said he took longer as he had forgotten at first that in Korea dates are written with the day first and the month second. How he knew I had changed my password to Sharay's birthday I'll never know.

It didn't seem long before they announced boarding for First Class. Once on the plane I quickly opened my newly established Facebook account and messaged Sharay telling her the plane was getting ready to take off.

I started typing:

// _Getting ready to take off. How come I can still feel you pressing against my back and your arms wrapped around me?_ //

I read it before pressing send and I quickly deleted the last part and changed it to:

// _Getting ready to take off. See you in a week. Your BFF!_ //

The flight to Dallas was uneventful. I hardly got any looks, and the ones I did were more because the novelty of seeing an Asian in Florida where there weren't too many.

I already had my boarding card for the flight to Seoul, so I didn't have to go anywhere near the Korean Air ticket counter, which I reasoned was a good thing. I decided staying in the national terminal as long as possible would decrease the chances of being identified so headed over to the Chick-Fil-A to grab a frosted coffee. Like TJ, I could easily become addicted to those things, but at the moment I was thinking one would go great with a blue chocolate chip cookie.

In preparation for the flight, I had chosen to go fresh faced with the exception of a little make up to cover up my very unique and identifying double moles over my left eye. Turns out this was a rather brilliant move on my part when two girls walked past and the younger, who was about 10, spotted me.

"Aunt Donna, look!" she cried to the other girl who was probably in her early twenties. "It's JB of GOT7!"

"Don't be silly, Jane. He can't be here. JYP Entertainment sent out a tweet this morning saying they were all preparing for a special awards ceremony that was taking place in Seoul this Friday. You just think every Asian is your bias,' rebuked the aunt.

"No. You're wrong! I'd know JB anywhere and it's him," the little girl insisted.

"Dream on," said Donna. "Look, Jane. Stay put. I have to use the restroom. And when I say stay put. I mean don't budge an inch. I'll be right back." And with that the older of the two stood up and went in search of the nearest restroom.

The little girl kept looking over at me and I tried not to show that I was aware or had heard their conversation. Finally, she mustered up the courage to approach me.

"Excuse me?" she asked in a nervous voice. "I don't mean to be a bother, but you're JB from GOT7, aren't you?"

I pretended to notice her for the first time and looked right at her. "Who? I think you have me mistaken for someone else," I said as I returned to my drink, but surreptitiously keeping an eye on her through my shades.

Little Jane was thrown a bit because I spoke English, but recovered quickly. "Oh you speak English now," she stated, obviously proud of me. "You sound just like an American."

"And what makes you think I'm this JB and not an American?" I asked.

"I just know," she stated emphatically. "You're my bias," she declared, proudly holding up a small chibi plush figure with two dots over the left eye, just like the ones from "Dream Knight."

Jane was not to be deterred, so I decided to take a different approach. "Your aunt doesn't seem convinced," I pointed out.

"That's because she's unobservant and because her bias is Jackson. She says he's the best in the rap line, but I know you're the best singer and leader." I nearly burst out laughing right then and there as she spat out the last part with such authority that she seemed to be channeling Simon Cowell.

"If I were the JB fellow, what would you do?" I asked. "Would you do what he asked of you?"

"Not if. You are him. And I would do whatever you told me to do," she offered.

I lowered my shades so she could see my eyes and challenged her once more, but she stuck to her belief of who I was, even commenting, "You can cover up your moles, but that's not the only thing special and distinctive about you, you know. I may be a kid, but I'm not easily fooled. I'm an Ahgase." She said this last part with such pride.

"Okay then, let's assume for a moment I am this JB. Why would I be here on my own and pretending I wasn't?"

"It's a secret!" she declared, immediately seeing the truth. "Really, I can keep secrets. I won't give you away. I promise."

"How about we do this then," I ventured. "Let me take a photo of us on my phone and, if I am this JB you're talking about, I'll post it on social media before the New Year is out, on condition you don't tell anyone about this?"

"But you don't have an Instagram or Twitter. Would you post it on Jackson's so my aunt'll be forced to acknowledge I was right? She'd see it there," she negotiated.

"If I'm him, I guess I could arrange to do that," I acquiesced.

"Goal," she replied, attempting to say the word 거래, which means 'deal' in Korean. And with that we snapped a quick photo with my cell and did a fist bump followed by a hi-five.

"Thank you," she said and promptly returned to her seat so as to avoid detection by her aunt. When her aunt came out of the restroom the little girl looked once more at me, smiled and placed her finger to her lips. I, in turn, lower my glasses and gave her a big wink.

"What ARE you giggling about now?" I heard her aunt nag, as I got up to head for the international terminal.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about something funny," said Jane, who sat there with an efficacious smile on her face.

I knew I'd message Sharay about this fun little exchange as soon as my flight to Korea was underway and electronics could be used again. I was sure she'd get as much a kick out of it as I did. I was certainly looking forward to the day when I could ask Jackson to upload the photo on his Instagram. I was thinking, "JB with his #1 fan Jane!" would really put her aunt in her place and a big smile on this sweet little Ahgase's face.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Letting go of Jaebeom and driving off was probably the hardest think I ever had done, but I also was a little worried that I had overstepped my boundaries and didn't dare took to see his response to my hug and comment about him being my best friend even though he wasn't my bias.

I arrived home in less than 5 minutes, only to find my parents and brother awake and busy about the house.

"Good, you're home!" announced my mom. "We have a lot of work to do. In addition to the call from Mr. Park yesterday, I got a weather warning saying that we were in the path of three hurricanes. The chances are very great that we will be hit by one or more by Friday. We need to get the storm shutters up everywhere except the sliding door going to the lanai, make sure the generator is filled with good gasoline and in running order, and I need to cook all the freezer food and we need to eat it this week so it doesn't go bad if the power goes off. The last thing we need is defrosted food going bad. I also need to double check our water bottle stock, get dog food, fill up the cars with gas, charge all the portable power packs we have, and a dozen other things. Your dad has to head in to work now, but the three of us," she said this part indicating to herself, Daniel, and me, "need to get moving."

In a way, hurricane preparation was a good thing, as it was a big enough of a distraction to take my mind off of Jaebeom being gone. We hadn't had a hurricane hit us since Charlie, and Daniel was only one-year old at the time.

While I was working on securing the metal storm shutters to the front window of the house, my phone notification sounded. Taking a moment, I looked to see a message from Jaebeom. I almost cried in relief that he used the term BFF. At least I now knew he wasn't angry or upset I had called him my best friend. Better still, it seemed like he may think of me a similar way.

It was almost 1:30 pm when my phone notification sounded again. Taking a break from hurricane preparation, I went into the house, grabbed a drink and something to eat, and sat down to read what looked to be a long message from Jaebeom.

He recounted a story about meeting a young fan who would not be dissuaded from believing he was anyone but JB. I was touched by how he handled the situation and looked forward to the Instragram post in December, as well as the comments that would follow. How cool was he, as an idol, to think of handling the situation in such a fun and personal way. My respect for him as GOT7's leader shot way up, and I made a point of telling him so.

When he asked what I was up to, I toyed with the idea of sharing about the hurricane prep, but decided against it. He needed to focus on his awards ceremony and preparation for the performance they had to do at the show on Friday. I didn't want him even slightly distracted by something he had no control over. Hopefully, he wouldn't get word about the impending storms. Instead of a direct reply to his question, I encouraged him to shut off his electronics and get some sleep while he could. I did ask how he was planning on getting from the airport to the dorms and he responded:

// _Since I only have a carry on and no one knows I've been out of the country, I was planning on making a hasty dash for a cab and getting dropped off somewhere where I can catch a different cab readily. I don't want a trail from the airport to the dorms. I think my bag is small enough that it won't draw attention if I quickly get a second cab from a mall or other busy location to the dorms. I'm not wearing makeup, except to cover my moles and will have on my hat, glasses, and face mask_.//

I really had to wonder if all the covering up wouldn't draw more attention, so I asked him about that.

// _No. The mask is normal for Seoul due to the horrible air quality. What would be more likely to give me away is my height. Slouching also looks suspicious, so I have to choose between the two. Maybe I'll scrap the glasses cuz they look a bit out of place in doors or when the weather isn't sunny. I'll play that part by ear. Are you worried I'll get mobbed by adoring females and never be able to return?_ //

I smiled at the last bit as I wasn't exactly the jealous type and it's not like he was mine anyway. So I replied:

// _Guess being mobbed by adoring females comes with the territory! Aren't you used to it by now? You handled Alyssa pretty well that one time, though she was only one person._ //

I waited for his reply and it didn't come for a while. I was just thinking that maybe he hadn't been awaiting my response as anxiously as I had been his when he finally typed:

// _There's only one girl I want to mob me and she already did that this morning! Shutting off the electronics now and getting some sleep as instructed. I.J.B_.//

I must have had the most shocked expression on my face, as Daniel passed by just then and stopping asked, "What's with you?"

"Nothing. Just tired," I answered him. Fortunately he just continued with the chores he had been set by my mom.

After a hard day's work, I went to sleep that night wondering exactly what Jaebeom meant by that last comment. He must have been trying to get a rise out of me again. That's all. Knowing he wouldn't get in and settled before early morning my time, I finally went to sleep. Tomorrow would be another busy day with hurricane prep. The weather forecast was looking ugly. Of the three hurricanes, two of them were headed directly for the Gulf and with a cone showing a strong likelihood that they would both hit us straight on. Worst of all, they were due to hit at high tide, so it meant there would be tons of flooding even if the winds died down.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I slept most of the way to Seoul. I think that windsurfing really tired me out, not to mention the stress of finding out so abruptly that I was due to head back to Korean on such short notice. By the time we landed at 3:15 pm, I was well rested, which was a good thing as I really needed my wits about me to get out of the airport and back to the dorms undetected, not to mention handle the onslaught of questions from the other members about what I had been doing.

Amazingly enough I navigated my way out of the airport without being spotted. Standing up straight, hat on and no sun glasses seemed to draw little attention when I was on my own. I quickly snagged a cab, made one change to another cab down town, and then headed to the dorms.

"Jaebeomie's back!!!!" yelled Yugyeom, Bambam, and Jackson, almost in perfect unison, just before all six members mugged me. Jinyoung didn't miss the opportunity to take a swipe at the giant maknae for his disrespect towards me in the midst of the group hug.

They began talking and asking me questions in rapid fire. Most of what was said couldn't be deciphered because they were talking over the top of one another. Finally, Jinyoung took control and demanded everyone shut up for a second. My bag was stripped from me and I was unceremoniously shoved down onto the couch with the members surrounding me, so I couldn't escape.

"One at a time," demanded the mom of our group. "If not, he'll be sneaky and only answer those questions he wants to." I smiled inwardly at how well he knew me even though, at time like this, it was to my disadvantage.

Unfortunately for Jinyoung, everyone wanted to go first. I just sat there smiling at these six guys who were a huge part of my life and enjoyed the back and forth as they played 가위 바위 보 to determine the order in which I would be interrogated. It was comforting to know that some things never changed.

Bambam got to go first. He asked, "How did you travel without being spotted?"

That was a reasonable question and one which I was able to answer without revealing my secret mission. I regaled them with the story of Jane and her aunt, though I left the names out as they could have suggested a location. Jackson was all on board for posting the photo on Instagram in December. Unfortunately, that led to the next question by Yugyeom.

"Why does it have to wait until December," the maknae prodded me for an explanation.

Grabbing him from behind in a playful strangle hold, I rubbed his head and said, "She's not the only one who's going to have to wait. You lot are as well!"

"What?!" screamed Jackson, in a voice so loud I about fell over. "What do you mean? We have to wait until December as well. But 형," he wheedled and cajoled, "we can keep a secret. JYP will never know you told us. Come on. Pleeeeaaase!"

At that, Jackson started making the cutest pouty faces and aegyo (애교) he has ever done. I immediately thought of Sharay and how she would have loved to see him do this. As I scanned the faces in the room, I realized these guys really were on her bias list and I could feel my smile fade.

"Jaebeom-ah?" asked Mark quietly, while the others were messing with Jackson and trying to capture his newly advanced 애교 expressions. "Is everything alright? I mean, you're not sick or anything like that right? This secret is a good thing, isn't it?"

Jinyoung was the only one to pick up on what Mark was saying. He too had a worried expression on his face. I realized my changed expression had them worried and immediately jumped in and said for all to hear, "Look. Everything is just fine. This is probably one of the best things ever. You're just going to have to trust me on this. Even though I have full confidence that you want to keep the secret for me, I also know how bad you guys all are with song spoilers and JYP would kill me if this got out before he was ready to reveal it. We just can't take any chances. So just drop it for now."

Looking at the disappointed faces peering back at me, I decided it was time to play leader so transitioned the conversation to, "Look, we have a big event in a couple of days and we need to get prepared. It's only," I paused as I looked down at my watch which I had remembered to reseat to KST, "a little before 5 pm. Let's grab a snack and hit the practice room for a few hours before getting a good night sleep. We need to be strategic about how we prepare for this event. Let's work out how we should respond to the recognition, drill some likely interview questions that will come up, and go from there. Does anyone know which wardrobe the stylists are considering, who else will be in attendance..."

Before I could finish, Bambam piped in about the wardrobe selection. Made sense he knew the answer to that since he was our resident fashionista. Yugyeom chipped in about which dance variation we were going to perform for the song, and Jackson, or resident MC, had a list of questions he had worked up so we could practice responding to press inquiries.

Jinyoung gave me a quick rundown on the drama he was performing in, so I would be as well versed as the others, since we would surely promote that in our responses as well. Youngjae had come up with a few modifications to the song and Mark offered up a few ideas on a rap introduction that included all the members having a bit of a part.

All in all it was great to sit and work through the details with these guys who all brought something unique to the table. Then all hell broke loose.

Yugyeom, our resident bloodhound piped up. 'I smell cookies," and started sniffing about the living area. He was getting really close to my bag and I realized my blue cookies and English vocabulary books were in danger of discovery.

I lunged across the table in front of me and made a grab for my bag, but not before it was snatched up by Bambam.

"Seems like Jaebeommie has a secret!!!" he squealed. I rushed him, but he tossed the bag high over my head to Yugyeom, who was then able to keep it out of my reach merely by standing on his toes and raising his arms up.

"Give it to me NOW!" I demanded and started tickling him, knowing this was his Achilles Heel. Immediately Gyeommie was crying uncle and returned my bag to me.

I calmed down and took my bag and walked towards my room. "I'm going to spend a few minutes with Nora, Kunta, and Odd. If you know what's good for you, you'll never do that again," I warned, trying to make my tone light again so it was less of an angry threat but implied more tickling.

Entering my room, I was all but attacked by the cats. Nora came up first, meowed, brushed against me, and then walked away showing me she was in charge and would determine when she was no longer angry at me for leaving her for so long. The other two followed suit, as they always deferred to Nora.

I placed my bag on the bed and opened it to see if my cookies were intact or all broken. Fortunately, Sharay had packed them well, so there were only a few that had broken a bit.

I reached for my phone and hopped on Facebook, sending Sharay a quick note about our upcoming event. Then I regaled her with the story of Yugyeom grabbing my bag and playing keep away with Bambam. I told her all about how I got it back and that I not only didn't want them to find my English books but wasn't planning on sharing the cookies.

Almost immediately I got a message from her:

// _I baked those cookies for ALL of you. You know that. You better share or I'll never bake any more for you!!!!_ //

Oops. I'd forgotten that she said that and I was just going to secretly keep them for myself.

// _Okay. I'll share them_ // I replied.

// _Send me proof! I want photos of them eating at least one cookie each. I don't trust you on this. You are the living cookie monster. LOL_ // Sharay replied.

Well, guess she did know me well. I responded that she would have to wait until after our practice, but that I would be sure to give one cookie to each of them and she should await photographic evidence.

We chatted back and for a while, then I reluctantly said I had to prepare to go to the practice room and signed off. I wasn't sure why, but I got the impression that Sharay was keeping something from me. I'd have to ask her about that another time.

Before going to the practice room, I went to the kitchen and got a plastic container with a lid, returned to my room and placed seven cookies in the container and packed it in the bag I was taking to the practice room. I would share them and snap photos after we worked out the initial part of the performance we were to do on Friday evening.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I was like an addict. Getting messages from Jaebeom made me stop everything I was doing and rush to see what he was sending. I laughed so hard at the description he gave of the game of keep away with his bag. I had a sneaky suspicion he was more concerned about keeping the cookies to himself than revealing his English books.

I did have fun pretending that I wouldn't bake for him anymore if he didn't share them, but looked forward to seeing if he would actually send me photos of the guys eating the cookies. Not sure how long he would spend at the practice room, I returned to sleeping for a bit, knowing that when daylight hit I had a ton more things to do in preparation for the upcoming storm.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Practice went long and hard. I finally told everyone that it was time to call it quits for the night. I was still very jet-lagged and knew that come morning I would really be feeling it. We ordered some Jjajangmyeon (짜장면) and sat down and chatted about nothing in particular. Finally when everyone was done, I dragged out my gym bag and revealed the plastic container.

"There's only one for each of you, so I would suggest savoring it. These were made from scratch. Even the wheat was," I hesitated a moment trying to remember the Korean word for milled, "milled. Since these are special, I want to take a photo of each of you eating one and want your feedback."

Jinyoung cocked his head to the side and stated rather than asked, "Percy Jackson."

I had a twinge of jealousy at the thought that he knew this without Sharay having to tell him. They truly did have a lot in common and would hit it off very well when they met. I was reluctant to admit this, as it made me feel at a total loss and disadvantage. As such, I ignored his comment and handed out the cookies one by one.

Bambam took a bite and declared they were fabulous. "I want the recipe. Maybe we can add 'Bambam Blue' cookies to the menu at my family's café!" He even dabbed with the cookie in his hand. That was the first of six photos I would be sending Sharay later that night.

Yugyeom complained that he should get two cuz he was "a growing boy", but happily ate the one I gave him when I suggested I should have two cuz I was the leader. I was able to get a photo of him, Jinyoung, Youngjae, and Mark together, with cookies in hand.

Jackson just sat there staring at his cookie for the longest time, then he turned to me. "Hyung, who made these for you? I mean they're homemade like you said. Whoever made them must really love you. I wish I had someone who would bake me cookies too." Without another word, just as I was snapping his photo, he shoved the cookie into his mouth in one bite and a small tear fell from his left eye.

"Jackson, what's wrong?" I asked when the others were cleaning up the practice room.

"My mom's not feeling well again and wasn't able to cook or anything for me the last time I was home. I was thinking that soon I wouldn't have anyone who could bake or cook for me ever again. Sorry. I didn't mean to get emotional," offered the member who could be so sensitive about family, especially his mother.

"Could the person who made these teach me how, so I could make some for my mom? I bet she would love that," Jackson asked, trying to find the silver lining as he always did.

"Ummm. That's not really possible right now," I stumbled on my response. "It's a timing thing. But if you're patient, maybe something can be worked out, okay?"

Jackson nodded and then, like a switch had been flicked, his face brightened and he headed off to help finish the clean up.

"So," I heard Mark say quietly after Jackson's departure, "Cookies huh? Sounds like you're making progress."

"It's not that straight forward," I offered.

"So you've been to the beach. Surfing or what?" he continued.

How did he know these things? I just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, when you were dancing, your shirt lifted and I could tell you got some sun where you usually don't. Looks like bathing suit drag from pulling yourself up on a board in the water. Been there. Done that. LA surfer. Remember?" he offered by way of explanation.

"Windsurfing," was the single word I uttered before walking away.

As I did, I heard Mark quietly chuckle. Not sure if he was laughing at the thought of me windsurfing, the 'sun exposure', or the issue about the cookies. Best keep quiet as he was too perceptive. Good thing he didn't share what he was thinking too often, was all I could think as we left to head home.

The hot shower after practice really helped. I remembered what TJ said and looked in my bag for the Di Mag capsules she had packed. I smiled recalling that she said she had them made up especially for me because, "It wouldn't do if anyone thought you were transporting a white powdery substance."

Taking two of the capsules I remembered the foul taste when taken as a powder and was now firmly convinced Sharay had been punking me the other day. Wow that was actually only a little more than a day ago, yet it seemed like it was so long since I had been with her.

I sat down on my bed and sent her a Facebook message, including an upload of the photos. I told her Jackson wanted to learn how to make them and shared what he had said. I didn't tell her about Jinyoung. I felt a little guilty not letting her know, but I was feeling territorial.

Sharay's response about Jackson made me think that his comment was even more problematic than Jinyoung's. Ah well, what had been said, had been said. I let her know the next day was going to be busy so might not be able to chat with her much. I was disappointed when she said she had plans as well so would be difficult to reach any way. I felt a wall going up and I wasn't sure what it was all about.

Had I really thought she would be sitting by her phone or computer waiting for me to message her on Facebook? I was seriously delusional if I thought I meant that much to her. She said I was her best friend, but not her bias and, after all, she did have a number of friends. As I thought this, I worried that she would be seeing Rhett at church without me there. Sigh. I had it bad and didn't know what to do about it.

That night, I dreamt Sharay was reading "Percy Jackson" side by side with Jinyoung, baking cookies with Jackson, and sitting in church with Rhett. I woke up feeling as though my position had been usurped. I was not a happy camper at breakfast, until I got an unsolicited message from Sharay. Up until this point I had initiated all contact and she had merely responded. Though her message was short, it assuaged all my fears:

// _Miss my reading buddy and have no one to share fried chicken with at breakfast. At least I won't be feeling lonely without you at youth group, since it has been cancelled for the week. Hope you're eating well and not just having cookies and ramen. Have fun tomorrow night in case we don't have the chance to chat before then._ 화이팅 _!_ //

In the back of my mind, I wondered why youth group had been cancelled, but felt relief knowing she wouldn't be there with Rhett, so dismissed it without dwelling on it further.

Since this was our last full day before the ceremony, we spent most of it in the practice room until late afternoon when we were called in to see JYP. He gave us a pep talk and the usually fatherly encouragement for all the work we had been doing. When he was done, he asked me to stay behind for a moment.

"So, how's the English going?" he asked in English. I hid my smile knowing that I now had better pronunciation than he did.

"It's going well, but since you want it kept a secret, I'm going to keep you in the dark for a while too. I'd like to surprise you as well. If I speak with you in English now, you'll have trouble keeping it to yourself. Trust me on this one Okay?" I responded in Korean.

"You're going to be the death of me! What was I thinking allowing them to make a strong-willed, hot-tempered perfectionist like you the leader?" he said with resignation. From past experiences, he knew better than to push me on this. "Okay, I'll wait and find out with everyone else. When do you plan on doing your 'big reveal'?" he asked.

"Well you said we would be doing a US Tour in December. I was thinking of springing it on everyone during the first show when we do our introductions. I want to mess with the guys and think that would be a fun way of doing it."

"You're evil Jaebeom-ah! I like the idea. Have it your way, though I doubt I could force you to do anything differently anyway," he ended, patting me on the shoulder and walking me to the door.

Outside the door the others were goofing off. When I emerged, they all turned to see if everything was alright or if something was wrong. Apparently JYP's smile and carefree arm over my shoulder told them there was nothing to be concerned about.

By the time I had a chance to try reaching Sharay, I noticed that she was not online on Facebook. I left a brief message echoing her prior comment about reading buddies and chicken, then I turned in. We had about half a day to prep some more, needed to work with our stylist, do a run through of our performance at the event location, and meet with the press prior to the red carpet event. I knew I wouldn't be able to contact Sharay until after the event, so decided to focus on the task at hand.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

By Thursday night, the wind had picked up and the rain was without end. Going outside was not a wise choice, as there was no umbrella or wet weather gear that could keep you dry since the water came from all directions, including from below, when mini gusts flung the water that was collecting on the ground up into the air again.

I was bound and determined to watch the live stream of Jaebeom and the rest of GOT7 getting their award. I was able to find a fan account that was live-streaming most of it. In the event power went out, I could only hope I could get access to the stream using my Verizon wireless account. I frankly had little confidence that Comcast would stay up and running given the wind speed projections.

Currently, there were two companion hurricanes on their way. They bypassed Cuba and Haiti, but the cone showed they were both going to make landfall somewhere between Naples and Sarasota, Florida. Basically, they were coming straight for Fort Myers with an estimated eight hours between the eye of each hitting. They were moving slowly and dumping tons of water. The flooding was going to be really bad and the wind damage was potentially going to devastate many areas. Currently they were rated as Cat 3 with wind speeds of about 125 mph, which was getting very close to a Cat 4 rating.

In any case, we were all well aware of the Category ratings for hurricane wind speeds based on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale (SSHWS):

Mom had seen the devastation caused by two Category 5 Hurricanes named Hugo and Andrew when she was in the military. The last big storm to hit almost directly on top of us here was Hurricane Charlie, which was a Cat 4. It made land fall one town north of us in 2004.

The next year we got a lot of rain and flooding as a result of Category 5 Hurricane Wilma which landed a little further north still. We also got a lot of rain from Hurricane Katrina which was another Cat 5 hurricane that hit the Gulf Coast during the latter part of 2005, but when it passed Florida it was only at a Cat 1 level. Katrina barreled down on Louisiana, going from a Cat 3 to a Cat 5 in less than eight hours, so we didn't just trust that the predictions would stay stable.

Sometimes the temperature change in the water caused the winds to pick up. Also there were times when they picked up speed when hitting land, again due to temperature changes between the water and the land.

Since we have the dog, the storm shelters were not an option. My grandmother was heading to one though as it would offer her a safe location with a generator to provide AC, a must given her age, since the house temperatures could easily reach over 100 degrees F without it. The increased humidity and the house sealed up with storm shutters only made matters worse.

We were going to ride out the storm in the house. At least it was officially rated as being safe up to a Cat 3 hurricane. That probably meant it could withstand even some of the lower Cat 4 winds as well.

Unfortunately, tornadoes were a potential off shoot of hurricanes and not much could withstand those. It's not like we could dig a cellar. Since we are basically at sea level, we would hit water before we could excavate enough to create a storm cellar.

The best we could do would be to hide out in our play room, as it had a double ceiling and was surrounded by double walls, giving added protection. Additionally, the bathroom Jaebeom had been using was also connected to the playroom. This meant we had toilet access and, worst case scenario; we could all jump into the bathtub with a mattress pulled over our heads. Well, all of us with the exception of Lunk. He just wouldn't fit.

By 6 am, as I was settling down to catch the live stream of GOT7's award, the lights went out and the internet crashed. I went to turn on my wifi connection, and fortunately was able to connect.

Before opening the live-feed, I zipped over to Facebook and sent Jaebeom a quick note. I simply stated that there was a storm and the power went out, so he might not be able to reach me for a while. I let him know I was using my mobile hot spot to watch his award ceremony, as long as connection and battery for my cell lasted, that is. I briefly commented that the house was Cat 3 rated, but didn't elaborate on the fact that it was in reference to hurricanes. I didn't want to chance him seeing the message before he went on stage, just in case he might be a bit concerned.

After getting that message out, I settled in to watch the show. I was surprised by how much I understood after a few weeks of teaching Jaebeom English and his just casually mentioning the Korean for many of the words. The actual instruction he gave me for a couple of days covering just the basics of conjugation in the present tense and a brief overview of the particles really helped the most.

During the introductions, I noticed that Jaebeom stood out from the other members to me for the first. I was more aware of his leadership strength and ability to command the attention of all around him. I guess I just hadn't known that his quiet presence was so forceful, but now I saw how it was in play in everything he did on the stage.

Even when they performed, I could see the others were taking their cues from him. Though Yugyeom was the more skilled dancer, Jaebeom was definitely the linchpin both in that skill as well as in the vocal line. I was amazed how my perception of GOT7 had changed completely just by getting to know him as a person.

I would never admit it to my mom, since she would never let me live it down, but Jaebeom, or in this case JB, was fabulous.

After their performance, the group had a press conference event. Sitting at a table with several announcers peppering them with questions, I could tell they had prepared well, even though they only had a few short days in which to work.

Jaebeom spoke about the activities and events of the individual members as if he were intimately involved and had been present during them all over the past several weeks. I realized he was a far better actor than I had given him credit and briefly wondered if he'd ever used those skills to get me to think or believe something different than was reality.

Two hours later, the event was over and the boys were scheduled to attend some awards parties. Though there would be some news coverage of it, I decided it was time to preserve the charge on my phone, as it was unknown when we would get power back.

Just as I decided that, my wifi connection shut off and I noticed Lunk was acting in a strange way. He had been comfortably sleeping along side of Daniel, but he started in his sleep and made a dash to hide under the desk in the corner of the room. It was then that I heard the sound in the distance.

The sound I heard was very loud. It resembled that of an approaching freight train, though not as regular in rhythm. In fact it was eerily irregular with an unpredictable rhythm and chaotic undertones. I immediately recognized the sound as that of a tornado.

"Get up everyone!" I yelled, awaking my parents. "It's a tornado!".

My dad sprung unto action, grabbing the mattress that generally belong on the playroom couch's hide-a-bed with one hand and snatching up a still sleeping Daniel under his other arm. "Get in the bath tub now!" he ordered. "Lunk will have to just stay put."

With that we dashed into the bathroom and into the tub. Mom got in first with me and Daniel to her side. Dad crawled in and braced himself over us, holding the mattress like a protective shield over the top of us. Amidst the sounds of this on-coming twister, I could hear Lunk whimpering and howling from the other room as well as tons of other neighborhood creatures joining in the cacophony.

We huddled in the tub for full 20 minutes after the sound of the tornado shifted and departed the area. With cramped legs and crushed bodies, we finally extricated ourselves from the bathtub and headed back into the playroom to check on our sweet pup, who must have been scared out of his mind.

Lunk was still cowering under the desk and didn't look like he would emerge anytime soon. Poor baby. He was usually so brave. He never feared rain, lightening, thunder or even fireworks. For him to be this timid and nervous, that tornado had to have been really nearby.

Though the tornado had passed, the wind was still howling and the rain was beating with force against the metal storm shutters. I was feeling a little bit like a sardine in a can and slightly claustrophobic. I was glad my dad had installed a peep hole in the front door after Hurricane Charlie, so we could at least see out and survey what was going on in the front of the house. The not knowing was really bothering me.

"Let's see if there is anything on the emergency broadcast station," offered my dad, as he turned on the battery-powered shortwave radio. "Maybe we'll get word on where that tornado hit and ..." he trailed off not wanting to say anything about casualties.

The hours passed slowly. We had been in the playroom for over 12 hours, when we finally got word on the shortwave that the worst of both the storms had passed. Apparently, at one point, the second hurricane caught up to the first and caused the wind speeds to increase briefly to that of a Cat 4, almost a Cat 5, but then the competing cyclone speeds started to cancel one another out, breaking them apart and decreasing the wind speed dramatically back down to a Cat 2. Unfortunately, that also meant an increase risk of more tornadoes, hence the additional time in the playroom and several more mad dashes to the bath tub.

Several times I tried checking to see if there was wifi connection, but it was to no avail. I hoped Jaebeom didn't have access to any news about the hurricanes. I hoped he would only think we were in the midst of a regular storm with a lengthy power outage.

At any rate, I knew he would be busy and assumed that he wouldn't miss having contact with me for several days. It wasn't like we were joined at the hip or anything. We were just friends and he had plenty of other things he had to focus on at the moment. Still, I wished I could let him know we were all right, just in case he was concerned, as I wanted him to be able to focus on his work in Korea without any stupid distractions.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

After getting off stage, we headed to the press conference portion of the event. It turns out that our recognition was primarily due to the multinational makeup of our group fostering good relations between the various countries.

The biggest 'win' was that China was considering dropping the ban on Korean and foreign members' performing in country. Jackson had been very instrumental in helping pave the way for renewed negotiations on that front. Though I had always been very proud of him, this was a huge deal and deserved additional kudos.

I had already decided that with Jinyoung working on his drama full time starting next week, I would appoint Jackson as acting leader in my absence. Up until now it had been more of a team effort when I was gone.

As soon as time allowed, before departing for the celebration party, I whipped out my phone and checked to see how Sharay reacted to the photos of the boys. To my disappointment she mentioned nothing about them, but let me know they were facing a storm and power outage. Having been there and seen the lights flicker during some decent thunderstorm, I wasn't too surprised or concerned. I did note that she as "off line", but shot through a quick note asking if she had been able to catch any of the show.

The party was boring and went long. I was exhausted because I was still dealing with jet lag. I would probably acclimate myself to KST only to have to return to the States and go through it all over again. At one point, some lady approached me as I stood in a darkened hallway trying to access my phone in yet another attempt to reach Sharay.

"You looked exceptionally hot tonight," she offered as I pointedly ignored her advances. She was wearing a skin tight black dress and I couldn't help but compare her to Sharay.

Though she was decidedly more "mature" in her appearance, I noted she had no hips, no curve to her backside, and short stubby legs by comparison. Mostly, I missed the naivety and wholesomeness of Sharay. This lady standing before me was trying to seduce me because of my status and not because of who I was. I was totally put off by her tactic and intentions.

I blocked her efforts to reach for me. She pushed forward and tried to brush against my thigh as she offered, "I'm not expecting a commitment. Just some fun. No strings attached."

Turning my back to her and moving towards an area with other people, I called back informing her, "There are so many reasons I'm not interested, and you've named a few, so back off."

As I was saying this, she reached around my waist and clung to me just as two photographers began snapping photos. The implication was clear. This was a set up to try and make it look as though there was something going on between us.

My temper ignited as I felt cornered. Instead of backing down, I grabbed her hands and flung them from around me. "Back off. I'm not interested in anything you have to offer!" I hissed at her, making sure the photographers caught my words.

I made a beeline towards the bathroom, where she couldn't follow, noting she was left standing there in a huff. As I passed the photographers, I stated with a threatening tone, "Publish those pictures or print anything suggesting other than some girl was coming on to me, and I will bring down the full force of the law on you. Got it?" They nodded as I passed them, though I had concerns they would still paint things differently than they were.

In the bathroom I was undisturbed and was finally able check and see if Sharay had power back on, only to find she was still off line. Just out of curiosity, I clicked on a satellite image of Florida to see how long it would take for the storm to pass, so I could gauge how long they might be without power.

As I opened the page, my heart went to my throat. I saw not one, but two monstrous hurricanes heading right towards Naples and Fort Myers. I hit panic mode. My fingers flew into action as I tried to find out what the wind strength was and the likely area these twin storms would make land fall, only to find out that the image was from a couple of hours ago,

The updated visual showed the two storms had merged and reached Cat 5 wind speeds just as they hit north of Ft Myers, leaving a wake of devastation both north and south. Sharay and her family were directly in the path of the storm and additional warnings were flashing on my screen indicating multiple twisters forming in the Southwest region of Florida.

Damn. I felt so helpless, and not knowing what was going on ratcheted up my level of anxiety. Why hadn't she said anything about hurricanes in her messages to me? I mean there would have been plenty of warnings several days in advance.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. She knew and had been preparing for the storms. That's why she had been busy yesterday. She downplayed the storm intensity in her last message to me, so I wouldn't worry while we were preparing as well as tonight during our event had I tried to reach her and couldn't get through.

She had been keeping me in the dark, so I wouldn't be distracted. She was putting me and our recognition ceremony first. She was hoping I wouldn't find out about the hurricanes until we were done, so I could focus on my work here.

I didn't know whether to be grateful that she kept it from me or royally pissed off that she hadn't been forthright in letting me know what was going on. I had to admit I would have been distracted if I had known she was in the path of a hurricane, much less two, even though I couldn't have done anything about it.

Even now, the not knowing was killing me. I probably would have had a hard time staying on task had I know earlier. The realization that she had been filtering her communication to protect me was more than I could handle.

I left the restroom, tracked down, and corned JYP. "I have to leave. Is there a flight I can take to the States tonight? I have to get back now. They're like family!" I demanded. All thoughts of the lady from before and the photographer were a distant memory.

"Ah," he responded with a kindly, yet sad, smile. "So you figured out about the hurricanes."

"What? You knew? Why didn't you tell me? How long have you known?" I asked him in rapid succession.

"Yes, Jaebeom-ah. I've known. I've known since the day before you left that there was a strong likelihood that at least one to three hurricanes on the radar would hit the area. TJ told me she had received a weather alert just before I called and we were both glad you were coming back so you would be out of harm's way. She promised they would keep the news from you, as she knew you'd be reluctant to leave under the circumstances. They know you well and assumed, as I did, that you would think it cowardly to leave them knowing a dangerous storm or two was en route."

JYP continued, "I've been following the path of the storm all night long. It's pretty bad. I doubt there are any flights into the area. So you're just going to have to be patient for a bit longer and hope they rode it out safely," JYP stated with noticeable strain in his voice. He too obviously felt concerned, but nothing like I did.

"I DON'T CARE!" I shouted at him, drawing the attention of a few bystanders. "I'm getting on a plane now and if I have to drive for a day or take a boat to get there, I'm leaving NOW!"

"Calm down. I knew you would react this way. You're so predictable. Your tendency to want to be in control and in the know is something I anticipated. Plus you're the most loyal person I think I ever met. So, I've already booked you a flight leaving tomorrow at 9:20 am from Inchon and arriving in Atlanta, Georgia at 10:20 am Saturday. It is a 14 hour direct flight."

Calmly he instructed me, "Head back to the dorms and get a bit of a rest. Pack for the airport much like you did coming here and be ready to head for the airport at 7:30 am, so you can check in early, hopefully avoiding detection. I'll have a car pick you up. I've arranged for the airport to provide a secure location for you to await boarding. Once you get to Atlanta, there will be a rental car waiting for you there. You can drive to Fort Myers in about 10 hours. From what I can tell, Interstate 75 goes directly from Atlanta to Ft Myers."

Trying to reassure me, JYP noted, "You should be there by 10 pm Saturday night, assuming the roads are clear. You just have to promise me that you'ill sleep on the flight and pull over to rest if you get tired on the drive. It does no one any good if you push yourself and get in a wreck. Understood?"

JYP was in full father mode, knowing I would be of no use over the weekend if my mind was worried for my American family. I wondered what he would think if he knew exactly what kind of family relationship I was hoping to have with the girl who was one of my trainers. He must have reasoned there was no point in my staying until Monday. Also, there was a strong likelihood of the airport in Ft. Myers sustaining damage, so flights in would be impossible.

I corralled the rest of the guys and suggested we head back to the dorm soon. Though they wondered why the sudden departure, none of them questioned me, as they were done with the party.

I asked Youngjae to come with us before heading to the place he shared with his brother, as I had something I needed to discuss with them all. Though they were curious, no one pushed me for details until we were alone and behind closed doors.

On our ride home, we chatted a bit about the evening. I was trying to keep my mind from worrying about Sharay. One of the things I discovered was that the same lady who had approached me had also tried the same tactic with Yugyeom and Jackson. Looks like she struck out three times

"What's up Hyung?" Jackson asked. He was always the most curious.

"Change of plans. I'm headed out in the morning instead of Monday. Something came up and I have to handle it immediately." Continuing I added, "Jackson, I need you to fill in for me when I'm gone. I know you all usually work as a team when I'm the only one gone, but with Jinyoung busy with his drama schedule, I need to make it clear that the rest of you in the maknae line know to follow Jackson's lead. Mark, back him up as the eldest. You are always such a good wingman, though I know you hate taking the actual lead, you are a great lieutenant."

Turning to Jackson, I added, "You know Mark won't offer his opinion unless you specifically ask it of him. Don't try to handle any problems without using him as a sounding board. Got it?"

Jackson nodded his understanding, so I continued "I may be out of cell contact for a while. I'll try to reach you as soon as I can. I know you can handle anything that comes up, so I'm not really concerned. I know we usually try not to bug JYP with things, but he knows what I'm up to and why I may be out of touch, so if you have to, get his input."

"So you still can't let us in on what you are doing or why you have to leave early," noted Jinyoung, not really expecting details to be forthcoming, so it was less of a question and more of a statement.

"Yeah. Hyung. You really need to give us something to go on," piped in Bambam, with Yugyeom looking concerned by his side.

"He's already given us our orders," chimed in Jackson, already in interim leader mode. "Now leave him alone so he can prepare for whatever he has to do tomorrow."

Turning to me he said, "Wake me before you leave if you think of anything else I need to focus on, okay?" And with that he shooed away the others so I could get organized for the morning and some sleep.

Half an hour later, as I was crawling into bed, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I called.

Mark sauntered in and, without request of invite, parked himself at the edge of my bed. "Tell Miss Blue Cookies that I enjoyed her baking," he said.

I automatically replied, "Sure," without thinking of my response or the fact that he had addressed me in English.

"Gottcha!" he whispered, and with a smile on his face and a finger to his lips, he stood up quickly and departed.


	14. Back "Home"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Saturday morning I was up and off to the Inchon airport bright and early. With the exception of Youngjae, who had gone home last night due to his cat allergies, everyone had an early breakfast with me before departure. Jackson assured me they would set up a cat care schedule so Nora, Kunta, and Odd would be taken care of until I returned.

The trip to the airport and my flight to Atlanta were relatively uneventful. Arriving in Atlanta, I made my way to the car rentals and discovered that JYP had booked a four wheel drive, just in case I needed it due to flood waters and debris from the storm damage. Before departing the airport, I check online to make sure I-75 was clear all the way to Ft. Myers. With the exception of a few accidents, south bound looked clear of any major problems. I also took a moment to try calling Sharay, but since the lines were apparently still out of service in her areas, I opted to send a text and also a message on Facebook, reasoning that if phone and internet service resumed she would at least know I was on my way back early.

Both messages read the same:

// _Driving to Ft. Myers from Atlanta. Estimate my arrival tonight (Saturday). If you get this, CALL ME!!! BTW you are in big trouble for not telling me about the hurricanes. Hoping and praying you and the family are alright. Jaebeom_ //

Since I had slept, though not that well, on the plane, I was rested enough to drive straight through without any stops other than to grab a bite from time to time and stretch my legs. When I reached Sarasota, I filled up the car's tank. I reasoned that if the power was still out, the pumps wouldn't be functional in Ft. Myers and I wanted to have plenty of gasoline in case of an emergency.

As I pulled off I-75 onto Alico Road, I saw the devastation on my right caused by what must have been a tornado. Though the Family Dollar and Race Trac had been spared, the fields nearby had been ripped to shreds. My anxiety level skyrocketed as I turned into Sharay's subdivision. I was so afraid of what I would see.

Turning on to the street, I noticed many uprooted trees, houses with shingles ripped off, fences torn up and strewn about, and even a couple of homes with shattered windows. Further down I was able to make out in the waning summer evening light that Sharay's house was intact. The pent up anxiety I had been feeling for about 25 hours hit me full force. Apparently, I had been running on pure adrenaline. The result was immediate and extreme fatigue.

I turned into the driveway, only to spot Sharay, Sam, and Daniel working in the front yard. Daniel was heading towards the side of the house picking up debris and placing it in a garbage container, while Sharay and her dad were removing metals panels from the windows. I approached without them noticing because of the noise of the battery powered drill being used to remove metal panels.

As I exited the car, Sam turned to Sharay and said, "Back in a minute. Just need to get us something to put these screws in," and headed into the house.

I all but ran up the drive way and enveloped Sharay in my arms. She was so startled that she gave a little squeal, before she returned my embrace.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a confused tone. "Shouldn't you be in Korea for another couple of days?"

"No. I'm right where I need to be. Do you know how worried I was when I found out two hurricanes hit here and I couldn't get hold of you?" I said, as if that explained everything.

Sharay pulled back and looked up at me. With an expression I didn't understand. Then she said, "Your awards show was fabulous. I was duly impressed Mr. Im. It is truly an honor to know you."

"The show? The show?" I asked incredulously. "You were in the middle of two hurricanes and could have been hurt or killed, and all you can think of saying is that the show was fabulous? Are you out of your mind? How could you not tell me what was going on? We promised to communicate everything. You withheld something big. Really big."

I still hadn't let her go, and though I could tell she was looking to escape my grasp after my verbal barrage, I wouldn't relinquish my hold of her, not just yet at any rate.

"You own me an explanation. Did you know the hurricanes were coming when you dropped me at the airport? Is that why you ran and hugged me goodbye and said what you did?" I looked into her eyes, not sure what I was hoping to see. What had been her reason for that? Was it knowing the storms were on the way or was it just simply because I was leaving and she would miss me?

Tears formed in Sharay's eyes, but they refused to fall. I immediately worried if my verbal tirade had frightened her, so I soften my voice as I placed my forehead to hers and added, "As long as you're alright. That's what's most important to me."

"Believe me," she began. "I didn't know until I got home from dropping you off. I debated long and hard about telling you but, in the end, decided that since there wasn't anything you could do about it anyway that it would be best to say nothing. When the power went out and it was obvious we would probably be without communication for a while, I did let you know that. I just didn't want to interfere with what you had to do professionally. Maybe I was projecting. I would have found it hard to stay focused. I didn't mean to make you angry."

"I'm not angry. I was just worried when I couldn't reach you. You're right I would have been very distracted and worried had you told me earlier. I just hate that I wasn't able to help and I wasn't here with you."

With that I drew her in closer again. It seemed like I couldn't get her close enough. I wanted to envelope her and absorb her into me. Only then would I feel as though I was close enough and that I was really back by her side. As Sharay returned my hug, I finally felt like I could breath freely again.

"Ahem," I heard Sam clear his voice from behind me. He had apparently returned from inside the house. "So you're back early. Good. Then how about helping us get this last set of shutters off before it gets truly dark? Sharay, be a good girl and go tell your mom that she needs to grab another coupled of burger patties for dinner. She's on the lanai getting the coals started on the grill."

Only as he said this did I realize I was still embracing his daughter. Sheepishly, I let go and asked, "What can I do to help out?"

Sam waited a tick until Sharay was in the house before he replied. "You can start by telling me what your intentions are with my daughter, then you can grab that drill over there with the Phillips head bit on it and unscrew these sections on the left," he said as he pointed to where he was referring.

"My intentions?" I asked to give myself a moment to formulate a response.

"Yes. Your intentions. That looked like much more than a friendly hug."

What were my intentions? Had I really thought that far ahead? Actually, I had, but I had never put the feelings and emotions into words for fear of rejection by Sharay. After all, I wasn't her bias and didn't think she saw me as more than a friend.

"My intentions are honorable but irrelevant since Sharay only sees me as a friend," I offered.

"Hmpf. You know you'd have to hit her upside the head with a baseball bat before she would know you like her. She takes after me in that area.....socially awkward, when it comes to romance. From what I can see you're pretty clueless too. Well, I guess it's just as well for now, what with her still being a minor and you being and idol and all." And with that he laughed and handed me the drill. I wasn't sure what he was driving at with those last comments.

"Does that mean you're not angry or upset that I like her?"I ventured, hoping to get some sort of indication that he approved of me in the possible role of future son-in-law.

"What difference does it make? Your feelings are your feelings. And hers are hers. I can't change that, but she could do worse. Yes, she could do worse." Sam offered, saying the last part as if to himself and with a smile on his face. I took it as a tacit approval and decided not to press any further, even though his remarks were noncommittal.

Just then, Daniel rounded the corner, spotted me and came running. "Hyung! You're back already!" He yelled as he leapt into my arms. What I would have given to have had that response from Sharay!

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

The internet and cell lines were still off line, so I had been unable to reach Jaebeom. I wondered if he knew about the hurricanes yet and, if so, whether he was worried. Though I didn't want him to worry, I also didn't want him to be that cavalier about our friendship that he wouldn't care. What a dilemma. Maybe he was just busy doing idol stuff and that was a priority.

Saturday was clean up day after the hurricane. It was slow going as the rain and storms occasionally made the outside work slow going. Church was cancelled as they needed to do some cleanup, but they were planning on holding services in the morning since they had a large backup generator that would power the lights, sound equipment, video, and AC.

By 8:30 pm Dad and I were removing the last of the storm shutters on the front of the house. Daniel was cleaning up debris around the yard and Mom was working on starting up the grill to cooks some burgers she had pulled from the freezer. Fortunately, they were still partially frozen so hadn't spoiled.

I hated the sound of the portable drill unscrewing the metal shutters. The sound of metal grating on metal combined with the squeal of the drill was so loud and irritating that it drowned out all other noises. So, it was a total shock to me when I felt strong arms spin me around and grab me and hold me in a strong embrace.

My initial alarm by the unexpected contact transformed into a feeling of joy and relief when I recognized Jaebeom's scent and familiar dimensions. His arms felt so strong around me and his chest so solid and secure that all the tension I had been holding due to his absence and the storms melted away. My inhibitions vanished and I returned his hug with equal intensity.

I was pleasantly confused by his sudden appearance and asked him for an explanation. His response confounded me. What exactly did he mean by "I'm right where I need to be?"

Fighting my desire to read more into his words than he ever intended, I complimented him about the awards show to shift the focus of the conversation. His subsequent accusation that I had not been forthright in telling him about the storms, stung and I tried to withdraw from his embrace, but his arms were unyielding.

His barrage of questions, demanding to know why I hadn't told him, curiously caused my eyes to water. I hated disappointing him, yet I had, even though I had made the choice for his good. I would have been worried about him if the tables had been turn, so maybe I had been projecting. I offered as much and asked him not to be so angry.

The moods of this man shifted suddenly. One moment it was like thunder and the next like a gentle breeze, but even under the thunder it seemed as though there was a gentleness that was being masked, protected if you will, by his strong words and tone. As Jaebeom told me he wasn't angry, but had been very concerned, I felt his embrace intensify and I responded with ardor. I had no delusions about what this hug meant by Jaebeom. He had been worried about me as a friend. I knew I was the only one who felt as if the hug could hold the shattered pieces of me together.

In all honesty, I was relieved when my father returned and interrupted us. I don't think I would have been the first to let Jaebeom go and it could have become awkward for him had that happened. Slightly embarrassed and off kilter, I took my leave to help Mom grill the burgers. I knew we would need to add at least three more to even make a dent in Jaebeom's appetite. And to think, Mom had been worried the food would go bad before we could eat it all. Problem solved with the bottomless pit known as Im Jaebeom. I could feel the smile on my face would be in place for a good long while.

That night we had dinner on the lanai. Outside was cooler than in the house without AC, so we stayed in the screened enclosure until late, putting off the return to the stuffy indoors as long as possible. Jaebeom showed me the pictures of the boys eating my cookies as well as some shots of Yugyeom and Bambam playing keep away with his bag. Apparently, Mark had snapped these last ones and forwarded them to Jaebeom for fun in a text.

The title of one photo, which was a close up of the bag, read "Gotcha!" When I asked Jaebeom about that, he mumbled something about it being nothing and he pointedly shifted the subject to the plans for the following day.

"Well, church first then we have some more clean up to do around here still, but if the weather holds and we can get some work done outside, we should finish up by evening," my mom offered. "Sam's office already has power scheduled to be restored Monday as the business park has a generator, so he's heading back to work. Too many patients are in need of med refills, so there is no sense leaving them in a lurch. If our power's not back on by Monday, I suggest a road trip to a place with AC."

"Disney!" screamed Daniel, "Or Islands of Adventure!!!! We have year long passes, but haven't gone in ages. Jaebeom can get a day pass. Can we go? Please??!!"

I saw Jaebeom smiling brightly. I wasn't sure if it was because of Daniels enthusiasm or the prospect of going to a theme park.

"Jinyoung will be jealous," I quipped. "Islands of Adventure has Harry Potter World," I offered by way of explanation.

There is was. The dark thunderclouds of Jaebeom's emotions surfaced briefly on his face, and then in a flash they disappeared. What was that all about? I sure wish he would tell me, but then again it's not like I had a right to know his every thought and I wasn't exactly comfortable asking him about it either.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Dinner was relaxing. We sat on the screened-in back porch next to the pool. Out here there was a breeze that made the heat and humidity bearable. TJ had grilled up some burgers and a few vegetables. The meal was good and the company great. I felt as at home as I did with the boys, only less stressed because I had fewer responsibilities. I was exhausted from the self-induced anxiety over Sharay, the travel, time change, and drive from Atlanta, but I was in no rush to go to bed.

I enjoyed showing everyone the pictures of the guys eating Sharay's cookies. I also showed them the selca I had taken with little Jane. Included in my photos were a few from the awards ceremony, after party, and of course the infamous Yugyeom and Bambam bag snatching event. Sharay and Sam laughed the loudest at the pictures taken by Mark, especially the one of me tickling Yugyeom to get him to let the bag go.

I only had one moment where I had to sidestep of question regarding the meaning of "Gottcha". It was, after all, not just about Mark figuring out I was learning English, but that I had fallen for the "blue chocolate chip cookie girl." Fortunately, I think I was able to turn the topic to something else before it was noticed that I hadn't really responded.

When TJ went over the plans for the following day and mention Disney and Islands of Adventure as a road trip on Monday if the power was still off, I just had to laugh at Daniels response. His expressions were like a clone of Jackson's when doing aegyo.

It was only when Sharay mention that Jinyoung would be jealous about me getting to go to Harry Potter World that my damned insecurities and jealousy kicked in. I knew my facial expressions could be read like an open book, and hoped no one thought I was disinterested in the plan. I was actually looking forward to going to a theme park with Sharay. I even had a few ideas in mind to get some time alone with her, not that it would amount to anything since she didn't see me in that light.

That night, we slept with the windows open, hoping for some cross ventilation. That meant the doors to the rooms needed to stay open as well. My room had a door to the bathroom and on the opposite end was a door to Sharay's room. Both those doors were left open as well so the breeze from my north facing window could flow through Sharay's on the opposite end of the house.

Lying in bed, knowing Sharay was asleep in her room, without any barriers like walls or doors between us, was a special kind of torture. As I lay there on top of the sheets without any blankets, in nothing but my underwear, I had to admit that my earlier comment to Sam might need amending. Truth be told, my intentions about his daughter were not purely honorable, at least not at this moment they weren't.

 


	15. Magical Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anyone for the Magic Kingdom! This one's a bit longer to make up for the last short chapter.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Getting up in a half daze and very jet lagged, I walked to the bathroom to clean up. In my haze, I had forgotten that the door from the bathroom to Sharay's room was open.

"Excuse me! Do you mind?" I heard Sharay ask with a muffled voice due to the pillow over her head.

"Sorry. I forgot the door was open. My bad," I offered, as I rapidly closed the bathroom door that led to her room. Okay, that was embarrassing. At least I hadn't turned the light on so the room was dim. I mean, I'm pretty fit, but there's something very personal and revealing about being in your underwear, especially right after waking up. And I had on my navy blue boxer briefs that were rather formfitting. I could only hope Sharay had been quick about putting that pillow over her head. I'd have to plan better for tomorrow morning.

Since we had a ton of things to do around the house, we ate quickly then headed to church. Though it was nice to be back on the weekend I thought I would be absent, I have to confess that the AC was something most of us were thankful for. Because of the hurricane, a number of people had evacuated, so Rick was down a few people. He snagged me and asked if I could join the worship team. He was planning on songs I already knew, so I happily assisted.

The rest of the day was spent clearing debris from around the house and assisting some of the elderly neighbors with their needs. Come night, we were all hot and thankful for a dip in the pool to cool down.

"Come on, Jaebeom!" shouted Daniel, who was already in the pool. "Jump in!"

I headed to the deep end and did a cannonball, splashing water everywhere as I landed. Lunk barked furiously. He loved it when water splashed, but refused to get in the pool.

Sharay joined us at the pool's edge and dove in, barely making a splash at all.

"Come on!?" Daniel begged. "Let's play Marco Polo."

After a round or two, I was getting a bit waterlogged. Sharay could swim circles around a fish, she was so good. Daniel, on the other hand, splashed and made so much noise he was easy to trap, even with my eyes closed.

There was one time though when I snagged Sharay, thinking it was Daniel. When I caught her, my hands gripped her waist on either side. My eyes popped open and I stood there holding her in the water. She was mere inches away and I couldn't break eye contact. Her eyes were their beautiful green, with droplets of water pearling on her lashes.

Shaking my head to free myself from what felt like a spell, I gently spun and set her down on the bench built into the side of the pool and reluctantly release my grip on her sides. The whole time, Sharay remained silent, only returned my look.

"Dinner will be ready in a few," called TJ, interrupting my thoughts. "Come on out of the pool and let's eat. You all must be starving."

Over dinner of BBQ pizza (yes there really is a way to grill a pizza) we planned our road trip to Orlando. We were going to head out early so we could make it to the park close to opening time. TJ had already booked a suite for us at the Cabana Bay Resort where would be stay after the park closed.

The first day we were scheduled to go to Magic Kingdom. Though it was geared more towards littler kids, I really wanted to check out Pirates of the Caribbean and some of the Mickey Mouse and other classic Disney things that I remembered from my childhood. Also, I knew that Sharay was a big Winnie the Pooh fan and Daniel had seemed so excited about going to Space Mountain.

Sleeping Sunday night was as hot and sticky as it had been the night before, but this time I made sure to have a pair of shorts handy for the morning. I wasn't going to repeat being over exposed again.

Monday we awoke at 5am and piled into my rental car. I started out driving, offering TJ the chance to rest a bit on the first leg of the trip. She said she would take over when we got to Interstate 4, which runs East and West across the state and through the Orlando area, because she claimed the driving got a bit crazy there. Though she said it wasn't nearly as bad as Seoul, it was confusing enough if you didn't know your way. Since she and Daniel frequently went to Orlando for his various acting gigs, she felt it would just be easiest for her to take over at that point.

Pulling out of the driveway, Sharay was riding shotgun, Daniel sat behind me, and TJ was already resting her head against a pillow in the back passenger side of the car. As she "wasn't a morning person," this worked given that I was still a little bit on a Korean time schedule.

Driving up I-75, we settled into a familiar pattern listening to a book on tape. In honor of our trip's destination, Sharay dug into her collection and chose the first book in the "Kingdom Keeper's" series by Ridley Pearson. I was able to imagine some of the park's layout due to the descriptions given in the story and couldn't wait to see if I could look in a trash can and see the garbage slide that lead to the underground tunnels where the trash was collected and also where the characters and their handlers walked when going from one event area in the park to another.

About an hour out, the cell phone connection kicked in and my messages started alerting that I had missed a number of calls. Handing my phone back to Daniel, I asked him, "Could you please unlock my phone and dial a number for me?"

"Sure can," Daniel offered as he took my phone as I passed it back to him.

"Daniel knows how to unlock your phone?" Sharay asked, not too terribly surprised as she knew her brother's apparent hacking skills.

"Yeah. It's..." Daniel began to respond when I interrupted him.

"None of our business," I completed, to ward off her discovering that it was her birth day and month.

"Yeah. It's none of your business," repeated Daniel, stifling a giggle. He then proceeded to dial the number I gave him and handed me back the phone. I took the phone and turned off the CD for a few minutes.

"Hey, it's me," I said to Jackson. "What's up?"

As I listened, I was glad I had left him in charge. Having been on the receiving end of some of the most heinous and bogus charges by netizen and anti-fans, he was fast becoming an expert in responding to false claims and assumptions. He knew how to notify the JYP legal team and get things addressed quickly.

"So you consulted with JYP about this first right?" I confirmed. "And you and Yugyeom both said the same approach had been made to you?"

I paused to listen to his responses, as I inquired, "So is it still up, or has it been taken down? Yeah I know there's no way to control uploads that occurred in the meantime. Thanks for doing your best. Sorry about that. I tried to control it at the time, but since you say it wasn't a high quality shot it must have been from someone other than a reporter. JYP is taking legal action regarding the defamation, right? Okay, I'll get back with you later. Be good and say hi to everyone else from me, okay?"

As I hung up the phone, I glanced at Sharay to see if she had understood my side of the conversation or not, but she had her phone out and was intently looking at something. I had tried to be cryptic and spoke very quickly to decrease the chances of her following along.

I really didn't want her to find out about the girl at the party who had wrapped her arms around me and the fact that a photo had been taken and circulated with the caption that I was sleeping around with some person I met at the party on Friday. Fortunately, even if she did see it, she would know it was a false claim, as it went on to say that I was also seen dropping the girl off at her place on Saturday night, when I was obviously arriving in Atlanta around that time.

Sharay didn't inquire about the conversation, and I offered nothing. I figured that I would take Daniel's word about Sharay holding grudges to heart and decided that if I couldn't be forthright about the situation, I certainly wasn't going to lie or give a half truth. I was sure that would engender her wrath when, not if, she found out about it. Also, it would seem a little strange if I tried to explain it when she knew nothing about it.

I switched off with TJ at a Flying J gas station not far from the I-4 turnoff. Daniel called shotgun, so Sharay and I both piled into the back seat after grabbing a snack and a drink. TJ was awake now that she had access to a large coffee. Caffeine did wonders!

We pulled into the Magic Kingdom about 9 am just after the park opened, so we were able to park relatively near the entrance. I seriously wanted to check out the Captain Jack Sparrow's Pirate Tutorial. I had been looking on line with Sharay since her mom took over driving and we saw this began at 10:30 so headed in that direction after the monorail ride and bag search to get into the Magic Kingdom.

**[Magic Kingdom Park Map](http://www.wdwinfo.com/maps/MK.htm) **

Walking down Main Street, we got to the roundabout in the center where there was a statue of Walt Disney holding hands with Mickey Mouse. We stopped and took some selcas with Cinderella's Castle in the background. After that we backtracked a little bit and turned to right, walking past the Crystal Palace, where TJ stopped and made reservations for us for later in the day.

After crossing a little bridge, we turned left and crossed another one and continued on until we came to the Swiss Family Tree House on our left. Daniel took off like a shot and we went in pursuit of him. The set up was amazing. A replica of the tree house from the story was set up, complete with books, bed, organ from the shipwreck, and everything.

I had the fleeting thought of being stranded in such a place with Sharay and the smile on my face must have given me away, because Sharay asked, "So you wouldn't mind being stuck alone in a place like this would you?"

"Well, not alone. I'd want good company," I hedged. "Care to be stranded with me?"

"Hmmm. I could think of worse things," she acknowledged, before moving to the next room of the tree house. Sharay stopped dead in her tracks and attempted to back pedal quickly, bumping into me after tripping over my feet. I caught her just as she stumbled, placing my hands on either side of her hips to steady her.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she extricated herself from my hold on her.

"Nothing to be sorry about," I replied. "That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right," she said, as she exited the area a little too quickly.

Looking up and into the room she was avoiding, I softly chuckled to myself. It was the bedroom. No wonder she was flustered. The timing of her comment and the implications of the room must have embarrassed her. As I scanned the room and thought of my earlier question, I could feel my own cheeks getting a little hot too, so I turned and caught up with Sharay.

After the tree house, we made a stop by Aladdin's Magic Carpet ride. It was a slow, easy going ride that was an enjoyable relief from the heat that had picked up. The breeze while going around was refreshing.

By 10:15 we made it to the Pirates of the Caribbean area and lined up to see if we could participate in the Pirate Tutorial with a Johnnie Depp look-a-like playing Jack Sparrow.

Daniel had already shared with me that the trick of the sword fight was to flee and run away not actually fight, so when I was picked to participate, I knew exactly what was expected. However, I also knew that if I ran away and Jackson ever found out, he would chew me out after having spent hours showing me some of the moves from his fencing days. So, I attacked and scared the crap out of the actor who wasn't expecting anyone to know any fencing moves. In true form, he ...ran away!

Over the course of the day, we went on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad in Fontierland, TJ gave us an in depth history lesson and Sharay told me all 45 presidents forwards and backwards, in under a minute, while we toured Liberty Square. We went through the Haunted Mansion as well and I could only imagine Jackson getting so scared we'd have to carry him out. Maybe the "Chicken Room" was designed just for him, I thought.

It was like a whirlwind tour of the park, as we also hit Mickey's PhilharMagic, Prince Charming's Carrousel, and the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. On that last ride, Sharay reminded me that the multiple of dwarf was spelled "dwarves" in every case except in Disney. Still teaching me in the midst of hurricane evacuation and theme park fun. The girl was relentless.

The "It's a Small World" ride made me laugh, as I envisioned the mini dolls from all the countries coming alive and attacking the boat in cannibalistic form just like in the story we were listening to. By the time we were done there, we all had the stupid song stuck in our heads and couldn't get it out. To dislodge it from our brains, I started singing "Just Right." Fortunately, the crowd was mostly young families who weren't likely interested in Kpop, so it did the trick without drawing any unnecessary attention.

Daniel wanted to head over to Tomorrowland, so he and TJ headed off, while Sharay and I went on a couple of her favorite rides, which included the Winnie the Pooh and the Mad TeaParty rides.

As we were entering the ride, Sharay moved towards a yellow cup, not surprising since it was her favorite color. As we got into the cup, a girl about 20 years-old jumped in with us and saddled up alongside of me, with a smile on her face.

"You don't mind if I join you?" she asked, not including Sharay in the meaning of the word 'you'.

"Mmmm. Well," I stammered, not sure if we had the right to decline. Before I could do anything about this intruder, the attendant came and secured the outer door, sealing the side of the cup.

As the ride began, the platform the cups were on spun in a counter-clockwise direction. In addition, each set of four cups was on separate spinning disks rotating clockwise. In the center of each cup there was a steering type mechanism that you could use to turn each individual cup as well.

As I moved closer to Sharay and away from the girl I had mentally named "the Intruder", she scooted closer to me and grabbed the spinner to turn our cup. It seemed as though she was purposefully trying to get me to lean into her, as she would giggle and grab my thigh as the forces shifted us so we bumped together.

Looking at Sharay, I noticed she had a very noncommittal look on her face for the most part, but offered me a quiet smile when we slammed together. She never mentioned the other girl and her hands never once touched me. I thought to myself that I wished it bothered her at least a little that this girl was obviously coming on to me and imagined if it had been Sharay who grabbed my thigh instead.

"Do you mind?" I finally said to the Intruder with annoyance. It was a fine line between calling her out on inappropriate actions and calling too much attention to myself. I didn't want the latter, as it could ruin the chance to walk freely about the park with Sharay if my identity were discovered.

"Excuse me," she replied coyly and gave me a wink.

As we exited the ride, the Intruder swayed and pretended to be dizzy. As she seemed to lose her balance, she grabbed my arm with one of hers and reached for my chest with the other. While I was contemplating how to deflect her, Sharay grabbed her hand and said, "You poor thing. You should avoid this ride if it throws off your equilibrium like that."

Without another word, Sharay yanked her grasp from my arm and steered her away and plunked her down on a chair just outside the ride's exit. From a bit away I saw Sharay lean in and say something to the girl, pat her on the head, at which point she rejoined me. I'm not sure what words had been exchanged, but it was clear it was a rebuke. The girl remained where she was, while we returned to the line for another ride on the cups.

As we waited our turn, I inquired, "What did you say to her? She gave you the dirtiest look ever as you were rejoining me."

"I told her you were gay and had just come out so were feeling uncomfortable with her advances," Sharay offered casually. It was hard to tell if she was being serious or not because she was so good giving a deadpan look, but I figured I better let it drop as it either was what she said or she was purposefully refusing to share. Either way, it did seem to do the trick.

I wasn't too thrilled about the idea of someone being told I was gay though, even in this case. While I have no problem with people who are gay, it just wasn't what I was into.

It was bad enough when I accidentally stumbled upon fanfiction that had me in compromising positions with females, but it was way uncomfortable for me when it involved numerous partners, especially when one or more were guys, much less one of my group members.

Was I supposed to just let it slide? Wasn't I allowed to be who I am and not feel forced to accept and agree with something I wasn't, without being branded as a homophobe? I mean just being hetero didn't mean I had a problem with others if they were gay.

As I was thinking these things, I looked at Sharay only to discover that she was outright laughing at me.

"Did you really think I would say such a thing?" she offered. "Even if it were the truth, I would never share that with a stranger. It wouldn't be my story to tell."

I sighed in relief, more at her comment about keeping personal things personal, "What did you tell her then?" I decided the direct approach would be best.

"Only the truth. That you're my best friend and only visiting for a short time and I didn't appreciate her muscling in on my time with you. I suggested she ask you outright if you wanted her to join us, but she declined." And with that Sharay climbed into the awaiting yellow teacup.

This time we had the cup to ourselves and we bumped and slammed into one another without interference from a third party and left the ride with big smiles on our faces. Walking past the Intruder, who was still sitting at the exit, I threw my arm over Sharay's shoulders and said so the girl could hear as we passed, "Best friends come with benefits," and kissed Sharay on the top of her head. I wanted to imply to this girl that we were more than just best friends. If Sharay asked, I could play it off as wanting to mess with the Intruder, when it's what I wished were the truth.

After the Mad Hatter ride, we also caught Ariel at her grotto, tried the Barnstormer mini-rollercoaster, and cooled off in the water at the splash and soak station where Sharay befriended a little boy who had lost his parents.

While the park officials were trying to track the parent down, Sharay played with the little child in the water and kept his attention elsewhere so he wouldn't cry until he was happily reunited with his frightened parents. They were so appreciative of Sharay spotting his distress and calling in the assistance of the park people, as well as occupying him until their arrival, that they gave her two tickets to the Cirque du Soleil La Nouba show the following night at 9 pm.

I enjoyed watching her motherly interaction with this child and thought how she would be a good mother to her own, our own, children.

Damn, I had to get a grip on reality. Sharay didn't even consider me her bias and here I was fantasizing about her being the mother of my children. Why was I getting so far ahead of myself? We hadn't even held hands. I mean, sure, she slept in my arms that first evening in the car, but that wasn't exactly voluntary on her part. If only I had known then how I would feel about her in the short time to follow, I would have appreciated that closeness all the more.

Towards mid-afternoon, we met up with TJ and Daniel in Tomorrowland, where Daniel had been riding Space Mountain non-stop. After a few rides on that, we headed to the Crystal Palace for our reserved buffet time. I was starving, as we had only snacked a bit throughout the day.

The dinner buffet at the Crystal Palace was fabulous. They had so many options and it was all you can eat. I ate so much I actually thought I would pop. On the way out from dinner we caught the flag retreat at 5pm and the 5:30 pm Move It! Shake It! Dance & Play It! Street Party.

A few attractions later and it was getting late. Daniel was looking a little green from all the sweets he'd consumed as well as the rides he had been going on. Nonetheless, he held out until 9:45pm for the "Once Upon a Time" light show and fireworks.

As the fireworks went off and Cinderella's Castle was lit with a spectacular array of lights, I looked over at Sharay knew why this place was called the Magic Kingdom. There was something childlike and innocent being here and enjoying our time together without the stresses and pressures of the real world. I knew I would treasure this time for ever.

Once the show was over we, along with just about everyone else, headed for the monorail and rode back to the parking area. Getting into our car, we made the brief drive to our hotel and checked in.

Daniel was feeling awful. His stomach and head were hurting him. I guess he had too much excitement topped off by too much food, so he took a shower and headed to bed. He and Sharay were sharing a bed while TJ would be sleeping in the other one in the room. I was set to sleep on the pull out couch.

I pulled out the couch bed readying it for sleep, when Sharay came out of the bedroom and joined me for a while. We were both wound up from the day and needed to do something to help us relax so we could sleep. We had already decided to sleep in until 9 am and risk getting to the Islands of Adventure an hour after opening time.

"Daniel's feeling really hot. I think he overdid things today," TJ came out and told us. "I think he and I will stay here tomorrow while you two head to the Harry Potter thing. If he feels better he can get in a swim. It's not like we can't come again, though I know he'll be sad to miss out on having you with us when we do." And with that, she headed in to check on Daniel and get some sleep.

"Maybe we should stay here tomorrow and do the pool with Daniel," I offered.

"Not likely!" Sharay replied. "This is part of your Potterhead fandom indoctrination. Besides, you need bragging rights when you go head to head with Jinyoung over who knows the most about Harry Potter. Also, though Daniel will feel bad that he will miss the chance to go there with you, he would really feel guilty if you missed out on it because of him. You know how he is." And with that, she had me convinced. I wouldn't want to make Daniel feel guilty and I needed every edge I could get over Jinyoung, though not in the way she was thinking.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Okay that was a wake up I didn't expect to see. I think I need a cold shower now. I mean what in the world was Jaebeom thinking parading around in his underwear when my door was open. He was wearing a pair of dark, probably navy blue, Tommy Hilfiger boxer briefs. These weren't the loose cotton old man boxers, but the form fitting ones that looked more like the shorts bike racers wore, and they left very little to the imagination.

I was thankful the lighting was dim so I couldn't make out the details, but even with just a quick glance before grabbing a pillow to cover my eyes, I couldn't help but notice that Jaebeom had a very nice muscular backside and strong thighs. I know I could have just closed my eyes, but the temptation to stare was great, so the pillow served to stop me from sneaking another peek. As an added bonus, it also covered my flaming red cheeks.

I called out to get him to close the door, more for his protection than my own. He seemed so groggy that I don't think he had remembered the doors were open to let what little breeze there was to circulate. I just hope he didn't notice that I had copped a good look before covering my head. I was now thankful that he wore a surfer swimsuit the times we had been at the pool and the beach. I don't think I could have handled anything more formfitting.

When we met up for breakfast, I made a point of not looking at Jaebeom for fear I would turn red again. I mean seriously! How could I read the logo, large though it was, on his boxers and be able to describe how he looked in them when I had only seen him that way for a moment? Maybe I had looked for longer than I thought? Good job I stopped at his backside and legs or my eye would have probably popped out it I had looked at anything else... Enough of that. If I were Catholic I would be saying Hail Mary's and Our Father's for a month at this rate. Good thing we were heading to church 'cuz I needed some.

Speaking of church, Jaebeom got to sing with the worship team since a few people were unable to make it because of evacuations, damage, flooding and what not. I hadn't expected to hear him singing today, but with his early return, I felt double blessed by his presence and his voice.

Cleaning up around the house and neighborhood after church was hot and tiring. With no AC to get a respite from the heat, we all decided a swim would help cool us down. Jaebeom, Daniel and I had a blast in the pool and Lunk dashed around the edge trying to bite the water that splashed from the pool.

I had almost forgotten the boxer briefs until we were playing Marco Polo then the thought of him in them crossed my mind again. Towards the end, Jaebeom finally caught me. I think he thought I was Daniel at first, but when he opened his eyes and looked right at me, I knew he had figured out I wasn't.

Swiftly, but gently her spun me around and set me on the bench in the pool. It was probably my imagination and wishful thinking, but I had the fleeting impression that his hands remained on my sides a little longer than they needed to be there for this maneuver. I'm sure I turned red, but hoped he would think it was just my fair skin reacting to the heat and the sun from the day's work.

On Monday's ride to Orlando, I was sitting in the front passenger seat while Jaebeom drove. Mom was sleeping in the back, sitting behind me and Daniel behind Jaebeom. When Jaebeom's phone went off, he fished it out of his pocket and asked me to pass it back to Daniel for him to open.

Though I knew Daniel had some pretty mad hacker skills, I wondered when he had hacked Jaebeom's phone lock. Neither would share the answer to that, but I got the feeling there was way more to it than they were letting on. Through a series of instructions, Daniel placed a called and returned the phone to Jaebeom.

While that was going on, my own notifications went off. I had a text message from Nate and a Facebook link from Hailey. As always, I went to Nate's first as he usually didn't send messages. When he did it was either about troubles with Hailey or trying to minimize the impact of whatever message she was sending. I wondered what was up.

// _Internet and cell service is back on, at least for now. Just wanted to warn you not to take what Hailey is sending you seriously. I'm sure there's a good explanation. Nate_ //

As usual, Nate was not one for long messages. This wasn't necessarily a good thing when they were as cryptic as this one. So, I took a deep breath and was about to open Hailey's message when I heard what Jaebeom was talking about.

I really wasn't purposefully eaves dropping. Jaebeom was speaking really quickly, almost like he didn't want me to follow along, which only made me more curious. Something about pictures not being of a good quality and it not being the reporter. He mentioned something about the JYP legal team and defamation. He sounded a bit miffed about the situation, but seemed to feel as though the person he was talking to had things under control. I assumed it was probably Jackson. He also mentioned Yugyeom's name once.

Returning to my message from Hailey, I immediately knew what the conversation had been about. The photo she sent me was one of Jaebeom. It showed him in the suit he had worn to the awards ceremony on Friday night. He was walking out of a dark hallway and a stunningly beautiful woman had her arms serpentined around his torso. One hand was reaching through the buttons of his shirt searching for contact with his smooth chest.

I was about to close out the link, as I didn't want to have the image of someone being that intimate with him burned into my memory, when I noticed the look on his face in the picture and the placement of his hands. Jaebeom was pissed off, and it wasn't at those looking on and taking photographs. No. His anger was directed towards the lady behind him, and his hands were on their way to extricating her arms from his waist.

Looking at the caption, which was in Hangul, I was able to make out a few of the words. Most of the meaning I derived from the context. Something about him being with her on Friday night and seen leaving her place on Saturday evening.

Right there I stopped and realized it was all concocted, since Jaebeom had probably already landed in Atlanta by the Saturday time mentioned for his little tryst at her place.

Though I was relieved there was nothing to the story, I had to admit that the closeness of this beautiful lady to Jaebeom still made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew this was primarily because she wasn't the first, nor would she be the last, who would come on to him this boldly. I also knew that I never had a chance when up against a glamorous lady like this and that realization made me sad.

There was no way I could compete. It just wasn't in me to fake being that kind of person. I would only want him to like me if he liked me for me and that wasn't about to happen. I resigned myself to just being the best "best friend" I could be. There was no sense in getting upset or jealous. One day he would have someone he cared about, and though the idea haunted me, I knew I would have to find a way to be happy for him at that time. As such, I made no mention of the photo or that I knew there had been a "scandal."

We finally arrived at the Magic Kingdom and we really made the most of the day. There were a few times though were I must admit things got a bit dicey. For instance, in the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House, I suggested that he wouldn't probably mind being stranded in a place like that; after all it had an organ and tons of books. I was sure he would be content on his own in that environment, as Jaebeom was one who could happily entertain himself for hours.

When he said he would prefer good company and asked if I would care to join him, I replied that I could think of worse things.

Why did my mouth kick in before my brain when I was around him? He made me feel so comfortable sometimes that I let my guard down. At other times, I was on edge being in his presence.

To deflect my comment, I turned and entered the next room in the tree house, only to find myself standing in the master bedroom with a large bed right in front of me. I got so flustered. What if he thought that's what I meant? Doing a quick turn to dart out of there, I ended up bumping right into Jaebeom and lost my balance as I stumbled on his feet. In my effort to get out of an embarrassing situation, I placed myself in an even greater one.

Feeling Jaebeom's strong hands holding my hips was both intoxicating and emotionally painful at the same time. How could he touch me so casually and yet cause me to feel so much? It was a struggle as I both craved his touch and yet shied away from any skinship, because I knew it didn't mean the same for him as it did for me. So, I extricated myself from his hold and quickly moved to another area of the tree house still quite flustered.

As the day continued, we were all having a blast; from Jaebeom going on the attack against the Captain Jack wannabe, to the Small World encounter. Actually, we all had a great laugh trying to imagine the figures coming to life and attacking us and as we left our boats, we launched into singing "Just Right" in order to dislodge the "It's a Small World" song from our heads.

Around mid-day, Daniel and Mom headed over to Tomorrowland, as my brother just loved Space Mountain. Meanwhile, Jaebeom and I headed off on our own. After my favorite Pooh Bear ride, we walked over to get in line for the Mad Hatter. I was really looking forward to seeing if we could spin the cup really fast since Jaebeom had such strong arms, but as we entered one of the cups, another girl got on with us. She had been in line a bit behind us and had been eyeing up Jaebeom the whole time.

Though I wasn't surprised that she maneuvered to be in our cup, I was a bit miffed that she grabbed the spinning wheel and made every effort to turn the cup so that Jaebeom would be repeatedly forced to bump into her.

I could easily see the attraction to him, but couldn't fathom how anyone could have the chutzpah to basically grope a stranger like that. Did that kind of approach really work?

I was super irritated when she grabbed his thigh on more than one occasion, but who was I to complain when he didn't seem to mind. I wondered if maybe he was a player, then he proved he wasn't when he finally called her out.

I was hoping that would be the end of it, but her apologetic response was insincere, as it was followed by a wink. As we exited the ride, the girl pulled a typical Kdrama stunt by pretending to be dizzy and grabbing on to Jeabum's arms.

She went to reach for his chest, and the memory of the girl at the party reaching for his chest came to mind and I instinctively wrenched her away from him, making some excuse about getting her to sit down if she felt so poorly. Sitting her down, out of Jaebeom's hearing I made a not so veiled threat. I actually lied through my teeth and said he was my boyfriend and that she should back off.

Rejoining Jaebeom, I jokingly told him that I had shared with her that he was gay and her advances made him uncomfortable. I gave it my best straight face ever and he even bought it. The look on his face was priceless.

Finally, I couldn't hold it in any more and burst out laughing. When he asked what I really told her, I said what I really should have, namely that we were friends and he was only here for a while and I'd appreciate it if she didn't interfere with the limited time we had together. Fortunately, since this was the real truth about our relationship, he accepted it without question.

Jaebeom suggested we go on the ride again, this time just the two of us. I was feeling a bit guilty about the lie I had told, not the lie I told to the girl, but the one to Jaebeom. As we left the ride though, the girl was still sitting there sulking, or maybe thinking if she should try something again, when I heard Jaebeom speak. I was pretty sure he said if for her benefit, but what exactly was he implying by the term "best friends with benefits?"

My heart gave an involuntary leap before I could settle it down, knowing he was just playing around. It did, however, make me feel better about not telling him what I really said to her. If anything I could say I was joking around like he had. I also vowed I wouldn't tell him a lie again. I might omit the truth about how I really felt, but that was all.

As we made our way around the park, we came to the splash and soak station. While were playing, I spotted this little boy sobbing. Everyone else was ignoring him. Maybe they thought the teardrops were merely water droplets from the spray, because he made no sound. He was beyond the wailing stage. His sobbing was silent, but his breath was ragged and his little chest was heaving. I approached him, squatted down to his level, and looked him in the eye.

"What's the matter little one?" I cooed in as soothing a voice as I could muster when my heart was aching for this little tike.

"My...my...mommy. Can't find...my...my...mommy," he choked out between gasps and silent sobs.

As he said this, I scooped him into a hug and reassured him we would find his mommy. His sobs slowly eased and I let him go, offered him my hand and said, "Come on. Let's go find someone who can get hold of your mommy."

After getting the park security involved, I played with little Gavin, as I came to find out was his name, to keep his mind off his worries. We splashed in the water and had a total blast.

Jaebeom sat nearby and watched from a distance. I wondered if he liked children, then dismissed the thought as quickly as I had it. I certainly didn't want to think about him having a wife and children, though I was sure any child of his would have the sweetest smile and the cutest little eye smiles.

Shaking my head, I went back to playing with my new little buddy until his mom and dad showed up, just about as frantic has he had been when I first discovered him.

"Thank you so much for keeping our little boy safe and distracting him until we could be found. Please, accept these tickets to the Cirque du Soleil. They're for tomorrow night. We were planning on getting a sitter and going, but I think I want to spend the time with Gavin instead. This could have been the last day we saw him. I just can't imagine what could have happened," offered the mom.

The dad, who was holding Gavin in one arm, wrapped his other around his wife and just nodded his head in agreement.

"Thank you. You don't have to though."

"Yes. Yes we do," came the response from both, so I felt it would be rude to decline.

Meeting back up with my mom and Daniel, we spent the latter part of the afternoon at Space Mountain and then went for a long overdue dinner at the Crystal palace.

Okay, I know we only had snacks throughout the day, but boy could that boy eat! I swear when Jaebeom ate, he all but unhinged his jaw to fit in mounds of food in a single bit. Daniel, so taken by his "hyung," attempted to match him bite for bite.

After dinner, the flag retreat, the early evening dance party, and the late night fireworks and light show, we headed home. I was really happy that Jaebeom got to experience the Magic Kingdom without any fans spotting him and interrupting his free time. I was, however, a little concerned my brother had over done it. He was clearly not feeling too well. As usually he had been on full throttle the whole day and probably over did the rides as well as the food, especially the sugar.

As we got to our hotel room, it was clear that Daniel's head and stomach were aching. Mom helped him get ready for bed and set him up in one of the double beds in the bedroom.

In order to give him and my mom some space, I returned to the living area where Jaebeom had already pulled out his sofa bed. Jaebeom seemed worried about something, and when I pressed him on it he admitted that he was concerned about Daniel and wondered if we should skip Islands of Adventure tomorrow to keep him company.

Knowing my brother would be sad to miss out on tomorrow's park adventure, but would feel guilty if Jaebeom missed the opportunity, I said as much. In an effort to encourage Jaebeom, I also suggested he would want to one-up Jinyoung in his exposure to the Harry Potter fandom. I'm not sure which, if any, comment made him change his mind, but Jaebeom changed his thinking and decided to join me the next day after all.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As we sat on the edge of the pullout bed, I looked at this girl who had become so important to me. I wanted to tell her as much, but the fear of rejection paralyzed me and prevented the words from leaving my lips. Instead, I stood up and moved so I was standing in front of her. Bending down so I was at eye level, I offered, "Thank you for a wonderful day. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow."

With that, I kissed her on the forehead and, pulling her to her feet, gave her a long hug that I hoped would express what I couldn't say. When she returned my hug, I felt my heart lurch with hope. We stayed that way for quite some time, until she finally pulled back saying she should probably get some sleep.

It had been a long day, so I was pretty tired as well. Shortly after resting my head on my pillow, the memory of holding Sharay and the feeling of her arms wrapped around my back in a hug was the last thing on my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting ready to head out to the GOT7 concert in Houston so will be gone for about a week starting on July 5th . As such, I'm gonna try posting two chapters or more per day until my departure to tide you over until I return on July 12th.


	16. Horntails and Fireballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung would be so jealous. Jaebeom gets to go to Islands of Adventure and Harry Potter World!
> 
> Can I say how thankful I am that I live near Disney World and can go quite frequently?!

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

One minute Jaebeom was sitting quietly by me and the next he was standing up, bending down in front of me and thanking me for the day, while planting a kiss on my forehead. Time seemed to stand still, as he pulled me to my feet and wrapped me in his arms in a hug that felt like so much more than that of a friend. I couldn't help but hug him in return. I wanted this. I didn't want it to end and I didn't want to face the truth that this was merely the hug of a very good friend.

Jaebeom was hugging me in a way that made me feel like I could melt into him and we could become a single person. My hands and fingers could feel the muscles in his back ripple each time he moved his arms around me. As I rested my head against his chest, I could hear his heart pounding. I knew it was only my wishful thinking, but I imagined it was beating more rapidly and stronger than normal. I knew this was everything I wanted, and yet reality was that, well, it wasn't real.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. I really needed to get a grip and stop torturing myself this way. Jaebeom was my best friend. Emphasis on friend. I wasn't a glamorous beauty who could meet his needs or his status. I was "safe" and "normal". Someone he could be around without being threatened. Unlike the girl at the party, where it was easily misunderstood as something romantic, no one would ever mistake our friendship for anything but platonic. Only I was foolish enough to wish for something different. Something more.

As I grappled with these truths and the emotions they engendered, I realized I had to rethink how I should act around him. I needed time to organize my thoughts, and being in Jaebeom's arms was not a place where my mind was clear enough to do that. As much as I wanted to stay right here in his arms and never leave, I forced myself to let go and back away from him.

I heard myself say, "I think I need some sleep. See you in the morning," in a very small voice. On autopilot, I turned from him and walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Resting against the sink, I steadied myself and took deep breaths trying to slow my heart rate. Jaebeom was able to make me feel and believe things that just weren't possible. The problem wasn't my feelings, but that fact that it was impossible that he would ever reciprocate them.

I stood there for quite some time before I headed to bed. Daniel was sleeping with Mom. He really must have been feeling terrible, but I was thankful in a selfish way because it meant I had the other bed to myself.

Crawling between the sheets, I curled into a ball. I was struggling with the emotions that were welling up in me. I wanted to be close to Jaebeom. I wanted his hugs, but in the same token I didn't want to be in a one-sided love. As I lay there mulling the options, I could only come to one conclusion. I needed to pull away from Jaebeom, at least from his physical touch, or I would risk letting on how I felt and lose him as a friend.

I recalled that my mom said Jaebeom was not the touchy feely type. That he was more reserved than the others and less likely to be involved in skinship. She must have been mistaken and mixed him up with one of the others because he was definitely very free with his skinship. Apparently, holding and touching people was something that came easily with those around him. Why else would he hug me so much, kiss me on the forehead, touch me so tenderly?

Still in a ball, I knew what I had to do. I had to cut off all physical contact. I was like an alcoholic. Moderation wasn't something I understood. It was either all or nothing, and nothing was what it was going to have to be for the sake of Jaebeom and our friendship, because all was impossible since he didn't feel the same way as I did. Coming to this realization, the tears started to flow and I slowly started to sob. Since my mom and brother didn't awake, I assumed that I was quiet enough that Jaebeom wouldn't hear me either. Still I tried to be as quiet as possible and finally let the exhaustion of the day's activities and my emotional rollercoaster take over. I finally fell into a fitful sleep.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I knew I had fallen asleep, but I woke to the sound of soft sobs coming from the other room. I propped my head up on my arm to listen better with both ears. It was definitely sobbing and it was clearly Sharay. I looked at the clock and realized it had been 30 minutes since I had dropped off to sleep. Had she been awake crying this whole time?

I lay there listening to her, my heart aching at the sounds of her weeping. What could be so wrong? Had I done anything to cause it? I racked my brain to see if I had said or done anything to cause her pain, but couldn't figure it out. It crossed my mind that maybe I had overstepped the line when hugging her and made her feel violated, but she clearly had returned the hug and didn't seem to object. I couldn't exactly go in and check on her either. I struggled with what to do and couldn't find a solution. I could only hope that in the morning there would be a clear answer. I only hoped it was one I could live with.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Morning came and with it a new resolve. I showered, got dressed, and prepared to face the day. Time to face Jaebeom on different terms.

Walking out into the living area, Jaebeom was already dressed. He must have showered before I got up. He was wearing torn jeans, tennis shoes, and a white long-sleeved Thrasher T-shirt that hugged his broad shoulders and arm muscles. In his hand he had his sunglasses and bucket hat. This was going to be harder than I thought. Oh, and did he really think it would be wise to head out to a theme park dressed like none other than JB the leader and member of GOT7? I mean his whole look screamed "KPOP IDOL."

"You're wearing that?" I asked incredulously.

"Sure, what's wrong with it," he retorted.

"Nothing, unless you want anyone who even remotely knows who you are to spot you today," I smarted back.

Wasn't it bad enough that I had to push back my feelings? Now he was dressed to kill and was flaunting who he was, which could very well lead to tons of people identifying him. I would have to sit back and watch others flock to him, and all I could do was take a back seat and hope to not make things any worse.

"I can deal with that, should the time come. I know exactly how to address it. If anything happens, just follow my lead. Trust me," he offered with a crooked smile and a wink.

I heaved a heavy sigh, not because of what he said but because of how hard it was going to be keeping my distance from him if he continued being cute and squishy like this.

I abruptly turned on my heels and called to my mom letting her know we were heading out and would be back late. I turned without looking at Jaebeom and proceeded towards the door and the awaiting shuttle to the Universal park.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I got up early and showered, then dressed in one of my favorite outfits. I had decided last night that I wasn't going to hide any more. I was going to be myself and if that meant Sharay would know how I felt about her, then so be it. I would deal with the consequences, whatever they were. I knew I couldn't keep my feelings to myself any longer, not if there was a chance I had caused her to cry last night. I needed her to know and, if it made her uncomfortable, I would at least have been honest and then could stuff my emotions, if need be, to keep her as a friend.

Sharay emerged from the bedroom wearing overalls. Not the stupid kind we wore during the Stop Stop It era. These were shorts and were made up of patchwork denim of various shades. She had on a white short sleeved T-shirt underneath it, ankle high socks and tennis shoes. She looked so cute and very young. I smiled at the thought of us walking together through Harry Potter World, her looking like a young teen and me all bad a$$. I could only hope Sharay approved of how I looked.

Her response to me was not exactly what I had been hoping for. I bristled when she asked me in an accusatory tone, "You're wearing that?"

It looked like things weren't going well. I got defensive and with bravado said I would handle it if I was identified. Sharay merely huffed and turned her back to me. My frustration level was being reached super fast.

The resort shuttle dropped us off at the entrance to Universal and we headed towards the park. The entire ride had been in silence, but it wasn't the comfortable kind. It was strained and thick with emotion on both our parts. I was confused and didn't know how to proceed. How was I supposed to break through this wall I felt Sharay had erected?

Entering the park we hung a right. We planned spending the entire day in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter – Hogsmeade, so didn't delay and went straight there, by-passing Seuss Landing and the Lost Colony.

There was little conversation between Sharay and me, aside from suggestions on where to go and whether we enjoyed a particular attraction or shop.

Despite the awkward silence, both of us enjoyed the Escape from Gringots ride. Even the wait in the line was fantastic, as the bank building with the animatronic goblins was way cool. We had lunch at the Three Broomsticks, checked out Filch's Emporium of Confiscated Goods, Dervish and Banks, and Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I even bought a number of things for Jinyoung, knowing it would be Christmas before I could gift them to him.

After lunch we headed to the Dragon Challenge, two side-by-side roller coasters. The first one we rode was the Chinese Fireball. It was fast and flipped us upside down over and over again with our feet coming precariously close to those of the people riding the companion Dragon Challenge rollercoaster, the Hungarian Horntail.

As we exited the one rollercoaster, heading to the line for the second one, I heard three girls scream. "Oh my G**, It's JB!!!"

Without even having to look at Sharay, I could feel her tense at my side. I had prepared for this, so turned in their direction and approached them confidently.

"Hey, couldn't help hear what you yelled. Sorry to disappoint. I get mistaken for JB all the time. It really is a pain, as every time someone takes a photo of me and posts it, I get harassed by JYP Entertainment for weeks. Do you know how hard it is to prove that I wore clothes like these long before he ever did?" and at that, I dipped my glasses so they could see there were no moles over my left eye. Ah the magic of make up!

"Oh, wow. Sorry," they stumbled. "You really look like him, but clearly you're American."

"Yeah, the accent would probably be a dead giveaway wouldn't it?" I offered. "Besides, bet he wouldn't ever just head out to an amusement park, especially with a friend," and with that I put my arm around Sharay's shoulders for the first time that day and pulled her towards me.

The girls giggled and said to Sharay, "Well if you can't have the real thing, I guess a facsimile isn't too shabby."

Sharay, caught off guard by my having grabbed her, offered, "Yeah well, JB isn't my bias anyway, so it's not that big a deal."

Okay, hearing her say that to me was painful enough, but having her admit it to others was almost more than I could handle.

The girls waved and said goodbye and continued on their way.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Sharay punched me on the chest and hissed, "Are you out of your mind?"

"Just a little." Still miffed about the 'not my bias' comment, I jumped into the fray and asked, "What the heck is going on Sharay? You've been so distant all day. Did I do anything wrong?" I went on the offense and spun the situation back to our relationship and away from the encounter with the girls.

Sharay couldn't, wouldn't, meet my eyes. Instead she grabbed my sleeve and using a diversionary tactic said, "Let's go this way. We need to go in the other entrance of Olivander's."

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Riding the shuttle in silence and touring the park without a word was, in short, awkward. I had shut him down earlier when I saw what he was wearing. It was mid afternoon when my worst fears came to pass and a gaggle of girls started screaming "Oh my G**, It's JB!!!"

I could feel ever muscle in my body tense up and I turned to Jaebeom. While I was worried and more than a little concerned, he looked cool and collected, almost cocky about the whole thing.

Instead of ignoring the girls, he casually sauntered over and engaged them in conversation. I was a bundle of nerves not knowing if I should follow or remain where I was to minimize any potential damage. One look from Jaebeom though, as he beckoned me with his eyes, had me join him and the trio.

His banter with them seemed so natural and convincing that in short order they accepted his story about being an American doppelganger, and were soon on their way without so much as a photo being snapped.

It was their comment to me about being happy with the facsimile if I couldn't have the real thing that got to me. I couldn't have either. I didn't want a substitute either. It hurt. I wanted to be in charge of the situation and set the terms of our relationship myself rather than being a victim of the circumstances. Even though I knew it wouldn't hurt him, I told them he wasn't my bias. It made me feel in control in an out of control kind of way.

The tension I had been feeling escaped all at once the minute the girls departed, and I instinctively smacked him in the chest and offered a reprimand. How could he have been so foolish? So brave? So cavalier?

And that's when he started questioning me about my changed attitude towards him. That was something I was not prepared to address, so I decided to change the subject and fast. Grabbing him by the sleeve to avoid any direct contact to his body, I attempted to lead him in the direction of Olivander's, forgoing the other coaster ride. But Jaebeom was having nothing of it and he grabbed my arm and spun me to face him.

I kept my head down, but with his other hand, Jaebeom cradled my chin and forced me to look up. To look in his eyes.

I reached out and pushed his hand off my arm and slowly shook my head. "You didn't do anything wrong," I responded to his question, then continued, "It's just that I don't want to put you in a position where you could get in difficulties with the media. I'm afraid my being close to you would compromise you."

"What are you talking about? You saw I could handle it when people identified me. Don't you think I can do it?" he asked with a hurt voice.

I didn't want to hurt him anymore. I wanted to protect him. His reputation. GOT7. And I wanted to protect my own heart, so I lashed out and said what I hoped would get him to back off a bit to a safer distance. Safe for both of us. "Like you 'handled' that lady at the party on Friday?" snapped.

"What?" He sounded confused. Like he didn't know what I was talking about.

"The beautiful lady in the photo who was grabbing on to you? The one that caused a scandal. Like you handled that situation?" I continued.

"Was that what you were reading about on your phone in the car? You know that was bogus. You know that, don't you?" Jaebeom asked, sounding hurt that I would think otherwise.

"Yes. I know it was bogus, but you and I being friends is real. So would you lie and say we weren't or would you ruin your reputation and create a scandal by admitting we knew each other? That you were staying at my house? That's what you need to think about Jaebeom. That's why you need to stop being so, well," I paused searching for the correct word but couldn't find it so settled on, "comfortable around me. You need to back off and be more cautious."

I'd said it. It hurt to say, but I needed to. I couldn't keep pushing him away. I needed him to be the one to stop.

"No." Jaebeom responded bluntly. "I won't back off. I'm tired of being cautious. You're my friend and I'm not going to shy away from that. I don't care what others think. I'll deal with that if the situation arises."

With his last words he reached for my hand, but before he could hold it, I pulled back. "No! 싫어!"

"Why?" he shook his head looking confused. "Do you even know what that expression really means in Korean?"

"Yes. I do." I reverted to 'teacher mode' and said, "Basically it means I don't want to, but it also means I hate it."

"So, holding my hand is something you hate?" Jaebeom asked looking hurt and confused.

"Yes," I lied and continued with a half-truth. "The potential for scandal isn't the only reason I pulled back. I have other reasons."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As Sharay pulled my sleeve to distract me from what I had been saying, I turned the tables and grabbed her arm. Spinning her around, I forced to her look me in the eye. But, she deflected me and pushed my arm away.

Though she was saying that none of it was my fault, she also said that she was doing it for my benefit. I tried to reassure her I could handle it, but she wasn't buying it. She was saying she didn't want me hurt by a scandal and then she snapped at me saying, "Like you 'handled' that lady at the party on Friday?"

I knew my faced registered the pain I was feeling at her rebuff. I tried to dissuade her from her thinking. That situation with that lady hadn't been real. She even said she knew that, but when she turned the tables and noted that our friendship was real. That, I wasn't about to deny. Not to her and not to anyone, regardless of the consequences.

But when I said as much to her, Sharay stopped me with a verbal blow that rocked me. As I reached to hold her hand, she barked, "No! 싫어!" I knew there would be little chance of dissuading her, especially when she acknowledged that she hated it when I tried to hold her hand.

I felt like I had received continuous blows to the solar plexus. I wasn't her bias. She didn't want to be near me physically. Foolishly I pushed it further. I needed to know if I had a glimmer of a chance at being more than merely her friend, so I clarified, "So, holding my hand is something you hate?" I could hear the hurt and the pain in my own words. There was no disguising it.

She dug the knife in even further by responding, "Yes. The potential for scandal is not the only reason I pulled back."

I couldn't leave it there. Even though I was afraid of the response, I had to understand what I was up against, so I pressed her. "What other reason?"

"I only want to hold hands and be physically close with someone I love and who loves me. And that person isn't you." Sharay offered this in a voice that sounded tired and strained.

"What?" I asked having trouble grasping the meaning and extent of her words. "But, you mean..." My voice trailed off.

"I made a mistake, "she offered. "I shouldn't have hugged you like I have. It was inappropriate and even though it may not mean much to you, it means something to me and I want to draw the line way back. I only want to hug the guy I love, and then only if he loves me too. It cheapens it when done in any other situation, even if with a good friend."

I felt like I had been sucker punched and my temper flared in a protective response. "Well does that mean you're going to stop hugging Nate too?" I challenged, but before she could respond, I continued. "Does that mean the hugs we shared meant nothing to you? Well, you should know I don't just go around hugging everyone. I'm selective too, you know. I don't think they were cheap."

"I think your interpretation of selective and mine are different," she observed, though her opinion was without merit. I was extremely selective when it came to whom I afforded skinship.

How could I tell her now how I felt about her when it was clear that I had been friend-zoned, not just once but several times over the course of the last few minutes? How could I tell her that every hug meant a piece of my heart belonged to her until she owned it all? I didn't know how to proceed from here. How was I supposed to be around her and have zero contact? Even now my body, my mind, and my heart were craving her like a man in the desert thirsted for water only to find the oasis he thought would bring relief was nothing more than a mirage.

I swallowed hard and asked the question, the answer to which I dreaded, "So where does that leave us? Are we still friends or is that...." My voice trailed off and she didn't respond. Taking a deep breath, I continued needing to know what I was up against, "So is there someone...I mean..." and again I couldn't finish the words as they stuck in my throat.

In a quiet whisper, she finally gave the reply that shattered my heart into a million pieces, "Yes. There is. But he doesn't feel that way about me, so it's irrelevant."

I now knew how Nate felt when he had been friend-zoned and partially understood his decision to get the tattoos and make believe he was the one who delineated the terms of their relationship. But, unlike Nate, I was unwilling to give up that easily.

Unless or until she had someone she cared for and who loved her in return, I would stay by her side as a friend. I would make our friendship so strong and so important that no one would ever be able to replace me, not easily at any rate. And who knew, maybe she would eventually come to find it in her heart to love me.

With that in mind, I turned to Sharay, arms crossed to avoid the instinctive desire to reach out and hold her and said, "If those are the terms of our friendship, I can live with that." Before the final words left my mouth I started walking towards Olivander's, thankful that I had on sunglasses so she couldn't see the tears brimming in my eyes. Under my breath I added, "For now at least."

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom pressed me for details and in the end I told him the truth. I said I didn't want to hug or hold hands with anyone who I didn't love and who didn't love me. I was taken aback when he asked if there was anyone who I felt that way about. I admitted that there was someone I felt that way about, but just neglected to mention that it was him. It was one thing to know he didn't feel the same way. I just couldn't handle it if he verbally confirmed it.

It didn't take long for Jaebeom to reply that he "accepted the terms of our friendship" and turned towards Olivander's like the whole thing was no big deal. His response had been so formal and definitive, almost like my terms had been nothing to him and easy to abide by. His arms were crossed and he took on the persona of JB, the cold and aloof leader of GOT7.

As Jaebeom walked away, I could only look at his strong back and wish I could reach out and touch him. I reflected that last night would probably be the last time I would ever feel his arms around me, and with a shuddering breath I choked back my tears, shook my head, and followed him into the wand shop hoping it would provide at least some kind of a distraction from my pain, though I knew it would prove futile in the long run.

 


	17. Departure

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

We left the park early evening, and as we were heading out of the gates I saw an elderly couple taking selfies. It was clear they were on some sort of anniversary trip, so I walked over to them and handed them the tickets I had received from Gavin's parents the day before. Since we had left Daniel alone for the day, I didn't have the heart to leave him at night again to attend a show. Even if he felt well enough to go with Mom in our stead, I wasn't prepared to be alone at the hotel with Jaebeom, because I was not confident I wouldn't back out of my prior commitment to keeping a distance from him.

Upon return to the hotel, we found that not only had Daniel rallied, but Dad had called to say all power had been restored at home. Instead of heading straight for home, Mom decided we would stay the night and leave in the morning.

At dinner Jaebeom got a call, so he excused himself and took the call in the foyer of the restaurant. When he returned, he looked distracted but didn't comment on the call. Instead, he sat down and continued his meal.

After dinner, he asked to speak with my mom alone. It was at that point that I started sensing trouble and assumed that he would be returning to Korea way earlier than expected. Daniel and I decided to give them their space, so we headed over to the hotel lobby and gift shop.

"Sit down kids. There's been a change in plans," my mom said upon our return. I knew what was coming. I could see it on Jaebeom's face, as he couldn't meet my eyes.

"Jaebeom got a call earlier from Mr. Park. Apparently, last Friday there was an incident that has caused some problems and he needs to return to Korea to address it. Instead of returning here afterwards, he's going to continue his training via Skype for the next few months. Sharay, I'll need you to work with me on scheduling the times for that and coordinating the training that would be most effective," Mom said, looking to me as she explained the last part.

Even though I had predicted it, I felt numb. It was one thing to push Jaebeom back so I wouldn't become even more attached to him. It was quite another to know that he would be leaving and not staying for the three weeks that had been planned. In a perverse way, it was a bit of a relief, since this afternoon had been a bit tense and awkward. However, it also meant we wouldn't have the time to work out how our friendship would go from here with the new boundaries I had demanded.

Looking over at Jaebeom, I wondered if he even cared. He had, after all, agreed to my terms without so much as a single comment.

"Wait," Daniel chimed in. "Exactly when is he heading back?" he asked of Mom.

"Thursday morning. His original return flight from Miami has been changed to the one leaving out of Ft. Myers, going through Dallas, just like the last time. Sharay, you can drive him to the airport again," was her reply.

I merely nodded and didn't say a word. What was I supposed to say? What could I say? I knew what the situation was and how problematic it would be if he didn't return given that it apparently hadn't died down with the efforts they already made.

"I really want to make sure that I continue with my training, "Jaebeom was saying. "I know it'll take longer since I won't have six or more hours a day and immersion the rest of the time. If I set aside 2-3 hours four days a week and an hour on the other three days, schedule permitting, do you think I'll really be totally fluent by early December?"

"Yes. You have great work ethic Jaebeom, and I'm sure that Sharay will make sure that your vocabulary, reading, writing, and conversational skills are up to par by then. I've almost completed the cognitive part of your training. If we put in four hours tomorrow, we'll be almost there," my mom assured him.

Jaebeom turned to me and asked, "Are you okay doing that much online training time with me between now and our US comeback in December?"

His question had layers to it that my mom and brother didn't understand, but I did. He was asking if I would be willing to have that much contact with him or if I wanted to pull back from that as well. I felt my chest tighten.

"If that's what you want, then I'm able to do it," I heard myself reply. I wanted to know that he wanted to continue our friendship and not feel obligated.

"Absolutely!" he responded, smiling at me with that sideways grin of his. "Who else would I trust but my best friend to help me with this important task," and with that he assured me that the wall I had built was one he could live with.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Walking around the rest of the day at the park was a challenge. I didn't know where to put my hands. More than ever I found myself wanting to reach out and touch Sharay, from something simple like tapping her to call her attention to something to brushing away a loose strand of hair that had fallen in her eyes. I was glad she had given the Cirque du Solae tickets away. Had I found myself alone with her in a quiet darkened setting, I think my resolve to comply with her 'hands-off' policy would have dissipated.

During dinner, I received the call I had feared would come from JYP. The whole incident with that lady at the awards party was not dying down and the longer we went without me making a formal appearance and comment on the matter, the worse the rumors swirled. I was going to have to return to Korea, leaving on Thursday. There was a press conference set for Friday evening. Now all I had to do was confer with TJ about doing my training remotely and find out if Sharay was still willing to be my primary vocabulary, literary, and communications coach. I was concerned she would pull back on that too.

After speaking with TJ, Sharay and Daniel returned from the hotel lobby. The look on Sharay's face let me know that she had already surmised what was going down. All she needed were the details of when I was leaving and that I wouldn't be back, at least not until the comeback fan meetings in December.

As TJ laid out the plan for the remote training schedule, I kept an eye on Sharay to see what her response was. Though she was usually very easy to read, I couldn't tell if she would be willing to work with me that frequently or not, if at all even, so I had to specifically ask.

While her response was not exactly enthusiastic, I decided to take it in a positive light. I was still going to pursue my friendship with her, even if I had to drag her to the relationship kicking and screaming. I was not going to settle for being friend-zoned either.

The following day we returned to Ft. Myers. After the drive, I set about packing and got in four hours of auditory training with TJ at the office. Sharay had opted to stay at the house. While I was disappointed by that, I understood her reasoning since the training was purely involving TJ.

That night, when everyone had gone to bed, I knocked on Sharay's door.

"Come in," she called, probably out of habit more than because she meant to invite me in.

"Hey," I said awkwardly. "Would it be more comfortable for you if I took a taxi to the airport?"

"No. Not at all. It's the least I can do. You have a really tough job ahead of you with the travel and the press conference. Sorry. I haven't made it any easier." Her voice trailed off.

"What do you mean? You've been great. I couldn't have learned as much, as quickly as I have, without you. But, you're right. I'm not looking forward to the press conference. At least I'll have plenty of time on the flight to formulate my thoughts and figure out the best way to diffuse things without having to admit I was in Atlanta instead of at her apartment."

I looked up at Sharay to see something flash across her face and just as quickly disappear. I wasn't sure what it was, but since she didn't offer, I didn't pressure her. Instead, I said, "Sleep well. I'll be up early, so I'll see you at breakfast."

I delayed my departure a second longer to see if she would offer anything further, but when there wasn't anything forthcoming, I reluctantly returned to my room. I hadn't been expecting anything, but I had been hopeful. I still wondered what I had done to cause her to pull back the way she had. I guess I wouldn't be getting that answer any time soon.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I contemplated telling Jaebeom how I felt about him when he came to my room. I mean, he would be gone in the morning and, even though it would make the training challenging and a bit awkward, it couldn't be any more awkward than it was now. But as I saw him standing in my doorway, I knew I couldn't risk losing him as my friend, so I clammed up.

As he turned and left my room, I felt such a sense of loss. And tomorrow he would be leaving my life for all intense and purposes and when he came back it wouldn't be as Jaebeom, it would be as JB.

The following morning, I woke up in time to make Jaebeom some fried chicken and rice for breakfast. Things almost seemed normal. Almost. As we packed up Jaebeom's luggage in the car, Mom, Dad, and Daniel came out to see him off. As they all gave him a hug goodbye, I realized I wouldn't be getting one ever again and was jealous of them all at that moment.

With the airport just about five minutes from the house, we reached our destination all too soon. Instead of checking in at the airlines outside luggage location, Jaebeom convinced me that it would be best to pull into the parking garage and he would walk to the interior ticket counter for check in. Unlike the last time, when he merely had a carry-on, this time he had a large suite case and thought it was best to deal with the inside personnel rather than risking the outside check in getting the tagging of his luggage to Seoul mixed up.

Pulling into the parking garage, I got out and helped open the trunk. Jaebeom pulled his suitcase from the back and placed it next to the car, before turning to me.

"I'll message you when I get to Dallas and again when I arrive in Seoul," he said.

"You don't have to do that," I offered.

"Yes. I do. I want to."

I was standing there not knowing how to say goodbye, so turned towards the driver's door and made to open it. Then I felt the strength of Jaebeom holding me from behind.

"I'm sorry. I'm breaking your rule," he murmured into my ear as his warmth flowed through me like a life supplying dose of energy. "I just can't leave things like this."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I knew I wouldn't get a voluntary hug from Sharay like I did from her parents and brother and that thought was almost more than I could handle. The drive from the house to the airport was altogether too short. Since the outside baggage check in locations were notorious about messing up luggage tags, I had Sharay pull into the garage from where I would unload my suitcases and enter the airport.

Sharay got out of the car to help me open the trunk of the car so I could pull out my bags. I placed the large one on the ground and propped my carry-on on top of it. I tried to delay her departure by stating I would message her from Dallas and again upon arrival in Seoul, but she merely responded that I didn't have to do that. I noted that I actually did, because I wanted to. As I said this, Sharay turned to get back in the car.

My mind was screaming "NO!" this is not how it is supposed to be. I couldn't, wouldn't, leave without holding her one last time, so as if on autopilot I followed her with long strides and came up behind her as she reached the door.

Wrapping my arms around her, I nestled my nose into the sweet smell of vanilla and apples coming from her hair. My voice was soft and filled with emotion as I said, "I'm sorry. I'm breaking your rule. I just can't leave things like this."

Sharay froze in my arms. I wasn't sure what to expect from her, but as she placed her hands on my arms, I was afraid she would push me away, so I continued, "Please. 제발. Don't push me away. I need this. You're my best friend. There must be an exception to the rule for best friends, at least when they're leaving the country for close to five months, right?"

Thankfully, her hands arrested their attempt to push me away, and instead they rested on my arms. I leaned into her, tightening my arms around her, molding her to my body and mine to hers.

"I don't know what I did, or didn't do, to make you push me away. Whatever it was; I'm sorry. Please forgive me," I all but pleaded.

There was still no response from Sharay, so I pressed on. "I know you want to reserve hugs to someone who loves you and whom you love. I get that, but my feelings for you are real and my hugs are not casual or frivolous. I don't know what you think of me, but know that I am not one who usually likes, much less craves skinship. My reputation as the cold and intimidating member of the group is well earned. But with you, this feels so natural. So right. The last time we were here, you gave be a back hug and told me I was your best friend. I hope that's how you still feel, because that hasn't changed for me. You are my best friend. You always will be. And I am going to miss you more than you will ever know."

With that, I abruptly released her from the back hug, spun her around and held her to me as if my life itself depended upon it.

Several moments passed with us embracing. I realized at some point Sharay's arms had come up and where hugging me with the same intensity. I still didn't know why she had placed a wall up, but I felt in crumble at that moment and it gave me hope. I finally pulled back a bit so I could look at Sharay's face.

Releasing a ragged breath, not realizing I had been almost holding it the entire time, I looked in her eyes for any sign that she cared for me the way I cared for her. What I saw I couldn't understand. I could see confusion, maybe a little fear, play across her face, and a single tear spill over and down her cheek. I so wanted to kiss that tear away and hold her until the fear was pushed away, but I knew that would only make matters worse. Instead, I bent down and kissed her forehead and without a sound mouthed 사랑해요 so she neither saw not heard it, and then gently released her.

I turned, grabbed my bags, and took one last look at Sharay over my shoulder. I gave her a smile that was probably a little wistful, and said, "I'll be in touch. And come December...." My voice trailed off, hoping she could sense all that I felt. Afraid to hear what she might say, and knowing if I stayed a moment longer I would never leave, I briskly headed for the terminal without glancing back again.

 


	18. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom makes a promise. There's also mention of Netflix and Chill, Ramen, and an interview with Heechul!

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I felt the strength of Jaebeom holding me from behind. "I'm sorry. I'm breaking your rule," he murmured into my ear as his warmth flowed through me like a life supplying dose of energy. "I just can't leave things like this."

I wasn't expecting him to do that, so I froze in place. As my mind kicked into gear I reached for his arms to unwrap them from around me when I heard him say, "Please. 제발. Don't push me away. I need this. You're my best friend. There must be an exception to the rule for best friends, at least when they're leaving the country for close to five months, right?"

He sounded so hurt and confused so, instead of pushing him off as I'd intended, I rested my hands on his forearms. As he continued talking, I could only listen. Why was he apologizing to me? I was speechless.

Jaebeom continued talking. I could feel his breath near my ear as he said, "I know you want to reserve hugs for someone who loves you and whom you love. I get that, but my feelings for you are real and my hugs are not casual or frivolous. I don't know what you think of me, but know that I am not one who usually likes, much less craves skinship. My reputation as the cold and intimidating member of the group is well earned. But with you, this feels so natural. So right. The last time we were here, you gave be a back hug and told me I was your best friend. I hope that's how you still feel, because that hasn't changed for me. You are my best friend. You always will be. And I am going to miss you more than you will ever know."

All my resolve to keep him at bay melted. I couldn't deny him anything, even if it meant I would be hurt in the long run. His words sounded more intimate and personal than I knew they were intended to be and I couldn't stop myself from wanting to believe they had a deeper meaning that just those of a friend.

Still unable to speak, I felt Jaebeom release me. As his arms unwrapped from around me, I felt as though my body had lost its integrity and I was going to fall apart, only to have him turn me around and embrace me again. This time, instead of merely laying my hands on his arms, my arms instinctively wrapped around him and held him in a tight embrace.

I'm not sure how long we stood that way. In one way it seemed as though time stood still, yet it ended all too soon. I felt him pull back a bit, and as he did it seemed as though the oxygen was ripped from my lungs. I bit my lip to control them from giving away the tremor that I felt was the precursor to a serious crying jag. My eyes prickled with tears and I was so afraid I would start sobbing. I was precariously close to telling him how I felt about him and was a little angry that I was so easily swayed from the safe course I had set. At the last moment a stray tear escaped and trickled down my cheek.

Jaebeom leaned over and gave be a chaste kiss on the forehead. I could feel his lips and his breath as he mouthed some words that I couldn't hear, then he quickly retreated to get his suitcase and carry-on. Walking towards the terminal, he looked towards me one last time and said, "I'll be in touch. And come December...."

His voice trailed off and he offered me one of his lopsided smiles, but this one looked a little sad. Then, he quickly turned and headed towards the main building without a backwards glance.

I felt so off balance that I crouched down and took several minutes to catch my breath and reorient myself. I'd allowed myself to be caught off guard by him and my emotions were all over the place. I didn't want to read too much into what he said, after all, he said we were friends and nothing more. He probably was just trying to figure out why I had stopped any type of skinship and was messing with me a bit. Still, I had a little hope that I intended to keep hold of. He'd let me know that in some way I was special to him, even if only as a friend.

I finally stood up and got in the car and headed home.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The flight to Dallas was uneventful and, this time, there was no little girl or anyone else who recognized me in the airport. Still, I stayed in the national terminal as long as possible before heading over to the international terminal where there would be an increased chance of being recognized.

Fortunately, First Class had a lounge and I waited there without interruption from the others awaiting the flight. Upon boarding, I immediately went to my seat and took out my phone. Using the crazy cat lady account Sharay had set up for me on Facebook, I dropped her a quick note.

// _No little girl fans this time. Waiting on the plane to take off. I'm sure I left something in Florida! Please take care of it until December. You will be at the fan meet in Miami, right? No excuses. Will message you when I get to Seoul. I'll have to get to the dorms and ready myself for the press conference. Hope you can watch it. If not, I'll see if I can post a link to the video here. Thanks for the stolen hug. Please don't be mad at me_.//

After sending the message, I shut off my phone until the plane took off and we were authorized to use electronics again. At that point, I began drafting the comments I would make at the press conference the late afternoon of my return. Once I had a final draft and had adequately memorized it, I put away my phone and decided to sleep. It was a little bit of a challenge as I wasn't really tired and I was still wound up about that hug from Sharay.

Yes she had told me no more hugs, but she really had returned my embrace. I was hopeful. I had decided that I would spend the next four plus months really getting to know her. I wanted to know her dreams, her fears, everything, and I was planning on sharing the same with her. If there was any hope for a future with her, she had to know who I was both as Jaebeom and, as what I would consider my alter ego, JB. And I had to know even more about her than I did already. Further, I needed to work on my English and really master it. At the same time, I was determined that she would become fluent in Korean, as I wanted her to ultimately be able to meet my parents and friends, and someday, share my life, which would include time in Korea. I know I was being optimistic and jumping the gun, but there was no sense in dreading the worst. I needed to plan for the best and this was what I came up with.

Imagining that last embrace, I dozed off enough that I was rested when I arrived in Seoul. I had a driver waiting for me this time and we quickly made our way to the dorms. En route in the car, I sent a quick message to Sharay that I had arrived. I had hoped for a response from my earlier message, but there was none.

Pulling into the dorms, the other guys welcomed me home and Jackson apologized for not being able to handle the situation without me having to return.

"Hyung," Jackson said apologetically. "I'm sorry. I really tried to diffuse the situation, but the media and the anti-fans went nuts and wouldn't leave it alone. I think everyone is still riled up about the whole Sungmin from Super Junior thing and want control over everything idols do in their private life."

"Jackson," I assured him. "You did everything possible. If it had been anyone but you, I wouldn't have been able to even have the few days I did to at least wrap up what I could and arrange for a remote way of finishing up my project. You really are a master of communication."

I think I made him blush. Funny thing is, I was using some of the things I'd seen TJ do when encouraging Daniel. It was amazing how well it worked to ease his self created guilt and calm him down so I could focus on my responsibilities rather than having to spend an inordinate amount of time helping him work through his insecurities.

I threw my luggage in my room and headed in for a much needed shower. I always felt grungy after a long flight like that and needed to relax a bit before heading to JYP Entertainment for makeup and a quick run through of what I was planning on saying before the press arrived. As I got out of the shower, I sauntered to my room, wrapped in a towel while using a smaller towel to dry off my hair.

Sitting on the side of my bed, I opened my suitcase, intent on putting things away like the control freak I was. As I opened it, I saw that there was something bulky in the middle. Pulling back the top layer I spotted a container filled with none other than Sharay's blue chocolate chip cookies.

I sat there grinning like a fool. She must have made them while I was training with her mom the afternoon before my departure. Well, she did have four hours to bake them and clean up so I wouldn't know she had done it.

"What are you smiling about? Looks a little creepy since your only wearing a towel," offered Mark, who was standing at my door. I had left it ajar when I returned from the shower, so he hadn't even needed to knock.

"Nothing," I replied, though he knew full well that was a bald faced lie.

"Well," he observed. "Nothing seems to be a really great thing these days." And with that, he smirked at me and said as he was leaving, "We're all going to be there with you today. You may be the leader, but we have your back too, ya know?"

After Mark left, I dressed in something casual, emptied out my suitcase, and stowed my cookies away from the prying eyes and mouths of the others. I lay down on my bed and took about 30 minutes going over the speech I had crafted on the plane while receiving nudges and cuddles from my purring companions.

Finally, it was time to head to the company for the preparations before the evening's press conference. The guys and I climbed into the two vans and headed out. I only hoped my plan would work as well as I wanted it to, both for the current situation as well as future goals.

I had typed up what I was going to say and had done the English translation myself. I was going to give this to JYP and ask subtitles in English run as I was speaking. Included in my speech was that I prepared the statement myself and that an English translation would be offered during the broadcast so more fans would understand. I didn't want to chance any translator messing up what I was saying. After going back through some older videos from concerts, fan meets, and interviews, I discovered the translation skills of many were sorely lacking. This was too important, and the nuances were significant that I didn't want to take any chances.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I received two messages from Jaebeom. The first was as he was waiting for takeoff in Dallas, and the second as he was being driven to the dorms. I wasn't sure how to respond to either, so I just didn't. I figured I'd wait until after the press conference. I was going to be shown on VApp Live so I could catch it on my mom's phone. Yep, she really was the bigger GOT7 fan as she had subscribed to GOT7 Channel+!

While I awaited the broadcast, I wondered if Jaebeom had found the cookies I'd made. I wasn't sure when I made them if it was a good idea or not, but I wanted him to know that I would keep my promises of making him cookies and keeping in touch. I could only hope he would follow through with the promises he had made before too.

I reread the message from Dallas several times while I awaited the broadcast of the press conference, and checked his room and all around the house several times trying to figure out what it was that he had left behind. I guess I would just have to ask him later since I couldn't find a thing.

Finally, the broadcast was about to begin. I was surprised that there was an introductory notice that the speech was "Prepared by JB and English subtitles would be available during the broadcast." I knew immediately that he had done his own translation, given the lack of time to arrange for an interpreter. Also, I was confident that his translation skills would be better than most at this stage of the game.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

_"Good evening. I'm Im Jae Bum, leader of GOT7. Tonight I would like to address the rumors swirling around as a result of a photograph that was uploaded last Friday._

__

_First, I would like to thank my fans for supporting me and GOT7._

_Now straight to the matter at hand._

_While I was at the post awards party a week ago, I wanted to find out if my family had had a chance to watch the show. Given the volume in the room, I sought out a quiet location to do this. Unfortunately, I was unable to get hold of them. As I returned to the rest of my group, I was suddenly approached from behind. At that moment photographs were taken. Prior to that instant, I had never seen or spoken with the lady in question. Additionally, I have not spoken with or seen her since the time of that photograph._

_All rumors regarding a relationship before, during, or after that time are patently false and will be addressed in due course by the JYPE legal team._

_In light of this situation, I have been thinking about the terms used by the media and others when addressing idols who are dating or are rumored to be dating. When the average person dates, it isn't considered a scandal, yet when an idol is involved, it is. Why'is there a disparity in how this is viewed? I don't profess to speak on behalf of others, however, I wonder if it is not a common thought by many in my field. Why when we date, is it considered a scandal?_

_As idols, our schedules are hectic. We work 14-16 hours per day, and that's when we aren't traveling or on tour, doing shows, promotions and the like. We have little down time on a good day. A vast majority of the time, sleep and food are a higher priority over pursuing a romantic relationship._

_I personally have not dated once since starting as a trainee with JYPE. My schedule just hasn't allowed it. Having said that, I hope to date sometime, and when I do it will not be a scandal. I am notorious for being known as the cold and distant one of my group, we have a hectic schedule, and I will never forsake my fans, so if, I mean when, the girl I love, loves me back with all that baggage, it will be a miracle and not a scandal._

_I have noted that there are three options, and only three, for idols. We can refrain from dating; which is the most common. Alternatively, we can date in secret or let the public know we are dating. These latter two are wrought with challenges._

_Dating in secret implies there's something wrong or shameful about the relationship. It can tarnish the beauty of being with someone, and can put a strain on the growth from the start, as a normal healthy relationship cannot grow and develop in the dark. Further, if the relationship matures to the point of marriage, fans, the media, and anti-fans seem to complain that they were kept out of the loop. However, if dating is done openly, as in the third scenario, then the rumors about pregnancy, breakups, and impending marriage can also pay a toll on the proper development of the relationship. Furthermore, privacy is hard to be found._

_I would like to go on record right now. I'll let my fans know when I am finally dating the girl I love. Please be understanding and supportive of both of us when that time comes. Give us space and privacy. Do not judge or begrudge the relationship. Don't spread rumors, as I will be up front so there will be no need to make up anything. Know that as the leader and member of GOT7, my fans are very precious to me and I will always love you and will never take you for granted. Without you, I wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be here. A personal relationship is not a replacement for that. It is in addition to it._

_For now though, I'm sadly still very single and we are getting ready for our comeback. We have recordings to do shortly after Jinyoung has wrapped up his drama and Jackson finishes a few scheduled projects in China. Look forward to tours in Korea, Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand, and the US before the end of the year._

_Thank You."_

As I stood up and bowed deeply, I prayed a silent prayer that I had set the stage for some day letting the fans know about Sharay, assuming of course that she could ever love me back with my personality, our schedule, and demanding fans.

A few reporters attempted to ask some questions, but I was planning to leave without addressing them. One very loud reporter, however, asked a question that set off a firestorm of similar questions, which I felt obligated to address.

"So JB, since you said, and I quote, 'When the girl I love, loves me back', does that mean that you are discriminating against all male fans out there?"

I turned and smiled, "Not just all males," I said, "but all females except the single one."

I said it with the lightest tone I could muster and, fortunately, it was received well generating a healthy response of laughter. I thanked them again and left the dais.

Taking a deep breath, I asked a staff member for a pen and paper and quickly jotted down the appropriate translation for the last question and my response and palmed it to JYP. He smiled at me, nodded, and walked over to the production crew so they could upload the additional information for the English speaking audience.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom had done some serious work on his speech. I could tell from his use of vocabulary that he was the one who penned the translation. Many of the words came from our vocab sessions where he had been adding 50 or more words per day. I was duly impressed.

The only part that was a little off was his use of the term 'the girl I love'. It should have been 'the girl I fall in love with'. The way he said it implied it had already happened, yet he had been clear that he was single and hadn't dated. I figured I would address the difference between the tenses later, as I knew enough Korean to know it could be translated either way and was dependent upon context.

I figured I would shoot him through a quick comment in messenger to let him know I saw his press conference. I didn't get into the grammar lesson. Not just yet at least. That would be best done via Skype anyway.

It seemed strange seeing Jaebeom on camera with makeup on and all decked out as JB. The only time I'd really seen him close to that was when we went to the dance and, well, he did look fabulous then too. I spent a few minutes replaying that evening and thinking how nice it had been to dance with him.

I shook myself from my thoughts. I'd awoken for the press conference, but it was now 7am and I figured I would get a jump start on writing up his lesson plan for the upcoming week.

I needed to ask Jaebeom more about situations and settings where he would need English, so I could tailor his lessons around that. I mean, if you're going to learn a language it should be useful for communication, right? Until now I was adding in what I thought would be useful, but in anticipation of having about three more weeks to work with him. At least what we had worked on seemed to have been perfect for what he had to do for this press conference at any rate.

I checked to see if Jaebeom had responded to my message yet, but when I saw he hadn't, I figured he'd had to wrap things up with JYP and the boys and maybe go get dinner. I reflected how quiet it was around the house as I headed into the kitchen to make breakfast.

Forty minutes later, I woke up Daniel. "Want some friend chicken and rice for breakfast? I spaced out and went on autopilot and made what I usually did for Jaebeom and have way too much food."

"You miss him, huh?" Daniel asked rhetorically and came out to join me in the kitchen.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I knew that Sharay would probably give me a lesson on verb tenses after that speech. She would know I wrote the translation and would probably call attention to the fact that I said 'the girl I love' rather than 'the girl I will love'. I smiled to myself knowing that I had made no mistake. None at all. I also wondered if anyone else would catch it. Chances are they would blame it on the translator, not knowing I was the translator!

I spent a few minutes with JYP who complimented me on attacking the whole "dating scandal" topic and for being forthright about my intentions. He did ask that I let him know before I announced anything publicly, though he promised not to stop me. He just wanted a heads up. Knowing it would be a while, possibly a very long while, before that came to pass, I agreed to give him advance warning.

That night, I headed out for a meal with the guys and some Karaoke. Though I was jet lagged from going back and forth to the States twice in a week, I had some pent up energy and really didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts just yet.

Weekends were still for work and I needed to get with Sharay about setting up a schedule. Through messenger we decided that we would talk via Skype and hammer that out after she got home from church on Saturday. That worked well as I got up early to catch the service. I even remembered to record myself singing along with the worship. I'd felt bad about bailing on Rick a few weeks early, but he was very understanding when I spoke with him shortly after I got word I would be heading back home. He'd kindly offered to send me the music and lyrics for each week in advance anyway so I could work on the songs and keep abreast of things. He said this was on the off chance I would make my way back there sometime. He had no idea how I hope that would be sooner rather than later.

Over the next four months, Sharay and I spent a good 16 hours a week working on my English. Well, it wasn't only on my English, as I had also started teaching her Korean. With that gifted memory of hers, she caught on very fast and within several months was pretty fluent. Being the stickler I was, I made sure she understood and used the proper formal way of speaking Korean, noting that since everyone she would meet who spoke Korean would be a stranger, that was the most appropriate form to use for the most part.

While I tried to convince her that she should address me as Jaebeom Oppa when talking to me in Korean, she just shook her head and said that was way too weird and deferred to calling me Jaebeom-ssi. I once suggested she call me Jaebeom-ah, but she only looked at me with a horrified expression and said she couldn't do that. Why did so many fans call me Jaebeom Oppa and Jaebeom-ah, but the one girl I wanted to call me those things wouldn't? I tried to take it in stride, but it really got to me when she referred to the other members as Oppa. It just reinforced the fact that they were on her bias list and I wasn't.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom's training was going very well. His English was better than most of the native speakers I knew. His grammar was impeccable and he had a thirst for vocabulary. He loved playing with words and using words from William F.Buckley Jr.s "The Lexicon." He was developing a rich vocabulary that, to me was, like sex in paperback. I mean, seriously? It was bad enough that I found this man irresistible in the first place, but now he was playing to my weakness.

Thankfully, Jaebeom was feeding my addiction to language by teaching me Korean, and not just "may I have a cup of coffee" or "I'm lost", but true colloquial expressions as well as words that would allow for deep discussions and insight. I just couldn't get enough, so I studied hard both to increase my English vocabulary, for fear he would surpass me, as well as to reach a level in Korean that I could at least be somewhat on a par with him intellectually.

A couple of months after his return to Korea, during one of our training sessions, Jaebeom came to the session flustered. He and Jinyoung were set to have a special stage as a mini JJ Project comeback prior to their world tour and would be attending a variety show notorious for asking deep probing and personal question by the ever savage and irreverent Kim Heechul of Super Junior, who was one of the main hosts. Jaebeom was very nervous and wanted to run through some of the questions asked of previous guests, so he could try formulating answers and avoid stumbling or saying something embarrassing. He knew that Heechul would focus on anything misspoken or said in a way that could have a double meaning.

In order to make the activity more fun, he suggested that we both answer the questions how we thought the other would respond first, then give our own answer. He would answer in English for practice and I would have to respond in Korean. He proposed this, adding, "What we don't know, or express incorrectly, we'll focus on that for a bit as part of our training? Are you game?"

I said that I was willing to give it a shot, though at the time I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I should've known something was up when he whipped out a sheet of paper and said, "All right. How about we start now? And we have to answer all the questions. We each get a single question we can pass on answering."

1.What do you like doing in your spare time?

2.What's the weirdest thing a fan has ever done for you?

3.Who is your celebrity crush?

4.Are you in love with anyone?

5.How would someone get your special attention?

6.What is your favorite movie?

7.What is your biggest/weirdest fear?

8.What has been your best/worst date?

9.What would be your one super power?

10.What would you change your name to?

11.Which pet do you love the most, Nora, Kunta, or Odd?

12.What's your one biggest pet peeve?

13.What's your one annoying habit?

14.What's your favorite holiday?

15.Which GOT7 member would you prefer to have dinner with and why?

17.What other languages do you speak?

18.What sports do you enjoy doing?

19.What would be a good theme song for your life?

20.What's your favorite food?

21.What is your favorite song?

22.What do you see yourself doing in your early thirties?

We both agreed that reading was the best thing to do in our free time and from there some of the questions were either straight forward or went a little crazy.

When Jaebeom asked question four, I was supposed to say how I thought he would respond, so I said, "Well, I've known you for a while and you've never mentioned someone you love, other than your parents and the members of GOT7 so I'd say you aren't currently in love."

"Well, you'd be wrong then," he responded without giving any indication that he was joking around, and I went very quiet. "And you. I think...'

But I interrupted him before he could continue. "Give me a fandom and I'll tell you who I love. Next question." And I moved on and away from the subject as quickly as I could.

Some of the other questions were just as tricky or embarrassing. I mean how would I know what his best or worse date was? And I hadn't ever had one so my response was lame. Jaebeom joked and said his was getting stuck in a broken down car in a remote location with someone who didn't like him. Haha very funny. That wasn't a date so it couldn't be the worst. Not really. Right?

When we got to question 15, I said I thought he would prefer to go to dinner with Mark because Mark liked to eat and was quiet so he'd be able to eat without interruption while the maknae line would be a bad choice as they would try to eat his food and Jackson would be talking the whole time and expecting a response.

"Not bad thinking" he offered. "I was thinking Jinyoung, because he doesn't steal food and even offers some of what he has. As for you, I think you'd want to have dinner with me, because you know me."

"Actually, I was thinking Bambam."

"Bambam?" he cried. "Why him?"

"Because I love Thai food and he'd know the best restaurant for Thai food and could pick out some dishes I've never tried and I'd be sure they would be great," I clarified. "Besides, I've eaten with you before. It would be nothing but ramen and chicken."

"I could go for some ramen," he said and started laughing in a devilish way.

"Are you being crude Im Jaebeom?" I asked. "Isn't that the same as Netflix and Chill?"

"Who's got the dirty mind now?" he replied, trying to remove the smirk from his face.

Moving on to some other questions we got to favorite food. I predicted he would say chicken and he did the same for me, only he told me I was wrong.

"I am NOT wrong!" I yelled indignantly at him. "I know chicken is your favorite food. You'd eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks if you could."

"Okay. I love chicken, and that is the response I would give if ever asked in an interview, but truth be told something else is more special to me," Jaebeom said.

"Really? Then what's better than chicken but such a secret that your couldn't say in an interview?" I pushed.

"Blue chocolate chip cookies!" he replied. "If I ever said that I would get tons of them sent to me and I only want yours because their special."

I was a little taken aback by that, but merely thanked him for the complement, not knowing how else to respond.

When we finally reached the last question, I said I thought he would be producing movies, but he merely smiled at that idea and offered that I would be training Kpop trainees at JYPE how to speak English without an accent.

Apparently, neither of us were correct in our response. I shared, "By my thirties I will be the mom of a number of kids. Maybe as many as four or six. Some may be adopted. They may all be adopted, depending upon whether I get married or not. But I want at least one little Asian baby with the cutest little squinty eyes."

Jaebeom looked at me in a way I couldn't read then said, "Well I guess we'll be doing something similar. I'll be finishing up my military duties at the beginning of my thirties. I don't want to wait until I'm done in the military before I get married. I want to get married before I go in but hold off on having kids until I'm out. I'd want to be there for the pregnancy and for the child growing up. I think that's something a couple should do together. Even though I'm an only child, I can see the advantages of children having siblings, so I'd want a few kids too. Actually, as many as my wife would like would be fine with me."

The silence was deafening. First there was that whole thing about him being in love and now this. I guess he was just waiting until the right moment to share the news that he was going to start dating. Guess I would hear when everyone else did. Though my heart was torn, I was happy to know that he had someone he cared about and hoped someday I would get over him enough to give my heart to someone else, though I doubted it.

Jaebeom looked at me and added, "At that point I would probably be asked if I was dating anyone and I'd have to answer that I wasn't because I hadn't yet asked the girl out. This would probably cause a great big stir and a lot of speculation. Just so you know, I will let you know before anyone else."

Before anyone else except the girl, I thought to myself. Instead I just meekly nodded and gave him a small smile, trying to be a good best friend who was supportive. Glancing at the clock, looking for an excuse to escape, I said, "Well let's call it a night shall we?"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

In an effort to find out a little more about Sharay, I devised a scheme to ask her questions and tell her some of my thoughts as well. It was true that I was set to be interviewed by Kim Heechul, who often asked some of the most probing questions, so I used preparing for that as a ruse to ask Sharay some questions.

There were a number of boring old regular questions in the mix, but what I wanted the know most was to know if she was in love with anyone, would she date me, and whether she saw me as someone in her future. Most of the questions were ones we already knew about each other.

Sharay was very adept at side stepping questions, which is just what she did with the question about being in love. Unfortunately, she also appeared to have zero clue that I was in love with her, as she said she thought I wasn't in love since I hadn't mentioned anyone. I tried to give her a clue, but she missed it completely. Now she thinks I'm in love with some mystery person. Ugh. Why couldn't she be like other girls who immediately assumed everything was about them? But, if she were, then I probably wouldn't feel the same way about her as I do.

When asked about the worst/best date, I made a pointed reference to our first meeting and the drive from Miami. She immediately assumed I was joking and that I was thinking of it as a bad date. Far from it. I was neither joking nor had it been bad. If fact, I could handle a 'date' just like that again and again.

I couldn't believe though that she would rather have dinner with Bambam than me! What's up with that? I know good Thai restaurants and food choices too! Though I was a little indignant about that, I was in agreement that maybe Mark would be a better response on my part. I did enjoy getting a rise out of her about the whole ramen and Netflix and Chill thing. She is so cute when she blushes. The only problem is that she probably sees me as some lecherous guy now.

When we reached the last question, I was hoping that with my prompt saying I saw her working with JYPE trainees, that she would respond saying that I would still be in her life then. Instead I get this whole "numerous children with or without a husband" bit. Seriously? At least I know she would love a child with eyes like mine. If I were fortunate enough, then that's exactly what she would get, and several if I had my way.

Though I tried to hint that I would want to get married in a few years, before entering the military, she seemed to miss the suggestion. Even mentioning children upon return didn't seem to get her to catch a clue. That would be in plenty of time for her to have her 4-6 kids before she was in her mid thirties, what with our age difference and all.

By the end of our conversation, I knew what she wanted and was concerned that I really stood no chances romantically with her. I mean, what about that last hug the airport? I thought we were getting closer, but then she seems to back off like this.

On the day of the interview I was a bit nervous.

"So, Jaebeom. GOT7 has a World Tour coming up. Can you tell us anything we can expect?" Heechul asked me.

"Actually, yes. Probably the biggest thing will be a surprise I have planned for everyone. I can't tell you which city it will be revealed in, as that could spoil the secret. Even the other members of GOT7 don't know the details," I offered, covertly referring to my new fluency in English.

"Really?" he said and, turning to Jinyoung, followed up by asking, "Do you have any idea what the surprise is?"

"No, not at all. All I know is that he has a secret, but he's been very tight lipped about it and this is the first time I've heard when he's going to share it with us. Unlike some of our other members, JB isn't inclined to give spoilers unless they are planned spoilers. It's rather frustrating as we all want to know."

Just as the interview was wrapping up and I thought I would get away without being asked any deep probing questions, Heechul turned to me and asked, "JB, you said a few months back that you thought idols dating shouldn't be considered a scandal but rather a miracle. I happen to agree with you. As we've been talking, I was wondering if your secret was a plan to announce you were dating. You did say you would date openly, and announce it."

This was made as a statement more than a question. Needless to say I was taken aback. Boy would I like to be able to announce to the world that I was dating Sharay. Little problem was that she didn't know I cared about her that way and I probably would turn be down because she saw me only as a friend.

"I can safely say that the secret I'll be sharing is not about that," I offered. To myself I thought that it would be great if it were.

Both Heechul and Jinyoung looked at me closely, like they were trying to decide if I was telling the truth. Fortunately, since it was the truth, my face showed no deception they could detect. Sharay, on the other hand, knew my micro expressions so well that when we talked later, she probed further.

"So when Heechul asked if your secret was that you are dating, you cleverly answered it wasn't. I mean, I know it's really about you speaking English, but Jaebeom there was definitely something else you were thinking about just before responding. I know you too well to miss that. What's up? Were you thinking about that girl you said you loved?"

Damn. She never forgot a thing. And how could she catch that and yet still be so clueless about how I feel about her? I mean seriously? Even her parents, brother, and Nate picked up on it.

"What girl?" I asked innocently.

"When we did the practice questions. I guessed you were not in love and you said I was wrong about that. Is that another secret?"

I was so frustrated that she was able to catch so much and miss the biggest thing of all, so I responded a little harshly out of hurt, "Yeah. I was thinking about that girl. But it's irrelevant as the feeling isn't mutual. Okay? Satisfied? No girlfriend. No dating. It's unrequited love. Got it? Now, just drop it!" And with that I signed off half an hour before our session was scheduled to end, saying I had a headache, when it was actually a heartache.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom really does have someone he loves. He said so himself. As much as that hurts me to hear, I hate her for not loving him back. What the heck is wrong with her? He deserves to be happy, even if I'm not the one who can make him feel that way. I guess I should be happy that he trusts me enough to tell me these things. Selfishly, I was a little happy that she didn't feel the same way he did, but I hated how he sounded so hurt, so I also felt guilty and vowed to do whatever I could to help him. This meant being supportive of his love and not letting my emotions get in the way.

Over the next several weeks our training sessions were rather patchy because they began their World Tour. We still spoke most days, even if only for a few minutes at a time. The days we didn't speak, we sent messages over Facebook. There was no further mention about the girl and I didn't bring it up.

Their tour started with two dates in Seoul. From there they had a couple of shows in Hong Kong, three in Thailand, one in Macau, and two in Tokyo before having a short break before heading to the States.

Their Stateside tour would be like the last time but with a few extra cities. They were going to start in Miami, then move on to Atlanta, New York, D.C. Chicago, Houston, and L.A. with eleven shows dates total. Their tour would start in early December and then they would have a break for about two weeks around Christmas and New Year and then return to Seoul for two more shows to wrap up.

Apparently, JYP set it up so we were going to attend all concerts as a special thanks for all the work we did with Jaebeom. He offered P1 tickets to us, as well as hotel accommodations and plane tickets to get from one location to the next. My mom declined the P1 tickets, as she wanted to afford other fans the access to the group at the venues since we would have private time with them after the shows and between events. My dad wasn't going to be able to make it, but Mom, Daniel, and I would be going. The joys of home education – flexible schedules!

As the date for the Miami concert approached, I was vacillating between excitement at the thought of seeing Jaebeom again and apprehension knowing the training was finally coming to an end and the need for regular communication would stop. I wasn't sure how often we would chat after that, if at all, and the thought of not having almost daily communication of some sort with Jaebeom was wrecking me.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

"The day after we get in, we have to go to the venue and do a rehearsal that will last most of the morning. After that we'll be taking a rest before the show. Though I want to see you as soon as I get into town, in order to keep the secret, I think we'll have to wait until after the fanmeet. You're staying in the same hotel and on the same floor. We have the whole level booked for security," I explained.

"We're checking in on the afternoon of the fanmeet, so we wouldn't have time to meet before the fanmeet anyway. And I agree that you can't let anyone know we are acquainted before your big reveal or it would clue in the members. As you've said before, they're not the best at avoiding spoilers," Sharay acknowledged.

"Especially Jackson and Youngjae," I agreed, regarding the spoiler problems. "Why didn't you accept the P1 tickets?" I asked casually.

"Really? Like we could just pretend we didn't know each other if we were sitting there getting our photos taken in a group together?" she said, pointing out the obvious.

Even though I was going to share that I had learned English, we had planned to keep it a secret who had done my training. More for their protection than anything. I was going to introduce them to the rest of the group after the fanmeet was over and we got back to the hotel and cleaned up. After all, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Sharay during any down time on the tour. I couldn't do that without letting the rest of the guys meet them. Also I had cleared it with JYP that I would get to stay with Sharay's family for Christmas, something I really looked forward to and which TJ was keeping a secret from both Sharay and Daniel.

"So what happens if your ticket gets selected to be one of those who comes up on stage for the games then?" I inquired.

"Seriously? What are the chances of that happening? About 1:5,000. Not to worry. It won't happen with those odds and in the event any of our tickets get chosen we have a plan. Daniel has no interest in going up. He really doesn't want anyone to call him a fanboy! If any of our tickets gets selected I get to go up, unless it's to be your game partner, then Mom will go up," she explained.

"What? Even if it's your ticket?" I whined.

"Yes. Even if it's mine she'll be the one to go up. I don't think I could pull off pretending I don't know you. Besides, the others are on my bias list and you're on hers. Remember? Besides, I'd love to play games with any of them!"

That damned bias list! How was I ever supposed to compete with that?

 

 


	19. Right Hand, Red!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the Miami fanmeet Jaebeom surprises the fans and gets a surprise of his own - Jackson's game partner is revealed!

 

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Arriving at the Miami airport for the first time since my initial meeting with Sharay was surreal. It was like I could see of shadow of her presence when I walked past the luggage carousel.

"What are you all smiling about?" Jinyoung asked me.

"What?" I replied, being pulled from my reflections.

"You've have the biggest grin on your face. What're you thinking about?"

"Stuff," I replied tersely, wanting to get back to my thoughts. I had been remembering seeing Sharay's green eyes for the first time and having a serious case of "Open mouth, insert foot syndrome." My mouth had started moving before my brain could kick in and I had made a comment about them even before introductions could take place.

Not only had her eyes been beautiful, but they flashed with intelligence, and a heavy dose of whit and sarcasm layered in between. Best of all, I was going to be seeing those eyes, without the filter of a computer, in a little over 30 hours.

I was both nervous and excited about seeing Sharay in person again. I believe we had grown even closer over the past few months. Thinking about it, I would say it was because we were forced to talk and really communicate without me being distracted by her physical proximity. I had a feeling I might just be a bit tongue tied when I first saw her after all those weeks.

We checked into our hotel and the rest of the guys immediately showered and jumped into bed for some sleep. We were going to get a bit of rest before heading to the venue to check it out later this evening. But right now, I had something else to check out.

I had pushed for us to stay at this hotel for a reason. I had done my research and wanted a location that had a rooftop section with a view of the ocean. I'd spoken with the manager and arranged for private access of the rooftop "Sky Deck" the following night. So, taking a few minutes, I headed for the top floor where our rooms were located, and took the stairs up.

Later that evening, after a short rest, we headed to the American Airlines Arena. This venue was larger than the one we had been in the year before. Unlike during the Fly Tour when we were at the Fillmore which seated 2,800 people, this venue seated 5,800 for concerts when the seats were relegated to those in front and to the side of the stage.

By jjron

We ran through the format of the dances and the location where the games would be played with the fans. The sound crew and tech support had been working all day and gave us a quick run through. We'd return in the morning for a more thorough rehearsal, including full mic test, lights, stage placement, the works. Nonetheless we still put in a couple of hours before heading back to the hotel.

One more wake up and a day, I would get to meet up with Sharay again. Before going to sleep, I ran through everything that was scheduled for the upcoming night and I finally fell asleep.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

On the Drive to Miami we played GOT7 albums the entire way. The plan was for me to drive until we got near the city and then Mom was going to switch off with me. I still hated Miami traffic. As we drove down Alligator Alley, I kept remembering the drive I took with Jaebeom that first day, and how we'd ended up sleeping in one another's arms. I felt hot with embarrassment thinking about it now and wondered why I had been so disinclined to be friendly towards him at the time.

We pulled into the hotel around 1 pm and settled into our room. Actually it was more like a suite, as there was one room with two double beds and a separate living area with a pull out couch. We all got ready for the fanmeet and then headed to the venue.

There had been a notice that fans should wear comfortable clothes like jeans or shorts in the event they were selected to participate in the games. No problem there for me. Instead of my regular loose jeans, I selected a pair that were a little more form fitting, but which had some stretch to them since they were lighter weight. I opted for my Harry Potter themed shirt, and at the instance of my mom, ditched my army jacket and Dr. Who scarf. I pulled my hair into a high pony tail and, as always, skipped any makeup. I wasn't out to impress anyone anyhow and, if I did anything differently, Jaebeom would wonder if I was doing to get the attention of the other members.

The line to get in was fairly long, but it was more like a party than anything else. Daniel made friends with every fan girl in the area. They all thought he was the cutest little flower boy and he made the most of it. Mom was in fan girl heaven and could hardly contain herself thinking that later, after the photos and high touch, we would be meeting all the members back at the hotel. She was also really looking forward to seeing Jaebeom perform.

I, on the other hand, was very nervous. This was the first time I would be seeing Jaebeom perform since getting to know him, and I wasn't sure how I was going to feel watching him dance all sexy, knowing him personally. I was also a little concerned that the other members wouldn't like me when we met. Taking a deep breath, I decided to just focus on the fan meet for now and worry about meeting them all when the time came.

We were in P3, but the seats were still pretty great. We were in section 113 right at the front of the balcony, so there was no obstruction to our view and the stage was basically directly in front of us. The arena was packed, as the venue had been sold out in less than 10 minutes from when tickets went on sale, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

As the lights dimmed at 7 pm and the music began I could feel my heart race. Yes, part of it was the music, but mostly it was because Jaebeom looked so, well, hot. As I surveyed the crowd I realized that he had the same affect on just about everyone else in the place. For a moment, my heart just sank, as I knew there was no way I could compete with so many girls.

After two songs, the guys stood in front of chairs with glowing green GOT7 symbols on the back. Jaebeom spoke up, "Hana, Dul, Set, Come and Get It. GOT7." The crowd went nuts.

The guys then took their seats and began introductory speeches. On the far left was Mark, then Jinyoung, next was Jackson, followed by Jaebeom, Yugyeom, Youngjae, and Bambam on the far right end. They started introductions with Mark who, of course, spoke in English.

"Hey Miami! We are so glad to be back here in a bigger location. Are you guys all having a good time so far?" Mark asked the crowd, who cheered and yelled.

Jinyoung also spoke in fairly decent English, though he was more formal in his comments. "Hello Ahgase! Thank you for welcoming us with such kindness. It is one and a half years since last here. I am happy to be back and thank you for filling the seats to support us."

"What's up Maimi!!!!!!" Yelled Jackson. Then he launched into a lengthy discussion about how he loved Florida and all the people here, how kind everyone was and how he was so glad to be here. He even added in comments about making sure we were being healthy.

The next in line was Jaebeom, but he nodded to Yugyeom to go next and the interpreter relayed that he said he would be going last. Yugyeom and the rest of the guys gave him a quizzical look, but the maknae proceeded by introducing himself and speaking a little broken English and relying heavily on the interpreter for the rest of his comments.

Youngjae did likewise, greeting us with a little English and mostly Korean. Wrapping things up was Bambam.

"Hey yo! It's your boy Bambam. Double B loving it here in Miami!" he said as he dabbed much to the delight of the crowd, including my little brother.

Since they had practiced with Bambam being the last, the guys went to get up, then Jaebeom cleared his throat and in Korean told them to wait just a moment, he had to say a few things first. The members sat back down and Jaebeom stood up.

Turning to the interpreter, he smiled and said he would go slowly and began as the interpreter relayed his message. "Hi I'm JB. I would like to apologize for not being a good leader to GOT7."

At this point there were cheers and yells that he was the best. Smiling shyly, Jaebeom continued. "I have let down GOT7 and all Ahgase by not learning how to speak English. Those who know me, know I am a perfectionist and hate it when I can't do things just right. I also hate relying on someone to translate for me. It makes me feel powerless."

Jaebeom continued, "So I've been working on my English and would like to greet you tonight in your own language, by myself, for the first time." At this point he walked over to the interpreter who was standing on the far end of the stage and whispered something to him and the guys face showed total shock followed by a big smile. Jaebeom shook his hand and gave him a pat on the back.

Jaebeom walked back to the center of the stage, and in perfect English, without any hint that he was not U.S. born, he continued," Ahgase. Last time I was here I promised to do better."

He had to stop there as the crowd went absolutely nuts. I thought they had gone crazy when Jinyoung first spoke in English the last time they were here, but this was 100 times crazier. Not only was the crowd going wild, but the members were going crazy too.

Jackson started spazzing out and actually fell off his chair in surprise then began jumping up and down and screaming while thumping Jaebeom on the back. Then he started running in circles on the stage and finally fell to the ground pounding it with his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs. Mark was slack-jawed at the end and Jinyoung was open-mouthed and showing amazement. All the members were clearly demonstrating that they were as surprised as the crowd.

Jaebeom let the mayhem go on for a bit, then he started back up again. "I guess you can tell that this is a secret I've kept from the other members." Again the place went crazy.

Being the leader he was, Jaebeom gave them a few moments to settle down then he took control, "I know you're excited, but we'll never get very far if you keep interrupting me! So here's what I'm going to do. You all need to be absolutely silent if you want me to proceed." He had to say this last part a couple of times before the audience became so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"Thank you. Now I think everyone can hear me. As I was saying, I feel as though I had been remiss as a leader not learning English, so I made it a point to received special training over the past 5-6 months. This has been a secret only JYP and my trainers knew about. Even the members didn't find out until just now. I wanted to be able to speak with our English speaking fans without relying on interpreters. Though they do a fine job, and I sincerely thank the interpreter for this evening, I don't want any barriers between me and my fans. I promise to continue growing and learning as the leader of GOT7 and I promise we will come back every year stronger than the last, with better music and more skills each time. I hope you liked this surprise!"

And with that, the entire building when wild. I was pretty sure that they could hear us all the way to Korea and I just knew that Twitter, Intragram, and all the live feeds were going berserk right about now. This was seriously going to be trending. #JBSPEAKSFLUENTENGLISH. As the people around us were commenting and praising him for his great English, Mom and I exchanged smiles. He had done so very well and I, for one, was so very proud of him.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I felt a little tight and tense during the first couple of songs, then I introduced the group, "Hana, Dul, Set. Come and Get It. GOT7.

As we took our seats the members began introducing themselves. They started to my right with Mark, Jinyoung, and Jackson. When it was supposed to have been my turn, like we had practiced during rehearsal, I nodded to Yugyeom and told him I would be going last. Though he was a little caught off guard, he went with the flow and was followed by Youngjae and Bambam.

Taking the lead, I began in Korean and set the groundwork for my big reveal. Once I said I was going to greet the audience in English, I walked over to the interpreter and whispered to him in English, "Thank you so much for all you've done. I appreciate it, but I think I can take it from here. I'll be the interpreter for the remainder of the evening. Stand by though as we may need your assistance during some of the games." The poor guy just about dropped his microphone. He stared for a second and then when his faculties returned, he gave me a great big smile, shook my hand and left the stage.

The minute I started speaking English, the audience went nuts. Jackson was the craziest of all. He was so surprised that he fell right off his chair before running around and screaming like a nut. I just had to smile at his response. English was his "thing." Truth be told he probably spoke better, at least more, than Mark, and Bambam's English was patchy. For him to be so excited that I spoke English as well, if not better than he did, was a testament to his loyalty and support for the others in our group. He wasn't prideful and had always been willing to help without judgment or looking down on me. I was humbled by the fact that he was so excited and happy for me.

Jinyoung looked stunned. What can I say? He'd really been plugging away at English and was doing very well and here I had surpassed him. I was determined to convince JYP that he should be the next to get training, after all, a great US accent would help him garner choice acting roles. I nodded at my JJP partner and pointed to him as if to indicate he was next.

Though I had prepared this speech well in advance, and had gone over it a thousand times in my head, I wasn't sure how to handle the explosive response from the crowd. Finally, I had to gain control by telling them to be silent. That was a little trick I had picked up from Sharay, who once told me that excited children needed to be told what to do rather than what not to do. Asking them to be quiet left them to determine how much noise was acceptable. Asking for silence was specific, and the trick worked.

After our introductions, we began some questions and answers using the ones that had been submitted by the audience in advance. Jackson was our MC for this segment. Since I had dismissed the interpreter, I acted as translator for the members who weren't fluent. The audience seemed to like the fact that I was talking more than normal, along with Jackson being the MC.

We did a few other activities including Random Dance. The penalty for the losing team was to sing a song after inhaling helium. Bambam, Mark, and Jackson lost and it was hilarious hearing those with the deepest voices singing like chipmunks. They started out with "I Like You" and they sounded just like the audio track when they sang "Nan Nega Choah."

After these activities we moved on to several more songs and finally got to the part of the evening where we left to go back stage and some videos were played. The plan was to come out through the audience singing the Confession Song, as we had done in the past. This time though, I was fairly mobbed by fans who all wanted to speak to me in English and say something to me. I was truly amazed with the love they showered me. Had I really missed out on all these kind and heartfelt comments and well wishes? I briefly regretted not learning English earlier, then realized that I wouldn't have met Sharay had I done so. Looking up to the balcony in the direction of section 113, where I knew Sharay, TJ, and Daniel were sitting, I gave a big smile. Though I couldn't see her with the lighting, I knew she was there and hoped she was as proud of me tonight as the other fans were.

Getting back up on stage, Bambam announced that we would be calling out the raffle numbers of those who would be coming up to play some activities with us. As Sharay had noted, the chances of her number being selected was minuscule, and even if I picked her number, she wouldn't be my partner. Nonetheless, I hoped she would be selected and, if by me, would change her mind and come on stage.

I didn't know what the challenges were as they were chosen from a selection at random by the person hosting this segment. Tonight, Mark was the MC for this portion.

Starting with Bambam, each of us selected a ticket from a bowl and read out the number, calling down the fan. One by one they came to the stage. When my number was called, a girl came up to me and all but jumped into my arms squealing, "I can't believe how good you speak English!"

Internally I could hear Sharay's voice correcting her: "Speak is a verb. You need to use the adverb 'well". The proper way of saying it is "I can't believe how WELL you speak English."

Despite her grammatical gaff, I smiled broadly at her. "What's your name? I'm JB."

The girl giggled and said her name was Maria. While we were chatting, I felt the air in the place change and looked up to see Sharay ascend the final step to the stage.

$hit! She was going to be either Jackson or Jinyoung's partner. I froze and felt the floor drop out from underneath me at the realization that my worst nightmare was about to happen and I wouldn't be in a position to intervene. Both of these guys were on the top of the blasted bias list and what was she wearing? A Harry Potter T-shirt that said "My Patronus is a Bookworm" which shouted that she was a Potterhead and loved to read – just up Jinyoungs's alley. She was also wearing form fitting jeans that showed off her athletic body and her legs that were long and slender, both things that were high on Jackson's list of things he found attractive in a girl.

As she came up on stage she politely bowed in acknowledgment of Bambam, Youngjae, and Yugyeom. As she approached me our eyes met and she gave a small smile and a brief bow before turning all her attention to Jackson. My mouth went dry as I followed his gaze which was appraising her from head to toe. Just behind him, I saw Jinyoung break into an effervescent grin and he broke ranks to great her.

"You like books and Harry Potter? Excellent!" he was saying as he reached for her hand, a hand I was precluded from holding. My temper ratcheted up.

"Um, yes, to both," she responded politely, then turned and smiled at Jackson. "I guess we're partners?" she asked tentatively while holding up her ticket. She smiled apologetically at Jinyoung, as Jackson let out a whoop!

Meanwhile, Maria was saying something to me that I was barely aware of and I felt badly that I had been rude. I gave Sharay one last looked and she happened to glance over at me at that moment. It took every ounce of self control not to run over and hug her right then and there. Mechanically, I turned towards Maria, intent on being a gracious host.

Why was I not surprised that Jackson was enthralled with Sharay? Each of the girls had to introduce themselves, and par for the course, Jackson had spent the several minutes before chatting to Sharay and proceeded to introduce her as if they had known each other since childhood.

"This is Sharay," he began. "She looks young, but she's 18. So she's an adult. She was born in Virginia but lives in Florida and is attending University. I'm at the top of her bias list." He announced this last part as if he were staking a claim and challenging the others to question its veracity. He looked directly at me with a wicked smile and wagged his finger at me as if to say, "Yep. She's of legal age. Oh, don't even bother. You're not even on her bias list, so give it up." Sharay blushed and cast her eyes downward. I noticed that she pointedly ignored looking in my direction.

I was getting more and more irritated at Jackson. He kept touching her arms and placing his hand on her shoulder. He even placed his hands on her hips, making like he was trying to smooth out her T-shirt so he could read what was written on it. I know this was just a ruse to touch her sides as the shirt was form fitting and hugged her curves, making the wording easy to read. As he made this move though, she doubled over in laughter and I thanked God she was extremely ticklish, as she brushed his hands away in the process.

Maybe I was premature in my thanks, as Yugyeom spotted the interaction and decided to abandon his partner who was flirting with Youngjae. He marched right over and began comparing ticklish spots the two of them shared. Things got a bit dicey at this point as Jackson felt like Yugyeom was muscling in on his partner. This lead to Jackson tickling Yugyeom, leaving Sharay unattended for a bit, at which point both Jinyoung and Mark moved in on her.

Seriously!? What the heck was I supposed to do? Mark was pretending to act as MC to get things under control, but instead he was conversing with Sharay, Jinyoung was trying to talk about books with her, and then Jackson realized that he had a war on both fronts, so he kicked Yugyeom in the butt forcing him to return to his partner then rounded on Jinyoung and Mark.

I could only hope the activities would start soon so the focus would be on that instead of Sharay. As I turned back to Maria, I saw that Yugyeom had returned to his spot next to me but that both Youngjae and Bambam were checking out Sharay to see what the ruckus was all about the my right. $hit! All six? How was I going to handle this? I felt so hopeless and my anger level was rising fast.

Finally, Marked reached for a jar with some large tongue depressors in it. On each stick was a task. He was going to select three of them at random. The first task he announced was Twister. He read out the instructions and asked the interpreter if he would be willing to come back on stage and help by spinning the spinner and calling out the colors and body parts. Only Sharay and two other girls, Mark and Yugyeom's partners, had followed the request for jeans or shorts to be worn. The others were in super tight short skirts or loose dresses, so they weren't going to be able to actively participate in this game. Ha! Too bad.

The super sized Twister mat was set out in front of us and, with 10 of us playing, it was going to get crazy really fast. What the others didn't know, that I did, was that Sharay was a master contortionist and very flexible. As the interpreter called out "Right hand. Red!" we all made a mad dash. I hesitated just a spit second and then reached for the same spot as Sharay. She looked up to see to whom the hand belonged and our eyes met just inches apart, before I moved to an empty spot.

I couldn't help myself. Her proximity had me all riled up. A wicked grin played on my lips as I quietly said for her ears only, "This could prove to be quite interesting!"

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

It's my number!" shouted Daniel as he jumped up and down. Handing it to me he said, 'This is your Christmas present. Don't ever say the gifts I get you are bad!"

All the people around us were all taken by the generosity and kindness of my little brother.

"Are you sure?" I prodded. "I know you said you would do this, but it's different to say it when you don't think it's going to happen versus when it actually does."

"Nope. I'm good with it," he insisted. "Besides, it's Jackson's ticket so it should be tons of fun."

"Thank you Daniel," I said as I gave him a big hug and made my way towards the stage clutching his ticket in my hand.

As I neared the stage, I could feel my heart pounding. Jaebeom was up there and he was looking towards the end of the stage trying to make out who the last game partners were going to be. I guess the lighting made it difficult to see, as it was until I was on the top step that I saw recognition flash in his eyes and I realized he had been waiting to see if I would be one of the ones chosen.

Jaebeom's eyes danced and then became the tightest of slits as his smile grew wider at seeing me. I had to drag my eyes from contact with his and turned to my right as I walked down the front of the stage, looking each of the members in the eye and acknowledging them with a small bow. As I came to Jaebeom, my forward progression stuttered until I could again focus on something, someone, other than him.

Coming towards me with the cutest eye smile which split his face, was Jinyoung. He extended his hand and grabbed mine jealously while he said, "You like books and Harry Potter? Excellent!"

"Um, yes, to both," I mumbled politely, then turned and smiled at Jackson. "I guess we're partners?" I asked a little tenuously while holding up Daniel's ticket. I gave an apologetic smile at Jinyoung and then was immediately overwhelmed with the whirling dervish known as Jackson Wang.

Jackson was like Daniel on steroids. He asked a dozen questions in machine gun fashion. "What's your name? How old are you? Really you look younger than that. So you're an adult. That's good. Where do you go to school? Where were you born? Virginia, huh? Do you live there or here in Florida? Am I your bias? I am right? Tell me I am."

When I told him I was 18, he pulled me closer and made some comment about me looking younger but that it was good that I was an adult. I acknowledged that he was on my bias list, but that the list was long. "How long? Who else is on it? Anyone else for GOT7 or is it just me?"

I felt like I was being interrogated, so I answered without properly thinking of the consequences and admitted that all of the members, with the exception of JB, were on my bias list. I added that JB was my mom's bias, like that somehow justified or explained why he wasn't on mine. Jackson took it upon himself to declare that he was on the top of the list when he introduced me. He seemed to have fun pulling rank on the other members, especially when he joked with Jaebeom by wagging his finger at him. He also seemed to make a point about calling attention to my age versus how old I looked.

I glance briefly at Jaebeom and noticed that he was getting angry. His lower jaw was jutting out and he was working his jaw muscles in a clear attempt to avoid lashing out at Jackson. Jackson, however, seemed oblivious to Jaebeom's evident pent up fury. That or he knew that in this setting it couldn't be unleashed and was willing to deal with the leader's wrath after the fan meet.

I had seen enough videos of Jackson and saw him at one fan meet last time they were in Miami to know that he was a touchy feely kind of fellow, but he was more like an octopus. He held my arm, put his arm around my shoulders, touched my shoulders, and I realized immediately what a sensory seeker he was. It was when he reached for the hem of my shirt on the auspices of reading my shirt that sensory overload hit and I squealed with laughter and pulled back, pushing his hands from my sides.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Jaebeom had been monitoring the situation and was temporarily relieved that I had extricated myself without hitting Jackson. Before Jackson could reengage, Yugyeom appeared out of, like, nowhere. Looking up into his sweet gentle face, I recalled Jaebeom saying Lunk reminded him of the maknae. He was HUGE! With a soft kind voice he endeavored to compare shared tickle spots with me.

I guess Yugyeom's sheer size stayed Jackson's advances for a spell or maybe it was because Jinyoung and Mark had come over as well. Jinyoung was asking me about books, though I couldn't focus too much on what he was saying as Mark was trying to corral everyone and it was a bit like trying to herd cats. Finally, Jackson literally started kicking Yugyeom to get him to return to the other side of Jaebeom and Mark regained some sense of control by announcing they would be selecting activities to do.

Mark drew the first stick from the jar and the task listed was Twister. Looking up and down the stage, I realized only three of us who had come up to join the boys were dressed in a way that would allow for participation. I guess that's why they had that disclaimer about wearing shorts or jeans.

Out came an oversized Twister mat and there were 10 of us who would be playing. It was going to be a challenge at best. Seven guys and three girls! This should be interesting I thought. The interpreter, who had been called back on stage to read out where the spinner pointed, called out "Right hand. Red!"

I squatted down and placed my right hand on the third red one from the end. Not a second afterwards, I felt another hand brush against mine. As I looked up, I found myself staring directly into the twinkling soft brown eyes of Im Jaebeom, my best friend. He was inches away from my face with that sexy crooked smile playing across his lips.

"This could prove to be quite interesting!" he commented, so only I could hear, and I felt my heart pound in my chest in a way only he could get it to respond.


	20. Jackson's Game Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson adores his game partner and Jaebeom gets jealous. He lose it when Jackson announces that he knows Jaebeom is not Sharay's bias.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As expected, Sharay was able to twist and turn in a thousand ways to keep from falling over. The other two girls and Youngjae dropped out early; the girls due to inflexibility and Youngjae because he couldn't stop laughing which made him fall.

The production crew had prepared well for this. They had someone work a camera drone so that the big screen could project what was going on from a bird's eye view. And with Sharay as the only remaining female, the rest of the guys turned their competitive mode up to high gear. I was no different, but my focus was now on keeping them from leaning over her, or having their legs and faces in compromising positions.

Predictably, Jackson became possessive of "his game partner", which only caused him to get into a tussle with Jinyoung who, not surprisingly, was going all out to get Sharay's attention. Yugyeom had the advantage of long legs, but my B-boy ground work gave me and even greater edge. Not to mention, I was bound and determined to stay until the end, knowing Sharay had this one in the bag.

Bambam was the next one to fall. His upper body strength gave out on him far faster than he would have liked. All those who were out, and the girls who hadn't played due to their clothing, were gather around cheering everyone on. Well, the girls weren't cheering for Sharay, they were rooting for only us boys. I could tell they were actually rather hostile towards Sharay because of the attention she was getting, though it was clearly not her fault. Without that overhead camera, none of the audience could have seen what was happening on the Twister mat.

Some of the guys decided they were going to try getting Sharay into a compromising position. So they started chatting amongst themselves in Korean, thinking they could control the situation. I almost fell at that point, knowing Sharay would be able to understand everything they said and, thus, would out maneuver them.

"Come on JB, work with us," conspired Yugyeom in Korean.

"Oh, no. You guys can play that game on your own. I'll have nothing to do with it," I responded.

A few moves later, and with Sharay launching a counterstrike of her own, Yugyeom was out and so was Jinyoung. This left just Sharay, Mark, Jackson, and me. Though Jackson and I were the strongest, Mark was light and also decently strong as he had been working out his upper body as of late. I was definitely feeling that they were pulling for one another when they decided to continue their communication in Chinese.

Sharay glanced over at me and smiled. I could tell she had a plan but wasn't sure what it was, so I was surprised when her next move placed her directly over the top of Jackson.

Jackson was on his back like a crab when Sharay moved her right hand so it would be over his chest while her left hand remained on his other side. I wasn't sure how she was balancing like that without touching him, but it was enough to throw Jackson off guard and he collapsed to the ground. It sure threw me off. I was grinding my teeth.

"You're out!" cried those around us and Yugyeom and Jinyoung grabbed his arms and pulled him off the mat and out from under Sharay. Now it was down to Sharay, Mark and me. My goal now was to get Sharay flustered, but before I could do that, she pulled a fast one on me and before I knew it, she had one hand right between my legs and the other next to my side, while the rest of her body was off to my left. She pulled the same trick on me that she had with Jackson! I wasn't sure if I was happy or pissed off about it. Her upper torso and head were hovering over my lower body in a rather suggestive way and I about lost it.

Mark, on the other hand, actually did lose it and came crashing down right at about that point as he had twisted his legs in one direction and his arms in another looking rather like a pretzel and couldn't maintain his balance long enough for the next color and limb to be called.

I figured this was my chance, so I grabbed Sharay and pulled her up and on to me while falling to the mat.

I guess the audience was going a little crazy, but all I could hear was the heavy breathing of Sharay and the thumping of my heart.

"Jaebeom, you have to let me go or I'm going to be targeted by every fan girl that exists," she said loudly enough for me to hear over the crowd but so that only I could make it out.

I gave her a big smile. With my strength I was able to rock us both up in one smooth move.

"And the winner is Sharay!" cried Mark.

I didn't realize that I was still holding on to Sharay until Jackson came over and gave me a not so friendly shove and reclaimed his game partner.

I shrugged and went back to Maria, who was also looking a little put out.

"I sure wish you could have played," I offered to pacify her and shifted her focus to me and off her venomous feelings towards Sharay.

"Really? Do you mean that? I would have, but I really wanted to look cute and feminine for you,' she gushed.

"Well you do," I responded, though I wasn't the least bit interested in the girl in that way.

"Okay," cried Mark. "Our next game is ....." and he pulled out another stick.

"Oh!" he said. "We need the production crew to bring out the smart tablets. This is a quick draw activity. We'll have the tablets set up for each of the pairs and they will take turns drawing. The tablets are configured so we can project the images on the screen for everyone to see. The girls will be drawing one of the members and GOT7 will draw their partner. We'll start with the guys first. We will have 30 seconds to draw our partners. Each of us has a stylus and a tablet. When I say go, you begin drawing. I'm going to ask our interpreter turned game host assistant to sound a buzzer when we have to stop."

The interpreter translated these instructions for Youngjae, Yugyeom, and Jinyoung's benefit, as part of the process. I think the translation also helped Bambam a bit since he seemed confused.

"Wait," called Jackson. "We draw our partners, but they get to draw whichever one of us they want?" he asked, not sounding too happy about the arrangement.

"Yes. We draw our partner, but they get to choose," reinforced Mark.

And with that we were all handed a tablet and readied ourselves to draw our partners. I was thankful that Maria had an easy hair style. She had shoulder length black hair which was super curly. Her eyes were a deep brown and her smile was bright. Given any other situation, I would say she was very pretty, but my heart was with the blonde girl to my side. Sitting down in my chair, I readied myself for draw.

"Han, Dul, Set!" shouted Mark and I began drawing.

"BUZZ!" rang out the buzzer from the interpreter and we all stopped. Looking back and up at the screen, we could see the efforts of all the members. As usually, Jinyoung was the best and Yugyeom was the worst. Again, I was fortunate that the drawing of my partner just required big brown eyes, a smile, and lots of curls.

My eye immediately went to Jackson's rendition of Sharay and I scoffed. "You screwed it up big time Bro," I said to him in Korean.

"What do you mean?" he asked looking between his drawing and Sharay. "I did a great job! Beautiful long blonde hair in a pony tail, happy smile, and big blue eyes."

"Exactly," I said in a mocking tone. "You screwed up! Her eyes aren't blue."

With that I winked at Sharay again and turned back to Maria.

"Okay ladies. It's your turn. Have a seat and take a tablet and be ready to draw when I say go. "Ready? Hana, Dul, Set!"

I was watching Maria who was trying to draw me. She was actually doing a fairly decent job but the buzzer sounded before she could finish it so she was a little disappointed and apologized for not being a good partner.

"You did great," I assured her as I quickly glanced up at the screen to see what Sharay had drawn, but her drawing wasn't being shown at that moment.

I could hear the protestations of Jackson. "Why didn't you draw me?" He was pulling out all the stops, complete with pouting lips and boo boo lips, silly voice and tipped head, the works. We're talking aegyo at its finest.

Sharay was looking embarrassed and chanced a glance at me before responding in a question, "He's easier to draw than you?"

I pulled alongside Sharay to review her handiwork. I was curious about who she'd drawn since it was clear that it wasn't Jackson. As I did, the biggest grin spread across my face. She'd drawn me instead of Jackson!

Meanwhile, Jackson was whining, "I still don't understand. Why HIM? I mean, he's not even on your bias list!"

My head jerked up at this and I looked Sharay dead in the eye. "You told HIM that?" I asked in an accusatory tone, like she'd shared a trade secret.

I was so hurt and angry that she would tell him that. No wonder he'd been gloating all night long. I wanted to just walk off the stage and get away from Jackson and his "She likes me better than you" look, but I was stuck standing there because this wasn't just about me.

I know it was childish of me, but I wanted to hurt her back, so I looked at the drawing and said, "You should stick with your day job. You'd never make it as an artist," and turned to go back to my partner, when I felt her hand touch my arm.

I slowly turned and raised my eyes to meet hers. I know I was upset and hurt and could tell it was written all over my face. I didn't want her to see me being childish like this, but I just couldn't help myself.

"Don't be angry," she said with a sad smile that pushed my resentment for Jackson away as I couldn't bring myself to be the cause of her pain, no matter how hurt I was. She was saying so much more than that with her eyes. Then, in an effort to change the mood, she started laughing that full belly laugh of hers. She threw her head back and let loose only as Youngjae and I could do, with mouth wide-open and pulling the joy from deep within.

"You're right. I'm no artist! I had to draw you. I can't do eyes!! I can't draw stick men with a ruler and I thought two lines, a few moles, a smile, and a hat would be the best I could do and have it look remotely like anyone."

As easily as that, I forgave her and automatically reacted by walking up to her, looking her in the eyes and saying, "How could I be angry with you?" As I said this I reached out instinctively and placed my hands on either side of her head, tipped her head down just a touch, so I could plant a kiss on her forehead.

I immediately became aware of the other people around me, those on the stage as well as the roughly 5,000 in the audience, when I heard a collective gasp. I stepped back, stumbling a bit and turned to Maria, who was glaring at Sharay with hatred in her eyes. I can't believe that I had actually forgotten where I was. I had been so focused on Sharay.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

These guys were nothing short of rapscallions! I had to hold my laughter as they tried to coordinate their efforts to get me in a compromising position by giving one another instructions in Korean. Pity they didn't know I understood them and was able to block them at every move. Jaebeom knew better than to get involved or I would have ripped him a new one later.

It didn't take long until it was just me and Jaebeom left on the Twister mat. I knew he could beat me easily with this B-boy skills. I mean there wasn't a single twist he couldn't do and hold for any period of time. My only chance at beating him was to throw him off his game, so I made an effort to switch things up a bit and pull the same ploy on him that the guys were trying to pull on me, one that I had been successful in using to take down Jackson just moments before. To that end I finally found myself with one hand next to his side, the other basically between his legs, and my body hanging precariously over the top of his lower torso. This was way more than I had planned and I was feeling rather flushed. Especially since Jaebeom was facing up towards me. I was aiming to throw him off and I didn't count on how it would impact me!

Before I knew it, he fell on the mat and grabbed me, pulling me with him. "Jaebeom, you have to let me go or I'm going to be targeted by every fan girl that exists," I urgently said to him loudly enough for his ears only.

Jaebeom smiled up at me and gave me a wink. Using his strength, he rocked us up in a single motion.

"And the winner is Sharay!" cried Mark.

The next activity was a "Quick Draw" activity using a tablet. We were to draw one of the members of GOT7 and they were to draw there partner within a specified and short time frame.

Jackson had to draw me first. His effort was rather humorous, but knowing my limited artistic abilities I didn't judge him harshly. That was more than I could say for Jaebeom who butted in and commented in a rather snide way, "You screwed it up big time Bro.

"What do you mean?" Jackson asked looking between his drawing and me. "I did a great job! Beautiful long blonde hair in a pony tail, happy smile, and big blue eyes."

"Exactly," Jaebeom mocked him. "You screwed up! Her eyes aren't blue."

With that he winked at me before returning to his partner.

It was my turn to draw one of the members. I was so not looking forward to this. My artistic abilities were sorely lacking and I was afraid I would be making a fool out of myself in short order. Fortunately, I had the option of picking which member I would draw. I couldn't think of how to draw anyone except Jaebeom. My drawing skill were bad enough on a good day, but I really couldn't draw eyes. Straight lines though...that I could do. A few well placed moles and a bucket hat, so I could avoid having to deal with hair and.... TaDa! A really lousy rendition of my best friend.

What I hadn't counted on was Jackson being jealous that I hadn't drawn him. Oops!

"Why didn't you draw me?" His efforts to win me over were so cute. He was pulling out his very best aegyo. I could only tell him the truth, at least part of it

I was a touch embarrassed and chanced a glance at Jaebeom before responding in a question, "He's easier to draw than you?"

Just then Jaebeom pulled along side of me and reviewed my handiwork. He seemed curious about who I had drawn since it was clear that it wasn't Jackson. When he saw I had selected him, a big grin spread across my face.

Meanwhile, Jackson continued his little tantrum, "I still don't understand. Why HIM? I mean, he's not even on your bias list!"

Ouch. I really hadn't wanted him to let on that I had let slip that Jaebeom wasn't on my bias list. I mean, it was true, but ...

Before I could finish my thought, Jaebeom barked at me, "You told HIM that?"

He sounded so hurt and angry. I couldn't quite understand why. He knew he wasn't on my bias list. Maybe it had more to do with the fact that I had shared it with Jackson? It didn't help that Jackson noticed his response and was goading him about it.

What I didn't expect was what Jaebeom said to me next, much less the tone he took when he verbally lashed out with, "You should stick with your day job. You'd never make it as an artist," before turning back to his partner.

I couldn't let him go like that and I reached for his arm, instinctively wanting to sooth his feelings.

"Don't be angry," I said, hoping that he could read what I really meant through the look I was giving him.

As soon as I saw a shift in Jaebeom's demeanor, the weight that had been bearing down on me lifted and nervous laughter bubbled out of me and quickly turned in to real mirth.

"You're right. I'm no artist! I had to draw you! I can't do eyes!! I can't draw stick men with a ruler and I thought two lines, a few moles, a smile, and a hat would be the best I could do and have it look remotely like anyone," I finally managed to get out.

Jaebeom took several steps in my directions and looked me right in the eyes saying, "How could I be angry with you?" Before I knew what was happening, his hands where cradling my head on both sides and he tipped my head down just a touch. Then, he did the unthinkable and, in front of everyone, he planted a kiss on my forehead.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Jackson all but growled at me and moved in my direction like he was going to take a swing. Mark had turned to see what all the fuss was about and intercepted him. Youngjae who was standing nearby having been drawn over earlier by Sharay's laughter, looked confused. I quickly shifted my focus to Maria in an attempt to diffuse the situation and draw attention from my interaction with Sharay.

Jackson continued to grumble and give me dirty looks, but finally returned to conversing with Sharay. As was his normal M.O., his attitude shifted dramatically from one moment to the next.

As I tried to stay focused more on Maria. I could see Jackson had Sharay's Blackberry in his hands and he was busy doing something. Before I could figure out what he was up to, he had his phone out and was taking a selca with it. Apparently he realized that the Blackberry wasn't the best for photos.

After a bit, he was standing next to Sharay and, side by side, he was comparing their leg length. Jackson was clearly despondent to find that Sharay's were longer. I could have told him that!

Mark took control again and announced it was time for the last challenge. "Each girl gets to say something personal to their game partner, but they have to do it in Korean!" he announced.

In order to keep the activity moving, he decided that it would be more fun if everyone selected lots to determine what order they would go in.

The order was set. Bambam, Mark, Jinyoung, me, Youngjae, Yugyeom and then finally, Jackson. Going to each girl in order, Mark asked if any of them were native Korean speakers. Most giggled at the thought and a few said their first language was Spanish. Some said they had been studying for a bit, others just knew some words from our songs or from KDramas.

Most of the girls chose the obvious and uttered things like "Oppa, Saranghae" or "Nega Cho-ah" and the like. Jinyoung's partner made the mistake of using Banmal and he corrected her by noting it was "Sarananghae-oh" since he was her senior.

Maria politely asked me to marry her. I smiled and said I was honored by her request and kissed her hand. She squealed with delight, even though I had side-stepped her proposal.

Mark approached Sharay and asked her the same question he had the others, "So, do you know any Korean?"

"Well," she hedged, 'I've been studying for about 5 months now and my teacher is a real stickler for grammar and insists that I memorize a lot of vocabulary." She shot me a quick sideways glance as she said this with a smile.

"Well then," Mark noted, "Let's see what you can offer Jackson."

Sharay turned to Jackson.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

This last task was a challenge for me. I wasn't too thrilled about speaking in front of others and spur of the moment conversations, especially under the scrutiny of a crowd, were well outside my comfort zone. I was only thankful that I wasn't Jaebeom's partner and didn't have to share with him my thoughts about him in front of all these people. Heck. I couldn't even do that when it was just the two of us.

As it was, I had to tell Jackson something. I could do like the other girls and go the safe and boring route, but took a deep breath and decided I had to tell him what I really felt. I'd had these thoughts about him for a while. But after his interaction with me tonight and the comments he had been making, I felt it was necessary for me to really have a heart to heart with him.

I stole a glance at Jaebeom, who nodded his head assuring me I could just go full out, and without wasting any more time, I opened my mouth and in almost fluent Korean offered:

"Jackson. I'm pretty sure I am speaking on behalf of all Ahgase and Jackies when I say this. It breaks my heart every time you put yourself down. Every time you say you're short, or not handsome, or not as talented as others. I want to shake you and tell you you're wrong. Please! Comparing yourself with the highlight reels of others is just what the devil wants. For every time you say such things out loud, I'm sure you say those things to yourself dozens of times more. You are perfect and need to hear the words of your own song. You are "Just Right!" Your heart is beautiful and that makes you beautiful, regardless of whether your skin is clear, you're shaved, or if you have a six-pack or not. Your love for others and life is huge! This makes you a giant in the eyes of your friends and fans. That is a truer measurement of you than centimeters or inches. Please. Hear my heart and know that you are beautifully and wonderfully made."

As I said this last part, Jackson sunk to his knees crying. I didn't know what else to do beside bend down and offer him comfort, just like I would any of the little kids in my Sunday school group when they were hurting.

"Please don't cry," I begged in Korean. Jackson clung to me like I was his life saver.

I looked up at Jaebeom for some indication of how I should proceed. He patted my shoulder and nodded his head, letting me know that I should just continue doing what I was doing. The other members gather around Jackson and reaffirmed what I had said.

The other girls, and a vast majority of the audience, were at a loss not having understood Korean. Fortunately, the interpreter was on the ball and he quickly stated, "Jackson's game partner asked him not to put himself down. She told him he was "Just Right" and had the heart of a giant which is the true measurement of him, not centimeters or inches. She said he was beautifully and wonderfully made."

Fortunately, that seemed to help. Some of the audience, and more than a few of the girls, had jumped to the wrong conclusion and must have thought I had said something to hurt his feelings. It took a few moments, but Jackson finally wiped his eyes and looked up at me.

Standing, and pulling me to my feet, Jackson gave me a big hug and said in English, "Thank you. Others have said similar things to me before but, this time, when you said it, I believed it right to the core. My tears were not of sadness but an overwhelming sense of peace. I just didn't know how to handle the emotion, it was so strong."

As if a switch had been thrown, Jackson's entire face was bright and glowing and his demeanor had shifted. It was noticeable to everyone.

The rest of the guys were chatting to one another, and Jinyoung finally cleared his throat and spoke, "We've decided that since Sharay won Twister and helped Jackson see the truth about how great he is, we are going to let her have a group photo with the members and just her."

"Please," I interrupted, looking at Jaebeom with concern, "Can we do it with all the game partners?"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

For Sharay to say what she did to Jackson, in almost perfect Korean, was a thing of beauty. I was so proud of her skills and mastery of my language. What she said though was deep and heartfelt, and I was just as proud of her for that. To see his reaction and learn it was because he finally believed the words we had all been telling him for years now was outright miraculous.

It was a little touch and go there for a bit, as some of the audience thought Jackson had been upset by her words. Thankfully, the interpreter was more than a mouth piece and jumped in with a quick explanation. Jackson's own words in English assured everyone that he was better than fine.

While I was paying attention to Jackson and Sharay, the other members decided amongst themselves that they would award Sharay with a photo op with the members. Though I understood their gesture was out of appreciation for what she said to Jackson, I could tell the mood of the girls on the stage and some in the audience was antagonistic towards her. Jealousy is truly an ugly thing. I didn't want her to be viewed negatively, especially in light of my future goal to have these very people back me when I announced I was dating her; assuming she would ever agree.

Fortunately, Sharay was ahead of the game and deflected by asking to have all the game partners join in the photo op.

The mood changed immediately to one of appreciation for Sharay and recognition of her generosity. As we arranged ourselves for the photographer, I couldn't help but smile. After the photo was done, we said farewell to our partners. All the guys gave Sharay a hug, and Jackson escorted her off the stage. This girl was one of a kind and I was determined to make her mine. Now if only I could get Jackson to stop trying to grope her! I chortled a bit as I thought about how surprised they were going to be later on this evening when they were reintroduced to her as my best friend and one of my English trainers.

Once all the girls had returned to their seats, we launched into a few more songs and, before calling it a night, we each addressed the audience once more. Jackson thanked Sharay again for her words and thanked all Ahgase for being so supportive. Mark was his usual quiet self, offering few comments, and Jinyoung said he had more fun this time than the last time in Miami.

I thanked everyone again for putting up with me for so long about not speaking English and promised to help the other members who were still working on their language skills. Yugyeom promised to hound me until I taught him how to speak English and Youngjae did the same, both promising to come back again soon with better abilities. Bambam made everyone dab with him, said he loved Miami, and invited everyone to join us in Atlanta in two days. We sang one final song and headed backstage to clean up a bit before the P1 and P2 events.

I knew Sharay, TJ, and Daniel would be heading back to the hotel. We were going to be at least another good hour before we got back. After that we would need showers and then I would be introducing them to my English trainers. I had planned on showering first so I could get a jump start on everyone and head over to meet up with Sharay and her family before everyone else arrived.

The Hi-Touch took a little longer than usual as everyone wanted to say something to me in English and hear me say a word or too. My game partner, Maria, was in the P2 group and she again lunged at me and gave me a hug, like we had been friends for years. Security gave her a verbal warning and pulled her off before others decided they could follow suit.

The group photo session went a little smoother, but I was getting a touch restless and wanted to get back to the hotel. I wanted to get back to Sharay. It seemed like the others were anxious to get done as well, but we kept our game faces on until the very end.

Finally, the last photo was taken and we returned to our dressing room. I didn't want to hang out here, but Jackson was talking with Mark, Bambam, and Jinyoung. He was pointing and laughing at me, so I walked over and inquired, "What's so funny?"

"Jackson got Sharay's phone number!" Bambam announced.

"What?" I couldn't believe she would do that. She never spoke on the phone with anyone. Well almost no one. She took calls from her mom and dad, but that was about it. She did text Nate, Hailey, and a couple others, but aside from me, she never willingly spoke on the phone.

"When I went to take a selca with her, I called my phone so I'd have her number." Jackson announced. "I took a selca with my phone as she has a Blackberry, so I'm going to send the photo to her. Tonight I'm going to call her. I think maybe...." And with that he winked at the other boys and strutted around like he'd won the lottery.

"It's sneaky and impolite to get a phone number that way. Also do you know how much that call cost her when you sent it?" I shot back.

"I'll pay her back. No biggy," he said. "You're just jealous cuz you're not on her bias list and I got her phone number!" he continued, not realizing the truth of the first part or the fact that I have lived in the same house with her for over three weeks and had spoken with her just about every day for the past 6 month.

I was torqued. He really riled me up, so I barked, "Just shut up Jackson. You know nothing! Besides, I bet you $100 that she won't pick up if you call."

"I know plenty. I'm on the top of her bias list, so I'll take that bet. You're on," he responded. "I KNOW she'll pick up. We have a special bond."

"Hey," chimed in Yugyeom, trying calm us both down, "She closer to my age than yours old man! You should give me her number. I stand a better chance than you."

Then the rest of the guys started in. Jinyoung was saying he shared a common love for Harry Potter and books, so he'd make the best choice. Youngjae noted that he and Sharay both laughed really loudly, so that had to count for something. Mark claimed his US birth was the clincher and Bambam said that since both he and Sharay looked younger than their ages, he was perfect for her.

I tried to tune them all out because I was getting more and more agitated by the direction this was all going. They each seemed to be taken by Sharay. I mean I knew they would be, but I hadn't anticipated that I would be this jealous or feel so inept in comparison to them. I struggled to stop my lower jaw from jutting out, but I felt like the bull dog I looked like when I did that. I wanted to bit someone. Several someones. actually. Six someone's to be precise.

Mark was commenting about Sharay's ability to speak off the cuff and how great her Korean was. He and the other foreign members were noting that they wished they'd had the same teacher. What a laugh that was. Oh the irony. None of them had listened to me when I'd tried to help them. At least that element of the conversation helped to calm me down somewhat.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I don't think I really was aware of all that transpired after returning to my seat. To say I was a little off kilter would be an understatement. Jaebeom had been kind, possessive, sexy, annoying, reassuring, and so many other things that I couldn't tell how he was going to be when we met up. I was very on edge about seeing him in a private setting.

With all the hugs I got from Jackson, I was in desperate need of another shower and a change of clothes. That boy could really sweat! As I allowed the water to flow over me, I revisited the interactions on the stage. I could only hope that Jaebeom wasn't still angry that I had shared the fact that he wasn't on my bias list and that he still considered me his best friend. I also hoped that the guys would like me and not be angry about the deception that had been played.

I took a blow drier to my wet hair knowing it would never air dry fast enough. Unlike many blondes, I have a ton of hair and it takes forever to dry. Half an hour later and I realized it was taking way too long to get it completely dry, so I finally gave up and I worked it into a Dutch braid at the back. It would have to suffice.

I decided that I would dress in something a little more feminine than usual, so I grabbed a pair of leggings that had a denim pattern printed on them, and for the top, a loose flowing white cotton ¾ length sleeve blouse that came to mid thigh in a dress like fashion. Connected to the white top was a navy blue mesh vest that had a really neat design in the back that was made of copper colored studs. I put on a pair of navy wedges and even snagged a little of my mom's mascara. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't doing this for Jaebeom but for everyone.

I was ready; yet I wasn't. I was so nervous thinking about meeting up with Jaebeom that I couldn't keep still. Finally, I grabbed some yarn and knitting needles and began making seven wrist bands, one for each of the boys. I needed to do something, anything to calm my nerves.

"Dressing up for Jaebeom are you?" teased Daniel, who luckily dodge being speared by a 5 mm knitting needle.

"Shut up, Daniel!" I yelled at him, just as there was a knock at the door.

My insides were flip flopping and my heart was racing.

"Leave your sister alone, Daniel!' my mom warned as she walked calmly towards the door to open it.

As Mom opened the door I stood, dropping my knitting. Jaebeom was standing there with a big smile on his face. He was wearing grey slacks and a form fitting white shirt covered by a white sweater which was open in the front. The shirt and sweater combo really enhanced his broad shoulders. The sleeves of the sweater where pushed up a touch at the forearms and they were tight across his upper arms showing his biceps. My mouth went dry. He gave Mom a hug and exchanged pleasantries with her as if he had all the time in the world. Daniel charged forward yelling "Hyung!" when he all but tackled Jaebeom.

"You've grown!" he said to Daniel.

"No, I haven't," said my little brother, crouching down like he was a few inches shorter. Both laughed.

Then Jaebeom's eyes found mine, and I felt like the room was tilting beneath me.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Before separating into two vehicles for the return ride to the hotel, I announced to everyone that, I had a surprise for them. I shared with them that my English trainers had been at the fan meet and were staying at the same hotel and after we cleaned up, I wanted to introduce them. I also gave the guys a heads up that my trainers would be attending the rest of the tour with us, per JYP's instructions.

As we got to our room, I informed Jackson that I was going to shower first and hurried into the bathroom before he could suggest otherwise.

During my shower I had come to several conclusions. First, I was madly in love with Sharay. No big surprise there. I'd known that for a while. But it finally hit me that I could lose out on her to any of the other members in an instant, if I hesitated. They were on her bias list. I wasn't. They all seemed to adore her, and that was from less than half an hour's interaction on stage. How would they feel once they really got to know her, and how would she feel about them? They were all great guys. Heck. They were the best and had so many things going for them. The more she knew them, the more she would like them. I needed to do something that would make it clear that they had no chance with her. That she was mine and mine alone. As I let the water course over me, I decided to take action. It may be premature, but I had to let Sharay know how I felt.

Though I was deathly afraid of rejection, I decided to take some advice Sharay had once shared with me, namely, "If you don't ask, the answer is still no."

She may turn me down, but at least she'd know how I feel about her. I'd hate to lose her to one of the guys simply because I'd been too much of a coward to speak up. Maybe she would pull away from me. I shook that thought from my mind before it could take root. I was afraid of losing her as a friend, but decided that I just had to take the chance. Being her best friend was great, but I wanted more. I wanted it all. Nothing ventured; nothing gained.

Jackson was lollygagging around when I got out of the shower. He was in no apparent rush to meet my English trainers and was probably emotionally and physically drained from the evening. I, however, was in a hurry to see Sharay. I pulled on a pair of decent grey slacks and a form fitting white shirt and sweater, the sleeves of which I pushed up a little. I wanted to look at least a little decent for what I was about to do.

Once I was dressed and ready, I reached into my bag, pocketing what I retrieved; thankful the sweater hid the object bulging a bit in my right pocket.

"Why're you getting all dressed up?" Jackson asked, looking up from what he'd been doing on his phone, noticing what I was wearing. "I think you've impressed these people enough with the way you spoke English tonight that you could relax and just wear whatever."

"Give me about 45 minutes," I called to him, as I headed out the door ignoring his remark. "I'll text and let you know where we're meeting, okay?"

"Sure. No rush," Jackson said casually. "I need a long shower and some time to think anyway. It was a big night tonight. Maybe I'll call Sharay later. And don't think I'm going to share her number with you, Jaebeom Hyung," he replied with a cocky laugh; a parting shot as I exited the room.

As I closed the door behind me, I softly said, "Sharing is out of the question. I'm going to make sure of that."


	21. Sky Deck Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom botches his confession attempt.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Closing the door on Jackson, I felt nervous energy surge through my body, as I headed to Sharay's hotel room. I found myself in front of her door, adjusted my sweater to make sure it covered the bulging contents of my pocket, took a deep breath, and said a quick prayer for the umpteenth time since I'd decided my course of action, and knocked on the door.

"Jaebeom!" exclaimed TJ, who answered the door and wrapped me in a motherly hug. "I'm so proud of you!"

Daniel charged forward yelling "Hyung!" as he all but tackled me.

"You've grown!" I said, acknowledging Daniel.

"No I haven't," denied my favorite little brother, as he crouched down like he was a few inches shorter. Both of us laughed.

Finally, after exchanging pleasantries with TJ and her son, I allowed myself to make eye contact with Sharay. I thought seeing her on stage made my heart thump. But right now it was beating so hard and fast I was sure Sharay could hear it clear across the room.

Without taking my eyes off Sharay, I asked TJ, "Can I borrow your daughter for a bit? We'll be meeting up with the guys within the hour. I'll call and let you know where."

I heard TJ replay, "Sure. You know I'm a night owl, so don't worry about the time. Just let us know whenever you're ready for us."

"Can I come too? Please?" begged Daniel.

"Daniel, you promised me a game of Fire Boy and Water Girl. You kids head on out," TJ thankfully said, as she focused on me with a look like she'd figured out what was going to go down.

"Sharay?" I asked as she came nearer. I held out my hand for her to hold, but since she didn't reach for it I decided to take charge so, I grabbed her hand and moved towards the door with her in tow.

"Catch you later!" I called and thought I heard TJ quietly say "Good luck."

Walking down the corridor of the hotel holding Sharay's hand, I willed my palms not to sweat. Though she wasn't pulling her hand away, she wasn't exactly holding on to mine either. I pushed away my fears and plunged forward.

"I want to show you something. I hope you'll like it," I offered as an explanation for my behavior. I was pushing it, as I knew she only wanted to hold hands with someone she mutually loved. I hoped my actions would give her yet another hint about how I felt towards her.

Reaching the end of the hallway, I opened the door to the stair well and started climbing from the top floor to the roof. Reluctantly, I let of go Sharay's hand to fish around in my pocket for the key card the manager had given me. As she crossed her arms, I lost the opportunity to reach for her hand again.

Tonight the upper sky deck, with the pool, bar, and beautiful view of the ocean was abandoned. It took a great deal of negotiations, but the place was all ours. As I opened the door and we stepped out into the night, I heard Sharay gasp.

"Wow! This is beautiful." After scanning the roof top area, she turned and asked, "But why's it so empty?"

"This is where we're going to meet the rest of the guys. I wanted someplace that was private and thought the rooms would be too cramped," I offered as a partial truth.

Sharay walked over to the end for a better view of the ocean and leaned against the clear glass railing which was set up to prevent obstructing the view. As she turned to look at me, we both began speaking at the same time.

"I've missed you," we said in unison and both started laughing. "I was so proud of you..." again as if we were thinking the same thing.

"You first," Sharay said and waited for me to proceed.

"I've missed you. Do you know how hard it was not to just grab you and give you a hug on stage? There were a dozen times at least when I was about to smack Jackson for getting overly touchy with you!"

I could hear Sharay snort at this last bit, like she didn't believe me.

Looking out to the ocean, since I didn't trust myself to look at her just yet, not this close, not yet, I offered, "Your Korean. You've been doing more than what we been working on together, haven't you?" I asked more as a statement than a question.

"Do you have any idea how proud I am of you? Your words to Jackson were so on point and I think, for once, they really sunk in. You really hit a cord and I hope he finally knows the truth. He was so peaceful and contented afterwards. During the Hi Touch and the photos he didn't once put himself down and there were quite a few occasions where I expected him to do just that and it never happened. As the leader of GOT7 and Jackson's friend I thank you. As your friend, and knowing you as I do, I wasn't surprised you could perform such a miracle. I've seen you in action before with those little kids in the church nursery, and you've helped me on so many occasions over the months too. I saw you in a totally different light tonight."

Taking a deep breath, I turned and looked at her. Sharay was still looking out to sea, a slight blush on her cheeks. She wasn't very good at taking compliments, as they embarrassed her, so I wasn't surprised when she deflected my comments.

"The one who you should be proud of is yourself. You totally blew the crowd and the rest of the members away when you started speaking English. You didn't misspeak once and, as expected, your accent was flawless. I bet JYP is doing the happy dance right now after seeing the Twitter feed blow up. You know what is the number one searched and tweeted item? Hashtag JB Speaks Fluent English. You really pulled it off. You surprised everyone, except me. I knew you could do it. I thought Jackson was going to lose it and hurt himself he was so excited."

I now understood why she side-stepped my complement to her. Like her, I too was embarrassed by the praise she was throwing my way.

"Couldn't have done it without you and your mom, you know. So let's call this the mutual admiration society and talk about something else, shall we?"

Sharay nodded in full agreement.

Swallowing hard, I opened my mouth to say what was on my mind. To say the things I needed to say, but first I motioned for her to sit next to me on the blue seats nearby.

"Sharay. Tonight on stage, I had the chance to see you side by side with the members. Those guys are the best people I know. They are like brothers to me and I wouldn't have come this far without them. If I lost any of them I would be devastated beyond measure. They are part of who I am, like a leg or an arm." Here I took a deep breath and letting it out I plunged ahead. "Because of that, tonight when you meet them, I, well, I changed my mind. I can't introduce you as my best friend."

As I said these last words, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the royal blue box I had secreted away in there before leaving my room.

"I want to show you something," I said, opening the box and revealing the two rings inside. "I want to give these to the girl who means the world to me."

I fumbled pulling out the smaller of the two rings and continued carefully, "They're more than couples' rings. This one is inscribed inside with L M N O P. Basically, it's asking, well, the song's verse is 'Will you be my lady?'. That's what it stands for. The larger ring has a Q engraved in it, and would be for me if the answer is 'Yes'. So, I was wondering. What do you think?"

I finally gazed up at Sharay and found something I hadn't expected. I thought she would either laugh at me or be happy, but instead she looked devastated. A single tear had pooled in her left eye and when she finally blinked, it slowly trickled down her cheek, dropping onto the ground.

She whipped her head to the side so I couldn't see her face anymore and slowly stood up.

"I'm going to head down and wait with my mom until the other guys are ready, okay?" and without waiting for a response, she started walking towards the exit.

I was frozen in place for a split second. Finally gathering my wits, I took four decisive and strong steps catching up to her and grabbed her wrist.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom was looking down at the rings in his hands. They were beautiful and intricately designed personally by him. The letters inscribed on the inside were clearly meaningful to him and a unique show of his love for the girl he was talking about.

Each ring actually consisted of two rings interlocked one with the other, just like he wanted his relationship with her to be. I was thankful he wasn't looking at me yet, as I never could keep my emotions from showing loud and clear on my face. Even if that weren't the case, that stubborn tear that had broken free and was slowly trailing down my cheek would be a dead giveaway.

I convinced myself that the reason I was so upset was because he had just told me that when he introduced me to the other members for the first time, he would't be telling them I was his best friend after all. At those words, I had felt like I had been kicked in the gut. My chest felt tight and was aching like someone had sprayed it with ice water, and that was even before he started going on about confessing to someone he hadn't even mention once in the past six months since we first met.

Jaebeom finally turned and looked at me. Another tear had formed in my eye and try as I could to prevent it, it stubbornly refused to stay in place and spilled over my lower lid making its way down my cheek. I felt vulnerable and trapped. My flight or fight instincts were kicking in strongly and fighting wasn't an option. I had to get away. I needed space, away from Jaebeom, to wrap my head and heart around what he had just told me.

Apparently, I didn't match up to the rest of the members and didn't merit being a best friend. Okay, I can see that. Who was I to think I could compete with those guys. After just a few games on stage I could see how fabulous they all were. I was no match. Also, I had known Jaebeom for about six months now and not once had I heard him mention a girl he liked.

I wracked my brain to see if I had missed anything and realized almost immediately that it had been there all along. He had not made a grammatical error in his press conference speech about the girl in the photo. He really did mean to talk about a girl he was currently in love with. I had also missed it when he had directly told me he was in love with someone. That had been when we were practicing for his interview with Kim Heechul. I had taken it as a joke. In neither of these cases had I followed up. I was, in short, a pathetic excuse for a best friend. No wonder he didn't want to introduce me that way.

Also with this "Ring Girl", I could see him not wanting a female best friend, even though I rarely looked the part of a girl given the way I tended to dress. And there was no way he would be talking about me. He was, after all the super sexy, talented Im Jaebeom, and I was merely an 18 year-old girl who didn't yet know what she wanted to do in life, well, with the exception of being close to the man who just more than friend-zoned me.

These thoughts flew lightening fast through my brain. As I stood up, trying to escape, I realized I had hoped for something different. All of a sudden, I felt very uncomfortable and conspicuous in my mascara, heels, and girly outfit. I felt exposed and beyond awkward. Fleetingly, I wondered if the mascara I had snagged from my mom was waterproof, but the thought was quickly dispelled by the reality that the tears were going to come so fast and furiously that it wouldn't make much of a difference anyway.

I was jealous. I hated "Ring Girl" as she had the heart of the man I adored. I didn't know who she was and resented that as well. I wondered if Jaebeom had even bothered to mention me to her at all, if she was in on his secret language lessons, so many things. I knew it would take time, but I vowed to be happy for him, after all, ...

Before I could finish that thought I was on my feet and headed toward the stairwell door and away from Jaebeom. My thoughts were all disjointed and they kept jumping from one thing to the next. First things first. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle facing him and the boys later, but was formulating a plan to skip the rest of their shows. I just couldn't...

That's when I felt a strong warm hand encase my wrist and arrest my departure.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

"Sharay?' My voice sounded pleading. Even I could hear the desperation in the syllables as they escaped my lips.

She didn't turn, but her forward movement was temporarily interrupted. I ventured forward, asking, "Are you leaving without answering my question?"

Without turning, I heard her reply in a soft monotone, "You asked a question?"

"Yes," I sighed and waited for a response, but none was forthcoming. So I asked again, "What do you think? About the rings?"

Slowly and carefully, as if she were trying to temper her reply, she offered with a flat affect, "The rings are lovely. Any girl would die to be on the receiving end. Look, I wish you the best with that and all." With those words, she attempted to continue her retreat.

I started feeling angry. I wasn't angry at her, but myself. Had I screwed things up? What did she think of me? How could I read her like a book, and her me, on everything but this? I felt like I was being battered around in the dark on the ocean, the scent of salt air tickling my nose. I knew I couldn't leave things like this. I needed clarity, even if I didn't like the answer. I needed to know what I was dealing with since my imagination was running wild on me. Had Rhett made good on his promise to pursue her relentlessly in my absence? Had he maybe won her over? Or was her encounter with the rest of GOT7, particularly Jackson and Jinyoung, such a strong pull that any hope for me was gone? She couldn't possibly have thought I was talking about someone else, could she?

I was still holding her arm, preventing her departure, so she reached over to remove my grasp on her, as she said, "I'm not sure how else to respond. Why are you asking me a question you should be asking 'Ring Girl'? Why me when I'm no longer your best friend?"

Taking a ragged breath she continued sounding rather trapped, "I have to go. I really hurt right now since you don't want me as a best friend anymore, and the only person I can think of to go to, to console me, is you, and that's not an option right now, so please let me go."

She actually thought I was dumping her as a friend and was giving the rings to someone else? Seriously? She thought so little of herself and how much I valued her. But I still didn't know if she could think of me as other than a friend. I had to know, so I jumped right into the fray, "Can I please be on your bias list"

My questions hung in the air for a spell. When Sharay finally turned to look at me with a stunned expression on her face, she responded by saying, "No. You can never be on my bias list. Why are you so fixated on that stupid list anyway? And why would you want to be demoted from best friend to a bias?"

It was my turn to be taken aback. How was being on her bias list a demotion from best friend? Didn't being on her bias list mean she saw that person as a man rather than just a friend. As these thoughts swirled in my head, I tried desperately to ask the questions that would help me understand.

The first thing that came to my mind was, "How is being on your bias list a demotion?"

"Seriously, Jaebeom. You of all people should know what a bias is," she all but chided me.

"Humor me and tell me what it means to you," I challenged.

"Okay then. A bias is an imaginary character or an idol that you either cannot or will never likely meet. If you do meet, they will remain at a distance and it will never lead to a personal connection. It's someone you admire. That's way lower than a best friend who isn't just a name ON a list but someone who HAS a list of their own with tons of things. There's no comparison. How can you, as an idol, not know this?" she asked with incredulity.

I thought for a second and then replied, "Probably because other than my hyungs and a few other idols, you're the only friend I've had since middle school and, as you said, my contact with others has no real personal connection."

As I said this, I realized I had been focusing on the wrong thing altogether. I'd been hung up on a list that was meaningless. I wanted to kick myself. She'd been telling me for the past six months that I was more important than all the other guys in GOT7, or anyone else on her bias list for that matter.

I really needed to make myself understood, so I offered, "When I said I didn't want to introduce you as my best friend...," I started and backtracked. "What I mean to say is that you are and will always be my best friend. You know that right?"

"I don't know Jaebeom. I haven't been the best 'best friend'. I mean, compared to those guys ....." here there was a pregnant pause before she continued with "and I didn't even ask you about that girl. I should have. I mean you gave me some clues in your press conference speech and when we were working on the questions for Kim Heechul. I'm sorry. I didn't ....."

"No!" I corrected her. "You're the best. Trust me. You didn't miss anything since I was hiding things from you.'

I finally felt she wasn't going to run away on me, but I still didn't let go of her arm. At least I didn't feel her pulling away anymore. Looking at her face, I could tell she was a little relieved, but there was still sadness on her face. My goal was to erase the sadness that was left.

"So we're still best friends?" she asked me in a leery tone. "If so, does that just mean you don't want the guys to know because you're embarrassed of me, or is it because 'Ring Girl' wouldn't appreciate you have a female as a best friend? Or a little of both?"

I shook my head. How could she think so little of herself? Didn't she see what I saw? A girl who was able to handle me from the instant we met, someone who could read all my thoughts, with the exception of my feelings for her. She was someone who pushed me out of my comfort zone and challenged me, encouraged me, and yet gave me the space I needed at times to mull over things. She accepted me for who I was. She loved chicken as much as I did, was great with children, loved books, languages, music, and laughed without reservation when she enjoyed something. She made me a better person. She was loyal to a fault, hard working, and dedicated. I was drawn to her on an intellectual, spiritual, and yes, a physical level. I could drown in her green eyes, and my body craved contact with hers. When she touched me, even if by accident, goose bumps would break out all over my body, my breathing would get ragged and rapid, and I could feel my heart accelerate and pound like wild Mustang hooves stampeding across the ground.

"Before I answer that," I asked needing to know more, "you said I had a list. What kind of things are on that list?"

As she screwed up her face like she was recalling words written on a page, she offered, "There are pages of things. Everything from the obvious like: leader, member of GOT7, singer, dancer, b-boy, composer, showman, actor, loves chicken, crazy cat lady personality, loves books, good at sports, and things like that. It also includes things like: comforting shoulder, calming hands, brooding, perfectionist, funny, aegyo king, as long as it is not mandated of you, loyal, hard working, insecure, hot tempered, impetuous, and so much more. On the top of the list is 'best friends'. All good things. Why?"

I nodded my head but asked for clarification, "So hot tempered, brooding, insecure, perfectionist, and impetuous are good things?"

"Well not on their own,' she stifled a giggle, "but they are part of who you are. I guess I see them more as quirks rather than negatives. Without them, you wouldn't be you."

"I see," I said, getting the gist of what she was saying. I still needed more though and decided to jump in feet first. "What about a man? Do you see me as a man? Is me being a man on the list?"

At this Sharay quickly turned away. "How's that relevant? Do you really want me to answer that when you're holding rings for some girl? If I tell you I see you as a man it would be awkward. If I say I don't, then that ego of yours, which is also on the list by the way, would be bruised. Best to leave that question alone."

"So you won't answer that one. How about this one then? Is there room for more things to be added to the list?"

"Sure," she said confidently and without hesitation.

"Things can be added to the top of the list?" I pushed, knowing it was a loaded question. "Above best friend?"

As I asked this last question, I wrapped my arms around Sharay and held her to me. Neither of us said a word for a full minute, until she pushed back and said, "I think 'Ring Girl' wouldn't understand you hugging me like that, so it probably would be best if you didn't...."

"바보!" I gently chided her. "YOU are 'Ring Girl. Now tell me. Do you see me as a man? Because I definitely see you as a lady." And pulled her in tighter for a hug I didn't ever want to release.

 


	22. Disbelief

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I had just told Sharay that she was "Ring Girl" and asked again for her to tell me if she saw me as a man. Holding her tightly, my emotions vacillated between excitement and fear. What if she rejected me? What if she didn't? What I never imagined was her response.

Sharay started with a quiet giggle and in built up to a full laugh.

"Wow! You are the king of punking someone, Jaebeom! You really had me going there, right up to that last bit. That was too much though. Totally unbelievable," Sharay offered as she pulled away from my embrace. "You really had me on an emotional rollercoaster. You're just lucky I have a great sense of humor. Just about anyone else would be inclined to smack you right about now."

I looked at her incredulously. Did she really think so little of herself that she couldn't believe my words?

Looking her dead in the eye, I said with a voice husky with emotion, "I'm not punking you. I really mean it. Why can't you believe me?"

Shaking her head, she smiled wistfully at me and offered, "You could have anyone you wanted. And I'm just, well, me and you're you."

"So I can have anyone I want?" I clarified.

Sharay nodded her head as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay. So, I can have 'anyone' I want? Good. Then the one I want is YOU!"

As I said this I moved towards her, causing her to back up. Her legs hit the side of the seat that was nearby and she started tipping backwards. I reached to grab her and arrest her descent only to find myself off balance, causing both of use to land on the seat, me on top of her. I was able to brace myself at the last moment so my full weight was supported by my arms.

The expression on Sharay's face was absolute terror. I pushed up and away from her struggling to my feet as quickly as I could, though I had to fight the desire to lean into her instead.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," I mumbled, mortified and concerned by her reaction.

"Scared?" she asked. "Of you? Never. Startled, yes. I know you'd never do anything to harm me."

"Then you should know that I didn't punk you earlier. You cried and I would never have continued a joke that would make you cry," I offered, as I extended my hand to pull her back to her feet.

I must have been furrowing my brow, as I tend to do when concerned, because Sharay reached up with her right hand and with her fingers smoothed the worry lines away. Her fingers remaining on my face and she smiled up at me. Her fingers felt cool, yet I was feeling decidedly warm. Her eyes bore into mine.

"In answer to your question from earlier, there's no one, female or male, over ten who doesn't see you as a man." After saying this she nervously chewed on her lower lip and went to remove her hand from my face.

"You're over ten," I observed as a reached out and gently cupped her face while studying her eyes for assurance that what I was about to do was acceptable.


	23. Q

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I mean talk about cringe worthy. Seriously? Saying there is no one, female or male, over ten who doesn't see him as a man was basically shouting that I thought of him that way. Without realizing it at first, I found myself chewing nervously on my lower lip and slowly it dawned on me that my hand was still touching Jaebeom's face, so I quickly withdrew it.

"You're over ten,' I heard Jaebeom say matter-of-factly, but there was a twinkle in his eye and a devious look crept across his face as he lifted his hands and cupped my face. Slowly he moved closer to me until I could feel his breath on my face. I found it difficult to breathe and, like a doe in the headlights, I was rooted to the spot and couldn't take my eyes from his. I felt trapped, but at the same time I was willing prey.

"Sharay," He said quietly, but with a huskier tone than his normal voice, "I need you to know something. You are my best friend, but my feelings for you are more than that of a friend. You make me a better person, a better man. You have invaded my mind, my heart, my soul, and my body. I respect you, admire you, adore you, and I'm excited by you on so many levels. Those rings, I want to share those with you. I want, no I need, to add so many things to that list, starting with this.." and as he said those words he leaned forward the remaining minute distance and I felt his warm full lips brush gently against mine.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was done dancing around the subject. My body was screaming that it needed her. I reached out for her and when she didn't back away at my close proximity or jerk from the touch of my hands cradling her face, I proceeded to tell her how I felt about her. It wasn't everything, as that could take weeks, months even, but I let her know that she had taken over my heart, soul, body, and mind. As I explained what she meant to me, l Ieaned in a bit further and faintly brushed my lips against hers.

Sharay didn't pull away, but a felt a shudder ripple through her. I could only pray it was the same kind of electrical feeling that I was experiencing, so I dropped one hand and wrapped it around her and pulled her close so that our bodies molded together, while my other hand slipped to the back of her head.

I felt a little light headed as we kissed. Sharay matched my moves as if we had been lovers for years. I could feel her arms come up and snake around my back and pulled closer. When she did this, my body took on a life of its own and responded in kind until there was very little doubt that my desire to melt into her was mutual.

The gentle kiss I began with became more desperate, deeper, and more intense. I felt like a bottle of champagne that had been shaken and was suddenly uncorked and all the emotions and desires were trying to make their escape all at once. And still, Sharay matched my intensity without any indication that I was going beyond her comfort zone.

I willed myself to gain some control and slowly teased her mouth open so I could taste her and draw her fully open. Though I had kissed before, I had never experienced such pleasure and fulfillment, while wanting more at the same time. Finally, I pulled back so I could look at this girl who had captivated me so completely.

Looking at her face, I was in wonder that she was smiling fully despite this unplanned contact. It was then that I had a momentary thought that maybe I wasn't the first one to kiss her. Her kiss had been so perfect, not awkward and bumbling like my first kiss had been.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom's kiss was like nothing I had ever imagined. In fact, I had made sure to never imagine what it would be like to kiss him, but still... He was so gentle and, like when we had danced ballroom together, he lead me through gentle guidance. As he demanded more and held me closer, my body seemed to go into autopilot and appeared to know how to respond instinctively to his promptings. He was everything I could have ever dreamed of...gentle yet clearly desirous of me. He showed how much he was enjoying himself as he pressed his body against mine and I could feel his reaction to our kiss was not limited to our lips and arms.

As our kiss deepened and his need and mine grew stronger, I felt weak and strengthened all at the same time. As he finally pulled back and looked me in the face, I could see he was looking for affirmation that I was alright and not upset by his advances. It was then that I saw a brief cloud of doubt cross his face.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, worried that maybe our kiss hadn't been as pleasurable for him as it had been for me.

"No, everything's fine," he answered, but I could tell it was a partial truth.

"Please," I prompted. "Don't give me half truths. I need to know because I can tell something's bothering you and my imagination will go crazy wondering what it is. Is it because you didn't like it, because I didn't know what I was doing? Or was it something else?"

Jaebeom's face relaxed and then broke in to a huge grin. "Actually, I was wondering if I was your first kiss, because that was so perfect. I wasn't expecting that and so wanted to be your first."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was so glad Sharay could read me so well. If she hadn't spoken up I would have missed out on the joy of the moment, worried that I wasn't her first kiss and tormenting myself wondering who had been close to her like this. My fears and demons were dispelled when she asked if she had done anything wrong because she didn't know what she was doing, giving me a chance to clarify whether I was her first love.

"Can I add 'First Kiss' to that list of mine?" I inquired.

"Yes," she responded simply, with a cute blush forming on her cheeks. "I was worried that you wouldn't like it as much as I did."

At this I threw back my head and let out a hearty laugh. Placing my hands on her hips and pulling her against me, I offered suggestively. "I think you can tell that I liked it very very much."

And at that moment Sharay wrapped her arms around my neck and reach up and kissed me. I rocked back at her unexpected boldness but quickly recovered, pulling her in again and enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

It felt like mere moments passed and at the same time like time was standing still. For some reason I could only imagine that this was the sensation that was experienced when using a time turner like in Harry Potter and I wanted to keep the moment on replay.

I felt like I would never be satiated, but was distracted by the sound of Sharay's phone ringing.

"I wonder if my mom is looking for us," she wondered with a slightly sheepish look on her face. Glancing down at her phone, she shook her head and declined the call. "Wrong number, I guess," she informed me.

Trying to be the more mature of the two, I offered, "We should probably get going, but I want to thank you for earning me $100."

"What'd ya mean?" Sharay asked confused.

"I saw the number that just called. It was Jackson. When he was on stage and had your phone he called himself so he could get your number. As I was leaving the room to get you, he said he was going to call you later. I bet him $100 that you wouldn't answer, since I know how few people you're willing to talk to on the phone, and I know you'll never talk to strangers."

"That was low, Jaebeom. He was at a distinct disadvantage. You better not collect that $100. It was very unfair of you," she chided.

"Hey! He was out of line getting your number in the first place. That was going way too far, and I'd feel that way if he did that with any girl, but even more so because it was you. Actually, his behavior on stage and getting your number prompted me to tell you how I feel. I was worried that you'd be so enamored by him, or Jinyoung, or Mark, or any of them for that matter that I risked letting you know how I feel before I was sure you would accept me. Do you have any idea how afraid I was that you would reject me?"

"Is that why you tap danced through that whole bit about not introducing me as your best friend and being all secretive about the ring girl?" Sharay posed.

"Yes. I was afraid that if I introduced you as merely my best friend that they would see that as me being friend-zone and it would be open season for those love starved pups to come on to you and I would lose out to them."

"Jaebeom, you know there is no competition. That you're the only one I feel like this about, right?"

"I do now," I said as I smiled and reached for her again, but she stayed my advances by placing her hand on my chest.

I felt like I was having a heart attack as her mere touch was like an electric shock and the perception of rejection was killing me until she offered, "I think we need to get back to my mom. I'm not sure I have the strength to say no to you, regardless of what it is."

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

What was with me tonight? All my guards were dropped when with this guy. I not only initiated kissing him, but I relished at the feel of him against me, knowing that I was actually the one to make him respond as he did. But I was really going overboard saying that I didn't think I had the strength to say no to him regardless of what he wanted. It was, however, the truth. He was definitely going to have to be the mature and responsible one here. I was, after all younger by five years and very hedonistic when it came to my response to his touch and kisses. As I thought this, a shudder of pleasure at the thought of being with him rippled through my body.

I heard Jaebeom let out a deep sigh. It sounded a little resigned or maybe exasperated. Looking at his face I thought possibly he was in the same boat.

"I'm struggling with that too. Looks like neither of us can be trusted. Guess we'll need a chaperone at all times." He offered this half jesting, half acknowledging the truth of the situation.

He continued, "Before we go back to your mom, we have a few calls to make. I think you mom had a good feel for what I was planning tonight. Even Daniel had it figured out, if I don't miss my bet. But I did promise your dad that I would let him know if we decided to become a couple."

"What? They knew how you felt and never said anything to me?" I asked a bit indignantly and also a bit chagrinned that I hadn't had a clue when it was apparently so obvious to everyone else.

"Who else knows?" I ventured, feeling a bit of a fool.

"Well, Nate figured it out the first night we met, but at that point it was merely a physical attraction. I hadn't yet grown to love you in all ways."

"Wait! That was just a day after we first met!" I replied, shocked by his admission.

"Well, it didn't take long for you to work your way into my heart. In fact, I would probably say that there was some serious attraction and a strong draw from the moment I saw your eyes and you sassed me back. You know I have a soft spot for stray cats, even when they have an attitude. Your eyes are green like a cat and when you were sleeping in my arms in the car you really reminded me of my cats when they curl up and snuggle against me," he shot back.

"That's low! I sleep really soundly. I didn't mean to cuddle with you like that," I replied, turning red in the face, if the heat I felt was any indication.

Jaebeom laughed and said, "Don't get mad, but I have a confession to make."

I was leery, but asked "What kind of confession?"

"You're right. You do sleep very soundly. So soundly in fact that a guy whose leg was cramping could move you into his arms so he could stretch out fully, only to find himself in a compromising position and unable to sleep because of the girl wrapping her arms and legs around him," he offered a bit sheepishly.

"And you let me think I was the one who initiated that sleeping position?" I asked feigning indignation.

"I was a little worried you might castrate me if you knew the truth. But I'd like to think that now you wouldn't cuz you might have a vested interest in not doing that," he quipped.

We both laughed at that knowing there was truth in both how I would have responded before and in his comment about having a current vested interest.

"Let's call your dad first. Then I have two other calls to make. After that we'll head back down to you room and tell your mom and Daniel and meet up with the kids."

I merely nodded my head, wondering who the recipients of the other two calls were.

"Before that though," Jaebeom said as he reached into his pocket and withdrew the rings he had shown me earlier, "I'd like to make this official."

Taking the smaller ring, he held it up showing me that it was stung on a leather necklace. "I remember that you don't like wearing rings or having metal around your neck. I hope this will do. This ring is the one engraved with L M N O P. All you need to do is give me the Q."

With that he gently lifted my hair and encircled my neck with the necklace and attached ring and fastened it with slightly fumbling fingers. He then held up the other ring which was also on a golden chain.

"I wear so many rings, but I wanted this one to be set apart, so I thought I would wear it around my neck as well, and have it close to my heart. Would you help me put it on?"

Taking the chain and attached ring, I reached up and around his neck. My fingers were just as clumsy as his had been as I clasped it in the back. Letting the ring fall in place, and holding onto my own ring, I was taken into his arms again. I heard him whisper, "Thank you," as he pulled back and kissed my forehead.

 

Standing on tip toes, I kissed the two moles above his left eye and responded, "Q."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I needed to be careful around Sharay. My judgment is clouded and she just basically told me that she wouldn't say no to anything I wanted. Lord would I need strength that I didn't have or really want to muster, so I suggested a chaperone.

As my brain starting clicking again, I realized that we needed to make a few calls. First though, I wanted to formalize things so took out the rings from my pocket. I stumbled through an explanation of why I had her ring on a leather necklace and why I chose a chain for my ring too and then fumbled with clasping hers around her neck

I offered her the ring that was mine and she took it and fastened it around my neck. I was surprised that she seemed as nervous as I was in clasping it. . After Sharay fastened my chain and necklace in place, I pulled her into my arms, knowing that we couldn't put off the calls much longer as we still had to meet up with her mom, brother, and the rest of GOT7.

As I reluctantly pulled away from her, I whispered "Thank You", and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

As I placed my lips against her brow, I couldn't help but marvel that she was willing to accept me. I mean, I came with a lot of baggage, like my temper, all the idol stuff like a busy schedule and screaming female fans who may be hostile towards her, and six kids who were rather on the wild side.

To my delight, Sharay reached up on tip toes and gave me a gentle peck on my two moles and said, "Q." I took a deep breath to still my heart, as that one letter had completely rocked me. It was the confirmation I had hoped for since I had designed and ordered the rings, but one I had not been sure I would ever get.

It was time to get down to business and complete some of the necessary formalities, First, out of respect, I needed to call Sharay's dad. I'd promised to treat her well and that included her family. I also needed to call my parents. I hoped they had already watched the clips I had sent them of me speaking English and Sharay talking Korean to Jackson, as that would help set the stage for breaking the news that I had a non Korean girlfriend.

I also needed to call Park Jin Young PD Nim, as I had promised him that I would give him a heads up before following through on my promise to all Ahgase during the post Awards press conference after the photograph scandal that I wouldn't hide it when the girl I loved also loved me back and we started dating. That was the one I was not as confident about going smoothly.

I started sharing this with Sharay and let her know that I thought her mom and Daniel had already guessed what I had planned when bringing her out of the room. I think she was a little shocked that they had known how I felt. When I let her know Nate had also figured it out when we first met, she was really surprised that I had been interested in her for that long a time.

It was confession time though when I finally told her that I was the one who changed the sleeping positions in the car that first night on the way to her house from the Miami Airport. Though I think she was a little annoyed that I'd let her believe she was the one who had initiated the sleeping position, I also gathered that she forgave me. I doubt she would have been as forgiving at that time though! I ventured a guess that she wouldn't be as likely to castrate me know as she would have been then. Fortunately, she agreed which made me more secure both for my physical safety as well as her interest in me on an emotional and physical level.

"Hi, Sam. Did you get the clips I sent you?" I asked as Sharay's dad answered the phone. "Yes, your wife and daughter really did help me master English and an American accent. And Sharay's Korean was seriously on point as well."

There was a long silence on my end as Sharay waited for me to spring the news on her father, but he was a few steps ahead. "Yes. I was rather irritated at Jackson for making obvious passes at Sharay, but he's just going to have to back off as I just asked your daughter to be my girl and she, fortunately, accepted. When I returned to Fort Myers after the hurricane I told you my intentions were honorable, and I meant it. I wanted to let you know out of respect. Thank you. We appreciate your support. I'll see you then. Goodbye."

I hung up and looked at Sharay. "He gave us his blessing and will do so formally at Christmas, since I'd already made plans to stay with you all for week over Christmas and the New Year."

For this I was awarded with a great big hug and a kiss.

"Seriously? You're coming home at Christmas?" she asked. "I wasn't expecting that."

Releasing her from around my neck, I said, "We'll never get the other calls placed if you do that. You are quite the distraction that I don't want to ignore."

"Sorry," she mumbled, a little chagrined. "Who else do you need to call?"

"My parents and Park Jin Young PD nim."

I saw Sharay noticeably freeze and her face showed a cross between shock and horror.

"Do they know? Your parents, I mean. Will it be okay?" she asked, looking more than a little concerned.

"Well, they have noticed a change in me. They said I was better about calling them and sharing things with them. I did let them know that there was a girl who had stolen my heart and we talked a lot on the phone and I was improving my communication skills because of her. They also said I was mumbling less and I gave you credit for that as well. They also knew that you are the one who reintroduced me to church and helped me grow in my faith; something that has long had bothered my mother about me being an idol and away from her influence. The only thing they don't know is that you're the one who taught me English and that you're American."

Sharay looked concerned, but I reassured her with a kiss on her forehead, "They're going to love you. Trust me."

I placed the call to my parents. Fortunately they had seen the clips I'd sent through and were both impressed with my English as well as the "cute little American girl" who spoke Korean with the same speech patterns as I did. It was then that I shared with them that my English instructor and that cute little girl were one and the same as the girl who had stolen my heart.

I held my breath. We were on video call and Sharay wasn't in the frame. I saw concern and maybe a touch of disappointment flash across the faces of my parents, when my father spoke up and said, "When are you going to introduce us to this young lady?"

"She's with me right now," I offered as I turned the camera of my phone to include Sharay. Sharay had paid attention to the brief instruction I had given her before the call and gave a deep bow to my parents.

"안녕하십니까 (annyeong haseumnikka)," Sharay offered, extending full honorific deference to my parents.

My dad's smile was as brightly as I had ever seen it, as he launched into a greeting letting Sharay know that she could use regular formal speech. No wonder I was such a stickler for honorifics. I came by it naturally from my father with whom I still used honorifics myself.

After her initial shock, my mother seemed to relax, as Sharay had little to no difficulty thanking them for raising such a wonderful son. I could only marvel at how she knew exactly what to say that matched Korean customs honoring my parents by complimenting them for my successes.

The call didn't last long, but it appeared to have gone well when my mom thanked Sharay for helping me with my English as well as the byproduct of our conversations resulting in more calls to them. She also expressed thanks for her words to Jackson, noting that Sharay had probably helped me out as leader by decreasing my workload through bolstering Jackson's own perception of himself. As a parting, my mom thanked Sharay for reintroducing me to my faith.

After hanging up, we both took a deep breath and Sharay and I both let out some nervous laughter.

"Well that seemed to go well," I said. "Now for the toughest one." At that I took a deep breath and dialed the cell phone of our CEO, half hoping he wouldn't answer and half wanting to get it over with in one fell swoop.


	24. Introductions and the Green-Eyed Monster

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Since it was mid-day in Korea, the phone only rang twice before Park Jin Young PD nim answered. It seemed as though he had been waiting for my call, since I had already sent him the links to the video of me speaking English and of Sharay speaking Korean to Jackson.

Before I could get anything out, our ebullient CEO of JYP Entertainment was raving about how well I did and was telling me how the social media feeds were going nuts because of my English. He had already received numerous calls from different variety and music shows requesting I act as MC in upcoming events. I had, apparently, even been offered a regular stint on the After School Club. This was a big deal as even Jackson and Mark had only been offered guest host opportunities and this was a full time position, with built in flexibility for my schedule.

"Tell me that you didn't manipulate the selection of the fans to include Sharay in the mix," was the only concern he voiced.

"No. That was purely random. In fact, it was her brother Daniel's ticket that was selected and he let her go up instead," I assured him.

"That's good to know. I wouldn't want anyone to think the system was rigged."

I could feel the pride he had in me through the phone, but his need to take credit for things showed up as he puffed a bit and said, "So I really know how to pick trainers, don't I? Hey, I have been seriously thinking of asking TJ if she and her daughter would be willing to come to Korea for a year and work with the rest of GOT7 and some of our other groups and trainees. Do you think that might be possible? You know their situation the best."

"Do you want me to ask on your behalf, or do you just want my opinion if it would even be a possibility?" I responded, hoping that this could work out as a long distance relationship with Sharay would be easier if she were in Korea. Then it would only mean we would be apart when we were traveling.

"Play it by ear. I trust you and your decision making skills to make the right choice," he responded.

That was all it took to encourage me to launch into what I really called him about.

"Hyung," I ventured, in a less formal approach hoping to soften him a bit and get him to think like my older brother rather than CEO of my company. "Remember the promise I made to Ahgase during the press conference this past summer? You said you trusted me and I could do what I felt was right when the time came as long as I gave you a heads up. Well, I'm giving you a heads up."

There was dead silence on the other end of the phone.

"Hyung?" I prompted carefully after a few uncomfortable moments. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes, Jaebeom-ah. I heard you. I wish I hadn't. Who is she? Is it Sharay?"

"Yes, it is. I asked her formally tonight to be my girlfriend and already called her dad and my parents. I think her mom already guessed. Is there a problem? Does it being her make a difference?" I asked, not liking where this was going.

"It can be a complication that she's not Korean. At least her behavior on stage at the fan meet was well received, thanks in part to really good translations of what she said to Jackson and his English response which prevented any misunderstandings. The fact that she speaks Korean so well and helped you learn English is a bonus as well, but her being American could cause some people who already have problems with GOT7's international make up to be angered."

"I don't give a crap what they say! It's my life, not theirs," I said indignantly.

"I understand how you feel, but you have to think of the others. Before you announce anything, I ask that you check with them and get unanimous approval for you to take your relationship public. Will you do that?" he countered.

"I don't like it. Not one bit. I made a promise and there were no caveats." I could feel my anger rising. I hated the idea of possibly backtracking on my promise to let my fans know when I started dating.

"Let's do this. Instead of jumping to conclusions, see what the other boys say when you tell them. I gather that you haven't told them yet," he ventured.

"No, I haven't had a chance. It's been less than an hour and I had to make those calls. I was going to call them to join us here and introduce them to my English instructors. I was going to break the news about Sharay to them at that time."

"Okay. Let's assume they will all agree with you. If anyone balks, then we'll address what to do should the time come. In the meantime, congratulations on your new found relationship. Also, I want you to know how very proud I am of you for all your hard work and your fantastic English. I think you may speak it better than I do now," he begrudgingly offered

"Hyung, there is no doubt I speak better than you now!" I shot back with a jab.

"Well I was going to say your speech in general was getting clearer these days, but this conversation was probably your most mumbled mess ever," he said, ending the conversation with an authoritative parting shot. "Make sure you get back with me after speaking to the guys before you do anything."

We said our goodbyes and I turned to Sharay.

"What was with the auctioneer speech? Did you not want me to understand the conversation?" Sharay asked me with a devious twinkle in her eye.

"Something like that," I confessed begrudgingly, but not elaborating any further. I was glad that she did press the subject.

"So what was the verdict? Was he happy with your English or not?" she asked focusing on what she knew would be good news only, not having followed the one-sided sloppy speech of mine. I had, after all, not yet told her that I planned on presenting her as my girlfriend at the LA fanmeet.

"He thinks his English is better than mine," I scoffed. In order to avoid the rest of the conversation's content, I suggested, "Let's call you mom and Daniel and have them come on up. After we break the news to them, I'll get the guys to come. Okay?"

Sharay looked at me askance. "I know you're not telling me everything, but I'll let it slide for now, as you don't do things without a reason. I'll just have to trust you. Do you want me to call Mom or are you going to?"

Instead of a response, I took out my phone and called TJ and gave her instructions on how to get to the roof top location.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I wasn't able to follow all Jaebeom was saying to JYP, but I could tell by his facial expression that things were not all rosy. I knew this had nothing to do with Jaebeom's English, so it must have been something else, like our relationship maybe. I decided to put my concerns aside and trust that he would handle whatever it was that was troubling him and would let me in if need be. I also wasn't going to dwell on the concern I saw flash across his mom's face when she found out I wasn't Korean.

I was, however, very chuffed by his take-charge and manly attitude in calling my mom to let her know how to find us. I really relaxed knowing he was going to take the lead in telling her, just like he had with his parents and my dad. It was reassuring to know that he was proud enough about our relationship that he wasn't shy talking about it or bringing it up. I wondered how he was planning on telling the members though and really shut down any thoughts about his fans finding out. I just didn't want to go there right now, as I wanted enjoy the moment and not worry.

Jaebeom had propped the door open to the roof top deck open so those joining us would be able to just come on up and join us. My mom and Daniel arrived a few minutes after Jaebeom hung up from the call with them.

"Wow!" cried out Daniel. "You have matching rings! Hyung, does this mean we're going to be related soon?"

Daniel was always very observant about things like clothing, hairstyles, jewelry and the like. He was true to form in spotting our necklaces, but he was seriously jumping the gun about us being related soon.

"Yes," Jaebeom affirmed, implying a yes to both the comment about the matching rings and the being related part. "That would be because I asked Sharay to be my girlfriend and, fortunately for my fragile ego, she said yes."

"It's about time. I was wondering when you two would finally figure it out. You both were so oblivious to how the other was feeling, I was wondering if you would every get on the same page," said my mom with a smile, as she reached out and pulled both of us into a hug.

After she released us, Jaebeom bowed to her and said respectfully, "어머니."

Mom just beamed while she said, "I couldn't be happier."

Jaebeom had the biggest smug grin on his face, and I could feel my cheeks aching with all the smiling I was doing as well.

"Let me call the guys and get them up here to meet you all," he offered.

After he hung up with Jinyoung, asking them to come up as I group, I remembered that I had left the gifts I'd made for the boys in our hotel room. I hadn't brought them with me since I hadn't expected Jaebeom would drag me out of the room shortly after me met up.

"I have to quickly run to the room and get some things. I'll be right back," I said as I darted off before anyone could stop me, hoping I would make it back before the boys arrived.

As I closed the door to our hotel room behind me, I head the loud and boisterous voice of Jackson call out, "Hey, guys! Look! It's my game partner Sharay."

Not sure what I was supposed to do in this situation, I turned and offered a big smile.

"I thought this floor was reserved for us and Jaebeom's instructors," said Jinyoung, basically thinking out loud.

"We're heading up to meet Jaebeom and his English instructors," announced Jackson as he wrapped his left arm around my shoulder and started shepherding me towards the stairwell leading to the upper deck. "Come with us. Jaebeom will be amazed."

Under his breath I heard him say, "And this is definitely better than a phone call."

Bambam and Yugyeom were tussling at the back of the group with Youngjae laughing at apparently the air. Mark was quietly walking to the left of Jinyoung and I was sandwiched between the other half of JJ Project and the Hong Kong representative, who hadn't stopped talking since we met up.

As we reached the upper deck, Jackson blew open the door, all but shouting, "Look who I found Jaebeom! Guess that $100 is mine!"

Jackson had his left arm firmly around me and was "speaking" with his right hand. His body was pressed closely against my side and as I looked up at Jaebeom I saw storm clouds building on his face.

We were about five feet from Jaebeom, as he had closed the gap with several long strides, when I heard a growl escape him. The guttural sound began deep in his chest long before he emitted the "Yah!" and reached out with his left arm and grabbed Jackson by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him up to where the younger was forced to stand almost on his toes to avoid being strangled. In the same moment, Jaebeom all but tore me from Jackson's hold and dragged me to his right side and slightly behind him. As if in a protective posture, Jaebeom positioned himself basically between me and Jackson.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Sharay wasn't back from her room yet. She had been so fast that I couldn't stop her departure in time and now I was left worrying that she would run into the guys in the hall. I was getting antsy.

I heard Jackson before I saw them coming through the door and already knew that he had met up with Sharay. I could feel the tension in my jaw, as I started grinding my teeth. As they burst through the door, in typical Jackson fashion, my worst nightmare faced me.

Jackson was basically wrapped around Sharay. His body language implied an intimacy that I'd only recently achieved myself and my temper escalated. I'd never experienced jealousy before and this sensation was new to me and very unpleasant.

I couldn't arrest my forward motion as I reached out with my left hand. Though I was aiming for his throat, he dodged just at the last moment, so I ended up grabbing the neckline of his shirt and proceeded to hoist him in the air. My slight height advantage, arm length, and strength, enhanced by my fury, afforded me some extra leverage and I fairly lifted Jackson off the ground. In the same breath I ripped Sharay from his side and safeguarded her behind me.

It wasn't until I felt a slight pain in my throat that I realized I was growling and yelling "Yah!" at my younger team mate. I could feel my jaw jutting out and my neck muscles tensing.

Time seemed to go in slow motion. As I first spotted Jackson with Sharay, I could see our Maknae twins in the back go wide-eyed. They had harassed me enough in the past years that they were quick to spot when my temper was flaring and were adept at side stepping my responses. Shortly afterwards, the laughing and humming of our living sunshine, Youngjae, came to an abrupt stop. In my periphery, I saw Jinyoung and Mark exchange worried glances and step in to intercept me, though they were too slow.

I could hear Jackson gasping for breath, but it wasn't registering. It wasn't until Sharay maneuvered to my left side and placed her hand on my left arm and softly and quietly spoke into my left ear saying, "Jaebeom-ah Jaebal, Hajima!" that I released Jackson's shirt and he crumpled to the floor sputtering.

Mark went to Jackson's side to check on him, and Jinyoung glared at me saying, "What the hell, Im Jaebeom!"

Sharay was still holding my arm. She quietly said, "We need to talk." It was soft enough that I was the only one to hear her words. Words which clearly precluded saying no.

As she said this she lead me by the arm to the far end of the roof top deck, out of ear shot and view of the others.

I was still shaking in fury, as Sharay sat me down on one of the seats. She squatted in front of me so she could look me square in the face.

As she spoke, my heart sank. Had I screwed things up already? Why did she look so disappointed in me? I was still furious. It hadn't helped that the first time she had ever said my name without honorifics was in a sentence pleading for me to let go of Jackson. I was feeling the tension in my jaw again, realizing that that moment was forever lost. She hadn't called me Jaebeom-ah out of love, but rather in protection of another man. Suddenly I felt exhaustion take over and, like it or not, with it the anger dissipated a bit.

"This isn't going to work Jaebeom," Sharay was saying. "I can't deal with jealousy or whatever the heck that was."

"What do ya mean?" I asked, afraid of the answer. "You mean you don't want to be my girlfriend or what?"

"I mean that I don't want to be in a relationship that's not built on trust."

"I'm not following," I responded, confused by the turn of events.

"You were jealous, right?

"Of course I was jealous! Who wouldn't be. He was all over you and acting like your boyfriend. It's only natural to be jealous."

I heard Sharay sigh. It sounded sad and like she was hurting. Why was she hurting? She was the one he was molesting. I wasn't the one with some other girl. I had every right to be upset. Or did I? I couldn't figure out what she was getting at, so I ventured forth and asked for clarification.

"Apparently I'm missing something. Please. I want this to work. What can I do?"

That's when Sharay, the innocent girl who had never dated, the one who shared her first kiss with me less than an hour before, spoke words of wisdom I would never forget and would change my thinking forever and for the better.

"Jaebeom. Why were you jealous?" she started with the basics.

"Because Jackson was making moves on you," I said, like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"No. You were jealous, not because of what Jackson did, but because you were afraid of how I would react and respond to him. Basically, it means you don't trust me. You don't really believe that I care for you and only you. That's not a good place to be in a relationship. It means that I've failed in giving you what you need to have confidence in how important you are to me. I'm sorry. It's my fault. If you trusted me; if you had confidence in our relationship, the actions of any other person wouldn't cause you to worry. You would be confident and assured, knowing that nothing could sway me. It's my fault that you don't have that sense of security. What can I do to help you really believe that nothing and no one could change how I feel about you?"

I was stunned. She was blaming herself. Here I was focused on Jackson and she saw this in a totally different light. She was right, in one sense. It wasn't about Jackson. But it wasn't a lack of confidence in her either. It was a lack of confidence in myself.

"It's not that I don't trust you. I just don't feel confident that I can be enough for you. I worry that someone else better might come along because I'm not even sure how I got lucky enough for you to say you would be my girl in the first place. I feel like I won the prize and any moment someone is going to realize they made a mistake and are going to take it back," I said, baring my soul and sharing my most vulnerable insecurities and fears with her.

"Seriously?" Sharay asked. "You're the idol. The one with hundreds of thousands of girls swarming around you while throwing themselves at you and basically begging to have your baby! You're on stage doing hip thrusts and body rolls, licking your lips and giving lascivious looks to the camera, and I'm an 18 year old who's average looking at best, with no real future plans. But, if I focus on the other girls or myself, rather than trust what you tell me, then I would turn into a basket case really fast. I would be worrying ever time you were out of eyesight. I don't want to live that way. I can't live that way, so I choose to believe you, no matter how absurd it seems on the face of things that you would like me."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. She was right. I was worried that she would move on to someone "better". Whether that was because I didn't trust her or didn't see the value she ascribed to me didn't matter. What matter was that feeling of insecurity that could rip apart and destroy any relationship regardless of how true and strong the love was. Trust was absolutely necessary. And like faith, trust was something you have to believe in even when you couldn't see it or prove it. It was a choice. It was a heart thing.

I bowed my head and started to cry. I just hope I hadn't blown it to the point that I couldn't recover.

"Please," I all but begged. "Please. Give me a chance to shift my focus. I can, I want and need to do this. I can't lose you to my own stupidity and insecurities."

I felt her arms serpentine around me. She gently stroked my head with one hand and held me with the other. In that moment, I felt deep in my core that I would never have to worry about anyone coming between us unless it was me, and she was trusting me not to do that. As I gulped for air, new to all these emotions, I lifted my head and looked into her eyes. The look Sharay was giving me erased all the concerns I had before and I felt a laugh of relief trying to make its way out.

Reflecting on the scene of Sharay and Jackson, I had complete peace and saw the absurdity of my response. Even when I tried, I couldn't conjure up a single drop of jealousy. I knew that this sense of peace I had could only mean that the belief I had before was lie based. I know knew the truth; that Sharay would never waiver or change and I had no need to fear any man coming between us. It felt real and true.

As I pulled Sharay into a hug, I whispered to her the words I had been afraid to say before out of fear of rejection, but which I now knew would be accepted and believed. "Saranghae."

Though earlier I had felt nothing but pure lust and ardor holding Sharay this closely, I now felt an emotion that was even deeper. It didn't need consummation, though I wouldn't have balked at the prospect, as it was complete in and of itself. Just a pure feeling of agape, unconditional, love.

After a few moments, I pulled back and looked Sharay in the eyes. "Will you forgive me?"

"Always. But you know what you need to do right now don't you?" she prompted me.

"Yeah. I gotta make things right with Jackson and the others. Can you give me a minute?" I asked.

"Take all the time you need. I'll wait here. Send my mom and brother over here, while you talk with them, would you?" Sharay clarified.

"Sure."

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jealousy wasn't something I'd ever been a part of. My parents weren't the "jealous types" and neither was I. I guess somewhere along the line I'd learned it was all based on lies and insecurities. If both parties had trust in one another there was no need for jealousy.

As I saw Jaebeom's response to Jackson, all I could think was that I had must have given him cause to doubt me; that I had failed him in this area somehow. I saw how hurt and afraid he was and how his response was to take it out on one of his closest friends. I felt like I was responsible somehow for driving a wedge between them and hurting Jaebeom. I would rather lose him than make him feel that way or cause a rift.

Reaching for his arm to stop him from hurting Jackson, and by extension himself, I tried to get his attention. "Jaebeom-ah. Jaebal. Hajimah," I pleaded, using informal language to shock him into listening to my words.

Once he release Jackson, and I could see my former game partner was merely rattled but would suffer no lasting physical harm, I said to Jaebeom, "We need to talk." Holding his arm still, I lead him to the far corner of the upper deck. He followed without complaint.

"This isn't going to work Jaebeom," I told him. "I can't deal with jealousy or whatever the heck that was." It ached to say this, but letting him go would be better than the alternative of a destroyed friendship and living with a lifetime of distrust.

"What do ya mean? You mean you don't want to be my girlfriend or what?" he responded, sounding shocked and hurt like a wounded animal.

"I mean that I don't want to be in a relationship that's not built on trust," I clarified.

His response was layered with confusion. He didn't understand the significance or even what he had done wrong.

"Of course I was jealous! Who wouldn't be? He was all over you and acting like your boyfriend. It's only natural to be jealous," he said, his voice getting tight with barely constrained emotion.

Though not fully understanding why, he did seem to grasp that he was missing something and said as much. Maybe, just maybe, if he understood why jealousy wasn't a show of love, but rather was destructive and could unhinge even the deepest of love; maybe then this could work.

I took a deep breath and tried as best I could to explain. I started by sharing that his anger wasn't focused on Jackson, rather that it signified that it was me he didn't trust because I hadn't adequately given him a reason to believe in me and my feelings for him.

It took a while, but recognition of the truth finally dawned on him when I reversed the roles and showed how destructive, clingy, and negative a relationship would be if there was no trust. He seemed to really connect with the idea that trust in one another was something that had to come by faith and could never be proven. It needed to be believed. It was a choice; a decision and a heart thing.

You know someone sees the truth about a situation when they have peace even when the circumstances don't warrant them. I saw this transformation in Jaebeom and knew it was real when he asked for my forgiveness and another chance; when he sobbed, acknowledging without prompting, that he knew he had taken out on Jackson those things that were his own issue, and when he decided on his own accord that he needed to make things right with his friends, his brothers.

The moment when I consoled him I felt even closer to him than ever before, even more so than when we had been in a heated and arduous embrace. It was a feeling of real and unshakable love. When he said "Saranghae" to me, I really believed he meant it with all his heart. I felt loved in a way that would be able to get through any hurdles thrown our way. One where we could offer each other grace. Where there was no need to "earn points' or prove ourselves. A love that trusted and would grow.

As I watch Jaebeom head back to the others to make amends, I waited for my mom and brother to join me. I hoped giving the boys some privacy would allow them to undo any of the damage that may have been caused.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

My feet felt like lead as I walked back to the others. Fortunately TJ was very intuitive and once I was in earshot said, "We'll give you a few moments," as she dragged Daniel from his new buddies and headed over to where Sharay was waiting.

I dragged my eyes from the ground and rested them on the faces of my group members.

"What the HELL!" began Mark. Though he was usually the quietest member, he seemed like he had a lot to say.

"What in the blue blazes where you thinking? How could you ....?" His voice trailed off as his words failed him. He turned to Jinyoung as if to urge him to voice his thoughts and those of the rest.

Jinyoung was looking at me with such disappointment. I could feel my heart clench at the thought of disappointing these guys. As if on autopilot, I bowed to 90 degrees and said, "죄송합니다" hoping that my formal apology would carry the depth of my regret for my actions.

Standing back up, I turned to Jackson. I looked at him sheepishly. He looked hurt, confused, and a bit angry all rolled into one. I took a step in his direction and he visibly flinched and backed up, apparently still traumatized by my earlier assault.

There was nothing I could do except drop to my knees in front of him and bow down. In hindsight I guess there had been an audible gasp from the others at my action, but at the time I was focused on only Jackson and doing whatever I could to undo the damage I had done to our relationship.

"죄송합니다," I said again. Sitting up, I briefly took in that the others were standing there with mouths agape. This wasn't surprising as none of them had ever seen me prostrate myself in such a humble way before. Even the maknaes weren't jesting. They could obviously feel the tension in the air. I know I could feel it.

I looked up at Jackson and again offered, "죄송합니다. My actions are unforgivable. I had no right to react like that. You did nothing wrong. You were just being your regular happy go lucky and amiable self. I was jealous. I was insecure because...." Here I paused as I saw confusion flash across Jackson's face.

Taking a deep breath, I continued. "Thank you. Thank you all. I didn't have the courage to ask Sharay to be my girl until tonight. I was worried that if I didn't speak up I would lose her. I wasn't on her bias list and you all are. You are the best guys I ever met. You are my brothers. I saw no reason why she wouldn't fall for any one of you, but I, I, love her, so I took a chance and asked her to be mine."

I paused again both to take a breath and to collect my thoughts. "Though she said yes to my confession, it hadn't really sunk in and I was still doubting my standing. I was worried she would be swayed upon meeting you all. Especially you, Jackson. So when I saw you together, my insecurities boiled over into jealous. That doesn't excuse my behavior. And I'm not asking for forgiveness as I don't think I deserve it. I just want you to know how much I regret my actions. I wish I could turn back time and undo what I did."

"Just what did Sharay say to you over there?" asked Jackson, finally. He seemed very matter of fact and curious without any hint of anger of fear. "She spoke truth to you didn't she? Just like she did with me. I'm right. Aren't I?" This last part he said as if he fully understood me.

I was face down, again repeating my apologies, when I felt Jackson crouch down beside me and put his arms around me.

"I know how you feel, Hyung. The emotions from before felt so real, but they were based on lies. Now you know it. That girl is special if she can make me feel confident and tame your temper. And when I say tame, I don't mean that in an emasculating way. You've never acted less like a leader than you did earlier, and you've never been a better leader than you are right now. It takes strength to admit you were wrong and, whether you want it or not, I forgive you. Now would you stand up because my legs are hurting crouching down like this and yours are probably killing you from kneeling and we need to dance the day after tomorrow?"

I looked up at Jackson and returned his hug. I could only hope the others would be half as forgiving.

With trepidation I stood and turned to the other five guys hoping to see my words and actions had been seen as sincere.

"Glad you admitted you were wrong. You're lucky Jackson is a forgiving soul. I'm not sure you would have been so lucky if it had been me, but he's right. You really looked like a very strong leader, at least just now. It takes a lot to do what you did," Admitted Jinyoung as he nodded his head a bit and pursed his lips, sucking them in like he did when he was agreeing with someone, before giving me a side hug.

"What he said," offered Mark as he thumped me on the back.

Youngjae's smile returned and he let out a deep laugh before commenting, "Well this has been an interesting night. Don't think we'll ever forget it."

Bambam and Yugyeom were still standing somewhat to the back, Looking at each other to see who would go first. Bambam, with his love for trendy expressions chimed in, "Well you sure are whipped!"

"Um, Bambam," I offered. "That's not a really nice expression. It has a second part to the expression and it is has a really crass sexual innuendo."

"Oops!" he said rather flustered. "I didn't know that. How did you know that, hyung?"

"Part of the reason for me learning English was to make sure none of us got into trouble using expressions that didn't seem bad on the face of things but which had negative connotations in colloquial settings. That would be one of them. I'll explain it to you more later, but for now, let's just avoid that one okay?"

Bambam nodded, accepting the rebuke as Yugyeom just laughed at him. "Glad you said it and not me!" the giant maknae jested, as he shoved the slightly older but physically less impressive Bambam farther than he had anticipated.

Jackson had been watching the interplay and apparently deemed all was well, so he asked the obvious question. "Jaebeom-hyung. When are you breaking the news to the Ahgase that you're dating? Will it be at the fan meet in two days in Atlanta? After all, you said you wouldn't keep it a secret when you started dating, right?"


	25. Catch 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom has to decide between the boys and his promise to the fans. Sharay comes up with a plan B.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Jackson's question hung in the air and was followed by a long silence. "Jaebeom-hyung. When are you breaking the news to the Ahgase that you're dating? Will it be at the fan meet in two days in Atlanta? After all, you said you wouldn't keep it a secret when you started dating, right?"

I had only one way to successfully resolve things. I had to have all the guys agree to allow me to announce that I was dating. Failing that I would be faced with a serious "Catch 22": I could break my promise I had made to the fans or I could go against the wishes of the members. Both options left me feeling empty and hollow.

How had I found myself in such an untenable situation? Failing to get their unanimous assent would undermine my leadership and potentially start the slow but inevitable destruction of GOT7; the difference is that one would be from the outside and the other from within.

I took a deep breath, said a silent prayer for God to give me the words I needed, and opened my mouth to speak.

"Seems like today is my day to apologize for many things," I began. "I should never have made that promise without consulting with all of you first, since the ramifications could be huge and probably not good."

I figured there was no sense in trying to sugar coat things, so I decided to go with the straight forward approach.

"Park Jin Young said he would back whatever decision I made, but he suggested that less than unanimous agreement from you all could be disastrous. I know we normally go by what the majority says, but this is bigger than just what we're going to eat or the order in which we will perform songs."

"Hyung," piped up Bambam. "This could be a big scandal. We're only just earning popularity in Korea because of those of us who are foreigners having made it difficult at the beginning. How's you having a girlfriend, much less and American girlfriend, going to play with the fans?"

Yugyeom hushed Bambam, but I had to admit that his question had merit. "Fair question. I'm not sure. I would be lying if I said everything would go well. Our relationship and Sharay may not be accepted. If you have any questions, ask me now and I'll do my best to answer. It might help you make your decision."

"Are you really serious about this girl? I mean, is she worth losing it all? Are you planning on marring her someday or is this just hormonal?" asked Mark who was blunt and to the point.

"Yeah, that would be an important thing to clarify. It's real. She's my best friend. She makes me a better person. Not only did she help me with my English, but other than my really inappropriate and uncalled-for outburst a bit ago, she has helped me with my temper. I'd like to think you all recognized that over the last few months. She's been my sounding board for issues and she's inspired me in my work. I've never felt I needed someone, but instead of completing me she just makes me want to be a better me. I can't imagine life without her. We've done the long distance relationship thing, albeit as friends, and that friendship only grew stronger. She's willing to put up with all my crap and knows that you guys, music, dancing, and the fans are nonnegotiable in my life. I love her with all my heart and soul and was so happy when she said she would date me. Since she only just agreed to that, I haven't broached marriage with her yet, but it has been on my mind. I've introduced her to my parents on the phone even. Is it hormonal? You bet there's some of that, but that just a bonus that we've only recently acknowledged. Did you know I'm the only guy she's ever kissed?"

I'd been rambling. I couldn't help it. Summing up how I felt about Sharay in a simple yes or no wouldn't do her justice. As I mentioned our first kiss, I could hear Jackson suck in a deep breath. I dared not look to see what expression accompanied it, but wasn't surprised when he cleared his throat to speak.

"Well, I've forgiven you for what happened earlier, so taking that off the table, I will say that you have been way calmer and more focused than ever these past few months. Also, you know I'm a romantic at heart and a sucker for true love. As one of the foreign members who I believe held us back a bit, far be it from me to shy away from the challenge of introducing Sharay just because she is an American as well as your girlfriend. You got my vote."

"Thanks, Jackson. Before you all speak up though. I'd like to focus on questions. I think it is only fair that you guys get a chance to talk about this and vote in my absence. Frankly, in the event it isn't unanimously in favor of me telling the Ahgase, I'd rather not know who voted which way. Having to disclose your vote might make you feel pressured one way or the other."

I scanned the faces of my best and closes friends in the world. I wasn't able to discern from their expressions how this would go. I returned to Mark and clarified, "Did I answer your question fully?"

In response he nodded and didn't follow up with anything else.

"Okay," I finally said. "If you don't have any other questions, I'm going to be over there with Sharay. Take whatever time you need and let me know what you decide."

As I moved away, Jinyoung piped up, "If we don't agree to it, you'll have to choose between doing what we ask and keeping your promise to the fans. Are you prepared to do one or the other of those?"

I turned slowly and looked him in the eye. "I'm obviously hoping things won't get to that point, but let's just say I'll cross that bridge if we get there. Who knows. Maybe a third option exists that I haven't thought of. It's one of the things I want to talk about with Sharay."

And with a heavy heart, not seeing any third choice, I turned towards Sharay hoping she might see something obvious that I had missed.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom returned looking like he was carrying the weight of the world. I wasn't sure why. Though I couldn't hear their conversation, I saw him get on his knees and saw his total repentance and the forgiveness that followed from the guys. For some reason though, he had started another conversation that had left him somber.

"I trust Jackson and the others forgave you from their response to you," I stated rather than asked.

"Yes," came his terse response. His jaw was set and his brow furrowed in thought.

Jaebeom approached me and wrapped his arms around me resting his forehead on mine. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world.

"I need your help," he finally offered. "My promise to tell the fans when I was dating was heartfelt, and I think a good idea, but I made it without consulting the others or taking into consideration how it could negatively impact them individually or the group as a whole. When I spoke with Park Jin Young earlier, he called this to my attention. Right now the guys are voting on whether they want me to announce that I am dating or not. It needs to be unanimous for me to do it, because this is such a huge thing. If they don't agree, I'll be left with the choice of either breaking my promise to the fans or going against the wishes of the members."

His words were strong, but I could tell the choice he might be facing was weighing heavily on him.

"So basically you're dealing with a Sophie's Choice situation," I said, understanding the seriousness of the situation. "Either choice could have very serious consequences."

Looking into Jaebeom's eyes, I knew I didn't need to spell them out. He already knew the full impact either would have on his future, leadership status, everything he held dear. His relationship with the guys could be irreparably damaged with one option and the fans could turn against him and the whole group with the other. What he needed was either for them to agree or for a third option that hadn't been thought about.

Instead of just wishful thinking and hoping for everything to go smoothly, I said, "Give me a minute. Let's see if there's a third approach that we haven't considered yet."

With that, Jaebeom wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled my head to his chest. I could hear and feel him take a deep breath and exhale, as he said, "I was hoping you would help me think of something."

Standing like that I evaluated the situation as analytically as I could and attempted to separate myself from the emotions and concerns facing my recently acknowledged boyfriend.

I tackled the situation as if I were Sherlock Holmes. First I looked at the problems. The guys and the group could be seriously impacted by the news of Jaebeom dating. It wasn't lost on me that being an American added an additional level to the situation. On the other hand, not following through with his promise to tell the Ahgase when he started dating, would be a breach of trust with them and when, not if, they found out about it, the repercussions would be ten times worse that if he were to have dated in secret and been found out without having made the promise.

As I thought these things, one solution kept coming to mind. I tried not to let it take root. It was too painful to consider. It was an option I didn't want and as long as my mind went there, I couldn't see anything else. Finally, after a good ten minutes, I pulled back and looked Jaebeom in the eyes.

I saw myself reflected in the dark pools that were his beautiful brown eyes. I marveled that he loved me and would even consider placing himself in this precarious position because of me. It was that which gave me the courage to voice the third option I had come up with."

"There is a third option,' I ventured, biting my lip and closing my eyes in an effort to will my eyes to remain from tearing up.

As I opened my mouth to continue, I saw realization of where I was going dawn in Jaebeom's eyes. He reached for his necklace that held the ring, the companion of which I was wearing.

"No!" he cried out. "That is NOT a third option. Not a viable one any way."

I felt as if I were having an out of body experience. I felt a numbness settle over me keeping the pain of what I was about to suggest at bay.

"It's the only solution. You wouldn't have to lie and you wouldn't have to go against the wishes of the guys. We could just turn back the clock a couple of hours and pretend that it never happened. This is the only way Jaebeom. You can't choose between the other two. It would destroy you. Maybe not immediately, but over time you would always second guess your decision. Eventually that would tear us apart and then you would come to hate me, to hate us, because you would have chosen a relationship that can't survive something like that over your fans and the members. It would be selfish of me to force you to make either of those choices."

"No!" he said again, but this time in a whisper, hearing and accepting the truth of what I was saying. "There has to be another way. There has to be. I can't lose you."

"You can't lose me," I assured him. "I may not have said it before in so many words, but I love you Jaebeom-ah. And nothing will change that. If this is real, then this won't break that connection. It will still be there when, and if, the time comes that it would work."

I made the mistake of looking into Jaebeom's eyes and saw the despair there and the same feeling surfaced in me, bubbling up from that safe place of numbness I had built up as self protection.

I reached around my neck and started to unclasp the necklace, but Jaebeom arrested the process. "Wait. They haven't made their decision yet."

I nodded meekly and put my hands down to my side. They felt like lead weights dragging down my arms. I felt him reach out and grab my hand and hold it like a drowning man grabbing onto a life preserver. And we waited for the decision that would determine what was going to happen.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I had been hoping Sharay would come up with a third option, but when she did, it didn't bring relief; only more grief. I could see the logic of what she offered, but my whole being, down to the cellular level, rebelled at the prospect of erasing the last few hours and reversing time to when we were merely friends. My mind was screaming for another solution, but nothing came. She was right that the other two choices would undermine our relationship over time and, in addition, I would either break my promise to the fans or destroy the trust I had with the guys. But that didn't mean I had to like it. She said to do otherwise would be selfish, but I wanted to be selfish.

The only consolation was that they guys might still agree to let me announce that I was dating Sharay. Aside from that was the very hollow consolation that our love would still be there, just out of grasp for an undetermined and possibly permanent time frame. Had I thought things through clearly I would have obtained permission from the members before making my promise, or I might have refrained from asking Sharay to be my girl in the first place. Wouldn't that have been easier than having it ripped away? Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, obviously had no idea what they were talking about.

I took in the feel of my arms wrapped around Sharay and the heat of her hands on my back and the sensation of her head resting on my chest. I inhaled the sweet fragrance of her apple and vanilla scented shampoo, wondering if this was the last time I would be able to hold her like this. As these thoughts raced through my mind, I could feel my heart cramp and ache. When she told me she loved me and called me Jaebeom-ah, I felt my heart shatter at the prospect of losing her.

Though we stayed like that for easily 15 minutes, it wasn't long before the guys approached. I separated from Sharay, but held her hand firmly. Looking at the ever smiling and sunny Youngjae's still and masked face, I knew the decision before it was spoken. He and all the others telegraphed the fact that I would have to make a choice. What they didn't know was that Sharay was planning on invoking a nuclear option; at least it felt like a nuclear option to me.

Jinyoung, apparently, had been made the reluctant spokes person. He stepped forward, unable to meet my eyes. "Jaebeom hyung, I'm sorry. You're gonna have to choose between the two. Us or the Ahgase. We just couldn't come to a unanimous decision."

As he finished his sentence, I felt Sharay reach down to my hand that was holding hers and push it off. I resisted, but knew it would be futile. Her mind was made up. As she freed her hand, she silently reached around the back of her neck and undid the clasp to the necklace. Pooling the leather strap and the ring in her one palm, she reached for one of my hands. Initially I tried to pull away.

"Please," she pleaded, with tears pooling in her eyes. "Don't make this any harder than it already is. You know this is the only way."

Finally, I reluctantly gave her my hand. I could feel the cold ring and leather strap coiling into my palm, but I didn't look down. I couldn't tear my eyes from her face.

"I love you Jaebeom. This doesn't change that. Nothing will. But I won't stand in the way of your dreams and I will not come between you and the other members or your fans. I'd never ask that of you. I love you for who you are and I cannot be a party to destroying that."

And with that she turned to her mother, who had been quietly and patiently observing all that had transpired and said, voice layered in pain, "Mom. Can we head home tonight? I just really need to.... I mean, I don't think going to Altanta..."

"Whatever you want," I heard TJ say with as much comfort as her words could engender.

And with that, Sharay ran to the stairway door and out of sight.

I dropped to my knees, feeling as though the whole world had crashed down on me. I heard a loud keening noise as I rocked back and forth, not realizing at first that the noise was coming from me.

Faintly, I registered that Daniel was berating the guys, calling them just about every name in the book. TJ was restraining him. Through my tears, I was vaguely aware that the guys were taken aback, not having anticipated the possibility of Sharay's option number three. Then my body finally reacted. I had to get to Sharay. She couldn't be alone at a time like this. I was still her best friend and I needed to be there for her.

I stood up unsteadily and made to move towards the stairwell door, when six pairs of hands arrested my progress.


	26. A Later Night Run

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Deep down I had truly believed the guys would agree to let me announce that I was dating. I guess I really hadn't envisioned otherwise. I'd reluctantly seen the logic behind Sharay's third option, but I guess it never really sunk in that it would be needed until Jinyoung's announcement.

As I turned and saw the stairwell door closing behind Sharay, the reality of what just happened finally set in. Finally my body was reanimated. Instead of the stupor in which I had found myself, allowing Sharay to place her ring and necklace in my hand and watch her dart off, my body was in full reaction mode. I needed to get to her. We needed to find another solution. I just couldn't accept this option or the ones of breaking my promise to the fans or breaching the trust of my best friends.

I stumbled as I struggled to my feet, attempting to follow Sharay. That's when I felt 6 pairs of strong hands holding me in place.

"Jaebeom, wait!" Mark was saying, though it sounded far off.

"No!" I heard myself say in a thick strangled cry. "She's still my best friend and she's hurting. I have to get to her. She can't be alone. Not now. There has to be another way."

"Jaebeom-ah," I heard Jinyoung say with softest of voices and a familiarity he only every used when we were alone. "You need to listen. We made a mistake. Some of us were still upset about how you reacted to Jackson, and wanted you to feel the burden of being leader by having to make a choice, but we were always going to back you. No matter the consequences. Don't you know us better than to think we would really put you in pain like this?"

I looked at the member I had known the longest; the one I most thought of as a brother, my male soul mate. I heard the words but was slow to understand their meaning. I shook my head trying to get the feeling of wet cotton out of my brain.

"Jaebeom-ah," he repeated. "Go tell her that we all will support you when you announce your relationship. We had no idea..." his voice trailed off.

I looked up into the eyes of my best friends. They looked apologetic and remorseful. They also looked encouragingly at me as he and the others helped me to my feet.

"Go after her and bring her back. We need to strategize on how to make this work out as best as possible. We'll wait for you," offered Jackson, nodding his head and pursing his lips.

Realization that they were on our side came flooding in and my tears of grief from just moments before became tears of appreciation, relief, and gratitude. I turned to TJ and she nodded at me and gave me an encouraging smile. Daniel was still pissed off, as his Korean wasn't as advanced as his mother's and he'd missed much of what Jinyoung had said and hadn't fully grasped the situation despite Jackson's comments being in English.

Not wasting another moment, as it had already been way too long, I took off down the stairs after Sharay.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

As I stumbled down the stairs, my vision blurry from tears I refused to let fall, I tripped in the wedges I was unaccustomed to. Quickly I kicked off the shoes. For a split second I thought about grabbing them, then I realized there was no need and proceeded forward leaving them where they fell, and raced towards my room.

When I got to the door I sighed deeply.

"Stupid girly clothes without pockets!" I muttered to no one in particular, as I realized I had placed both my cell phone and room key card in the bag filled with gifts for the members. Now left without a way to call my mom or enter my room, I did a quick 90 degrees and bolted for the elevators. I reasoned that I could get another room key from the front desk so headed to the Lobby.

"I've locked myself out of my room," I muttered to the person at the concierge. God how I hated talking to strangers, but there was no other option.

"I'm sorry miss," said the young lady behind the counter, who clearly looked at my disheveled appearance and lack of shoes with suspicion. "That floor is restricted to a private group and, frankly, you don't look like you belong." She said this, obviously referring to the fact that I wasn't Asian.

"I didn't belong". Those words echoed loud in my mind. Nothing could be truer. I didn't belong. Not wanting to cause a disruption and call attention to the Americans who shouldn't have been part of the GOT7 entourage, I turned swiftly and headed towards the rear of the building, past the pool on the ground floor, and out to the waiting sands that stretched north and south along the Atlantic.

I stopped briefly, trying to decide if I should head north or south, I broke into a run. My legs felt like lead at first, but I finally was able to focus on the feel and sound of my feet pounding on the sand and I started to fly. I needed to do something, anything, to keep my mind from what had just happened.

As I ran, something clicked that my mom would be worried. I choked back a sob as I realized that Jaebeom didn't need to worry about me anymore. I wasn't his to worry about now. He had other things to deal with. But my mom was another story, so I glanced around and saw a couple of people walking nearby and approached them.

"Excuse me?" I tentatively asked, really hating that for the second time in one night I had to talk to strangers. "I've lost my phone. Could I make a quick call?"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I took the stairs down three and four at a time, jumping to the next landing before dashing down the corridor to Sharay's room. I was peripherally aware that she had discarded the navy shoes she had been wearing in the stairwell and smiled wistfully at the thought that she would be more comfortable without them. As I reached her door, I began knocking and frantically called her name, but got no response.

Pulling out my phone, I dialed her number. It rang a couple of times before it picked up. "Sharay-ah?" I asked.

"Sorry Jaebeom, it's not. She left her phone and her room key in the bag she brought up."

"Shit!" I said. "If she calls, let me know. I'll check the lobby. Maybe she went to get another key. I'll let you know when I find her."

"If I find her" was what I was thinking. She obviously didn't want to be found, at least not by me at this moment.

The elevator was taking too long. I had no choice but to wait. I knew I was being reckless and the last thing I needed was a sprained ankle bolting down the stairs like I just did. When it finally arrived, I pressed the L for the lobby and nervously drummed my fingers on the railing as the lift descended.

Fortunately, it was late and no other people got on which would have slowed my arrival or could have posed a problem because of my identity. As the doors opened, I attempted to maintain my composure and proceeded to the front desk.

"Oh!" the girl at the desk exclaimed, upon seeing me and hearing my inquiry about a blonde girl asking for a replacement room key. "I didn't know she was with your group. She didn't look like she belonged."

I had half a mind to ream the concierge staff member out for her incompetence and presumptions about who "belonged" and who didn't, but didn't want to waste any more time.

"Did you see which way she went?" I muttered, while frantically scanning the empty hotel lobby.

"Well, I think she took off towards the pool," the staff member whose nametag read "Shelley" offered.

Without so much as a thank you or an acknowledgement of any sort, I darted towards the pool area. Though it was late, there were a number of people poolside and I scanned the area for Sharay, but to no avail.

"Can I assist you?" offered a lifeguard, who appeared to notice my agitate state.

"Have you seen a blonde girl come past her in the last five or 10 minutes? She would have been barefooted, wearing a white shirt with a navy vest and leggings?" I asked.

"Oh!" he said with a smile. "The real pretty one. She looked a bit upset. Is she your friend or something?"

"Yes. Please which way did she go?"

"Not sure I should tell you. She looked like she was trying to get away from someone," he said, looking me up and down suspiciously.

"Look. I really need to find her," I plead, resisting the urge to pin him to the nearest wall. Fortunately, before I could act irresponsibly, he acquiesced and shared that she headed towards the beach.

I gave him a quick "thanks" and took off only to stop at the shore, not knowing which way to go. Looking left and then right I was trying to decide how to proceed when my phone rang.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

"Mom. I left my key and phone behind so I'm just taking a walk on the beach. I'll be back later. I just need some space." I hung up before she could say anything. I just barely got the words out and knew I just couldn't take a chance of hearing Jaebeom's voice in the background or have her put him on the phone.

I thanked the couple who lent me the phone then took off again in a full run. It seemed to help calm me a bit.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I finally needed to rest, so I slowed to a walk. The night was clear and I could see the stairs despite the brightness of the city lights. The moon hung in the sky so low that it looked huge on the horizon. I could make out the sound of some fishing boats in the distance and the lapping of the waves on the shore. Since I was barefooted, I decided to venture towards the water's edge. The water was cool, but not cold. And as I marveled that the world seemed at peace and totally unaware of the turmoil that was raging in my heart, I backed out of the water and crouched down in a squat.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I answered my phone on the first ring. "TJ did you find her?" I asked worriedly.

"Not exactly. She called from a borrowed phone to tell me she was alright, but hung up before I could say anything. I called back and found out she was on the beach heading north in a dead run." TJ tried to sound calm, but I could hear the strain in her voice.

"Mom, I'll find her and I'll call as soon I as do. I promise," I assured her after clarifying that northbound meant that the water would be to my right. Knowing how fast and how far Sharay could run without needing a break I took off in a dead run.

About 15 minutes without spotting Sharay, I started getting really worried, when I finally spotted the silhouette of a figure squatting down by the shore about 50 meters ahead of me. I slowed my pace so I could catch my breath and about 10 meters from the forlorn figure, I slowed even further to a walk. I didn't want to warn her of my approach and have her bolt. About five meters from Sharay, I stopped and called out as gently as I could, "Sharay?" No response, so I stepped forward and said her name again.

This time, her head whipped around as she simultaneously stood up and faced me. She looked dazed and very out of it.

I took a slow step forward but noticed that, as I did so, Sharay took a step back too. I tried again and she did the same thing, but this time she put her hand up as if to signal me to stop. I came to a stand still not sure how to proceed.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I'm not sure how long I sat like that trying not to think. My soul focus was to not to let my mind drift to anything other than the waves lapping at the shore just in front of me; especially not to a certain Asian male with broad shoulders, soft brown eyes with two eye moles just under his left eyebrow, a smile that could kill and a voice as smooth as melted butter. Needless to say, it was a struggle. After a time, I even imagined his seductive voice softly calling my name.

I shook my head to dislodge the unwanted specter, when I heard my name called again. Startled, I whipped my head to the right and saw Jaebeom standing there with a very worried look on his face. I stood as I turned my head, readying to distance myself physically from him, though I couldn't get my heart to cooperate. I remained planted as if frozen in place.

Jaebeom took a tentative step forward and, as if on instinct to protect myself, I stepped back to keep the distance between us from shrinking. He took another step and, this time, I not only stepped back but put my hand up as a protective barrier.

Intellectually I knew what I needed to do, but my heart was warring with my mind. I found myself wanting to run from Jaebeom to protect him and wanting to run towards him knowing he would be the only one who could comfort me at this moment. That's when I heard him speak.

"I should never have let you give me the ring and necklace back. I should have stopped you from leaving. I fully expected the guys to support us, so I was totally caught off guard when they said they wouldn't," he began.

Finding my voice, I replied, "It wouldn't have mattered. It was a mistake anyway. Even if they had agreed, you and they would have been put in jeopardy when the fans found out. It would have backfired on you all and I just can't let that happen."

I could feel the words coming out of my mouth but they didn't sound like me. They sounded hollow and my voice was dead. I was resigned to the truth. Even if the members had agreed and he kept his promise to his fans, the fans would turn against him, the group, and even me. It would destroy all that he had worked for and would ruin his dreams.

"NO!" Jaebeom fairly shouted as he crossed the span between us in a flash. "No. You're wrong," he said as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

"I'm so sorry. The guys are sorry too," Jaebeom mumbled into my hair as he kissed the top of my head and pulled me in so tightly that I couldn't escape despite my pathetic attempts to free myself from his grip.

"The guys always intended to support us. Some were still mad about how I had reacted to Jackson and they wanted me to feel the full weight and responsibility of being leader. They never dreamed you would respond as you did. They thought the burden would be all mine," he explained. "Please. Let's head back. We need to find a way to make this work. To break it to the fans in a way that will decrease any possible backlash."

I had stopped fighting his hold, so he felt he could pull back a bit to look me in the face as he said this last part.

Sadly, I shook my head. "It doesn't matter if the guys agree. If the fans won't support it, it can't happen. It has to stop. We have to stop."

"Trust me. I'll make this happen. There'll be some who are unhappy, but that's to be expected. I'm sure we can find a way to make sure it doesn't significantly impact the group," he attempted to assure me.

"How can you say that? Look at Sungmin from Super Junior. He got married and almost a year later he was basically blackballed by the fans. What makes you think you can fight fans like that?" I asked incredulously.

"I'm Im Jaebeom, leader of GOT7," I said with more bravado than I felt. "Also I have several secret weapons in my arsenal. Do you think I didn't plan for this? Also after the fan meet tonight, everyone loves my English instructors and everyone adores the girl who talked sense into Jackson, both, as you know, are none other than you. How can they turn and hate you after that? Come on. Let's go back and make this work. I just know we can," he pleaded.

I was still not fully convinced that the fans wouldn't turn against Jaebeom and GOT7, but I did have full confidence in Jaebeom and his ability to analyze and strategize. He would have made a great general with his ability to read people and situations and work them to his advantage. But, I was still leery, so I hedged, "If they don't support this...."

"Don't borrow trouble. But, I know what your intentions are if that were to happen. Let's focus on making sure that's not an eventuality, okay?" he said as he kissed my forehead to reassure me that he had everything under control.

I was torn. Though I fully trusted Jaebeom and trusted in him, I was also realistic when it came to understanding the possessiveness of fans in the KPOP world. Many would destroy the future of their bias out of jealousy and many anti-fans would be waiting to stoke the fires.

Taking a deep and shuddering breath, I finally met Jaebeom's eyes. They were steady and clear. Though he looked worried, I could tell that worry was directed towards me for having darted off and not because of what the future held. As he laced his fingers through mine I could feel his strength and confidence and could do nothing but hope and pray it was foretelling of the future.

"Let's head back. The others are waiting. We have a lot of work to do before the first fan meet in LA."

"LA?" I inquire.

"Yes. LA. That gives us 12 days. We need to lay some groundwork before then and I need to get with some people to help out. Though I have primed some of them, there will be others and they'll all need some time. The first LA fan meet will be when I make the announcement. The second day in LA will be added confirmation that all went well," he offered. "Now let me call your mom and tell her we're heading back, as she is, no doubt, very worried because you took off."

Jaebeom handled the call to my mom and said we'd be back in about 30 minutes or so. I had run quite a distance and walking back would take a bit longer.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Trying to reason with Sharay was difficult at best. She seemed to have it in her head that it didn't matter that the guys supported us or not. Her focus was on the fans turning against us and she clearly was concerned that would happen. Fortunately, I had been better prepared to deal with that than the guys pulling a fast one on me and saying that they wouldn't support us to get me to "feel the weight and burden of being leader."

Right now I needed to convince Sharay that this could be successful. I knew she wanted to trust and believe I could make this happen yet, at the same time, her pragmatic approach to things made it impossible for her to deny that it was very rare for an idol to experience smooth acceptance of a relationship form their fan base. I couldn't argue with that, but I was bound and determined to change things.

I was relieved when she stopped fighting my embrace. Damn was this girl strong for her size! When she finally allowed me to just hold her, I tried to make her feel my strength and control, though, deep inside I was fully aware of the enormity of what I was trying to do.

I needed to show our fans that I would still give them my all: singing, dancing, fan service, the works, without any compromise while at the same time showing them that I adored and couldn't live without this girl. I needed to win them, not just to my side, but to her side and our side. I needed to change the culture surrounding idols dating from one of a scandal that "ruined' the idol and took them away from the fans to one of acceptance and acknowledgement that a real relationship would make any interaction between the idol and fans even stronger.

I had some ideas how I was going to accomplish this. I just wasn't sure if it would be as successful as my mind imagined. There was also the aspect of needing to get help from others, have them keep it a secret for 12 days, all while avoiding placing anyone in a position where they would be at odds with their agencies or their group leaders. I didn't want anyone to face what I had tonight with my own group members by going rogue.

After calling TJ to let her know I had found Sharay and to expect us back in about half an hour, I reached into my pocket and withdrew the ring and necklace Sharay had returned to me earlier.

"No matter what," I began, "you are my girl and nothing will change that. This is yours and always will be. NEVER think of returning it again. Not under any circumstances."

As I spoke, I reached around her neck and clasped the catch. My fingers brushed the skin at the nape of her neck and I could feel the soft hairs tickle my fingers. My face was close to hers so I could see what I was doing. As I finished clasping the necklace I brushed my lips along her left ear and across her cheek. Slowly, I raked my fingers through her braid at the back of her head with one hand and cupped her face with the other.

I looked Sharay in the eyes for any sign she would resist, then I slowly and gently moved forward to kiss her. As our lips met with a gentle touch, I could feel the electricity shoot through me, confirming that this was right and that there would be a way to make it happen, regardless of the odds.

As our kiss grew deeper and more passionate I wished I had said we would be longer in returning. I could taste the salt from Sharay's dried tears and it all but broke my heart to think that, yet again, I had been the cause for her anguish. I swore to never let that happen again. In an unspoken understanding, we reluctantly broke apart and turned back towards the hotel, our fingers intertwined. We walked with a sense of urgency; in a comfortable silence that belied the circumstance.

As we reached the hotel, we proceeded to the roof top to meet up with the others. Now it was time to use the strengths and contacts of all the members. I would really have to pull out all the stops as a leader to orchestrate everything in a 12 day period.


	27. Battle plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the guys work things so that the fans accept Jaebeom and Sharay? Jaebeom has a plan, but will it work. In the meantime, things get a little steamy between Jaebeom and Sharay.
> 
> Caution: suggestive scene ahead!

**Warning: Some suggestive mature content towards the end.**

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As we emerged from the stairwell on to the roof top deck, Sharay and I were greeted by her mom, brother, and the rest of GOT7.

"I'm so sorry" was the repeated refrain from each of the guys, over speaking one another in an attempt to assure Sharay they hadn't meant any harm.

The only silent one was Mark, who at first stood to the side with his head lowered. He peeked up from under his hat with a furtive glance, licking his lips in a nervous fashion.

"Jaebeom. Sharay," he finally said as the others began to quiet down. "It's my fault. I convinced the others to say they didn't all agree. I was still pissed off about how you treated Jackson. I'm not making excuses." He directed this last part at me.

"Jaebeom-ah. I was so wrong. I should've let it go when Jackson said he was good with it."

Turning towards Sharay, Mark continued."I had no idea you would be so selfless. I had no idea anyone could be so selfless. I'm ashamed that I did what I did when you were willing to sacrifice so much for the benefit of Jaebeom, GOT7, and me. I...."

Mark hadn't spoken so many words in one time frame in all the years I'd known him. I was mildly impressed, despite the hurt he had caused, that he was able to take such a strong stance in defense of Jackson and take responsibility for it. I wasn't in a position to judge his emotional reaction in light of my earlier very inappropriate response to Jackson, but he had hurt my girl so I was still feeling very raw and didn't trust myself to comment.

As I turned to see Sharay's reaction to his words, I noticed she was shaking her head. She approached Mark and looked up at him. Quietly, while gently touching his arm, she said, "I probably would have done the same. After all, we protect those we love even if it isn't the most effective way, right?"

With that, I heard Mark exhale. It dawned on me that he had been holding his breath the entire time, unsure of how he would be received.

"First time my sister isn't holding a grudge," quipped Daniel in feigned disgust.

"Shut it, Daniel!" Sharay barked at her brother. With that, the tension broke and everyone started laughing. I think it was a combination of relief and nervousness.

"So, Hyung," offered up Jinyoung. "What's the plan? I know you didn't make that promise to the Ahgase this summer without formulating one, even if it was only a rough idea."

Taking my cue, I outlined how a large number of people had reached out to me after the press conference letting me now they would back me when the time came. I had, of course, kept their contact information and built a list of other potential people who would benefit vicariously from speaking up against the "scandal" stereotype and who would someday like to date without backlash to their careers.

"I have a list of people we need to reach out to. I grabbed it from my room on our way back up here. Each of you will need to touch bases with those who you know best.

With that I set each to task. Jackson and Mark would reach out to the international idols like Henry, Amber, and Eric Nam. Yugyeom would approach younger idols and dancers with whom he had a connection while Youngjae would focus on gamers and vocalists. Bambam, would target trendsetters and those from Thailand and Japan. Jinyoung, would be the acting idol go to person, reaching out to people like Suzy, IU, Kim Soo Hyun, Hyun Sik, and Lee Min Ho. Each contact would be requested to reach out in turn to others in their spheres of influence. My job would be to pave the way with the group leaders to avoid any schism, like the one we'd nearly faced because I acted on my own. The goal was to spend the next 12 days prerecording and writing support and responses to my impending announcement.

"Secrecy is crucial. If this leaks before I make the announcement it could have serious negative ramifications. We'll have to coordinate the released to correspond with the end of the concert where I disclose Sharay as my girlfriend. I'm thinking the first day in LA would be best, so we can be in the public eye for another day afterwards to best judge the response and be available for comment," I continued.

"We also need to work with those willing to support this so that we can help with translations into various languages. To keep this closely guarded, we'll need to do most of the translations ourselves. Bambam, I'll also need your video production skills to help edit what people send us. Sharay and I can handle the English translations. Anyone who can respond in a language other than Korean, like Eric or Teacyeon-hyung can either do their own Korean translation or ask us to help them. Jackson, you and Mark are in charge of Chinese translations, Bambam you'll be needed for Thai. Jinyoung help me with the Japanese. Youngjae, I know languages aren't your thing right now, but you do have a number of US musical contacts, so I need you to focus on them for now."

"Finally, we need to script how the announcement will be made during the fan meet. This not only includes my part. I'll need support from each of you. Sharay supplied us with several reasons for her to be accepted. We'll need to remind them that they loved her for her interaction with Jackson here in Miami and, even though they didn't know she was my instructor, they already appreciated her for teaching me English. Finally, we'll need to reveal tonight's willingness on her part to step away to avoid friction between the members or my having to break my promise to them. In the meantime, I'll have to really step up my game and make sure every song, dance, and interaction of every kind clearly demonstrates that our relationship won't impact or minimize my role as leader or performing member."

I scanned the members as I was outlining my plan to make sure everyone understood their responsibility before asking, "Any questions? Any concerns or areas I didn't cover that we need to address or things we can do which will make this more likely to be a success?"

Heads nodded all around as there was a general feel that, for now at least, we had enough outlined. We might need to make some tweaks later on down the line, but we seemed to have a decent plan in the works.

At that point, my phone rang and I looked down to see the call came from Park Jin Young.

Taking a deep breath, I answered the phone.

After outlining my plan to our CEO, he agreed that the plan was sound. He would also do a video as the head of our agency in support of me and others who were stigmatized for dating. During episode 10 of JYP's Party People he had been disturbed by the EXO fans' reluctance to even consider allowing their bias group to date prior to entering a retirement home! He noted that being a lifetime idol without a personal life or love would make for a terrible industry and result in the loss of so many talented people who wouldn't be willing to even start the journey because of this. He also offered to reach out to the heads of other agencies like YG, Bit Hit and SM. Since he didn't want to risk corporate fear of revenue loss to clamp down on their talent speaking out, he was planning on doing this only after the artists had a chance to speak out en mass.

Finally, we wrapped things up and headed down to our rooms. I walked Sharay, her mom, and brother to their suite.

"Jaebeom, thank you for tracking down my daughter and organizing things like you did tonight. I really admire your leadership skills. I always have. But tonight, I realized you put those skills into play because of your love for my daughter and desire to protect her. Thank you. Now, I would assume you two have a few things to talk over, so Daniel and I will head into bed. Don't stay up too much later." And with that TJ, turned and shepherded Daniel away.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Before heading to the room, Jaebeom said he needed to quickly swing by his room and grab something. He took only a moment to retrieve a notebook before we continued to the stairwell leading to the upper deck.

"What's that?" I asked, more than a little curious.

With a smirk, Jaebeom replied, "Our battle plan."

Once we reached the rooftop, we wear basically accosted by everyone. The only one who hung back was Mark. He looked like a puppy that had been whipped. When he finally spoke, I was basically in shock. I never knew he could talk so much! And to think it was an apology to me. Though I usually held a grudge, in this case it was easy to forgive him. Love can make you do some really out there things after all.

Finally, Jaebeom launched into his plan for broaching the announcement that he and I were dating. It was a well thought out, elaborate scheme. The only potential pitfall was that a ton of people would be involved and entrusted with keeping it a secret for almost two weeks. I guess he reasoned that if we could succeed in breaking this "dating barrier" they would benefit as well so would be disinclined to undermine the plan. Even Mr. Park was on board.

After everyone had their marching orders, we split up to head to our respective rooms. Jaebeom walked my mom, brother, and me to ours.

I was reluctant to say goodnight just yet so was pleased when, after complimenting Jaebeom on his handling of the whole situation, my mom suggested we get a chance to talk alone for a while.

Sitting down on the couch in the living area of the room's suite, Jaebeom pulled me in for a hug.

"How're you holding up? It's been a bit of a rollercoaster hasn't it?" he offered.

I could only nod. I was definitely exhausted from the night's events. Saying I was over-stimulated would be an understatement. As I relaxed into Jaebeom's arms, I felt myself start shaking, almost like I was in shock.

He lay down on the couch and pulled me alongside him. "Shhhh. It's gonna be okay. I promise," I could hear him assure me as I drifted off almost instantly into a fitful sleep.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

With Sharay in my arms, I relaxed into the couch, pulling her close to me. She was exhausted. I'd definitely put her through the wringer. From my initial botched confession, to my attack on Jackson and her selfless, though foolish, attempt to broker a third solution when we thought the guys wouldn't back our relationship, you could say she had more emotional stress than anyone should face in a single evening.

Looking into her face and stroking her hair gently, I thought how fortunate I was to have her in my life. I vowed to make sure nothing would stand in our way; not even her and her selfless assertion that if the fans didn't accept us, she would step away. That just plain wasn't an option.

I don't know how long I lay there like that, but at some point I heard TJ clear her throat.

"I think it's about time you head back to your room," she more that suggested.

"Ney Eomma," I said, attempting to extricate myself from between the back of the couch and Sharay in front of me.

As I moved, Sharay whimpered in her sleep and clung to me. I looked up at TJ who gestured with her head that I needed to leave. After three such attempts, the last of which resulted in tears streaming down the sleeping face of my girl, TJ sighed.

"You leave me in a very difficult position Jaebeom. I can either make my daughter cry, even more than she already has today, or I can trust you to be a gentleman. I'm none too happy with either option. I hope you understand this is a one-time thing and you will be singing falsetto for life if you breach my trust." And with that she spun and turned back to the room she was sharing with Daniel. She returned briefly to place a pillow under our heads and throw a blanket over us, but other than that, she didn't say another word.

I could hardly believe it! I'd been given parental permission to spend the night with Sharay. Okay. To be fair, I had been threatened with castration if I stepped out of bounds; but it was still permission.

Relaxing my head on the pillow and settling Sharay onto my chest and shoulder, I recalled that I had slept this way with her once before. At the time though, I didn't realize how important she would be to me. Not wanting to miss a moment of this, I barely slept a wink.

As the sun began to rise, Sharay stirred in her sleep. Ever the deep sleeper, she stretched as she started to come to. Suddenly, her eyes flew open at the realization I was lying next to her.

"Good morning beautiful. Did you sleep well?" I asked.

Sharay jumped and pushed away from me with a start, almost tumbling to the floor had I not wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer.

"Shhhh!" I cautioned. "You'll wake your mom and brother."

"She's gonna kill us!" Sharay offered."How'd you end up staying here?"

"Let's just say I got parental permission because your mom didn't like seeing you upset. You can also say that she held my masculinity over my head if I wasn't the perfect gentleman," I responded with a knowing look to his nether regions.

"Well then, you best prepare yourself, as you've failed," Sharay noted with a semi-serious expression, as she was pressed against my torso and was apparently aware that it had been more than a bit of a challenge to sleep in such closed quarters without some primal reaction on my part.

Sure this wasn't the first time I'd reacted this way to Sharay. There was the time when she came out wearing that long black evening gown that left nothing to the imagination, and the night I returned after the hurricane when I slept in Daniel's room with open doors leading to Sharay's, and.... I had stopped counting actually, but this was the first time I was positive she was aware of my physical response to her as a woman. I wasn't sure how she was going to take it. It wasn't subtle.

Sharay moved to sit up, but I pulled her back down."Just where do you think you're going?" I asked her, my voice husky from sleep and desire. The desire was heightened now that she was awake.

"Well, I thought..." she began, before she stopped resisting my pull and settle back against me.

With that, my self control went out the window. I could feel the heat of our bodies, as I kissed her face gently and allowed my hands to travel over her arms and down her sides, pulling her hips to meet mine. I was on autopilot, but was aware that Sharay was responding to my touch and kisses with equal fervor.

Sharay had one hand on my back and the other on my chest, the latter was moving slowly downward. My breathing became ragged and hitched as I moaned her name against her neck; tasting her delicate skin. The lack of sleep was clearly affecting my decisions. I was peripherally aware of this but was unwilling to arrest my actions until I heard Sharay mewl and say my name.

A light went on that I had way overstepped the bounds of appropriateness. As much as I hated to, I halted my advances and reluctantly prevented Sharay from further inspiring the strain against my pants from getting stronger.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked me in a tentative voice. "I was just following your lead like when we were ballroom dancing. Was I getting the signals wrong?"

"No! You were getting the signals just right," I offered. "You were matching me perfectly. Too perfectly, in fact."

I smiled at the girl still in my arms and gave her a squeeze to affirm that she had done everything right. Maybe too right. Certainly better than expected from someone who had only had her first kiss the night before.

"It's good to know we're compatible in this way too. But, I have a number of songs that require a deep voice and what your mom has planned for me, if we continue like this, could mean an end to my career, not to mention other stuff. Maybe you were right. We should probably sit up."

Sharay looked as disappointed as I felt, but shook her head in agreement.

I wasn't sure how long it would be before we would ever have a moment like this again, but I was willing to wait if it meant keeping this girl by my side. I just didn't plan on the wait being too long. I was gonna make this girl mine in every sense of the word.

Sitting together, I looked down at Sharay as she rested against my shoulder and asked, "So how long do you think I'll have to wait between asking you to be my girl and getting you to say you'll be my wife? Once I get something in my head I can be a very impatient man, you know."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it for uploads this week. I'll add more chapters after I return from Eyes On You in Houston. Probably will be uploading around July 12 or 13.


	28. New York Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom and Sharay head to New York ahead of the rest of GOT7 and Sharay's family. Can they resist the temptations of being alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have been following this story as I've posted it, I aologize for the delay in uploading this chapter and the ones that follow. After the GOT7 Eyes On You concert in Houston I was wiped out for a week and then had a major computer crash that left me holding until I could get it repaired. Thanks for bearing with me. In light of the delay, I will try to upload all the remaining chapters today, or by tomorrow at the latest.

 

**Warning: Intimate scenes strongly suggested**

 

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Getting to meet Sharay's uncle in Atlanta was a treat, but I was really looking forward to New York. I had been planning a special surprise "early Christmas" present for her for several months and just couldn't wait to see her reaction. Because of this plan, Sharay and I had to leave earlier than the rest of the members and her family. As such we departed right after the Atlanta fan meet to catch a red eye to Newark and then taxi about half an hour into Manhattan where I had booked us two separate rooms in a small, relatively unknown hotel. Everyone else was leaving the following evening after spending some down time in Atlanta.

I was fortunate that I'd made the arrangements before asking Sharay out, as I'm not sure TJ would have given her approval if she had known we would be dating and on our own over night. I was a little concerned she might change her mind and had to share with TJ what the surprise was to convince her that it was too big a deal to miss out on.

Since it was the red eye, and we were in first class, Sharay and I boarded last to avoid the potential of being spotted by any possible GOT7 fans who had travelled to the Atlanta show. We also were able to disembark without incident. We had only carryon luggage since I arranged for the remainder of our suitcases to follow with the rest of the crew. In my bag was an additional outfit for Sharay; a necessary component of the surprise. Her mom had packed her bag without her knowing as we were to leave directly from the venue. Our bags were already in her Uncle Paul's car, as he was driving us to the airport.

"Wait! You mean we're not going back to the hotel? We're going where? Just the two of us?" Sharay was asking me, as I ushered her towards the back door of the venue hall and our awaiting ride.

"I arranged this a while back," I offered, trying to sound calm at the prospect of being alone with her overnight, two rooms notwithstanding. "It's an early Christmas present," I added by way of explanation. "Trust me. You're gonna love it!"

Our flight was rather uneventful, as we were both tired. Exhaustion was not just limited to the physical strain of performing, but also all the work we'd been doing preparing for the LA event and the disclosure that we were dating. Sharay was putting in tons of time translating the videos that were being sent in on a daily basis, so she was worn out as well. The moment the plane lifted off we both instantly fell asleep, Sharay's head resting upon my shoulder.

Touching down in Newark, we departed the plane quickly and made our way to the nearest taxi who took us to our hotel in the City. The skyline was breathtaking as we approached from New Jersey.

In an abundance of caution, we check in five minutes apart, with Sharay checking in first. Our rooms had been booked separately as well, but were done in such a way that they would be at the end of a corridor and next to one another. I didn't want her to be separated too far from me in the event of emergency.

// _I'm checked in and heading to my room. I'm in 303//_ was the text I got as I handed my identification to the hotel staff member checking me in.

// _I'm in 301. Be there soon_ // was my reply, as I quickly looked back up at the young man behind the counter.

"Is room service still available?" I inquired as he handed me my room card.

"Yes. Instructions will be on the phone in your room. We have a full service menu 24/7 This is New York. "The City that Never Sleeps," after all."

"Thanks," I replied, turning to the bank of elevators.

As I waited for the elevator to arrive, nervous energy coursed through my veins. How would things go? Would Sharay really like my surprise gift? Of course she would, I reasoned with myself. But I was still concerned. Something was unsettling me and I wasn't sure what was causing me to worry.

Stepping out of the elevator I walked down the corridor to room 301, opened the door, and unpacked my carry on. Carefully, I pulled out the suit jacket, slacks, and dress shirt I'd packed for myself as well as the black dress for Sharay and hung them in the closet. I then proceeded to call room service and order some food, as neither of us had had a chance to eat since before the performance, and that was hours ago. I was starving and I knew Sharay would be too.

I called Sharay's room and asked if she'd called her mom to let her know we'd arrived safely and she confirmed that she had. I told her I would call her as soon as the food arrived. I didn't want any nosy room service waiter getting the wrong idea.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

"We're going where? Alone!" I asked Jaebeom incredulously.

"I'll tell you on the way, but if we don't leave we'll miss out flight," he said in response, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the back exit of the venue hall in Atlanta.

As we emerged, I spotted my uncle's car parked right outside the door. Jaebeom opened the back door and ushered me inside, following immediately and calling out, "Paul, thanks so much for doing this. You're a real life saver."

We all but had to run to catch our flight. Jaebeom had us in First Class. Fortunately, the rest of the passengers were seated by the time we boarded so there was no risk of us running into any Ahgases who were flying back on the same flight.

As we settled into our seats, Jaebeom having stowed our carry-on luggage in the upper compartment, my nerves started to get the better of me. Whatever was my mom thinking letting me fly out a day early to New York, alone, with Jaebeom? Even I knew this was risky. Apparently, this surprise though was such a big deal that even she was unwilling to put a stop the plans she'd previously approved when she thought we were merely friends.

I had a serious case of nervous energy. I was exhausted from all the translating I was doing for the videos that had been flooding in. We'd received over 40 different idols and actors respond to the requests from the various members and JYPE CEO Park Jin Young. I was also constantly on edge about being seen with Jaebeom before LA and yet, here we were, jetting off alone to New York without a chaperone, manager, or any of the other members or staff. This was insane.

Fatigue took over and I finally fell asleep. I really appreciated how broad Jaebeom's chest was as I curled up against his shoulder and nestled in for a nap. It seemed like only moments had passed when I heard the announcement that we'd be landing in Newark shortly.

As soon as the fasten seat belt light went off, we gathered our carry-on luggage and made a bee line for the nearest taxi and the roughly 30 minute drive to a smaller hotel booked by Jaebeom for us for the evening. We'd be relocating to the hotel everyone else was staying at the following evening. Though I was curious about this surprise Jaebeom had in store, he didn't seem inclined to elaborate, so I didn't press for detail. I got the feeling that maybe I would be overwhelmed if I knew too much so went with the premise that no news was good news.

Pulling up to the small hotel, I got out first and headed in while Jaebeom settled with the cabbie. Check in went smoothly as the reservations had been made well in advance and under two distinctly separate reservations. Even if we had just been friends, this arrangement would have caused a scandal if word got out.

I headed to my room, knowing Jaebeom would be following in a few minutes and that his room would be located not too far from mine. The room was small but functional. I quickly pulled out my toiletries and freshened up a bit in the bathroom after texting Jaebeom my room number. Not long after he confirmed his room would be near mine.

I wasn't sure what the plan was so called my mom to let her know we'd arrived safely and then sat down to listen to some music while I waited. I nearly jumped out of my skin when the house phone rang. It was Jaebeom telling me he'd call me to come over once the food he'd ordered was delivered.

It wasn't until he mentioned food that I realized just how famished I was. It had been hours since I'd had anything to eat. As I sang along with the song I had playing, I tried to not think of my stomach and attempted to keep from belting out in song. The first I could manage fairly well, but the second always proved a challenge. Jaebeom always teased me that I was "Hamil-trash" given my obsession with musicals, most recently and very notably the musical "Hamilton.

Well, I reasoned, I was in New York City, home of Broadway, so this was as close as I would ever get to the show. I'd made the mistake of going on line and checking out prices for "Hamilton" only to find it was well outside my budget. The "cheap" seats were going for just under $500, and some in the Orchestra section close to $2,000! Maybe I'd snag a T-shirt while I was here, I thought. Sort of a consolation prize, as it were.

Finally, I got a call that the food was ready, so I turned off my music and headed next door to join Jaebeom who'd ordered a veritable feast. The combination of fatigue and food made it hard to stay awake. It was late as well, after 2am, when Jaebeom walked me back to my room.

As I unlocked my door and opened it to head in, Jaebeom gently grabbed my arm arresting my departure.

"You'll need to be up and showered by noon so we can grab a bite to eat. I'll order room service again. Call me if you wake up earlier, okay?" he said letting go of my arm but trailed his hand down to my hand so he could give it a squeeze.

He made to let go but, this time, I was the one who held on.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As I waited for the room service to arrive, I could make out the refrains of music and singing coming from Sharay's room. I smiled to myself, as I set up the small table to have as a place to eat.

Once the food arrived, I called Sharay and within moments I heard a gentle knock at the door. I opened it to find her standing there looking a bit shy. I signaled her to sit and we both dove into the food like ravenous animals. After satiating our hunger, I could tell we were both feeling the cumulative effect of little sleep and lots of work so walked her back to her room.

As she opened the door and started to head in, I reached for her arm. I needed to let her know at least a little of tomorrow's schedule, so I offered, "You'll need to be up and showered by eleven so we can grab a bite to eat. I'll order room service again. Call me if you wake up earlier, okay?"

Reluctantly, I let go of her, but caressed her arm first before holding her hand and giving it a quick goodnight squeeze. I reluctantly went to release her hand only to find she wasn't letting go. My breath hitched and my heart raced at the implication. I said nothing, as I was afraid I'd spoil the moment and I was probably jumping to conclusions and misreading everything anyway.

Sharay leaned into me and in a small whisper, which I wasn't sure if she intended for me to hear, she said, "Don't go."

I pulled back just enough so I could see her face. She was looking straight at me with a confidence that belied the circumstances. I leaned in to find her lips soft and waiting for mine. Backing her into the room, I closed the door behind me.

I was warring with myself. This was wrong. I knew it would be difficult, if not impossible to check myself. She wasn't helping as she was pulling my shirt out from my jeans, freeing her hands to run against the skin of my back. We stumbled backwards towards the bed on which I lowered her.

I was trying to be gentle and not to rush things, but she really knew how to drive me wild. I began kissing her neck as she explored my body with her hands. Alarm bells were sounding.

Wait! That wasn't in my mind. It was her phone ringing. I extricated myself from the compromising position we were in and with a deep sigh gave her a quick kiss and said, "Eleven or earlier," and departed before I changed my mind.

As I closed the door, I could hear Sharay on the phone, "No Mom. Jaebeom's in his room. I'm by myself and getting ready for bed now. We had room service and he's got something planned tomorrow, as we're meeting up at noon. Goodnight."

It took me a bit to open my door. My hands were shaking and I was still having trouble calming my pulse. As I closed the door, I leaned my back against it, not sure if I was thankful for TJ's impeccable timing or wanting to curse her ill-timed intervention. I quickly brushed my teeth, and got dressed for bed as I pondered the "what if's" of the situation, and decided that it was for the best.

Getting into bed I heard my phone buzz. Looking over I saw a text from Sharay that read:

// _Sorry. I shouldn't have done that_ //

I replied:// _Don't be sorry. I love that I make you feel that way. It's mutual you know! I can wait. You're worth it. I love you_.//

// _Thanks. I love you too. I'm not a very patient person apparently_. // was her reply.

Laying my head down, I chuckled to myself before remembering to set an alarm, so I could be showered and have room service ordered and delivered by eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was short. The ones that follow will, hopefully make up for it.,


	29. Pardon Me. Are You ....Lin-Manuel Miranda?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom has a surprise in store for Sharay. It's an early Christmas present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me as I add in another fandom as part of the narrative (pun intended if you know the musical "Hamilton"). I've included a number of YouTube links to some of the songs that are referenced and encourage you to check out them out as you read through the story and then follow-up with the entire musical score of "Hamilton" when you get a chance. 
> 
> If you aren't inclined to listen to all the songs, at the very least, listed to the song "Burn." You will thank me later. Trust me on that one.
> 
> To help visualize the events portrayed in the songs for those who aren't familiar with the play, I've included the animatic versions were the audio was that of the original cast. I've included the straight studio recorded versions for the ones where there were no decent visuals.
> 
> This musical, specifically the rapping, will be revisited in a later chapter featuring another JYP group (spoiler). Please note all credit to the musical "Hamilton" goes to Lin-Manuel Miranda and there, unfortunately, is no known planned collaboration between JB/GOT7 and him. A girl can dream though.
> 
> Warning: Long post to compensate for my failure to update several weeks in a row!
> 
> Caution: Some songs contain sexual references. "Say No to This,"has an F-bomb and some graphic description of infidelity. Infidelity is also referenced in "Burn." One sexual reference in "Aaron Burr, Sir" and a few mentions of Hamilton being born out of wedlock calling him a B*****d and son of a wh**e. "You'll Be Back," though historically referring to Britain and the American Colonies, implies an abusive and stalking relationship.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I wouldn't normally consider myself a shameless hussy, but I'd acted like one last night. I decided to pass it off as impaired judgment secondary to exhaustion, but truth be told that man made me go a little crazy with the smallest of gestures and simplest of comments. Sighing, I stretched and reached over to turn off my alarm. Though I could have used a little more sleep, it was already 11am and I needed to shower and dress before meeting Jaebeom at noon.

Even though I was impatient to see Jaebeom, I was also a little flustered because of my behavior last night. I wondered how he would treat me and all because of it. I sent him a text before heading his way and slowly walked to his room, not sure what to expect.

Jaebeom opened the door almost before I could knock. He was freshly showered, but still wearing only a robe. For the briefest of moments I wondered if he thought we would be picking up where things left off last night, when he gave me a quick hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. Though I was relieved in one sense, I'm sure disappointment registered on my face as well since he chuckled a bit and said, "Don't worry. I have my wits about me today, so you'll not find yourself in a compromising position."

As I walked in, he has a veritable smorgasbord of food set out and we tucked right in. As we ate, he offered very little explanation about the day's events other than to say he would be doing my makeup for me before we left.

"Makeup? Whatever for?" I pried.

"Humor me," was all he would add, as he stuffed a mini cream puff in his mouth and one in mine.

After eating, he sat me down and started with my makeup. This was something he'd done for me once before just prior to the dance we'd attended months back. Even now it was a bit unnerving that he was touching my face so intimately and that his face was in such close proximity. Unlike the last time though, he occasionally made a small comment or observation, like pointing out how clear my skin was or brushing my lips with his finger and giving me that side smirk of his as if he were contemplating something devious.

No matter how many times I tried to pry details from him, he just smiled and told me to be patient. His makeup was already on, though it was very subtle and mostly to enhance his eyes. It definitely wasn't KPOP idol makeup. I noted that he'd covered his two moles completely. It didn't take long for me to be readied since he knew I wasn't in to heavy makeup, or makeup at all for that matter.

Going to the closet he pulled out a suite, shirt, and tie for himself and laid them on the bed. He returned to the closet again, retrieving the black dress I had worn to the dance the last time he'd done my makeup and said, "Head into the bathroom and get dressed. I'll dress out here. We need to get a move on. We're on a schedule."

He offered this last bit as he glanced at the watch on his right wrist.

Taking my dress, and the panty hose, bra, and shoes that had been in the small bag next to it, I walked to the bathroom to change. I contemplated rushing so I could catch him in the middle of changing, but as always got hung up getting the panty hose to fit just right. I still thought that the person who developed them was a bit of sadist.

"Can you please help me zip this up?" I asked, as I emerged from the bathroom, still squirming in an effort to reach and get the back zipper to where I could reach it.

"As you wish," Jaebeom said smiling. "Did you get the 'Princess Bride' reference?"

I must have turned a pretty shade as he zipped me up and gently kissed my neck since he offered, "Pink suites you. If we weren't on a schedule...."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

When Sharay showed up at my door I was very tempted to discard my robe, but I had big plans for today and there was no time to delay. I'd arranged for her to check out of her room and I'd planned to keep mine one more night to avoid any appearances of impropriety. I also needed a place for us to keep our carry-on luggage while we were out for the afternoon and evening. I'd drop her off at the hotel where everyone was staying and then return here to collect everything, allowing us to arrive at the hotel at different times avoiding any possibility of fans spotting us together. This hotel, however, was off the beaten track and it was a relatively safe bet no fans would spot us here.

After getting a bite, I sat Sharay down to do her makeup. I loved being this close to her and, unlike the last time I was her makeup artist, this time I had the luxury of looking her in the eye and lingering with my touches. I still found it difficult being in such close proximity without my pulse racing and thoughts running through my head that would make her blush if she could read my mind.

I ushered her into the bathroom, so she could dress while I donned my suit in the bedroom. Though I contemplated going slowly, I knew Sharay would take longer from the vocal cursing that was coming from the bathroom. Apparently, she was having an argument with her pantyhose and they were winning.

I tried not to let on that I'd heard her when she finally emerged, though I'm sure the laughter I'd been suppressing was evident on my face.

"Can you please help me zip this up?" she asked, turning a pretty shade of pink.

"As you wish," I said as I swept her blonde hair to the side. As I brushed my fingertips along the nape of her neck, I felt her shiver slightly and smiled at the thought that my touch could elicit such a response.

Grabbing long coats, we headed for the door. Sharay was still not sure what I had planned, but she seemed comfortably resigned that I knew what I was doing.

We grabbed a cab and instead of speaking to the driver, I handed him a note.

_"Please take us to the rear actors' entry of the Richard Rogers Theater on Broadway. There's an extra $100 in it for you if the young lady with me doesn't see we are going to the theater district and definitely doesn't see the marquee for 'Hamilton'."_

The cab driver was a true New Yorker, who nodded his head and said, "Consider it done."

credit:   NYportraits.blogspot

After that he kept up a steady banter, successfully distracting Sharay from the drive and our destination.

As the cabbie deposited us near the rear entry to the theater, I paid him in cash and thanked him profusely, before exiting with Sharay.

The back of the theater was more like a desolate alleyway. Not exactly the place you would take your girl on a high class date. As we picked our way through the alley, I held Sharay's arm to prevent her from falling.

A knock on the door was promptly met with a smiling face belonging to a younger male who eyed me up with an appraising once-over while hardly giving Sharay so much as a glance. Though I felt a bit uncomfortable by his clear interest in me, I was thankful that it was limited to that. I handed him the gilded envelope I'd previously sequestered in my coat pocket. After reading the contents, the young guy's smile brightened even more, as he said, "Please follow me."

Taking us through the back of the theater, we were routed down and around to our seats in the Orchestra section. The doors for admission hadn't yet been opened, so we sat down and waited.

Our seats were in the third row about as close to dead center to the stage as you could get. I couldn't help but smile, as I saw the look of astonishment in Sharay's eyes as she looked around and took in her surroundings.

"Jaebeom?" she asked.

"Happy early Christmas?" I replied with a 'do you like it' question to my tone.

Before Sharay could respond, the doors to the back of the theater opened and the rest of the audience started to filter in for the afternoon matinee. The theater filled up quickly and it soon became apparent that it would be a full house.

The orchestra began setting up in the pit and started tuning their instruments. A few riffs of some songs could be heard and it only took a couple of notes before Sharay's head spun around, and with eyes wide and mouth agape she gasped. "HAMILTON!!!! You got tickets to Hamilton!"

As Sharay silently screamed with delight, she grabbed my arm and squeezed it and shook me back and forth with what could only be described as fangirl delight.

Throwing back my head and laughing at her reaction, I pulled the playbill I'd be surreptitiously handed by the young guy who'd led us to our seat. Sharay merely stared at it and then tears formed and she started to silently cry.

"Hey. Don't cry. Here," I said, as I wiped the tears from her eyes.

Still smiling and crying a little, Sharay replied, "These are happy tears. I sure hope that mascara you used on me was water proof though or I'll end up looking like a raccoon!"

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom was being so secretive, but seemed to be enjoying the whole process, so I didn't say a word when he handed the cabbie a note. I assumed it was instructions on where we were going and Jaebeom wanted to keep it a secret from me. I indulged him by paying attention to the cabbie's banter and keeping my eyes focused on Jaebeom. This last thing was easy to do, as he looked super sharp in his suit.

The cab finally stopped in what looked like a rather shabby alley, and for a moment, I wondered if we were in the right place. Exiting the cab, Jaebeom offered me his arm, as the pavement was rather rough and there were puddles from an earlier rain shower. Together, we navigated our way to a door marked, "Stage entrance. Actors only."

Okay, so we were going to a play. I could deal with that. I loved plays. I wondered which one it was though, as I couldn't see the marquee from where we entered.

After knocking on the door, a cute young guy opened it and gave Jaebeom an appraising look. I couldn't blame him, but I sure wished his gaze hadn't lingered quite as long on Jaebeom's lips or below his belt! This kid wasn't even subtle. I stifled a giggle, as I saw Jaebeom squirm a bit in discomfort and hold on to my arm a bit tighter after handing the fellow an envelope from his coat pocket.

"Please follow me," was all the young man said, as he navigated us through small cramped spaces and finally onto the floor of the theater and to our seats. Before leaving us in our seats, he gave one last longing look at Jaebeom and then departed.

Our seats were prime. The curtains were drawn, so I couldn't see the stage so I had no idea what the play was and Jaebeom wasn't letting on. As the audience began to fill the theater, the orchestra began to tune their instruments and that's when I heard a few notes and I all but screamed.

"HAMILTON!!!! You got tickets to Hamilton!"

So this was my early Christmas present. Though I was super excited, I was also feeling dread, as there was no way I would be able to compete with this when it came to a gift for Jaebeom.

It wasn't long before the theater lights dimmed, signaling the imminent start of the musical. As the house lights focused on the stage, a single actor's voice rang out through the theater.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Today the role of Alexander Hamilton will be portrayed by Lin-Manuel Miranda."

Lin-Manuel Miranda as Alexander Hamilton

I about fell out of my chair. Looking over to Jaebeom, I detected a smirk that looked suspiciously like he knew this was going to happen.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I have to confess that the musical was fantastic, but throughout I stole glances at Sharay and the expression on her face was priceless. I think I really scored when it came to selecting the best gift for her ever.

As the curtain went down I leaned over to Sharay and whispered to her, "Just stay seated for a bit. We have to wait until everyone else has left."

Sharay nodded her head, assuming that I was referring to us keeping a low profile and avoiding the chance of being spotted together. I had to hide my smile knowing that there was more to come.

Just about everyone was gone when the young guy who'd escorted us to our seats a few hours earlier showed up.

"Did you enjoy the performance?" he asked, more like he was stating a given rather than asking a question.

"Absolutely!" replied Sharay, while I nodded my head with firm assent.

"Please follow me. I was told you needed to wait a bit longer," he offered while gesturing with his hand to proceed toward the side of the stage. We followed him backstage and he led us directly to the wings. Looking out, he checked that the curtain was still down before offering, "Feel free to walk onto the stage if you'd like. Give it a bit longer and," here he paused and looked at me and winked before leaving.

"Are we really allowed to go on stage?" Sharay asked. Her voice hopeful and yet unsure.

"Of course. That's what he said," I assured Sharay, while taking her hand and leading her towards the center of the stage.

The lights were dim, but we could still see the set. The curtain shielded us from the seats, but suddenly they opened and a bit more ambient light made the entire empty theater appear before us. I could hear Sharay inhale sharply, as she took in the view.

 

 

"This is amazing," she commented in a reverent tone. Turning to me, she smiled and added, "I guess this is old hat for you though."

I detected something in her voice that made me pause for a moment before saying, "Merry Christmas. I hope you like your present." As I said this, I gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Jaebeom. This is like a dream. I don't know how to thank you..."

Again, that something in her tone made me pause.

"I know you well enough to know that you're holding something back. I just don't know what it is. Please. I can almost hear the 'But'. We promised to really be open with our communication." And with that I reached over and tipped her head up to look at me, since she'd dipped her head to avoid my eyes.

Biting her lower lip, Sharay hesitated a moment and then softly offered, "The first class plane tickets, the hotel, and the Orchestra tickets. I....." She paused again, seeming to be searching for the right words. I didn't rush her but let her have the time she needed to collect her thoughts.

"Jaebeom, you have the ability to make my dreams come true, but what can I do for you? By comparison my Christmas present for you seems so...inadequate. I feel so inadequate. I'm ashamed and..."

Her voice trailed off and I saw a lone tear escape down her cheek. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't a 'happy tear' as she called it. I wanted her to be thrilled, not feel bad about herself. I searched my mind for the right words to console her and recalled something Jackson had said once. I took his perspective and adopted it a bit to the situation.

"Sharay, comparisons kill. Let me ask you one thing. The present you have for me, did you think of me when you decided on it? Was it done with sincerity?"

A firm nod of the head was her only response.

"Then what makes you ever think that would be inadequate? As long as you thought of me, that's what counts. I'm thrilled I can make your dreams come true and I'm not planning on stopping at this either. But you need to know that you are my dream. That ring you're wearing round your neck; you saying you'd be mine. That's like my Christmas and Birthday present for the next 60 plus years. Anything else is extra. You don't need to fulfill my dreams. You do more than that. You help me create new dreams."

I took a breath and while cradling her face in my hands, I wiped that tear with my thumb and continued. "Do you think even your mom's skill at teaching languages could have inspired me to study as hard as I did to learn English? No. That was all you. I wanted to be fluent enough that there'd be no language barrier between us. You did that, and so much more that I'll share with you in a bit."

"But, I still feel as though..." again her voice trailed off.

"Okay. I get it. How about then you do two things for me of my choosing as an additional part of your gift to me?" I proposed.

The look she gave me made me laugh out loud.

"Hey! I'm not talking about that! I promise; nothing illegal or immoral, okay?" I amended.

This time Sharay laughed. "Okay. Deal."

I held out my hand, pinky finger extended to intertwine with hers and we pressed our thumbs together.

credit DIVX

"약속" we said simultaneously.

I could feel her visibly relax, though she had no idea what I had in mind for her to do. I grinned at the thought knowing one would be a challenge she would enjoy and the other something she would be less inclined to fulfill.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

How could this man make me feel so loved and cherished? He could read me like a book and just know something was bothering me. Though I was reluctant to let him know that I was ashamed and felt unqualified to be his girlfriend, he drew out of me my concern that by comparison with this gift he'd planned for me, the one I had for him for Christmas was inferior and inadequate.

I couldn't help it. As much as I tried to hide my feelings, I guess they showed on my face. Even with his reassuring words, a tear broke free and I could feel it slowly trace its way down my cheek. The feel of his hands cradling my face made my heart pound. As he gently wiped that stray tear away, he also erased my concerns; well almost.

As if he knew there were some lingering doubts, Jaebeom offered a compromise. "Okay. I get it. How about then you do two things for me of my choosing as an additional part of your gift to me?" he proposed.

My mind jumped right to the gutter and apparently the thought I had flashed across my face, as Jaebeom laughed outright. You know the laugh. That laugh were he opens his mouth wide and lets loose completely?

"Hey! I'm not talking about that! I promise; nothing illegal or immoral, okay?" he amended. Though I had a sneaky suspicion he had the same thoughts as I did.

I agreed and we pinky promised, though I was a little concerned about what I was getting myself into exactly.

Right then, I heard the sound of footsteps coming onto the stage. We both turned and to my shock I saw none other than Lin-Manuel Miranda not five feet from us. I looked in surprise at Jaebeom, but his expression was calm, as though he wasn't the least bit surprised at all.

"Hey JB! You're a master. You got her promise to work with us locked in without her even knowing it. I'm impressed,'' Lin-Manuel said.

"Great performance LM! Thanks for breaking out of semi-retirement to do that. It really added to the surprise for my girl," Jaebeom replied.

I couldn't do anything but look back and forth between the two of them. It was clear they'd spoken before and were on rather intimate and collegial terms, but it took a bit for me to digest the fact that Jaebeom had coordinated with Lin-Manuel, or LM as Jaebeom had called him, to get him to perform at today's matinee; and it was done for me! After a few beats, it also sunk in that Lin-Manuel had mentioned something about me working with them. At this poin,t I probably resembled the emoji with the mouth wide open in surprise. You know the one that looks like:

"Sharay, I'd like to introduce you officially to Lin-Manuel Miranda," Jaebeom was saying to me, as I tried to get my jaw off the floor.

"The pleasure is mine," Lin-Manuel was saying. "Because of your influence, JB contacted me a couple of months ago and asked if we could collaborate on a production. After listening to his compositions, I believe our musical styles will complement and strengthen each other. As you know I'm big on rap and hip-hop and JB excels in those as well as with R&B. I was eager to get started straight away, but he said you'd be the perfect person to help us come up with a topic. I understand you're quite the historian and reader. I'm looking forward to our collaboration."

"Promise number one," Jaebeom said as he turned to me smiling. "Help us come up with a great story line from which we can create a great musical."

This was like a dream coming true. Seriously?! I was going to get to work with both Jaebeom AND Lin-Manuel Miranda. For a moment, I felt a level of insecurity and self doubt creep in, but before it could take hold I heard Jaebeom say, "You know, I only work with the best and would never compromise just because of our relationship, so don't you dare think I suggested this for any reason other than that I think you would be the best at this."

I had to smile. This guy predicted my thoughts so fast and accurately. I wasn't sure what I ever did to deserve him, but I sure was thankful.

All I could do was say to them both, "I'm so honored and will do my very best."

"Now for that second promise," Jaebeom was saying. His expression showed that he wasn't nearly as confident I would do this as he had been when talking about the last request.

"Don't think. Just say yes," he prompted, giving me that look he gave the members of GOT7 when encouraging them to do something that was outside their comfort zone.

"Yes," I said guardedly, with suspicion layered in my tone.

Jaebeom turned to Lin-Manuel and said, "Sharay has regaled me with every song from Hamilton while driving in the car. She can do any song; any part. I'd love for her to have the chance to say she sang on Broadway. I have this," he said as he held out a thumb drive. "Can we play this and let her sing one of the songs here on stage?"

My face went numb and my feet turned cold at the prospect of singing in this forum and in front of both Jaebeom and Lin-Manuel. I wanted to run, but my feet wouldn't, couldn't, budge. Before I knew what happened, Lin-Manuel was smiling in agreement and calling for a stage hand to come and take the flash drive.

"I..I..I...can't," I stumbled over my words. "Please," I begged Jaebeom, but he merely shook his head and waved his pinky reminding me that I'd made a promise.

My mouth was dry and my throat felt tight. I could feel the pounding in my chest, as my heart rate climbed. Even as I thought these things, I looked around me and saw the theater. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I was at the brink of letting my fears and insecurities stop it from happening before it even began. It was then that I felt Jaebeom holding my hands.

He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Start off my looking only at me. Sing as though you're just singing to me. You've done this before. After a bit you'll relax into it. Trust me. I know."

The music started and I closed my eyes for a moment. Opening them, I did as instructed and focused just on Jaebeom; his face full of encouragement.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I could tell there was a war going on inside Sharay. Part of her wanted to run and another stronger part wanted to experience singing on this stage. With a good deal of encouragement and a promise that she could start by focusing on me, she settled down a bit. As the soundtrack for "Burn" started up over the speaker system, I could feel her body trembling through her hands which I held. Eyes closed, she took a deep breath, and then focused her gaze on my face. Blocking out everything else around her, Sharay began to sing. I couldn't help but swell with pride as she belted out the song and portrayed the pain of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton (FYI pronounced Skyler) with skill and emotions that belied her inexperience.

 

**_*Author's note: Even if you skip all the other song links, please listen to this one. You'll thank me later!_ **

Before she was part way through the song, she'd released my hands and was singing with abandon. I glanced over at LM and noticed he was duly impressed. Yep, I thought. That's MY girl!

After the one song, Sharay turned to me smiling. "I don't know whether to kiss you or hit you for putting me on the spot like that, but let's start with that kiss. Shall we?" And with that she reached up and gave me a peck on the lips.

"You call that a kiss?" I asked, grabbing her and going in for a real kiss.

I admit we were lost in the moment, until finally the sound of LM clearing his throat registered.

"Um. I know you two only recently started dating, but how about giving it a break and let's go get a bite to eat and discuss our collaboration. You said you wanted to mention it tomorrow night at your performance. I have a car waiting and my driver will take us someplace quiet to eat. On the way, Sharay, how about you, JB and I sing some more songs together from the soundtrack. I really want to hear more from you, and I know from JB that may be a more comfortable way for you to 'perform' for me," Lin-Manuel deftly negotiated the transition from our make out session to a dinner invite.

On the way to dinner, Sharay was given the choice of songs and she selected, "Alexander Hamilton," "Aaron Burr, Sir," "My Shot," "What'd I Miss," "Satisfied," "Hurricane," "Non-Stop". "Say No to This," "Wait For it," and "You'll Be Back." With New York traffic on a Saturday evening it was slow going getting to Christo's steakhouse in Queens, but time seemed to fly with the three of us chiming in and singing just about every part, except Sharay alone sang the parts of the both of the Schuyler sisters and Mariah Reynolds, and her British accent for "You'll Be Back" was way better than either of us guys.

_*** check out the following links to the songs mentioned. Enjoy!!!!** _

 

Following a great meal, Sharay and I grabbed a cab together. Before leaving though, I gave LM tickets to the following evening's GOT7 performance and details on how the collaboration would be announced. I dropped Sharay off at the hotel we were all planning on staying at. I remained in the cab until she entered the hotel then took off back to the hotel we'd stayed in the night before to get our bags.

After checking out, I hailed another cab and returned again to the hotel we would be in for the NY event. Before meeting up with the rest of the members, I dropped off Sharay's bag in her room.

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

Singing on the Hamilton stage in front of Lin-Manuel Miranda was both exhilarating and nerve-racking. I've never been more excited or nervous in my life. Holding Jaebeom's hands and looking into his eyes, eyes which showed he had full confidence in me, grounded me just enough that I could start the song with only a slight waiver to my voice. As I settled in, my confidence grew and the joy I got from singing overcame my rattled nerves.

Lin-Manuel was a gracious listener and chided us in a friendly way when Jaebeom became a bit more amorous that expected after I gave him a thank you peck on the lips. I have to confess, Jaebeom has a way of taking my mind off of what's going on around me and I was a touch embarrassed that I'd forgotten where we were and with whom.

On the way to dinner we sang more songs from "Hamilton." It was a challenge deciding which songs to select, since I was the one given the control of that and they are all so great. Dinner was delicious. The restaurant had been recommended by my mom. It was one my grandmother and grandfather had frequented when they lived in the City. Obviously the owner had changed, but it turns out the food remained just as top notch. The steak I had was so tender I could've cut it with a spoon.

After saying goodnight to Lin-Manuel, Jaebeom dropped me at our new hotel before heading back and getting our carry-on bags and checking out of the hotel we'd stayed in the night before. When he got back and brought me my carry-on, I was still enthusiastically regaling my mom and Daniel with the events of the night.

As we said goodnight, I thanked Jaebeom, but noted, "You know that the two things you made me promise really were for me as much, if not more, than for you. I think I still owe you."

"Well then you'll just have to hang around with me a whole lot more until you feel you've made it up to me. Though I'm not keeping track or comparing, if I did, I'd be owing you forever. Without you sharing your love for "Hamilton," I'd never have even thought to contact LM and this whole plan of collaborating him wouldn't have ever even come up. Like I said earlier. You help me create new dreams."

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

At the fanmeet the next night, I again planned going last for my comments. This time, I was able to let the members know in advance that I had something special to share.

"So who here wishes that I had a special announcement like I made in Miami?" I asked the crowd. The roar from the fans was deafening.

"How about if I let you know that I've been working on something else that features New York? As many of you observed and commented on SNS, I didn't arrive with the rest of the members last night. I actually flew in the night before because yesterday I had a meeting with someone special. I'll be working alongside one of New York's greatest talents in a musical collaboration. At this time, please welcome Lin-Manuel Miranda!"

As LM entered the stage, we hugged. The other members enthusiastically greeted him. The crowd, many of whom knew LM and his association with "Hamilton" and "In the Heights" responded with cheers.

"How'd you like to hear us do a duet of sorts?" asked LM. "I want you all to know that over the past couple of months I've really come to admire and appreciate the song writing skill of JB. I hope that his R&B and KPOP flair will marry well with my hip hop and rap approach. We're bringing in a young talent to help us with script writing and topic research so 'Wait for It,' because wherever we are it will be the 'Room Where it Happens'" he said alluding two one of his songs from his production, the latter which we proceeded to sing. I took on the part of Aaron Burr and Lin-Manuel reprized his role as Alexander Hamilton.

**_*Authors Note: Imagine Jaebeom singing the part of Aaron Burr, especially the ending segment where he goes off and really belts it out!_ **

After our Broadway interlude, LM departed the stage and we continued the fan meet. We still had Chicago to go before heading to Houston, where I had another surprise to unveil. This time it was a specific fan who would be targeted and a long awaited promise would be fulfilled.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the links and inclusion of Hamilton in the story line.


	30. Number One Fangirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the Houston fanmeet, Jaebeom has another surprise announcement for the fans - one in particular.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The next days flew by fast. Between fan meets and traveling to different cities, we worked on contacting a network of almost 50 idols and actors who were willing to make statements against the archaic belief that those in the entertainment business couldn't date without it being a scandal or financial ruin for their company. Some even planned on announcing their own dating status. We had to change the minds of the public and win the hearts and support of the netizens in one fell swoop. I also hoped that with more people "coming out" as dating, it would water down the impact for any one person or group, mine included.

Translations of the videos that were being sent through on a daily basis were exhausting to complete, but they encouraged us all that this plan would be successful. Once the translations were completed, we returned the video files for individual upload scheduled to be done right after our first LA concert.

In addition to the announcement that I was dating, I had also been working on another surprise. This surprise though involved tracking down a little girl named Jane who, hopefully, lived in Texas near Dallas where we'd met several months before. Her Aunt Donna was known to be a follower of Jackson on Instagram. It wasn't a lot to go on, but I had some SNS experts in Bambam and Jackson who were doing their best to track her down.

My desire was to surprise Jane by getting her tickets to the Houston fan meet, rather than merely posting the selca we took on Jackson's Instagram or on my recently added account. Fortunately, Donna was a big fan of Jackson and regularly commented on his posts. She even mentioned her niece thinking she had seen me in Dallas. A few quick messages and some follow up phone calls, and the plan was set in motion.

On the night of the Houston fan meet the crowd was particularly lively. The games were different from the other venues as we had over 10 from which to select and they were drawn randomly. I was beginning to find that many American girls were more forward than Sharay and had to regularly stay off physical advances. Now that I spoke English, and they knew it, some of the propositions I received were, shall we say, risqué at best. I found myself frequently squirming from the encounters and hoping Sharay could tell that I was not interested at all.

For our closing remarks, I went last. It was time for Surprise #2 to be revealed.

"Thank you all for coming," I began. "Did you have a good time?"

I could hear the audience roaring, so I waited a touch until it died down a bit.

"Did you like the surprises I gave you all in Miami and New York?" Again there was a cacophony of sounds drowning out my words, but I followed it with, "Would you like another surprise?"

After finally getting a bit of a handle on the crowd, I continued. "In the audience tonight is a very special fan. This is someone I met in my travels as I was going back and forth between Korea and the States for my English training. Despite my ability to speak English well, and without an accent, I couldn't convince her I was someone other than myself. She was very smart too and figured out that I was probably traveling in secret and learning English."

"This girl informed me I was her bias and that she was a true Ahgase and would keep my secret. The only thing she asked was that I post a picture of the two of us on Jackson's Instagram account once I told everyone my secret. She wanted to prove to her aunt that she hadn't been wrong. She's here tonight as my guest after we were able to track down her aunt. So would you all give it up for my little friend Jane!"

"Jane, would you please make you way to the stairs on either side of the stage?" prompted Jackson. "It's time for all of us to meet you and for Jaebeom to thank you for being so great about keeping the secret he didn't even share with us."

The small figure of Jane appeared at the end of the stage stairs and she slowly started to make her way up. Racing to greet her, I met her as she was halfway up. I grabbed her hand and steadied her as we climbed the rest of the way.

Jane had the biggest grin on her face. I could tell she was super pleased, but wasn't altogether that surprised.

Leaning in I asked her, "Did you aunt tell you I got her the tickets?"

"Not exactly," snickered Jane, "but she's as bad as the rest of GOT7 when it comes to giving spoilers, so I kinda figured it out."

I nodded, and brought her over and introduced her to the rest of the guys. We then took a group photo with her.

"Did you have anything you would like to say to the rest of the audience?" I asked Jane, assuming she would be too shy and would decline.

"Yes please," she said in a small voice, so I handed her a microphone, not sure what she would offer.

"I would really like to thank JB and all of GOT7 for this honor. I would also like to say to all the fans that even when JB was trying to convince me he was someone else, he was very kind and polite. Given how they made this special surprise for me, I would encourage all of you to respect their privacy and not gossip or spread stories if you don't know if it is the truth or not, even if it is a good story. You never know. You might get a one in a life time chance like I did tonight."

With that, she handed me back the microphone, smiled, gave a little bow and thanked me again.

As she was escorted off the stage, I reminded her that I would see her at the photo op since she was in P1 seating and whispered that I would share another secret with her afterwards if she waited a bit.

Jane cocked her head like a curious puppy inquiring what that was all about, but I just smiled and said, "Later."

We wrapped up the fanmeet and began the photo opportunity for those in P1. As Jane and her Aunt Donna came up, I made sure Jane sat in front of me. Donna muscled her way in front of two others to get a spot in front of Jackson. Before they left, I had the staff tell Donna to have them wait by the side until after the Hi Touch, as I had something to share with Jane.

Finally, we headed back to our dressing room. I took a moment to wipe some of the sweat off and change into yet another clean and dry shirt. One of the event staff came in and said, "We have Jane and her aunt in the room across the hall. Are you ready for them?"

"I'll be there in a moment," I offered, as I finished up the text I was writing.

Standing up, I made my way to the room across from ours. Jane was still smiling from ear to ear but didn't say anything besides hello when I walked in the room. Her aunt was a different story.

"So what's the secret you were going to share with us?" she prompted.

"Actually," I corrected her, "it's a secret I'm sharing only with Jane. Please wait here for a bit. I need to borrow your niece for a bit." With that, I gabbed Jane's hand and departed before the aunt could object. The two burly security guys I had selected effectively blocked her from following us, instructing her to just stay in the room.

"What's going on?" asked Jane.

"I have a really big secret I want to share with you but, after what you said about her giving you spoilers, I don't think your aunt can be trusted."

Bending down to her level, I asked, "Do you think you can keep a secret from her for a few days? You obviously kept the other secret about our deal from her and that was for much longer."

Laughing, Jane looked at me and said without hesitation, "Of course. Piece of cake!"

Grabbing her hand again, we walked together down the hallway past a few other rooms until we reached a closed door.

"I want you to meet someone," I said and took a deep breath. Jane would be my litmus test to see how Ahgases would respond to the news that I was dating.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

There was a knock at the door before it was pushed open. Jaebeom walked in holding the hand of the girl I was expecting to meet. Jane was about 11 and was really an adorable little girl. She had medium brown hair that was pulled up into two long pony tails on either side of her head. Holding her hair in place were two hair ties with circular buttons with pictures of Jaebeom on them. She was wearing a T-Shirt from the Just Right era and a cute little denim skirt with leggings underneath. She sported brown lace up boots and a shoulder bag covered in GOT7 memorabilia. Clipped to one of the straps was the JB Dream Knight doll decked out in a red hoodie.

"Jane, I would like you to meet Sharay. Sharay this is Jane," Jaebeom offered by way of introductions.

Jane pursed her lips for a moment like she was trying to remember something and then smiled, "You're the girl who was Jackson's game partner in Miami!" she exclaimed all of a sudden.

I couldn't help but smile back, as she had such an infectious grin. It was also good to know that she appeared to have a positive impression of me.

Jane's smiled wavered for a moment and then her mouth dropped open as she figured out what was going on.

"You're dating!!!!" she squealed. "That's the secret isn't it?"

She said this as more of a statement than a question.

"Yes," Jaebeom confirmed. "We started dating after the fan meet in Miami.

"But she was Jackson's game partner. How could you start dating someone you just met?" the little girl asked, confusion showing on her face.

"Because we met before. Sharay and her mom were my English teachers, so we've known each other for about 6 months," Jaebeom clarified.

"Oh, that makes more sense. So the other guys only found out after the Miami fanmeet?" she asked for confirmation.

Jaebeom came over and put his arm around me and said, "I promised this past summer during a press conference that I'd tell our fans when I started dating, so I'll be making the announcement at the first LA fanmeet. We just hope the fans don't turn against us."

Jane was quiet for a bit before commenting, "Well, I always hoped you would marry me, but any true fan would want you to be happy, so I'm really happy for you. I don't think our age difference would have worked out anyway."

I could tell this last part was added in more to convince herself than anything else, as I had been in her shoes not too long ago when I thought Jaebeom loved someone else. Before I could respond to her, she spoke up again.

"Is there anything I could do to help out? Probably not, but if there is I'd be happy to help," Jane proposed, not really sure what else to say.

"Actually, there is something you could do," Jaebeom chimed in.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

When Jane offered to help, I realized that we had a ton of idols speaking up on our behalf but no fans. She would be a huge help and I told her so. I asked if she would be willing to let us video tape her saying basically what she'd just told us and she agreed.

Grabbing my phone, I called Bambam and asked him to come to the room we were in and to bring his camera. Not long afterwards, Bambam walked in with Daniel in tow. Sharay's younger brother was carrying a tripod.

_*My real son Simon lending his face for a visual to represent "Daniel"_

After a little fangirling over Bambam and a lot over Daniel, Jane was set up in a chair and was videotaped stating that as an Ahgase and fan of JB, she was thrilled that I found someone I loved and who loved me. She also said she knew many would be sad that he was off the market, but that "obviously" he was still giving it his all to the fans both musically as well as with fan service. As a side note she offered that Sharay came with a cute younger brother to help ease some of the fans who would be heartbroken.

After Bambam wrapped up the taping, Jane started talking with Daniel. As usual for him, he made friends with her in about two minutes. The conversation quickly shifted to YouTubers they both watched regularly. I wasn't long before they exchanged social media information. Looking over, I saw him ruffle Jane's hair and as he said goodbye she said, "Goodbye Daniel Oppa."

Jane turned to wish Sharay well and they gave each other hugs. Looking at my watch, I realized we had been gone for over 45 minutes and was glad I had sent Jackson a text requesting he keep Donna company for a while, with Jinyoung in tow to make sure he didn't share about my dating.

"I'll be back shortly," I told Sharay. "Let me just walk Jane back to her aunt."

I had arranged some special gifts for Jane. She had my Dream Knight doll, but I also got her one for each of the other members so she would have a set. I also got her a mini Snoop Dogg shirt and the unicorn outfit for her JB doll, as well as the full set of GoToon figures. Finally, we all took some selcas with her and signed her T-Shirt.

As she and her aunt departed, Jane turned back and ran her fingers across her lips in the universal sign of zipping her lips to keep a secret and throwing away the key. I responded with some of my best aegyo, including giving her some finger hearts and a cheesy wink.

 

 


	31. Beggin' On My knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom tells the L.A. fans that he's dating and the reaction isn't what he hoped for, but Sharay's little brother Daniel refuses to just sit back and do nothing.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Our last night in Houston was tense. We were all thinking about the LA show and how I was going to fulfill my promise to our fans. From the other room, I could hear Mark talking with his dad on the phone.

"I know you expected me to stay with you and Mom tomorrow night, but something came up and I really need to be with the rest of the guys," he was explaining.

Without hearing the other end of the conversation, I could tell by Mark's response that his dad was concerned and was trying to find out the reason for this change from how he'd always done things every other time we'd been to town for an event.

"No, nothing's wrong. You don't need to worry. It's a good thing," he was trying to reassure Papa Tuan. He continued, "You know how Jaebeom has been doing surprise announcements throughout the tour? It's dealing with that, and we have a lot to prepare for as a group. I probably won't be able to meet up with you until after the second show either, but I'll make up for it as I'll get to spend Christmas with you all instead. Okay?"

As Mark joined the rest of us in the living area of the hotel suite, he smiled reassuringly at me and Sharay. His smile, however, didn't reach his eyes. We were all feeling anxious about how the announcement that I was dating would go over the following night. We knew his parents would be supportive and could keep a secret, but there was always an entourage of Mark's "friends" trying to muscle in on things and it would be difficult to explain to Papa and Mama Tuan why they needed to be excluded. This was easier under the circumstance.

Now that I fully understood English, I had gone back through the Snapchat posts from our FLY tour in LA and realized that Mark's friends were not necessarily ones who could be trusted. I wouldn't go so far as to say they were snakes, like some Ahgases did, but I was also aware that even unintentional comments and posts could undermine what we had planned. There was no sense not being cautions. Wisdom dictated that we learn from past events so as to avoid any possible repeats.

We were schedule to depart from Houston early in the morning and get to LA mid morning. We'd been to the same venue several times before so didn't need as much prep time as we were familiar with the layout and all there. We'd do a single dry run of everything in the early afternoon; everything except our closing remarks. Those we would run through at the hotel away from staff and possible outsiders.

As we wrapped up the evening, I walked Sharay back to the suite she was sharing with her mom and Daniel. I entered her room to give her a quick hug and kiss goodnight since we would be traveling separately tomorrow. I hoped we'd be able to travel together starting tomorrow evening, but Sharay's comment that she would not stand in the way of my career if the fans didn't accept our dating, loomed large. Until now I was able to put it from my mind. As the hours and minutes ticked by though, I became acutely aware that this may be the last time she would mine before she cut ties with me "for my own good."

As I held onto her, like she was a life line, and I a drowning man, I spotted Daniel standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He was looking at us with fierce determination written all over his face. As Sharay turned to head to bed, Daniel called out to me.

"Jaebeom Hyung, can we talk a moment?"

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

The venue in LA was buzzing. The fans here seemed more down to earth. I assumed it was because it was Mark's hometown and they felt a special kinship with GOT7 because of that.

The music, games, and interaction between the boys and between them and the fans was over the top. There was an entire row one level above us filled with Mark's friends and family. Papa Tuan and Mama Tuan were obviously huge supporters of their son, but they were clearly there for the entire group.

As the fan meet progressed, the feeling of dread escalated in me. My pulse was racing and jumpy. My hands were sweaty and shaky too. Every breath seemed to be a challenge; like it would be my last.

As I looked at Jaebeom on stage, I knew that breaking up with him would be the only right thing to do, if the fans rejected the fact that we were dating. He belonged up there. He was the consummate showman. His singing, dancing, and song writing skills were unparalleled, and to deny him and his fans that would be the most selfish thing I could do. I reasoned that if anyone had to be hurt, I was only one person versus Jaebeom, the rest of GOT7, and all their fans. I think I'd been praying nonstop for several days, asking God to soften the hearts of the fans, as I wasn't sure how I'd be able to function without Jaebeom in my life. Watching him from afar would be too painful. I realized if it came to that, I'd be better off cutting all ties with him and, frankly, anything to do with KPOP. Anything else would be too painful a reminder of what I'd lost.

Fearing the worst and preparing as best I could for it, I still tried to keep a positive outlook in front of Jaebeom. I didn't want to add to the stress I knew he was already under. I did wonder what Daniel had talked to him about the night before though.

⊱ **♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I always tried to give my personal best to each and every performance. Tonight, however, I performed like my very life was on the line. In reality, if I lost Sharay, I knew it would feel as though I had died. I didn't dare allow myself to even contemplate such a possibility. I had to have faith that the fans would we moved and would support us.

"Hey! I'm your boy Bambam. Did you guys have a great night?" asked our Thai member. "Have you liked what we did tonight and during the rest of the tour?"

The crowd responded enthusiastically, so Bambam continued. "Jaebeom Hyung has given you all some great surprises this tour, right? Did you see the fancams from the other venues?" Again they roared with enthusiasm. "We decided tonight we'd each share some of our favorite moments of this tour so far."

Youngjae, using an interpreter chimed in, "Hello Im' your sunshine otter Youngjae," said our vocalist with a great big belly laugh. "One of my favorite parts of this tour was the announcement that Jaebeom is going to collaborate with Lin-Manuel Miranda the mastermind behind the musical "Hamilton." I think this will be just the start of more collaborations with US artists."

It seemed fitting that he'd chosen to talk about that, given his earlier involvement with Sanjoy and Elliot Yamen.

Yugyeom also used an interpreter and he offered, "Hello. I'm Yugyeom your dancing maknae. One thing that really stood out for me during this tour was meeting Jane in Houston. I think she represents all our fans that support us fully. She made me so proud of all Ahgases because she showed that she really knew Jaebeom and was able to support him and keep his secret even when it was a challenge to do so. That loyalty and love is the hallmark of the IGOT7 fandom that is unparalleled. I love you all and thank you for standing with us through thick and thin."

I smiled as they each chimed in with comments that were not only true, but were geared to encourage the fans to have the right frame of mind when I made my announcement.

"Yo LA! Whassup?" yelled Mark. "I'm Mark. I know my hometown always has our back and our best interests at heart. Thanks for supporting us. You know we'll always continue to give you everything we've got and will come back again with even better songs and better performances. We love you!"

Though Jinyoung was still working on improving his English, and he was nowhere near as fluent as I was, he had planned his final comments in English. "Hi! I'm Jinyoung. Some of you are still calling me Junior. 하지마!" This comment was met with laughter as he was adored for his savage remarks and biting comments.

"This tour has been the easiest for us as a group because Jaebeom has been able to speak English and act as our leader here instead of relying on Jackson and Bambam. We never looked to Mark as he doesn't speak much on a good day." Jinyoung, my JJP partner, followed it up by giving some top notch aegyo and his trademark, "Wae?"

Not leaving things there, Jinyoung ended things by asking the loaded question, "Aren't you thankful to Jaebeom Hyung's English instructors?" which elicited the desired affirmative response from the entire arena.

Next was Jackson, who was at his hyper showman best to begin with by ripping off his T-shirt and throwing it to those in the front rows while flexing his muscles.

"Jai Er. Jackson," he said while giving all the girls and many a guy a heart attack by his actions. "I've really loved this tour. It's been the best. I have to say that my game partner in Miami changed my life. As most of you know, I've struggled with self esteem problems since switching from fencing to becoming an idol. I lost the self confidence I once had and I tended to compare myself with others, especially my height, and well... that was a self defeating thing since I am the shortest in this group. I've also never really believed people when they complimented me about my talent or my looks. Though I know I have plenty of room for improvement, and will continue to work on myself and my skills, my game partner freed me of the lies that had been paralyzing me and holding me back from moving forward. I no longer focus on the negative, but am looking at the truth and the possibilities. For that I will be forever grateful."

It was my turn to close things down, but first I had to make good on a promise.

༺ ¤○•° **Sharay** °•○¤ ༻

As the guys began their closing remarks, I realized that they were trying to set the stage for the best chance of a positive reception of Jaebeom's announcement. With each member's comment I felt honored that they recognized me for so many things. I was in tears by the time Jackson was done speaking and almost missed it when Daniel said he was heading to the bathroom shortly before Yugyeom started talking.

I guess I was so worried that it didn't dawn on me that it was a very inopportune time for him to leave. By the time Jinyoung had spoken, my fingers were aching as I was clenching the armrests so hard. Just after Jackson wrapped up his comments, I cracked my knuckles against my face to relieve the stress. From the corner of my eye I could see my mom checking on me. She looked tense as well. I started to fidget because Daniel hadn't returned yet. I really wanted his support when Jaebeom took the stage.

⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆ **Jaebeom** ⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰

As Jackson finished his comments, he turned to me with a reassuring smile. Though I'd performed hundreds of times, I'd never been so nervous. I felt as though I was moving in slow motion as I proceeded to the front and center of the stage. I took a deep breath before beginning and as I exhaled I could feel the nerves diminish a touch. Having said that, I was aware that I was holding the microphone tightly and that my palms were sweating.

'Start off with the easy stuff,' I told myself, in an effort to regain some semblance of composure. I knew my voice got a bit tight when I was worried and I needed it to sound as confident as I was about my love for Sharay.

"Hey everyone. I'm JB!," I began. "This tour has been fantastic, right!"

I paused to wait for the crowd's feedback to die down. For the most part, they seemed so interested in hearing me speak English, and my instructions at prior venues that I would only talk if they were silent seemed to have been passed along, that it wasn't long before there was quite in the hall.

"I'm sorry that I was so lacking as a leader and a member before. I'm humbled that you put up with me not being able to communicate with you all directly before. I'm sure I missed out on some great conversations and comments in the past because of my poor English skills. These couples of weeks have allowed me to get to know so many of you on a more personal level, though a few of you have proposed some things that made me blush! I have to wonder if I was asked something similar in the past and I just stood there nodding like a fool with a stupid grin on my face. The thought of that makes me laugh and cringe at the same time," I said, which was followed by laughter from the fans.

I took a deep breath and said a silent prayer then launched into what I really wanted to say.

"I want you all to know that I love what I do. It's not just the music and dancing that I love. I love these guys I work with. They're like brothers to me. I also love seeing how what we do makes you all happy and I never want to lose any of this. Our, my, relationship with you all is precious to me. That's why, tonight, I'm going to make good on a promise I made to you all several months ago."

No one said a word, but I could hear people restlessly shifting in their seats in anticipation of the news. I mentally visualized Sharay in the audience and knew she would would be on edge. I wanted to get this done, so we would know how things were going to go, but I didn't want to rush it to the point that I blew it. Been there. Done that with my confession to her. There were no 'do overs' this time.

I decided to launch right in. I could see the guys on either side of me giving me subtle, yet encouraging, smiles.

"This past summer it was incorrectly reported that I was involved in a dating scandal. In response, I held a press conference where I promised to let our fans know if I started to date rather than date in secret. Today, I'm meeting that promise."

I stopped there to let my words sink in. It took a few beats and then the entire arena erupted. Though there were a number of people clapping and cheering, the vast majority were not as gracious. I heard loud boos, yells of 'NO!' and 'how could you' and even a couple saying they hated my girlfriend. Some were even hissing, sobbing and crying. Why did I not envision this possibility? Why had I been so sure they would support us? How could I have been so wrong?

I could feel the blood draining from my face, while my feet seemed rooted and my body frozen in place. My vision started to blur and the sounds around me seemed to wash over me like when tossed by a large wave. I felt like I was drowning and couldn't break free from the whitewater that was spinning me and trapping me. I couldn't see a way out – a way to get air. I'd been tightly gripping the microphone, but all of a sudden my arm felt as heavy as lead and it dropped to my side. I couldn't feel my fingers and the microphone slipped from my hand, landing on the stage floor with a deafening thud and a feedback screech that momentarily stopped the crowd's response. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I sensed wet tears streaming down my face and all I could think of was Sharay sitting amongst the fans booing the two of us. I wanted to run to her side to comfort her, but knew that was impossible. My only consolation was that she had her mom and brother to support her.

Out of my periphery, I saw a figure approach, stoop down, and pick up the microphone I'd dropped a spit second before. A hand was on my shoulder. I could feel life slowly stream from that hand back into my body.

✧ °∘• **Daniel** •°∘✧

"I'll be back. Gotta go to the bathroom," I said to my mom and sister. Without waiting for a response, I quickly got up from my seat and made my way towards the side exit. As I walked, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the paper I'd sequestered there. Looking at the crude drawing, I exited the auditorium, turned right and headed down a series of corridors until I found the door I was looking for.

Carefully, I counted and I knocked on the door in a series of intricate tapping sounds. Fortunately, I'd practiced a bit and apparently got it right, as the door opened as soon as I'd completed the secret code. I found myself near the back of the stage on the right side – left side as you looked at the stage from the audience. I was ushered to the side of the stage, just out of sight behind a barricade, by a staff member. Though he had no idea why I was there, he was apparently apprised of where I needed to be.

Left alone, I heard Jackson start his remarks. Talking a moment to collect myself I reflected on the night before at the Houston hotel.

**━━━━━━ ♫ ◈ ♫ ━━━━━━**

**FLASHBACK**

**━━━━━━ ♫ ◈ ♫ ━━━━━━**

"Daniel, no matter what I'm trusting you to protect and be there for your sister,' Jaebeom Hyung had told me as he was leaving our room.

"I will Hyung. I'll protect you both," I assured him.

"Forget about me. Focus on her. That's your job. Got it?" he emphasized.

"Sure," I'd replied, knowing that I needed to focus on both, since my sister would only be happy if Jaebeom Hyung was okay and the same for him.

After Jaebeom left, I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. My phone on the side of the sink was buzzing, so I rinsed and checked the message that had been received.

// _Meet us by the ice machine in 5 minutes – Jackson_ //

As I finished up in the bathroom, I casually walked over to the ice bucket and said to no one in particular, "I'm heading out to get some ice. Back in a bit." Grabbing a room key, I left quietly.

"Daniel, thanks for meeting with us," Jackson said. All of GOT7, with the exception of Jaebeom Hyung were huddled in the vending and ice machine area on our floor.

Mark took charge at this point. "Daniel, I'm concerned that Jaebeom has overlooked how crazy fickle our fans can be. This town isn't as generous as some and we're concerned they may turn against him and our sister. It's a case of 'plan for the best but prepare for the worst'."

I knew things were serious, as this was more talking than I'd heard from Mark during the entire time since Miami.

"What can I do?" I asked, genuinely concerned and hoping they had a plan, as I was way out of my depth here.

"Glad you asked," chimed in Jinyoung. "This is what we were thinking..."

With that they outlined a Plan B in the event things started to look bad.

**━━━━━━ ♫ ◈ ♫ ━━━━━━**

**END OF FLASHBACK**

**━━━━━━ ♫ ◈ ♫ ━━━━━━**

I heard how the crowd was responding and knew that Plan B was definitely needed. I only hoped that it would be effective; that I would be effective. It was a gamble and not knowing exactly what I would be faced with, I had prepared a few thoughts but was really going to have to improvise. Fortunately, my training as an actor included a focus on improv and I was, according to directors and casting agents, pretty good at it. This, however, wasn't an audition and a lot rode on how I handled things.

Jaebeom Hyung had stopped talking and I saw his arm drop and his mic crash to the floor. "THUD –squeeeaaal." The microphone was emitting feedback and stunned the crowd momentarily. This was my cue, if ever there was one.

I walked quickly, yet confidently on to the stage, and picked up the microphone abandoned by Jaebeom Hyung and placed a hand on his shoulder to ground the two of us.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Daniel hadn't returned by the time Jaebeom started talking. I was getting super concerned and my mom held my hand trying to silently reassure me. But, when Jaebeom announced that he was fulfilling the promise of telling them when he was dating, the place rapidly transitioned into mayhem.

All around me I could hear girls wailing and crying. Some were booing and hissing. A few voices issuing death threats against me could also be picked up. I felt as though I'd been stripped naked and thrown in front of a jeering crowd. If I could have run, I would have, but there was no place to go. Tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face. I guess I must have looked like I was upset about the news like so many others, but the truth was, I knew that I would never be able to see Jaebeom again.

My heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. It hurt so badly that I had to pound on it with my fist to try and create another form of pain to distract me from it. Simultaneously, my stomach started to hurt and I could sense that I was about to vomit.

My eyes never left Jaebeom who was standing on stage. He seemed alone and defeated. His eyes looked as though they were glazing over and all of a sudden his arm collapsed to his side and the microphone he'd been holding crashed to the floor with a loud thumb followed by a squeal of feedback. The feedback was apparently very loud as many held their hands to their ears, and momentarily the noise in the arena was arrested. I, by contrast, could barely hear the sound as I felt as though everything had been muffled.

It was then that I noticed movement at the side of the stage and a person emerged and made his way to Jaebeom, picked up the abandoned mic and placed a comforting hand on my boyfriend's shoulder.

I took a shaky breath and could almost feel the warmth of that very same hand, as if it were resting on my shoulder too. I knew that hand and that feeling all too well. It belonged to my younger brother, Daniel.

I had no idea how he got there or what he was doing, but for a sense of hope began to well up in me. 'Could Daniel be my answer to prayer?'

✧ °∘• **Daniel** •°∘✧

This situation was worse than any the guys and I had envisioned. I needed to get their attention and get it fast. I needed to control this crowd and calm things down. I only hoped I could rise to the challenge.

"Hajima!" I said with as commanding a voice as I could muster without yelling.

That startled the audience. Along with my unexpected presence and being an unknown, they didn't start back up with their protests about Jaebeom dating, but seemed to settle in to see what I had to say.

I nearly giggled when the thought crossed my mind that they may be thinking that he was dating me! Ha! Not likely.

"I'm Daniel," I offered by way of introduction. "Thank you to those of you who were happy for Jaebeom when he announced that he was dating. You are truly wonderful people. I know how hard it is to have hopes and dreams of dating your bias only to find out that he's found someone he loves."

At this I changed tone, "As for those of you who booed and jeered; you should be ashamed of yourselves. How hypocritical! You want him as your boyfriend but are unable to be happy for him when he's happy with someone else? How would you feel if it were you he was dating having to hear those rude and selfish comments?"

I paused briefly to let my words sink in then continued. "I'd always heard that this fandom was different; that the people who called themselves Ahgases were kind, caring, loyal, and supportive of GOT7 as a whole and of each of the members individually."

I could tell my words were starting to have some think about their actions, so I went on. "Not a moment ago you were cheering and thrilled about the people who taught Jaebeom Hyung how to speak English. His English instructors were my mom and my sister. By the way, I'm the younger brother of Jaebeom Hyung's girlfriend." I paused again letting that sink in.

You could almost hear the light bulb go off simultaneously in the minds of thousands of fan girls. I knew I was on the right track so ratcheted things up even more by adding, "You were also excited about Jaebeom Hyung collaborating with Lin-Manuel Miranda. Who do you think introduced the musical Hamilton to JB? Yeah. That would be my sister and his girlfriend, again."

By this time there were excited murmurs running through the crowd. Taking a deep breath and controlling the anger I'd felt and focusing on reconciling these crazing fan girls with Jaebeom and, by association my sister, I stated, "During the Miami fanmeet my mom, sister and I were in the P3 section. Though we'd been offered P1 seating by JYP, we didn't want to take away the opportunity for other fans to get up close and personal with GOT7. Amazingly enough, my ticket was randomly chosen as one to participate in the games. As an early Christmas present, I gave the chance to my sister. You all loved her at the time and eagerly cheered for her when Jackson shared how much she had helped him with his self esteem as his game partner."

You could hear an audible gasp from those in the arena. They were finally catching on how influential my sister was and how much she had done for Jaebeom and GOT7. I figured I'd drop the last one on them for good measure.

"Who besides Jaebeom Hyung would honor his promise to you like he did when it could blow up in his face? Also as a final point, I want you all to know that my sister really loves Jaebeom Hyung; so much so that if you don't accept them as a couple, she's vowed to break it off with him. You see, she refuses to get in the way of his career and that of the rest of GOT7 and wouldn't do anything to interfere with the boys and you all. Let that sink in for a moment. Where many of you selfishly wanted him not to date, she selflessly is willing to let him go if that would be the best for him. Ask yourselves this: has his performance, fan service, energy or time been less than before or greater? Greater, right? If my sister is forced to break up with him because of you all, do you think Jaebeom Hyung will be happy? Do you think his performance, fan service and energy will be the same or will it be negatively impacted, as he would be facing the loss of someone he loves?" I said.

With all my training in speech and communication, I learned that every speech needed a call to action to wrap things up. This was going to be the litmus test to see if their dating would be accepted. I slowly scanned the audience. Well, truth be told with the lighting I couldn't see anyone really, but I imagined locking eyes with as many people as I could. I wanted to make this a personal approach, so tried to convey that as best I could when I concluded by asking, "So, are you going to be selfish hypocrites and cause both Jaebeom Hyung and my sister the loss of each other, or are you going to uphold the reputation of Ahgases as the best and most loyal fandom every and support Jaebeom Hyung dating my sister?"

To my side, Jaebeom Hyung had dropped to his knees, basically begging for acceptance. I'd intended it as a rhetorical question, but slowly the audience began clapping and the cheers began to increase in volume and intensity. I could make out a few shouts of '미안하다', 'We support you JB', '화이팅', '울지 마라 (Don't cry) JB', 'We love you no matter what', and more.

I looked down at Jaebeom and offered him my hand to help him up. He looked exhausted, both physically and emotionally. As he stood, he turned and gave be a hug and kept thanking me over and over again. I offered him the microphone and backed away heading towards the side of the stage and the exit but was intercepted by the other members who patted me on the back and ruffled my hair. Jackson picked me up in a bear hugged and shook me up and down in excitement.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Despair and loneliness at the thought of the impending breaking up Sharay had said would occur, if we weren't accepted, threatened to swallow me whole. It took a moment for me to realize that the hand on my shoulder belonged to Sharay's younger brother Daniel. I could barely discern what he was saying at first, but slowly his words started to filter through. He was controlling the audience like a pro, I thought. How bizarre that I could evaluate such things at a time like this!

I was amazed that this 13 year-old kid was able to steer and maneuver the crowd so deftly. Daniel alternated between encouraging them, berating them, reminding them of their prior responses to Sharay's good points when they had been unaware it was regarding her, and a straight up guilt trip. He put them in Sharay's shoes and helped them to envision me as a lifeless, listless corpse of an entertainer without her. Slowly, they started to reflect on their behavior and I started to see some possibility of hope.

I'd wonder how I could have been so wrong about how Ahgases would respond. As Daniel talked, I realized that they truly were a fantastic bunch of fans; they merely needed some guidance to get there.

As a thousand thoughts swirled through my head I wondered how Daniel got on stage without being stopped, if Sharay was okay, and whether other fans would react the way this crowd did in the beginning or after hearing Daniel. It was with that thought that I hoped there were people filming this whole thing so it could be uploaded. I only hoped it would play as well on video as it did live.

As Daniel wrapped up his comments, I dropped straight to my knees to make it clear that I was actually begging for their support. Over and over I mouthed the words. "Please!" and "제발!"

Finally, Daniel extended his hand and helped pull me to my feet. He gave me a hug and passed me the microphone before moving to head off stage. I saw the other guys embrace him and before he could escape to safety he was being shaken up and down by Jackson like a he was a portable jackhammer.

I couldn't form any words just yet, but instead bowed at a full 90 degrees. Finally, I stood upright and brought the microphone to my mouth. "Thank you," I said, my mouth still dry like I'd been chewing on sawdust. I was guardedly optimistic at this point. Knowing instinctively that we needed to end on a high note, I asked, "Would you all like one last song?"

Before waiting for an answer, I signaled the crew and the members. The lights went down and we got into place for a final number. I'd prepared this "Just in case," and was so glad I had.

We finished up the fan meet and went backstage to prepare for the High Touch and photo opportunity. I was emotionally a wreck but needed to speak with Sharay to make sure she was okay. I couldn't wait a couple of hours until we got back to the hotel. Picking up my cell, I called her.

"Yes," she answered.

"I love you. You know that, right? Know that I wouldn't have let you break up with me even if they'd never come around," and she quietly cried into the phone, probably as much out of relief as anything else. "I'll see you in a few hours, okay? Please tell Daniel I owe him big time!"

During the High Touch, just about everyone said they supported me and my girlfriend. Strange how no one admitted that they'd been one of the ones to boo or start off hating the idea of me dating. Funny thing is a lot of the younger girls wanted to know if they'd be seeing more of Daniel. Ha! He already had his own little fandom. Can't say he didn't earn it. Even during the group photo people were still talking about the dating thing.

As we got back to the hotel, I headed straight for Sharay's room. My knock on the door was promptly answered by TJ. She let me in and called, "Daniel, let's head down to the lobby for a bit," while she gave be a hug and nodded her head in understanding.

After Daniel and TJ closed the door, I briskly walked to the bedroom where Sharay was curled up. I could tell from her breathing that she was sleeping. Probably she was exhausted from the stress of it all. I crawled onto the bed beside her and wrapped my arms around my girl. She stirred and rolled over. Opening her eyes and seeing me beside her, she nestled in and held me tightly. It was enough to just lay there with her in my arms. I'd almost lost this and it still felt so fragile.

I knew about 50 videos were being posted that were supporting us, as we lay there in each other's arms. Over a dozen other idols and actors were also confessing that they were dating. It was hoped that having a number of such confessions at the same time would diffuse the attention on any one person.

Bambam, bless him, had arranged to have my comments and Daniel's recorded in HD and with direct audio feed from the microphone. That was also being uploaded too. Apparently, the members and Daniel had conspired while in Houston, so everything had been set in place in advance. Seeing the reaction of the fans tomorrow night during LA's second night would be the final test. For now, I was just going to focus on the moment. I was so thankful that the guys were behind me and that they had conspired with Daniel for his game changing involvement. I felt blessed to have their support and this girl of mine.

As sleep overtook me, I was vaguely aware of someone coming in the room and covering me with a blanket and lying down on the other bed nearby. My eyes were too heavy to open, but I assumed it was TJ. Just before succumbing to sleep I was able to mutter something I hoped remotely resembled, "엄마 감사합니다."

 

 


	32. Personal Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reporter interviews and Christmas at Sharay's lead to personal questions being asked, but not all receiving answers.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I felt like I was in a dark warm place. My limbs were heavy and my mind was groggy, but I had this sense of peace and belonging that made we want to stay put and ignore the voice that was calling my name.

"Jaebeom, you have to get up. It's 10am and Park Jin Young needs you to call him," I heard, as I felt someone gently rub my back in the way my mother did when I was a young student who didn't want to get up and go to school.

With a great deal of effort, I opened my eyes and saw that I had my arms wrapped around Sharay. She was facing me and nestled into the crook of my shoulder, her hand resting on my chest. I didn't want to move, but knew if I didn't get up now I would be overstepping the privilege granted to me by TJ last night.

I slowly extricated myself so as to avoid waking Sharay. As I lifter her head enough to pull my arm free, I realized that I wanted to wake up this way every day for the rest of my life. I knew I sounded like some cheesy Kdrama, but I didn't care. Once I had moved from the bed, Sharay stretched out, and her hands groped for my missing form in her sleep. A grin flashed across my facing, as I knew she felt the same about me.

I followed TJ into the hotel suite's living area, where Daniel teased me by wagging his finger in the air while clucking his teeth to imply "naughty naughty." I gave him a stern look that had him tucking his tail and running for cover.

"Park Jin Young called me as he, rightly, assumed you would be hard to reach this morning. He needs you to call right away. Something about a joint media interview at noon."

'S**t!' I thought. What was he up to now? I hadn't checked to see the reaction of our planned media blitz so didn't know how good or how bad things were. Guessed I better get moving.

"Ah, Jaebeom-ah!" glad you called, I heard JYP say after just a couple of rings. "I need you to get the guys together and meet up with a few of the online media outlets at noon. We have a room in the hotel set aside. They're doing it as a joint interview given the timing. I got them to agree that they would cover the entire comeback and not just your dating situation. That, of course, would be a portion of it. They also want to meet Sharay."

"No!" I fairly shouted into the phone. "She's not part of the deal. My promise was to let the fans know when I was dating. I never promised I'd parade her in front of them. She's not a celebrity and needs her privacy protected."

"You need to negotiate that with them on the front end of the interview yourself. Just be in the hotel conference room with the members at noon. And by the way, let me tell you how proud I am of you. You did a great job of coordinating that media response. Even SM, YG, Big Hit, and other agency heads are getting on board given so many of their artists have already spoken out. You truly are a leader of leaders."

With that he hung up, leaving me reeling from the unsolicited compliment and feeling a bit like I'd been set up. Looking up, I saw Sharay standing in the doorway rubbing her eyes.

"You need me to be there," she said as a half statement half question.

"What JYP thinks we need and what I'm willing to do are two very different things. I'm not having you part of some dog and pony show. Never!"

"Jaebeom, I can't be invisible forever. You knew that. I knew that. Isn't it better to get it all done with in one fell swoop?" Her words sounded confident, but her tone was hesitant.

Walking over to her, I enveloped her in my arms and said, "But I don't want to share you or put you in the line of fire. Even though many may support us, you saw how it was last night. Words can hurt and I don't want you to be on the receiving end of any of that."

"Jaebeom-Hyung?" I heard Daniel say. He'd been nearby quietly licking his wounds from my earlier admonishment.

"What?" I inquired. This kid was full of insight and really understood people. Maybe he had an idea that would accomplish both goals. Continuing with care, he suggested, "How about you meet with them first, just you and the members. Then after focusing on the tour, you can offer to introduce them to Sharay on condition they don't take any photos. They can use the grainy footage from the fan meet with Jackson, if they want visuals. It's not perfect, but it might be a decent compromise. My bet is they'll go with it, as the alternative is that they get nothing at all."

I exchanged glances with Sharay, who nodded her head. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, I asked her, "Are you sure?" to which I received a tight but firm smile.

"If they ask anything you're uncomfortable with, you don't have to respond. You know that, right?"

This drew a laugh from Sharay who commented, "Have you EVER seen me lose a battle of words, Im Jaebeom?"

To that, I had to laugh. Sharay was quick witted and was not one to feel pressured by others. One of the things I loved about her was her independent streak. She was not inclined to follow along with the crowd, especially if she felt the crowd was going in the wrong direction. She could be blunt when need be, and as she was wont to say, 'sarcasm was her second language.'

"Okay then. After we grab a bite, let me go shower and get ready. You too. I'll call the boys and fill them in on the game plan. I want you to be on standby. Don't come until I call you though. If they don't agree to the ground rules, they get nothing."

Daniel offered, "Mom ordered room service. It should be here any minute. Jaebeom, maybe I shouldn't go tonight as I was photographed quite a bit last night and Sharay will be identified by association if I sit near here and Mom." As always, this kid was one step ahead of the game.

"Good thinking, but I'd really like you there. You were our ace in the hole last night. How about you hang out by the side of the stage just in case?"

"That would be so cool, Hyung! I can do that!"

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I was nervous waiting to hear from Jaebeom. It was already 12:30pm and he'd yet to call. In anticipation, I'd allowed him to put on a tiny bit of make up for me. Bambam wanted to select my clothing so "I could make a strong impression." Even though cameras wouldn't be allowed, they were all looking out for me and doing whatever they could to win over those reporters who would be in attendance. Apparently, there would be people from Koreabo, AllKpop, Soompi, and Billboard. Not exactly the most reputable of sites and no guarantee they would report in a friendly supportive way, but they were widely known and popular. It was up to the guys to lead the interview in a way that served them best.

I could hear the entire interview as it was proceeding, since Bambam had set up a one way audio for my benefit. They'd sent reporters who spoke Korean, but that wasn't a problem for me. It sure made it easier on the members who weren't as fluent as Jaebeom, Mark, Bambam, and Jackson. Because of this audio access, I was aware of their names and what had already been covered, so I was a bit better prepared when my phone notification buzzed. // _I'll be there to get you in a moment_ //

As I waited for Jaebeom to come, I wondered what kind of questions they would ask me and my palms started to sweat. Taking a deep breath, I stood, ran a brush through my hair, again, and smoothed out my shirt. As was my habit when tense, I cracked my knuckles. Jaebeom walked in as I was doing that. Damn. I didn't want him to see that.

"A touch stressed?" he offered.

"Not now that you're here," I quipped looking at my hand that he held firmly and confidently. "Let's do this. By the way, I'm too slender to be an elephant! And I wasn't in the room."

Jaebeom's laughter rang out and I could tell my teasing him helped release his pent up tension; like my knuckle cracking had for me.

"Come on my little Dumbo!"

"I'll get you for that," I said while play punching him in the stomach.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The first half of the interview was focused on our comeback and the tour in the States thus far. We covered the addition of another city on the tour, my English skills, future collaboration with Lin-Manuel Miranda, as well as the new games we played with the fans. We talked about how great the fans had been, and everything except Sharay.

"So," I ventured. "We've talked about just about everything except the elephant in the room. Would you like to meet Sharay?"

The energy level in the room spiked as the represented agency reporters all but frothed at the mouth over the possibility of meeting Sharay.

"If you want to meet her, you have to dismiss your photographers and agree not to take any photos with you cells or personal cameras. Deal or no deal?"

I could see everyone shifting in their seats. They needed this interview, but they were disinclined to forego the photo opportunity.

"No problem," I said as I stood and signaled for the boys to do the same.

"Wait!" they all but shouted in unison. "Deal," they said, as they dismissed their photographers.

As the boys sat down again, I approached each of the reporters one by one. Holding out my hand I said bluntly, "Cell." Reluctantly they each relinquished their mobile devices to me.

I'll be back in a moment," I said and left the room to get Sharay. She was waiting in the adjacent room and, unbeknownst to the reporters had heard the entire interview thus far.

As I walked in the room, she was cracking her knuckles; a sure sign she was stressed. We bantered back and forth a bit to relieve tension then, hand in hand, walked into the conference room together.

I have to say the reporters tried not to gasp when they saw Sharay, but they were unsuccessful. They blurted out in Korean everything from, 'She looks so young,' 'what beautiful eyes," and 'Daebak!' Guess they didn't remember or know that she spoke Korean. 'This ought to be fun' I thought, as I turned and winked at Sharay.

The room was set up with a couch and several chairs behind it. That's where we'd been sitting. In front of us were the reporters. Jinyoung, who had been sitting next to me during the previous segment of the interview, had shifted over to leave room for Sharay. As we sat down, Jackson who was behind Sharay gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder and a quick squeeze of reassurance. God how I love these guys!

The first reporter began speaking English, when Sharay politely interrupted him and said in Korean, "Please. Continue speaking comfortably in Korean so all can understand. Even though I am still learning, I'm sure I can follow along quite well. I may need some guidance on colloquial expressions and I'm not as well versed on Korean customs as I need to be. I thank you for your guidance."

Jaws dropped. It was almost comical. I mean this was like right out of a cartoon where the jaws hit the floor in shock and surprise. It took them a few beats to recover and then they launched in with their questions after introducing themselves. I planned on jumping in and responding to some of the question they had of Sharay so she wouldn't be questioned shotgun style. We'd discussed this before hand and she seemed comfortable that I had her back.

**╔══════ .☆。• *₊°。 ✮° ═════╗**

**The Interview**

**╚═════ .☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。 ═════╝**

_⋘Reporters R1, R2 and R3 and R4. Standard GOT7 abbreviations: JB, M, JS, JY, YJ, BB, and YG⋙_

**R1** \- How long have you been studying Korean?

 **Sharay** – About 6 months since I started teaching Jaebeom English, though I knew a few words and expressions before that from KPOP songs and some Kdramas.

 **BB** – She learned way faster that Jackson, Mark, and I did!

 **JS** – That's for sure. Especially Mark. He doesn't even talk much in English!

 **R2** – You look so young. How old are you and are you still in school.

 **JB** – Sharay's been attending college for a couple of years and, yes, she does look very young for her age.

 **Sharay** – Youthful looks run in the family. Good genetics. My grandmother lived until she was 108.

We'd successfully sidestepped the issue of her age.

 **R4** – JB, when you met Sharay, what was your first impression of her?

 **JB** – She reminded me of one of my cats. She has beautiful green eyes, as you can see. In addition to that, she is fiercely independent, intelligent, and not likely to suffer fools. I know because I got a verbal clawing because of my first comment.

 **R3** – What did you say?

 **JB** – I made a rather forward comment about her eyes before introductions were even made and she put me right in my place. It was the first time since I was a gawky teen that I'd been shut down so fast. It was new; refreshing actually, and rather intrigued me.

 **R4** – What was your first impression of JB?

 **Sharay** – I'd rather not say.

 **JB** \- *laughing* That means it was a bad impression and she's trying to be diplomatic. I think she thought I was rather cocky and full of myself.

 **R2** \- *laughing* Is that true?

 **Shara** y – First impressions aren't always accurate.

 **R1** – So what is your impression of JB now and when did it change?

 **Sharay** – It was the little things. Like when I made breakfast or baked cookies; he always said thank you and complimented my skills. He also helped clean up after friends had come over. They left a mess and he pitched in without making a big to do about it. Also from day one he was a hard worker. He put in between 6 and 8 solid hours of learning English in a formal setting each day and then had to speak English the rest of the time as well. He never once complained, though I had him adding 30-50 new vocab words each day and drilled him relentlessly.

 **JB** – I think Sharay stole my heart the moment I met her. It just took me a while to figure out that's what had happened. On the first morning she made fried chicken and jasmine rice for breakfast! That's my love language. The guys call me "one bite" for a reason. I'm a foodie. She also makes chocolate chip cookies from scratch. I mean she actually mills her own wheat! They're the best cookies ever! I couldn't believe her friends left her to bake in the kitchen while they goofed off and then scarfed down the cookies without some much as a thank you. Then they left a mess for her to cleanup. There was a quiet peace when we worked together like that. I can't explain it. We didn't need words. We just knew what needed to be done.

 **R1** – JB equated you with a cat. Since we all know he loves and dotes on his cats, we can assume that is high praise. How would you describe him?

 **Sharay** \- A hot water bottle. He's warm and caring, but from the outside and from a distance people may not see that.

 **JB** \- *laughing* Sorry that's an inside reference.

 **R4** \- Care to share?

 **JB** and **Sharay** together – NO!

 **R2** – When did you confess to Sharay and how did you do it?

 **JB** – We'd like to keep the specifics of that private, but suffice it to say that I botched the first attempt and nearly blew it completely.

 **R** 3 – Has there been any tension with the members because you're dating?

*Everyone looks at Jackson

 **JS** – Why're you looking at me? I was just her game partner. It's not my fault. I didn't know she knew JB Hyung or that he liked her. We didn't know she was his English instructor until later.

 **JB** – Let's just say Jackson has good taste in women and I went a little overboard.

 **BB** and **YG** – A little? More like ballistic!

 **JY** – It was a clear misunderstanding. Jackson took Sharay's phone during the fan meet and called himself so he'd have her number. He planned on calling her later.

 **JS** – Hey! She helped me out with her words.

 **M** – I stirred the pot and made things worse. But everything is good now.

 **YJ** – Wow! Mark spoke!

 **R1** – So, Sharay, what do you think about the members?

 **Sharay** – I only have a younger brother. It's nice to have 6 older brothers.

 **R3** – You said 6 older brothers. That means you're younger than Yugyeom?

 **YG** – Even Bambam thinks of me as an older brother sometimes cuz I act mature and am so tall (deflecting the age issue)

 **BB** – That's true. Most people think of me as the Maknea. Now we have Daniel to pick on!

 **R3** – JB what do your parents think about you dating a foreigner?

 **JB** – I'm not sure I like that question. Why wouldn't they like the girl I date? Regardless of nationality, my parents trust my judgment. Sharay's parents have no trouble with her dating a foreigner either. It's a nonplayer.

 **R2** – Sharay have you met JB's parents yet?

Sharay – I've spoken with them on the phone using Snapchat.

 **R3** – Haven't there been some cultural issues?

 **J** B – Nothing that communication can't overcome. Even people from the same place have traditions and differences. Ours might be a bit more obvious, but we are open with each other.

 **R1** – Isn't it difficult to maintain a long distance relationship, especially with your schedule JB?

 **JB** \- Having a long distance relationship for several months has helped us to communicate even better. Every Korean male serves in the military and has to go nearly two years with limited communication. I figure this is practice for that. Long distance and schedule challenges either make a break a relationship. With us it strengthened it.

 **R3** – You're not due to enlist for several years, yet you're already talking about how you and Sharay will deal with that separation. So you're planning on a long term relationship? Have you talked about marriage? Haven't you only just started dating?

 **JB** – It'd be stupid to enter a relationship thinking it was only temporary or short term. Why date if you're already planning on breaking up?

 **R** 3 – But have you talked about marriage?

 **JB** – We know what the other is looking for in a life partner and we're in agreement on many things like children and living situations etc. I do have an eye on the future. Leave it at that.

 **R3** – Sharay, have you ever dated before?

 **Sharay** – No.

 **R3** – So Jaebeom is your first boyfriend? Your first kiss?

 **Sharay** – I think you answered that already yourself.

 **R3** – So does he wear boxers or briefs?

 **JB** – What the ...! That's enough. You're way out of line with that question. Would you have asked a Korean girl that question? I think not. Show some respect.

 **BB** \- I know the answer to that question.

 **JS** – So do all of us members! And we're not gonna tell. *laughing*

 **YJ** \- You assume he even wears anything!!

 **M** – Totally inappropriate question.

 **R1** – I apologize on behalf of R3. His questions have been far too personal in nature. I would like to thank you both for willingly meeting with us.

 **R2** – I agree. It has been a pleasure meeting you Sharay. I wish you both the best.

 **R3** – I was only asking what our readers would want to know. I didn't mean to offend.

 **M** – That means you knew what you were asking would be offensive.

 **R4** \- I, for one, will not include the questionable things in my report. Can we all agree to that *looks pointedly at R3*

 **R1** – I'll agree to that. Is there a chance in the future you will allow further interviews and maybe photographs of you and Sharay?

 **JB** – Not in the immediate future. She's not a celebrity, so I'd appreciate it if you'd allow her some privacy. Over time that's a different story. I promised our fans I would let them know when I was dating. I didn't promise to parade her around and disrupt her life. I trust you understand. *Standing up to leave*

 **Sharay** – Thank you for meeting with us. *standing up and bowing*

 **JY** – Thanks for saying in the beginning that this was being recorded. That allowed us to as well. I trust misrepresentation of the interview will not occur. *glaring at R3 who squirmed a bit under the intense gaze of the member known as the savage mom of GOT7*

*GOT7 Manager escorts reporters from the room*

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

"Remind me to never interview with that jerk reporter (referring to R3) ever again. What organization was he with again? Oh right, now I remember. That explains a lot. At least the other three seem decent. Let's hope they write it up well."

I turned to Sharay and said, "You did beautifully. As expected."

"I thought you were gonna hit him when he asked about the boxers and briefs," chimed in Jackson.

"That would have made headlines," acknowledged Bambam.

"Actually, Jinyoung was about to hit him on my behalf," I said pounding my JJP partner affectionately on the shoulder. "Is that why you were so quiet? Were you monitoring things for us? I loved your parting comment. That was fantastic."

"Yes. I'd been given advanced warning that one reporter tended to dredge up dirt and smut when he could, so JYP asked me to keep a low profile and jump in if needed. Turns out you two had it covered quite well as it was," reported Jinyoung. "As a safeguard, we did record the entire session. Remember, Bambam asked in the beginning if recording was being done and they said yes. That gave us the authority to do so too. Just in case any of them twist the facts, we can slam them. I think my little warning at the end will keep even that jerk in line."

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

"That was exhausting," I said as we collapsed onto the couch in our room where all the members had gathered, some spilling on the floor for lack of chairs.

"I hope you all have the energy to head over to my parents' place for a get together tomorrow. They've wanted to meet Sharay since last night and feel cheated that I didn't tell them," added Mark.

"As long as it's just your folks and no one else," Jaebeom offered, trying to tactfully avoid mentioning his concern about Mark's friends.

"I'd be just them, Joey, and Grace. Tammy is busy and we have only the one day together before you and Sharay leave, so I'll meet up with my other friends on a different day," Mark assured him, looking a little chagrined knowing that Jaebeom had gone back and viewed the comments by Mark's friends and all the ongoing things from 2016 that he'd missed due to the language barrier before. Jaebeom hadn't passed judgment, but wanted to avoid the whole thing just on the safe side.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

We all decided that a rest would be the best thing before heading over to the venue for our last fan meet of the tour. I reluctantly let Sharay stay with her mom and brother, returning to my room alone. Maybe it was just as well. I did need the rest. These last few days had been very stressful.

Later in the afternoon, the guys and I headed to the concert hall and practiced a bit. By this time the interview had been posted on line with all four media agencies. Apparently, they'd decided that a joint presentation would be best and they, thankfully, left out the questions about marriage, dating a foreigner, and the bit about boxers and briefs. If I didn't miss my bet, Jinyoung's parting shot whipped three of reporters into line and they strong-armed the last one to go along with them. All in all, the interview was a decent one and would be helpful at best, harmless at the worst.

The fan meet itself also went well. The fans, for the most part, seemed to have accepted my announcement and were back to their supportive ways. I saw a number of signs that said things like "Dating is not a scandal" and "We still love you JB', as well as one "Good luck JB and Sharay."

Other media attention in Korean and the KPOP world seemed focus on the need to support and destigmatize dating as a scandal. The efforts of the other idols and actors, followed up by a number of agencies, seemed to have worked even better than we expected.

The day after the fan meet, we headed over to the Tuan's for a Bar-B-Q. It was a relaxed atmosphere and TJ hit it off with Raymond and Dorine really well. As usually, Daniel fit right in with Mark's siblings. I swear that kid could be dropped anywhere and within minutes would make friends.

As much as I enjoyed the meal and the company, I was looking forward to the next day when I headed out to Florida to spend Christmas with Sharay and her family. Sharay, TJ, and Daniel were leaving later tonight, so we weren't seen traveling together. Though we'd announced our dating and it wasn't a secret, I wanted to do this more to protect her from media scrutiny and unnecessary publicity.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

The reaction to Jaebeom and me dating seemed to be far less than anticipated. This was a good thing, but almost seemed too easy. So did the get-together over at Mark's. His parents were just the nicest people and I enjoyed meeting his younger brother and one of his sisters. By the time we settled in on our flight home, I was looking forward to a quiet Christmas.

We arrived home at the crack of dawn Friday morning because of the time difference between California and Florida. Jaebeom was due in late Friday evening. I set about making sure my presents for him were wrapped and under the tree. I was a little nervous given the disparity between what he'd done for me and what I had for him, but there wasn't much I could do about that now. He'd agreed not to exchange gifts with my folks since we'd had the opportunity to go to all the cities during the tour at JYP's expense and that was more than enough. He said just getting to spend the holidays with us would be the best gift ever. I knew he had something for Daniel, and Daniel had planned something for Jaebeom too, but it would be a small and quiet gift exchange come Monday.

Picking Jaebeom up at the airport on Friday evening was interesting. I'd seen him just the day before, but I still got butterflies when I saw him saunter towards me in the terminal. As usually, he had a carry-on only, opting to send his large suitcase back with the GOT7 crew and staff.

Stopping in front of me, he smiled down at me and said, "It's easy to find you because of those most beautiful green eyes," harking back to his first words to me.

His grin spread as he said this and his eyes turned into tiny slits. "Still not sure how you can see anything when you do that," I quipped and stood up on my tip toes to give him a peck on the lips.

"You call that a kiss?" he responded and forcefully pulled be to him and kissed me deeply right there in front of everyone!

Pulling back, I noticed no one had paid us any attention, but my heart was still racing, more from the kiss than anything else.

"Jaebeom!" I chided, before turning what I could tell was a deep shade of pink based on the heat I felt emanating from my cheeks.

"What?" he asked with a devilish grin. "Want more?'

"Actually, yes," I admitted. "Just not here."

Taking me by the hand, we departed for the parking garage and for home.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I felt liberated and at home when I landed at the Fort Myers airport. I decided to throw caution to the wind and approached Sharay with pretty much the same pick up line I had unintentionally made that first day we'd met. I was rewarded with a quick kiss. Far better than what I'd received six months before, but far less than what I was willing to settle for. After an almost indecent kiss in response, we left for "home."

It felt as though I'd never left, only better. On December 23rd we attended a candlelight Christmas service at church and I had a chance to catch up with those on the worship team for a bit. On Christmas Eve we drove around the local neighborhoods taking in some of the fantastic lighting and decorations that were up.

Christmas morning was a bit of a surprise. I wasn't expecting everyone to take things so casually. Everyone got showered, dressed, and ate. Mid morning Sharay's grandmother arrived and we read the Christmas story from Luke, then proceeded to open our stockings.

I hadn't expected a stocking, but there was one for me. Not only that, but there was an engraved ornament with 'Jaebeom 2017' on it. I was told this was a Christmas tradition that each kid received every year until they moved into a place of their own. Every year the ornaments were sewn on to the stocking and, when they moved out, they would take the stocking, cut off the ornaments and use them to decorate their very own first Christmas tree. I felt honored to be included in this tradition. My ornament was a reindeer.

Also in the stockings were two cans of Silly String. Even Grandma had some. We all went out into the front yard and had a massive Silly String fight. Given that the weather was warm, we were in T-shirts and jeans, this offered a Florida version of a traditional snowball fight. After all the cans were emptied, we gathered up the colorful spray from the yard and, much to my delight, it was deposited on my head as this year's Silly String Champion. Selcas were taken and everyone was having a grand time.

After the stockings were emptied, we proceeded to have the best Honey Baked Ham ever, with baked potatoes loaded with butter, sour cream and black pepper, green beans that had been steamed to perfection in garlic water, corn, and apricot jam as a side for the ham.

Sam had made his famous Apple pie and Sharay her blue chocolate chip cookies. After coffee and a nice chat around the table, Sharay and I headed into the kitchen to do the dishes. It was like we hadn't been apart at all. My level of peace and happiness was at an all time high by the time we headed into the living room to open presents.

Daniel was playing "Santa." There were four presents for me under the tree: one from Daniel and three from Sharay. As I opened the gifts from Sharay I knew for sure I'd found my soul mate. One was a small box containing a set of earrings. They were one of a kind. She'd reached out to artist @abimabima to design a set of dangling earrings featuring my three cats climbing up a gold chain rope in various stages of play. Apparently she'd taken the drawings to a local jeweler and had them handcrafted. The cats were colored in enamel to match their fur color and markings. I was thrilled with them. The second gift was a beautiful leather bound notebook in which I could write my ideas for lyrics. The final gift was actually for Nora, Kunta, and Odd. It was a remote control mouse cat toy that whirled around on the ground and could be batted about by them. Sharay got then a ring too, that this "mouse" could run around in. I just knew they would love it and that I'd enjoy watching them play with it.

"Perfect!" I exclaimed. It was true. She got me the best gifts ever.

I was amazed by this family and my girl. There was no mad rush for presents and when they'd been opened, each was well thought out and personal. For Daniel, Sharay made a scavenger hunt a part of the process. This too was, apparently, a Christmas and Birthday tradition she had done for him since he was little. The focus was on the real meaning of Christmas and family. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It was such a nice way to celebrate that I asked if it had always been this way and was told yes.

"As a child this was all I knew, so I didn't expect anything different," offered Sharay. "I always thought it was weird that other people rushed to open their presents rather than to savor the moment and enjoy it."

Sitting next to her on the love seat, after all gifts had been exchanged and opened, I leaned over and whispered, "Let's do it like this when we have children, okay?"

Sharay would have fallen over if she hadn't already been seated. She just stared at me with wide eyes.

"What, did you think I was joking around the morning after I confessed to you? Remember? I asked you then how long I'd have to wait between asking you to be my girl and getting you to say you'd be my wife. I meant that."

 

 


	33. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharay surprises Jaebeom with an early arrival in Korea and the B***h from the summer's photo scandal plays a mean girl trick on Sharay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some very suggestive and heated scenes. Reader be warned!

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was trying to figure out if Sharay was lucky or very shrewd. When I had to leave earlier than expected from Florida, she saw me off at the airport and gave me a present and card with instructions that it was for my birthday. She said it would be useful for my Birthday Vlive event. Didn't know what she meant by that at the time, as I was still fuming about the fact that Park Jin Young had, yet again, reneged on his promise about how long I would get to stay with Sharay. I resented him for making me leave two days after Christmas instead of after the New Year.

On my birthday I was actually in Hong Kong and nearly forgot to bring Sharay's present with me. Fortunately, Bambam reminded me that I needed to do a Vlive while we were away and that tickled my memory that I "needed" her gift.

Sitting in our hotel room, I opened her card first.

_Jaebeom,_

_I know you love your oversized shirts, but your fans appreciate seeing your physique from time to time. Trust me on this. I'll be watching. Happy Birthday!_

_Love ya,_

_Sharay_

_PS. I like your physique too!_

I had to laugh at her note. As I opened the present I pulled out very soft red shirt with "Write like you're running out of time." Yes, this was going to be a form fitting shirt, but Sharay knew me well enough that comfort was a priority and the shirt certainly seemed designed for that. I ripped off the shirt I was wearing and pulled on the one Sharay had given me, then I covered it with a hoodie and set up to begin my Vlive.

As the Vlive for my birthday began, I mentioned that my girlfriend got me a shirt, and asked those watching if they wanted to see. Though there were a few comments that were negative, a number asked for me to show them. Taking Sharay at her word, I stood up and turned around, back to the camera and peeled off my hoodie, knowing this would flex my back muscles. As I turned back around and started reading the comments, I had to smile. Sharay was right. The fans seemed to really like the shirt! And, there were numerous comments thanking her for my gift. I think I need to listen to my girl more often.

Can I just say how happy I am that Sharay doesn't feel compelled to spend tons of money on gifts? I mean, my fans send me really nice things, but sometimes the extravagance is over the top. I really don't need or want expensive gifts just because of the label. That's not who I am. Yeah, I like Ventiments and Supreme, but it's because they're comfortable, not because of the label. A decent hoodie from the market would suit me just as fine, truth be told, but I do get sponsored by some of these brand labels so, why not wear them?

The next several weeks were wild. We had our two day long 4th Anniversary fan meet, a trip to Guangzhou for a fan sign, and several other events. I was missing Sharay like crazy and was finding it a challenge to even get time to chat with her on Skype every few days. I was holding out for March when she was planning on coming for a visit, but that was still a couple of weeks away.

I was tired. It'd been a long day and the Valentine's Special was over. We had an obligatory after party to attend, but at least some of my friends from other groups were there to keep me occupied and Sharay was 14 hours behind us in time, so I'd still have time to call her and wish her a Happy Valentine's before the day was over for her.

I was talking with Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jimin when my phone vibrated. Looking down I saw a group message to all the members from Park Jin Young:

// _Look but don't touch_ //

What the heck did that mean? I scanned the room for the other guys and caught the eye of Jackson, Bambam, and Jinyoung first. Each of them shrugged and gestured "What the...?" Looking around the room, none of us saw anything that prompted a response to the message, so I turned back to my conversation.

About ten minutes later, I felt a physical shift in the room. Turning around to see what was causing the buzz, I found my answer.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I had been busy the past weeks trying to get ready for my trip to Korea. Between packing, and switching my classes at university from classroom courses to an online distance schedule, I was glad Jaebeom had been busy or he would have known something was up. He was under the impression that I was going to come for a visit in March, not planning on moving there to work as a JYPE employee set to become the English language instructor for the groups and trainees starting in mid-February.

Now I was nervously sitting in my hotel room with stylists racing around doing my hair, makeup, and selecting clothing for me. Park Jin Young had decided it was time my name and face be shown, and he planned to make it public. Very public. I figured the day would come sometime, and was resigned to it, but I hadn't expected this so soon or I would have told Jaebeom. It was too late for that now though.

It felt really weird having anyone other than Jaebeom do my makeup. I had to stress several times that I needed it to be lightly done. I felt like I was being experimented on since the girl wasn't exactly used to dealing with Caucasian complexion or eyes. In the end, she did a decent job and my eyes were nicely enhanced without looking garish.

The dress Mr. Park had selected for me was beautiful. Sure, I would have felt way more comfortable in jeans, a baggy T-shirt, and my Army jacket, but even I had to admit that the color and style looked good on me. Fortunately, I was slender and had decent muscles allowing for the snug fit to show maybe more than I'd ever planned. I was thankful that the stylist opted for a simple hair style. It was pulled back from my face into a simple high pony tail, allowing my long, straight, blonde hair to fall freely down my back. It looked really nice juxtaposed against the navy of the dress. Around my neck was the silver ring Jaebeom had given me. It also was nicely set off by the dark blue of the dress.

As I walked into the hotel ballroom with the CEO of JYP Entertainment, I scanned the room for the one person I wanted, needed, to see. It took barely a moment before I spotted him. He was standing at the far side with his back to me. I smiled at the thought that amidst all these beautiful people and tons of men in suits that I could pick him out so easily.

Jaebeom was wearing black pants and a matching jacket. His broad shoulders made him stand out from the others in the crowd. His stance was also very familiar to me. He had his head cocked to the side, showing he was intently listening to the conversation. His arms were casually crossed in front of him and he was resting with his weight on his left leg and his posture was slouched, as was his habit. Even in an elegant suit, he sported tennis shoes. Smart boy looking out for his back! He looked so chic and sexy that all I could do was stare at him and smile.

Jaebeom was talking to three other guys. I recognized them immediately as RM, V and Jimin from BTS. Jaebeom towered over Jimin, and I could see the dimples in RM's face easily from yards away. They were deep as pits! V was as cute and handsome as could be, making me understand why my mom said he was her BTS bias.

It was only when I heard Mr. Park say my name that I looked around the room and saw almost every eye was on me. Looking back to Jaebeom, I saw him snap his head around and lock eyes with me. He paused for a moment and then started making his way across the room towards me.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Sharay was here! That's what Park Jin Young meant when he sent the text. To hell with him. I started weaving my way through the crowd toward my girl. I was acutely aware that everyone was looking at her; wondering who she was. Well, they were going to find out soon enough.

As I approached, Park Jin Young made it clear with his eyes and body language that I had to play things very cool, since everyone was focused on him and the girl on his arm. Every single pore in my body was screaming that I needed to hold her, but as I neared her, I could tell Sharay understood what was going down. She smiled at me and bowed her head slightly to me as they walked to the front of the room away from me.

Park Jin Young has a very identifiable voice, so when his voice projected over the speakers from the microphone in his hand, all conversation ceased.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to announce that JYPE has taken steps to ensure our talent has the best training available in every area of the industry. To that end, I would like to introduce Sharay, who will be starting with our agency. She was instrumental in the rapid and fluent learning of English by JB of GOT7. Jaebeom-ah, would you join us?"

I walked over and JYP nim pulled me in with a great big side bear hug. As he did he whispered, "it's your call how you want to take it from here", handed me the microphone and walked away leaving me standing next to Sharay.

Clearing my throat, which went suddenly dry, I began, "It is a great pleasure for me to introduce to you both my English instructor and my girlfriend."

The cameras started to flash, and the mummers around the room grew louder. Within moments we were surrounded by well wishers and, as we were caught up in the crowd, I was separated from Sharay by several meters.

I saw what was about to go down as if it were all in slow motion. The stalker tramp from the summer Awards Ceremony came up out of nowhere with a glass of dark liquid in hand. As she approached Sharay, she faked a trip and tossed the contents at Sharay who backed against a buffet table that was at the head of the room. I couldn't intercept the liquid, however, Sharay seemed to be equally aware of what was about to happen. She reached behind and grabbed an empty tray from the table and held it in front like a shield. As she did so, the liquid hit the flat surface and ricocheted off and back onto the one who'd tossed it.

In an instant, there was a cry from the lady, (and I use that term lightly) that the rest of GOT7 had been calling my "stalker', and accusations that Sharay had done it on purpose to ruin her white dress. Sharay was dumbfounded as the girl grabbed her arm and dragged her towards the ladies room demanding she pay for the insult.

I tried to follow, but my path was blocked by too many people who were taking sides as to who was at fault. I tried to stop the negative comments and accusations that were being thrown at Sharay, when Bambam, pulled my sleeve and said he's recorded the whole thing. Apparently, he'd been apprised that JYP nim was going to make an announcement and had been asked to film it. He'd still had his recorder running when the incident occurred.

I took a moment to check out the footage, which clearly showed who was in the wrong. While I was doing this, the rest of the members joined me and Bambam and quickly came up with a plan to rehabilitate Sharay's reputation.

As soon as I could, I made my way towards the ladies room to find Sharay and make sure she wasn't taking any further abuse. Jackson followed me, but as we approached the restroom, my stalker emerged wearing Sharay's dress. In a loud voice, she announced to anyone who would listen that it was her summer "relationship" with me that had made Sharay jealous and lash out. Since this was a big night for networking, they had resolved the situation with Sharay offering to take responsibility and trading dresses so she could continue at the party appropriately attired.

I almost laughed at how ridiculous this sounded, not to mention how ill-fitting Sharay's dress looked on 'Stalker chick.' Though I doubted anyone believed this story, I was concerned that Sharay had yet to emerge and went to enter the restroom.

"Hold on," urged Jackson. "Give it a moment. We also need to make sure Bambam has his part ready before you do anything rash."

I was reticent to wait, but gave it a short time during which two other women departed from the bathroom. They were whispering and giggling, as if there was something funny going on. Jackson, meanwhile, stopped three other women from entering the restroom in anticipation of me going in. I wanted to enter and have it only be me and Sharay.

The moments ticked by slowly and I was getting really antsy when Jackson said, "Okay, Bambam is on standby. Go check on her."

I fairly flew into the bathroom. "Sharay! Are you okay. Where are you?"

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I thought Kdrama mean girls were nothing but overactive imaginations on the part of writers. I had no idea that the scripts involving b***h girls were based on real people, but I found out in a very tangible way that they were.

I was several meters away from Jaebeom after he announced publicly that I was both his English instructor and girlfriend, when seemingly out of nowhere I spotted the girl who had tried to set Jaebeom up this past summer in a dating scandal. I noted that she had a glass of wine or something red or dark in her hand, but that she wasn't holding it like you would something you were going to drink. I guess dabbling in writing myself paid off, as it occurred to me in a split second that she was going to throw it at me.

I stumbled backwards, bumping into the buffet table that was behind me and my hand fell on a cold flat object. I clutched it in my hand and raised it up just in the nick of time to shield myself from the splash of liquid aimed right at me. I was surprised that the tray I'd grabbed successfully deflected the contents of the glass and rebounded from whence it came. I was doubly startled when the lady, her white dress now drenched in red liquid, grabbed my hand and dragged me away towards the bathroom. If I'd had my tennis shoes on, rather than these d**n heels, I could have prevented her from maneuvering me but, as it was, I was lucky to keep my balance as she yanked me off.

Finally, as we arrived in the ladies room, she began hurling insults at me and screaming at the top of her lungs that I'd ruined her night and the chance for her to be "discovered." She demanded that I trade dresses with her so that she could continue her networking and insisted that I take her dress and leave for the rest of the evening.

"What makes you think I would ever do that?" I asked her incredulously. 'I mean did she think I was stupid? I'm not stupid.'

"If you don't do as I say, I'll create a scandal that'll make the one from summer seem mild. Even when it proves to be false down the line, it'll do plenty of damage to GOT7, JYPE, and JB." With a sneer, she added, "I'll tell everyone that you're pregnant and under-age!"

Okay, no one would believe I was pregnant. My dress was all but spray painted on and I didn't have even an ounce of fat much less a "baby bump, but the bit about being under-age was a bit trickier as I was only 18 and we'd implied I was a bit older by focusing on my years in college rather than the year in which I was born.

Not wanting to tip my hand that I was concerned about her threat, I offered, "Look, no one is going to believe either of those, but I hate parties on a good day, so how about we call it even and switch dresses any way?"

I could only hope she would fall for it and not follow though even if we exchanged dresses.

Shoving me into a stall, she demanded, "Take off you dress and hand it over to me. I'll do the same with mine."

Reluctantly, I removed the beautiful (dry) blue dress and stood in the stall in nothing but my panties, panty hose, and shoes. Maybe I am a bit too trusting, but I threw the dress over the side of the stall and she rapidly snatched it away.

I waited a moment as I heard her remove her dress, but when no white dress was sent in return, I called out, "Hey, where's your dress? What's taking so long?"

I heard the latch on her stall door click and the door bang on her way out as she let out a devious and throaty laugh. Then I heard water running and the clack of heels leaving the bathroom. I called out several times for her to give me the dress, but all I heard was the echo of my own voice.

Did you know that February in Korea is cold? Actually, February in Korea is extremely cold, and the heating in the restroom was subpar to say the least. I was shivering and covered in goose bumps wondering exactly how I was going to get out of this situation when I heard my name being called.

"Sharay! Are you okay. Where are you?"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

"Jaebeom?" I heard Sharay respond in a quiet voice. "Is that you? Is anyone else with you?"

"Just me. She left a moment ago in your dress. She said you switched and I waited a moment, but when you didn't emerge...Are you okay?"

"Yes and no," she replied. I could hear her teeth chattering through the door. "Could you look and see where she left her dress and hand it to me, please. I'm a bit cold."

Looking around quickly, my heart sank and then my temper flared. The white dress was there alright, but it was in the sink and had been completely soused with water. There was no way Sharay could wear it now.

"Sharay?" I prompted. "Could you open the door for me?"

"Um. Could you just throw it over? I'm not decent. I'm only in panties and hose."

I gulped audibly, as the vision of Sharay in limited attire flashed unbidden in my mind, before saying, "That won't work. She's soaked it. We need a different plan. Sweetheart. Unlatch the door and turn your back to it. I'm coming in."

I heard the click of the latch and saw the door swing a few centimeters open before coming to a rest.

"I'm coming in now, okay?" Though there was no response, I could imagine her nodding her head in acknowledgment.

Signaling to Jackson to keep everyone out, I carefully and slowly pushed the door ajar just enough for me to enter the stall. As I secured the door behind me, I turned and faced Sharay who had her back to me.

My heart started pounding in my chest, as I beheld her smooth bare back and shoulders. Her long legs were adorned with sheer pantyhose and the curve of her hips and waste caused me to take a sharp intake of air.

Sharay had her head bent forward and her arms were obviously across her chest. Her long blond pony tail brushed against her skin as she visibly shook from the cold. I quickly removed my jacket and placed it over the top of the door. Whether it was from rage at that B***h, or from the sight of Sharay all but naked in front of me, by fingers trembled as I removed the black shirt I was wearing leaving me bare-chested.

Once I'd removed the oversized dress shirt, I said, "Hold out your arms so I can get my shirt on you."

Dutifully, Sharay extended first one arm and then the other. As I dressed her I could see more goose bumps rise across her skin. After the shirt was in place I turned my back to her, giving her a bit of privacy.

Facing the door, I felt Sharay's arms snake across my torso. One hand rested on my chest, while the other was lower down on my stomach tracing my stomach muscles. I knew she hadn't had time to button up the shirt. This was not just because such little time had passed, but also because I could feel her soft cool skin against my back. Apparently, the shirt had billowed open as she'd turned around. The sensation of skin against skin was more than I could take as my heart raced and blood pumped furiously through by body.

I reached down and held Sharay's hands for a moment to sustain the contact for a bit before loosening her grip just enough that I could turn to face her. As I did, I caught a glimpse of part of one of her breasts, which caused me to lose all reasoning. I reached out and pulled her to me, but not before shamelessly, sliding my hand through the shirt's opening in the front so I could hold her, touching the smooth and cool skin of her back and baring even more of her chest as I pressed against her.

Sharay buried her head in my chest, embracing me tightly. She was shaking. I couldn't tell if it was from fear, anger, cold or a combination of them all. As we stood there in one another's arms, I was now acutely aware that my bare chest was pressed against her soft delicate skin. A heat burned through me as I pulled her closer and sought out her mouth, her neck and...

Abruptly I stopped. "Sharay," I said breathing in the scent of her through ragged gasps of passion. "You are worthy of more than this. As much as I want..." my voice trailed off, as I felt her fingers that had been moving down my stomach arrest their descent. She nodded against my chest and, as if by mutual understanding, we separated a touch.

"Are you still cold?" I inquired; looking at her face to ensure any answer she gave was the truth.

Sharay nodded her head as she turned a pretty shade of pink and attempted to button the shirt.

I reach over and held her hands for a moment, smiled, and said, "Let me help you with those." As I did I thought to myself 'Someday, maybe I'll get to help you undo buttons instead.'

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

With my back to the door, I could hear Jaebeom open it and enter. The click signaled that he'd locked it again. I was cold, but a flush of heat knowing he was near competed with the room temperature causing goose bumps to jump out across my skin.

In a gentle, reassuring voice he instructed me to hold out my arms, as he placed his shirt onto me. I could feel the warmth of the shirt that was a byproduct of it having been on his warm body moments before. The thought of each fiber having been in contact with him sent a thrill through me. I imagined that instead of his shirt, it was Jaebeom that was enveloping me. The newfound warmth of his shirt and the fact that his scent permeated the fabric was intoxicating.

Moments before I had felt alone, scared, and abandoned. Now I felt loved, cherished, safe, and protected. The flood of emotions came crashing down all at once and I turned to find he was now facing away from me. Such a gentleman! I encircled him with my arms, not even paying attention to the shirt flapping open and to the side, as I pivoted around.

Instantly, the sensation of skin against skin hit me. His broad back rippled with muscles as my chest made contact with his warmth. The stimulation was almost more that I could handle, as I was sent reeling from the ecstasy it generated. My hands took on a life of their own as one reached for his exposed chest and the other, lured by temptation, explored his stomach muscles and traced the thin strip of hair that trailed from his navel. Apparently, I wasn't the only one impacted, as Jaebeom reached to hold my hands and then turned to face me.

I felt him search the opening of the shirt and wrap his arms around my back. Before pulling me in close, our eyes met. His lips then hungrily found their way to mine and then gently transitioned to the crook of my neck. As if on auto pilot, my one arm wrapped around him and pulled him closer, fingers lingering on his strong back.

Without warning, I heard Jaebeom say my name with a husky voice and followed it up by saying "You are worthy of more than this. As much as I want..." We both immediately put on the brakes, as the situation and location over rode the passion of the moment. I wasn't sure if I was thankful or annoyed that he had such impeccable self control.

I attempted to button the shirt in a hasty fashion, but found I was still shaking. I really think it was a combination of the cold, my anger, and the blood that was flowing at high speed thanks to our moment of ardor.

Jaebeom finished helping me with the buttons, then he moved me back a bit and looked at me as though he were surveying the situation.

"I think," he said with a smirk," this is going to be a new fashion come tomorrow's headlines." Before opening the door to the stall, he gently and carefully rolled up the sleeves to half way up my forearm.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

If I'd thought Sharay looked drop dead gorgeous in the navy dress she came in, it was nothing compared to what she looked like now. Sheer hose, high heels and my oversized black satin dress shirt, barely a decent length, made her legs look even longer than normal. I was partly reluctantly to let anyone else see her attired like this, but knew we had to make a statement or that stalker b***h would be emboldened.

As we readied to leave the stall, I noted to Sharay that I thought this style would be a big hit come the next day.

As we made our way into the area of the bathrooms where the sinks were, I placed a call to Bambam. "Is everything ready? Good. Can Yugyeom handle it, as I need you to meet me in the ladies bathroom?"

We waited a few moments and Bambam arrived. He skidded to a halt when he saw how Sharay was dressed. "What the...?"

I pointed to the sink where the white dress was draped and dripping water onto the floor.

All Bambam could muster was a few choice words in Thai, before saying, "I like this look, but it needs to be tweaked a touch."

With that he reached into his bag and dug about. Being the fashionista he is, he carries a ton of things with him; mostly cosmetics! Something I never even think about. After a moment or two he'd found what he was looking for.

"This look is a bit more daring ad requires a bit more pizzazz. If you don't mind?" he asked while approaching Sharay. "I think a slightly bolder look is in order."

With her consent, Bambam added darker shading to her eyes, some additional mascara, and a touch of red to her lips. Since this was the ladies room at a fancy event, the counters had been set up for those in need of freshening up. Bambam took advantage of this turned on a curling iron that was available. As it heated up, he instructed me to loosen her pony tail. Deftly, he curled Sharay's now loose long blonde tresses and with a touch of hairspray, he proclaimed himself finish. Stepping back and surveying his handy work, Bambam sighed and said, "It's missing something."

With a finger pressed to his lips, he circled Sharay and then exclaimed, "Got it! Be right back!" and dashed out of the restroom, only to return moments later with a red tie previously worn by Youngjae. With deft moves, Bambam secured it around Sharay's waist, making the shirt more formfitting and pronounced her "Ready to set a new fashion trend."

Before leaving the restroom, he called through to Yugyeom and asked him to begin.

Before we departed the restroom, Jackson entered and said, "We must not forget the pièce de résistance," as he snagged the sopping wet gown from the sink.

Reentering the ballroom, I saw Mark was talking with the "stalker" and, unbeknownst to her, had been shepherding her towards the front of the room where Jinyoung was standing with a microphone sequestered behind his back.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Earlier this evening," Jinyoung began, in his perfect announcer voice, "there was a commotion in which this 'lady' attempted to throw wine at Sharay, the new employee of JYP and girlfriend of my fellow GOT7 member. Please watch the screen behind me as the event was captured on video. We've slowed it down so you can all see exactly the sequence of events."

Immediately, the video Bambam had recorded was projected on the screen. He'd done a brilliant job with the initial filming, but his masterful production skills slowed the action down at just the right spots and he cleverly had certain sequences replay on a loop.

As the video played, Jinyoung continued, "Under threats of a cooked up scandal to discredit JYPE, GOT7, and JB, this person coerced Sharay into trading dresses, only to leave her stranded in the restroom, freezing, and without anything to wear!"

At that point, Jackson marched up and threw the sodden dress as the feet of the stalker lady.

JYPE CEO, my JJP Park Jinyoung's namesake, took over the microphone and demanded, "Security! Remove her from this place now." Turning to her, he added, "You may want to find a good lawyer, as we will be suing you for assault, attempted extortion, theft of a dress, and a host of other things. Further, we will be requesting a restraining order to keep you from all JYPE events, staff, and talent. Consider yourself blacklisted."

As security grabbed her arms and began hauling her away, I approached with Sharay on my arm. Sharay looked stunning in her makeshift outfit, and I think my bare chest showing from the front of my suit wasn't a hindrance either. As I walked past, I glared at her and said, "You really shouldn't wear dresses that are tight. You don't have the figure for it." Boom!

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Bambam really needed to get into fashion design. The makeup, though not my style, along with the tie as a belt really did make it look like Jaebeom's shirt was haute couture rather than a make shift attempt to get me out of a sticky situation.

I ALMOST felt sorry for the gritch, but then again. NOT. As she was hauled off, humiliated and blacklisted on the spot by just about every talent agency in Korea, I began looking for a way to make a hasty retreat of my own.

"Jaebeom. I'm going to grab my coat and head back to the hotel. I'll catch you tomorrow. Okay?" I said, as I attempted to sneak out of the ballroom before I was noticed any more than necessary.

"Not okay," was the unexpected response. "It's Valentine's Day and we haven't danced and there are a number of my friends I'd like you to meet."

"But..." I said as I gestured to my outfit.

Jaebeom smirked and said, "I won't accept anything less. Come on. Let's show them how strong and secure a couple we are, okay?"

Before starting, he crouched down and removed my heels, one by one, saying, "There. Better?" With that, Jaebeom grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor.

 


	34. Blackmail and Blind Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom has a meeting with someone from his past and is blackmailed into breaking up with Sharay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This is purely fiction. Though I have used the picture, name, and financial data of a real person and inserted him into this fiction, please note that it is still only fiction and there is no intention to disparage the character of the real person. He just happens to have the last name of Im and really squinty eyes, so Jaebeom bears a residence to him.
> 
> Trigger warnings - breakup

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The past few months have been crazy busy. The guys and I've been working on a summer tour and comeback and Sharay has been working with most of GOT7 to get their English skills up to speed.

Jackson needed some minor tweaks because he kept getting his metaphors and colloquial expressions mixed up and he was beginning to study for his GED. With some extra cognitive training in executive functioning, his self professed ADHD seemed to be coming under control a bit more too. Bambam needed some pronunciation assistance and help in avoiding expressions that had rude or unintended derogatory meanings. Meanwhile, Jinyoung quickly mastered any deficiencies and soaked up the vocabulary thrown at him by Sharay. To be truthful, I was jealous of how easily Jinyoung excelled at the task and was glad Park Jinyoung had chosen me to go through the training first or I would have been reluctant to compete with him. I would have seemed too daunting of a task to match up to him.

On the other end of the spectrum, Youngjae and Yugyeom had to basically start from scratch with a repair of their auditory processing skills so they could "hear" the sounds of English and be able to reproduce them. From there, they had basic grammar and vocabulary lessons. Though they were farther away than the rest when it came to fluency, they were conversationally acceptable for events like fan meets and interviews by the end of a few months.

The real surprise was Mark. Sharay identified that he was basically dyslexic (a fancy way of saying he had difficulty reading, spelling, and comprehending.) Though he was embarrassed at first, after repairing his auditory processing skills and drilling the sounds and codes, he admitted that he'd always struggled in school because he'd been challenged by reading, writing, and comprehension. Having only gone through 10th grade, he'd felt a little inadequate and embarrassed compared to the other members, but he was now moving on to preparing to take his GED and considering some college courses. The biggest difference this made was in his self esteem and he started talking more and contributing to conversations without need of a cattle prod.

In all the members, I could see their confidence soar from the accomplishments they were gaining in learning and perfecting their English. I, on the other hand, became a little concerned when Sharay moved on to a different group to train, as it meant less of an excuse to meet up with her than when it was one of my own group. Fortunately, since it was Stray Kids, I could justify regular visits as their sunbae. At least that was my story and I was sticking with it.

Everyone in Stray Kids was closer in age to Sharay than I was. She was even Noona to five of them and almost exactly the same age as one. She was basically on first name basis with them all, something that I really envied, as she and I had to resort to honorifics when around others.

As we approached our six month Anniversary, I started to think about how we'd celebrate and long term plans. Little did I know that I wouldn't have as much say about this as I'd imagined.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I'd finally wrapped up most of the work I needed to do with the rest of the GOT7 members and was getting ready to begin working with seven out of nine Stray Kids members. Felix and Chan, coming from Australia, needed no English instruction, though I did have fun teasing them about their accents, as I could replicate it perfectly. At first they thought I was from Australia too!

After the first week in Korea, it was decided that I would stay in a one room, one bath apartment not far from the company. The dorms weren't really set up for a single person, and to move me in with another group could impact their group dynamics. The only down side to this arrangement was the lack of an oven. Though I bought a toaster oven, it was so small I could only bake six cookies at a time; something totally unreasonable when dealing with the ravenous sweet teeth that comprised GOT7. As a result, I regularly had to go to their dorm, which had a full kitchen, to bake cakes, cookies, and brownies. They didn't seem to mind coming home after a long day of training to the aroma of baked goods.

Their dorms were also no too far from the company. It was in a high-rise with a direct access private elevator. Basically, as you entered the elevator you had to input the access code to their flat and press the floor number. This allowed for the elevator to open directly into their flat. Aside from GOT7, Park Jin Young, their manager, and a few select others, I was the only person to have access to the code. Ah the power of cookies!

Jaebeom had a private room and bathroom. He regularly kept his door closed to contain his three cats, Nora, Odd, and Kunta. He kept their kitty litter in the bathroom and their feeding station there as well. He'd arranged to have a big bookcase that he shared with Jinyoung, in the living room. This enabled him to free up his room for his bed and a work station where he kept his computer, and a mini recording center so he could do some rough drafts of his compositions. In the center of his room, he had enough free space for the cats to play. Their favorite toy was still the one I got them for Christmas.

The dorm's living area had a huge couch that allowed for group TV viewing and hanging out. Since both Jackson and Youngjae had moved out, and Yugyeom and Bambam still shared a room, they'd converted one of the other bedrooms into a combination game room and recording studio. The final area was set up as a practice room, complete with sound system and wall to floor mirrors. Finally, there was the kitchen with plenty of space to seat everyone for a meal.

When I began working with Stray Kids, it was a different feeling than when working with GOT7. It took a bit of getting used to being called Noona and not using honorifics with more than half of them, but slowly, I made the transition.

It was a lot of fun working with these talented young guys. For the rappers, the priority was to teach them proper English pronunciation, so they could wrap their tongues around the words at the speed needed. At first they were rather skeptical, and they even challenged me to try rapping to prove I had the skills needed to make a difference for them.

Ha! Little did they know how much I loved playing around with music and launched into Guns and Ships, a song from "Hamilton" with a super fast rap that many couldn't master even when they tried.

Fortunately, ChangBin, JiSung, and HyunJin were suitably impressed with my skills, so the others rapidly acknowledged me as qualified to mentor them to improve their English rapping. Second to the rapping needs of the group, I worked with them on basic language skills and especially focused on Woo Jin's English as he tended to be a bit nasally when singing in English, something he really needed to address as soon as possible as the lead vocalist.

As June approached, and the six month Anniversary of when Jaebeom and I had started dating, I decided on what to get him as a present. I needed time to make some checks for the perfect fit and was getting concerned that I wouldn't be able to, when he called two days before our anniversary saying he had to go visit his parents the following day, Thursday, so would see me early on Friday the 8th at my apartment. He also instructed me to keep the whole day free.

After making a few calls and talking with my co-conspirator, Jinyoung, to make sure no one would be home Thursday morning (Those boys are the kings of spoilers), I headed to the pet store. This store was the place where I'd been keeping an eye on a precious little female tortoise shell Calico cat. I wanted to do a test run to make sure she would fit in with the other three cats, especially Nora who was a bit particular. On the safe side, I brought along two other kittens as backups.

When I arrived in the dorms that Thursday, no one was home, just as Jinyoung had promised. I let myself in and took the kittens, each in a separate crate, over to Jaebeom's room. As I opened the crates and let the three out, Kunta and Odd came to meet the new arrivals. Both of them seemed to equally like all the kittens I'd brought with me. Nora, on the other hand was a different story.

Nora, being Jaebeom's first love, needed to like any new addition or it would be a recipe for disaster. It had taken Jaebeom ages to get her accustomed to sharing him with Odd and Kunta, and I was sure he didn't want to do through that again. During that transition, Nora had scratched and bitten him in protest on a number of occasions, until she finally resigned herself to the fact that they were here to stay.

As Nora approached the kittens, her response to each was crystal clear. She out right ignored the little tabby cat and hissed at the Siamese. When she walked up to the Calico that I thought was the best of the lot, she curled up next to the kitten and started grooming her. Success! This was the kitten for Jaebeom and Nora. The hardest part was getting Nora to let me take the Calico away until the next day when she would be delivered.

Jinyoung knew of my plans and had volunteered to remain home on Friday to receive the kitten while Jaebeom and I were out doing whatever it was he had planned. The idea was to surprise him with the kitten when he got home. No one else would be told in advance, as they were still notoriously bad about keeping secrets.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Our six-month Anniversary was on June 8th and I'd planned on asking Sharay to marry me, setting the date for sometime around Christmas. I'd planned to pick her up in the morning on Friday and make a full day of it going around doing all sorts of fun things, ending the day with a song for her as a proposal and dinner at the Namsung Tower. My plans were derailed though.

On Wednesday, I got a call from my parents saying I needed to come home the following day. They sounded strained and tense, but wouldn't share anymore details. I started thinking the worst. Maybe one of them was sick or something else horrible. As bad as those thoughts were, they were minor compared with what was in store.

As I pulled up to the house, the hairs on the back of my neck began to prickle and my temper flared, for in the drive way was an ostentatious black sedan with chauffeur waiting inside that could only mean one thing; my grandfather was here and he'd called this family meeting. My grandfather, also known as Im Sing-Ki the CEO of Hanmi Holdings with a net worth of at least $3.5 billion dollars, give or take, was a formidable individual.

I'd only met my grandfather on three prior occasions and none of them were good. This didn't bode well. In fact, I didn't even know I had a living grandfather until I was eight years-old. At that time, he'd demanded we show up at his home and was rather abrupt and rude to my mother. Though I was young, I understood that he'd basically disowned my father when he married my mom. He'd thought she was beneath the family standards and had given my dad an ultimatum: lose his inheritance and marry my mom or be the heir to the family business and let her go.

Now, I hadn't known anything about this until I was eight, because my dad had chosen my mom and my grandfather had basically disowned his only son and child. Initially, my parents weren't planning on having any children, as they didn't want to give my grandfather any sway over them, but I was a surprise baby. I later learned that when I was born, my grandfather basically staked a claim on me and that's why my parents had no other children. They didn't want him to have any additional leverage.

On my eighth birthday, my grandfather announced that he was going to raise me and groom me to follow in his footsteps. Even then I was a bit of a rebel. I didn't know, nor did I really care, that he was the 15th most wealthy man in South Korea. In fact, I basically told him to go pound sand and that I'd make my own millions my own way. My father chastised me for being impolite but backed my decision to not go live with him, and to eventually pursue my own dreams.

When he laughed at me and asked how I'd go about doing that, I'd arrogantly informed him I would be an idol and support my parents myself and that we didn't need his stinking money. This was one of the driving forces behind my working so hard and training to diligently to become a trainee and then to debut.

The second time I met my grandfather was when I was set to debut with JJ Project. I'd been summoned to the Park Jin Young's office, only to find my grandfather going toe to toe with our CEO. It was an interesting sight, as both were rather intent on getting their own way. My grandfather wanted me to step down and not debut because it was "unseemly." This just added fuel to my fire. Again, I prevailed, but he did send me an "I told you so" note when Jinyoung and I were returned to trainee status after our less than stellar debut.

The third time I ran into him was just before the debut of GOT7. That time, I really didn't give him an inch, as there were six other people's lives riding on me being in the group. Early on, after debuting as GOT7, there was a fair bit of negative press due to the International members of our group. I always suspected that my grandfather, with his money and influence, may have been a contributing factor if not the driving force behind this rhetoric, and the thought of that always made me feel a bit guilty towards the members. Fortunately, Park Jin Young, assuage my concerns and assured me that all would be well as long as we persevered and worked hard.

Now for the fourth time I was standing in the presence of my grandfather. Though he had aged, he still had a commanding presence. My mother seemed to cower in his company. Though my father stood strong and proud, I could tell he was concerned.

"Ah, Jae Bum. You've finally arrive," my grandfather announced, as if it were his home and he were in charge.

Begrudgingly, I bowed and acknowledged him with full honorifics, though I felt more like spitting at him than giving him deference. I had to acknowledge that my dad had trained me well when it came to politeness and respect. It was all probably designed for me to respond automatically in the event of an occasion such as this.

"Have a seat," said my elder. "We need to chat."

I knew this meant he was going to talk and we were all expected to just agree and go along with him. By this point I knew the proverbial s**t was about to hit the fan. My mind was going in a thousand directions trying to decipher how he was going to proceed and how I could counter him. He'd, no doubt, heard about Sharay and me dating, and based on his prior aversion to the International members of GOT7, I surmised that he was not pleased with my choice of partner. Well, I hadn't given in to him before, and I sure wasn't about to on this either. He was going to be in for a fight he just couldn't win. Or so I thought.

He took a different approach this time. Before, my grandfather had attempted to control me with money. Now I had my own money, and plenty of it, so he took a different approach and went for the jugular.

"Let me get straight to the point. I want you to break it off with this American girl."

"Her name is Sharay," I broke in, adding a delayed "YO" to signal my reluctant acknowledgement of his seniority.

"Regardless. You are to break things off with her," he continued ignoring my interruption.

"You have no more say in this than anything thus far in my life," I countered, making to stand up and leave without further interaction.

"Sit DOWN, young man!" he barked at me. "This is not just about you but about family honor."

"Family honor?! You don't know the meaning of that. You only know how to manipulate, control, and bully. There's nothing honorable about that. YO," again I belligerently yelled at him.

"Call it what you like, but you will do as I say or I'll remove your father, and with it you and any children you might have, from the family registry." With that, he smiled as he noticed I'd seen the pained expression on my father's face, and my grandfather knew I was able to be tamed.

"Ignore him, Jae Bum," said my parents. "We can do without being on the family registry. You love her and she's been good to you and for you. You owe us nothing. You've done more than enough to make us proud."

My grandfather was smirking, as he could tell the words and facial expression of my parents didn't match and he knew I'd never do anything to hurt them. I racked my brains to see if there was a possible out.

"What would it take to get you to relent?" I asked, hoping he would give me a hint of something I could work with.

The old man's eyes glinted with an evil twinkle before he replied. "You've had your way three times now. So this time it's going to cost you, and even then you may not be able to earn the right to stay with this girl."

He let out a throaty laugh as though he were enjoying tormenting me. My blood was boiling, but I needed to be a good son and secure my father's birthright of being on the family registry. I also realized that, like it or not, not being on the family registry and being married to a foreigner would make things extra hard on any kids I would have, and I knew Sharay and I wanted children down the line.

"So...?" I asked open endedly.

"Break thinks off with this foreigner immediately. I have a blind date set up for you tonight. Go on that and the photos will be published nationally in the paper and reported throughout the media come tomorrow. If you can go six months and she'll still have you, then I'll keep you and your dad on the registry, even if you decide to marry her; assuming she'll even want you at that point. Oh, and you can't let her or anyone else know about this arrangement." He smirked at me when he said this last part, as if he was sure Sharay would be so angry at me or hurt that in six months she wouldn't have anything to do with me anyway.

The wheels in my head were turning. I had to think of something to give me an edge. Quickly, I settled my mind and calmly said, "Deal, but on three conditions. First, I get in writing that you'll never threaten or remove my dad, me or any of my children from the family registry. Two, any such agreement will be reviewed by an attorney of my choosing to make sure it's legally binding. And finally, I'll go on the blind date but the photos of that alone will be the announcement. There'll be no other statement on the matter by me or by the company."

My grandfather mulled over my proposal trying to see what sleight of hand I was trying to pull and, when he couldn't see a down side, agreed. He then placed a call to his attorney, who promptly drafted up an agreement that would require me to break off relationships with Sharay as of tomorrow morning, at which time I would I personally have to show her the photos of the blind date from tonight. I was not allowed to share with her or anyone the details of the agreement, but was allowed to discuss and review the legally binding document with an attorney of my choice who, in turn, was not allowed to share the details with anyone else. If Sharay would be willing to take me back after December 8th, my grandfather agreed that he'd bless our marriage and never threaten me or any of my family with removal from the family registry for any reason whatsoever. My only addition was that he would not involve himself in any other family affairs including, but not limited to, attending any wedding ceremony or family event without invitation.

Once the agreement was written to our mutual acceptance, I stepped into another room and called the only attorney I knew I could trust in this situation.

"TJ?" I asked, as she answered the phone. "I need your help."

By this time my composure was all but gone. Between my anger and fears of hurting Sharay, I was barely keeping it together.

"Jaebeom, what's the matter. Is Sharay okay? Are you and your family okay?" she asked concerned.

I explained the situation to her as best I could without totally breaking down. I felt like I was in the worst of all Catch 22's.

"You did the best you could. Now take a deep breath. You had to protect your father and your future kids. Assuming those children would also be my grandkids, I know Sharay would appreciate the efforts you're going through to secure their birthright. She's gonna be devastated, since neither of us can let her in on what's going on and the timing of this on your six-month anniversary is especially cruel, but I have faith that you two can make it through this. If anything, it'll make you stronger. All I ask is that you get her a ticket home so she can be with us right after you tell her about the blind date. Can you do that for me? Somehow make sure she gets on the plane?"

I said I'd set Sharay up with a ticket for the following day and assured TJ that nothing would dissuade me from my love for her daughter. I then sent her a photo of the agreement that I'd quickly translated and she acknowledged that it was pretty air tight. Confidentiality was key, as my grandfather's attorney had carefully woven in that if Sharay found out about the agreement that the whole deal was off.

"I'm sorry to burden you with this, but I needed someone with whom I could talk over the next six months. I trust that isn't prohibited by the contract?"

"No, there's nothing that says you're precluded from talking with your attorney about this during the contract time frame," TJ assured me. "Thanks for letting me know, as it'll be easier to console Sharay knowing your blind date and 'breakup' is just a nasty man's power play and not where your heart is."

"Please," I begged, "help her weather this for me. I promise to make it up to her every day for the rest of my life."

"I trust you Jaebeom, or I wouldn't have let you start dating my daughter in the first place. Now go wash up, put on that famous glare of yours, and go stare down that Ba****d," she ended the conversation as best she could to bolster me up.

I spend a good bit of time in the bathroom, washing my face in cold water to remove any traces of my tears, leaving only the anger and bitterness to show. I then returned to my parents and grandfather and simply stated, "Let's sign this. Then get me the information on this blind date and I'm outta here."

That evening I dressed in a black suit. It seemed fitting that I wore something that would have been appropriate for a funeral, as I felt like I was attending one. Without a word to the other guys, I departed the dorm and headed out to meet my blind date.

My date for the night was none other than a socialite who was my age from a wealthy family. She was Korean, of course, and though I was reluctant to admit it, a real knockout. I didn't expect anything less from my grandfather. This was really going to hurt Sharay badly. The ironic thing was that my date and I ran out of things to talk about in about 10 minutes. All she cared about was money and looks. There was no depth to her and her beauty faded the moment she opened her mouth and started badmouthing Sharay. I gritted my teeth, as I had to just sit there and not defend Sharay, as per the agreement that would fly in the face of a perceived break up. Par for the course, my grandfather had a professional photographer taking "candid" photos of us that would be plastered all over the media come morning.

 

Though I got home late, I called Sharay and asked to meet up at her place at 8am. I told her to pack a suitcase on the ruse that we were going to take a weekend trip. In reality, I'd booked her on a flight out of Inchon to Florida that left at 11am. My plan was to show up at her place, then I'd simply show her the photos of my blind date and give her the plane ticket. I'd have a waiting taxi to take her to the airport and would follow behind without her knowing, to make sure she boarded her flight. Then, I'd have to wait for six months and pray that our relationship was as strong for her as it was for me. It sounded good in theory, but my heart shattered when she answered the phone and sounded so excited about going on a trip with me. God what have I done?

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Jaebeom called late. He'd been at his parents a longer time than I'd expected, but when he said he'd be by at 8am and to pack for a trip, I was so excited. I'd half expected he'd be too tired after such a long day and want to start later. I'd arranged to have the kitten delivered at noon, and didn't want the surprise to be spoiled by him still being there when she arrived because of a late start.

I woke up early, showered, and grabbed a quick snack, as I wasn't sure whether Jaebeom would have eaten yet or not. As he entered my apartment, I sense something was wrong when he deflected my greeting and hug.

My bag was by the door, and I was ready for the day's activities, when he asked me to sit down. Jaebeom maneuvered me to the black couch in my one room loft apartment, but he couldn't meet my eyes after he sat down next to me. I started getting worried when I noticed his jaw was set and he was tense.

"Are you parents okay?" I ventured.

"Yeah. Fine," he replied in a monotone.

"If you're tired we could delay our departure," I felt around for what was troubling him.

"I'm tired," he replied, and then he offered me his phone.

Holding it up for me, he scrolled through photograph after photograph of him with the most stunningly beautiful woman. At first I had trouble figuring out what he was showing me, but as he kept scrolling I felt a tight pit growing in my stomach.

"Was that from a photo shoot?" I offered hopefully, knowing that it wasn't so benign.

Jaebeom shook his head and simply offered, "Blind date last night."

My mind went blank and my chest felt like it was being squeezed in a vice grip. I shook my head hoping it would clear my ears. I couldn't have heard correctly.

"Blind what?" I asked hoping I'd got it wrong.

"Blind date," he replied again with a flat affect. "We're not going anywhere today. Just you. Here," he said simply, as he handed me a plane ticket. "Get your passport. Go home. There's taxi waiting for you downstairs. Your flight is in three hours. That gives you an hour to get to the airport in case of traffic, and two hours for international check in."

I felt like I was surrounded by fog. My mind wasn't working right and I was having trouble catching my breath. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but couldn't formulate the words to get any clarity. Jaebeom was offering no further explanations or details. I felt numb all over and yet in agony all at the same time. My face felt as though all the blood had drained from it and I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears.

Finally I was able to muster the words, "Did I do something wrong? Is there something...." I couldn't finish as Jaebeom interrupted me.

"It's not about you. It's about me. Just leave it at that," he said curtly while stuffing the ticket into my hand and then going to rummage through my desk for my passport. Once he found it, he shoved it in my direction and hustled me towards the door, grabbed my luggage, and herded me towards the waiting cab. All in all this took less than 10 minutes from when he'd arrived.

Before I could get my wits about me, I was in the cab, and the driver having been instructed to take me to the international terminal. I was on autopilot. It was as if I couldn't formulate the thought to do anything other than what Jaebeom had told me to do. Before I knew it, I was checking into the departure area of the airport. The large television screens in the waiting area were featuring the photos Jaebeom had shown me earlier and the news was recounting the breakup of the public relationship of an idol and a no named foreigner.

Fortunately, my photos weren't well publicized on a good day, so I wasn't identified. At any rate I was old news. The focus was on the beauty with Jaebeom and how well they suited one another. Speculation was high about why we'd broken up. There was one comment by JYP entertainment saying that they would neither confirm nor deny the break up or the dating rumors. This all occurred within the span of moments before I could get my ear buds out and start drowning out the newscast.

Well, actually, that didn't' work too well either, as all my music featured Jaebeom or something we'd shared together. I frantically searched for something that wouldn't trigger a memory, as I sat stony-faced trying to collapse into myself.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

It took every ounce of energy and all my will power not to gather Sharay in my arms and hold her and never let go. Instead, I tried to shut down my emotions and just show her the photos that were from the staged blind date. They alone implied I was breaking up with her. I then quickly ushered her towards the door and taxi with her suitcase, passport, and ticket before I could change my mind.

Sharay seemed to have completely shut down and was easily manipulated to get her to do what needed to be done. The whole time, though, I was praying to God that she would forgive me and not be hurt too badly. I hoped she would remain numb, like she presented now, at least until she reached home when her mom and dad could hold her. I was amazed at how strong she was. She had yet to shed a tear by the time she boarded the flight.

Unbeknownst to her, I'd followed her to the airport, and with a little palm greasing also shadowed her in the departure lounge until she boarded the plane. As the televisions began reporting about our "break up" and my new love interest, I felt the weight of the world fall on her fragile shoulders, and there was nothing I could do to ease the burden. All I could do was vow to make up for it for the rest of my life and curse my grandfather to his grave and beyond.

Once Sharay safely boarded her plane, I returned to my car and broke down. I began cursing myself as well for putting Sharay in this position and for not imagining the potential of my grandfather getting involved, since he had, after all, always done whatever he could to undermine my happiness and success. Why hadn't it occurred to me that he would continue to do the same throughout every aspect of my life? Perhaps his silence over the past four and a half years had lulled me into a false sense of security and complacency. No more! That Ba****d was going to pay by having to acknowledge our relationship in six months, and I was going to tell anyone who would listen at that time what kind of sick, perverted, control freak he really was.

I returned to the dorms without really being aware of maneuvering through the traffic. I was on autopilot. After parking, I headed up to the flat via the private elevator. As the doors opened, I found myself flat on my back after being on the receiving end of a punch thrown by Jackson that I hadn't even seen coming.

"You Son of a B***h!' he was yelling at me, as he continued to pound away at me, though with some difficulty as Jinyoung was trying to stay his blows. I, however, just lay there and took it without any effort to defend myself. My actions were inexcusable and not worthy of defending. The pain from the blows actually seemed to help in a bizarre way, as they distracted me from the sharp and constant pain that was radiating from my heart and throughout my body.

"Jackson! Enough!" I finally heard Jinyoung yell. "Go home. I'll deal with this."

Jackson listened to Jinyoung, but not without first throwing one last punch at my jaw, making my head snap to the side with a sharp twist. He followed it up with a deathly glare and then a sad shake of the head.

Once he'd gone, Jinyoung came up to me with a couple of ice packs. Sitting next to me he attempted to tend to my injuries, but I only swatted his hand and said, "Don't bother. I deserved at least that much and more."

"Where's Sharay?' he finally ventured.

"On her way home to Florida. I followed her taxi and made sure she got on the plane," I offered in response.

Jinyoung merely nodded before settling back on the couch waiting for me to give an explanation that would never be forthcoming.

We sat that way for about 30 minutes and then the door bell rang. Jinyoung jumped up saying, "Oh S**t! I forgot. Sharay's gift for your anniversary was going to be delivered."

It was as he was tending to whomever was at the door, that I remembered that I needed to cancel the dinner reservations and call TJ to let her know Sharay got safely on her flight. I decided to text TJ in the end instead of calling, as I couldn't bring myself to speak to her and had to be careful what I said in front of Jinyoung anyway.

Several minutes passed, then Jinyoung came in and handed me an animal crate. He looked concerned and irritated all at the same time. "Here," he said.

I just looked at the crate trying to fathom what was going on, when I heard a small mewl from within and the nose of a kitten appeared, pressed against the crate's gated front. I open the crate mechanically and removed the cutest, fluffiest tortoise shell Calico kitten that ever happened. As she tumbled into my lap, I held her gently and that's when the tears began and I started shaking.

Somehow Jinyoung maneuvered me to my room, along with the kitten. I managed to say to him, "Don't tell anyone about the kitten please."

Though he had no idea why I'd made this request, he nodded his agreement and closed the door behind me so I could wallow in my own pity, heartache, and shame.

As I collapsed to the floor, I was amazed that Nora came up and curled in my lap next to the new arrival. The older cat began grooming the newcomer and seemed thrilled at her new companion. At that moment I decided on the kitten's name and was determined to keep her a secret from everyone, so Sharay wouldn't know I kept her. This too would have to be part of the deception I'd need to play to keep my end of the deal with my grandfather. And deal with him was exactly what I was going to do.

 

 


	35. Secret Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharay is struggles but finds some peace working with children and has a little help from Donghae and Siwon from Super Junior. Jaebeom is struggling to keep things together as tension between him and the members is still high, especially with Jackson. Jinyoung finds out what's going on. Sharay makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lengthy chapter with a lot going on. It seemed impossible to break it up into a smaller segment without losing the flow.

**°∴°˚ TJ °˚∴°**

I hung up from the call from Jaebeom. My heart was heavy and the new burden I shared with him made me feel suffocated and trapped. I had insider information that my daughter couldn't be told. She would have her world crash down upon her in a few short hours when she would be told a lie implying that Jaebeom was seeing someone else. He would place her on a plane home to me without explanation or comment, and I wouldn't be able to say or do anything to console or reassure her. Worst still, I couldn't even share this information with Sam, as it was privileged and confidential communication between attorney and client, while at the same time it was so very personal.

"Sam, we need to talk," I said approaching him.

"You know I married you for many reasons. You're funny, caring, intelligent, and honest, to name a few traits. So many things about you make you the one I adore and love more than you can imagine, "I ventured forth carefully choosing my words.

"You're good with people and reading between the lines. I need you to use all those skills and listen to not only what I'm going to tell you, but what I can't tell you. Okay?"

Sam raised his eyebrows, cocked his head to the side and offered, "I'm listening. You have my full attention."

"That was Jaebeom. I can't get into the details," I let out a heavy sigh. "Sharay will be coming home on a flight that leaves out of Inchon tomorrow."

"Is everything okay between them?" he pressed.

"I can't get into that exactly. Just love and be there for her as you always are. If she wants to talk, listen to her. If she doesn't say anything, you're good at just being a strong support with your presence."

"I don't like where this is going. Did that boy hurt her in any way?" he asked, his protective dad mode coming to the front.

"Yes. But..." I stopped. "Please hear what I'm not saying," I begged.

Sam looked at me with careful scrutiny and then offered, "So you're saying that things may not be as they appear?"

In my best legal dodge I replied, "I can neither confirm nor deny that."

"I don't like this, but I think I may get where you're going."

As Sharay came into view as she emerged from the terminal exit, I could tell she'd all but shut down. I knew my daughter well. She wasn't one who regularly cried, unless it was the death of a loved pet or a fictional character she truly had come to love. She'd braved many storms in her life and rarely shed a tear. The only person who'd ever reached her deeply enough to bring her to tears had been Jaebeom, but this time she was stoic and held it all in. Though the pain was manifest in her posture and demeanor, her words sounded normal though her tone had a flat affect and her presentation was that of a hallow sunken shell.

Sharay was not one to openly want hugs and consolation on a good day. She tended to deal with her hurts and pain in a very private way. Knowing this, I didn't rush to hug her, but approached close enough to allow her the choice to initiate a hug. That hug was never given.

"Mom," she offered, "I need some space and time to think. Can you all just not mention him? I don't want to talk about it."

"I'll follow your lead on this," I assured her. "Just now you're not in this alone." This last part I said, knowing that she would think I was talking about our family, while I was including Jaebeom mentally in the mix.

That night, Sharay called Park Jin Young and let him know that she needed a break. Obviously he was aware of the media coverage of the blind date, so he knew why and didn't press any further. He told her to take whatever time she needed, but stressed that he valued her work and hoped she'd return soon.

With a little leeway on the work front, Sharay settled into a routine of going to the beach and walking for hours on end in silence. She stopped listening to music, especially anything associated with Jaebeom, which included "Hamilton." She didn't contact any of the Chu's, because she didn't want to have to talk with them about Jaebeom or hear their opinions. She stopped all social media too. The one time Daniel started cursing out Jaebeom, she'd actually stopped him with a simple, "Don't. That doesn't help."

After a week, Sharay came to me and her father and said she was heading back to Korea. She missed the kids she worked with in the church nursery, wanted to complete her commitment to helping the trainees and idols at JYPE with their English, and she stated plainly that running away wasn't helping or solving anything. My heart broke when she left, as her final words to me at the security check in were, "Why did I ever think I was good enough for him? I should've known this was going to happen, but I was broadsided. I'm just gonna have to find a way to be happy for him or else what I feel for him is nothing but selfish."

The whole time she was with us, and for the next almost six months, she never cried. I was concerned that when she started to cry she wouldn't be able to stop. I voiced my concern about this to Jaebeom during one of our talks, and he assured me that, even though he wouldn't be able to be there for her, he would make sure she had support if and when the time came. Six months of tears would be a lot of tears when they finally were released.

I knew that Sharay made a point of checking the GOT7 schedule to ensure she wouldn't run into Jaebeom. Aside from trying to go a fan sign about two months out, she said she'd not bumped into him once. As far as the fan sign event, she shared that she'd left after just a few moments and had been way in the back. He didn't even know she'd been there; much less know she'd left early. I could hear the resignation in her voice as she said, "He sang, danced, and smiled at all the Ahgase. He seems to have moved on, as if I'd never existed. I wish I could do that. I think of him every moment I'm not fully focused on my work or on helping one of the children. That respite only lasts for a couple of minutes at a time as, even then, he creeps into my thoughts. It sounds so pathetic to admit that out loud. How long will it take before I can forget him too?"

I knew the last part was a rhetorical question, but I stupidly offered, "We never forget those we love."

"Then I guess he really never loved me," she reasoned, and my heart ached to tell her that he was going through the same thing, she just didn't know it.

Sharay had made an effort to keep herself busy almost 24/7. In addition to the work with JYPE, she'd been serving at church in the nursery on Sundays, volunteering at an orphanage, taking some voice and acting lessons for her own advancement, and in August she'd signed up for additional online classes at university and was finishing up her end of semester exams tomorrow, December 3rd, having received permission to complete her online exams early. She rarely shared details of her day, but rather focused on generalities. Most conversations were a repeat of the previous ones with very little new information.

I knew she spent little to no time at her apartment aside from sleeping and as recently as last night, she'd admitted that she had yet to cry, noting that the tears just wouldn't come. She did share that all of the members called her on a regular basis, especially Jinyoung and Jackson, but that she always declined the calls and never listened to any voice messages and immediately deleted any texts without reading them.

Looking at the calendar, I prayed that time would move faster. Only a few more days until this stupid trial initiated by Jaebeom's grandfather would be over. I wondered how she would take the news. Would she feel relieved, deceived, angry, hurt, all of the above? Would she forgive him? Would she forgive me?

**¤○•° Jinyoung °•○¤**

Prior to going to his parents on June 7th, Jaebeom had been happy, was a great leader, wrote tons of music, and was looking forward to his six month anniversary with Sharay. After returning from his parents, he looked sullen and angry. That tell-tale jutting out of his chin was a dead giveaway. I chose not to pry, but watched him warily as he went to his room and later came out dressed to kill in a really nice suit. Again, I didn't say anything, but assumed he was heading out for dinner with Sharay. When he returned two hours later, looking like a living thunder cloud and clearly having had one too many drinks, I became concerned.

The next morning, Friday, June 8th, he left the house before I woke up. I'd planned on staying home all day as I'd volunteered to be there when the kitten Sharay had bought for Jaebeom would arrive. The kitten was scheduled to be delivered sometime around noon. The plan was for Jaebeom and Sharay to be out most of the day.

At around 11am I was startled by the sounds of Jackson crashing around the flat. Though he lived by himself these days, he regularly came by and had the access code to the place, so it wasn't unheard of for him to come by unannounced.

Wandering out into the living room, I was surprised that Jackson was cursing up a storm. As soon as he spotted me he yelled, "Where the h--- is Jaebeom? What the F--- was he thinking? I'm gonna kill that B-----d!"

"Jackson, cool down a moment and explain. What're you going on about?" I said to try and make sense of his tirade.

"Look," he offered, as he handed me his cell phone. Scrolling through the news report I saw picture after picture of Jaebeom with some really pretty lady. A lady who wasn't Sharay; those two were clearly on a date. The write up stated that Jaebeom had gone on a blind date and gave the credentials of the young lady: age, education, well known family connections, etc. The clear implication that it was a marriage meeting wasn't lost. One report even ventured to comment that it probably signaled an end to Jaebeom's relationship with the American girl he'd previously announced he was dating. The article further speculated that a breakup had probably been long overdue because of age, cultural, and other disparities.

I just stood there gawking at the report trying to piece together what I knew and what I was looking at.

In hindsight the changes in Jaebeom's behavior were clear. The question that remained was, what caused the change? Why had Jaebeom been so happy before going to his parents and why the sudden mood swing upon his return? Why the blind date that he seemed mad about? Why did he drink last night, when he rarely, if ever, drank around Sharay? What was he doing today with Sharay?

As these questions popped up in my head, I had no clear answer and resolved that asking Jaebeom was the only option. Meanwhile, Jackson was working himself up even more, so by the time Jaebeom showed up at around 30 minutes later, all his pent up anger was released as the elevator door opened and our leader was blindsided with a hard punch to the face.

I understood why Jaebeom didn't initially defend himself, as the attack had been sudden and unexpected, but as Jackson continued to hammer him with blow after blow, Jaebeom passively took it and never once raised a hand to defend himself, much less counterattack.

When it looked like Jaebeom would be turned into a bloody pulp or killed for failure to protect himself, I finally stepped in to stay the blows

"Jackson! Enough!" I finally yelled. "Go home. I'll deal with this."

Amazingly, Jackson listened to me, but not without first throwing one last punch at Jaebeom's jaw, making his head snap to the side with a sharp twist. He followed it up with a deathly glare and then a sad shake of the head.

Jaebeom lay on the floor with his back propped against the couch and stayed that way without saying a word until I returned from the kitchen with a couple of ice packs. Though I was angry at him too for hurting Sharay, he was still my best buddy, and I needed to know what was going on before I let emotions carry me away. I knew I needed an explanation, so started to tend to his injuries. Jaebeom only swatted my hand and said, "Don't bother. I deserved at least that much and more."

"Where's Sharay?' I finally ventured.

"On her way home to Florida. I followed her taxi and made sure she got on the plane," he offered in response.

I merely nodded before settling back on the couch waiting for him to give an explanation that never came.

We sat that way for about 30 minutes and then the door bell rang. I jumped up saying, "Oh S**t! I forgot. Sharay's gift for your anniversary was going to be delivered."

Several minutes passed, then I returned to the living room and handed Jaebeom an animal crate. I was concerned about Jaebeom and Sharay, but was irritated that I didn't know what was going on. "Here," I said, handing him the crate.

Jaebeom just looked at the crate trying to fathom what was going on, when a small mewl emitted from within and the nose of a kitten appeared, pressed against the crate's gated front. As if on auto pilot, Jaebeom open the crate mechanically and removed the cutest, fluffiest tortoise shell Calico kitten that ever happened. As she tumbled into his lap, he held her gently and that's when the tears began and he started shaking.

Somehow, I maneuvered Jaebeom to his room, along with the kitten. Once there, he looked hurt and vulnerable, managing only to murmur, "Don't tell anyone about the kitten please."

Though I had no idea why he'd made this request, I nodded in agreement. Jaebeom closed the door behind me looking for all the world like he was the one who'd been dumped.

Several hours later, a locksmith arrived and Jaebeom instructed him to install a key pad lock on his bedroom door. Once that was completed, I saw Jaebeom leave with the cat crate. I gathered that he was returning the kitten.

When he returned later on, he took a slip of paper and wrote something on it and sequestered it in the "Hamilton" CD case located on the books shelf in the living room, instructing me that it was the code to his room "in case of an emergency." Clearly, he didn't want any of us disturbing him, but was only thinking of the cats should anything happen to him.

He took this new privacy to an extreme when he engaged the help of an elderly lady from his church to come care for the cats on those days he would be absent. This was different as, in the past, the rest of us still living in the flat took turns caring for them under those circumstances. He played it off as though this was easier for when we were all out of the area together and gave the cats some stability, but I for one wasn't buying it.

As the other members came to find out about the media reports, they tried to get from Jaebeom what had happened. They were met with a stone wall. Since all the members knew and loved Sharay, they were also angry and hostile towards Jaebeom for his handling of the situation. Jaebeom remained silent and kept his own council.

Over the next several days the atmosphere was strained. Calls placed by all of us to Sharay were left unanswered, as were voice and text messages. The dynamics of the group was strained, as Jaebeom refused to elaborate on the break up. A week later, Sharay returned, but she still pointedly avoided all of us.

Though I didn't know what happened, I came to wonder whether the break up was voluntary of Jaebeom's part or not. I still kept going back to the fact that his behavior changed after returning from the visit with his parents. Though I placed a call to them, the conversation was stilted and provided no further insight.

**♡ °♫ °♡ Donghae ♡ °♫° ♡**

I was shocked by the news that showed Jaebeom had been on a blind date. I didn't know him well, but I'd regularly seen him and Sharay in attendance at the church Siwon and I frequented when we had a free schedule. They looked very much in love. My first encounter with them had been when Jaebeom had reached out to me to speak out on behalf of idols dating six months prior. Again, he'd seemed very sincere, so I couldn't reconcile the news with what I'd personally seen.

About two weeks after the blind date photos were released, I received a call from my pastor asking if Siwon and I would be willing to take someone with us on our monthly visit to a local orphanage that we sponsored. Turns out, the person was Sharay. He wanted us to invite her, and drag her with us if necessary, as he was worried about her and knew that working with the orphans was something that she was not only great at, but would act as a balm for her hurts as well.

That Sunday, I'd attended the first service. Having been informed that Sharay served in the infants and preschool area during the second service, Siwon and I hung out in the foyer drinking some coffee until about 15 minutes before the end of the second service. We'd decided to head over and observe her with the kids as she wrapped up for the day, planning to kidnap her if she weren't a willing participant.

The way the children's ministry was set up would make observing her easy. Each room had a large one-way mirror so parents could look in and see their children, without the children seeing their parents. This allowed for concerned and curious parents to check on their little ones without the youngsters going into a tirade wanting their parents upon seeing them.

Siwon excused himself to go to the restroom, offering to catch up with me in a moment. I proceeded down the hallway and around to the children's ministry. What I saw caught me off guard. Standing in front of the one-way mirror was none other than Im Jaebeom. He looked as though he'd been there for quite some time. Jaebeom was staring into the room where Sharay was working with some preschoolers and he was smiling, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Further, his body language was off. He came across dejected and forlorn. I don't think I'd ever seen such a sad sight.

As I drew near, he became aware of my footfalls and approach. He turned to see who was coming and then equally as fast pulled up his hoodie, ducked his head, and beat a hasty retreat. It was clear he didn't want to be recognized. Though I wasn't sure what was going on, I got the distinct impression that this man was not only missing Sharay, but still very much in love with her. I kept this encounter to myself, as it was merely conjecture on my part why he was there.

"Hello. I'm Lee Donghae," I offered by way of introduction, after the last child had been picked up by her parents.

"And I'm Choi Siwon," offered my other Super Junior member with his characteristic effervescent grin.

"We sponsor an orphanage and head there once a month to help out with odd jobs and to play with the children," I ventured. "Our pastor said you would be a great addition to our team, so we'd like to take you to lunch and then have you join us this afternoon. Tell me you have no plans and, if you do, call and cancel them, okay?" I pushed for an affirmative answer, leaving no room to wriggle out.

Earlier, after Jaebeom's departure, I'd taken his place at the window and observed her kind and sweet demeanor with the children. Though she was fully attentive to them, when it came to us, she seemed to have checked out. It took some goading and prodding to get her to agree.

After a quick lunch, we headed over to the orphanage. Sharay's persona shifted again in the presence of the children. Her eyes lit up and her smile seemed genuine, though still rather wistful. This turned out to be the first of many times the three of us would venture to the orphanage. I found out later that Sharay would frequent the place even without us, sometimes as often as several times per week.

During the course of the next six months, I spotted Jaebeom leaving the church on several other occasions, always departing from the general vicinity of the children's ministry. By this time, I was firmly convinced there was more to this that met the eye. I didn't, however, share my speculation with Siwon or with Sharay. I reasoned that God often placed us in holding patterns and that his timing was perfect. If these two were meant to be together, then they would be. As such, I limited my involvement to the work at the orphanage and heavy prayer for God's will to be done, without further interference.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I finally understood how Elsa from "Frozen" felt. It was as though I had turned into a block of ice. My emotions were frozen and I couldn't seem to get angry or sad or happy. Tears seemed locked inside with no ability to escape.

Being with others was a challenge, as I couldn't engage in small talk and didn't want to hear anyone bashing Jaebeom or commiserating with me about the break up. He was free to love or not love whomever he wanted. That was his choice, and nothing I could do or say would change that. But I stilled loved him, so it hurt when he was disparaged, yet defending his actions and approach was equally as painful.

Being alone was basically the only option, and yet the silence allowed for all the demons to rear their ugly heads. Without being mentally challenged as a distraction, I constantly replayed the time Jaebeom and I had spent together. I analyzed and evaluated every word and action for wrong doing and false assumptions on my part. There were times when it made no sense that he'd break up with me, and other times when it made no sense that he would have ever loved me to begin with. The torment was there no matter whether I was alone or with others.

The inability to find peace, outside of moments when I was extremely busy, was partly the reason for my returning to Korea after the first week. I needed to be mentally active, and working with the other JYP artists was definitely that. I was able to obtain GOT7's detailed schedule from Mr. Park's secretary, which greatly aided me in avoiding any interaction. I wondered if Jaebeom was also avoiding me. He certainly wasn't making a point of bumping into me causally, much less going out of his way to see me or call.

Though the language training kept me mentally occupied for a number of hours per day, unfortunately, there were too many remaining hours where my mind would kick into gear and think about him. To minimize this down time, I approached Mr. Park about taking acting and singing lessons, and even started back up with online college classes in the Fall. Though it didn't solve the underlying problem, I was usually so tired by the time my head hit the pillow that I often fell asleep straight away. Sadly, even my dreams starred Im Jaebeom.

The best thing that came out of this was my volunteering at the church nursery for an additional service and an introduction to a local orphanage, where I went twice a month for the entire day. It was my new friends who opened that pathway to me who helped me the most. They never asked or commented about Jaebeom, but were supportive and comforting. Since Donghae Oppa and Siwon Oppa were idols, they were sensitive and understanding in a way my other friends just couldn't be.

For my 19th birthday, I purchased myself a stuffed Calico kitten and then went to the orphanage for the entire day. I reflected that this time last year, though I knew Jaebeom, I hadn't been dating him then either. I tried playing mind games with myself to keep my sanity.

I guess you could say I was depressed, but I never contemplated self harm. I was already hurting enough, so there was no need to add more. I also reasoned that such actions would be of no benefit to those I were to leave behind should I follow that course of action, So, instead, the ice in my heart hardened. Nearly six months out and I'd yet to cry. I once thought that if I were to start defrosting, that all the ice buildup would melt and create a flood.

My online classes all had papers for the final exam. Though they were due the following Monday, I'd completed them over the weekend and already sent them in. I knew I'd be hard pressed to be productive next weekend since Saturday would have been our one year anniversary. I'd finished the research, writing, and editing early. Unfortunately, this also meant that the time I'd requested off from work for exams would leave me with a ton of down time. Accordingly, I decided to head into the company Wednesday morning to get some other work done. This would keep my mind active and off the impending anniversary. Fortunately, Jaebeom was scheduled to have the day off, so he'd be nowhere near the JYPE building. I wouldn't have to be on my guard.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The code for my new door lock was 821128. The first part was Sharay's birth month and day, while the second part was the month and day this ordeal would be over as well as our one year anniversary. I needed to keep the door to my room secure from prying eyes, as I didn't want anyone to leak word about the Calico cat that had joined my menagerie. I also kept my ongoing letters to Sharay secured in the room, a dartboard with a picture of my grandfather tacked to it, and the photos of me and Sharay framed on my desk and bedside table. Any of these things could tip off Sharay or the other members that something was afoot and I couldn't chance that happening.

I'd arranged for this sweet elderly lady from church to help with the cats when I was out of town. She'd assisted me before and had been both loving to 'my girls.' Additionally, she had been closed lipped about my cats in the past and I felt I could trust her. When she was scheduled to come, I hid the photos and my papers, as well as the dart board, leaving only the new cat and the code as possible hints. Prior to this time frame, there were no leaked photos of Kunta or Odd, except the ones I released. As such I didn't fear she would ever share news or photographs about of my newest addition, especially since I specifically asked her to keep it a secret from everyone. As a widow with no children, she didn't have any immediate relatives who would ever pressure her to divulge information. In fact, I don't think she ever told anyone that she even worked for me, much less in what capacity.

Three days and a wake up left. I was counting down the minutes until this hellish situation was over and this game of chess would be resolved with a checkmate. Sitting at my desk, I finished my letter to Sharay for the day. The notebook was filling up. I'd written her all the thoughts I had and would have told her during our separation, but for my grandfather. Tomorrow was Wednesday, and I would head into the company and would work instead of the originally scheduled down day. I wanted to use it to finish up some work. I didn't want to chance having to work on Saturday. That was too important a day. The possibility of running into Sharay tomorrow was eliminated, as TJ told me Sharay had shared that she had final exams this week. Her JYPE schedule also showed she was off.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

As I entered the JYPE building with the intent of heading to a practice room, I headed down the corridor leading to the elevator banks. Just before I turned right to get to the elevators, I heard his voice.

I felt my heart race and my head felt light. I stopped in my tracks wanting to avoid an encounter, but backtracking wasn't really an option. As such I was rooted to my spot and heard the conversation he was having with someone, though I didn't register who the voice belonged to as I was solely focused on Jaebeom's voice.

"So Jaebeom, can you give me the name of your vet? I just got a cat and need one," this other male was saying.

Jaebeom offered to text the person the information. They spent a few moments talking about this person's new cat, when Jaebeom was asked, "You have three cats, right? Nora's name I remember. What were the names of the other two?"

"Kunta and Odd," were given in response and quick goodbyes followed.

As I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that he mentioned only three cats, Jaebeom turn the corner and looked straight at me. He must have heard the strangled cry that escaped my mouth as it dawned on me that he hadn't kept the kitten I'd given him.

"What're you doing here?" he barked at me, his face clouded and sullen.

Though I heard his question, the answer was a given and it seemed irrelevant under the circumstance.

In a quiet, shaking voice I heard myself say, "I know you don't love me. Probably never did. But I never guessed that you hated me, at least not so much that you would get rid of the kitten that Nora loved so much. Did you at least find her a good home?"

It was a statement of fact not an accusation, followed by a simple inquiry; nonetheless, Jaebeom's face grew even more dark and intimidating. I probably would have been scared, but my focus was on how Nora would be feeling and the location of the kitten, not on my relationship with Jaebeom. I already knew that was trashed.

As he drew closer he simply stated, "How Nora's doing is my business and what I did with that kitten is too."

I felt the heat searing through my body. Great stabs of sharp pain coursed through my heart and head, as the emotions I'd been bottling up and ignoring for the past 6 months escaped through the cracks created by my concerns for the cats. I'd let my guard down and the emotions I'd been holding in check found a gap through which to pour.

As I just stood there looking at him, I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes and knew that I was in imminent danger of losing it in front of the one person I didn't want see me cry. I didn't want him to see how hurt I was or that I still, obviously, hadn't gotten over him.

Jaebeom didn't say another word, but turned to leave. Before he took a step though, I choked out, "Wait." Reaching out to stop his departure, I briefly touched his arm and then recoiled as if I had been stung. I no longer had the right to touch him. As he turned towards me, I opened my satchel and withdrew an envelope. Handing it to him I said, "This belongs to you." I turned to leave as quickly as I could, but ran right into someone who'd been standing behind me. I wasn't sure what, if anything, they'd heard, but I didn't care. I offered a hasty apology without looking up and made my way towards to stair well. I needed to get out of there NOW!

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Standing in front of the elevators I ran into Wonpil. He struck up a conversation with me about his new cat and was asking for information about veterinarians. As usually, talk of my girls was a favorite subject for me, but I was forced to omit mention of my newest little one. As the conversation progressed and the number of cats I had came up, I referenced only the three and, shortly thereafter, Wonpil went on his way. I was aware, however, that someone was around the corner and had let out a sharp strangled cry at the mention of the cats.

I'd know Sharay's voice and expressions anywhere. I knew immediately that she'd heard the conversation and probably assumed that I'd given away the cat she'd bought me. There was no escaping this though, so I did my best to mask my desire to see her and concern about how she would process what she'd heard. Apparently, I did a decent job, as she looked a bit taken aback when I turned the corner and addressed her with a rather curt, "What're you doing here?"

Ignoring my question Sharay replied by stating, "I know you don't love me. Probably never did. But I never guessed that you hated me, at least not so much that you would get rid of the kitten that Nora loved so much. Did you at least find her a good home?"

My heart broke and I was sure my face showed how much I loved her and was torn up by her comment. In a way it was good thing that she was unable to meet my eyes for just long enough for me to regain my composure so I could say, "How Nora's doing is my business and what I did with that kitten is too," without her catching on.

This was probably the meanest and cruelest thing I could ever do and say, but I'd spotted one of my grandfather's minions standing within earshot and couldn't risk him getting wind of the kitten or giving any reason for him to believe I'd violated the agreement about keeping Sharay in the dark.

Before the situation digressed any further, I turned to leave without another word, but I felt Sharay reach out and touch my sleeve for the briefest of moments before pulling back and saying, "Wait."

As I turned back, she was rummaging through her bag and pulled out an envelope. Handing it to me she stated flatly, "This belongs to you." Without further comment or even looking at me, she turned abruptly to leave.

Since her eyes were downcast, she didn't see that Jinyoung had been standing right behind her observing the entire conversation and transaction. As such, she bumped right into him. Still not looking up, she offered a quick apology and headed towards the stairs. I doubted she knew who she'd run into.

It was at times like this I was so thankful that my JJP partner could read me without words or actions. With a single look from me, her turned and chased after Sharay. I had to trust that he knew I wanted, no I needed, him to be with her and console her.

Looking down at the envelope in my hand, it was obvious Sharay had carried it with her for all, or at least the better part, of the past 6 months. The envelope had pressed against the contents and I could tell that inside was a letter and the ring and necklace I'd given her. Sinking to my knees, I clutched the envelope and contents to my chest.

I felt a sharp pain seer across my chest and my eyes started to lose focus. Darkness seemed to fold in around me as my vision narrowed to a pinpoint of light before I passed out. Briefly before I lost consciousness, I wondered if I was having a heart attack or it this was what true heart break felt like.

**▼▽── Jinyoung ──▽▼**

Sharay and Jaebeom were face to face in front of me. Sharay's back was to me and Jaebeom seemed to only have his eyes trained on the girl in front of him. As I watch closely, when Sharay told Jaebeom that she knew he didn't love her and probably never had, I saw pain flash across my longtime friend's face before he put on a mask to hide his feelings. What was the deal?

I was firmly convinced after observing his behavior over the past several months that he was still in love with this girl, but for some unfathomable reason he was not only distancing himself from her, he was pushing the rest of us away so we wouldn't find out the truth. Because of this, I took to following him from time to time, only to discover that I wasn't the only one doing surveillance. It seemed as though there were several people always watching him, and it was the same people on a rotating schedule. Today, one of those people was here taking in the entire scene. Fortunately, they were a little further away that I was and probably didn't catch the subtle shift in his facial expression, something only I would probably detect given our years of friendship.

As Sharay handed Jaebeom something and turned to leave, she moved so quickly that I couldn't maneuver out of her path fast enough. She, apparently, hadn't been aware anyone was standing right behind her, since her total focus had been on Jaebeom. Because of this, it was no surprise that she bumped right into me.

Sharay's eyes were trained to the ground. She didn't even look up to see who she'd bumped into. After a quick apology and bow, she darted off towards to stairwell. I looked briefly at Jaebeom, and it was clear that he wasn't in a position to follow her but wanted me to make sure she was alright. Turning and following Sharay towards the stairs, I noticed Jaebeom fall to his knees and was vaguely aware that he was clutching something to his chest.

As I trailed Sharay, I could hear her feet pounding up the stairs. She was taking them two at a time, but was finally slowing down. By the time I reached her, she was sitting on the steps several flights up, curled into a fetal position sobbing.

"Sharay?" I ventured in as soothing a voice as I could. No response. I tried a couple more times before she seemed to note my existence. I went to sit down next to her and put my arm around her, but she shrugged me off.

"Please don't hug me. Jaebeom was the last one to hug me and I..." gulping air she couldn't finish her sentence, but I knew what she meant. She wanted to remember how it felt to have him hold her and didn't want anything to detract from that. Upon reflection, I realized that Jaebeom had instinctively done the same thing.

We sat like that for quite a while. I would estimate a good 20 minutes or so. I checked my phone a couple of times to see if Jaebeom had sent me a text, but there was nothing. I had expected something. Finally, my phone rang and I saw it was Jackson so ignored it. He called back again almost immediately and then a third time. I declined them all and sent him a text saying I was busy. He replied: ANSWER THE D**M PHONE! JAEBEOM'S IN THE HOSPITAL!

Sharay had looked up as I'd unintentionally sucked in a breath of air signaling a problem. "What's wrong?" she inquired, concern lacing her words.

"It's Jackson. Jaebeom was taken to the hospital," I shared.

Fear flashed across her face. "He's okay right? Tell me he's okay!"

"I need to go find out, but I don't want to leave you alone. Is there anyone...." I trailed off not knowing who, if anyone she was close with these days.

As if an answer to unspoken prayer, Sharay's phone rang. I looked over and saw the caller ID read / _Donghae Oppa_ /. 'Perfect!' I thought and asked if could answer it.

Acquiescing, she handed her phone to me, since she was still in no shape to talk with anyone.

"Hello," I began. "This is Park Jinyoung answering for Sharay, is this Lee Donghae?"

After a quick conversation and an explanation that I really was concerned about leaving Sharay alone but needed to go to the hospital because of Jaebeom, Donghae hyung offered to meet us at the hospital entrance. It was something in his voice that lead me to suspect that he had some insight I lacked, but I let it slide.

Donghae hyung was waiting for us and he secured Sharay in his car before turning to me and asking, "What's up with those two? Jaebeom regularly comes to church and just stands and watches Sharay through the one-way mirror and skulks off when he sees someone coming. It just makes no sense."

I agreed with him, but couldn't offer anything to clarify the situation. As he left, Donghae promised he'd keep an eye of Sharay and asked to be kept informed about Jaebeom's condition. We quickly exchanged numbers.

I headed up to Jaebeom's room. Jackson was pacing like a trapped animal. He wasn't inclined to hang around Jaebeom anymore than absolutely necessary, since he was still incensed about the whole blind date thing. Nonetheless, he loved Jaebeom like an older brother and was obviously worried about him. Jackson was emotionally warring with these emotions and his divided loyalty.

"Thank God you're here. I gotta get out of here," and darted out the door while exclaiming, "Jaebeom hyung will tell you about his condition."

After Jackson's departure, I turned to Jaebeom who looked like he'd been through a war himself and lost.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I felt like I was in a dark tunnel and could hear a voice talking to me from a far way off. Finally, after some effort, I was able to make out Jackson's voice calling my name. I also heard other voices and felt hands moving me and loading me onto a vehicle. Sometime later, I was being evaluated in the ER of a hospital and only truly came to when someone tried unsuccessfully to pry the envelope Sharay had given me from my hand.

They ran a few blood tests and determined that I hadn't had a heart attack. Apparently, it was more along the lines of a panic attack, but the similarities were enough that they had done an EKG as well to be on the safe side.

By the time Jinyoung arrived, I was sitting up in bed hooked up to a heart monitor and Jackson was pacing the room. He felt very uncomfortable being around me these days. Can't say I blamed him. As soon as he could, Jackson departed.

"Why're you here?" I asked nervously, checking to make sure the door was closed before speaking. "You were supposed to stay with Sharay." My tone sounded harsh, but Jinyoung didn't seem to take offense.

"She's with Donghae. She'll be fine," Jinyoung offered.

I relaxed immediately, knowing that Donghae'd take good care of her. He'd proven that during that past several months. Also, he seemed to have an idea that something was up, but kept it to himself. I knew he'd spotted me on more than one occasion lurking around the church, checking on Sharay.

After a few minutes, Jinyoung seem confident that I was going to be alright left alone, so he headed out too. For the first time since arriving, I pulled out the envelope Sharay had given me and pulled out the contents. As I held the ring and leather necklace in my hands, I vowed she would be wearing it again in three day's time. Then I turned to the letter and began to read.

_Dear Jaebeom,_

_I must have written this letter half a dozen times, but two things have remained the same. First, I still love you and always will. There's nothing you did to earn my love and there's nothing you can ever do to lose it. You have no say in that. Secondly, though I was the only one who was sincere in my feelings, you still made me feel special. You were my first love, my first kiss, my first boyfriend. I will always be thankful._

_Yes I am hurting, and probably will for the rest of my life to some degree, but I don't blame you. I'm not Eliza Hamilton, so I would never wish for you to "Burn." I love you enough that I want you to be happy, even if the person you are happy with isn't me. You deserve that and more. Even though we didn't have a lot of time together, I'm grateful for what you gave me, as it was more than I deserved. You deserve the best, and clearly, that isn't me. I have no delusions about that. I'm not putting myself down, just stating the obvious facts._

_Please know that anything you told me, whether it was the truth or not, will never be shared. I will keep your confidences. I also will never badmouth you or hurt you in any way. To do so would be inconsistent with the meaning of love._

_I wish you the best and hope that you find happiness and all that you want in life. I will be cheering you on from the sidelines at the back of the crowd. You will now forever be my ultimate bias._

_I Love You!_

_Sharay_

My chest began aching again, but this time I knew it was heartbreak. How was she ever going to forgive me? I'd hurt her so much. Reading that I was her bias really choked me up, as I knew what that meant to her.

Before I had fully dissolved into an emotional wreck, the door to the room opened and in walked my grandfather. The previous feelings of shame, sadness, and an aching desire to run to Sharay and tell her I loved her, were pushed aside by an immediate flare up of hatred and anger directed towards the man standing in front of me.

"My aids tell me that you spoke with that girl today," he began.

"Your minions you mean!" I retorted with sarcasm dripping with every word.

"Pity. You were so close to the deadline," he pushed.

"Not so fast old man. I didn't tell her a thing. Your guys know that and my being here without her is proof of that. This ring is proof of that," I countered, holding up the ring.

"Can't blame me for trying," he said laughing at me. "Guess she doesn't want you now, so it doesn't really matter anyway whether you make it a couple more days or not. I won't have to approve of the marriage after all," he gloated while pointing back at the ring.

"That's where you're mistaken. You're projecting. Sharay's not like that. She'll forgive me. I guess your men either never shared with you what they found out while observing Sharay or, if they did, you didn't bother listening, for if you had, you would've known that she's exactly the type of girl who would bring honor to any family. She's kind, loving, loyal, a hard worker, supportive of me, filial, and driven. She intelligent, creative, and has her priorities straight and never veers off course."

"We'll see about that," he responded dismissing my description. "I'm getting a full report on all they found out about her over the past several months and I'll decide how to best use that information to tarnish her reputation. She'll not want you then, knowing it was because of you."

"Go for it! Her character in unimpeachable and I know it. Also her love for me is steadfast and she won't hold your actions against me," I challenged him. "Just remember that if anything you put out there is a lie, I'll come after you through the courts."

"Hollow threats, Jaebeom. Money isn't a problem for me, as you well know, and any court fine or penalty I'd have to pay wouldn't make a dent in my finances. This isn't over until Saturday. I have more than two full days and I'm sure something will come up that'll make you go running to her to tell her about our deal or she'll come to hate you. She's an American. She'll never understand or appreciate the whole thing about the family registry. Either way, I win!"

"Never!" I shouted. "She's stronger than you think, and she will take me back and forgive me. I'm confident about that," I said, not sharing the contents of her letter which was all the assurance I needed to support my claim.

"You know, Jaebeom, you're a lot like me. You're strong willed, intelligent, and driven. You get that from me. That's why I wanted to take you under my wing and not lose you to the entertainment business. I still have plans for you to join me and my business someday," gloated the old man in front of me.

"Maybe I got those traits from you. Maybe not. But if so, that's where the similarities end. The difference between us is huge, because I use those things for good and to help those I love and not to hurt others. And just for the record, I'll never work for you or with you. Ever!" I stated with conviction.

For a good full minute we had a staring contest. I almost had to laugh at one point as I thought of Sharay commenting that I could close my eyes and pretend I was still looking at him and he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Sad thing is, his eyes were slits too and the old coot may be doing that with me already!

Finally, he turned and with a dismissive wave of the hand he departed saying, "See you Saturday. Remember, you can't tell anyone about this or the deal's off."

After the door closed behind him, I let out a big sigh of relief. I felt like I'd been holding my breath the entire time. Just as I relaxed, though, the bathroom door opened and Jinyoung walked out looking at me with wide eyes and an incredulous look on his face.

"Jaebeom-ah?" he asked. "Did I hear that right? This whole thing is his sick twisted idea because of not wanting you to marry Sharay? Has he threatened to remove you from the family registry? Wow, that's cruel. I know you and Sharay both want kids and having children with a foreign parent would be enough of a stigma in the eyes of some, not me of course, but not having them on the registry would be a double whammy."

"I can't comment. I can't share with anyone. You heard him," I replied cautiously.

"I get it," said Jinyoung nodding in understanding. Then all of a sudden his eyes flew wide open, "Oh crap!"

Frantically, he grabbed his phone out and dialed, "Mark, you haven't gone in to take care of the cats yet have you?" He let out a sigh of relief. "No, don't bother. I'll do it when I get home it a bit. Jaebeom wants me to get something for him anyway and it would be too complicated to explain how to find it over the phone. Thanks for offering to help out though."

Jinyoung hung up and turned to me, "That would've been bad. I'd asked him to take care of the cats, since Jackson said you'd be in the hospital for at least overnight. I'd told him where you put the access code to your room. Fortunately, he had been on the phone with Jackson and, after that, with the rest of the guys letting them know you were in the hospital, so hadn't had the chance to go do anything yet. I know you can't comment, but if I don't miss my bet there's stuff in there that'd result in violating the deal you made. Why else would you have gone to such extreme measures the day you came back from the airport?"

I smiled at my JJP partner and offered, "Thanks for standing by me this entire time. I know you've given me the benefit of the doubt. I appreciate it. At the same time, I appreciate Jackson and the others for being loyal to Sharay. Based on what was known to them, they acted honorably, and I would have been disappointed if they'd done differently."

"Look, "Jinyoung said," I think I should go and take care of the cats now, just in case Mark decides to try and help out unnecessarily. Call me when you get discharged and I'll come pick you up, okay?"

"Thanks," I responded, meaning so very much more that any words could convey.

After Jinyoung departed, I read through Sharay's letter again. I had my work cut out for me. She might still love me. She might forgive me, but her self confidence was trashed and it would take a lot for me to reassure her that she was worthy and perfect.

**▼▽── Jinyoung ──▽▼**

When I went to the restroom before leaving Jaebeom's room, I hadn't expected to find myself listening in on the makings of a KDrama where the grandfather was the evil one. If I hadn't heard it first hand from him through the closed door, I'm not sure I would have believed it. It did make all the pieces fit together though: the men who were following Jaebeom, his change in attitude and behavior, the blind date, the lock on room, and his following Sharay to the airport, not to mention his facial expressions just a few hours before, and his behavior at church as described by Donghae.

I at least had the foresight to not flush the toilet and waited until I was firmly convinced that Jaebeom's grandfather was gone before I emerged from the restroom. After a short discussion with Jaebeom, actually I did little talking, I headed home to take care of his cats. I was very curious to see what he'd hidden in his room that needed protecting.

As I entered the flat, I was accosted by the other members wanting to know how our leader was. I was able to confidently tell them he'd be released the next day, since I'd bumped into his doctor on the way out of the unit and had been told so. After assuaging their concerns, I surreptitiously found the key code Jaebeom had sequestered in the Hamilton CD case nearly six months prior and entered his room when the others were occupied.

Securing the door behind me, I was greeted with feline curiosity. His cats, not having seen anyone other than their owner, and occasionally the ajumma from church, during the past six months cautiously approached me. Kunta and Odd were the first to emerge and demand loving. They were followed by Nora, who kept looking back under the bed, from whence a younger tortoise shell calico finally emerged.

I recognized this newcomer immediately as the kitten Sharay had given Jaebeom on their six month anniversary. I quickly surmised that the cat carrier I'd seen him depart with had been empty. It'd all been a ruse to throw me and anyone else off.

As the newcomer approached, I picked her up and noticed that she had a name tag hanging from her collar. The tag was heart shaped and the name engraved on it read, "Secret Promise." How appropriate.

Also in the room were photos of Jaebeom and Sharay. The place almost looked like a shrine. I saw several journals that looked filled with writing and assumed they contained his thoughts over the past season, but respected Jaebeom's privacy and looked no further than just flipping to see the filled pages. Against the wall was the piece de resistance: a dart board with a photo of his grandfather, taken from a financial magazine spread, as the target. The picture was riddled with holes. I chuckled as I recalled our last time playing darts. I'd noticed a huge jump in Jaebeom's skill level. Know I knew that he'd been "practicing" with a purpose.

After cleaning the kitty litter, feeding the cats, and changing their water, I returned to the living room. I must have had a smile on my face as I was thinking about how things would unfold on Saturday, as Mark commented, "I've never seen you so happy about cleaning kitty litter before."

Chuckling, I smiled in response but offered nothing more.

 


	36. Operation "Pimil Yagsog"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom knows that Sharay will probably run if he tries to talk to her, so he enlists the help of Jinyoung to get her to go to his room and learn the truth about the past 6 months through his writings and his little furry friend.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I'd planned on showing up at Sharay's officetel on Saturday and telling her everything while begging for her forgiveness. Now I knew I needed another plan. There was no way she'd ever open the door for me after our encounter on Wednesdays. Approaching her in public would probably have equally as disastrous results. I wasn't exactly confident at the moment that she wouldn't reject me, and I didn't do rejection well.

I needed a Plan B. That's where Jinyoung came in. Since it was actually my grandfather who'd spilled the beans, he knew everything and with little added information on my part could grasp what I needed to accomplish. Basically, I needed to lure Sharay to the flat and into my room under the guise that I was still in the hospital and no one else was available to take care of the cats. I only hoped her soft heart for my fur babies would be enough to overcome her probable fear of me and desire to avoid me at all costs.

Once she got in the room, I had to make sure she saw the kitten, read certain specific entries in the journals I had been keeping for her, and hope that she didn't bolt beforehand.

It took some effort to decide what entries I felt she absolutely had to see to understand why I'd done what I did and that my feelings for her hadn't wavered once throughout the past six months. If anything, my resolve to be with her had grown even stronger. I settle on four entries. The first was the day of our six month anniversary when I followed her to the airport. The second was the first time I watched her through the window at the church's nursery and was spotted by Donghae hyung, the third was the fan meeting, and the last was this past Wednesday when we bumped into each other at the company. I also recorded a message and left it on a flash drive that I attached to the last entry.

Jinyoung's role would be crucial. He had to convince her that I was still in the hospital and that his phone was running out of charge. He'd have to get her to respond to text messages on my phone since mine would be fully charged. That would be when I'd take over.

That was where it would be touch and go. I'd have to encourage and convince her to go to the flat and keep her from leaving before she read the journal entries and saw the video. She was strong willed and not one who was easily manipulated, so I had to play things just right. Fortunately, I'd be able to see what she was up to courtesy of the baby monitor, AKA the "kitty cam", I'd set up to keep an eye on my cats while I was away.

The whole plan could work out well or it could all go horribly wrong. I had two days to wait, my grandfather could throw a monkey wrench into the works with his shenanigans, Sharay could head out of town, she could decide she'd block communication with Jinyoung again, and a host of other things.

I needed to keep focused and think positively. First off, I had to acknowledge that there wasn't much I could do about my grandfather, so I needed not to dwell on that or I'd go crazy. I still had a decent idea of Sharay's plans courtesy of my lawyer TJ, and knew that she would probably be still concerned about me enough to answer a call from Jinyoung until she knew I was alright. The hard part would be convincing her that going to the flat would be free of the risk of bumping into me.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

Originally, I'd planned to head out of town so I was nowhere near Jaebeom or people in general on Saturday, but I was too worried about his health to do that under the circumstances. I felt compelled to remain nearby until I knew he'd been discharged from the hospital at least. Since there was no news about his hospitalization in the first place, much less his release, I was reliant upon updates from Jinyoung. This meant, of course, that for the first time in six months I was answering his calls.

The timing of Jaebeom's hospitalization was troubling me. Had he been working too hard? Did he hurt his back again and they were trying to keep things quiet? Jinyoung wouldn't elaborate and I didn't feel it was my place or right to pry for details. As such, I worried excessively as Thursday, then Friday passed and there was still no indication he would be released.

Saturday morning I got a call from Jinyoung that really put me on edge though.

**▼▽── Jinyoung ──▽▼**

Today was going to be my most important acting job ever. My role was to play the friend in need of assistance and then pull a fast one on Sharay so she and Jaebeom could reunite.

"Sharay?" I asked after she picked up my call. "I need your help with something. I hope you can put personal feelings aside to do this."

I could tell her guard went up immediately, but she nonetheless responded, "What'd you need?"

"All the guys have other commitments and I'm stuck here with Jaebeom. The cats really need to be tended to. It's been a couple of days and..." I trailed off not wanting to offer any more than absolutely necessary.

I was greeted with deafening silence, so I prompted, "Sharay? Are you there?"

"Yes. I'm here, but I really don't think I can help you. I don't think Jaebeom would want me anywhere near his personal space. I'm sure you can find someone else," she offered sounding very nervous and like she was about to hang up on me.

"Well, I guess I could ask someone else, but you know Nora with strangers. She's likely to bite and claw them to shreds. She even does that with the other members most of the time, but she was always sweet and responsive to you," I truthfully offered.

Again there was a very long pregnant pause on the other end of the phone before Sharay replied, "I don't know Jinyoung. I'm not sure I can do that. It's just too much. I can't..."

At that she seemed at a loss for words. I had to resort to basic begging and cajoling. Everything from the cats running out of food and water to the hygiene concerns of the kitty litter left unattended for too many days.

Finally, I thought I had her worn down when she asked, "Jaebeom is still in the hospital, right? There's no chance I'd run into him is there?"

"Would I ask for your help if he could get there?" I asked, feeling a bit like a heel because I was being duplicitous. At least I knew it was for a good cause.

"How do I get in though?" she followed up.

Bingo. I knew I had her now, so I said, "The main door key code is the same. Jaebeom, however, has a lock on his door so, when you get there, you'll need to get with me so I can tell you were to find it. Alright?"

"No. Actually it's not alright. But I'll do it this once. But after this I'm done. I can't interact with him and his world anymore. And that includes you. It's just too much for me. I hope you can understand," Sharay replied sounding very weary and drained.

Now all I had to do was the switch. This was the tricky part.

"Look. Sharay. My phone's about to die and I don't have a charger available. I need to go somewhere I can't talk anyway, so I'm gonna have to finish this call and give you the follow up instructions using Jaebeom's phone. You can handle that, right?"

Again there was a very long pause. I could hear her breathing escalate as if she were almost panicking.

"How about I text you with that phone right now so you knew it's me and then we can switch over to his phone before mine fully dies. It's below the red so I'm getting worried." I prompted.

"I'm not liking this one bit, but okay."

I hung up the phone and took Jaebeom's cell from him and sent a text to Sharay:

"Sharay?" I asked. "See, it's me," I offered. "Will you please text with me on his phone? My cell is all but dead and hospitals frown on cell phone usage in some areas, but I can get away with texting. Alright?"

"Okay," was the response I got but she sounded shaken up.

"What's the matter?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"It really hurt to see Jaebeom's name come up on my caller ID. It's been six months...I never heard from him and I forgot to change it and it still reads out ..." there she trailed off.

"I'm sorry," was all I could offer. "Hey, I gotta go so I'll text you. Please reply when I do Okay?"

"Okay," was the fragile sounding whisper on the other end of the phone.

Turning to Jaebeom, I handed him his phone. He took it and thanked me.

"What did she say when you asked what was the matter?" he pushed for details. His brow was furrowed with worry.

"Apparently, she'd been hoping you'd call all this time and since you hadn't she'd forgotten that she hadn't changed the caller ID for your number. She couldn't get out what it was, but it apparently shook her up pretty badly. I guess that's why it took a while to respond."

"Thanks Jinyoungie," Jaebeom said as he gave me a bear hug.

"Let me know how it goes. I'm heading over to the company know with that press release you drafted and will get that set up so it hits right about the time you wrap things up. I wish you the best." And with that I left the flat. Glancing back, as I closed the door to my room I saw Jaebeom nervously fumbling with his phone on my bed.

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I did not like this arrangement at all. I was going to have to go to Jaebeom's flat and into his room without his permission. On top of that, my communication with Jinyoung was limited to texts on Jaebeom's phone. Every time he sent a message my heart all but leapt into my throat as the caller ID flashed the ID I had set for Jaebeom when we had been dating. It was a painful reminder and jolted me each time. Being today of all days it made things even worse.

Steeling myself, I dressed warmly and headed out into the cold. I didn't live too far away, but since it had been snowing and the sidewalks were all icy, I decided to hail a cab. I'd get there is about five minutes.

As the cab dropped me off in front of Jaebeom's flat and I emerged into the chill winter wind, I felt my resolve begin to shatter. I started trembling and shaking in a way that was more from nerves but was compounded by the cold. I stood at the entrance to the building for at least 10 minutes before I got the nerve to even enter the front doors where my forward progress was arrested yet again.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see a message from Jaebeom. No. Correction. Not Jaebeom. Jinyoung. Jaebeom would never be contacting me again. I sank into a crouch and tried to will myself to reply to the message which read:

After several more deep breaths, I replied.

Finally, I was able to get the tremors to subside a bit so I could walk somewhat steadily. I pushed the elevator call button and waited for the door to open. Entering, I turned to the key panel and input the access code I knew so well and then the floor number. The doors closed and the elevator began to smoothly ascend.

With a "bing" the doors opened directly into the boys' flat. I had the fleeting thought that they were a bit stupid not to have changed the access code. What if I'd been some crazy psycho ex-girlfriend who had burst in and attacked them or trashed the place? I held back a nervous giggle at the thought.

Stepping into the living area, I noticed little had changed. I stopped momentarily and sent a text to Jinyoung letting him know I was in.

I did as instructed and pulled out the slip of paper then replaced the case. As I reached the door, I unfolded the paper, but Jaebeom's handwriting sent me reeling again and I had to catch my breath. Regaining my composure, I began punching in the code: 821128. The numbers tickled something in the back of my mind, but I gave I no further thought, as I was intent on getting the job done and then hightailing it out of there as fast as I could.

As I opened the door I was careful to make sure there were no feline escape artists darting past me. I quickly secured the door behind me and entered.

My eyes started to tear up and my breathing became rapid and irregular the moment I entered Jaebeom's room, as I could feel his presence. His scent permeated the air. That special scent that was just him; a mixture of cinnamon and musk hung heavy in the air because the room had been closed up for a while. Memories of being in his arms jumped unbidden to my mind: waking up in his arms in the car on Alligator Alley, the two nights we had fallen asleep in one another's arms, that time in the bathroom when he lent me his shirt, and many more came flooding back like a tsunami.

Again, I felt the earth sway underneath me and I had to crouch down for fear I would pass out otherwise.

I glanced at my messages upon hearing the notification buzz.

It was almost as if Jinyoung could see me freaking out and I wonder what Jaebeom would think if he could see me now. I shook my head to dispel the thought and then went to stand up just as Odd and Kunta came barreling towards me. These two were always so super friendly, and apparently they had missed having company. I reached out and gave them some love while scanning the room for Nora. So far she was nowhere to be seen. Typical. She would either demand attention if she felt you had ignored her for too long a time or she would sulk and play hard to get. Since it had been six months since I'd seen her, I figured she was doing the latter in a show of putting me in my place. I only hoped she would grace me with her presence before I finished up what I'd come to do, as I probably would never see her again.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The hardest thing I ever had to do was pretend I was Jinyoung just long enough to convince Sharay to get to my room and read the journal I'd written. Though I knew how much I'd hurt her, my heart was being ripped apart by her hesitancy and lack of confidence. Her fear of me and the possibility of meeting up with me was evident with her every comment and delayed response. It confirmed my suspicions that she wouldn't have let me in had I show up at her place or she would have bolted had I tried to meet her somewhere. I only hoped that I could assuage her concerns and reassure her of my love before the morning was over. I ached to see her confident and sure of herself and me again.

It took a lot of coaxing to get her into the building and up to the flat. When she walked into my room I could see her with the camera system I had set up and noticed how shaky and hard this was on her. Fortunately, Odd and Kunta greeted her nicely and calmed her down a touch. I wasn't sure what it was that took her aback the moment she walked in the room, but it must have been something pretty powerful as she crouched down as if she were afraid she would feint otherwise. Her response and obvious distress made me start second guessing whether or not I was going about this the right way in my haste to reconcile with her. I knew from the texts that this was hard on her, but as was typical of texting, the full range and intensity of emotions were lost in the translation. On the ""kitty cam", however, it was clear she was struggling.

Grabbing my cell I hastily typed out:

Now I knew she was close to losing it. Sharay was a master of sarcasm. In fact she regularly quipped that sarcasm was her second language, but she usually only went in to full sarcastic mode when she was defensive and hurting. Before stopping and thinking I replied:

As she hit send, she walked resolutely over to my desk and looked down at the note I had written which lay on top of the journals. She reeled and had to sit down to catch herself. After a split second she bolted from the chair and made a beeline to the door. I'd been ready for this.

Her hand was on the door when she felt the phone in her hand vibrate and she looked down at my message.

 

Standing there looking at my text, Sharay was shaking her head obviously debating what course of action to take next. Stay or run?

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I was on heightened alert and feeling very vulnerable. As I stood I could feel myself swaying, but got a grip and had every intention of heading towards Jaebeom's desk when my phone buzzed again.

I was always super sarcastic when I felt defenseless or vulnerable and used sarcasm and irony as a shield to protect myself. I almost snorted imagining Jaebeom being on the other end of that text. Well. It was true. I mean it's not like he could do anything worse, right? My phone vibrated again.

Wait! That didn't sound like Jinyoung. Jinyoung was savage and would probably comeback with a response that slayed. Maybe something like "He'd need bigger eyes to do any real damage" or something like that. Then when I saw Jaebeom's note addressed to me it hit me. It wasn't Jinyoung. It was Jaebeom. I bolted towards the door, but my cell vibrated again.

I was rooted to the spot. If it had been Jinyoung, he would have just said so. This had to be Jaebeom. I felt like a mouse in a trap and I wasn't sure how to extricate myself. Just as I was contemplating bolting from the room, Nora appeared from under the bed and wrapped herself around my legs in a greeting. As she meowed at me I spotted movement from under the bed, but looking to my right I noticed that Odd and Kunta were still nearby.

Cautiously, I crouched down and from under the overhanging bed clothes peered a little face with big blue eyes and a tortoise shell pattern. I was so startled that I fell right over and when my phone vibrated again I looked at it on impulse.

The kitten slowly emerged and came over to check me out. She was curious but careful. As she came near enough, I could see she had a purple heart shaped tag. Finally, when she was in reach, I began to stroke her little head and let her rub the side of her face against my hand. Once she was comfortable enough with me, she let me scoop her up and give her a hug. Only then was I able to make out the writing on the tag. "Pimil Yagsog."

Nora was thrilled that I loved "her" kitten, but she wanted in on the action too. Soon enough I had all four in my lap competing for attention. I sat that way for a good long time just trying to wrap my mind around what was going on and trying to understand what the meaning of the kitten's name was and why Jaebeom had omitted saying he'd kept her. More than that, he'd purposefully lead me, and apparently everyone else for that matter, to believe that he had gotten rid of her.

Pet therapy is a great thing. These four critters helped me to calm down quite a bit. Until my phone vibrated again and I jumped, causing them to startle and scatter to safe hiding places.

I braced myself and looked at the read out on my phone.

 

I was in full on defense mode and when that happens the b-atch surfaces, but the moment I hit send I regretted it, so I followed up with another text.

My temper flared again. He was like a broken record. As I stood I kept muttering "Read the note on the desk. Read the note on the desk" under my breath, but I soon found myself by the desk again looking at the note. The note that had jolted me earlier when I'd identified his handwriting long before deciphering the meaning of the words a few minutes earlier.

This time I was a bit better prepared, so I pulled out the chair and sat down. More so I wouldn't fall over than because of any intent to stay for any significant period of time.

The note was sitting on top of a stack of three journals. Blinking back tears I read the note:

_Sharay,_

_Please don't run. I really need to share some things with you. First, know I love you and that I am so sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted to do that. Secondly, I'm sorry I broke your trust by not letting you know what was going on. My hands were tied. Below this note are three journals. I've been writing in them for the past six months. I've marked four of the entries with post-it tabs. The rest are for you to read at your leisure, but before you leave today, would you please at least read those four and then listen to the recording on the thumb drive to your right? Take whatever time you need. I've never stopped loving you. Not for a moment._

_Jaebeom_

I sat there for a moment trying to regain my composure. He said he loved me and hadn't stopped. Could that be true? Was this some sort of a sick joke? Or was this for real? With a great deal of trepidation, I reached for the top journal, reasoning that reading the four entries would be the only way to find out.

**_ June 8 – Our six month anniversary _ **

_Sharay,_

_The expression "hind sight is 20/20" is an understatement. If only I'd know what was going to happen, I would have done things differently. I was so sure I'd shared every detail, both significant and insignificant, about my life with you, but yesterday proved me wrong. I shared all the things I thought were significant and ended up leaving out something huge only because I never considered it important. I should have told you about my grandfather._

_My grandfather is someone I never even knew existed until I was eight years old. I've only met him four times in my life; the last time being yesterday. I should have known based on the previous three encounters that his presence at my parents' house didn't bode well. If only I'd called you when I saw his car and chauffeur and given you a quick rundown on the bastard, then maybe you could have figured out he was involved in my changed behavior towards you and you would have some peace over the next six months. I'll probably kick myself for that oversight a dozen or more times a day for the rest of my life._

_Back to my grandfather. Jinyoungie and Park Jin Young are the only ones who know anything about him. Jinyoungie only knows he's a jerk. The truth is he's the 15th wealthiest man in Korea. I guess that technically makes me a third generation chaebol. What a joke, eh? In any case, he's always used his wealth to try and get his way._

_When I was eight he tried to bribe me with money to leave my parents and live with him. At that age, I had no real concept of money and, since I didn't lack for anything, I certainly wasn't going to trade my parents for him. I found out at that time that he'd disapproved of my parents getting married and, as a result, my dad had cut off ties with him. Actually it was mutual. My dad cut off ties and my grandfather cut him out of the will and cut off his finances. Apparently, my parents hadn't planned on children because they didn't want to give my grandfather any leverage, but I was an "oops" baby. It explains why I ended up being an only child. My parents didn't want him to have any more sway over them than necessary._

_I digress. I decided then and there that I wouldn't allow my grandfather to control me, and since he was so all fired bent on money being a big deal, I informed him I was going to be an idol and wouldn't need his stinking money anyway. Yeah. I was pretty cocky then and didn't really understand what that entailed. As he left that day, he laughed at me and told me I would never be a success without him. I guess my determination to prove him wrong was one of the things that spurred me on through my time as a trainee._

_When Jinyoung and I were set to debut as JJ Project, my grandfather showed up with an entourage hoping to convince Park Jin Young to stop his "experiment." Fortunately Hyung was just as pig-headed and strong willed as my grandfather, and had enough money that he was not susceptible to bribes. He ended up telling my grandfather to "go pound sand" as you would say. Jinyoung overheard part of the conversation so knew my grandfather was bad news._

_When JJ Project wasn't as successful as hoped, and Jinyoung and I were returned to trainee status, my grandfather called to gloat and call me a failure. He again reminded me that I wouldn't amount to anything unless I was under his wing. Little did he know that his attitude actually spurred me on through that tough time and helped me keep strong. I wasn't about to let him win._

_When GOT7 was set to debut, my grandfather tried his shenanigans again, but that time I was stronger and didn't need to rely on Hyung fighting him. I did have, after all, six other people who would lose out big time if I withdrew. For over four years I hadn't heard from my grandfather. I guess that's why he didn't come to mind when we talked. He was less than nothing in my life._

_Even when I saw his car at my parents', the red flags didn't go up. Naively, I thought I had enough clout and financial stability to fend him off. I was wrong. This time his approach was way more personal._

_As you know, in Korea, being on a family registry is a really big deal. My grandfather hit below the belt and said I had to break up with you or he'd remove my dad (and of course me and any children I might have in the future) from the family registry. Though my dad said he was okay with that, I could tell by the look on his face that he really wasn't. My mom was very concerned, because she knew that a child born of a Korean and a foreigner would have a difficult time being accepted in some circles on a good day, much less without being on a family registry. She was thinking of our future family, and so were my dad and I._

_I was basically left with the choice of dumping you or having my dad and future children lose their birthright. I had very little time to think so quickly devised a Plan B. My Plan B would feed into my grandfather's sense of competition and ego. All I had to do was trust that our love was strong enough to withstand the test. So....I agreed to go on a blind date and make it look like I'd broken up with you, but never actually say those words to you or to the media. I'd have to keep up this charade for six full months._

_Now I have to go six months without letting you or anyone know that it is all a ruse. If I can do that, and you'll forgive me and take me back, then my grandfather will forever be prevented from removing my dad, me, or any children I have or adopt from the family registry. Furthermore, he'll have to recognize me as his heir (actually he can keep his stinking money. I don't want it) and give our marriage and children his blessing. I did however, stipulate that he wouldn't have any role or influence in the lives of our children and wouldn't be invited to the wedding. Not trusting my grandfather, I said I'd go along with this as long as I could get my lawyer to review it to make sure he couldn't pull a fast one on me. Needless to say, the only lawyer I can trust is your mom._

_Before signing off on this deal with the living devil, I spoke with your mom and she assured me that I was doing the best thing under the circumstances and that she'd keep an eye on you over the next six months. She knew this would be a devastating blow to you. Her only proviso was that I send you back to Florida as soon as I told you of the supposed break up. Unfortunately, as my attorney, she's bound by confidentiality and won't be able to tell you or your dad what is really going on. I feel badly that I've put her in this really untenable spot. I hope you don't hold it against her that she has to keep this from you._

_After leaving my parents, I was required to go on a blind date with some bimbo from some chaebol family. My grandfather had photographers primed to take photos that made it look like we were on a date, complete with camera angles that made our interactions look compromising. He really was hoping that I would find her attractive, as he considered her the "perfect future daughter-in-law." The jokes on him though, as that woman is considering undergoing a sex change operation just to spite her parents! So much for ideal! HA!_

_After coming back from the "date," I booked a fight for you to Florida. This morning I showed you those insidious photos from the "date" and had to sit there and do and say nothing to console you while I saw you crumble before my eyes. All I can say is that I am so sorry and will do what I can for the rest of my life to try and make it up to you._

_After I packed you into the taxi, I followed you to the airport. I wanted to make sure you made your flight. Though I didn't think you would do anything to hurt yourself, I wanted to make sure you were safely on your way home. I even bribed the airport security to let me enter the departure area so I could see you physically board the plane. I didn't leave for home until your plane took off. My heart left on that plane with you and it was in pieces._

_Arriving home was interesting. Let's just say that I think Jackson likes you a whole lot more than he does me. You know how he slugged that punching bag in the "It You Do MV? Well he really knows how to throw a punch. Funny thing is, it almost felt good to get pummeled by him. It made the pain from the inside transfer temporarily to the outside. I sure feel like I deserved at least that much and more._

_Poor Jinyoung had no idea how to take it. He knows me best and it seems like he's having a hard time reconciling the me he knows with the person I appeared to be last night and today. I think he's the only one who'll give me the benefit of the doubt. Even then, I'm not sure how long that will last. I'm pretty convinced that Jackson will stay mad at me for the full six months and maybe longer. He's a real grudge keeper. I'm glad he and the other guys are so loyal to you. It warms my heart to know that they care so much for you and, frankly, care enough about me to tell me what a real jerk I'm being. If only they knew._

_Not long ago your present arrived. She's the most adorable kitten ever. Nora dotes on her. I can only assume that you brought her over some time earlier to make sure they got along, as the old girl normally hates sharing me with anyone or thing. Unfortunately, I can't let anyone, especially you, know that I've kept her or it could trigger someone into questioning if our breakup is real. I can't take any chances that my grandfather would say I breached the contract._

_About an hour ago, I left the flat with the cat crate, hoping Jinyoung would think I was taking the kitten back or giving her away. In a couple of hours I have a locksmith scheduled to show up. I need this room secured from prying eyes. I've already decided on the door code. It will be 8/21 for the month and date you were born followed by 12/8, the day this contract will be over. 821128 will be the number I'll punch in every time I come into my room and every time I'll be thinking of you and counting down the days._

_As always, I love you._

_Jaebeom_

_PS. Since I am keeping my promise to love you even though it has to be a secret, even from you, I'm naming_ 우리 고양이 _(uli goyang-i/our cat) "_ 비밀 약속 _" (Secret Promise)._

That was the end of the first entry. I closed the book and got up from the table and headed towards the door.

I looked at my phone and wondered how he knew I was leaving, then I remembered the "kitty cam." Looking up it, I just shook my head and stepped out, but I made it clear I was leaving my phone behind signaling that I would return.

It was a bit too cold in the flat and I needed to warm up. My nerves were still shot and I was in full sensory overload. I headed to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea hoping the heat of the drink would warm me up and calm me down some. I then took a deep breath and reentered the room. Immediately my phone vibrated.

I just nodded my head, my back still to the "kitty cam", and opened the journal to the second entry.

**_ June 25th _ **

_Sharay,_

_Your mom called and said you were starting back up serving in the preschool area of church today. I hadn't seen you in 17 days and I was going crazy because of it. But that's selfish of me. Why did you come back to Korea? Isn't it harder for you? I've been trying not to bump into you at the company, because I know I can't keep a poker face around you. I'm sure I'd look like a love sick pup. I'd half hoped you'd stay in Florida where you could be supported by your parents, but today I was glad you'd returned because I got a chance to see you, even if it was from afar and pretty close to self induced torture._

_I went to church and sat in the back after purposefully arriving late. I know you always sit up front and are on time, and I didn't want to risk making you feel uncomfortable in case you spotted me. I could make out the back of our head, but I wanted more. I left the sanctuary before the end of service and sequestered myself in a stall in the men's room. I didn't want to be spotted, so I waited there until the second service had started and a good 20 minutes had passed. I wanted to avoid being seen by any stragglers. Pretty desperate, right?_

_After I thought it was safe, I spent the next 40 minutes standing outside the nursery watching you play with the preschoolers through the one-way glass. I have to say that the person who invented that, and the one who thought to use it at the church, will be high up on my thank you list for life. It breaks my heart that you can seem happy with the children and then in a moment you face shows pain. I can only assume I'm to blame for that. I am so sorry and hope you'll be able to forgive me. In a sick perverse way though, it gives me hope that you still love me despite what I've put you through._

_I was so engrossed in watching you that I almost got caught. Actually, I think I was. Lee Donghae came up and spotted me before I was able to pull up my hoodie and book out of there. I waited in my car in the parking lot and half an hour later saw you get into a car with Lee Donghae and Choi Siwon. Being very careful, I followed the three of you. I watched from afar as you had lunch together, and then followed their car again to discover they were taking you to an orphanage. That's when I left._

_Just a bit ago I called your mom. Apparently, she'd taken my suggestion and called the pastor and asked him to connect you with some people in the church who had ties with an orphanage. I know kids love you and that you thrive being around them, so I hope that was the right suggestion on my part. Maybe it will ease things for you a bit. I hope so._

_Who would have thought the people the pastor reached would out to would be those two members of Super Junior? I'm quite relieved. Though I only spoke with them briefly when we were setting up the videos to announce you and I were dating, Donghae hyung and Siwon hyung both seemed very kind and super genuine. I've seen them occasionally at church, but never had a chance to chat with them. I'm sure they'll look out for you well. Since they're in the industry they'll probably not be as inclined to ask about our relationship, so that'll save you having to talk about it. I'm guessing our pastor took that into consideration when selecting who to pair you up with for serving at an orphanage._

_It seems like days are passing so very slowly. I at least know when the end is, and I only wish you could know this was temporary too. I miss you so much and hate losing out on the time we'll never get back. I love you and want to be the one who makes you happy not sad._

_Counting down the days and minutes,_

_Jaebeom_

I was exhausted. As I was reading the journal entries, it almost felt like I was having an out of body experience. It didn't seem real and the words were barely getting though. Most of it was bouncing off. How could Jaebeom love me? Why me? I wasn't special. Why would he go through all this trouble for me? It didn't make sense.

I took a deep breath and placed the first journal aside and leaned back in the chair with my eyes closed. I had to steel myself for the rest. Maybe I would find out that he'd changed his mind and agreed with his grandfather that it was best not to be with me, or maybe he found someone else to love.

As I sat there thinking of all the possibilities, my phone vibrated again. Looking down I read:

I looked behind me and saw his favorite red Ventiments hoodie. Turning back to the journals, I just shook my head. Buzz!

I flipped my cell phone face down. This guy was relentless. I didn't need this! How on earth was I supposed to wear his sweatshirt? I mean, seriously? It was hard enough being in this room as it was. I was just barely able to block out the scent of him that permeated the air as it was. How was I supposed to function if that sweet scent of his shampoo and natural skin were so close to me? And it wouldn't end there. When I left, I was sure the scent would linger on my clothes. Also, just thinking about wearing something that had been touching his skin was more than I could deal with right now. That was tantamount to an indirect hug. I wasn't ready for that yet. Not now. Maybe not ever.

I turned back to the task at hand and picked up the second journal. Opening it to the yellow tab near the front I began reading again:

**_ August 2nd _ **

_Today we had a fan meeting and all was going relatively well until about 2 minutes in I got a sense of something. So, I started carefully looking around the room. That's when I spotted you at the very back. I very nearly lost it right there. I had the microphone to my mouth and almost hollered out your name out of habit. Fortunately, Jackson and Mark were goofing off and jostled me and I dropped my mic._

_As I went to retrieve it, I gathered my wits and knew that I couldn't acknowledge that I saw you there. I couldn't tip off the others or they'd go running to you. I was pretty sure you were ignoring them because of me and didn't want you to feel put on the spot or feel called out in any way, after all, you were wearing a hat and a mask in the middle of summer so you were clearly trying to go unnoticed._

_In an effort to come off casual, I stated to goof around and all with the Ahgase in the front of the room. All the while I was using my stealth mode (those squinty eyes you joked about the first day we met) to keep an eye on you. After a couple of minutes I thought that maybe I could send you a message and you'd catch on, so I launched into an acapella rendition of "Q." Unfortunately, it seemed to have the exact opposite affect than the one desired, as I saw you jump up and bolt out of the room._

_I very nearly chased after you, and would have done so but for Jinyoung who seemed to spot you at that moment and he grabbed my arm and pulled me close, whispering that I needed to leave you alone or I'd make things harder for you._

_The rest of the fanmeet was miserable. I had to try and keep up a happy appearance and a smiling face when all I wanted to do was kick myself. I realized way too late that my efforts would have been useful only if you had known about my grandfather, but out of the blue it would have seemed like I was some callous bastard who had moved on and didn't give a crap._

_All evening I've been trying to figure out why you came. At first I thought maybe you'd gotten over me and were just coming as a fan. That kinda hurt, but your reaction told me that wasn't the case. Knowing you were hurting, hurt even more. Maybe you were trying to see how you would feel if you saw me or were checking up on me like I'd been doing on you most weekends at the church? I'm such an idiot, because my actions made things even worse than they already were. Seems I have even more to apologize for._

_How am I ever going to regain your trust and confidence? How're you going to forgive me? Will you pull far away and shut your heart and feelings off to protect yourself from further hurt so that when the time comes you won't care why I did what I've done? All these thoughts keep racing through my mind and I have no answers. Just more questions._

_My grandfather called me a while ago and gloated. Not surprisingly he got word of what went down, as he has these goons who constantly follow and monitor the two of us. Guess he doesn't trust me. I also have to assume that they either don't share everything or he doesn't care what he's told, cuz he obviously should know how this is killing me and you, and he apparently doesn't care. Also, if he knew how great you are, then he would just voluntarily drop this whole thing. Then again I am talking about the guy who disowned his own son and hasn't ever made up with him even though my mom has proven to be the best thing for my dad and they've had a strong and loving relationship for over 25 years. Heartless bastard of a grandfather. I didn't know my grandmother, but I sure feel sorry for her._

_God forgive me, but there have been many a time I seriously pray for my grandfather to just die. Guess that kind of prayer goes unanswered, so I've set up a dart board with his picture on it and I use that on which to take out my frustrations. I'm getting really good at hitting right where I aim!_

_Each night I face the same dilemma. Do I stay up or do I try to sleep? Sometimes I lay there for hours, unable to sleep even when I want to. My mind races around and around like a hamster in a wheel. There's no progress. No resolution. It's exhausting and futile. I beat myself up and worry about how you're doing. This goes on for hours on end and then I finally pass out, only to wake up a short while later exhausted and in a foul mood._

_Other times I do go to sleep, but the same process occurs in my sleep. I run through all the things I should have done or said. The things I could have done; and I'm still left with the same result. This was the only thing I could do and it sucks! My attitude and temper get the best of me most days, as I'm exhausted and angry at myself, worried about you, and have to deal with the guys hating me. Tonight's probably going to be bad for both of us. If I could take all your hurt away and deal with it by myself, I would._

_Always and forever yours,_

_Jaebeom_

I stood up and walked out of the room leaving my phone behind. I couldn't deal with the emotions that were running through me and I certainly couldn't handle being bombarded with texts from Jaebeom right now. I was barely keeping it together. I needed a break away from the "kitty cam" and his eyes, even if just for a while, or I'd never get through the last entry much less a video. Signaling I'd be back by again leaving my phone on the desk, I walked out of the room.

 

 


	37. Kitty Cam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Sharay forgive Jaebeom and what about the rest of GOT7? will they be able to let go of their anger towards Jaebeom?

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

I was nervous waiting for Sharay to return to the room. I wished I'd installed cameras in the common area of the flat, but reasoned that she probably needed a break from my scrutiny. For fifteen minutes I paced in Jinyoung's room, restraining myself from going right out and meeting with her only because I knew she needed to read the next entry and see the video tape before I approached her. While she was gone, I heard the central heating in the place kick on.

Finally, the door opened and she reentered. Without a glance towards the camera she sat back down at my desk but not before removing her jacket. With her back to me, she bent her head and continued reading.

It was at times like this that I was thankful that Sharay was an avid and fast reader. She seemed to be reading at her regular pace, or at least close to it, which meant she wouldn't take much longer. I was very glad that she wasn't a slow reader like Jinyoung, who savored each and every word in a painstaking way, or Yugyeom who seemed all but illiterate at times. Even so, I lamented that I'd written in such detail, as I was anxious to have her finish. Guess I only had myself to blame though.

**༺ ¤○•°  Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

The break was exactly what I needed. I'd calmed down quite a bit having read a couple of the entries in Jaebeom's journal. To say I'd been flustered by knowing he was the one who manipulated my being here and that he was watching me on the kitty cam had really thrown me off kilter.

With a bit more ease about the situation, I was able to reason and took the time to head over to the thermostat controls. Though the temperature gauge read that it wasn't that cold in the flat, I was still feeling chilled. 'Probably a little shock' I reasoned to myself as I turned up the thermostat so I could warm up a bit. I'd just have to remember to reset it before leaving or their bill would be very high and they'd be sweating like all get out when they got home!

Returning to the room after a bit, I resisted the temptation to look up at the kitty cam. It's not like it was a two-way camera, so I had nothing to gain by it. Childishly, I wanted Jaebeom to be in the dark about what I was thinking, even if for just a short while. I knew my facial expressions would be a dead giveaway of my feelings, so chose to deprive him of that - for the time being.

Before sitting back down at Jaebeom's desk, I peeled off my coat, trusting the heater would do its job and warm the place up soon. Settling back in, I turned to the next tab.

** December 6 **

_It felt weird not writing to you yesterday, but I was a bit thrown for a loop by encountering you near the elevators at the company._

_Running into you like that really messed up my plans. Ending up yelling at you and getting admitted to the hospital was not what I'd had in mind either. I'd hoped to show up at your place on our one-year anniversary and tell you how much I love you and that I never stopped, but after how I yelled at you, I seriously doubt you would opened the door for me. Meeting you in another location would be useless as well. The minute you saw me, you'd probably bolt. So, here I am writing this hoping to soften your heart and ease your fears enough that you'll give me a chance to meet you face to face._

_I'd been checking the company schedule every day to know your whereabouts to avoid running into you unexpectedly. I even double checked with Mom to make sure you weren't planning on going in yesterday. She told me you were taking finals, so I let my guard down. I should have known that you'd finish up with your work early. I should have anticipated you'd come in and take care of some things on your day off. I know you well enough to have predicted those things, but I was so focused on preparing for our anniversary that I became lax._

_I think I'll regret yesterday for the rest of my life. How you must have felt; how you must have hurt to hear me talking with Wonpil and not mentioning our kitten. Though I have excuses, like not wanting to tip off the guy my grandfather had trailing me that I'd kept the kitten, it doesn't take away the pain I must have caused you. If I say I'm sorry a thousand times a day. Will you forgive me at some point?_

_When I heard you gasp, I didn't need to see your face to know it was you or that you were really devastated by my comment. My heart just crashed and my first instinct was to grab you, hold you, and reassure you I'd kept her and that I loved you. When I saw your expression, you were in shock and not looking at me. Just behind you was Jinyoung, who was standing there with his mouth agape, probably realizing for the first time why I'd locked the door to my room and instructed him to keep quiet about the kitten._

_I felt my options were limited. I could ruin all the effort of the past almost six months and rush to your side right then and there, or I could continue with this hideous charade for a bit longer, hoping you would understand and forgive me. I chose the latter. Since I knew my facial expression showed concern, I could only cover it my making the angriest and most hostile face I could. Nothing else would have explained my coloring or the shine in my eyes. Tears were threatening to spill, and I was fearful that my voice would crack and quaver when I spoke. I guess I overcompensated by yelling at you._

_When I saw your face crumple and fall completely, I knew I'd completely broken you. As you turned and darted away, bumping into Jinyoung, I was thankful he understood you needed him by your side. I'm also glad you didn't see my reaction after that._

_I'd never confirmed that I was breaking up with you. I'd fooled myself into thinking it never really happened by rationalized the fact that the last thing I'd said to you were words of love. I'd only shown you the photos and implied a breakup. I'd been clinging to the false belief that you'd somehow know my heart, but yesterday I actually said words directly to you that were negative and harmful._

_The moment your back was turned, a sharp pain jolted through my chest and my eyes went foggy first and then blackness collapsed in on me. I only came to when I felt myself being jostled and placed on a gurney under the careful watch of Jackson._

_Jackson looked like he'd rather be anywhere but by my side. He was like a thundercloud ready to explode. He's been so loyal to you, and for that I will forever be grateful. Like with you, I may have done irreparable harm to my relationship with the other guys._

_My heart still hurts. It's like sharp cramping pains radiating all throughout my body. I keep feeling cold, and my hands and feet seem to be somewhat disconnected from my body. At first, they thought I might have had a cardiac event, but they later diagnosed it as a severe panic attack. I think they were right the first time. It was true heart break. My heart was and is breaking for you. I can handle anything but hurting you like that. I felt so out of control and emasculated. The only thing I want is to love and protect you, and I've failed at showing you the first and doing the second._

_How will you ever be able to forgive me? Has this all been for naught? Was my grandfather correct? Can our love survive my words and actions? These thoughts paralyze me and seem to be playing on repeat without answers. I know that the next few days will afford me more questions and no answers. I'm almost afraid of Saturday because the answer may not be what I want it to be._

_My only hope is in our love and in the help I'm getting from Jinyoung. After getting you to Donghae, he came to see me to try and pry answers from me. Though I wanted to tell him everything, I wasn't about to take any chances. He didn't stay long and, shortly afterwards, my grandfather came by the hospital gloating. Fortunately, his pride and belief that he'd won loosened his tongue and he recounted everything. Unbeknownst to either of us, Jinyoung hadn't left, but had popped into the bathroom in the room and he overheard everything. Since it came from my grandfather's mouth and not mine, the truth came out without me violating the contract. That's when Jinyoungie and I concocted a plan that hopefully has you reading this right now._

_This is my last entry, but I'll be preparing a video file for you to watch. I can only hope that you'll take the time to see it. Whether you see it or not, whether you agree to meet with me or not, and whether you ever forgive me or not, know that I will always love you and be waiting for you. I have my eyes and heart focused on you._

_Your Jaebeom_

As that was the last entry, I closed the journal and took a deep breath. Reaching for the original note, I looked for the instructions on how to find the flash drive.

****⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰** **

Now that Sharay knew for sure that I was watching her on the kitty cam, she kept her back, so I couldn't see her expression. I was so nervous wondering how she would react. I was both hopeful and fearful, which made my stomach queasy in nervous anticipation. My palms were sweaty and I was unable to sit still, so I paced around the room trying to release the tension that seemed to build up faster than it could be discharged.

I knew Sharay was on the last entry and that it wouldn't be long before she got to the flash drive. I think I must have held my breath until I saw her insert the thumb drive into the computer. As she turned on the computer, and opened the program, I began second guessing everything I'd done and planned. Would it be enough to convince her? Did I even do the right thing in the first place? Would she forgive me? Even if she did, would she let me back into her life? How was I ever gonna help Sharay heal from the wounds I'd caused? These thoughts battered around in my head like a whirlwind and there were no answers I could provide.

****༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻** **

I started up the computer on Jaebeom's desk and once it booted, I inserted the thumb drive and opened up the movie file. Though I'd anticipated seeing his face, I wasn't prepared.

Jaebeom was seated in front of a camera. His eyes downcast. He was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt with apparent nervousness. His emotions were made more obvious by the clearing of his throat that he habitually did when he was delaying and trying to think before speaking. I noted he was chewing on his lower lip and trying to take deep breaths too.

Finally, he dragged his eyes up to look at the camera. Those eyes that I loved and which turned me weak every time I made contact with them. His face was a mass of emotions ranging from apologetic, to fearful, to hopeful. I felt my pulse race and my heart started to beat a strong heavy thrum, as he swallowed once more like his mouth was dry and he couldn't properly perform the task.

"Can we talk?" he asked simply, waiving his phone in his hand. His forehead was all scrunched up with the concern that the answer would be no.

Right them my phone rang. The tune it played was the one only set for his number. I visibly jumped at the sound and looked from phone to video. Absently, as if he could see me (oh yeah he could with the kitty cam) I nodded my head.

Standing up, I looked at my phone and hesitated one more second before swiping my finger to answer the call.

 

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Four rings and she hadn't picked up yet. I wasn't sure what I'd do if she didn't answer. Nonetheless, I quietly left Jinyoungie's room and headed toward mine with the phone to my ear.

*Click*

I could hear the call connect as the ringing cease.

*Silence*

"Sharay. I need to see you. I need you. Please!" I all but begged, as I inserted the code into the keypad of my door.

*Beep beep beep beep beep beep ...*

The code sounded as I entered the digits that reflected her birth day and month and today's date – our one year anniversary.

I slowly opening the door to see Sharay standing about three meters from me, still holding the phone to her ear. Then, her hand dropped and the phone tumbled to the floor.

For a second that seemed like forever, we stood there looking at one another, not speaking, not moving. Then I took giant strides towards her and, without thinking, enveloped her in my arms.

I heard sobbing and heavy breathing and it took me a bit to realize the sounds were coming from me and not her. Unwilling to let her go, for fear she only let me hold her because I took her by surprise, I took a deep breath and said in a chocked whisper, "I love you. 사랑해. I always have. I'm so sorry. 정말 미안해. i hope someday you can forgive me. 제발? I need you and can't live without you. Do you think you might be able to forgive me?"

"No," came a soft and simple response.

I felt the world spin out of control. I'd lost her. I'd lost everything. I felt my shoulders sag and my arms felt heavy as lead. I wasn't holding her any more as much as I was using her to hold myself up.

"No. I can't forgive you," she continued. I felt the darkness in my heart take over and I wanted to die.

"Forgiveness can only come when someone's done something wrong. The only one in the wrong here was your grandfather. You. You're blameless. So, forgiveness is unnecessary."

As these last words finally penetrated and I realized what she was saying, I also became aware of the fact that she was holding on to me as well. I felt like a veil of darkness was lifted and hope started filling me up.

I pulled back just enough to look at her face. She was smiling at me. SHE WAS SMILING AT ME. I almost screamed with joy at the realization.

"Thank you for loving me," she said. "Thank you for trusting in our love."

"I'm sorry I hurt you and made you sad," I blurted out, but she was shaking her head.

"Don't apologize. I was hurt and sad, but it was because I believed a lie. Now I know the truth, the lie has no power. I can remember the pain, but I don't feel it. I love you Jaebeom, and I can only feel joy knowing you love me too."

What had I done to deserve such a girl? She gave me grace and soothed my worries and fears so easily. As I looked in her eyes, the past six months of being apart came crashing down on me in full force.

I reach up and cupped her face in my hands and gently leaned in until my lips met hers. The softness of her lips and the taste of her drove me mad. I needed this girl on so many levels.

What began as a tender kiss and embrace quickly escalated into a passionate tussle moving us closer and closer to my bed, when a moment of sanity kicked in and I grabbed her hand and said, "Follow me!"

I all but dragged her from the room, rather hastily in fact, stopping only for a split second to snag her fallen phone from the floor and her coat from the back of the chair. I made sure the door was closed and then preceded to the elevator, her small delicate hand engulfed in mine. As we walked down the hall, she lagged behind a bit.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, as I madly jammed on the elevator call button a half dozen times as if it would make the elevator arrive more quickly.

Turning to her I shook my head and say, "No. On the contrary. You were doing everything right. That's why I had to get out of there. The temptation..."

Just then the elevator door opened and as we entered, she dragged me in and gave me a look that signaled she'd been just as tempted. With the doors closing us in, and as if on autopilot, I pinned her to the side of the elevator and my mouth found hers again.

*Ping*

As the doors opened, we were still in full embrace and I'd lost all self control.

"Er humph," I heard a voice being cleared. Looking up, we both spotted Jinyoung smiling broadly with his infamous cat whiskers around his eyes.

"Guess true love survived the test of the wicked grandfather," he jokingly commented.

Sharay's cheeks were pink and she buried her face in my chest. I just laughed and pulled him into a group hug.

"Shall we go see the rest of the members and let them in on what's been going on?" I asked him.

"Sounds like a great plan. The sooner the better given how long Jackson holds grudges, and the others aren't exactly going to be an easy sell either, "Jinyoung offered, before saying, "Great to have you back in the fold, Sharay."

"I never really left. It was just an unexpected detour really," Sharay reply as we walked towards the car hand in hand. "How will we find the rest of the guys?" she asked.

"They'll be practicing a song they've been working on 'in secret' without us," I stated.

"Why without you?" Sharay inquired, confusion clouding her face.

"Because the song's for you," I offered by way of explanation, "and I'm the bad guy."

"And I'm seen as the fence straddler," quipped Jinyoung.

Jinyoung drove, while Sharay and I sat in the back together. Seat belts, and the furtive glances and smirks from Jinyoung in the rear view mirror, were all that kept us from our previous level of passion. As I held her had, I could hardly take my eyes off her.

As we approached the company, Jinyoung suggested we crouch down to go undetected by the fans who were milling around outside. I could see him give a cheerful wave as he maneuvered the car into the underground parking area.

Alighting from the car, the three of us headed to the garage level elevator and took it up, heading to the practice room where the other members would be.

As we approached the room, I could hear music wafting through the air. Looking through the glass window in the door, the five members were hard at work going through the final preparations of the choreography. I took a deep breath and pushed open the door, having instructed Jinyoung to accompany me in and Sharay to wait a bit before entry.

I gave a hearty applause to the guys, as the song was killer and the choreo was lit.

"Is there any chance we can join you?" I asked, knowing in advance what the response would be.

Jackson gave me a death glare and made to walk away. I could see he was barely controlling his anger, his clenched fists and white knuckles were a dead giveaway.

"Why not? It's about Sharay, isn't it?" I pressured.

At that, he spun and charged me. Having the advantage of catching me a little off guard, I found myself being pressed forcefully against the mirror, his hands having grabbed the collar of my shirt. He fairly growled at me when he said, "Don't press your luck. It's taken everything in me not to clock you each and every day for the past six months. You have no right to say her name. I've only kept my cool because you're the leader, but know that you're leader in name only because of your past abilities in that role. You've lost all my respect and I'm having a hard time submitting to your authority."

Jackson gritted his teeth and closed his eyes for a second, apparently attempting to regain his composure but finding it difficult because I could no longer maintain my poker face and I broke out in a full on grin.

"Seunnie, do you know how much I love and appreciate you?" I said, throwing him completely off guard. With that he pushed me away and backed up from me like I had some disease.

"Don't. Don't you dare call me that. You have no right to call me that anymore. We're no longer friends. You lost that privilege when you treated Sharay the way you did. If that's how you treat friends, I want no part of it," he growled.

"Seunnie," I pressed as I walked towards him. He backed away as I approached him.

"Stop. Hajimah! I don't want to hear it. I've missed you so much and it hurts to hear you acting like your old self. I won't be sucked in though. You've changed and I won't be fooled again." With that, Jackson turned, wiping tears from his eyes.

I approached him and wrapped my arms around him in a back hug that he attempted to shrug off, but he was sobbing too hard to make any real headway in brushing me off.

"Seunnie. I love you and I want to thank you. All of you've been the best. You've been loyal to Sharay and for that I'll be forever thankful. You've also stood up to me and called me out for presenting as a real jerk these past few months. I'd have lost respect for you if you'd accepted what I did without question."

At that Mark, piped in. "What are you going on about. You're making zero sense."

Jinyoung stepped forward and added, "You guys are the best. I'd have to agree. I've posed you some challenges myself, because sometimes I was pissed off at Jaebeom and other times I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I know you thought I was vacillating between being on your side supporting Sharay and being on his. The thing is, I had some information that led me to question whether things really were as they seemed between Jaebeom and Sharay."

Yugyeom and Bambam were exchanging glances, Youngjae was looking nervous, and Jackson was still crying quietly, but had stopped struggling in my arms.

"Jinyoung met my grandfather when we were debuting as JJP, and again just before GOT7 debuted," I offered, like that would explain everything.

Instead of providing clarity, I was awarded with quizzical looks and Jackson turned and, shaking his head in confusion commented, "You don't have a grandfather."

When I mentioned my grandfather's name, it was Bambam who piped up and said, "Yeah right. Isn't Im Sing-Ki the name of the like 10th wealthiest guy in Korea?"

"Actually, he's only the 15th wealthiest guy," I said, all but spitting it out like I was Youngjae discovering cucumber in my salad.

"Wait, You mean you're a chaebol?" asked Youngjae in disbelief.

"Wait guys, you're getting a head of the story," interrupted Jinyoung. "As I was saying, I'd had some experience with Jaebeom's grandfather, so when I thought Jaebeom was acting way out of character and more like the one who was dumped than the one doing the breaking up, I followed him. Thing is, I wasn't the only one following him. Some other guys were too, and on one occasion I recognized an old man in the car they were driving as his grandfather."

"Oh, and to make things more complicated, Jaebeom was following someone too. Sharay!" he added with the flair of the actor he is.

In unison almost, the guys spun and looked at me. "What the....," seemed the common facial expression for each of them.

"It's a long story, but suffice it to say, my grandfather wasn't pleased about me dating a foreigner and used the family registry as a means to force me to go on that blind date and make it look like I was breaking up with Sharay. I wasn't allowed to tell her or anyone that I'd made a deal to keep away from her for six months, with the end goal of getting him to forever back off if our love was still as strong after half a year. He was sure Sharay would hate me and, as an added bonus, he hoped you guys would walk out or push me out of GOT7, since he'd never wanted me in the entertainment business to start with," I summarized.

"That's how I knew about him," chimed in Jinyoung. "He tried to stop Jaebeom from debuting both as JJP and as GOT7, but was unsuccessful."

Jackson, who was still fighting tears and a wide range of emotions he'd been holding in check for six months, asked the pertinent question, "Why're you here then when you should be talking with Sharay? Or have you already? If so, what'd she say?"

As if on cue, Sharay walked in at that moment.

 

**༺ ¤○•° Sharay °•○¤ ༻**

I nearly ran into the room when Jackson charged Jaebeom, but held my ground a bit longer, knowing Jaebeom had a plan to restore their relationship and would do so even if he had to take a few hits in the process. It was only when Jackson started crying at the sense of loss because he felt Jaebeom had betrayed me and them that I could relax a bit. It was also pretty clear when it was appropriate for me to enter.

"Hey guys," I offered a bit shyly.

"Sharay!" cried the chorus of voices, as Jackson broke free from Jaebeom and ran over to give me a big bear hug.

"Um excuse me," I heard Jaebeom say while tapping Jackson on the shoulder. "That would be my girl you're getting very friendly with, and if you don't mind, I'm not exactly willing to share her just yet."

"Oh, sorry. My bad," Jackson said, stumbling over his words, as well as his feet, as he started to beat a hasty retreat because of the infamous death glare the leader was aiming at him.

"Wait just a moment Im Jae Bum. Jackson's my friend too and you got a really long hug in with him earlier and now it's my turn," I said with a wink.

Jaebeom's glare shifted to a smile as he pulled Jackson and me into a hug, commenting, "This feels really right now."

Turning to the Hong Kong member, I said, "Jackson, thank you for the weekly text messages. Though I know it must've been hard to send them, especially since I never replied, they meant the world to me. The thought of losing Jaebeom was bad enough, but losing all of you was rough in its own way too. You're all such a big part of my life. I just couldn't bring myself to respond, as I couldn't get too close to Jaebeom, but I also couldn't bring myself to block your messages. They were like a lifeline to me; a hope that maybe things would work out, though I had no idea how that would happen. At the same time, each text was a painful reminder of what I'd had and lost. Thank you my friend for being so true and loyal," I said as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay. Now that really is enough," said Jaebeom as he playfully pushed Jackson aside.

Over in the back of the practice room, Mark, Jinyoung, Youngjae, Bambam, and Yugyeom were whispering in a conspiratorial way and finally emerged asking, "So how are we going to address your grandfather, Jaebeom? His actions deserve a reply and we're thinking it should be a pretty public one."

 

 


	38. Killing with Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharay attempts to melt the heart of Jaebeom's grandfather, hoping to mend the rift between his family members, but is this a task too tough to handle?

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

It was time to set a plan into action, so we piled into an 8 pack van and headed to my grandfather's estate. Though I understood the desire of some to have a public apology for what had been done. I also recognized that pride was one of the biggest issues that would prevent that from every happening.

While Jinyoung drove us, I conferred with Sharay, since she and I were the primary ones who'd been affected by his actions. I did realize the others felt they should have a say, but I decided to defer to Sharay. Jackson did pipe in that we really needed to still show respect for our elders and event lamented that he'd do anything to have another day with his grandfather.

Taking all these things into account, we arrived at my grandfathers' with a plan of action. Start off hard, coming in swinging, have the members back off, and then I'd sucker punch him in a way he would expect. Following that Sharay would take over and then down the line, we'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"I know my grandfather doesn't want to see me, but we're not leaving until he does," I informed his assistant.

As we waited, I began getting more and more irritated at the disrespect. Sharay and I'd proved out love for one another and then some, despite everything my grandfather's thrown at us, and now he was unwilling to acknowledge his defeat.

"You can come in now," we were informed and the eight of us all but stormed into my grandfather's study. Even I recognized how intimidating we appeared. Even Sharay seemed to tower over the man who had made our lives a living hell the past six months.

The other six began in rapid fire succession:

"You are the most evil man alive"

"You undercut our group dynamics as well as Jaebeom's personal life."

"Your actions were selfish and you're hatred of non-Koreans is offensive, painting Koreans as xenophobic at best and racist bigots at the worst."

"I can understand why Jaebeom's parents left and abandoned you."

"If you treat your employees like your family, I'm amazed you ever succeeded as a businessman."

After a tirade by the group, I turned and asked them to leave Sharay and me alone with my grandfather. As planned, the guys departed with boy language reminiscent of scenes from the "If You Do" MV.

Turning to my grandfather, I began the switch and bait.

"All the things the guys said were true, but I also have to thank you."

I paused there for a moment to let my words sink in, and then continued. "As much as your actions were hurtful and damaging over the years, I have to confess that your attempts to bribe me away from my parents at the age of eight helped me focus my goals early on in life and appreciate the unconditional love Mom and Dad showed me as well as the support they provided after joining JYPE as a trainee. Your efforts to undermine my debut with Jinyoung as part of JJP allowed me to see the honesty and integrity of our CEO Park Jin Young. Again, I thank you for that, as it gave me confidence that I could trust his word when he said we would get another chance when we didn't do as well as expected and were returned to trainee status."

"Further," I continued, "my anger at you for calling and gloating about how I'd 'failed' fueled my fire and allowed me to dig deeper in myself, strive harder, and work longer, even to the point of utter exhaustion, just to prove you wrong. Had it not been for you, I would have probably tucked my tail in defeat and never reached my potential. When you again tried to interfere with the debut of GOT7, you helped me see my leadership potential as I was responsible for six others and could stand strong knowing I'd acted in their best interest despite the money you'd offered me to back out and leave them in a lurch. That allowed me to hold my head up and feel confident even when we faced difficult times and struggled in the early years. And I also have to thank you for your recent efforts to rip Sharay and me apart. Though I knew our love was strong and true, these past few months proved it beyond a shadow of doubt, and gives me absolute confidence that nothing will get between us – ever. So, what you intended for evil and for your own self gain, has not panned out the way you planned, but worked for the good."

I said all this with the calmest voice I could muster while looking him right in the eye. Sharay's hand was squeezing my hand in reassurance as I listed the above proof that he's not only failed at undermining me, but had inadvertently bolstered my resolve in everything he'd tried to thwart. Then it was Sharay's turn.

**༺** **¤○•° Sharay °•○¤** **༻**

As I listened to Jaebeom list off the things he was thankful to his grandfather for, I decided that there had been some definite benefits to all the trouble he'd caused. Now it was my turn. I needed to soften this man until he was willing to apologize, but at the same time I suspected that there was something in his past that had caused him to become the selfish and controlling person I'd come to meet.

"The contract you signed with Jaebeom prohibits you from interfering, but there's nothing in there that stops us from interacting with you, so from now on, I'll be coming here every week. I want to find out who you really are and why you decided to act the way you did. When Jaebeom has free time in his schedule, he'll be coming with me."

"Ha! What makes you think I'll let you in when you get here?" Jaebeom's grandfather gloated.

"할아버님 (halabeonim – a more formal version of grandfather), I have this," I said holding up the contract. I'm sure the press would have a field day with this and it would negatively impact your stock prices, something the shareholders would most assuredly frown upon."

With that, 할아버님 grunted, turned away and said,"Good luck with that."

Noting it was time to leave, Jaebeom and I departed, but not before I waved goodbye and gave a cheery, "See you next week."

The following week, I found myself alone in front of 할아버님's estate. As I pulled up and exited my car I was a little apprehensive, when a wizened old man carrying a watering can and dressed in old jeans and wearing a large hat approached.

"You must be Jaebeom-ah's girl," he stated with a wink. "Here to soften the old man, are you? We'll I bet if anyone can do you, it'll be you. Care for some insider tips that might help?"

"Oh yes please," I gushed, having shown up without a real plan and feeling a bit like a fish floundering on the side of a boat without a clue how to get going.

"Well, I'll have you know that I've been the gardener her since I was a boy, helping out my dad. I first worked for Jaebeom's great grandfather, and I knew Jaebeom's 할머니 (grandmother – halmoeni). That's the key to breaking down the barriers the old guy's set up. She was the love of his life and his whole personality changed when she died 30 years ago. Follow me a moment. Let me show you the grounds. It'll help," he offered, walking away and beckoning me with his hands by wiggling his fingers in a "come here" motion.

I dutifully followed and tried to take in the sights as I proceeded to a large glass greenhouse located towards the back of the grounds. As we entered the building, I was overcome by the strong floral aroma that wafted through the air in waves of different scents from roses to geranium to carnations. The green house seemed to house every type of flower known to man, which seemed impossible and defied the frigid Korean winter outside the structure.

Shortly, the older gentleman stopped and turned faster than seemed possible for someone of his advancing years. "Where are my manners? I didn't introduce myself, I'm Master Gardener Choi, but you can call me MG Choi."

"It's a pleasure. I'm Sharay," I offered as I extended both hands in a respectful handshake and dipped my head in a descent bob.

"Oh you will definitely do. You have all the manners that will melt the old guy's tough exterior. Jaebeom's dad taught him well, and he you. You're a good student too, by the looks of things. You pay attention to details. So listen up. There's a vase in the main hall. You can't miss it. Do you know the one I'm speaking of?" he inquired.

"Oh, yes. I remember. It was empty, but in a photo 할아버님 had on his desk he was pictured in front of the vase full of flowers and he was smelling them and had a big smile on his face. It so reminded me of Jaebeom. He does that with flowers too," I said, sharing my observations.

"Ha! You're quick and observant. That vase has been left empty for 30 years. I think the old guy treats it as a shine to his wife. She adored flowers and kept that vase filled with fresh blooms on a regular basis; blooms that came from this very greenhouse. I think that if you take the chance and fill it with some fresh cuttings you'll start to crack his shell so to speak," came the advice with a cautious and slightly hesitant tone.

I thought it a little humorous that MG Choi called 할아버님 an old man, when he was clearly the elder of the two. I guess it had more to do with his perception of the younger man's attitude about life rather than chronological age.

With some careful inspection of the greenhouse contents, I was helped in selecting 20 fresh cut flowers, which were placed in a tall tin bucket along with some fern and baby's breath. Apparently, the quantity of 20 was a key point too, but I'd have to ask about that at a later time. Once I was armed with the flowers, MG Choi guided me back to the front of the house.

He stopped before he came in view of anyone who might be looking out of the house and handed me a slip of paper. "My phone number," he offered. "Call and let me know if you need anything. And, one last piece of advice. Be true to your heart and don't let his possible outbursts dishearten you. He's a broken man who just doesn't know it."

With that he gave be a soft pat on the shoulder and a gentle push in the direction of the front door.

Walking up the front steps, I arrived at the large double door and rang the bell. At first there was no answer and then the door was opened by someone I assumed was a servant of sorts. "Mr. Im is not available," he offered.

"That's okay, I'll wait," was my reply, as I slipped my way past him into the hall where I kicked off my shoes and quietly proceeded to place the long stemmed white roses, which I'd been told represented a new start, into the ornate vase.

Just as the last rose was in place and I'd finished adjusting the greenery and baby's breath, so it had a pleasant and even presentation, I heard a thunderous noise from behind me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THAT? HOW DARE YOU TOUCH THAT VASE!" screamed 할아버님, as he all but catapulted towards me while grabbing the flowers out of the vase and unceremoniously tossing them to the ground in a fit of anger while stomping and screaming words I'm sure Jaebeom had purposefully chosen to leave out of my Korean vocabulary repertoire for a reason.

할아버님 looked a little like Rumpelstilskin from the Grim Brother story of the same name. If I hadn't been so taken aback and terrified, I probably would have laughed.

After letting off some steam, he fixed his eyes on me with a death glare that reminded me of his grandson a little, but without the soft underlying personality that tempered Jaebeom's visual daggers. And he began in a soft tone that was even more menacing that his screams and tantrums from before, "You have no idea what you've done. The last person to put flowers in that vase was my wife. You've ruined my memory of her. Get out. Get out," he all must whispered, in a voice more menacing than any shout.

Cold chills went up my spine, but I stood my ground. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I thought the vase was beautiful and had seen the picture of you on your desk. You looked so happy smelling the flowers, I just thought..." I trailed off.

"You thought? No you didn't. That smile was because of my wife's kindness. Not because of the flowers. Now when I smell flowers it just reminds me that she's not here. You have no idea how it feels to lose someone you love. You could never understand," he chided me.

That's when my brain shut off and my instincts kicked in. I took a deep breath, as I unsuccessfully tried to hold back my own tears, and offered in a low and quiet voice, "Actually, I know exactly how it feels to lose someone I love. Six months ago I lost Jaebeom, and unlike you when your wife died, she left you with the knowledge that she loved you. I was left with the belief that he hated me and that everything, every memory we had was nothing but a lie. So don't you dare tell me that I don't understand. I lost Jaebeom because of YOU and I lost the memories of him too. You stripped all that away. I would NEVER knowingly destroy your cherished memories, as I know how very painful that is on top of everything else. I was only trying to be nice, because Jaebeom loves flowers and always buries his face in them, just like you did in that picture. I saw a little of him in you and a little of you in him. But I was wrong. He's nothing like you and for that I'm thankful."

할아버님 had stopped in his tracks and was staring at the flowers scattered on the flower. He said nothing further; just stood there like in a trance.

"Again, I'm sorry. I truly am," I said as I headed towards the door, but just before exiting, I called back, "I'll see you next week. I made a promise, which I intend to keep no matter what."

With that I turned and left without looking back, only to find that as I closed the door behind me that I was sinking to the ground in a heap. I remained there for a while before I was steady enough to make it to my car and crawled into the driver's seat, at which point I started a crying jag that went on for quite some time. Finally, I had the wherewithal to start the engine and crank on the heater. As the engine roared to life the CD I'd had in the stereo began to play. Taking deep breaths and letting Jaebeom and Jinyoung's vocals from "Find You" (by Defsoul and Andrew Choi) waft over me, I was finally regaining my composure when the old gardener rapped on my window.

Rolling down the window to speak with him, he offered me a linen handkerchief and apologized, "I thought he would be upset, but I wouldn't have suggested it had I known he would go off that badly. I'm so sorry."

"No," I replied. "You don't have to apologize."

"Let me show you something that might help," he offered withdrawing his cell phone from his pocket and turning the screen so I could watch.

The scene I'd just experienced replayed before my eyes. Apparently MG Choi had filmed the whole incident. However, he hadn't ended the recording at my departure. There on the screen before me, ever so slowly, I saw 할아버님 bend down and carefully and tenderly pick up each rose and sprig. With a gentleness that belied his earlier venomous outburst, he lifted each bud to his nose and inhaled as if he were breathing in new life itself before placing the cuttings one by one into the vase. When he was done, he closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment, then opened his eyes looking up with a peaceful smile on his face. The transformation was miraculous and had I not seen it on film would never have believed it possible.

MG Choi then said, "Next week we'll maybe do Lilac or Geraniums. They have a wondrous scent. Just call me when you're on your way and I'll have them ready. Oh and may I suggest, if you're up to it, you make some kimbap? He used to eat that as an afternoon snack, but that too has been taboo in the house since his wife died."

Giving me a wink and a gentle smile, the old man turned back towards the garden and I finally felt the energy I needed to drive the hour and a half back home.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

When the guys and I returned from a fan meet in Busan that evening, Sharay shared with me the events that transpired at my grandfathers. I got the sneaking suspicion that she downplayed a lot of how 할아버지 (Grandpa – slightly less formal – halabeoji) responded to her placing flowers in the vase, but since she seemed fine I didn't press the matter. I was able to fill her in on why I loved flowers so much though. It hadn't come up in conversation before.

My dad always brought my mom fresh flowers every week. Even when they were dirt poor and were just starting out in the tomato farming business, he would get her flowers each week. It may have only been a single stem plucked from the side of the road, but I grew up with flowers in my home and a sense that they signified love and an unbreakable bond. I guess that's why I always gravitated to the bouquets the fans gave us. I thought it rather obtuse of me that I'd never put two and two together.

When I was little my dad shared that his mother always brought his dad fresh cut flowers from the garden and the house always was perfumed by the natural scent they emitted. How sad to think that something that had such a huge impact on my father, and then later on me and my mother, would be something that stemmed from my grandfather.

Surely, this discovery, his picking them up after Sharay left, and the change in his countenance was a sign that our plan could be realized. I only wished we weren't scheduled to be out of town the next time Sharay was planning on meeting 할아버지.

When she told me about MG Choi and the kimbap, we called my dad to get some insider information. Apparently when his mom died, which was about four years before my parents married, his father had gone into a tailspin and became mad at the whole world. He became a control freak and demanded that everything be done his way, leading of course to my father basically being kicked out of the family since my grandfather had someone picked out to be his daughter-in-law, and that someone wasn't my mother. Seems my mother had made the mistake of bringing kimbap as a gift when she was first introduced.

My father had said it was my dad's favorite, so it seemed like a safe bet, though neither knew he'd stopped enjoying many of the things associated with his wife out of some misguided belief that it was showing her some strange loyalty to abstain. Apparently, 할아버지's reaction was over the top, as he hurled the container and kimbap across the room as if my mom had tried to poison him. That had been the last time my parents had seen my grandfather until I turned eight.

Armed with this information, Sharay walked thorough what she had planned for the next meeting with my grandfather. Though I wasn't keen about her being alone with someone with such erratic behavior, I was confident that she could overpower him verbally and even physically if need be. Despite some concerns, I was looking forward to hearing how the next step in the process would pan out.

**༺** **¤○•° Sharay °•○¤** **༻**

As I pulled up to 할아버님's house, I was greeted by MG Choi who had already prepared a beautiful bouquet of flowers that had a scent you could smell a good five feet away. This time, as I rang the bell, I didn't wait for a response, but entered on my own, removed my shoes, called out "I'm home!" and proceeded to the vase and began arranging the flowers.

As 할아버님 arrived, he looked flustered by my insistence of putting flowers in the vase, but he silently acquiesced. Smiling at him, I said, "The drive was crazy today. I'm starving. Have you eaten yet? Could you use a snack?" and without waiting, I proceeded down the hall to his study, lunchbox firmly in hand.

I noted that he lingered a moment at the flowers vase and tried to surreptitiously take a whiff before acting put out about the whole thing. Following me down the hall way, he acted like I was going to steal the silver. Little did he know I had bigger plans than that.

Once in his study, I repeated, "So are you peckish?"

"No," came the terse response.

"Okay then. How about you show me around this place. I don't even know where the bathroom is, much less the kitchen," and with that I linked arms with him like we'd been like long buddies and all but dragged him out of his study into the hall, before prompting, "So? What's first? Which way? You lead?"

I received an undignified grunt and he pulled his arm from mine and walked down the long hallway slightly ahead of me. To the left was a large dining room, further along was a formal parlor that looked as if it had never been set foot in, especially since it had plush snow white carpeting. I chuckled to myself thinking what Lunk's muddy footprints would do to the pristine surface. The far end was a huge kitchen like you would see in some fancy restaurant. All I took in lead me to believe that Jaebeom's grandmother had enjoyed entertaining and feeding people, yet the house was devoid of life or companionship.

At the final turn, we walked into a two-story room that was top to bottom book shelves with rows upon rows of books. The wooden floors, shelves, and paneling, along with the soft glow of incandescent lighting made the room seem so inviting and cozy; the smell of old books hanging heavy in the air, make me blurt out, "Wow! If Jaebeom could describe his ideal place in heaven I think this would be it."

I think I startled Jaebeom's grandfather, as he turned and looked at me before begrudgingly asking, "Jaebeom likes to read then?"

"Absolutely. You can't find him without a book under his arm and his music playing in his ear buds."

"You mean he actually reads books and not electronic books?" he asked incredulously.

"Heaven forbid! Only real books for Jaebeom, and hard covers or leather bound preferably. He orders them by the dozen and devours them like a kid would candy," I gushed before I could stop myself.

I received a raised eyebrow in response followed by, "What about you? Do you like reading too?"

"Everything and anything. I particularly love history, all periods, and dystopia. I even occasionally take a shot at writing myself, though I'm not that good. Jaebeom likes my stories though," I added, petering out at the end there, since I rarely shared that I wrote, as I didn't want anyone to ask to read my work. Fortunately, 할아버님 was very unlikely to ever be interested in anything I wrote, so I guess my slip was harmless.

"Do you read in Korean as well as in English?" was the follow up question.

"Of course! Do you think your grandson would have taught me Korean but left me illiterate? God forbid. He's too much of a snob to do that. We often, well we did in the past but haven't had a chance recently," I amended before continuing, "...we read to one another. It helped me with my Korean pronunciation and allowed me a chance to ask for clarification as we were going along. Jaebeom and I would alternate between Korean texts and English ones. Your grandson is quite the literary nerd. He ever writes poetry, after all that's what his songs are really. Have you ever heard any of his compositions?"

할아버님 didn't respond to this last question, but I could tell he was listening intently to what I was saying, though he tried to look like he was disinterested as he searched the shelves for a particular book.

"Here," he said, thrusting a particularly thick and dusty treatise at me. "Read to me. Let's see what you've got," he demanded impatiently and with a condescending air.

I swear, 할아버님 loves to try and make me squirm, but he was out of luck this time as the book he presented me with was one Jaebeom and I had delved into about nine months prior. It was an interesting book that covered the Japanese occupation of Korea and the resistance fighters. We'd checked this out as I'd been interested in learning more about that time frame and the English history books were bereft of anything and the Korean academic books were dry and lifeless. This piece of work made the period jump off the pages, so I gladly accepted the task and sat down, beginning to read.

After an hour of reading, my throat was parched and my stomach was grumbling, so I suggested some tea and the snacks I'd prepared. Stopping first in the kitchen to turn on the kettle and prepare the tea (where was my drink slave when I needed one?) we returned to 할아버님's study.

Before opening the lunch boxes I'd prepared, I offered by way of explanation that Jaebeom was not that fond of Western foods, so I'd learned how to make a number of Korean dishes. I offered to cook him a full meal next time I came, but that this snack would have to suffice this time since the hour and a half drive would have left any noodle dishes soggy and other items limp and inedible. I offered to prepare kimchi stew with rice and side dishes next time. I'd bring the kimchi, if he made sure the kitchen staff have the other ingredients available for my use. Absently he nodded his ascent, as I handed him a set of chop stick and opened the lunch boxes.

Since I had been forewarned by Jaebeom's parents about their incident with the kimbap, and I had personal experience of 할아버님's volcanic level tirades, I made sure to keep a firm grip on the side of the lunch box. When he basically went ballistic and went to slam the lunchbox across the desk and onto the floor, I gently and swiftly lifted it and moved it out of reach.

"Hey! I'm hungry. If you don't want any, you don't have to eat it, but please...." I said like I was speaking to a child experiencing a temper tantrum, a tone I'd perfected working in child care. I then placed the lunch box next to me and proceeded to eat the seaweed wrapped goodies.

"Oh, I think I hear the kettle. I'll be back in a bit, but don't you dare destroy this lunch. You may, of course help yourself if you'd like," and with that I gave him the look of a stern teacher and walked to the kitchen to prepare the tea. Upon return, I noted that he had stuffed two whole pieces in his mouth and was trying to pretend that he hadn't. 'Damn', I thought to myself, 'he and Jaebeom have the same atrocious eating habits!' How could two people be so alike yet one so lovable and the other so horrid?

I ate another piece leaving a single section in the container. Pretending I hadn't noticed his earlier gorging, I causally said, "Well, there's only one piece left and I'm full. No sense taking this back to Seoul. Guess I'll just throw it out."

Out the corner of my eye I could see the look of desperation in 할아버님's eyes. He really wanted it, but his pride wouldn't let him ask for it. Knowing his behavior from the week before, he was inclined to fish it out of the garbage after I left, so I picked it up with his chopsticks, which had been left on the table, and I basically shoved it at him saying, "Come on. Waste not. Want not," thus allowing him to eat it while preserving his pride and dignity.

Judging by the look on his face, 할아버님 enjoyed the kimbap. Now three levels of our plan were in place: the flowers, the books, and the kimbap. Next to tackle was Jaebeom's music, though I'd alluded to it earlier, more reading, and a full meal.

 

 

 


	39. Reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharay finally starts making headway with Jaebeom's grandfather when disaster strikes. Will she ever get a chance to answer the second question Jaebeom asked her after the Miami fanmeet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading “Not My Bias.” I really appreciate any kudos and comments given.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Over the past three months Sharay has been meeting with my grandfather every week. Though my schedule had precluded my visiting frequently, I've made it over there a couple of times. Each time, his attitude seemed to be showing additional warmth, though he's still super prideful and arrogant. He's yet to apologize for breaking us up or for the hurt he caused Sharay. I guess I get some of my pigheadedness from him.

Today I'm joining Sharay on her visit. I laughed to myself because of how devious this girl could be. I had no idea that she'd plan so much that would then come across as coincidental. Each week she would call and speak with the head gardener and select flowers with poignant meanings and then weave that into her conversation with him, deftly directing the conversation how she wanted to steer him. Last week she'd introduced him to GOT7 music and, surprisingly, he'd liked it. The way she did it was nothing short of brilliant. I sometimes think that part of her plan is for me to see similarities between my grandfather and me, so I can learn to avoid going to the extremes he has.

**༺** **¤○•° Sharay °•○¤** **༻**

Last week, I really struggled going to visit 할아버님. I was having one of those monthly occasions where everything hurts, and I thought it would be less painful to have my insides removed with a spork without benefit of anesthesia than to deal with the cramps. Nonetheless, I made the drive and upon arrival I was apparently white as a sheet and shaky. After getting the flowers from MG Choi, I entered the house and began arranging them in the vase, at which time I basically passed out from pain, only to wake up in a big bed surrounded by pillows and with a cool cloth on my head and a hot water bottle on my stomach.

Smiling in remembrance of the first time Jaebeom had ministered to my periodic attack from the "hormone goddess of hell," my eyes searched out and found 할아버님 sitting in a nearby chair reading a book.

"Ah. You're awake. Feeling any better?" he asked me with concern in his voice.

"Yes. Sorry," I mustered, as I attempted to pull myself into an upright position in the bed.

"Bet Jaebeom doesn't know that a water bottle helps," the old man commented as his gaze seemed to take on that of someone who was thinking of the past. "My wife suffered with cramps too. It was a trick I learned back then. It seemed to ease your discomfort some."

I softly chuckled, smiled, and replied, "Actually, even before we dated – when he was staying at our home during his English training – he helped me in much the same way when both my parents were away for the day. He went to the store and bought a water bottle that had a fluffy animal cover on it. He told me his mom had cramps as well, and it was something he'd learned from his dad. Apparently, his father learned it from you. I get this way every few months and he'd always..." I trailed off after starting to say, "At least when he was around."

할아버님 looked a little uncomfortable. It was clear he understood that I'd had at least a few sessions this bad during the six months when Jaebeom and I were separated. Though he didn't say it, I could tell he was bothered by that fact.

In an attempt to change the subject a bit, he quipped, "But you don't really get your man card until go to buy feminine...."

"Hygiene products?" I finished for him. "Guess he earned that card the first time as well."

At this, 할아버님's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?" he said with some pride for his grandson in his voice while nodding thoughtfully to himself.

"Can I get you anything else?" he offered.

"Please," I said. "I don't think I can drive home just yet. I think I could use a little more rest. Would you mind listening to some music with me," I said, knowing he wouldn't deny me anything after that not so subtle hint that I'd suffered alone several times because of his meddling with our relationship.

With that, I pulled out my phone and a blue tooth speaker. Scrolling through my playlist, I found just what I was looking for, my GOT7 playlist. Turning it to the first song, I hit play and leaned back on the pillows, closed my eyes, and commented, "This always relaxes me and helps."

As the songs played, I tried to subtly ask if 할아버님 liked the songs, and much to my joy he did. He didn't ask who the artists were but seemed to focus on the different voices and the one he gravitated to the most was that of his own grandson. He said there was "something pure and yet strong about it."

After over a dozen songs, I finally said, "You know, your grandson's quite an entertainer. He sings, dances, composes, and keeps that crazy group in order. Have you ever listened to any of his songs before?"

할아버님 grunted and scoffed, "You obviously picked songs you knew I would like. Do you think his songs would be like these? I seriously doubt it. I mean, he wears earrings and make up, torn jeans, and dyes his hair. That's not exactly my style, and I can only guess his music would be equally as unappealing to me."

I started laughing. In fact, I laughed so hard my belly started cramping again and the tears, a mixture of pain and joy, streamed down my face.

"What's so funny?" he ask, a bit annoyed that I was obviously laughing at him.

"I just think it's funny that you've judged him so unfairly. For the last half hour or more you've been listening to nothing but GOT7 songs, mostly compositions of Jaebeom, and every time a song came on, the voice you liked the most was that of your grandson. You know, the grandson with earrings, makeup, and torn jeans!"

"What?! Really? That was Jaebeom and his group?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, really," I confirmed. "Who else do you think I would listen to when I feel lousy? His voice always soothes me, except..."

As I said this last thing I could feel my face drop, as I remembered the six months when I couldn't bear to listen to his songs without it creating pain so unbearable that I would run from the room if one of their songs began to play.

Clearing his throat and looking uncomfortable, 할아버님 noted in a low mutter he probably didn't intend me to hear, "It must have been even harder during 'that' time."

I could only nod silently and turn away, as I focused on the fact that it was only a memory and that it could no longer hurt me. After a moment, I turned to him and with a smile assured him, "That's all in the past."

A few more songs played while we sat listening without talking, conversation having become uncomfortable. Finally, I pulled the covers back, swung my legs around, and stood up from the bed. Announcing as I did, "I think I have the energy to drive home know."

I collected my things and walked to the door, 할아버님 following me at a distance. As I exited the house, I turned and gave him my traditional farewell, "See you in a week!"

Each time I departed, I would say, "See you next week!" and would get a gruff grunt in a resigned acknowledgement. Every week though, it seemed as though the gruffness was dissipating bit by bit.

That following week, my goal was to have a karaoke session with Jaebeom and his grandfather. I'd even obtained one of those portable machines and had already loaded it into the car.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

As expected, Sharay'd primed my grandfather by introducing him to some GOT7 songs last week. I hadn't expected him to take the initiative to search out more songs prior to our arrival together though.

Announcing that she was going to have us do karaoke, my grandfather proudly announced that he was going to sing "Q." Interestingly enough, I found he wasn't half bad, but joined him after a bit so we could complete it as a duet. I think I surprised him by selecting some trot songs and meeting him where he was more comfortable musically.

As we left, I noted that Sharay said she'd be back the following week, and that the old man tried to hide his pleasure. When I said, "I have to head to Thailand so it'll be a while before I get back," he made some snarky remark like, "Who asked you anyway?"

I'm not sure if I find the guy irritating and rude or if his attitude annoys me because I can see some much of myself in him. His comments resembled some of the ones I'd made in Fans in response to Ahgases. Was it endearing or plain mean? I was given a fair bit of grace by Ahgases who thought my savage comments were charming. I was beginning to wonder.

On the drive home I turned to Sharay and noted, "I see way too many similarities between my grandfather and me. He's basically unapproachable, unless you really work at it, and he puts my efforts, and those of Jinyoung, to be savage to shame. Should I temper the comments I make on 'fans'? I know some of the anti's have said I'm cruel and mean. That's not my intention, but am I? Have I ever spoken to you like that where you feel belittled or dismissed?"

I genuinely wanted to know, and knew that Sharay'd tell me like it is without holding back.

"You're kidding me right?" was her response while throwing her head back and guffawing like only Youngjae could match.

"That's who you are," Sharay continued. "You put up this big tough guy, bad boy front and yet that's only your protection from getting hurt. You're such a marshmallow and all your fans know that. Don't pay attention to the antis. Be yourself. And as for me? You've said a few things over the past year that could've been construed as cutting, but I know from the look in your eyes where your heart is. There was only that one time at the JYPE elevators, but I now know you were acting. Have I told you that was an Oscar winning caliber performance? Also, I can give as good as I get. After all, I recall saying some snarky things about your eyes when we first met. I think your grandfather is similar. He's been hurt in the past and he uses his show of indifference as a shield to prevent pain. He just doesn't yet understand that if he keeps people away he may not get hurt by them, but he also won't let them get close enough to received love and companionship. You don't have that problem."

**༺** **¤○•° Sharay °•○¤** **༻**

After a dozen visits, I was finally told, "Call me 할아버지." Nothing more was added. No explanation was given why I'd earned the right to a less formal way of greeting Jaebeom's grandfather. But there it was. I'd passed another hurdled and, even though he didn't elaborate, I felt like I'd won the lottery. I must have had a stupid grin on my face for the remainder of my visit. As I got into my car, I was so distracted that I forgot to say I'd be back the next week. Buckling up and getting ready to pull out, I noticed that 할아버지 was still standing there in the drive. As I went to pull out, he called "See you next week!?"

A week later, I jumped in my car looking forward to meeting with 할아버지. On the way, I called through to MG Choi to let him know I was about half an hour out. I knew the old man was feeding my arrival times and schedule to Jaebeom's grandfather. It was all kind of cloak and dagger, but I found it sweet that someone who only recently hated me was looking forward to my visits.

Traffic had been good. I was driving on a highway with three lanes going in one direction. The opposite flow of traffic was separated by a grassy median and there wasn't an accident in sight, when out of the corner of my left eye, I noticed a car traveling from the opposite direction, coming towards me, careen across the median and flip in the air. I barely had time to register that at my current rate of speed, and with cars pinning me in the center lane on either side, that it was going to land on me if I didn't do something. And quickly too!

Instinctively, I slammed on the brakes while simultaneously downshifting from 5th to 1st and rapidly letting off the clutch. I could hear the engine rebel at what I did and knew that my transmission was none too happy. I then grabbed the hand break and began to pump it until I came to a full stop, as the oncoming car flipped and landed about 10 feet in front of me.

Though I'd averted the collision with this errant flying vehicle which landed in my path, I could only pray as I glanced in my rear view mirror to see that the driver of the truck behind me wasn't as adept at stopping in such an emergency. Impact was guaranteed and I willed myself to relax all my muscles as best I could, with my only thoughts being of Jaebeom, my family, GOT7, and 할아버지.

**¤○•° Jaebeom's** **할아버지** **°•○¤**

"Where is she? She's late." I demanded. "You said she called over half an hour ago and was on her way. She should be here by now. I have something important to tell her." I could hear the combination of anticipation and nerves in my voice.

"I don't know," was the reply from my master gardener. "She's usually very punctual. Maybe she had car trouble" he offered. "Would you like me to call her and see what's holding her up?"

"Of course. Do you think I'm just talking to hear my own voice?" I said, hearing that my tone was hearkening back to the way I spoke not that long ago, so I amended it with a, "That would be helpful, please."

Old Choi dialed Sharay's number and it seemed forever before there was an answer. "Is this Sharay's phone?" he asked raising an eyebrow at me as he spoke, signaling that he might have dialed wrong. Then his face turned white before he continued in a shaky voice, "Is she all right?"

I grabbed the phone from him and said, "This is her 할아버지. What happened to my granddaughter? Is she all right? What happened?"

Time seemed to stand still as the EMS person on the other end shared with me that there had been an accident.

It was bad. Really bad. Fortunately, having been in a high pressured business with multi-million dollar crises to attend, I was very good in emergencies and kicked into autopilot mode.

I took out my phone and dialed my grandson. I knew he was at some fan meeting or something in Busan, but I had to reach him right away.

The phone rang and someone answered it. I didn't know the name, but gathered it was a manager or something. I quickly introduced myself and said I needed to speak with Jaebeom.

"I'm sorry. I'll have him call back when the fan meeting is over," and without another word he hung up on me. If I hadn't needed my phone to call back, I probably would have thrown it in rage.

I called back and the phone rang and rang. Finally, the same person answered again and in a rather condescending tone, informed me he would pass on my message.

"Listen. I don't care what instructions you were given. If you value your job and your life you will walk this phone to my grandson right this very instant, as this in a family emergency. Do you or do you not understand?" I said in the most authoritative and threatening voice I could muster.

As he apologized, I could hear him swallow hard and his footsteps hitting the ground.

"Jaebeom-sii, your grandfather," he said tentatively and I could hear the phone exchanging hands.

"할아버지?" Jaebeom asked with concern. He must have known something was wrong, as I'd never called before. "Is Sharay all right?" he asked, seeming to already know that the news would be bad.

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

Sharay was going to visit my grandfather without me again, but she seemed happy to go this time since he'd instructed her to lower the formalities during her last visit. As we'd yet to tell the fans that we were dating again, it wasn't as though she could join me at the fan meeting in Busan anyway. We'd decided to announce our reunion once the old man apologized and we could share what had happened without setting back all the progress we'd made with him, and since I was incapable of hiding my feelings for her we'd decided to have her skip formal functions for a season.

About an hour into the fan meeting, one of the junior managers who was relatively new to JYP can running onto the stage. Jinyoung locked him with a death glad, but his face was sheet white and it seemed as though whoever was on the other end of the phone was even more frightening that our resident Savage Mom. I stifled a giggle and briefly wondered who the poor sucker was who was getting the call, when I recognized the phone was mine.

My heart sank. I knew only my grandfather could frighten someone enough to bolt onto stage in the middle of a fan meet, and I knew he'd only call if it was life or death. My mouth went dry as I heard his voice. It was like steel, but I could sense the stress in his vocal cords. A sense of foreboding swept over me.

Before he even answered my question about Sharay, I was on my feet and exiting the stage. By the time I knew what hospital she'd been transported to, I'd arranged a flight to get there as soon as I could. The whole way there, I could do nothing but pray.

**THREE DAYS LATER**

**༺** **¤○•° Sharay °•○¤** **༻**

I had the most beautiful dream. I could hear Jaebeom talking and singing to me. I knew it was a dream though because the last time I'd seen Jaebeom was by the elevators at the Company. He hadn't been saying sweet things to me, and he certainly wasn't in the mood to serenade me. He'd been angry and hostile. I desperately tried to stay asleep, as I didn't want to wake up to reality; the reality of having spent the last six months by myself, with Jaebeom leaving me and hating me.

Try as I might though, I finally opened my eyes. Looking to my right I saw Jaebeom, his head facing me, eyes closed. He was sleeping sitting up in a chair but with his head rested on my bed, arms folded beneath him. His face was so close I could've reached out and touched it, but I knew this was an extension of my dream and that if I tried to touch him, he'd disappear and I would wake up for real.

This dream was so vivid. I could clearly see the two moles over his left eye, the circular chicken pox scar between his brows, and his long eye lashes resting on his cheeks. His breathing was heavy and his eyes looked a bit puffy and rimmed in dark as if he'd not been resting well. As I watched him, tears pooled in my eyes and my chin began to quiver.

I was on the verge of losing it when his eyes opened and fixed on me. Despite his eyes being red and puffy, they seemed to shine when they looked at me. As he opened his mouth to say something, I quietly spoke.

"Please, don't say anything. If you do, I'm sure to wake and I don't want to wake. Not just yet. I just want a few more minutes of this dream where it feels like you still love me, okay?"

"Sharay," he said softly. "This is no dream. This is real. You were in an accident. Don't you remember?"

A searing pain shot through my temple, as I shook my head.

Gently, Jaebeom reached up and cradled my face in his hands and with his thumbs he wiped the tears that were making their way in rivulets down my cheeks.

"But you hate me. Why would you come if I was in an accident?" I asked incredulously.

"Sharay love, what's the last thing you remember?" he prodded gently.

Scrunching up my face I choked out, "Elevator area at the company," before turning my head away from him. I just couldn't meet his eyes. They were so kind and filled with love and I just knew that any moment now the truth of how he felt about me would come out, and I'd be stabbed in the heart with pain again.

"Sharay," he coaxed. "That was four months ago. You were in a car accident three days ago and suffered a severe concussion. The doctors said you might experience some short term memory loss for a bit because of swelling to the brain. Just listen to me. I love you. I always have. Those six months..." Here he trailed off before starting up again. "The break up. It wasn't real. There was a reason I had to do that. I can explain, but believe me. Why else would you still be in Korea after your original contract ended?"

**⊱ ♫ ────── ⋆Jaebeom⋆ ────── ♫ ⊰**

The doctors had warned me that there might be some short term memory loss because of where her head injury had taken place. I just wasn't prepared for that to wipe out everything good from the time we reconciled. How was I going to explain it all to her again now? I didn't have my journals or Pimil at the hospital. She looked so broken and hurt. All I could do was reach for her and wipe her tears, but she pulled from me. As I went to hug her, she shrunk from me like she was afraid I'd hurt her. Well, I guess that was a reasonable response given that the last thing she remembered was me being an evil bastard to her at the company.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and my grandfather walked in.

"Excuse me," he began. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Maybe I can shed some light on the situation for you."

"Who are you?" asked Sharay in a tentative voice.

"I'm Jaebeom's grandfather."

The look of surprise and confusion on Sharay's face was clear. Turning to me she asked, "You have a grandfather? You never mentioned a grandfather."

My grandfather continued, "He never mentioned me because I wasn't the kind of grandfather anyone would have wanted to acknowledge." At this he bowed his head in shame and humility. 'I've undermined my grandson on more than one occasion from the time he was eight. Before that, I disowned his father and ignored his existence. When he was set to debut with Jinyoung for JJ Project I tried to prevent it. Later, I ridiculed and jeered him when he had to go back to his trainee status, and I also tried to prevent his debut with GOT7. As bad as those things were, the worst thing I did was threaten my son and grandson with removal from the family register if he didn't break up with you. I didn't think you were good enough. I was prejudiced because you weren't Korean and I was, frankly, jealous that he'd found someone to love."

Though he struggled with his confession, he continued. "I'd lost the love of my life, my wife, shortly before my son met Jaebeom's mom. I'd turned into a bitter and angry man who hated to see other people happy and went out of my way to destroy their happiness, so I could have company in my misery. To protect his father and future children, as well as you, Jaebeom struck a deal with me that if your love could last six months without you being told what was going on, I wouldn't ever take them off the registry and I'd never interfere with the two of you again. He knew the registry would be important for any children you two had, given Korean bias against mixed heritage children, and he was confident that your love would survive anything. After six months, he explained everything to you and you forgave him, and you even tried to befriend me. For the past four months you've visited me every week and treated me with kindness and respect, though I never apologized or showed kindness to you after having done so much harm. You were on the way to visits me when you got in your accident."

At this point, my grandfather dropped to his knees and bowed down. "Please," he begged. "I know you may never forgive me, and you probably shouldn't. God knows I don't deserve such kindness and grace. But please. Forgive Jaebeom, again, as he loves you deeply and never betrayed you or your love. I am so sorry. So very sorry. Please place all the hate for any pain and heartache you've felt on me, as I'm the one to blame."

Sharay just sat there looking at my grandfather with wide eyes and then said, "Jaebeom, would you please help him up. Regardless of what he may have done, I apparently forgave him before or was at least working on it."

Reluctantly, I left her side and helped my grandfather up. As he stood, he smiled sadly at her and said, "If you don't get your memories back, can we maybe ..." Then he shook his head and turned to leave. "No. I have no right to ask that of you. At least I have the memories of the past 12 weeks, and Sharay, you and Jaebeom have my blessing, though you are already blessed to have each other and don't really need my permission anyway. You are the most wonderful young lady ever and he couldn't find a better partner." And with that, he quickly exited the room.

I returned to Sharay's side and looked at her expectantly, then added, "Well? What do you think?"

"This is either the most elaborate dream ever, or.... Is this for real?" she asked, searching my face for the truth.

I reached for her again and held her to me. I carefully moved so my lips rested against the side of her neck and then softly peppered her jaw line and cheek with tender kisses, until I reached her mouth. Though I tried to be reserved, the kiss became more demanding and intense as the emotions of nearly having lost her overtook me. It was only when she responded in kind that I finally let out a sigh of relief.

Pulling back just enough to look at her, I said, "Sharay, whether you ever get all your memory back or not, or if you were to ever lose all memories of me, I'll stay by your side and love you and remind you of all our times together. And I'll do that over and over, as many times as needed, because I can't live without you. I was so afraid I'd lost you for real this time."

Sharay gulped back a sob and whispered, "Thank you for loving me. I hope you know that no matter what, I'll always love you and forgive you anything."

"Can you forgive me that fast? Can I be that fortunate?" I asked, amazed that she would accept the truth and move on so quickly.

"It's easy to do since I love you and to be with you is what I've wanted more than anything. I don't have to think twice and I'm surely not going to play hard to get or anything," she said in response.

"Can I ask a favor then?" I ventured.

This elicited a raised eyebrow from Sharay, so I continued. "I haven't slept much in the last few days and I'm really tired of sleeping sitting up, so could your slide over and let me rest next to you for a bit?" I smiled coyly at her as I said this and earned a well deserved thump on the arm in response.

"Seriously? Aren't you moving a bit too fast? What if someone were to come in? How would you explain that to your fans? Huh?"

"Well, if you'd just answer the second question I asked you that night in Miami the right way, it'd be no problem."

"What second question?" she queried, clearly confused and wondering if she'd forgotten something else.

"How long do I have to wait before I make you my wife?"

"How long before you actually ask me to be?" she quipped in return, as she leaned over and pecked me on the lips.

I all but picked her up and moved her to the one side of the bed and jumped in the bed beside her, wrapping her in my arms and giving her a full body embrace.

"Can you live with my crazy, hectic, and busy schedule? Can you put up with me and all my quirks? And those six guys that come as part of the package deal? Will you? Will you marry me? 'Cuz I love you and really don't want to miss out on any time I can spend with you ever again."

"I'll give you an answer, but it'll only be favorable on one condition," she countered

"Only one? Sure. Anything. What is it?" I replied.

"Can you tell me what you did with the kitten!"

The smile on my face was so broad that my eyes all but disappeared as I answered, "Do you think I'd ever give a cat away? Especially one you gave me? Of course I still have her and you both love each other very much. Nora adores her too and she even occasionally allows Odd and Kunta to share her. Her name is Pimil. Pimil Yagsog."

Hugging Sharay to me, I sighed and recalled the first time when I held her in my arms as we awaited help to fix a flat on Alligator Alley that first night we met. I could hear Sharay almost purr with contentment as she snuggled up to me. Yep. That green eyed feisty stray cat I'd met back then, I definitely decided to keep her.

"So would you have any objection to getting married on the beach in Florida in a couple of months when I have a long enough break for a honeymoon? We could make it a small private wedding with just our parents, grandparents, Daniel, the rest of the guys, the Chus, and maybe a couple other close friends? Maybe Rick would be willing to lead us in our vows. If we honeymoon on a private yacht we could avoid the media. What'd think?"

"Sounds like you have this all planned out, Mr. Im. But two months? What's the rush?"

"I'd marry you this instant if I could, but you still haven't answered? Is that a yes? Cuz I love you and anything short of a yes isn't gonna do."

"And your fans? How are they going to take this?" she pressed.

"We'll sick my grandfather on them. He's dying to make you his granddaughter and will probably willingly share that he split us up and now wants us together. He's crafty, but very charismatic when he wants to be. He didn't earn billions and run a large corporation without some people skills and the ability to manipulate people into doing what he wants while making them think it was their idea, ya know."

"Um, billions?"

"Oh yeah. Your boyfriend's not only an idol; I'm a chaebol!"

At this Sharay scrunched up her nose and said, "Great. So KDramas aren't exaggerating when the elders of rich families hate outsiders! Is there anything else you haven't told me Im Jaebeom?"

"Nope, nothing else. So? The answer to my question?" I said raising an eyebrow. "Will you marry me in a couple of months? Will you be my wife?"

"Yes. I'd love to," she said, smiling. And I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"Did you actually think I'd say anything but yes? Pabo!" she said as she leaned over and kissed me, which I happily responded to.

Though we were both exhausted, we lay like that in each other's arms reminiscing about the past, and I filled her in a bit more about the four months she'd lost, reassuring her she would probably get all her memories back according to the physicians' prediction. As Sharay's eyes started to close, before she fully drifted off to sleep, I said, "I'm not sure when I first fell in love with you, but I'm pretty sure it started the first moment we met. I was just very slow about catching up mentally with my feelings."

"Hmmm," She replied groggily. "Have I told you lately that you're not my bias?"

"That again? Do you have to rub it in?" I winced just a bit at the thought.

"You'll never be my bias, but you'll always be my soul mate."

As she drifted off to sleep I whisper, "I'm glad, because that's the only way I'd want things." And with that, I too lapsed into dreams; dreams of the day we'd be wed.

**_The End (Of the beginning)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have three epilogues planned for this fan fiction that will be written and uploaded after I finish the new Jaebeom fanfic I am writing. I hope you follow me so you’ll get notifications of this new series when I upload it. 
> 
> My new fan fiction I am writing is a legal drama that takes place in an alternate universe, where Jaebeom is a dual US/Korean citizen assigned to the USAF Judge Advocate Corp. Newly assigned to Osan Air Base in South Korea, Jaebeom joins forces with a USAF JAG, Captain Alex Stark, to uncover the mastermind behind a drug and human trafficking ring that involves people from both the States and Korea. The working title for this fan fiction project is “Legally Complicated” (subject to change). I’ll be writing quite a few chapters before publishing them, so that I can upload them in a timely and consistent fashion.
> 
> In the meantime, I will start uploading some of my other Jaebeom one shot stories.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are a fan of Jaebeom, please check out the [Im Jaebum (JB) Amino](https://aminoapps.com/c/im-jaebum/page/blog/welcome-to-the-im-jaebum-amino-community/r0Vg_w3VCeurZ3K6N8aEr3YkX0pzodgqJmG) where I'm one of the leaders.
> 
> I'm also uploading this on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/151430407-not-my-bias-an-im-jaebeom-jb-fanfic?utm_source=web&utm_medium=facebook&utm_content=share_info


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